How To Stop Being So Awkward

[@Gallowglass7]

"It may seem difficult at first, but everything is difficult at first."

[@letsgoBrandon204]

It's been difficult for the last 37yrs!

[@greengame9713]

Miyamoto Musashi

[@rahul_ji21]

@@letsgoBrandon204 😅

[@gordo6908]

@@letsgoBrandon204 this but unironically

[@BrianGivensYtube]

@@letsgoBrandon204 Yeah, the first 37 years. The next 37 should be easier.

[@notbrad4873]

I became less awkward as soon as I stopped caring about how I appear to others, and being up-front about my weaknesses. "Sorry what was your name again? Sorry, it takes me a few times hearing a name to remember it" then I'll repeat their name out loud. Ive learned being completely genuine is the purest form of communication and it never fails me. Keep in mind sometimes being genuine means shutting down conversation when the other person is participating in bad faith. That's still a success.

[@NiSE_Rafter]

It's been similar for me. Oftentimes I even include something along the lines of letting them know that I'm sorry but I may still forget their name in the end. And, also mention that it's a skill I'm still working on but I'm trying. Then I'd randomly check like "just to make sure, it's John right?"

[@ethancha9361]

"Shutting down conversation when the other person is participating in bad faith." Yes I'm still learning how to do this.

[@notbrad4873]

@@ethancha9361 For me it was a matter of respecting myself and my own time, and nurturing my own independence so that I don't *need* to spend time and interact with people I dont want to

[@Digital_Rust]

That is something I've realized as well.If you can just be honest about some things sometimes you'll be surprised how non awkward it can be.

[@ethancha9361]

@@notbrad4873 so insightful, I will use this.

[@dezthepleb]

"You're not trying to get them to like you" For whatever reason, I found this mindblowing.

[@kfk4441]

My mentality in college was : I want to get better at talking, so I'd try elaborate stuff, dumb stuff, weird stuff, emotional stuff, etc. It worked since I was more focused in trying stuff because I thought "there's a high chance I won't meet this person again and they forget about me so I'll grind some social exp for myself using them". Same as for talking to women, guess what, as Dr said it's the same kind of interactions until you decide to change the objective. Personally I like to chat with someone and then after a couple of days change my objectives, friendship? Relationship? I want to learn from them? Get a grindset gamers, and try to have fun at it

[@yea885]

lol social exp

[@found_it]

I like how he applies gaming concepts to real life situations

[@jayleno1222]

@@found_it Well tbh life is the hardest game out there. It’s pretty much just a huge hardcore sandbox MMORPG where you grind through tough challenges with only one life. I feel like there are certain people who can benefit greatly in life if they view it in that perspective.

[@vasarat1]

Sigma cringeset

[@someobscuremusicchannel]

Exactly, I actually never thought about it this way. Like, if you're playing a fighting game and you're in it to WIN, then you're gonna be mad if you lose, but if you're in it just to get better, then it doesn't matter if you win or lose, you'll be satisfied either way that you just gained some experience. That's actually a big part of how you get good at literally ANYTHING now that I'm looking back on how I gained skills at stuff in the past, don't be in it for the grand prize, just be in it to get better, and just for the fun of it.

[@Moose92411]

The biggest change I ever made in my social conversations was SLOWING DOWN. I used to try so hard to have a witty reply ready IMMEDIATELY, and I would definitely panic in those unpredictable scenarios

[@josiahjackson3757]

What helped me was realizing that being quiet and awkward draws more attention to yourself when the goal is the opposite. Having a confident conversation draws less attention and is better for everyone involved

[@soultheconfusing9563]

I might be stupid 💀 but can u pls elaborate a little more? I don't really get what ur saying here

[@lumi5056]

@@soultheconfusing9563 basically just talk whatever u want in ur mind. No one gives a fk about u. Humans are more selfish towards themselves. For example taking a group photo, everyone had a perfect photo but u were smiling so long for the photo that ur cheeks got sore and the smile is abit imperfect but no one pays attention about u unless u blinked during the shot. Tldr even if u stand out by doing something embarrassing. Most people wont be able to rmb them and even if they do why do u give a fk about what they think abt u

[@LOLHAXGUN]

@@soultheconfusing9563 when in the social situation the people are expected to talk and you don't you will stand out the most. They will be thinking along the lines of "whats up with them? do they feel sad/bored/awkward?" etc.

[@josiahjackson3757]

Yeah. What the last two said. Being quiet and shy in order to avoid attention is like trying to blend into a busy crowd so you dress up like a ninja for stealth

[@princered10]

@@josiahjackson3757 The premise is flawed though because people avoiding conversation avoid the interaction altogether unless they're forced into it.

[@awanturnik978]

I love how he always gives practical, real life scenario examples.

[@lntcmusik]

Yeah I think so too. That way it's much easier. Helps me a lot to find a connection with abstract things.

[@OMGITSJAD]

I love when he breaks it down to a scientific way the brain works just cause it makes me feel like oh I'm not so stupid for not having the nerve to say Hi to someone. Someone saying "Just talk to someone it's easy!!" makes me feel dumb as rocks and makes me want to recluse even harder than I already do because obviously I must be stupid if I can't do something that's so easy.

[@cayleece7890]

Lol, the I liked the Bell Pepper 🫑

[@beterraba_wojak]

I don't know, but I thinking it's because he read real people problems on the reedit lol

[@awanturnik978]

​@@beterraba_wojak and maybe because he is proffesional and not fake.

[@humanbeans7952]

Man this is right on time, I used to be very social but since covid all my negative beliefs about myself are flaring up bad getting in the way of socializing

[@capitcha]

This is weird to me because I am having the complete opposite effect on me. Ever since online school ended and I went back to in person school, I feel like I have a sudden boost in confidence and have lost all awkwardness and insecurities of myself. I used to think so much what people though of me before but now I don’t anymore. I know I didn’t care about it during online school because my camera and mic was off 99% of the time but did it somehow just transfer to in person?

[@JewJupiter]

1, I like the name, 2 I feel the same way. Right before covid hit, I was a senior in school, always hanging out and talking to my friends, but then the lockdown hall and it’s like I forgot how to speak to people and it’s been more awkward. It sucks because I feel like I’ve gained the ability to have a good conversation through text, but when it comes to speaking to someone in person, I draw a blank.

