How To Stop Wasting Time With The Wrong People

Hi Richard,
I've seen a few of your videos and messaged you before. While I could be wrong, you "seem" very much to have your sh*t together, but more the point - you seem to be open and impartial. With me, I rate impartiality the top of the tree, more than anything else I wanted to get your opinions on something, where I think I know what your stance will be, but I just wanted to be sure.
Everyone, absolutely everyone, has their own list of "deal breakers", or things they wish to avoid, when dating a potential partner. Sh*t, it can be absolutely anything from A-Z. Anything at all....
Do you like tennis?
What are your socio-political leanings?
Do you like hiking....in forests? (I f*cking love it).
Are you prepared to cook your partner breakfast in bed once a month?
Do you like....say..."Entrepreneurial-type fellas that possibly drive nice cars?"
You a smoker/non-smoker?
You like horror movies?
What about certain....err...."bedroom issues"?
Dry sense of humour? (Mine is like the Sahara Desert).
You don't believe in s*x before marriage?
Do you drink, or tee-totaller?
Do you like reading?
Do you have kids? Want more than you already have?
(Just conjuring up random stuff here)
The issues at hand can be as broad and diverse as the Earth is patient. But what I can absolutely swear by is that everyone (male, female, animal, vegetable, or mineral) has this list in their head, whether it conscious or subconscious. People that say they don't are lying through their teeth. Having said that, I've had a lot of partners over the duration, some good, some bad, and make no f*cking mistake I've learnt an absolute truckload of different things over the duration. At the moment, I am in absolutely no interest whatsoever in meeting anyone right now, and for a range of reasons, but what really screws my head around the twist is the when/how of trying to clear up deal breakers. It's not what the deal breakers actually are, no. Rather when (how long to wait) to go about getting the info re: these deal breakers? This is why I am contacting you.
I have spoken to a number of friends of mine, both male and female, about this issue. And do you think I can get clear, consistent answers on this? Not f*cking likely. Let me be crystal clear, in absolutely no way, shape, or form do I sit myself down at a first date, slam my first beer (or wine) down on the table, and immediately ask: "So, what's your opinion on issues 'A', 'B', and 'C'?" You couldn't get me to do that with all the Whiskey in Tennessee. Not a hope in Hell. In no way am I that foot-in-mouth. But oddly enough, quite a few women I've dated have absolutely no problems whatsoever in slamming down their lists of demands and requirements before you've even taken the first sip of your drink. Needless to say, these dates do not progress past stage 1. The issue is, with some things, it's easy to figure out where things are at (e.g. smoker/non-smoker), but other things are not quite so obvious - much more subtle. But what has me tearing my hair out is hitting a brick-wall-deal-breaker, several months into the relationship. That has me kicking myself and rolling my eyes back in disbelief, thinking: "Why did I waste my f*cking time?!?" In some cases, these women are great people, but just incompatible with me. In other cases, they are absolutely certifiable. There has to be some sort of guidelines about WHEN/HOW to go about getting the info you need....something between the first 5 minutes and several weeks later? Like I said above, when chatting with people I know, I can't get anything close to some consistent advice.
As I said, you really seem to have your sh*t together, which is why I'm asking you.
Thanks mate.

[@SilveryFoxster]

I have several non-negotiables, my main one is I will not entertain a woman who is financially insecure. The last thing I will be is some woman’s meal ticket.

[@greymadder2024]

I will not date an adult woman who lives with their mommy and daddy or even worse lives with their children because they can't pay their own bills. Kick that trash to the curb!

[@Turbochargedcat]

@@greymadder2024 imagine i dated a woman that lived with her ex husband and kid because she wouldnt wanna leave his house...she's an ex now.

[@stevenpavia3647]

Those are the only ones that want me lol

[@wisnudivayana355]

Bullshit. Women that still young and not finanncially ready is the best kind of women. She is soft, easly teached, and not bossy. I alerdy meet many career women. She is so bossy, egoistic, and selfcentered women. Dont suprised that many of them is feminist

[@roselovesmakeup]

Well if she is financially secure when she marries you and then she loses her job then you become her meal ticket will you divorce her then

[@dragonpen455]

"if you hang out with 5 losers, you'll be the 6th" Haha, sounds about right. My ex wife had some friends like this, and you are right, she became one of them. They were decent enough people, but they were bad influences, and she became one of them.

