How to Tell Your Parents You Think You're Autistic

[@realpaigelayle]

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[@themekfrommars]

I went to a café with just my mum when I was 42. Eventually I broached the topic of autism and she said "I always knew you were autistic". Nice, thanks for watching me struggle my entire life, I thought!

[@DavidLindes]

Oof. The sort-of-validation mixed with the profound sense of abandonment both landing in that one little sentence... ouch. Condolences.

[@martalaatsch8358]

Similar experience. Throughout high school, my mom would casually drop that I was probably "superpower" autistic and I tried to ignore that because I was afraid of a confrontation until some point in college just before I turned 18 when I started researching autism and told my mom, upset that she had dismissed it all this time, and she started making excuses and defending herself and fake apologizing

[@naomiparsons462]

My mum also knew I was autistic as a child and went to my teachers and medical professionals for help. They told her that I was just incredibly shy and really intelligent because I was too "well behaved" to be autistic. Eventually, my mum doubted herself to the point where she gave up trying, thinking that she was overreacting. When I told her "I think I might be autistic" at age 14 she was actually really happy to know that she wasn't going crazy or being attention seeking so she supported me. However, if she'd actually talked to me about what autism was as a younger child I might have been able to tell her sooner that this was definitely something which described me. It's very difficult not to blame our parents, but at the end of the day, nobody knows what they're doing when raising a child and the self-doubt caused by suspecting your child has such a stigmatised condition must be huge.

[@SamJeffries-yd7hy]

In my case nobody knew not even me all that I knew is that I was different from my family and people outside of my family. I stuck out and was savagely bullied because of it throughout my life only when I got diagnosed did everything make sense to me

[@DavidLindes]

@@naomiparsons462 💗💜❤‍🩹

[@fruitsalad8768]

I made them answer a screening test for me, and then showed them the results and then let them know what the test was for

[@RambleMaven]

This is genius 😭💖

[@rebeccaburnell9319]

ohhhh that is such a good idea too!

[@yvifee]

Thought about this too these days… 🙃 🤭

[@Dreykopff]

"You tricked me into giving answers I didn't want to give!"

[@gigahorse1475]

Smart but it’s that doesn’t always work! My parents both completed a parent report evaluation at my neuropsych testing, and the scores they reported were soooo much lower than my self report. They made me seem neurotypical. Thankfully my evaluator believed my self report and their observations. Parents can sometimes be blinded by their own traits and not know what is normal.

[@elieslol]

A while before I got my official diagnosis I told my parents “I have been looking around a bit and I think I might have autism”. My dad responded immediately with “Don’t be dumb, you don’t have autism”. A few months later he was questioning if he as well has autism😀

[@shayne_has_landed2511]

The hardest part about coming out as autistic to your loved ones is that you are also coming out as a marginalized person. You’re telling them that you experience discrimination and microaggressions constantly for being born the way you are. But you’re also having to explain that many of the traits that make you who you are come from the trauma of being a marginalized person. We can’t just come out and say “this is how my brain works”, because in order to do that, we also have to explain stuff like “the reason I found out I’m autistic so late is because of ableism”. Which is painful to say, but also logistically confusing to explain. Not only are we hitting our loved ones with “surprise I’m genetically different”, we’re also hitting them with “surprise I’m marginalized” at the same time and that’s a lot to take in. Especially when coming out to neurotypicals who aren’t marginalized in any way.

[@amberr3662]

What I did (UK): went to my GP, told them obvious signs of autism without saying its autism with my mum there (who agreed) and just let the GP tell her they think I could be autistic (the GP knowing about a CAMHS appointment where they said I probably had depression, anxiety and autism helped). An AQ-10, a right to choose provider, and 5 months later, got diagnosed at age 17.

[@zf-xi6ds]

Hi, which provider?

[@amberr3662]

​@@zf-xi6ds clinical partners, however the waiting list has gone up to 10 months now so I'd recommend seeing other providers under the NHS and see if any other one is shorter.

[@naomiparsons462]

That's what I did with a mental health professional at my school: sent her a massive email with all my traits and told her I thought I had "some kind of communication disorder". She suggested autism of course, and never thought that I knew what it was. I have to go through the NHS though so it's already been over a year and they haven't even accepted my referral yet.

[@rubenavila1087]

I grew up in a time where autism wasn’t fully understood and now I wanna people on it once I’ve learned more about autism

[@strictnonconformist7369]

I keep finding more and more isn't understood about it: in a live Locals podcast, someone said if they can find the solution to dementia they can also cure autism, because the symptoms are the same..... WAT?

[@pixie9499]

i already tried the “i think im autistic” talk & i was met with “no, you’re not.” so now i know im autistic - in secret.

[@inspectre27]

Undercover autistic brother (or sister, but that doesn't rhyme as well 😉).

[@shatteredstarss]

20 years ago, at age 20, I told my mom I thought I was autistic. She said "No you aren't". I just got confirmation that I am autistic. I don't need to have that conversation again.