[@Rustyknife1]

Socializing is a waste of time

[@Christian-iu3lo]

I found this advice useful. My normal excuse for not approaching with people is "I don't have a clear reason for taking to them". I never thought to set my "reason" or objective as seeing if the person is worth interacting with

[@dickiewongtk]

Same here

[@JewJupiter]

I feel the same way. But even if I set that objective to interact with them, I don’t know how to interact. Idk if I’ve trained my brain with the excuse that you mentioned, or I just need more practice. I blame the whole lock down for this because I feel like I was better at talking to people before covid😭

[@Queen_hWitch_Melody]

I love how you addressed the fact that women are humans. It reminds me of my favorite quote from George R.R. Martin. When asked how he is able to write female characters so well, he replied, "You know, I've always considered women to be people."

[@manuelsilva6244]

Yeah but on average men and women experiences are different, even within men and women it's completely different the experiences they have in a country like America or in a country like Malaysia. Things that a lot of men identify with women don't and vice versa. I feel like there's a lot of things people think they understand from each other but they don't.

[@joshparker5779]

"I think of a man, then take away reason and accountability "

[@Queen_hWitch_Melody]

@@joshparker5779 While I don't agree with the sentiment, I can't fault you for quoting Jack Nicholson. :v

[@GAOMaster]

blood came out of their vaginas tho

[@mrdesperado9521]

@@kunikuzushis the truth often feels gross

[@kylestephens9593]

How To Stop Being So Awkward? don't stop it. let the awkward flow through you.

[@efectovogel8295]

This tbh, I’ve found that accepting my awkwardness has helped me to build better relationships. That way I’m more honest and sincere with myself, and people usually (either consciously or not) notice this and likes it

[@froobly]

This is a core component of mindfulness for me. If I'm trying to suppress a feeling, even if that feeling is awkwardness/anxiety, it only builds the anxiety. Step 1: acknowledge and accept the feeling. Step 2: there is no step 2

[@zorkmeadd]

i purposely say twitch emotes in real life to be cringe

[@kylestephens9593]

@@zorkmeadd MonkaHmm

[@Bennime_Once]

I'm not akward because of the things I say, I am akward because I don't say anything or give only short responses

[@weightmane1186]

Dr. K scares me sometimes with the timing and topic of his uploads

[@WanderTheNomad]

I think a checkmark account copied your comment

[@slushfest8475]

Yep, that git has been copying people all over youtube

[@Makgeulli]

XD he knows what's going on in your life and make svideos according to it 😂👀

[@greatwavefan397]

Like Psych2Go

[@niteshade2271]

my biggest problem is, when someone wants to get to know me, i don't always convey myself correctly. sometimes i lie on the spot because i'm not sure how to put something in words right off the bat. sometimes there are multiple truths about me that i want to answer back but i feel forced to stick to what is relevant with the given context. it's hard to explain. i know i'm not doing it right.

[@marija1922]

i understand you completely! even now i want to add something to validate my understanding but i don't have the right words...

[@whatcanidooo]

I do this too

[@capitcha]

If you don’t want someone to know something about you, then don’t lie. Just simply avoid their question or ask them to stop. Lying about yourself is sure to bite you back later down the line, depending on what you said.

[@mitthrawnuruodo1730]

For me the biggest problem is that I get EXTREMELY exhausted from a conversation. I can’t be in a conversation for too long without burning out and wishing we could stop talking. I literally don’t have stamina to talk most of the time whether I want to or not. I also need 3/4ths of my time alone if I’m to function, so I don’t get a lot of time to socialize. It’s also not fun to always be called “lame” and “virgin” with the few times in my life that I have tried to “hang out.” If I’m not going to click I won’t even try. But sadly you need to socialize in society. I could go on but long story short it’s a lot…

[@spl3013]

That’s just being an introvert, I have the same problem and no one seems to get the hint that I want them to leave me alone for a bit. Plus if I stop talking they say something along the lines of “wHy arE yoU So quiEt😡😡??!” Its kinda bothersome lol

[@mitthrawnuruodo1730]

@Jahod Davis I do

[@mitthrawnuruodo1730]

@@spl3013 yup, most people can’t stand the sound of quiet and the void that it brings. I think it’s like a white room for them, idk.

[@NiSE_Rafter]

Bro it's you. I just own the fact that I enjoy spending time by myself own hobbies and being a virgin. Who gives a shit. I'm confident and sociable when I need to be so people don't ever mention it, question me, or comment about my character. Although I get annoyed with too much time around others and need to go home to recharge, I've learned how to play the game. It took time to cultivate the skill though and it sucked at first. I often forced myself to go to things and talk to people despite having no desire to really do so. Perhaps pick people to hang out with that better align with your interests and work your way around to different groups from there.

[@mars_ffs]

hey sorry man, u don't deserved to be called those things. if it was by supposed "friends", u deserve better friends. keep ur head up. if it's any comfort, i used to find conversations unbearably exhausting, but as ive grown in confidence & found "my people" it's gotten better. definitely experience social burnout as a socially anxious introvert, but it's better.

[@brianfeldz1797]

You know. I feel bad for folks who did not figure this out when they were younger. But luckily I figured this out in grade school, which got me into a lot of trouble, but helped my social life immensely. “Coolness” that social phenomenon where people like you, want to be around you, sometimes become jealous of you, or just are more open to you, largely has to do with NOT GIVING AN F what people think of you. Being the most authentic you without shame or guilt. In fact, showing shame and guilt are instant signals to other people that deters them or can deter them from socializing with you. And I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel shame or guilt if you’ve actually hurt someone or done something wrong, I’m talking about shame and guilt just for being you and the way you are. And yes, this got me in a lot of trouble, especially in grade and middle school when people are trying to “form” you, but it also increased my friendships and social sphere by a thousand. And everyone presents differently when they aren’t giving an F, my version was to wear pajamas all day, or to dye my hair and become something of a “punk” by 5th grade, which in the late 80s , early 90s was not nearly as common as it is today. But by high school I was just wearing pajamas or whatever I felt like and not really caring about style and it had the same basic effect. It’s not about WHAT you’re wearing it’s why you’re wearing it and how you feel in it. Anyway, you eventually have to negotiate a socially acceptable extent if not giving a F. You don’t want to go complete psycho or Joker. But basically, be you, unashamed and unabashed. And it helped me overcome e my actual awkwardness and place on the spectrum and it sort of allowed me to be a giant nerd and A+ student without appearing condescending or snotty. Oh, and always stand up to our bullies. Don’t give them 10 seconds. Hit back before they can finish their sentence when you’re u know it’s happening. You can do that with your brain and mouth or your fists, but I’d advice doing it with your brain and mouth when possible. Anyway, yea, this isn’t clinical advice, I’m not a psychologist or psychiatrist. But this was my personal experience. And it began because I realized, all the people that others found “cool”, whether in school, in the neighborhood, in pop culture or wherever, had one thing in common, they did not show shame or guilt for who they are, they acted generally like they did not give two Fs what others thought of them and thus were able to act without having to overthink their every action and relationship. And this goes for both men and women. Don’t treat women any different at first then you would your guy friends. In fact, the best way usually to get a girl to like you, is often to act as if you do not care at all if the girl likes you. But it has to be genuine. Yes, she can tell. So you actually have to throw that caution to the wind for better or worse and not worry if she will like you by the end of the day.

