How To Stop Feeling Shy When Talking To People

[@ChrisWillx]

Watch the full episode here - kzbin.info/www/bejne/jprIdIhvo9-lopo

[@woody6791]

Can’t click on link…

[@TheKrishnaSaarthi]

Why isn't it clickable? I wanna watch this...

[@kimvannatter5214]

I actually did this when I was younger and shyer, I was talking to a lady at a fast food place and while she was putting my money in the till I noticed she just had the most unexpectedly beautiful nails, and without thinking or realizing the words left my mouth I said "Wow I LOVE your nails!" I don't think I was even smiling lol but she got the biggest smile on her face and when she walked away she was so clearly pleased at the compliment, and I definitely had some secondhand joy haha it's always in the back of my mind to not hold back when I observe something good or beautiful about others

[@amigunadepero4005]

I'm shy but i'm gonna work on being brave.

[@ABeautifulEarthForOurChildren]

Fortune favors courage

[@sunshiineyt]

me too

[@reaverkai]

Its like a muscle, you train and gets easier :)

[@mikeexits]

Being someone with a bad history of extreme shyness and inferiority complex who's been doing this for years after more years of slow improvement, the "say one extra thing" tip really works wonders. I find it effortless now. I'm still shy around new people, especially within my friend circles or if they're women, but I've at least improved noticeably.

[@Thawhid]

​@@ABeautifulEarthForOurChildren Fortune favours the brave

[@gabehcuodsuoitneterp203]

“That’ll be eight dollars… that’s an ugly shirt.” 😮😮

[@barakaprince8214]

Fr I'm like what the fuck is this 😂

[@bunnym5617]

Lol 😂

[@bunnym5617]

I would actually laugh though because it’s absurdly rude but that’s just me

[@Tom-cl1gl]

sigma

[@brine1]

😮😮😮

[@Ben-fx8lg]

Biggest thing. Don’t mumble or do the weak trail off while speaking.. Say what you mean, and mean what you say

[@heyoo.-.360]

such a problem for me in the middle of a sentence i think of what im saying is stupid and don’t finish or just stop if i stutter

[@CRIZ9924]

Oh this happens to me quiet often when someone doesn't understand what I mean when I say what I actually meant my voice starts to feel heavy then I pause for a second

[@JulianY2K12]

If I said what I actually mean people would not like it, trust me.

[@baviation1872]

I’ve been working on this and I’ve actually noticed myself speaking louder now. I didn’t really plan on doing that, I think I’m a little more confident now

[@zahrtalbilsan]

@@heyoo.-.360Wanna cry that happens to me too, and the worse is that sometimes I feel like I’m not sure about the word cuz I'm still learning

[@pschulze]

One thing I love about my daughter who is 10 and shy is she has on her own started doing this. Everywhere we go she drops a compliment to the people at checkout counters and I can tell it brightens their day. I make sure to let her know how proud I am of her and have been trying to do the same myself. Sometimes compliments come off differently from a 44 year old man than a 10 year old girl though.

[@mikeexits]

Yeah especially with the double standards nowadays against men. But you're doing great, I'm proud of YOU, stranger :)

[@chrism869]

you have to push yourself, if you express yourself more, pepole are gonna like you and know you better

[@solomon9507]

if that's the case you are doing to push yourself then stop it icl

[@comforth3898]

Or they might hate/dislike you. I think it depends on what you're into and whether you can relate to the people you're speaking with.

[@memastarful]

Thank you for this video. I'm actually in person very very shy and tend to be on the quiet reserved side. However, I find communication online easier.

[@tojumiladipo4698]

Yeah because you don’t actually have to deal with people online.

[@splanky_]

i don't know but this is just me. I'm only confident talking to people online. offline i stay mute cos I'm kinda shy and nervous

[@kossibwaya]

​@@splanky_ Bro I have the same problem ngl

[@JShawnPaul]

I think most people think that I am standoffish and don’t like them, or I am angry. It’s none of that. I am just very shy and plus I don’t know how to talk to people.

[@U4ia28]

That’s actually an amazing piece of advice tbh.

[@r011ing_thunder6]

Then fucking do it 🎉

[@brine1]

What is it

[@roeen.]

​@@brine1Say one extra sentence than what you would normally say

[@MrJamesdryable]

There's being shy, and then there's also just me not wanting to talk to you.

[@OfficialEK17]

Me 😂

[@BubacarrJammeh-px9fl]

😂😂😂😂 same here.