[@pixie9499]

this is exactly me, except it was 5 years ago & im 25 now. i struggle to gain true confirmation but im so sure & i cannot handle being invalidated anymore. im glad you got that closure, even if it wasn’t necessary for you. we all deserve to just live comfortably 🫶🏻❤️

[@rebeccaburnell9319]

I'm 51, and I'm getting ready to tell my dad & stepmom (the safest people in my life other than my adult daughter, who already knows) - came to the final realization that I'm autistic back in January when I discovered some pretty critical-for-me ways that some high-masking individuals might meet certain of the DSM criteria that I hadn't felt fit me until then. "Think about what you struggle with" - omg, this is... yeah, this is absolutely the door I should open to introduce it!!!!!!!!!

[@boi905]

A new Paige video FUCK YES my day got a little bit better

[@realpaigelayle]

FUCK YEAHH

[@ParticleLarry]

​@@realpaigelayleI'm confused, when I use the f word in comments , KZbin says I violated the rules and can't make a comment for 24 hours

[@Essentially_Nothing]

@ParticleLarry what that probably is is that you violated a specific channel's rule about no f bombs, but it doesn't apply to this channel.

[@Comhead1234]

Wow just in time because im getting an official screening tomorrow, and I haven't mentioned anything to my parents yet!

[@realpaigelayle]

How serendipitous! Good luck tomorrow and be yourself! :)

[@tweedybird21]

I’ve always been told by one of my best friends who is autistic that I have autism, but I always was masking when I was out in public now after watching your videos and other autistic creators videos I realize that I shouldn’t mask my disability. I should just embrace it as long as I’m not hurting myself or hurting anybody else, I do a lot of stimming like bouncing my leg, fidgeting rocking back-and-forth, falling, my head back-and-forth pacing back-and-forth, snapping my fingers and so many other things and I have pretty often or I used to have a ton of Autism meltdowns now they’re not as frequent, but they still happen. I don’t like loud noise. Don’t like certain materials and fabricsand textures

[@realpaigelayle]

I love that you are more confident in being your true autistic self! :)

[@naomiparsons462]

My autistic friend also told me at a young age that I was probably autistic because I had (undiagnosed) selective mutism amongst other things, and she could also "just tell". Without her, I would never have pursued the research because my biggest self-doubt was that I would have known before. I didn't even think being undiagnosed was a thing, I thought every autistic person got diagnosed at like 2 years old.

[@JordanS-ww4eu]

@@realpaigelayleyou’re my best friend I really like you ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@JordanS-ww4eu]

@@realpaigelayleI’m autistic too

[@JordanS-ww4eu]

@@realpaigelayleyou’re very pretty Paige I like your hair

[@aribizarri]

my brother was diagnosed at two and has high support needs. i’m in my mid-twenties and don’t plan on telling my parents until i have a formal diagnosis. they would never believe me otherwise.

[@NitFlickwick]

I can confirm what Paige said about feelings over facts when talking about late diagnoses. I’m in my 50s and only identified this year. The conversations with my parents were all about the feelings, what my experience is like. I’m sure my autism is a little of column A and some of column B as I inherited traits from each of my parents, so they probably aren’t autistic (though my mother is borderline on that), but they could relate to experiences I had, and we could use that as a starting point.

[@PeachyHeartco]

I don't think my mom would believe me because every time I bring up a symptom I'm met with "oh I did that when I was your age too" :/

[@PostTraumaticVictory]

Oh HELL yes, new Paige video for while I prep dinner! 🎉

[@jesterr7133]

I have several people in my family that are diagnosed, and just as many that have not been diagnosed yet. Many of the people in my extended family share many Autistic traits. Being more aware of it now, I know three people outside of my family that are not diagnosed. We have only scratched the surface of the true number of people with Autism.

[@purpleguy-bu5fe]

My parents have a preconceived notion of what autism is. They say I'm to smart to be autistic, I'm to social, I'm to "normal"....( I'm very high masking ) I've found ways to accommodate myself I bought Headphones I have quite time I'm much more easy on myself then I used to be.... When I turn 18 I think I'm going to seek a formal diagnosis myself because my family ( many undiagnosed ADHD and autistics ) just don't understand and I've tried to explain but they don't think I need a "negative" label on my medical record.....my family loves me and I won't let this get in-between us but I really wish my parents understood what autism actually is... Thank you page for being such good help on my self diagnoses journey 💜

[@pixie9499]

this was me, totally. it took me a little longer to realize it myself, but once i did my family refused to even hear it. i’m 25 & still searching; if you have access at 18 DO IT!! i know we all experience things differently but i so wish i could have reached out with this at 18 & i’ll scream from the rooftops to any 18 y/o to JUST GET THE EVALUATION (if you can!) wishing you the best, you deserve comfort & accommodations 🫶🏻❤️

[@jesterr7133]

It was kinda funny when I became aware that I was Autistic. A lot of the odd things that have happened in my life suddenly made sense. In high school, I changed the way i dressed and hung out with a different group of people every year, but never fit in with any of them. Whenever I had to go to school or work, the only thing I thought about while I was there was getting home to be by myself and do what I wanted to do, lol. I had two different employers create positions for me that didn't require me to interact with other people. I couldn't understand why I couldn't get along with other people or fit in for any length of time. I spent my life trying to figure it out before I finally found the answer.

