Part of my removal from the narc matrix was realizing that she was the most glaringly obvious physical manifestation of my own inner dialogue. I was able to forgive her when I realized that she was not the problem but the key to my own self awakening. I always say that I had to lose my mind to regain my sanity. I had issues with boundaries, self love, self care and self acceptance prior to being in a relationship with a narc. I’ve still got work to do but I’m in a much better place now.
@uponcripplecreek12 жыл бұрын
Wow, love bombing defined as temporarily healing our childhood wounds, makes perfect sense, don’t think I will be able to unsee that one, thanks Michele!
@collie82 жыл бұрын
they can fool you even if you're healthy decent person. Everyone has some desires. Also they use and abuse your humanity. It's a thin ice either way.
@TVUHF132 жыл бұрын
Completely agree with you. It definitely makes a lot of sense, especially when you think back to how we survivors end up on the abuser’s pedestal in the beginning. When she love bombed me, my insecurities faded, my self esteem grew healthier and my anxiety and codependency calmed down. In a bizarre way, they do heal your trauma initially, but as they devalue, they re-wound you but more ferociously. The fall from the pedestal drops you further down then you might have been or didn’t realize due to the protective self and addiction to them. As they heal you, you become your authentic self gradually, which they despise because they envy it. They can’t connect to theirs regardless of the positive mirroring you reflect back as you are being elevated. It’s also why they need your negative reactions later during devaluation to fuel themselves with your pain, anger, desperation and confusion. As you fall, they purposely go from caressing these wounds to hammering down onto them and rip them wide open, flipping from sugar to stinging salt. Meanwhile, they are reveling in your pain. However, if you fight back against this process this is when they either up the ante to truly plummet you (shatter you, abuse you, torment you) or realize you’re too strong to keep around. They heal you too much, to the point that you can and will seek accountability, demand change, set boundaries or as it was stated in another YT creator’s video, “you grow a pair.” If you do this, it’s the opposite of what they expect and they scramble in a panic, launching the defense mechanisms. One, they could fixate heavily on finding several supply options to monkey branch to at a given notice or try to shelf you aka discard while triangulation is at play to reign back control. They don’t want your negative fuel at that moment despite feasting on it at first and encouraging it. They want compliance aka the cycle to restart or a prolonged devaluation to further cripple and hijack your “right side of the brain” while keeping the left side dormant. Since the left side is awake again, now, when you push back, it’s potential game over for them. Time to discard or possible disengagement to find an easier supply source. A more submissive and unaware target. So they attack those wounds more, the ones they healed, to maybe get you back in line or crush your spirit completely as they toss the grenade and walk out the door. Obviously, this is if you’re just together without children. If kids are involved then they will use them against you to make you comply, if and when you show resilience, since they now have additional leverage of emotional control and your wounds to utilize as weapons. These people are obviously disordered but they can be pure evil as well. Malicious. Hopefully, if we heal self and rediscover our authentic selfs, then we can protect ourselves from another toxic abuser’s ploy to control and destroy.
@MB-sg8dx11 ай бұрын
Yesssss! That part really resonated with me
@zacharythomasfreeman2 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much. I was just abused by a female narcissist and this helped reframe the situation and gave me a perspective to move on from it.
@naveedrehman29872 жыл бұрын
Pay attention to what she does not what she says. Think with your logical brain and not with your heart.
@egovssoul Жыл бұрын
And definitely not w the head between your legs 😬
@LewsTherin1002 жыл бұрын
Sometimes in life, we make small advances, and sometimes we have huge epiphanies!! This, for me, is one of those concepts that crystallizes so much of my story. God Bless and thank you Michele
@JR-nm2zu2 жыл бұрын
I checked out that other video mostly just to see you in the past and there is a difference. You look so much happier now. It's the best advertisement for what you're providing because you really do look like you are thriving inside so much more now.