[@tonylama2012]

Dragon Pen yup they will break you down to there level.

[@98gmc1500]

Lol my ex hung around with the same losers and we ended up getting divorced because of it, I wouldn’t let myself be pulled down, she hit rock bottom with them.

[@jporter963]

came for car videos. stayed because I love these life related videos. nice

[@th3kidinfamous]

Jack Porter I agree lol

[@hamzamalik9705]

same

[@Trex8700]

Huge dealbreaker for me is smoking and not doing fitness/being fat

[@donaldfewell9929]

I won't date a smoker. I encourage a woman's health regimen. I need to get fit, losing lots of weight.

[@ericchan5055]

That’s most girls on online dating apps these days...

[@southwest3671]

Unless she’s smoking hot of course.

[@markeichler2225]

If your girl friend starts to smoke tell her to slow down.

[@tectons8371]

I can accept not being into working out although I weight lifting for 10 years but the smoke part it can make me to dump even the hottest woman in the world

[@slimflex1]

This man right here spills soooo much knowledge from his experience. Who on earth will get emotional over what his experience was. You are a God sent. Keep doing what you doing brother. Much love

[@xelu14]

As a woman with standards and morals, i totally agree with your perspective (for once lol) and will not change my boundaries to accommodate anyone who does not fit within them. People who change themselves to fit in with others get disrespected and exploited. Fact!

[@botep5529]

I love my dog more than anything in the world. He kept me from swallowing the barrel of my gun a few years ago. It's hard for me to make him sleep on the floor. The day he leaves this world will be terribly difficult for me, but I am in a place in my life now where I know I will be able to persevere. I'm not a religious guy but I like to think that when I do pass he will be waiting on the other side of the rainbow bridge for me wagging his tail.

[@sofakingcool305]

Dating is totally a business decision. In fact, its the most important business decision we make. You're doing Gods work Richard. 💪🏼💯

[@kyleb2044]

I asked what a girl's life goals were during a first date, which I think is an appropriate first date question. She said marriage and kids, then she asked me the same and I said "not marriage and kids" lol. Sweet, we both know this wont work. I noticed old friends faded away and I was left with a close core of hard working friends, engineers, guys that kicked ass at life and are now early retired and entrepreneurs. I realized all the old high school friends that faded away were way too laid back, didn't want to work at all, they were not trying to succeed in life. Part of the reason I've done well in life has probably some level to do with the type of people I surrounded myself with.

[@dc1397]

Kyle B good for you.

[@laramiemonroe6892]

old friends didn't like nerds and that's it. don't say they didn't succeed in life. they must be doing something else that makes them happy. don't be a bit*h.

[@laramiemonroe6892]

man i couldn't even keep track what you are trying to say. you guys have brain damage

[@joec1212]

I just don't know how you network and surround yourself with new people when you're not in a corporate setting, otherwise I dig the original post.

[@TheDipset1233]

you sound like an incel lol

[@adulfdabo898]

I wish I was able to listen to videos like this 20 years ago! At least my instincts always kept me from doing the big mistakes. Thank you for the good work you're doing!

[@doubleaalanderson4571]

If you show women your cards up front, and they perceive you as high value, they will simply tell you how much they love those exact cards. If this is untrue they will simply try to change you over time and regardless of whether or no they do, they will slowly grow to resent you. Either bc you don't put up with their bs or bc you're such a pansy that you changed for them.

[@davidneyra4418]

I was in a group like that of friends, which I became the driver, and never got a dollar for gas, I was the sidekick, been looked down because I was too nice on been such a good friend for the past 11 years, I was done last year, stood up to them and left, I won't be looked down ever again, thank you for the video Richard, truly awesome, I am now dating a woman who has no kids, does not drink, no tattoos, no family problems, wants a family someday like I do, and wants to share her life with me, her goals, I love it. God bless you man

[@bugrilyus]

Best wishes man!

[@bobsmith-ud9xi]

fuck yeah my man

[@MedievalFantasyTV]

I am from Brazil and I am really enjoying your content, bro. I wish I had this type of advice ten years ago. Things would have been different... Anyway, great work, bro!