[@icrskng]

Learned quite a bit from this, thanks for sharing Brian!

[@Omar-rs6mt]

Thanks a lot for sharing you experience Brian, it helped me so much!

[@perperperpen]

Showing shame or guilt makes someone more approachable to me, because im someone who isn't cool and cares a lot about what other people think about me, so it feels relatable to interact with someone who also experiences this.

[@brianfeldz1797]

@@perperperpen I mean, I get that. I think you should feel guilt if you have something to actually be guilty for. Like if you actually hurt someone or actually do something mean or harmful. Then, guilt is justified. I’m talking more about self inflicted guilt for being different, for not being something else, guilt for being you. That’s the kind of guilt that drags people down. It’s unwarranted yet it’s self inflicted. To where someone thinks they inherently don’t deserve something just because they perceive themselves as “less than”. That kind of guilt is a form of self harm. Now shame, I mean in a similar way. Not shame for things you’ve done that hurt someone. Like if you drove drunk and killed someone’s puppy, then feel that shame, you’ve earned it. I mean shame for being you, shame for liking the things you like, looking the way you do, having the body you do. And I don’t mean basic modesty. Like, lol, I’m not so modest either, so I don’t have shame in that regard. I’ll walk around naked in a room full of strangers, I could care less. Haha, but that’s not normal either. I mean shame in the sense of, “I’m a nerd I don’t have a right to play basketball” or shame in the sense of, they’re going to make fun of my body if I get undressed in the locker room. Why? Why would they? I’ll tell you why, because they are in fact the ones feeling shame. And in order to redirect that shame and fear away from themselves, they have to find a target to apply it toward. Another person to direct everyone’s attention at, so that they protect themselves from their own shame. Or the BS shame of like Catholics, who think they’re born evil and their whole life is shame. Those are the types of shame I’m suggesting ridding yourself of. Those are the forms of shame and guilt I mean. Not the ones deserved because of your actions, the ones undeserved, unjustified, based on your own insecurity or insecurity derived from the behavior of others towards you. You’re a beautiful human, you deserve respect, you deserve love, you deserve to be able to spread your arms and toes out, buck necked in front of a room full of hypocritical weirdos and not feel like they don’t all have the same body image issues you might have. Or to stand in front of someone, someone making fun of you,trying to hurt you using your own traits and your own thoughts and feelings against you. When in reality they are the insecure one. They are the one seeking affirmation. You are a fkn God. An ethical and moral God. So you can’t do everything you might think or feel. But you can freely be what and who you are without worrying if lesser minds have a problem with it. Small minds kill joy. Small minds kill love, friendship, harmony and beauty. They so often use shame and guilt to do it. So it’s even more important you don’t do it to yourself, otherwise, well, you’ll never be truly free, in your mind or in your feelings or in your life.

[@nitewarden]

You must let the awkward flow through you. I have fought my entire life (I'm 36) with being socially anxious and awkward. I had to allow myself to be weird in conversations. I had to talk and chat and practice with strangers over and over. Each time was a learning experience and each time, I had to just accept that I might say something weird but to keep trying anyways. It's definitely a skill that can be acquired. You just make a habit of practicing at it a little bit everyday whether that's talking to someone while waiting in line or to a coworker in the break room for 60 seconds. Not taking failures to heart and remembering that you're a person worth getting to know and becoming a potential friend with. Will I ever stop doubting myself and feeling anxiety on occasion when I talk to people? Nope. But I know I'm way better than I was years and years ago. I can hold my own very well in conversations in different situations now because I embraced the awkward.

[@nessie968]

I've been alone for so long, that I'm almost sure I can't contribute anything to the conversation. It feels like not a single human would like to be my friend. Really hard to socialize with a mindset like that

[@aaronkim5350]

u'll get there bro

[@nessie968]

@@aaronkim5350 thank you, that's really sweet❤

[@ElCocomega]

@@nessie968 it seems like you're watching drK stuff, most people don't know of him BOOM ! You have something to bring to a conversation after all. And also a lot of people have lived a similar situation with covid BOOM ! you have people that can relate to your experience.

[@beill1]

Same w me. Like my brain is silent like what do you bring up and talk about or keep conversation going 😭 and I havnt done rlly anything in 2 years so it’s like can’t talk ab myself lMAO

[@Aeiouaaaaaaaaa]

@@beill1 Lots of people haven’t done anything in two years! You could bring that up because that’s a sentiment a lot of people can relate to. Or you could talk about things you like doing that you were or weren’t able to do, even if you don’t think it’s anything cool, because people like knowing what other people like!

[@lilymulligan8180]

Something else to consider... I'm a woman who has never really had trouble with socializing, and I don't consider myself awkward. In fact, I make friends quite easily. However, I VERY MUCH gravitate towards awkward people to be my friends and romantic partners. The post could very well have been written by my ex. As others have said here in the comments, just embrace your awkwardness and go for it. Some of us love awkward people 💗

[@dan-zz5cm]

this kind of raises an ethical question about being attracted to something that's considered a flaw though doesn't it. For example, some people are attracted to fat people, but being fat is considered a flaw by most people who are fat. Is that ethical? idk

[@lilymulligan8180]

@@dan-zz5cm I can confidently say from experience that I'd much rather be with someone who accepts and even likes my "flaws" than someone who doesn't. I want someone who wants to be with me as I am, not someone who wants me to fix everything that's wrong with me. Sure, I'd expect that they would support any self-improvement endeavors I want to take, but they should do that from a place of love and support, and whether or not I reach my goals shouldn't affect how they love me. I think there's a difference between liking a trait in someone, and fetishizing it. Like, if someone's awkwardness was the ONLY thing I liked about them, but they wanted to work on their social skills and I wouldn't let them.... That would be one thing. For me, though, if my partner decided they wanted to work on their social skills, that wouldn't make me unattracted to them (because that would never be my only reason to date them).