[@emxhnth]

I'm currently on the waiting list to be diagnosed, i knew for a few years i could be autisic but i only recently told my therapist a few months ago she helped me tell my mum and my school are now realising that a few years ago when they first thought of doing an autism assessment on me, which they never did, they should have done one sooner as it would have helped me alot in those years.

[@kushclarkkent6669]

I've tried a million times, but my parents are just too old and out of touch to understand. They just think I'm weird, which I am. But they don't see me weird in an endearing way. My 4 year old nephew is autistic and they sort of understand him because he's nonverbal. I hate being autistic, but in many ways it's a massive advantage. I just wish people understood or were willing to understand it more.

[@pelehonuamea]

lol haha! I loved your reply to (paraphrasing) "why even say you have this?" Answer: "cause, Grandma, people do research on Autism, but not on "why is paige crying every day" ROFL Felt this 100% and if I had any alive relatives to tell, this is how I would explain it. From one crier to another, much love!

[@itsMe..-]

I remember the first day i started to consider i might be autistic. i researched the traits but didnt give it much thought afterward. the next day after school, my mom told me as she was driving me home from school that she thought i was on the spectrum. im so goad she brought it up first because i likely wouldnt have actually noticed until much later. im diagnosed now as of June

[@SamJeffries-yd7hy]

Nobody knew I was Autistic until I was diagnosed not even me. But when I was diagnosed things made sense my background my behaviour. I wasn’t diagnosed until 33

[@gemmagrantham1467]

That end part was really validating and I needed to hear that. Thankyou. ❤

[@jesterr7133]

I went through this recently. I had always sensed that I was different. Several of my family members are diagnosed, but none of them were diagnosed until the last decade. My nephew is non verbal, but I recognized that we share quite a few behaviors. At 40, I began researching Autism more closely, and it was like a light bulb went off. When I brought it up to my mom, her response shocked me. She just said "I know". As we talked further, she apologized to me. She said that if she had known then what she knows now about Autism, she would have handled things very differently. She said that she began noticing the behaviors herself, but she chalked them up to eccentricity during my childhod, due to my IQ. From spending time with my nephew, she is now familiar with the symptoms. I am still coming to terms with everything, and I feel a mixture of peace and turmoil at the same time. It's hard to explain.

[@BrianBorges-ez3ls]

Hey Paige! This was very cool! Well done!💕

[@jesterr7133]

For me, what led me down the rabbit hole was a combination of gender and noticing a lot of similar behaviors to my nephew. I have always had an atypical presentation throughout my life, and being a logical thinker, I wanted a logical way to explain it. I eventually came upon a study that was done on the connection between Autism and gender presentation. Having spent a lot off time with my nephew and recognizing our similarities, everything just suddenly made sense. As I researched the symptoms more closely, it was so obvious that I wondered why it had never occurred to me before. I had always been different, and I suddenly understood why.

[@BliffleSplick]

For me it was the recurring thing of really vibing with a character and it turns out people thought they were autistic. Over and over and over. And then getting upset in ways I couldn't explain when those same characters suddenly became more and more generic, usually because of a no-chemistry romance shoehorned into the next several seasons to "make them more normal"

[@johneerhardt]

one of your recent videos mentioned your book. I’m halfway through it. Thank you for writing it. I’m sorry going through that first part of your life was so difficult.

[@DanaGreen-y4b]

I think you should talk about trauma relating to/caused by special interests, I've had couple major times that's happened to me throughout my life but the biggest one I can really remember is to do with my special interest and hobby for dance, what happened was that when I was in high school we where doing dance in PE it was going great up until the end of the unit on it because for some reason they made up wear shorts skirts (I think they ordered them in as well) and made us put on the dance we'd been rehearsing for all the boys in our year without any notice and they threatened to give us detentions if we didn't do it, trauma memory lol, I think you should talk about stuff like this

[@inspectre27]

My dad would have sued them so hard. He's always had an overinflated sense of justice. Hey, you don't think maybe... Seriously, though. I relate and feel for you.

[@closeben]

this is the first video of yours that I have watched but that “end of the video” song is one of the funniest and smartest things I’ve seen on youtube.

[@Colfeolune]

Because I have Moral OCD (an obsessional fear of not being a good person that leads me to compulsions such as ignoring and not expressing my struggles out of the fear that it would otherwise mean I'm weak or lazy, people please out of the fear that it would otherwise mean I'm selfish, and avoid any negative feedback that might prove how much of a horrible person I am), I masked heavily since early childhood. That means there are almost no struggles that I had that my parents knew about and that I could use to disclose my AuDHD diagnosis, so they were sceptical. It's only once I discovered about OCD and could explain that part to them and how it affected me emotionally and made me hide my struggles that they believed me. They even apologized for not having detected how much I struggled until now and asked me how they could help.

