How to stop hating yourself and your life

[@shainaarun847]

1) write it down 2) take control of your mind 3) solution based thinking 4) accountability

[@MissTeaq]

TYSM!!! I rewound this three times trying to figure out what #1 was!!! 😩😆😃😉

[@FictionHubZA]

Thanks for the summary. Imma head out now.

[@cartersmom0629]

One time I actually did write out everything I hated about my life and then put it away and I forgot about it. I found it and showed it to my boyfriend. He was like "wow, that was dark." I'm so glad I dont feel that way anymore. I was in a very dark place but so much has improved in my life.

[@PennyTovar]

it helps a lot to write it out!

[@cartersmom0629]

@@PennyTovar It really helped me.

[@liveuser8527]

​@@PennyTovar wan become my girlfriend?

[@livinlife123]

@@liveuser8527 she's married tf?

[@liveuser8527]

@@livinlife123 huh?

[@anilover10]

The struggle of having low self-esteem because of self depreciating jokes because you're scared of what would happen if you let yourself have a big ego so you decide you should humble yourself by reminding yourself why you suck 🙃

[@1nicolethebest]

Wow this is me

[@charmmesilly1000]

Penny it's kinda crazy how you dropped this right when I needed it. I have been TRYING to enter my era of self love but damn it feels like such a foreign concept since I've always been my biggest hater. Thank you for this chica. AND FOR THE RECORD, I loved your color-block fashion era. You make everything look cool i swear 😤❤

[@ayoolukoga9829]

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalm 139:14

[@zoyafatima5987]

All I wanna have is a stable emotional state of being! 😭😭

[@abbas22mohammed]

Why specifically emotional

[@Gemini053]

@@abbas22mohammed Because your emotional affects your mental and your mental affects your physical and your physical can die if you don’t take care of all areas of your body

[@LP-fz5xm]

Hello Penny, I stopped negative self talk this year. I realized I would never talk to anyone else or call anyone the things I found myself telling myself. I also wrote down my feelings about bad things that happened to me and it truly is “cleansing”. You’re an amazing human ❤

[@Somethin_hazel]

Moral Of the Story, stop hating yourself,start loving yourself change your way of thinking ☮️💗

[@ayoolukoga9829]

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalm 139:14

[@DearAliya]

Kids be saying “Watch this” then do a jumping spin wasting my damn time

[@PennyTovar]

this literally made me scream laugh

[@DearAliya]

@@PennyTovar I can't take credit for it honestly, I saw it on Twitter and it also had me screaming

[@maridi5328]

Damn perfect timing 😭 I’m going through it at the moment. Becoming a CNA has been damaging my mental health more. I never have time for myself and then in turn I keep hating on myself cause I’m not taking care of my self :( Thank you Penny ❤

[@chickenlittle4014]

I struggle with self love and worth I hate parts of my body that it’s so hard to change the way I see idk why

[@ellieloll3791]

Yes, I used to hate myself too..but now I got 2 kids that I love more than anything and they teach me to be confident and to be strong so that I can help raise them 🥰❤️

[@Kz_soupz01]

It's so crazy how I really needed this words. I have hated myself since High school and have realized I really want to change. Thank you penny for your great advice! It's going to help me and it will help others as well ♡

[@MV-eh3xf]

Needed this….been mentally stressed as of late…been working from home since like forever….so no normal commute no interactions with people and society on a daily basis also being single in nyc and living by myself is excruciatingly lonely I try to keep myself happy/entertained doing things that make me smile/laugh or feel comfortable but being lonely and alone is rough days go by then weeks to months it’s like time is moving so fast….difficult to deal with as a whole but this was definitely needed for a positive morale boost and I thank you so much Penny 🙏🏽💛

[@emilyacosta3911]

I’m a freshman in college, you really made my day and thank you for your advice. I will take your advice into consideration. The thing you went through is something I have been experiencing almost my whole life. I really needed this and thank you once again.❤❤❤❤

[@joscelineguerra2080]

I recently came across a video that talked about Breakdowns and their necessity. We get caught up in the routine which eventually boils up to a massive breakdown that can finally lead to true growth. Keep growing butterflies!🦋

[@shaylaatiles]

Goddamn, this came at the best time. I think I keep postponing doing this self reflection because I know it’s gonna be hard. But it’s necessary. Thank you Penny!