[@peladinhasdomarada6618]

... E como faz falta, sem dúvida alguma! Todo dia peço uma máquina do tempo, mas volto a mim e... percebo que é super legal aprender com esses canais!

[@andressantos9138]

Vais corinthians

[@gregd4115]

this is the best advice for people that are starting out the life journey. You are what you eat and show me the people you hang out with and ....

[@Atclav]

“The longer I live, the more I realize that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time!” George Bernard Shaw Somtimes life works out this way. I would change never to rarely.

[@ajmdantonio6837]

Another terrific video! Thank you for making this one. This video applies to men, women, young and old. This issue is very important and needs to be discussed. There's a saying "if you lie down with dogs you will catch their flies" and "tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you want to be".

[@troysttroyrahming3190]

Amanda Poland Good stuff

[@jcnlaw]

This is one of most important videos dealing with self improvement on the internet. How many people will listen and act on the advice in this video? Level up. While you are at it, level up your inner circle too.

[@truwinner2]

Good advice, now I just gotta surround my self with the right people instead of scam artist and low life's

[@ivanovik8091]

Deal breakers for me is Addictions and jobless hobbyless

[@MrFIZZYMann]

* Shopping Doesn't Count as a Hobby * Especially if She Expects You to Pick Up The BILL = BYE !

[@ToquzOghuzKhaganatekhan]

Sad you

[@urielbaeza1]

I love hearing you talk brother. You put your words together very effectively and get straight to the point.

[@MFDOOM4U]

Ohh man I LOL'd when you mentioned the pets in the bed. That was a huge issue with my EX. She always got shit sleep and wondered why.. her dog would sleep on her head, constantly bothering her.

[@slomocalzone]

MFDOOM4U I had a girl get annoyed one time because she wanted to take her dog with us hiking and I said okay, but let’s take your car. I guess I’m a jerk for not wanting hair and mud all over the inside of my car. Oh, well.

[@countessratzass5408]

Señor Slowly Won’t kill ya to take her dog in your car. I don’t agree with pets in the bed, not good for anyone.

[@starwalk3r]

Good all-around advice. Men should set boundaries. If one doesn't set boundaries at the onset, one will get walked on all over.

[@TexasDraped]

Rich, I couldn't find a way to message you but I must tell you, your videos changed my average. Thank you so much for being a strong role model and mentor.

[@HodajuciParadoks]

For me it usually takes ma a week or two of dating, communicating what you like and ask what that man likes(likes and dislikes). You can do it on first date too, only wrong people will get mad about that, it is ok to be honest. Better to know right away than later, and that one I know from personal experience. I agree completely with what he is saying.

[@409ification]

Rich...keep making videos like this my brother! 👍👍

[@EntrepreneursInCars]

thx

[@Libunaop]

Hard work breeds success and if you surround yourself with like minded individuals goals will be reached

[@jmwlife2k]

Spitting a lot of truth in this video. But what's interesting is, society looks down on men who have standards. I've told people before that I don't want to be a step dad and got shit for it (probably shouldn't have said it at work lol). Most people will see that and think you are a douchebag for not wanting to take on women's issues, while they're allowed to keep their standards extremely high. For example: A woman can put right in their profile that they want a man with a job making X amount or more per year. But if a guy did that for a girl, even if the woman is making enough, he'd get shit for it. But the bright side is, if you put it out there, someone will be cool with it. You just eliminate the chance of wasting time like you said

[@Jeff-se5cg]

Just want to say thank you for giving men a place to hear wisdom and share what they learn with other men.

[@deadpooltyinterwebs7233]

My demands are: 1) No drinking 2) No tobacco 3) No kids 4) No chihuahuas 5) No cats 6) Pay your own way 7) Don't get fat

[@jonesy2111]

Deadpool TYInterWebs Good luck

[@donaldfewell9929]

i'd welcome pets.

[@tmultd8070]

OP has a shrinking dating pool lolol.

[@joec1212]

Number 2,4,5 are communist party red flag stylee

[@MrFIZZYMann]

No Drinking ! You could Try Mother Teresa BUT I Think she's Dead. L.O.L.