@topnotch1904 Жыл бұрын
Hey, this is crazy but everything you said in this video literally aligned with what I’ve been dealing with this last two months like almost verbatim or like just coincidentally like it’s crazy and you know just watching this video just made me and just kind of solidified that I’m doing the right thing by not keeping in contact becauseshe’s already vilifying my character I know assassinating my you know my reputation not that to everybody you know and believe her you know and it’s just crazy crazy man but thank you I’m glad to watch your video. Thank you so much a lot of insight.
@topnotch1904 Жыл бұрын
Haha. Damn, sorry if my comment was confusing, I was doing the talk to text feature 💀😭
@lil--mo20252 жыл бұрын
You seem to be such a sweet and confident women. I’m so glad you didn’t allow the abuse in your life to tear you apart and grew from the experience.
@johnpaul22852 жыл бұрын
Don’t trust without a reason and love bombing ain’t no reason Thank you lovely Michele and that’ ain’t no love bomb Just the truth as many see you I’m sure 🙏🕊🌹
@tomsmith10162 жыл бұрын
WOW! What a graphic description!! Mr Juicy fruit. My best friends ex wife was so bad her next victim committed sucide. So sad, so unessary. He is now happily married to a angel in a women's body!!
@AnthonyWheatley_9 ай бұрын
One thing they do is tell you how nice of a guy you are how unbelievably nice you are
@vr89442 жыл бұрын
This is the most important video I have seen so far. Now I understand how this narc made me fall for her... She immediately knew my weakspots, and after been reading about NPD couldn't believe I fell for her. This info is on my left brain, but narcs create a bypass to the right brain through trauma bond... Wow! How they know this? Cause all narcs do it...
@tmntcasey Жыл бұрын
for anyone who wants to become stronger version of yourself. you need to live alone in your house for some months depending on your inner wounds. and also make sure you're sober, this way the body will feel safe enough to start releasing all the trauma that you've endured. also if you feel emotionally stuck then grab a paper and a pen and start writing your feelings, that way the stuck trauma comes out.
@arnie87992 жыл бұрын
I agree with your thoughts Can you touch on the difference between a healthy persons kindness and the covert narcissist when it comes to sharing vulnerabilities
@jacquelines.50832 жыл бұрын
My husband was friends with a female narc/ co-worker.. she wanted him and my husband kept her a secret.. it was really hurtfull. I feel the pain every day and she went on to the next.
@brandeno9192 жыл бұрын
Damn I needed this! Cus damn them female narcs got a imprint on me to the point one admitted it to me “I admit it I was with you for your money and sex I never loved you!” She ain’t realize she gave the answer to all of them that I met before
@daeclipse03 Жыл бұрын
Last 2 exs were female narcissists. Terrible toxic people. Lies, manipulation, cheating, controlling. I was isolated, had my belongings broken, police involved multiple times etc. Thank god i have peace in my life now.
@aceizhigh Жыл бұрын
Best videos on the subject matter, hands down. Thank you.
@treskirkebo7488 Жыл бұрын
Wow! Sometimes counselors are conveying a message but do so slightly differently and when they do the message hits home that much stronger…. At the same time this video captures just how scary these relationships are!! Thanks Michele!!
@SarahSASshow9 ай бұрын
this makes me wanna cry god this is all on point
@lindajohnson92822 жыл бұрын
Avoid dating sites! You will put your life out for everyone to see and it’s a narcissist’s dream; online dating, for narcissists, is more like a job interview, and they have your resumé right in front of them!
@philt68002 жыл бұрын
Wow my ex was exactly like her. She healed me to her purposes then tossed me aside after a year and a half. I really needed to hear this. Thank you Madam from the bottom of my heart. The best thing about my time with her is that she healed me from a previous even shittier relationship.
@zhshsG72 жыл бұрын
Thank you for doing this.
@buckjones4901 Жыл бұрын
Sometimes I just want to be nice to someone and make them feel better about themselves, and can do similar with no nefarious intent.