[@Chloe_x0]

Whenever I start self deprecating, I try to assess if I’ve taken time for myself. I found that if I wasn’t being a friend to myself/treating myself how I would treat someone I love, I would be more inclined to begin talking negatively toward myself. & Honestly, no matter how successful you are at your job, passion etc. if you don’t have a loving relationship with yourself, you will always feel like you’re falling short. Nothing will ever feel like enough, until you begin celebrating the small wins and forgiving your mistakes 💚💚💚 We are all worthy of an abundant life, I pray we all continue striving toward a better version of ourselves.

[@rubeeverno9062]

I feel this😅 self depreciation is my go to for a lot of situations lol I do have ways id like to change and make myself happier but I keep giving myself excuses not to right now, saying its not the right time or money etc.

[@chloejohnson5001]

penny!! i’ve been watching you for so many years now.. from my teenage years to my adult years. watching your growth has definitely encouraged me to focus on my own. 😊 thank you!!

[@taniaa.2454]

Wow. I hadn’t watched your videos in a good minute but today of all days when I had an emotional breakdown earlier, this video popped up right before bed. The universe is talking to me. Thank you Penny the messenger 🫶🏻

[@unofficially_astryd]

thank u penny. i’ve been feeling numb for months. i hope i can eventually teach myself how to feel alive again :)

[@cilla2f938]

This was nice to see. I’ve been dealing with post party depression and while my issues are different, a lot of this resonates.

[@fatimadelatorre7166]

This is amazing, Penny. I think many of us can relate, but it is easy to find ourselves feeling alone during the process. We need more voices like yours to remind us that we’re not ❤️ Thank you!

[@amixeblu]

Penny, I was like you. Dressed like a madwoman late teens, early 20s (all black, combat boots, tight leggings etc.), and was not liking myself a whole lot. Then suddenly I started dressing like a woman, things evolved, I changed, and became more positive. I then had a car wreck age 23 and it all spiraled again. I am 50 now with a life-long disability (both legs and arms to an extent). It took a lot of effort for me to be even keeled. IMHO? It's part and parcel of growing up, aging, maturing, but if you need help, I'm glad it's out there! I have CRPS, complex regional pain syndrome and they did not diagnose me nor "believe" the pain I was in so I have had enough of psychology, just my POV. I had to struggle through it on my own because I was fighting to be heard; took almost 3 years to get diagnosed & treated (by then? too late) and so yeah; there's that. I am glad you got help, though. Good for you, girlfriend! :)

[@Lwoods1717]

You're very inspiring! Thank you for your comment.

[@amixeblu]

@@Lwoods1717 Thank you for saying that to me; much appreciated!

[@daughterofzion2146]

Omg, how i needed this today and here you are. I hope that I can some day be for someone else what u were for me today. God bless🙏

[@Chandranamaste]

Penny! I wanna tell you one thing: thank you so much for existing! ❤ I grew up hating myself all my life & became anorexic and bulimic and after a codependent relationship (which I ended up being dumped) I was extremely depressed and blaming myself and hating myself even more, but your videos about self love and hearing your story just made feel I am not alone! I am a curly haired girl (considering it my biggest curse) and started watching you because of your hair, but now I love watching you for who you are ❤️ I do ballet and workout plus eating healthier and I love my curls, my light tan skin and I’m grateful for your advices and for you! 😍 I’m 29 and I am feeling at peace with myself a little more and no worries, I have my fingers like that! I have Ehlers Danlos and thats why I’m so hypermobile. Whenever I have these downs, I watch your videos and it works. You’re my happy and safe place ❤ from a Latina to another, te amo mucho mi reinota, que siempre seas feliz, muchos abrazos al corazón para ti y para Martin 💝🌺♥️

[@shareiceclick]

I really needed this guide today. I’ve really been down on myself lately and even therapy hasn’t really been helping. I’m going to try this and hope it helps, even if it’s the slightest bit. Thank you for being you 🖤🖤

[@angievernau1614]

Penny I can’t love this video enough!❤️ I’m two years into my fitness journey and every strategy you suggest I’ve struggle through. Thank you for giving solid strategies to turn the self hate into self love!