[@princesslilyfromtheisleoft2649]

I first started looking into autism when I was about eleven because the kids I went to elementary school with would always say stuff about me being weird, me never shutting up about what I liked, and my teachers said I was sweet but didn’t socialize much but I had never been told I might autistic so I pushed down these feelings for sometime. I started looking back into it about two years ago because I was realizing it was becoming more apparent that I was struggling with some stuff like my sensory issues, my emotions, anxiety, things like that. Plus, I had multiple autistic friends tell me they thought I was autistic, which meant a lot to me when I was still debating my own feelings. Of course some people have hit me with the “you can’t be autistic, you have friends”, “you can’t be autistic, you’re not stupid”, “you don’t seem autistic, you’re too happy”, other stupid things like that. I mentioned this once to my mom and she started saying “I don’t think you’re autistic, you have anxiety” which stung a bit (even though she was right about the anxiety part) but then I talked a bit more to her and she seemed a bit more understanding but not fully. I have an amazing relationship with my parents even though we don’t always agree but it’s gotten so much better and they tell me how happy they are that I’ve gotten better at sharing my feelings and how proud they are of me for my growth. I don’t know if I’ll ever get diagnosed, my mom has said if I ever want to she’ll support me, but I feel better about myself now that I’ve done more research. I don’t feel like I need to be ashamed of having these feelings anymore. I no longer feel like a weirdo who or like there’s something wrong with me. I’m still not 100% confident saying “I’m autistic” to everyone just yet but I feel good where I’m at. If you feel like you may be autistic but aren’t ready to share that you don’t have to, but if you are, by all means, come forth and prosper my friend. 🫶

[@lyssbeinglyss]

The irony…I saw this video 10 mins too late 😂😭 But I will still watch it of course!

[@gracianaoviedo9467]

Omg same 😅

[@DavidLindes]

Well, here's hoping it went OK for both of you. And maybe this can help inform the second conversation, because there'll surely be more. :)

[@gracianaoviedo9467]

@@DavidLindes yes! it did turn well cause they told me to find someone to get diagnosed :D thank you so much

[@DavidLindes]

@@gracianaoviedo9467 Sweet! I wish you much goodness on your journey! I just had a new revelation today about something that autism likely influenced... a joyful grief ensued, and so it goes on!

[@ixrk]

Oh my god Paige got a haircut! :D

[@claudiotamburri9977]

Paige has a new video All is right with the world! Thanks again for the shoutout at end 😊

[@vikkisgrotto]

Thank you so much Paige, this video is an invaluable resource to me as someone who has a hard time putting their thoughts and feelings into words. Also, all credit goes to you for getting the ball rolling on my diagnosis journey after I saw one of your tiktoks a couple years ago. Thank you for everything you do 💗

[@dustyscribe8397]

The part about suicide is morbid, but I laughed because I totally understand

[@samuelmchargue6160]

When i was 9 years old my mom took me to a doctor that diagnosed me (i don't remember what the formal name of the type of doctor they were), and i am very greatful that she did that. I know myself that i have it because i know the traits of it and probably would be able to diagnose myself if i was not already diagnosed

[@rubberkiwi1]

I'm a 40 year old self diagnosed woman who tried to tell her 77 year old mom and I got those responses you had "grandma" say! You KNOW! ... and I love you, you are amazing and thank you for existing.

[@as.31415]

I am so screwed over because i told my mom once but it felt like she didn't believe me because I did research on the internet, so I told her that I was stupid and didn't want to go through with it. Then, over a year later, I told my therapist who actually agreed with me and wanted to get an evaltuation set up. She told my mom for me, my mom agreed to do whatever to help me. All was good until a week or so later, my therapist spontaneouly had to leave for "personal reasons". My mother never spoke about autism to me since. I talked to my new therapist about it, and she said that for the reasons my old therapist left, she doesn't trust her professional opinion. She never put down the idea of me being autistic/neurodivergent, but she has not brought it up again or done anything about it besides indicrectly helping me with "symptoms" like executive disfunction, overstimulation, and frustration with change and people. God I just don't know what to do anymore.

[@PlantingDiversity]

Thank you so much for the, talk about what you struggle with tip Paige 🙏 😊 I also love the connectivity explanation ❤I was only diagnosed AuDHD last year and so many people have dismissed my diagnosis with comments like, “but you don’t look autistic”, and “everyone is a bit in the spectrum”. 😢

[@selbyhill4905]

My mom’s a school psychologist and my dad is a family therapist ;). Yes, I was a well trained child. I swear I was manipulating people into thinking I was fun and cool since the young age of 4. Lots of things have happened. Lots of therapy that didn’t work. Lots of testing. And now my psychologist is telling my parents, “Hey, she’s probably autistic.” And now my mom feels bad because she saw things that pointed to it but she never worked with a lot of girls on the spectrum who didn’t have a learning disorder or another comorbidity as a school psychologist, so she didn’t realize it could be autism. And then there’s my dad who has ADHD (and we all want to say probably more but we don’t) who is like nah she’s just Selby, that’s just who she is. Yes father. It’s who I am lol that’s the point. All I’m saying is, even if your parents are legit psychologists, you may still have to help them understand autism. Also, it’s scary at first but it does REALLY help and I’m 24.

[@gamergirlszombiearmy]

This video hit me hard, I'm a 36yr old female, I have horrible anxiety & cry a lot. I would call my mom up and try to explain to her that I feel like my brain is different but couldn't make it clearer than that. My family thinks I'm overly sensitive, I don't do well in confrontations and I'm really sensitive to light, noise and smells. I haven't been diagnosed yet since it costs a lot of money but I think I found Propser Health online that could possibly give me a diagnosis that's on the low cost side and they take insurance. I haven't met my deductible yet so I have to pay it out of pocket which is why I'm waiting for my HSA to build up a little more.