[@jules4919]

I think this is more difficult when you have been bullied Idk I just can't go talk to a person without thinking they'll make fun of how socially awkward I am or that, even if I make a friend, they'll be my friends but I'll just be an acquaintance to them or Idk, something to laugh at It's fine and all to say "just try to talk to people", but I'm convinced that if I did it'll just be awkward, because it has been most of the time that I tried, and there's nothing that worsens more the anxiety than being right

[@javi7636]

As someone also on the spectrum, your explanation about the goal of conversation (and the ways that goal-setting fails) is a literal revelation. The analogy of it as a shared sandbox game is also really helpful, so thank you, very much. I actually had the opportunity to try out the new perspective today, shortly after I watched the video, and it went so much better than usual! It was more enjoyable, and I actually had a small back and forth with the other person, which rarely happens. It's definitely going to take some practice to do regularly, but I think I can do it. Thank you again.

[@malazkarar1171]

For my fellow awkward lads, "awkward silence" is not nearly as awkward as you think it is, honestly. Don't wrap your head around what the other person thinks of the silence, that's the key.

[@justified2065]

The problem comes when you have to be witty or say something funny, people will most likely ignore you if you aren't saying something interesting or funny.

[@brsajo]

I think awkwardness can be funny if you don't over-apoligise for it

[@LenCastagnier]

why do u have to be witty or say something funny? MAYBE people will most likely ignore you if you're not saying something interesting or funny. but people DEFINITELY WILL ignore you if you're awkward af and uncomfortable to talk to. Don't FORCE being interesting or funny. you're gonna be more awkward that way

[@justified2065]

​@@LenCastagnier I have been and have seen people saying non witty or unfunny stuff and you notice as time goes by that you eventually start losing ground, i'm referring to a company of friends scenario where everyone is talking.

[@dickiewongtk]

Those are shallow people. You do not want to be friends with them anyways.

[@Rodrikilus]

I usually never relate to most of Dr K’s videos but this one really hit close to home

[@Majestic469]

"setting a goal that you don't know how to execute" that really resonated with me

[@soulove9]

When it comes to socializing and mingling with other people, just remember to be first comfortable with yourself. The energy you put out into the external world will depend on what you’re already feeling internally. The people you interact with are pretty much just picking up on your vibe. It takes repetition. Once you’re able to and are used to social interactions with others, you’ll actually find it becoming easier and easier to talk with people. Then eventually you’ll naturally raise your confidence level and making a couple of friends here and there will be a cinch. ✌️

[@CubensisEnjoyer]

My own personal advice after overcoming this hurdle in my life: You really don't need a reason to ask somebody a question, even if you feel like you do. I always let conversations end because I felt it'd be weird to ask a different, totally unrelated question. As long as it's not inappropriate or weirdly targeted, just throw questions out there when they come to you. You'll quickly find that people are happy to answer your questions even if there's not a direct relation to whatever you were talking about. It will teach you how to pace conversations, when to let people keep talking, and when to pick up the conversation and move it elsewhere. Plus it sends a message that you are interested what they have to say and anybody likes knowing that. Once I stopped being scared to ask questions I became much more comfortable talking to people.

[@udonge1043]

ive been interacting with a lot of people recently and it is AMAZING how many of them are completely clueless as to the two simple concepts of: 1) invite the other person to share (ask questions) and 2) share information yourself. you can get along with almost everybody, save the people incapable of doing these themselves, if you do this. its ironic too that most of the people ive talked with, its "normal" people (non mentally ill/nd, regular popular hobbies and interests, regular life, etc) that struggle the most with this. people on 4chan have better social skills than redditors for example.

[@theamphibiousbicycle]

This was genuinely helpful. Usually advice about this topic assumes that being excessively worried about what other people think about you is the only reason for awkwardness. I can’t even get that far. I can’t even begin to consider what other people are thinking about me. I’m struggling to form sentences and give relevant and coherent responses that are socially appropriate. Not because I fear rejection or judgment but because I’m a human being who wants to interact with other human beings sometimes. Like yes, I really just need instructions for conversation. Not because I have overthought it but because I straight up don’t know how.

[@denescllopes8410]

How I became more social: I got rid of a lot of conveniences, conveniences make me so lazy and antisocial but it make life so easy.

[@anava7030]

Would getting food delivered be an example of a convenience?

[@freshlysqueezedorangejuice171]

@@anava7030 i didnt understand what he meant but reading ur comment i think it is an example of a convenience, since getting food delivered these days barely requires interaction anymore, they can even leave it at your door

[@danielarthur2915]

What do you mean by conveniences? Like making up excuses not to do something?

[@brEZ527]

What do you mean by that tho elaborate

[@denescllopes8410]

@@brEZ527 If I need something I go myself to the place and interact with people, normal activities and simple conveniences.

[@snp27182]

Glad I found this. I really have no clue what being awkward is even like. I always just say what's on my mind. Sometimes people laugh, sometimes they just nod, but the vast majority of the time I don't know what they do as I don't remember what they did. Things interest me, I will discuss these things of interest.

[@galahexie]

Right when I need it. Thank you Dr.K

[@csanadtemesvari9251]

Köszi, hogy megemlítetted. Néha nehéz arra gondolni, hogy más is szenved ezzel, nem csak én :)

[@galahexie]

@@csanadtemesvari9251 Oh, a jó kis magyaros vezetéknevem elárult😂 Igen, megnyugtató, hogy nem vagyunk egyedül

[@Kaiziak]

I don't know how to be myself. Every time I try I get shit on for it or I just straight up annoy people with my ADHD. It's easier to just keep to myself but it makes me so depressed and drowned in my dark thoughts. There doesn't seem to be a good path for me when it comes to socializing. The only true close friend I've ever had was my childhood friend who's autistic.

[@thegreatgoddess9149]

My biggest fear is saying something stupid and because I'm socially awkward, I sometimes do...which starts the cycle all over again 🤣

[@gnarthdarkanen7464]

EVERYBODY says something stupid once in a while... I (personally) dive right in and embrace the stupid thing... It takes different tactics, but as soon as I've realized I mis-spoke or worded something unintentionally badly... I make a joke of it (and often, myself) just like nothing's wrong with laughing at me. ;o)

[@capitcha]

When I say something stupid, it’s obviously kind of embarrassing on the spot, but after that I just laugh it off and I feel better about myself. And I just tell myself that everyone that heard me will just forget about it anyways.