@rudycamposjr4147 Жыл бұрын
Its funny because alot of times when she said i like you because of this and that most of the times it wasn't even nothing i shared interest on lol just something i did once lol
@Hotpocketmountiandew2 жыл бұрын
Friends don't let friends do things under the influence of hypnotic limerance. Let alone agree to things. But you also for some reason can't explain this to others they just have to learn about it. Or else, dun dun dun....
@trevorgilchrist85162 жыл бұрын
17 years of putting up a wall after being destroyed for 2.5 years by a malignant female narcissist. I didn't even know it was a thing until years later, just thought she was damaged and crazy. I've steeped myself in the information yet just finally opened my heart after all those years. I feel like the biggest moron. It was such a rush and I felt alive again for the first time in almost 2 decades of isolation. I started seeing the warning signs within 2 weeks yet rationalized them away. I'm an idiot, I got sucked in again by a malignant, slick operator and I feel sick. I'm just entering the detachment stage and am bracing for the terrorizing whirlwind that's certain to engulf me. I'm also heartbroken beyond belief and I feel like such an idiot.
@racso11602 жыл бұрын
i just learned it the hard way too .. Dont blame yourself for giving love They are the sick ones , blame his 100% on theyre side ! Just thinking about my ex his a waist of thinking … Theyre broken they dont even know who they are .If theyre not helping themselfes its because they like hurting good people .. i have zero respect for those human waste . I give all my respect to real people like you who care about others , who can give , love and also feel the pain . the good part about all this non sense his that you will heal they wont . My ex had a doctorale degree in satanic ways of manipulating me . What helped me was thinking : the pain your feeling right now .. they have to feel it everymorning when they look at the mirror and for the rest of theyre life ! i feel pity for my ex .. so sad they made a satanic cult on her when she was a baby . today i just accept what i have been threw and i didnt remember what it felt like to have a peacefull place and not stressing about Anabelle comjng out of her box and Hey trevor , no more drama , no more gaslighting no more negativity , im starting to heal little by little .. you will too 🙌🏽
@trevorgilchrist85162 жыл бұрын
@@racso1160 I'm stuck in a psych ward wi (for anxiety/ptsd) with her and her younger, impressionable and manipulated female "minions". This is hell trying to not show how badly I'm being hurt. At least I'm armed with tactical knowledge but hiding my feelings is extremely difficult. I really appreciate the words of encouragement. She is horribly damaged and that's what hooked my empathy of course. I just don't understand how someone who has been put through so much pain can then relish doing the same to others.
@racso11602 жыл бұрын
@@trevorgilchrist8516 iv been trying to find answers for years .. beeing with her .. just like you hiding my emotions .. to protect her .. didnt want to make her feel bad for things she didnt control … at least thats what her and therapist told me .. but it was a lie .. That person manipulated me in everysingle aspect of that relationship. its been 2-3 month since i saw her …. the answer to all that his theyre are no answers .. they dont exist .. so theyre are no explanations of what sonething that doesent love doesent have emotions except anger and jealousy…Do . im still waisting time and energy for that thing .. the wound his very deep so the best answer to all this for me . His no contact .. she came back once and hurt me again .. this time its full no contact and try to erace every trace of her im my head and my house .. Trevor you have to protect yourself .. think about you .. im healing right now .. taking care of myself ..its hard but inside of me i know theres so much more out there .. even a trashcan his more than my ex .. so can you imagine … Lol
@trevorgilchrist85162 жыл бұрын
@@racso1160 That's just it. I know all about this and it's literally impossible to go no contact when you're stuck in a hospital ward with her. I just fight to hide my feelings to show her she isn't hurting me by what she's doing... when she is, deeply so.