[@janetramirez5674]

ILY!! I've been watching you for years now and I feel like I've watched you change and grow so much!! You don't know me but I am so proud of you for everything you have accomplished. Seeing that you graduated and you becoming a nurse has motivated me to keep pushing in school. I will be in my second semester of nursing school starting January. You are such an inspiration to me!!! Thank you for this positive self talk and all the doodoo caca jokes you make!! 💕

[@sodasunnnyshine2482]

Hey thanks for making this a safe space, and sharing very realistic and authentic vibe with us. You are so appreciated for this. You are in good company with people who struggle in the same ways, and you have encouraged, and even perhaps inspired me to do some soul searching and make my own lists of cause and effects for my mental state. Lots of love to you!!

[@morgan5923]

I love self deprecating humor and respect seeing they in other people; it shows that they’re human. On the other hand, it can be unhealthy. I’m pretty sure I fall into that latter category, and it helps me to see this video. Thank you.

[@ayoolukoga9829]

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalm 139:14

[@katymelo9202]

Thank you, God bless you:)

[@loveneoperana9938]

I’m currently binge watching your videos because I just find your content so relatable! I know it’s cheesy, but I’ve been feeling all those feelings you’ve described and I’m really trying to push myself mentally and physically to just DO more. I’ve gotten into the habit of sleeping too much and then feeling over tired and lethargic, it just became a black hole. It’s Autumn which is my favorite season, I’m in my last semester of my degree, and I have a co-op/job interview which is stressful but I think motivating me more. Anyways just wanted to say I appreciate your content so so much and your vulnerability that you share with us online. Much love from this moody lil Filipino girl in Canada🇵🇭🇨🇦✌🏽💖

[@ozbornn3]

11:07 I really needed this, the whole video was beautifully written but I think the ending was perfect. We just need to remember, we deserve a good fighting chance and that good things are worth fighting for.❤️ Much love Penny, I always have enjoyed these good videos you make

[@jazzz_hands]

Thank you for being real with us. Much Love Penny ❤️

[@xchrysantha]

I just love you. I've been watching your videos for YEARS, and every video I've seen has brought me with new inspiration and a different way of looking at things - while laughing my A** off XD It is so, so important the points you're making about how self-hate is something we have to actively unlearn and be responsible for our own uhappiness. It's such a difficult process, not only because we then feel bad about "Oh so basically it's my fault and I did this to myself" (spoiler alert: IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT, you are just human and your brain is designed to create shortcuts to forward your survival, not your happiness); but also because when you don't know what being happy or loving yourself looks like, you're left feeling stuck like "How do I EVEN start, where do I go, what do I do, how do I find what I don't know what I'm looking for." So thank you so much for sharing this video. I have finally hit a point in my life where I've learned self love (which is not the gross, mushy feeling I thought it was, but instead is just a sense of internal integration and balance), and I resonated with sooo much of what you stated in this video (especially about the frijoles con arroz - mijita guess what I'm making TONIGHT🤣). Anyway, thank you again for all of your incredibly vulnerable and powerful sharing - it's your kind of work that makes the rest of us feel that it's okay to be human.

[@AdrianasWonderland]

woah I love you. the way you talk, the way you think and the way you think. i relate to you so much, thank you for the video

[@kita3256]

8:25 love this! I’m a Sabbath School teacher at my church and it has improved my mental health! I teach little kids and it’s so fulfilling!!!

[@arbitrarylib]

HI, I need this so much. I am doing my best to move towards a healthy self esteem after dealing with bullying for so long.

[@abbas22mohammed]

Bullying of you ? Why?

[@williamjones6276]

More often than not, the biggest and greatest enemy we all face is lying right between our ears🤯🧠 Our own thinking can have us hating our complexions, size, shape, etc., everything about who and what we are as a person. With this kind of thinking there's no need for society to stigmatize us because some of us are doing a damn good job of doing that to ourselves. So now how do we disengage from the poison of "self hate?" 🤔 Well the first step is to constantly celebrate our own uniqueness. Ms. Tovar nobody can beat you at being YOU no matter how hard they try and that way of thinking alone is the first step at loving yourself regardless of what anyone or society thinks and this goes for anyone who just happens to be reading my comment. Sadly a lot of people get sidetracked trying to emulate and copy someone else instead of taking stock in who they are and appreciating and celebrating their own strengths, Life Lessons learned 📚and Wisdom gained💡on this journey we collectively call "Life."