[@playgroundweeknd]

I'm on a spectrum as well. This video was incredibly helpful. Setting goals for social interactions so they are less jarring. They are just brief chance meetings and then either going separate ways or meeting again. Getting to know someone else and sharing a few things about myself

[@playgroundweeknd]

@@3k9k I was diagnosed as an adult, during my mid 20s

[@ShaunDreclin]

9:46 I guess that's where I go wrong. Every social interaction I have it feels like I have to be "on" and do or say whatever it takes to make them like me cause I feel like the default position is people hating me and not wanting me around so I have to combat that every opportunity I get 🙄

[@0715yt]

Damn I felt that. It’s not hard to get people to like me but I feel that I try too hard in social interactions

[@ohnotagain851]

It's a brief interaction. My magnificent brain: Unless that person kidnaps you.

[@EtamirTheDemiDeer]

Surprise adoption

[@pachirisugirl7204]

It always boggles my mind when dudes don't know how to talk to a girl, it reminds me of how dudes don't see us girls as human like them lmao like bro, we have way more in common than you think, we just look a little different haha As a girl, it's really easy to sense when a dude is trying to talk to me and I can tell that he doesn't see me as a human like him and instead a creature he is trying to sexually or romantically acquire, I can always sense when that's the intention Therefore, if you wanna know how to talk to us girls, start by seeing us like human beings like you, not just a thing that fucks and kisses you 🥴

[@eyjele]

This is something I really needed to hear many, many, many years ago.... Especially the "it's not going to be the end of the world if the interaction goes wrong" part. Kind of assumed the goal of interaction is achieving everybody you talk to like you, at least not detest?... It's obvious now how destructive this thought actually is.... I'm so glad I heard something liberating. Thank you so much, Doctor K. Shocking how simple it in fact is and how life-changing for someone, who doesn't get social interactions intuitively at all.

[@dutchvanderlinde9991]

I usually like to use my awkwardness for humor and I just let it flow.

[@adielwilson8749]

Me too it’s hilarious just pointing out your fuck ups

[@PanRobak.]

Embrace your flaws, don't try to hide them

[@capitcha]

This is such a good mindset! Sounds like you don’t care what others think and you just want them to laugh and have fun. But don’t let it get too far tho lol

[@So_Iace]

Dr.K "At the end of the day if you say something wrong, its not that big of a deal" WRONG I will lay awake at night 10 years from now like "Damn I said some stupid shit"

[@elonmusk1010]

This channel keeps me human

[@ipoststuff6202]

Same here.

[@dashadow7865]

@@ipoststuff6202 JEE de raha hai kya?

[@ipoststuff6202]

@@dashadow7865 Yes ;-;

[@marsjokes]

When are we going to Mars, Elon?

[@EtamirTheDemiDeer]

It’s too late for you Elongated Muskrat

[@DzondzulaKarakondzula]

You can't accomplish everything by just rephrasing a thing in your head, though that is definitely a good thing to do. People who are awkward are afraid of social situations, afraid of embarrassment, afraid of rejection etc. The most important thing they can do is face those fears in small increments until you build up a resistance to those stimuli, after that you won't be tongue tied because you won't be hyper analyzing in order to evade what you're afraid of in social situations. This process is kinda like going to the gym but for your emotions/fears...

[@offlineuser]

Very good advice. Social skills are comparable to muscles, you actually have to invest time and effort into building them

[@linojvni2038]

probably the most important advice in life for anyone struggling with any sort of fear or anxiety

[@thedarkestsunn]

One of the things my dad was phenomenal at was making conversation. Everyone he meets loves him (but yk cuz he’s my dad I’m like what are yall seeing lmao) but this man can literally roast you and your whole family but you’ll still find him so charismatic and it’s cuz he does NOT acknowledge awkwardness in the slightest. He’s a guyanese immigrant in Canada so he’s like you’re only getting what I can give so whatever I say I good enough (man kept his accent for 30 years and keeps going cuz he refuses to feel awkward about his accent)

[@Consul99]

Haven't watched the video yet but I want to say BIG TRUE I feel the exact same way. Like people don't want me there, that I'm just troubling them and they're being kind enough to put up with me. It's also not an issue when it comes to predefined roles, even speaking publicly isn't too much of an issue because I know these people came here to listen to me or the broader subject that I'm talking about. But when it comes to making friends I don't see why anyone would want to listen to me since I have nothing interesting to say.

[@yokiweyy4770]

same for me. i was lucky enogh to find some friends years ago, and i'm kinda comfortable when i'm with them. but if i'm in a social situation where i don't know anyone, i just mind my own business and talk to no one. for example, at the gym i always see people talking with each other like they are long time friends. the instructor talks with other customers, the people that go there to workout talk with each other without a care in the world. all the while i just stay there, doing my training and not talking to anyone unless i'm spoken to first, because i don't have a clue about what to talk about, and because i constantly feel like i'm not wanted around.

[@readingking1421]

Found this channel through online acquaintances. Super glad they did, in depth discussions I can actually relate to make me feel a bit better.

[@franacha]

The problem with interactions is that there is few of myself than when it's my turn to share something I either have nothing to say or have something so pathetic and humiliating that I just don't want to. Interactions have always been out of reach for me. Ever since I can remember there was just never something to talk about. I can't make friends, I need other people to come and befriend me. (happened once in my life, strangely) I'll never be able to have a girlfriend. For obvious reasons and some more. I'll never do well in jobs, as connections are often as important as qualifications. I just don't understand how people can enjoy talking to other people, there's just nothing more stressing than that.

[@linojvni2038]

hope you have been learning to get over your insecurities friend

[@franacha]

@@linojvni2038 I haven't, no. They're part of who I am.

[@Zer0TheProdigy]

“Just don’t share deez nuts” This man is a gem

[@aayzee3138]

Dr. K, the hero we needed.

[@TheTTrickz]

Just wanna second this, thanks K

[@kunstderfugue]

But we didn't deserve!

[@shaiuken]

thirding this

[@IsaMae.T]

"... But I don't know many lesbians that refer to other women as grils..."

[@whereshyper]

It was so hard talking to strangers at first but I realized that if you just be yourself and not care about what the other person thinks about you, you can be a master at being social. I used to care about what other people thought about me and had to think about everything that I had to say and it therefore made me awkward and anxious because I felt like people were judging everything that I was saying. Now I really don't give af what people think about what I am saying to them. If you like me for me and what I am genuinely saying to you its fine but if you don't like it I don't give a single f. And it makes relationships way better because instead of catering to people's interests and making them like you for someone who you're not, you find people who like YOU FOR YOU, and not someone who aren't. Getting to that point is hard because you have to realize inside that you are worth having good people around you, and people have to earn that privilege of being with you. Having that feeling of lack inside of you will make you feel like you have to please other people to like you, when in reality you don't have to do that. Basically you have to think to yourself instead of worrying if the other person likes you, you have to think if you like them instead. Then you gain that confidence to be who you are to anyone and not care what they think about you.