[@deon.francis]

Listening to this in 2020. You can listen to stuff like this a million years from now and the same lessons will ALWAYS apply.

[@bodhi9464]

“You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with”. ... amen to that ... I’ve always told my child, “you are your associates” ... and the old saying; “lay down with dogs, you get fleas” ... I’ve listened to many MGTOW channels and gone down that rabbit hole; totally get that some men have been totally screwed by an unfair CS system - I get it - I too have been a victim of it, BUT.... I love and agree with Richard’s stance; BE positive - let the other crap go - and “BE the best version of yourself” - 💪🏽 live strong and be happy my brothers ... 🏄🏽‍♂️💦🇦🇺🇨🇦

[@BabakPA]

Thank you for your videos! Makes the darkness more bearable.

[@andrewvaldez8106]

Brother you are so right in THE LAW OF PROBABILITY!!!!! You are around stupid you will be stupid.... I use to date woman all the time just based on looks and availability and I won’t do that again.... Big WASTE OF MY TIME... I up my game and the woman I choose to date so now I don’t date as much and waste my money and time and spend more time on building my career..... Brother Thank you!!!

[@TheYafnit]

This guy is incredibly introspective. Wow

[@offthegridgarage4008]

I like the direction of your channel.. You are a very smart Man my friend. good stuff

[@Gohan1988]

Non Negotiables, this dude is genius!! Keep the great advice coming...🌟✌🏻⭐️

[@HPL5P]

Recapping after letting one go. Laughed my ass of on the cats ass portion. Thanks for the refresher my man.. Keep it up.

[@cevisuals]

Each time I watch/listen to one of your Q&A's, I experience both a little Red Pill Rage which then subsides as you bring rational clarity to a given situation. Thanks Brother!

[@joyrider6456]

Thank you man, your video was a real eye opener for me. Especially your business viewpoint on relationships.

[@macraeolinger]

THANK You for this!! Boundaries are very healthy. I allowed a GF to move in with me but I made her sign a contract that contained my expectations. It worked well. Later, after she broke the contract, I kicked her out. I allowed a different GF to move in with me, withOUT a contract. It ended terribly.

[@michaelwilcox6090]

This video turned up at exactly the right time Richard. Even the title was enough to get the job done..

[@dirtymint]

Your videos are awesome - thanks for taking the time to make them!

[@EntrepreneursInCars]

Your welcome brother

[@michaelsavard2446]

No need to discuss much. Just pay attention, listen to what they say, see what they do, and get honest with yourself (most importantly). If someone is not right in any relationship, don't go forward. OR do go forward and live with the consequences, which will provably be obvious and predictable from early on, and not desireable. Thanks Richard, great channel, you are really helping people.

[@robertrockstroh8277]

I would also say, a man needs to get real comfortable with being alone. When I say alone, I mean “off achieving excellence with clear personal goals”. At that point, it’s easier to not want to be out with women who cannot be clear about what they want early. In this case, you are better off going back home and working on your own personal goals. If you are a high value male, she will not want you leaving to go home.

[@user-xr6ln7lq7b]

Such a clear message! Eyes are opened. Thank you

[@kenanreaves8041]

Came for cars but little did I know shit is about to get real .. Great stuff man

[@jackgoldman1]

My top three non negotiables were college graduate, non smoking, white. That limits the field fast. Then it's fat, ugly, height, breasts physical. That limits the field. What do I have to offer is another issue. I have to be a college graduate, non smoking, white guy too. Smoking tells me someone is selfish, self centered, financially foolish, and self destructive. Easy to sort it out then run the numbers. Meet a lot of people. It's a numbers game. Avoid the feelers, the people who are based in feelings, not facts, usually "liberals" with double standards. Find virtuous people. Know what you want, know what the price is, pay the price. That is all it takes.

[@user-tm1xr9fm8z]

Anyone els find his voice relaxing ? i watching him to help me sleep faster , this can be as an ASMR video for me 🕊

[@yessiree605]

YES! SO True!

[@macioluko9484]

An instant deal breaker for me is if they have children. I'm not interested in being someone's #8 priority.

[@wendykay3195]

thank you for helping us ;)

[@jason618]

Unfortunately for me it's almost everyone in my life, are a waste of my time.

