How To Talk About Sex With A Sexually Abused Child

How to Talk About Sex With a Sexually Abused Child
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[@MsDorcelus]

I’m glad that she took the initiative to get some insight on the topic ahead of time. I don’t know the caller personally, but I’m assuming she’s an incredible mom. ☺️❤️

[@Valhal1776]

I never suffered any kind of physical abuse or anything, but I was homeschooled and parents literally never spoke a word about sex. It wasn't until well after I discovered porn that I knew that sex is how babies come about. I thought it was something bad people did in movies and in private and we just didn't talk about it. Needless to say, as an adult, even hearing talk about sex is difficult for me without a physiological stress response. Moral of the story, be honest with your kids, because trying to shelter them will just cause more trauma.

[@9liveslisa]

As a kid, I pretty much learned about sex and baby making from watching animal shows like National Geographic or from our dog having a litter of puppies. Kids aren't stupid. And if you don't make it weird, just answer their questions when they are curious. It's all natural and just the way it is supposed to be. (Except for the perversions in the world.) Teach them how to stay safe from dangerous people without scaring the hell out of them. Build trust with your children so they know they can talk to you about anything when they feel unsure or frightened about something.

[@yingyang7448]

100% agree.

[@VioletEmerald]

The actual way you do the talking about SEX, not just puberty and reproductive body parts, with a sexually abused kid, is ideally similar to how you'd talk about it with any kid, where you explain that sex can be a wonderful expression of intimacy and connection between two people who consent, or it can be used violently and horrifically... ...except it's not an abstract concept for the abused kid, it's a necessary part of the conversation to discuss how a sexual crime was indeed committed against you and that's part of your past story, but also sex when you consent and choose it for yourself can hopefully be just like it is for everyone else, a way to connect and bond deeply with people you're attracted to and potentially a person you love. You talk to them about how it's possible your brain will find sex triggering of past trauma, or your partner will find themselves unsure of how to navigate sex with you once they hear about your difficult traumatic past, but there are ways to navigate these challenges too. There's a lot that can be done to help make it all easier and more purely enjoyable, one of the most wonderful experiences for many people. There are other things to say too, like introduce the existence of asexuality PLEASE, say that most people want sex but there are some who don't, that's so helpful to know just in case. Stuff like that. With your non-sexually abused kids you should probably tell them that their sexual partners may find sex triggering if they have had a history of being sexually assaulted, and that they need to be careful to seek out consent with any new partner. This is part of the sex-talk too.

[@blueStarKitt7924]

So right.👍❤️

[@yingyang7448]

John or anyone on his team that reads the comments, can your team link the book you mentioned into the description please?

[@lschereford]

Some Parts are Not for Sharing by Julie Frederico

[@janelleg597]

❤❤❤

[@theclockworkcadaver7025]

John was really motormouthing at this poor woman here.