[@mauryawadhwa5295]

Dude the way he breaks things down feels so simple yet makes it feel like magic

[@an6350]

Just came back from a movie theater w a girl (i'm also a girl) and it was supposed to be a group thing but everyone else backed out. I kept bringing stuff up on the way there and back and she'd reply but not really help the convo. It was so awkward. And the worst part is she's pretty normal w other people, so i wonder if i just dk how to converse??? Ugh and then this was recommended lol

[@krucell]

I mainly struggle with anxiety of talking to a new person because for some reason I always want to make that person feel comfortable in the conversation when that just makes me more awkward and quiet, making me focus on what I;m saying more and not being as free resulting in the conversation being worse, I also hate the way my voice sounds and the embarrasment of voice cracks and like stutters, etc. I've struggled alot with social anxiety growing up especially with how often I was bullied. Now I'm in a school that has the most accepting community but the older I've gotten the more quiet, self-concious, and socially anxious I've gotten. When I'm in a class with my friends I open up a bit more because It feels like I have a support almost, but I'm still not my fully genuine self.

[@Scrubermensch]

Me who doesn't like sharing my thoughts because all I have is depressed thoughts: mmmm sharing 🤔 never thought of that! Great video though! Dr K is outta here doing god's work

[@vladislavkaras491]

A really great tip of not setting any expectations on you or your companions. Thank you for the video!

[@peonyteony9001]

I've recently moved back to my hometown. A few social interactions have made me feeling very awkward - although I am fluent in my native language, it is not at the level at which most people here converse. This leaves me in very awkward situations where I am left blank in many situations. I am usually decent in social situations and think I am, at many times, able to carry a decent conversation, after moving back I have often found myself draw blanks because I am not able to give a quick response. The interactions here are often in form of banter and I am unable to give a witty response back and left feeling pretty dumb

[@Crispman_777]

I've started thinking of conversation openers to fall back on when none come to mind. They're great for making it look like you're great at spontaneous conversation but don't require spontaneous imagination once memorised. Works for texting/chat rooms too. You can copy-paste them a really detailed opener and look super respectful of their time with zero effort.

[@lliw4934]

This actually is a great and fun advice !

[@ezCat1337]

I'd love to see more on this topic Dr K! Honestly need all the help possible on this lol. Talking to other shy gamers, while being socially anxious myself is so fokin hard and confusing as hell. Thank you so much to you and your Team!

[@onlinechaosgremlin]

This is eye opening, I have realised that to have interactions at work os easy but in a social environment very difficult, this is a good reason why.

[@Randuski]

Saw a few comments in chat saying things about hating small talk. Here's something fun i started doing, (don't remember where i got it from) once small talk has started, or someone says something, listen to what they say. What was the most interesting part of what they said? Focus on that. Ask a question about it, or relate to it in some way. Then when they say something else, what was the most interesting part of that? Focus on that. You just follow this thread of what is the most interesting. I have had some surprisingly deep convos in very small periods of time, and gotten to know people quickly this way. It's honestly kinda fun haha

[@Gwenx]

As a "grill" or woman, Thank you for treating us as humans, haha! No but honestly its nice you default to woman instead of alienating the gender :) Also i agree on the "just talk to a woman like you would a man." there is no difference and they can make just as good friends as men can! And if your goal is to get a girlfriend or boyfriend, then don't try with that goal in mind, because that goal is coming across and it should happen naturally instead of being forced :)

[@agaed7676]

I actually practiced and learnt very simple conversation starters and ways to handle simple things like greetings at first. Since I am pretty quiet, when i moved to Switzerland only speaking English and french without an ounce of german in me. I barely spoke for my first few years because i would draw a blank in german since i only knew how to do it in english and french. So i translated and wrote down simple conversation starters, tricks and tips and other little things to work my way around the start of conversations. The rest of it was brute forcing it by forcing myself to use these things and watching and observing what people did and simulating how I would react in the same situation in my head.

[@TheGreatShambala]

Can you give a simple example of convo starters and how you used what you analyzed?

[@agaed7676]

@@TheGreatShambala simple questions like “what did you do last week?” “How was your weekend?” “Have you heard about A” Also noticing how different groups reacted to jokes, what kind of questions were okay in different, what people around me would discuss if they did discuss. Would they rather banter and joke around, were they okay with talking about more serious stuff. All kinds of little things. These are just some off the top of my head. Also remembering to try to answer questions with “yes, and” or “no, and”/“no, but”

[@TheGreatShambala]

@@agaed7676 Thank you this is very insightful. I appreciate you taking time out of your day to answer.

[@spl3013]

I’ve lived in Italy my whole life, my parents meeting here and all that jazz. My dad is English and my mom is Japanese so they made me learn both. On the internet, it’s easier to fit in being an English person; so I’ve made English my main language over the course of the years. Thing is I kind of forgot Italian. I can’t finish a whole sentence usually because I forgot a goal and I’m pretty much friendless now… Relearning Italian is not an option as now I must learn French German and advanced Japanese, and I have tons of tests coming up. What do I do??! No one wants to talk to me and just sees me as awkward..?

[@spl3013]

@A youtube user - Un utilizzatore youtubbico ahahah

[@VictorCardena3]

I mean I speak Spanish and am currently studying Italian recreationally, maybe I could help you out? I have the hopes of living in Italy one day.

[@spl3013]

@A youtube user - Un utilizzatore youtubbicoI don’t know but I didn’t have the same problem before I like, went to liceo (idk how to say it in English)

[@spl3013]

@kogepanm I’ve decided my grades are more important but it honestly sucks being so lonely. But if I stop paying attention to my grades, of course my parents are going to hate me

[@iamdozerq]

If anyone will know about your problem thay actually will help you with social interactions. Why not, he just bad at that language...