[@jaystrock613]

Can a woman even show up and make it through a date and have fun. A lot of women can not even do that. Ladies, learn how to make the best of a date. If you can't do that, forget it!

[@jrivera8678]

More solid advice and now going to update my dating profile with deal breakers.

[@sagittariansage_2271]

You are THE SHIT for making this video. I am a woman and I have no problem putting my non negs upfront and getting to the point!! I WISH more men would do the same. Any guys reading: If the woman is mature enough, knows herself, what she wants out of life. then trust, she doesnt want to waste her time either so please, early into dating, put your non negs up front!! PERIOD. If people began to practice this regularly it would save both sides mucho headaches. lol

[@mdm5216]

I don't give a rats ass about cars. I subscribed for videos like this. I agree with you. "Build a better version of yourself". Thanks for the content. Keep doing stuff about cars I'm sure it's plenty use full.

[@Bjonse]

Very good video! I once lived in a student dorm with people drinking and doing drugs all the time. They weren't able to get shit done and because i lived there i startet becoming a loser too. Luckily things are different now :)

[@BEATmyguest31]

I dont hang out with anyone for longer than about 5-10 mins tops. I have a 100% success rate when dealing with people i dont like

[@comical9587]

My #1 deal breaker is being a nymphomaniac/hypersexual. My #2 is weed smoking. It disgusts me and I fucking hate the smell and the people doing it. Otherwise, I'm chill with pretty much everything else.

[@zubair1658]

I enjoy watching your videos. They're so informative. I would appreciate if you could make a video on "Toxic people" of WHO they are and HOW to identify them. Greetings from Montréal :D

[@slomocalzone]

Zubair Ahmed I’ve always thought one of the easiest ways to tell is trust the feeling you get when they call you; if you don’t feel like answering when they call, they aren’t someone that makes you feel comfortable or good about yourself.

[@thecowboy9698]

Thank you for making this video, you have given me much to think about.

[@Will-eb7fr]

New fan and liking the channel a lot. I was hoping I could request a topic that is quite relative to this one? Advice on how to deal with powerfully insecure people (both men and women). Thanks.

[@54leonilda]

Excellence in all areas of my life, including this video. Thank you.

[@ifeelinspiredtobuild]

Bro, I have been watching your vids and learning alot from them. I've also shared a few to others. Thank you!

[@Pwg1985]

Thanks for your videos my brother from another mother. You helped me so much with my life. I'm on my way to take the red pill. Thank you

[@bigdaverobo21]

Nice vidéo. I need to keep reminding myself that i should just be around positive people!

[@dennism103]

You clearly have God like wisdom, profound words...

[@scottangele5072]

good stuff he you know what u saying brother.

[@mthunzimadikizela611]

6:35 Proper business knowledge!

[@georgevalvis1253]

Well informed video. I like that you are a straight arrow and very articulate

[@navyy8SD]

Great video...valuable advice, thanks

[@chris20sith]

the point in the rule of 5 is very true. It's ok to have those buddies that you share beers with or just have good times but the core 5 should be those that lift you up and you to them. aka help each other become better.

[@shayne7300]

I have deal breakers that become apparent within a few "meetings", I just pay attention, and bounce a few of my Ideals off the woman, I don't get involved with Alcoholics, Recreational Drug Users (including "cannabis") and the whole pets in the bed thing is a killer too.."Activists" and "Feminists" are no go areas too.. greetings from Queensland, Australia.

[@andrecastillo2318]

Talk about playing your cards right and be set for the rest of your life

[@kumane93]

For my Tinder, POF and Badoo 😂😂😂😂🤣 *Dont contact me if: *You have children *Require your man to be religious *Dont care about your health *Have a body odor *Have ugly feet *You are broke *You try to compete with your peers *You are a hypocrite *You have a high debt deficit

[@1hard2findbro]

Be willing to work with women on their issues.they need help. If you can help,don't be afraid to ask them. sometimes you will get a better overall woman if you are willing to help.sometimes.

[@troysttroyrahming3190]

I like this video nice and straight to point .. Not being afraid to speak. Truth and meaning .