[@sahilingale3280]

Fr

[@chelseafc8610]

Facts but people say youre shy

[@jwill5892]

The problem is saying "one extra thing" can start a conversation you're not ready for

[@showspotter]

problem though is some guys has been single theyre whole life, were always picked last in school, have barely or no friends, and theyre expected to think theyre valuable to other people when real life experience has showed them virtually no one outside of mom and dad values them.

[@JoeyG-o8r]

Study Christianity my friend. You are valuable because you are created in the image of God. I can go into more detail if you want, it's not as crazy as it sounds..

[@splanky_]

story of my life😢

[@chelseafc8610]

​@@JoeyG-o8rno mate islam❤

[@comforth3898]

​@@JoeyG-o8r Well what if you don't subscribe to any religion? What then?

[@JoeyG-o8r]

@@comforth3898 Then the culture gets to define your value during your life on earth, and when you die you'll have to give an account of yourself before God based on HIS standards anyway...so you're in a lose-lose situation.

[@jakegoldberg6700]

I really like the advice to talk until u reach a period. I feel it’s really important as it helps even conversation on both sides and gives both side’s confidence and enjoyment in what they’re discussing!

[@stephenhughes5156]

This is useful advice, but I think it makes it more complicated than it needs to be. The vast majority of us know how to have a conversation, it's just the anxiety that gets in the way for those of us considered 'shy'. The best way to get over that anxiety is simply through starting lots of conversations. After all, that's generally the hardest part. A good way to do that, particularly if you're just starting out, is asking people for the time or for directions. Sounds simple, but if you truly have social anxiety it can be absolutely terrifying. Then, as you grow more confident, you can start adding to that and building a longer conversation. Point is, its more about just taking action rather than mind- fucking yourself with all these different techniques ie 'ok, now I need to talk about that magazine, ok make sure we are speaking from the chest, ok now smile' lol.

[@ensco7]

I know this comment is over a year old, but I just have to say this: Asking for directions or for the time will always look weird in this day and age, at least if younger folks ask that. Everbody's got a cell phone and/or a smart watch. "He doesn't have any of that stuff? Huh, weird." I could obviously just don't wear any watch and leave the phone at home, but then it won't be genuine. And I hate lying on top of that.

[@EmunBanda]

So true! Even as we know recognize that other people have value, we should also always remember that we too, matter and are important!

[@nichtsistkostenlos6565]

This is great advice because I have always had this problem where injecting myself into a conversation is hard due to this irrational fear of heavy consequences from some inane comment. Once I've successfully overcome the initial hurdle of just saying something, I can converse quite easily.

[@nicflairdrip]

Yeah breaking the ice is hard

[@randr302]

As a mom to an amazing son, I am thankful for your shows EMPOWERING men. It's not easy ladies.regardless of so many opinions.

[@Nande663]

I think this is good advice. Severe shyness has ALWAYS been a struggle of mine. It has culminated in me either losing or unable to develop friendships. It's just one of many things that bothers me, more especially now that I'm approaching adulthood. HOW THE HECK WILL I MANAGE TO FACE THE REAL WORLD LIKE THIS???!!!

[@typhomytho5177]

I need this. Confidence is something I struggle with and I often let people speak over me. I’m trying to change now though!

[@theprodigalson4003]

I love hearing u explain and realsiing I figured this out alone without a father to teach me

[@drewg2676]

Nice. I agree. I like your hair

[@IsaiahDC]

Underrated comment

[@Godisgood137]

@@IsaiahDC agreed

[@stephenhughes5156]

Black americano please. Simpsons is my favourite show.

[@jamescoay]

Chris you need to put these clips on a clips KZbin page

[@KyreynaRamirez-Relleno-ct8tw]

Thank you! I will try this

[@nikitaachhra-y9n]

He’s absolutely on point

[@kittens3029]

This is a great tip. Speaking your mind

[@mione12gft71]

Thanks

[@dandc928]

I loved that advice

[@infinity1726]

Tele callers or customer service is also a great place to practice. But there's no direct interaction there. It's limited but still you can practice

[@mh-do3pe]

That'll be $5.92, whoa those knockers could feed an entire African village.

[@sophw_e]

Thankyou!

[@WillWinterz]

Wow I really needed to hear this.

[@Refr619]

I only get shy when i talk to someone im attracted to.

[@zahrtalbilsan]

Me too 💔😣

[@blackandwhitetube]

All people when online don't seem to have a problem not only with one extra sentence, but with absolutely spilling our guts even when we know it's a load of 💩.... tip for shyness, pretend you're in the comments section!