[@NursingstudentJ]

Hi Penny, I Jessica Walker got a 100/100 on my midterm on October 28, 2022, and the English 1, 28 is really 2 classes as one for the Fall semester.

[@Beemgee]

Ive watched your videos for many years, Penny, and Im heartbroken for you. This was me for many, many years. I learned that we “hate” ourselves because we are obsessed with ourselves. I regret all the time I spent caught up in that self love and self improvement culture that just made the hate stronger. The reality is that you wont stop “hating” yourself until you forget yourself. Self forgetfulness frees you from the prison that is self hatred.

[@Jennyfleur6]

I came back to this video after a year… thank you ❤

[@nikakozar832]

wow i really needed to hear this. i had the shittiest day and was trying to think of what i can do to make myself feel better and not lose myself in dark thoughts. thank you this is quality content

[@yahiduhh]

I miss your videos, penny!! Always insightful and inspiring ❣️ I hope you’re doing well

[@reyrae9786]

I love you and the way you put things ❤Than you for sharing this with us. Writing is great method of getting things out of your head, it helps to clear your mind.

[@perlalagarde4076]

Hi penny, thank you for this video. I have been going thru a lot of what you said and as a freshman in college, I really have been feeling a downward spiral. I’ve realized that these feelings aren’t going to fade away and I’ve finally mustered the courage to talk to a counselor. I have been planning to write everything down and I hope to follow the steps you mentioned bc I am so tired of feeling negative towards myself. Thank you for being real and honest ❤

[@kyleedubeau4655]

I’m so glad you posted this, I really needed this advice ❤

[@cris_here]

This is so real! We all have a part of ourselves we don't like that can get out of hand when we don't keep in check. Thank you Penny 🤍

[@a.watching5299]

Omg I'm first hhh.. I'm 30, and finally I'm learning to love and accept myself it's not easy, and I can't do it 24h but it's getting better.. Also it doesn't mean staying the same and not improving.. Thank you, you're inspiring as always ❤️🤘

[@idgee3774]

This video came at the perfect time. I’ve been trying to accept more responsibility for myself and build my mental toughness instead of believing that I am just a weak person. Love you Penny ❤️

[@allrightallrightallright1919]

You’re amazingly real, hilarious, helpful always and love your hair 🤗

[@tammybarnett1290]

You have beautiful energy! I don’t realize my darkness so much when I’m listening to you talk! Thank you, I will take your advice, I like the idea of writing out everything like that.

[@AnnRey18]

out of topic but i love that you're speaking more spanish in your videos ♥

[@svce2007]

That was such a meaningful video. I could resonate every point u mentioned. I had to go through this same feeling this past year and i must say, u nailed all the points. I wanted to watch more. Pl make another part of this topic.

[@ianii]

I wish we could irl friends. You are doing amazing. I'm proud of you. Hope you can continue to see the love and small things in life. :)

[@purpleluma4715]

You used to hate yourself? How could you hate yourself when you're so smart, witty, funny and beautiful! Seriously tho, I wish I was half the woman you are.

[@anabelpichardo6509]

I missed you Penny! Thank you so much for sharing this!

[@kristen1324]

Thank you for posting. I've been feeling like caca for the past few months. This reminds me I need to actively work on my mental health, which I really haven't been doing.

[@yerlingomez1594]

Penny, you have such great things to say. Don’t ever stop!

[@massielgonzalez3309]

OMG!! Can i save this video?!! I need to watch this every other day! I've been working lately with my esteem and realized I'm missing something and there are a couple of things you mentioned that opened my eyes!! Thank you so much for sharing your own experience with us!!