[@levibull6063]

I'm on the spectrum Finally some advice that would benefit me xD I do find it very ... fascinating how I'm bad with big groups but I'm fine 1 on 1 depending if I'm comfortable with the person

[@rudrarana526]

Same man. It's difficult for me to even stand in a group but in a one to one conversation i am pretty good

[@PL-kc4tm]

It takes careful planning to speak after someone finishes but before someone else starts loll

[@kallvt]

I have only watched a few videos so far, but this is currently one of my favorite channels. I have been looking up to some different sources of knowledge in an attempt to better myself, on youtube I think two of the most impactful channels have been charisma on command and jordan peterson, and now healthy gamer is like a perfect blend of them (including some others that I don't know as much). He's closer to my generation and has, or at least understands, the same point of view of life; so in a way it's like a future version of me who has mastered life and now can give the best advice on how to go through it.

[@zamelie9399]

I feel some stuff written in the post.!! YOU know what the WORST is? My boyfriend's dad is afraid that his son (and now me too bc I defended my boyfriend) won't earn lots of money later & not being able to apply for a job bc we don't have the know how. He comes to that totally wrong conclusion bc my boyfriend and I aren't the most active persons in small talk & conversations. We don't always reply with a full sentence to a story somebody else told us. We give them a chuckle or else but there is nothing for us to say. And bc of that his dad thinks we are failures and will not accomplish anything in life. I hate that his dad really believes that & is sad and furious bc of that and gets really upset about that; he doesn't listen to what we say and started insulting our way of being but not on purpose bc we insulted him not on purpose with just the way we are. i'm a quiet person but I still will make it in life....

[@jeeareohveeee9489]

You just made my day, and I predict life, better. This is exactly what I needed. Someone to ground me and tell me not to overthink, when it comes to socializing . Thank you.

[@nemplayer1776]

What if you don't like talking to people for the sake of talking to them? The only times I can ever enjoy a conversation (which is also the only time I can be charismatic and make people laugh, as opposed to being extremely socially awkward and anxious) is when there's a group activity we're all a part of and talking is just a side thing that adds to the activity but doesn't make the activity (for example playing a competitive multiplayer game, but it could be anything irl too). Anything other than that, and I'm completely useless doing basically nothing except waiting for the moment I can leave the situation and do something else. The best answer I can come up to this question is that I'm just not interested in meeting people, and more generally - I'm just not interested in people. I really do prefer being on my own. Now why do I like talking to people when the main thing we're doing is the group activity I'm not really sure. Maybe I do like talking to people, but I just don't enjoy life (or more exactly the usual way life goes) which is something you have to talk about if you're meeting people? No clue.

[@ChiddyChiddy01]

Maybe you just haven't found the right people? What if you met someone who had the same interests as you, would you like talking to them about it?

[@ssj9devil]

"that's why it's so easy to interact with people on discord because there's no expectation" me who has repeatedly blocked random people on discord because I was scared of the commitment of being online friends: o_o

[@madhumita4377]

I feel good about myself after this video.... I can totally go and talk to anyone and I can text people from my school even though we don't really know each other. The only reason why I don't talk a lot is because I do it when I want to and I am content with people around me

[@mattb9664]

As an introvert and omnivert, I've learned that it's important deal with jumping into the conversation as much as reasonably possible and not to worry about how others are perceiving you. Try not to be completely serious or impose a 'dark' tone onto others (I guess that's if your unhappy with your level of input you can typically communicate out since the introverts usually have that delay while we think before speaking, which is when others typically interject), and just understand that you probably aren't going to be the center of the discussion or even controlling the discussion. Try to get some humor in, but don't try being funny. Unfortunately our society progression has always been slanted towards the extroverts...they will always say that us introverts are 'valued' for our observations and whatever, and they like having us on the team for our opinion. Most of these interactions are somewhat predictable. It seems like a real life RPG!

[@NiSE_Rafter]

That's not necessarily anything to do with introversion though. True introversion is simply getting energy during alone time vs extraversion getting energy when with others. It has nothing to do with the ability to socialize. An introvert can be perfectly outgoing and sociable the way extraverts are often portrayed, but feel drained after such interactions. The extravert, in comparison would feel invigorated. It's 2022, we need to work through this dang misconception of introversion meaning shy with poor social skills.

[@fakename3208]

@@NiSE_Rafter y’all need to drop the introvert extrovert nonsense. It’s debatable whether or not that’s a real thing and regardless it’s not a helpful box to put yourself in. “Introverted” people find socializing tiring because they’re not used to or are bad at socializing. It’s like how people who never run get tired running a mile vs someone who runs multiple miles a day. But otherwise I agree with OP. Don’t give yourself the opportunity to chicken out. Just open your mouth and talk. I once took a class where I decided before it started that I was going to try and talk to everyone and answer every question and all that. It was amazing, I was the “extroverted” kid who talked to everyone and who the teacher looked at after asking a question. Night and day compared to my usual self sitting quietly in the back.

[@mattb9664]

I'll drop the introvert extrovert comparison when employers stop using Myers-Briggs tools to pre judge their employees, during hiring and after hiring.

[@fakename3208]

@@mattb9664 the same out of touch employers that want 2-5 years experience for entry level postitions? Besides any employer worth their weight in salt knows the guy they hired after the interview is never showing up to work.

[@melitajay]

@@fakename3208 introversion is definitely a thing. It's to do with the way the nervous system processes sensations.

[@welcometothehouse]

As someone on the spectrum, I wanted to contribute my strategy for social interaction, since the original Reddit post mentioned the spectrum. Like Dr. K says, every interaction has a purpose. Any time I'm about to interact with someone, I ask myself what the goal is. Maybe I need their advice? Maybe I want to ask them for something? Maybe I just want to have fun talking? Once I have my goal, I can consider which phrases and tools I can use to accomplish this goal. Sometimes, situations change. Maybe when I started, I wanted to just chat for fun and talk about my interests. However, the other person says something like "yeah dude I love working out." My goal is now malleable, and I can pursue the lead they've given me. They mentioned it, so maybe they're trying to fulfill a goal of bragging about their workout routine? My goal now changes to "What is their goal? Can I take any advice from it?" From there, I can consider what to say to further my new goal. Conversation is fast-paced and intense for me, even if it's casual and meaningless, and is quite draining because I have to think so hard to get it done. It takes practice, and sometimes the willingness to experiment when interacting with a friend, which will then teach me something about talking to someone in my future.

[@themariashaffer]

I feel like I can relate to this so much. Thank you for a clear understanding on how to be more self aware of what is going on and how to enter conversations. I am going to try this at work today instead of the usual robotic response that are programmed from the "goal".