[@SkylarStJohn-mo4yi]

So true. If I talked like how I did online, I would be a social mf butterfly!

[@kaylaskingdom3693]

Everyone always tells me to be more assertive and talk more

[@tsf7211]

This is great advice!

[@POPDATA]

I’m SOOOO bad at this like for example when I go to the men’s bathroom and there’s a guy washing his hands and we share the double sink space I feel like I need to say something besides “hi” but nothing ever comes to my mind, my social anxiety and body dysmorphia and inferiority complex blocks everything and I feel guilty after not saying something else…

[@andrewtaylor6571]

I get ya. In that situation I usually always say I cant wait to get this week of work over me. It could start a good owl rant sometimes lol

[@POPDATA]

@@andrewtaylor6571 well we are not alone

[@moneymakinmitch8130]

do y’all share urinals too

[@splanky_]

this is so me. I'm always plain with my replies. like even if it's a girl i like, i just try to be formal cos i can't express my self due to how nervous i get at that point. when i get home i feel bad that i couldn't hold a conversation with someone i actually like💔

[@evankaden657]

Yes

[@arshadramsunkar3435]

I think I need a therapist, every time I go out somewhere to the mall or something with my family, I get extremely nervous and then I don’t feel like talking to anyone.

[@rosarichter4687]

what if they are actually not interested in what we have to say?

[@fluffystuff]

Dont just ramble on whatever that comes into your mind. The thing you want to say, say it confidently and loudly. Do not worry about what other people think about you.

[@buddy05]

Nice man you're tip is good I think it will help thank you :)

[@happygood10]

Excellent ❤

[@thewrastler]

Good ideas

[@amieezhong7890]

Most of my shyness comes from the lack of self confidence

[@ZJStrudwick]

Silence is golden. Why say anything that doesn't need to be said?

[@umchileanywaysso]

Bro is spitting gems

[@axelthefirefist2797]

Stop trying to be perfect. That's it

[@JulianY2K12]

Women expect perfection. If you're at all shy or unsure as a man then you're basically nothing. Gotta have that fake ego to show how "confident" you are lol

[@keishas6162]

I use to be like this. Well I am like this sometimes, but I started speaking up for myself ever since I went to college and got a roommate. And then life showed me just really horrible people can be. Then now, I just say exactly what I am thinking 🤔. It's like I think it and then I say it. Then sometimes I say something, knowing I very well mean well, but it's not until after I've said it that I realized it could be offensive. That's bad for marketing. Yet, when people know me and they ask me what I think about something, I always have to warn them by saying, " Are you sure you want my opinion, because you might not like what I am going to say"? And they still want to know. Because they know I am not going to lie. I don't care who they are. I might apologize for coming across offensive but I won't take back my words, because I was telling them the truth. Feed back is data. If no one tells me something I got wrong how can I fix it? I'm a fan of self improvement. That's how I ended up here. I commented something, that I regretted because I realized it could be hurtful to someone I would never want to hurt, but I can clearly see their pain. So I deleted my comment, and wondered if I should hone in on my honesty. I mean none of these people know me, nor did they asked for my opinion or my help, so why did I comment 🤔. I should just mind my business and scroll on pass. I probably should have just said a prayer for them and let God handle it. smh..

[@splanky_]

i get so tensed and nervous when a stranger talks to me, most especially if it's a girl i that i admire, I'm always plain with my replies. like even if it's a girl i like, i just try to be formal cos i can't express my self due to how nervous i get at that point, then i get home regretting not expressing myself when i had the chance to

[@pinklucie123]

Helpful

[@waenara7364]

I often times don't end my sentences because I have a feeling the other persons already knows what I'm trying to say (or is not following at all) so comoletung the sentence would be useless and i feel bad. Usually they are confused and ask me what I meant, thats when I feel weird...

[@eddieyutub]

Thank you. I think it's because sometimes my sentences are too long or I have too many things to say even though they are cohesive but people cut me off instead. And then they say that I cut them off. So nowadays I learn to listen but I do have to write down what I originally wanted to say

[@FirstWordsEnglish1]

It’s same think

[@sarasounds2389]

This is good.