[@ayoolukoga9829]

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalm 139:14

[@Amnajabbar56]

Girl you have an amazing voice

[@ItsRidicuLiz]

Penny I love your videos ❤ it’s so helpful to hear someone talk about stuff like this from such a thoughtful perspective. Thank you so much for sharing

[@cesintheskywithdiamonds]

I was literally about to burst into tears towards the end of the video, but I held it in cuz I’m at work. Nonetheless, thank you, Penny. This was something I needed to hear and I appreciate your wholesome content. You’re an angel.

[@biankavcorniel1905]

Thank you so much for making honest videos touching on real mental health topics. It’s so helpful to hear others dealing with the same issues, working through it and coming out on the other side. You are inspiring.

[@danielapalomo7164]

I’m going through this exact moment in life and I really needed to hear that I need to make a change and that’s on me, not anyone else. I’m definitely joining a group for one of my hobbies or something like that. Anyhow, thank you for sharing this in the internet 🙏🏼

[@abbas22mohammed]

How did you find your group of hobbies

[@jxxxvii]

Very very very very long journey 😂 thank you girl you’re so real for this ❤

[@mandymanning4478]

I know this is an older video....but i needed this right now!!!

[@luckyDancer100]

Unrelated to the video but Penny’s style is cool as heck. Loving the shorter hair. Suits her perfectly 😊

[@groovygalaxies]

I appreciate your stoic honesty and concrete solutions.

[@brooke942]

Haven’t even started the video yet but this video came at the perfect time. You’re one of my favorite people to watch. 💞

[@spacequeenruby]

Thank you I needed to hear this 🙏 💛 you are so awesome and I hope you continue to give advice to us while you also enjoy your full potential 😊 😀

[@marimar5279]

Gracias por este video Penny! todo es muy cierto y a veces necesitamos escucharlo de otros

[@aimii-mf4qb]

omg, you don't know how much I needed that video 💕

[@meeezy]

i just saw one of your funny tik toks recently and for this video to appear was a sign of the universe which i needed to hear thank you mama

[@aimemaggie]

outsourcing happiness is the fastest way to create self-hatred period

[@Ayaamee20]

Thank you. In this point of my life, this is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you Penny.

[@cleocatra9324]

Hating yourself wont do you or anybody any good ever. Life might not be perfect but make it as good as it can be.

[@wheatstonebridge]

I hate myself so much. It's unreal.

[@anamaria94088]

Love this video ❤ I missed you . This year has been so hard and my mental health was not so good.

[@daniellerrae]

Friggin loved this Penny! Thank you for the beautiful message and reminder. Ps. Plz plz share with us what books you’ve been reading! ❤

[@calipigeon]

I love you so much ❤ I get the self hatred and also hope you feel the love, you’re a beautiful human and I so enjoy seeing you and hearing you speak 🥰

[@jaecarter503]

Your one of a kind, your so beautiful! 💕

[@kristenroberts9297]

Penny this is exactly what I needed. Your soul is shining so bright!!

[@sprout_tea]

Penny thank you so much for this. It means so much to hear this at the right time. I really hope things get better

[@alexandranielsen8430]

This is really well done, so down to earth and helpful. Thank you!

[@mcut7580]

No lie, this video was for me… And it looks like a lot of other people too. Thank you so much.

[@alicekat11]

Love you Penny 💗 started watching for the hair tips and stayed for who you are✌️😽

[@Otakusauce]

Wow Penny you have no idea how much I love your videos! Thank you for sharing this! 💖

[@befabulux101]

Girl, I don’t mind working with you for the entire week! 😂 your sense of humor is a bomb! Very motivating, although I don’t understand some of the language but I love the sound of it! 😂😂

[@Kristinemay29]

This is exactly what I needed. Thank you!

[@hkcameras]

Proud of you 💜 it's been great to see your journey :)

[@sfmmmo7599]

Girl, THANK YOU SO MUCH for this video!!

[@cristinamunoz6204]

God bless you all

[@lolafay2441]

Thank you so much, this actually helped a lot and I feel like this video reached me at the exact moment in my life when I needed it the most 💜

[@sophielovexo]

my god how I needed this video…

[@mahoraga1528]

First ill self improve to make my self less hateable THEN i will stop hating myself

[@amandacunneff6833]

Girl I saw this video right when i needed it thank you so much!!!

[@jt-For_me]

Thank you for sharing this

[@ryanmaxwell6442]

thank you so much for this