[@soniazheng1010]

I needed this years ago. ❤❤❤

[@inspectre27]

51 years old here. KZbin told me that I'm autistic. About a year ago (?), the KZbin algorithm suddenly started suggesting a metric crapton of autism videos (including several of yours, Paige). I like learning about brain stuff and have been diagnosed with a number of other things, so I watched 'em. With every single one I went "hmm". The more I watched, the more certain I became. So, I texted my brother, the person I felt would be most receptive. "Hey, I think I'm autistic." He replied, "Yeah, probably." 🤔 I then called my mom and said the same to her. Her response was, "Oh, I've thought that for years." 🤔 When were you guys planning on telling ME? 😅 More research, more certainty. Now, I was hesitant to tell my dad. He's a somewhat gruff fellow and I have always pretty obviously not been the favorite son. I sent him a text just simply stating my position, no justification, no elucidation. About 2 or 3 hours later, he wrote back, "It's a possibility." So it wasn't that bad. I've kept researching, and I now think it's actually the dreaded AuDHD.😅 Too many contradictions. Like I've always had what I now know is probably selective mutism, but I also became hyperverbal at age 2. There are times when I'm so in my world that I have no idea someone is trying to interact with me, but other times I'm so aware of my surroundings that I jump at everything, can hear things others can't, and find what should be normal sensations become painful. My therapist and I figured out that I have a version of alexithymia, but I frequently have emotional outbursts far exceed the norm or need. I would really like to get tested to be certain. Unfortunately, I'm dealing with a cancer scare currently that is probably more pressing. 😮 The research continues, though, and I should be well-armed when I do get in front of the docs. Putting together a binder so I have reference when my brain stops. (I tend to lock up around doctors, especially men.) Big❤.

[@GraceBrooks-zy3ms]

This might sound strange and far be it for a stranger on the Internet to throw illegitimate dxs your way, but for what it's worth, I can tell just by the way you write. Good luck with everything.

[@trishs4503]

I love the idea of writing it down.

[@aven_snow]

cool but how do i tell my parents i think THEY’RE autistic lol?

[@xxmigs41xx]

i pulled up to my folks with a wholeass dissertation and info-dumped, naturally

[@nikkihamilton8951]

I feeling better in different environment in work and too much noise in old workplace, now it feeling better now 👸😇👩‍🎨💆‍♀️👌

[@condor727me]

i appreciate the video! i will have to wait a bit to talk with people i think....for me, people were always grateful that i was the one, "without any problems," ...turns out.....well....i've had quite a few problems.....i guess i can't shake the feeling that admitting that openly is letting people down. fortunately, i've been learning and working on myself through the community i've found here which is pretty nice actually :)

[@actuallyhonestly]

I'm so scared to tell my parents that I think I'm autistic because they might think I'm attacking them for being "bad parents" like autism is developed in childhood because your parents freaking vaccinated you or didn't give you enough RED MEAT or something stupid like that..

[@inspectre27]

Relate re: fear. It wasn't so bad, though.

[@tyreesetjjoyner1995]

Good video Paige

[@Stormbrise]

Paige, I am triggered right now, and will come back and watch this video later. Read on if you want to know why. One thing I should bring up, we are not the best at reading people. We believe we can trust people in our family. I learned to the detriment of my mental health that this is not the case. A member of my extended family has decided to make my life hell. I am not longer allowed to be alone with her children, because maybe they will catch it or something. She even decided that her mother-in-law was a safer person to drive with her kids, even though the mother was afraid to death to ride with her MIL. The kids were always busy if I suggested a child friendly outing with the kids, along with my husband. They were always busy, even while I even looked at their very visible family calendar. Mind you I took them to the zoo, on walks, into the city, to the aquarium, on the metro/train, along with me driving. All this happened right after I told my husband’s side of the family I was autistic. Then things changed, I was not allowed to message or call her, every thing I did was suspect. I eventually started to fawn, trying to win her respect again. That did not work. I felt uncomfortable every family gathering where we were forced to be in the same place. So, I went to see my family after I got my degree, thinking six months would help me get over being uncomfortable. My mother in law invited me to lunch with my husband, her brother, my husband’s brother and the two kids. I was told that my sister-in-law had other plans for that date and she could not be there. Well let me tell you, she cancelled her plans and was there. Heaven forbid I was alone at any time with my nieces. I was excited for this lunch, looked forward to it, prepared myself with some scripting and scenarios before heading there. All the plans we make to go anywhere to be social. I saw my MIL set an 8th plate at the table and my heart sunk a bit, then thought maybe she invited a mutual friend of ours. I tried to be optimistic. I walk outside, and got a hello from the person I did not prepare to be around at all, who has made my life a living hell while I was trying to finish my degree. I was floored, and my mood went south, and I went silent for 2.5 hours. Selective mutism is not fun when you were hoping for a different day. I felt myself starting to melt down, I packed my security bag with stuff i always take with me anywhere, and left my husband and went home. Upon getting home, I had a complete meltdown. This was a week ago from the date this video went up, and I am brought to tears still from it. So, be careful of who you come out as an autie to or AuDHD. You never know, maybe just stick with your nuclear family at first. Let the in-laws that have not been around you for 25 years and suspected and supported you during this time, know. But be wary of anyone who marries into to the family. Oh and when I told her i was diagnosed autistic she said it was because I got the measles, mumps and rubella vaccine as a kid, and I got it repeatedly because my vaccination record never went to the next school every time we moved. I told her when she stated that Dr. Wakefield had lied about it, and that it could never be repeated in other studies, and that he was trying to dispel trust in the MMR currently in use to sell his own vaccine to replace the MMR vaccine. To be honest, after 4 years of living with this hell she brought on me, I told her after she told my brother in law that he was no longer allowed to grieve for his father after his funeral… that she needed to understand neurodiversity because their youngest is showing signs of being on the spectrum. I went with the one that a lot of people embrace right now, for their creativity, thinking out of the box, ADHD, instead of AuDHD. Needless to say the shit hit the fan for my bluntness and I did go home to my family to lick my wounds. I fear for my niece, having watched another undiagnosed self medicate to soothe herself and anxiety. Another soothed only with alcohol. I watched her that day, tell her youngest not to stim and it was unacceptable. Who needs ABA when you have a mother who chastises her own kid. Does not want to label her, even though she is already labeling herself, her teachers and classmates.