[@bigschnabel]

The dog’s asshole is one of the funniest things I ever heard on KZbin

[@sterlingpless9280]

Don't waste time on wrong people or people who can get you in trouble

[@sumitkid123]

3:12 in, My wife gave me her baggage and history up front i asked it. while dating i asked for it all. her family tried to point it out i shut them downn.

[@sumitkid123]

she knows my history as well. we were both very forward. forward is what it takes.

[@dougackerman4182]

Great video Rich

[@Renaissanceman86]

Whitby Ontario! Yeah buddy!

[@lueldekuek8058]

Another Australian fan here

[@Exxeron-ob3tv]

Why not be straight up about what you are looking for? Fear. "Fear is the mind killer. When the fear is gone, only I will remain."

[@elliottgraham]

Thanks again, and lots of value.

[@hippemarcus6715]

Looking at your videos, I realized that it's all emotional attachments. I been doing all the right stuff for the wrong person, I just literally wasted so much time , money , effort , energy my last 2 and a half years been going to making sure she was straight.

[@DaveyJonesLockerwithJazzy]

Thanks buddy, great advice I'll defo apply

[@kufudokungfu]

Haha the dog with butt hole was the tipping point for me that was funny as 😂 luv your vids man

[@alexbarnes9364]

your shit is on point my man.

[@TanRicky321]

Great video once again.

[@liagrigori]

You should print some of your phrases on t shirts to sell them because they’re that awesome !

[@justsomeguy2943]

GREAT stuff!!! I'd like to add some basics if you get past the initial stuff (obviously amended for romantic, friend and business relationships)- in no particular order: Common core values Like interests Visual attraction Sexual compatibility Specific to romantic relationships: 3 months or whenever she FIRST $hit tests you (as long as the sex is good)- and if YOU don't like ANY of her answers- MOVE ON- immediately and with NO conversation (eg I don't think this is working out for me- see ya!) All other relationships vary based on your desire and tolerance for BS.

[@TheEight55]

Thank you, for making worthwhile and inspiring content on youtube.

[@EntrepreneursInCars]

Your welcome

[@MrWoowootila]

Just ran across you videos today and great perspectives on life.

[@EntrepreneursInCars]

Thanks

[@donaldwymer2791]

Even pirates have Articles. Terms before they step on the ship. it's called agreement. No Agreement - No Deal. There are Deal Beakers. Spell out the Terms. That the Mature Mind.

[@perfectwhine742]

Girls don't respond to me on dating apps anyway so I'm good to go!

[@stevenpavia3647]

A girl who wants me has fake boobs that are just way too unnatural- she’s nice to me but I can’t get over the fact that I’m touching fake stuff. As I crazy?

[@marcharljankowitz167]

I think the first step would be to actually find out what your nonnegotiables are and make a list of them: many of us men are in the situations we are in because we don't know what we want. As the saying goes: "if you don't stand for something you will fall for anything."

[@antar1485]

Pre-watching the video thoughts - Identify who the wrong people are, and don't spend time with them?

[@rogerd4590]

How would you deal with close family whom are energy vampires both in a literal time and energy sense, but also financially? I have a sister whom has a 3 year old son, has had 4 pregnancies in total, only has 1 child with her (2nd was adopted, 3rd miscarriage and 4th abortion) and she's never been married. She can barely keep a job. Her and her son both live with me in my apartment and she's draining me. When I put my foot down she uses her son against me and claims I don't care about him and she just won't accept the word no. If this was just a chick I'd have dumped her years ago but she's my sister and has nowhere else to go, as she has no savings. I'm 28, make 45k a year and have a decent car. My sister made 6k in 2016 in comparison.Thanks.

[@rogerd4590]

Also I am 28.

[@EntrepreneursInCars]

I'll make a video, this question has come up many times before.

[@rogerd4590]

Also, I want to add that I recently met a young lady whom is very single, works just as much as I do (50+ hours a week) and has no kids and is solid all around. We hike twice a week and spend time together and she always pays for her own food, despite me offering. I'm almost 30 and my sister is just really draining me and almost seemingly trying to prevent me from finding a woman (because it Would mean she would have to leave).

[@slomocalzone]

Roger D I see that you left this post a year ago. Is your sister still living with you? That definitely sounds like a tough spot to be in.

[@prolamer7]

You dont really need any advice, its you or her...