How to Stop Martial Arts Grooming and Cults w/

Part 1: • UFC Fighters Being Sex...
Rob from ‪@McDojoLife‬ and I discuss how to stop martial artists from grooming children and forming manipulative cults.
My Twitter: / armchairviolenc

[@ChristopherCarpenter]

I love the speech for the kids class. The saying "I will teach you how to do it, but your parents will teach you when do it" resonates with me. I think I will have to start explicitly saying it like that in the kids classes I run. It gives the parents some agency and encourages discussion outside of class.

[@CoASoFi]

Yeah I love it. Going to be stealing it and doing my own version of his speech.

[@garynaccarato4606]

Yeah the "when" thing is sort of a moral issue and it's not really your job as an instructor to teach anyone's kids about moral issues or to be a preacher your main job is to teach them martial arts and to give them something potentially better and fun to do with there time then to either sit around at home, or joining gangs,commiting crimes and breaking the law.

[@McDojoLife]

Truly glad you wanted to have this conversation and hope it helps shine a light

[@Pikepaw]

So the realization hit in the earlier videos you did with Rob about McDojo cults, but it still applies here. For years I have joked with my instructors that our Muay Thai school feels a bit like recruiting for a cult when I get excited telling people about it. Interesting how close I was after I heard Rob’s statement that the only difference is the intention of the leader. I do believe my instructors are well intentioned and definitely work to be just people. But it is helpful to have this knowledge so I keep my eyes open to try to see if things go off course.

[@KennyKenKin]

As an assistant coach for kids BJJ and Muay Thai (ages 5-12), this hit me like a ton of bricks. After watching the last video I was surprised by how often this might be happening. I talked about it with the other coaches and some of my fellow students in the adult classes. We all agreed that it was obviously wrong but outside of never allowing any of that shit in our gym, we were at a lost as of what to do in a preventative measure. Either way, conversation is the 1st step. Good job bringing it up.

[@wyattmiller800]

I've worked in kids camps and after school programs. In addition to background checks a standard policy for child care is to ALWAYS have two adults within eyeshot of each other when kids are present. If you follow that policy exactly, it really cuts down on the opportunities for sexual abuse and grooming.

[@Lionheart_Kickboxing]

I only teach adults these days as we don't have a kids striking program. Alot of my traditional students who transferred in to learn kickboxing come in with tendencies to try and put me on a pedestal like their old dojo. I make it a point to fuss at them when they try to call me sensei or anything like that. I tell them I only accept coach and barely that call me by my first name we are all adults here. I make it a point to invite them out and go have drinks or bbq once in a while. I encourage them to come lift with me when I do my lifting routine. Really anything we can do together to put us on the same level and get them to realize I'm just a dude who spent alot of time in martial arts. I am here to provide a service. For our kids grappling program we aggressively insist parents come as much as possible and make sure they know there are risks in the martial arts community with pedo's and stuff. Our kids summer camp program has 2 instructors on site at all time and we make sure all the activities are in the open and engaging for the kids. We don't have idle time except lunch for the kids and nobody runs the activities alone for the whole summer camp

[@overtyrantfear]

I have a small talk to all the parents of my students, where I basically talk about how shitty alot of people in Combat sports are, my hope is that it will cause the parents to keep an eye out. Also as I come from a daycare background, ALWAYS 2 instructors per kid. No kid is ever alone with 1 instructor, wish there were some things like that that the state or federal level would require of martial art facilities

[@iitim2152]

You can be "in love" whatever that means with a minor... It means there is something wrong with you and you need to be mature enough to deny that impulse and distance yourself from the kid, probably kids in general... That's the same advice I give married men who become attracted to someone, not their wife. *Edit- you shouldn't drink around kids, especially ones of the opposite sex.

[@VictorIsSaved]

This is a serious problem that needs to be braught to the public's attention, they put a bad name to Martial Arts in general

[@mclarenemmonsmma4968]

I think the biggest problem stopping everyone from having this conversation is because it's kind of a taboo subject. Any conversation involving relations of any kind tends to make people very uncomfortable. Hopefully we can push past that to solve this. Sorry if my comment comes out hard to read. Wanted to make sure it doesn't get censored by KZbin

[@TheGrave10der]

I see your point, but it's absolutely necessary to talk about it.

[@CombatSelfDefense]

Really poignant, important stuff. Great work, Jake.

[@tomeralper2827]

That was such an important video, waiting for part 3!

[@simoneriksson8329]

Very important discussion!

[@seanthekook5966]

One of the few lessons I remember from the Marines is that it is way easier to keep it than take it. Weapons, vehicles, anything really.

[@techniquejiujitsu8832]

The hierarchical system that most martial arts operate by has much to do with this. Nobody questions “the professor”, it’s a slippery slope to all sorts of horrible stuff.

[@DavidMurray1969]

In Australia the Working With Children Check (WWCC) is a prerequisite for anyone in child-related work - paid and voluntary.

[@demonderpz7937]

Absolute power doesn’t corrupt absolutely. Power corrupts weak people.