[@TomsOnUK]

Really good advice

[@tweedybird21]

Your TikTok videos or Instagram videos or whatever are so amazing and same with a bunch of other autistic creators they have really helped me realize that I’ve always been autistic, but no one really knew because I did a lot of masking in elementary school and high school and Autism done when I was like seven and it didn’t say I had it. It just said I had ADHD. I believe I probably have that as well but I know 100% I have Autism so I’m on the waitlist to get an autism diagnosis done by Simon Fraser Universitybecause I live in British Columbia and I’m 26 years old

[@Bryan_on_fire]

Love you too! ❤

[@ronanmchugh2253]

My issue is that if I am autistic (haven’t gone through the process yet but plan to), then my father is also definitely autistic (undiagnosed). By breaking this to my family, I will also have to have the genetic conversation. My father is a smart guy and I assume he has at least considered this at some point in his life and never wanted to do anything about it. Will this shake his sense of self? Did he already have suspicions that I have autism, and my parents just never wanted to do anything about it? I sense some sort of resentment will come from either parties and I’m afraid it will strain out relationships

[@JonBrase]

So many factors can play into that besides autism. I don't think your dad is very likely to have an identity crisis over it, however well or poorly it goes otherwise, as men tend to be lower-masking and thus to have a better sense of self. What he's likely to be weak on are: 1) A sense of self awareness as to how he comes across to outside observers. 2) Knowledge of what autism actually is. While his sense of identity is unlikely to be shaken, he may still be quite skeptical that any of the diagnostic criteria apply to him or you in any meaningful way ("why are they pathologizing normal behavior?").

[@strictnonconformist7369]

I was late-diagnosed at 31 in 2002, having grown up with an autistic older sister we recognized as being autistic due to "Rainman" but I was totally oblivious to the thought I was also autistic, despite being a fairly low-masking male. It didn't affect my sense of self at all. I'm a logical person, I remember enough bits in my youth that clearly fit, as well as older siblings recounting tales, and a picture of me, before I could walk, balancing a transparent ball toy with a plastic horse inside on my feet, feet above my head, as one fun example. I'd sought out counseling (after parents died by about 3 years) due to extreme stress that caused autistic traits to become more pronounced, with autistic inertia being the trait I recognized as a problem because I was dealing with severe medical problems while being long-teem unemployed, but I was in a low-energy pattern of inertia, while 8 years before, a high-energy pattern of inertia pushed me into a very dramatic shutdown that can best be explained as a catatonic episode, where I was overwhelmed, and lost all awareness, in an unstable posture, frozen, for an unknown number of minutes.

[@Essentially_Nothing]

Thank you for making this video. In case if you see this comment, here's an outline of my situation (you have no idea how many times I've tried to condense and rewrite this 😂): I am a teenager that is suspecting AuDHD, but I am not diagnosed with it, nor anything else. One sibling and my mom are diagnosed with ADHD, my other sibling is diagnosed AuDHD, and my dad probably is autistic as well (he's said so himself). He has actually mentioned the possibility of me being on the spectrum along with many remarks about my traits, but no one has really done anything about it. In terms of my mom, I'm afraid to tell her the most. She probably wouldn't have an issue with the ADHD part, but she'd definitely accuse me of hypochondria if I mentioned autism. (For some reason, she thinks I think I have OCD, which is hilarious to me. I actually looked into it for fun and it actually kind of did describe me a bit, but that's aside the point 😂) And my parents tell each other everything, so far chance of a secret discussion. I was wondering if you or anyone else would have some advice for my situation? I don't want to be accused of being a hypochondriac or anything, and I'm worried they won't do anything about it.

[@ioncewaspoisonivy13]

my mom told me but i have a couple friends who might need this, thanks!!