@racso11602 жыл бұрын
@@trevorgilchrist8516 i inderstand it must be really hard :( … I can only wish you the best Trevor ! and to Stay strong 💪🏽
@patrickdaigle52392 жыл бұрын
Thank you very much Michèle 😊🥰😊
@moonshineonme750132 жыл бұрын
YOU should KNOW these characteristics are not limited to the female narcissist, a well versed narc man will utilize these same damn type of mercenary tactics...
@moonshineonme750132 жыл бұрын
It’s a total mind fu🌸ck
@raheenhenry69829 ай бұрын
Wow I just went through this!
@allennmickk3705 Жыл бұрын
So in reality, a female narcissist if they had a good heart would actually have the ability to heal a man .. That's exactly how I felt with her 😌 Course my mother abandoned me pretty much. I spend lots of time in the gym now, and look waay better , but it's still hard
@The94Beanie Жыл бұрын
Good job! Keep on going 💪🏼
@jarhead21100 Жыл бұрын
Good work homie. Report to gym immediately. This is good. Seeing the results in your body means that your meat-chassis is manifesting the reality of your hard work. Nobody can gaslight you when your autonomy produces results that you can see.
@babahaft40432 жыл бұрын
Exelent video !
@glenncowan66692 жыл бұрын
"treated like a piece of gum" they chew you up until you've lost your flavour, then they spit you out! That's good way to describe it.
@lughlamhfada25232 жыл бұрын
I see the way Michele has love for men, and it gives me hope. Maybe not all women are emasculating, withholding narcissists that are pathologically envious of men. I especially remember her speaking of her brother and his situation, and am touched and grateful.
@bradmcewen2 жыл бұрын
That 'cringe worry' is now a beautiful teacher. No success evolution story makes me happier. Proof positive your methods work. External means nothing without beauty inside. Stereotypical male priorities have been thrown out the window. The law of attraction is what's invisible. High boundary standards have set in place an unlikely match. Time is meant to be enjoyed not endured. Maybe it's a sort of safety net. Need no societal standard. You go your own way. No codependency exists. Seek not to adapt what is strange to decent conduct as human beings. Cognitive dissonance shall not occupy space again where intuition & discernment says there is too many familiar oddities. Outside your comfort zone, is just that. Need nothing, want nothing and you'll have everything.
@peterknyk19422 жыл бұрын
Oh, well! ❤️ it reminds me of when the narcissist used to pop her damn gum, right next to me, in her mouth! THAT should've been a sign....
@sarahfulcher33942 жыл бұрын
Yes please help 😮
@johnbascom45239 ай бұрын
There is a thing called over kill so you have to be careful that your not to sensitive to every word that is being said to you. I think
@anewlifestirring2 жыл бұрын
How can we tell if a person a narcissist and not merely borderline and in need of gaining support ?
@johnpick83362 жыл бұрын
The Dating Relationship Field is like an African Game Preserve where the Apex Narcissists stalk Empaths ? The Narcs hunt Empaths by the stealth and guile that fools the Empath into the Narcs Clutches.
@tharlow37462 жыл бұрын
Thank you
@samanthaoverberg1040 Жыл бұрын
This is probably a stupid question: If Person 1 treats Person 2 the way they always should have been treated and Person 1 does so not with the hope that Person 2 becomes dependent on them, but is instead doing it in the hopes that Person 2 learns to finally treat themselves that way -- does this make Person 1 a narcissist?
@donfern48972 жыл бұрын
This is good information lol
@sonnyca2 жыл бұрын
On a completely unrelated note, chewing too much gum may cause bloating of the stomach.
@tracy.282 жыл бұрын
Wow.
@donnaparks19192 жыл бұрын
My sis one
@ttttiiimmy10bit2 жыл бұрын
🧡
@fiyahriddims2 жыл бұрын
If I only would have looked at the videos we made..... but I posted them on my page as proof.
@abelchavez87862 жыл бұрын
They die too lmao don’t worry too much about them .. even with kids they die and sometimes from their dudes
@lightghost75242 жыл бұрын
Not everything in life revolves around narcissism😂