[@Flamewolf14]

I really wasn't aware of this problem and it is terrible that very few talk about it

[@Enlorand]

There is 0 certification/inspection/standardized education among what a martial arts instructor is. Can you hold mitts okay? Your an instructor Can you fuck people up? Your an instructor I'm going for an Exercise Physiology degree RN, and my last coach would constantly feel qualified to talk about how to improve cardio, and that 'Strength' is something you got. telling people they should be cutting X amount of weight or fighting at X weight class (Generally 20-30 lbs smaller then they were) "I've fought 7 times, I know what I'm talking about" No you dont, your a chimp who dropped outta highschool

[@moonlightpixie8976]

My ex has a star student who’s 14 years old and a 17 year old employee who I feel he’s covertly grooming. It’s hard to address it when they haven’t done anything that’s concrete evidence and I’ll easily be gaslit! I also feel like parents should be more aware and involved to see why they want to take them out to eat after a competition or a lengthy practice, without the parents there. We will go as a group with other people so it doesn’t look sus. I thought I was seeing things until after the relationship, his adult clients had told me his relationship with the 17 year old is a bit strange. I’m no longer with him and no longer go to his dojo, but they’ll still go to his class. I thought I was crazy and believing things at the time, but parents willingly hand their child over to someone who’s seemingly charming and safe to be with! But it’s the little things in between these sessions that are something to tune into but the parents aren’t there. He’s 34.

[@jacktraven9930]

Very based, very red-pilled

[@christianc.christian5025]

Lmao, there’s *nothing* red-pilled about this because it’s not imaginary bullshit about furniture stores or cults which consume a “drug” from the human brain that doesn’t even exist.

[@jacktraven9930]

@@christianc.christian5025 I just meant that the conversation was down to earth and spoken from a place of truth. But that is definitely an interesting point, thanks for the perspective!

[@maniblondelly]

I think these discussions would benefit a lot from speaking to more women in the martial arts world, you bet many if not most women in martial arts have at least experienced creepy teachers and classes if not worse

[@christianc.christian5025]

This is such a weirdly under-mentioned topic. I know that some other areas like movies, music and TV have had some light shined on them about grooming and sex-abuse, but it’s just so odd how some people can shout down a lot of inquiries into this… Especially because I’d imagine that a lot of the loud voices trying the hardest to shout down the topic are doing so for the *very obvious* reason(s).

[@jc-kj8yc]

The comparison to the entertainment industry is interesting, because there are different patterns. #MeToo hit the movie, music, comedy and sex work industry with full force, but there the abuse is done by promoters, directors, producers, etc. By people who hold the power, because they are the ones who dictate who gets paid (I'm still waiting for it to hit fight promotions. I wouldn't be surprised if some promoters forced athletes to do unspeakable things to get contracts). The problem in martial arts circles is closer to what happens in the Catholic church. Teachers/mentor figures abuse their power over minors. They hold the power, because they are the adults who are given control over the kids. It's a different issue and very hard to adress. Rob is 100% correct, that this issue should be discussed more and that abusers should get hunted out of the community and put into prison, but it requires a lot of vigilance and often courage from the victims to speak up. And first and foremost, if people actually get caught, the community shouldn't let them keep working. It's maddening that some of these guys still have running gyms!

[@demonderpz7937]

This shit needs more views

[@ChristopherCarpenter]

Bumped with a community post

[@lovelyswimmer1]

Also, female students of ALL ages need to be protected from predatory practitioners as well. I've been victimised and seen several women well above the legal age of consent get groomed.

[@ssjrose9641]

This has been going on in youth sports for ages. MA is no different.

[@CARLOSVLA5]

How about parents get more involved supervising their kids activities. You don't have to be there all the time, but at least stay for some of the classes. I would think as a parent you got to do your homework and do some research on the martial art school, maybe get some feed back from existing student parents to see if it's the right fit for their kids. After all you are investing your money in getting some good training for your kids and finding out that the school is a fraud or even worse that the instructor is a pedo mean you probably didn't do your homework.

[@DevilDogMartialArts-]

I think the issue is we need to educate parents. There isn't a lot I can do about other instructors when I don't know what they are doing. We need to share teach parents how to identify the signs of it and never leave their kids alone with the instructor. The truth is no one wants to really talk about it because they don't care as much because it's not exciting and fun, just like verbal de-escalation and situational awareness aren't fun so they are buzzwords only. It's why my least watched video is an educational video on grooming behaviors. kzbin.info/www/bejne/r3KqqWN8f7OMraM

[@memedemy3905]

3333 views in 3 months and his is the 33rd comment… we need to pump these numbers up!

[@utkuerdin6944]

Hey man! I really enjoy your videos. This is completely off-topic to this video, but could you do a video covering the various blocks used in Muay Thai/Kickboxing? I've had instructors tell me certain blocks aren't that useful such as the dutch block (Block with arm and put palm down perpendicular with elbow) however, I've never had a problem with this block in both smokers and in sparring. Is it that if you had no gloves it'd be easier to hurt your hand? Thank you

[@ArmchairViolence]

I've definitely seen that block taught commonly. Why do your instructors think it doesn't work? There's a ton of blocks that "can" work. More than anything, it depends on your stance, guard, and style. Almost any block can work as long as it's well incorporated into the rest of your game.

[@DaveElwoodCutter]

Its a perfectly fine block for most applications however in Muay Thai in Thailand kicks to arms still count so using the „Dutch block“ would still give your opponent points but that’s only in Thailand outside of Thailand even if fighting Muay Thai it counts as a block. Maybe that’s where the idea of it not working originated?

[@eddiecuevas5518]

This is so sad

[@nothenking4546]

this can never be popular topic, its like people talking about plastic surgery piece by piece, it sounds very brutual

[@kalebtuaeu6465]

Sounds like an American problem

[@user-rc8br5sw6j]

I think its more that we don't address problems like these openly in for example India. Often we talk the talk and sometimes legislation is passed that outlaws certain acts or protects children but in practice they are not enforced. America is a more open society.