[@commenteroftruth9790]

how goes it

[@UCmDBecUtbSafffpMEN3iscA]

Your topic about video games earlier and this video would boil down into one thing: We're being spoiled too much by our technology and grew too dependent on it

[@Ctrl_Alt_Elite]

5:15 "Life is Dark Souls with no wiki" ~ Shomiyomi 🧠

[@peterrosqvist2480]

We’re so used to things being taken care for us we’ve lost the ability to operationalize, the ability to use abstract thought to solve a problem

[@eirikmurito]

I dont socialize much because because people i interact with can suddenly turn hostile and I have no idea what i said or did wrong..

[@fhkabdgiasuao3920]

Damn, thank you for your work, Dr. K!

[@dkslsjjaksieowjwjqoqpqldhq7030]

Cool video, the steps seem pretty simple and easy to follow!! I'm gonna try this with some of my friends and see how it goes. It's been getting hard to get our convos to flow lately, hopefully it'll work

[@dkslsjjaksieowjwjqoqpqldhq7030]

Thank u!!

[@RKNancy]

Social situations are always less awkward when you talk about the latest popular thing.

[@iidanen700]

I always approach the social situation with simply the goal of enjoying the interaction, with no intentions for the future. Kind of like a puppydog 🐶

[@rileyharper5477]

Perfect timing, I don’t think I’m autistic this pandemic just fucked me lmao

[@dulla8469]

i just cant socialize with girls, thats it, i was a popular kid at school, from the amount of people i socialized with and the way i did it, i was friends with alot of people couldnt walk anywhere without stopping and talking to someone, if its the teacher or janitor even, but girls are just a different breed man, i just stay there silently, and after noticing that im awkward i just decide to pretend that the girl isnt there, and just talk to the people i know who are in the group, even if its a girl who has a crush on me, and it was obvious, they'd try to sit close to me, start conversations, and i'd just instantly answer with one word or two, and just talk to another person as if im not interested Edit: i just reached the Grill Part...

[@CarlsCozyCorner]

I never struggled with social interaction, but this still helps a lot.

[@tylersmith9942]

I love that he had to break down the word "operationalizing" into components in order to pronounce it, which the definition of that word he gave was literally about breaking things down.

[@chillsgaming1900]

I am taking notes while listening to this XD. This is one of my biggest struggles in life!

[@wanderingrandomer]

This honestly makes so much sense to me. This is how I've been for so many years. I never liked going out because I would just stand in the corner and not say anything. Like, I didn't see the point of doing it. Even know, I find myself asking "how the hell do I get into a relationship?" - I have no idea, really! And as Dr. K says, I'm great at completing a task that someone sets me, but not one I set myself.

[@dyanalynn6698]

“Expose yourself to the anxiety provoking activity in small doses” -Thais Gibson PDS

[@Satsui_No_Hado]

I just found your channel a month or so ago I continue to watch your content and you're now one of my favorite KZbin content creators, You're a phenomenal therapist and I truly believe that if you have a job and you can help one person life be better or help them see light where there was only darkness then you have a professional You are a professional you are successful and that your life has tremendous purpose, You on the other hand have helped thousands if not hundreds of thousands of people and I think that's really cool , just an appreciative subscriber 🙏 thank you for all that you do 🔥

[@bonkersdonkers7381]

I completely understand the point: you have to operationalize the task, which is conversation or socialization. In this case, the task of a conversation would be to get to know the person. But, what if you don’t want to get to know the person? What if you simply don’t see the point in this conversation? This is my problem. I’ll get invited to events or to socialize in a bar or a restaurant, but I don’t want to go, because I think it’s meaningless.

[@annafilou]

If you don’t want to and you’re happy not interacting with people socially, then there’s no problem and nothing to fix. Do whatever makes you happy.

[@hmorseth30]

HealthyGamerGG: the hyperbolic time chamber for socialization of nerds

[@xCCflierx]

Never thought I would sub to a channel and have 90% of the uploads relate to me

[@awanturnik978]

You should join Discord then

[@daltonmaes5674]

Dude your videos and the messages they send is divine timing as always!

[@-zod-4882]

These videos really help me mentally 😥

[@kype5258]

My mind during an average social interaction be like: "DON'T LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU ARE BROKEN!" "DON'T LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU ARE BROKEN!" "DON'T LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU ARE BROKEN!" "DON'T LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU ARE BROKEN!" "fuck... what were we supposed to talk about?!" "Wait... why is there such awkward silence..." "wait... how long has it been going like that?" "QUICK! Say something about anything... uhmmm... maybe your insecurities will do to break this terrible unbearable quietness and you might garner some sympathy too" * *Talks about insecurities* * * *Other person visibly get's uncomfortable for obvious reasons.* * "GOOD JOB IDIOT THAT'S WHAT WE WERE TRYING TO AVOID IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

[@LinkSkywalker42]

Huh. It never occurred to me that the reason my socializing skill is low would be the same as the reason I dislike sandbox games (*please* just give me a goal to accomplish). Open-ended problems and I go together like oil and water.

[@Brodysseus113]

Tbh Among Us gave me the biggest boost in not being autistic. Probably 10% of everything I learned can be tied to being able to acknowledge the weaknesses of yourself and others

[@elperronimo]

That is both sus and cringe but its ok

[@found_it]

sus

[@Brodysseus113]

@@elperronimo Being emotionally neglected growing up is very cringe but not on my part

[@kewkiex5328]

There’s more to autism then just being socially inept…

[@kewkiex5328]

@@Brodysseus113 then why didn’t you just say sheltered lol

[@mintee8638]

I find this weird, but seeing 'conversation as a game' as a tool to understand, practice, and get clear feedback. Recognize that a conversation game will, presumably, oversimplify the subject. The advantage of oversimplification is it becomes easier to focus on certain aspects of a conversation and develop skill fast there. Also, certain aspects of conversation may not be necessary to gamify but merely be aware of by hearing it once. This seems hard to gamify, particularly if one is creating the game as well. At the same time, the idea of reading a quote of advice may be a useful tool, in between rounds as a breather to the next round, assuming one's game is in rounds.

[@loturzelrestaurant]

Watching Hbomberguy and Creaky Blinder definetly Helps, I'd argue.

[@mintee8638]

@@loturzelrestaurant That would make more sense if we are referring to arguments, though even then they seem to make mistakes. I would also want the principles to be made explicit alongside examples.

[@LeeEverett1]

One thing you didn't address is that too many people when they do socialize, go in with the expectation of that person liking/accepting them that when they have an awkward or negative encounter, it throws them off. Always go into socializing with no expectations and no Fs given.

[@madhumita4377]

Not people in the chat writing down the examples....we down bad😭😭