[@kata2180]

Im 32. Convinced im autistic since Aspergers was still a thing, so for a long time. Nobody, and I mean nobody gets diagnosed as an adult here. This country is still in the 90s when it comes to autism awareness, cuz I swear nobody is aware of anything at all. There is only one organization in this whole country that diagnoses autism in people over 18, you wait a year to even get on their waiting list, and I know a girl who's been on it for 4 years and still hasnt heard from them. It's tragic. I wish money was the only issue. I told several healthcare providers I think I might be autistic in hopes to be recommended some place to be diagnosed or at least helped in any way, and all of them straight up told me "from what I'm seeing, you're not" (end of discussion). Including in the middle of one of my worst depression/burnout episodes when I was clearly suicidal and they knew it. I. Am. So. Angry. Also I'm pretty sure I'm PDA so the powerlessness drives me crazy! I know there are no accomodations available in this hell, but is it wrong that I still wanna know? For myself? To be sure? Gosh.

[@SamJeffries-yd7hy]

That sounds terrible here in the UK I didn’t get diagnosed until 33 I think because I am so good at masking I can do it without thinking. But at the same time people I think could see how I was somehow different from others I got bullied and betrayed god knows how many times. Now I like to be alone and that is by choice. But your story sound simply awful

[@girlwithagarden]

PAIGE THANK YOU I’VE BEEN STRUGGLING MY PARENTS DON’T BELIEVE ME

[@DangerAngelous]

Me telling my mum: "The psychologist I've been seeing for anxiety, she said I'm autistic, am I?" Mum: "oh yeah you were diagnosed when you were 10, here's a f***load of papers and notes about you, but not including the actual diagnosis"

[@sophiawools1971]

When I told my mom I think I'm autistic, she laughed at me. At the time I didn't know how to bring it up or explain. Now I'm afraid to bring it up again.

[@inspectre27]

Maybe start sending her links to KZbin shorts that point out your specific traits?

[@xFlowerCat]

thank you i know how to tell my mom this now

[@TheAlexWay05]

I have mild ASD also. I feel you girl, no one understands us like us. ❤🫶🏼

[@adoteq_]

I think I have been Yuri Bezmenov in my previous life. I have somehow a almost intuitive feeling for the flow of the language, altough I never spoke Russian in this life. Besides that, I sometimes suffer from precognition it seems. How does your autism manifest itself? Do you have any specific spiritual things you can comment about?

[@chinita2463]

My mom gets upset when I bring it up like I'm intentionally try to hurt her feelings?!

[@Shrek-b7r]

I have a question is being pro active and never wanting too go too sleep at night ( common for people with asd ) I have moderate autism and I’m a weightlifter 🏋️

[@vixikie]

Can you do a video about how it is like having your own place and living alone as autistic? I would love to move away from home one day but I'm very scared of all the responsibilities that comes with it and just thinking about leaving home and the change of that is making me stressed and overwhelmed. I also get tired very easily, how do I structure things? I know I will get help but it still makes me scared even if I am excited as well. I love the tour of your home you did a while ago. Could you do another one?

[@leonamccormick3950]

Maybe I’ll just send them this vid 😂

[@Alwayscountry17]

I told my family all at once, at Christmas. My husband already knew. When I made the joke to lighten the mood, my little sister was wholeheartedly supportive. She said she thought everyone already knew that about me. 😂 My mom is pretty narcissistic though, and took immediate offense. She got mad that I even considered it in the first place to research it. Then she asked where I thought I got it from. I told her I didn't know, because my dad was right there. He has a safe space in his garage, and a collection of model cars, so I feel like it's pretty obvious. But that's his journey to go on, not mine. My sister and I will just quietly support him from the sidelines. My mom still gets mad when I mention it, but it's become a family joke at this point. The rest of our family is very aware of my quirks, and we all joke about it together when I'm stimming without realizing it, or overstimulated. We have fun with it, and my mom just fumes over it. And that's fine. My husband is the one who lives with me everyday and sees how obvious it is. His opinion is the only one I really want to hear.

[@LeoButchaiwang-nb5wo]

I just told my older sister in Bangkok that I’m autistic

[@atomict1974]

Just watch the movie "Rain Man" with your parents and then drop the "truth bomb"? Kind regards 😎

[@elishadavis6598]

I'm 31 girl I've been outcast and bullied my whole life. My last two years of school I got kinda popular because I copied all the girls around me to fit in. And not be bullied also have collection of pokemon and anime stuff and I get called childish all the time

[@SamJeffries-yd7hy]

I can totally relate to your story however I learned to thrive off being an individual I stopped caring what people thought I wear autism like a badge of honour I am proud to be Autistic

[@Libby147]

You can also send E-SIMs to other people around the world so that they can access the internet from places with "unreliable service". Hint hint.