[@joshy0369]

Agreed 👍

[@GOOBERINO69]

"That will be 5.92" Alright. My ass is ichy

[@Alex-ll4xm]

Brilliant

[@Vico-Harry]

I dont know what it is but something happend to me in past 1 1/2 months either when I met my family again or when a older guy at a party to let gobof it and just dance, no one is looking at you, or they too drunk to whatever so I endet up in innercircel of the floor and met few nice people. But anyway now im much more outgoing and smile and laugh way more abd intense like a totally diffrent person (maybe a little excessive) Im much happier now)

[@Studypharmaa]

👍nice tips

[@fuzbeatboxern5714]

When you talk just don't think. Have a flow state

[@jureturalija8055]

Can someone help me to find the whole episode of this podcast? I cant find the name of this guy 😂

[@jureturalija8055]

Found it! Its Charile Houpert.

[@hamala7437]

a lot of explosive vocabs in this short vid !!!!!

[@yannik1679]

When people start cutting me of I have no problem to stop talking as they clearly don't value what I got to say more importantly I remember them so I can avoid them after.

[@Smoneey]

I do find it funny how all the advice people seem to have in this area boil down to lowering your standards

[@mishasuki]

Waiting tables and speech class helped me get over my shyness

[@jojosoni]

all my family members and friends just cuts me off, so i just go silent and don't say anything in the conversation

[@soniczforever5470]

I do that where I live im verbally abused I'm now starving myself and in anorexia relapse.

[@algmslaaaaaa]

The problem is when you don't have enough social skills. Sometimes the filter is there for a reason, so you don't say bullshit. I tried to stop filtering my conversations and it went very wrong

[@Okokok331]

A trick I learnt is to not go into conversations with the mindset that you’re shy and awkward, that will just make it worse. You need to keep telling your brain that you are a confident person and eventually you will be able to talk more naturally Plus, the reason you are saying the wrong things is because you are too focused on what the other person is probably thinking whilst you’re talking. Once you get past that barrier, you wont say dumb things

[@ang3l73]

This happens when I see new ppl

[@xShr00msx]

Doing this makes me feel like a parent every time I’m talking to my adhd friends 😂

[@brayan7659]

The end 😭

[@rhysdyson2880]

“They say it’s 5.95 and you give them your thing.” 👀’

[@xeuoe1249]

Plz explain it more brief! I didn't understand what he meant to say

[@jaseman]

I've always been advised to shut the F up. I've found it to be very good advice.

[@joedavis4150]

.. we learn this shyness in public school where, for 12 years, we are punished for trying to interact with others. Our agency and communion is stolen.

[@stephenhughes5156]

A lot of it has to do with your natural personality.

[@योगिताकेशवानी]

Nice

[@jessebeahm348]

You can't fake it

[@Lili-sj7go]

Everything I say feels so awkwardly worded and forced I'm drowning.

[@Shonen88_Champion]

Me too 😭

[@stefanoskoursaris2796]

Who is this guest?

[@emeraldchat]

With the idea of "saying 1 more sentence" can it be concluded that we should not avoid small talk when starting a conversation with someone new?

[@okaydude7354]

Tried this, now I am stuck with a lady and a little thing running around me

[@jaimereynolds258]

I just get through it, while I scream on the inside 😂

[@ArtFreak71]

I always feel like if i say something the other person will just say "no one cares" or "who asked??" Or "want a cookie" id literally cry

[@crossdressingthug3443]

I dont talk a lot because the things in my mind are "inappropriate" for the common man and it will offend them

[@C.H.K.N_tenders]

I wish more people were saying that to me, im literally so shy 😭😭😭😭

[@lindhe]

"Do not let someone cut you off until you hit a period" - easier said than done as a man.

[@Shonen88_Champion]

Even as a woman 😂

[@DanielMccounaghy]

I'm not shy,I'm scared.

[@Littlems.Imperfect6]

I am vary shy around people that are not my best friends

[@meir231]

Anyone got the episode number?

[@Its_WillyWonka]

I am 99% sure that I have autism, but I also have to have something else because I literally say 50 words at most when I’m at school every day

[@jakehands]

I just don’t like talking much especially when I’m in a taxi.

[@rogermoore3991]

Sometimes with people though nothing is acceptable to say 😂

[@Kayla-m3l2w]

do you know how to listen to people

[@abdullahahmad9300]

The only time I'm confident is On KZbin comments I can be myself on KZbin comments

[@evan.5967]

Who is this man speaking

[@formal_club]

❤

[@snehalkrishnan618]

I’ve just given up. If a woman wants to be with me she’ll come up to me, I’m sick of this shit.

[@eta_carithebrightlord3396]

Me I only talk to people in socially appropriate situations

[@jarednavas8148]

I don’t understand 🤙🏽