[@KellyLilly-mt9sh]

After scoring exceptionally high results in standardized "bubble test" in grade 2, I was pulled out of public school and spent grade 3 in a school for the gifted. That school determined my language skills were at university level but my social skills were worse than a preschooler. Mum took this as an insult to her parenting skills and put me back in public school.... so, instead of getting the help i needed i was tormented even worse by public school kids that thought i was a weirdo who wasn't so smart after all if I was back in public school. Skip forward 20 years and I want to talk to mum and dad together about issues i had as a child and issues that continued to be an issue as an adult. (My dad left the summer before grade 3 started. ) Dad said, "name the time and place". My mum said, "I'm not sitting in a room with that man ever again". Skip forward 20 years. Dad is dead but mum wonders why i still don't want anything to do with her. We spoke for a bit after my dad died but she is still unwilling to do anything to accommodate me and insists everything be done to suit her comfort levels. She won't tolerate any recounting of my childhood that doesn't paint her out as the perfect parent and my childhood as enviable. I was OBVIOUSLY different as a child and displayed all the typical signs of a kid with autism. Furthermore, my teachers defined the problem. I have lived most of my life isolated, with very little support. I'm in my 50th year of life.... Thank you for making this video. I'm not a computer person (almost Amish lifestyle) but recently got gigabot of data on phone. I'm using it to research Asperger's/Autism (it's overwhelming to realize so many others are like me...) and living off grid (again, it's overwhelming to realize so many others live like me...). I just found your video about traits in children and then watched this one. I liked both! I hope parents and teachers watch this to avoid kids having the crappy experiences i did growing up. You have a great delivery and the content is also relatable. I like the suggestions you make about talking to others about autism . I look forward to watching more. Once I understand more about implications of subscription, I may subscribe (I'm creeped out by "Big Brother" watching me issues...I don't think you're a creep...I did hit the thumbs up button for both videos...)

[@Dontnut_operator]

So sorry wasn't trying to wright a paragraph

[@kira4644]

need this lol

[@leelanhua5015]

I’ve been diagnosed with depression and an anxiety disorder. Now I’m going through an assessment for autism. My therapist thinks that apart from autism I may have adhd. My parents think that I am just highly intelligent and weird. They will not agree to any other diagnosis than me having a high IQ. I hope that my assessment will not be ruined with their opinion because they wrote in their interviews that I was a perfect child and I had no problems with anything. I remember struggling so much with sensory things as a child. But they just never asked. I hope I get my diagnosis so that I can live in peace at least with myself.

[@samuelmchargue6160]

I've always known that ADD and ADHD are common for people that are autistic (i have both)

[@pendafen7405]

Guess I'm pretty lucky, my mother helped me (F/30s) with my assessment and supported me all the way. She accepts and knows that I'm autistic and makes accommodations. So it's a mystery why I feel can't ever tell her I'm gay🙂🙂🙂

[@theadventurerofpeace9437]

Hi

[@abcmaya]

I knew I was autistic when I realized that I'm very narrow minded thinking. When I like something it's all I think about excessively. And I like it.

[@Dontnut_operator]

Hi um Im 18 and just recently considered the possibility I'm autistic, however when I brought it up to my mom apparently my teachers and them had discussed it and when genetics got brought up my dad refused to even consider it a possibility ( my dad was abusive and had anger problems yet has died now. ) I was giving accomodations yet never knew why. I don't have a diagnosis. Should I be mad? who should I be mad at? Should I git a diagnosis? I all so think that there is a high probability I have ADHD and dyslexia to yet have no diagnosis on that either. In short idk what to do. What's you opinion? (Sorry for spelling and grammar.)

[@aljustiet]

Thank your NordVPN for sponsoring this video.

[@Vee-t2h]

Hi! I just discovered your channel and I want to ask you an important question. I think i have autism but i dont know how to ask my mom to send me to a therapist to get diagnosed because im scared of how she'll react (im scared of her in general). So, what do i do to get a full diagnosis so i can finally realize whether i have autism or not?

[@Lensaya]

I told my mum about autism a while ago and tried to let herself fillout the aspie quiz (bc i recognize autistic traits in her) but she gave up half on the way and said "that's too exhausting". so i let down the topic for a few month and began to just talk about how situations affect me and all she said is "i think you are a ✨highly sensitive person ✨as well, like me" 😐 And never mind how hard I try to confirm her of autism it will result in HSP for her 🤦‍♀ Hope she will understand when I got my diagnosis...

[@hannah-lk3oc]

My parents don’t know about my diagnosis and I am too afraid to tell them. My brother tried to tell our mom about his ADHD and she didn’t take it well. I wish I could tell them but I know they’re not open to it so I’ve given up

[@jamesfarino2729]

I am angel I am demn I am the king in grey I guard this girl I am Cerberus

[@Little_paper_starz]

I do think that I may be autistic, even if im not, i know something's not right with me and I dont understand why. I brought up to my mom once before I think I may be autistic and she told me "Its not autism. It's just anxiety." And while she could be right, it doesnt feel good to be shut down so easily without even having the chance of explaining myself. She does the same thing to my dad, as he has mentioned he is most likely autistic before as well. But, hopefully, if my mom is true to her words, she'll be getting me a therapist due to other reasons, and I'll (hopefully) be able to slowly explore that part of me! Ignore this as just a small vent I suppose, I wish I had the chance to explain myself, but i think she just thinks im trying to fake it for attention to seem cool since im a teen and not that I see it as something that has effected me for years. But im sure ill figure it out someday :3

[@lina-z1c8l]

My dad has add, I’m pretty sure I have autism but I don’t want to tell my parents because we know other autistic people and my mom is gonna say I don’t match them just because I started speaking at 5, I just learned to mask really well, I know I have depression I’m just desensitized at this point, I just want to know if this is all in my head.

[@bighearted6118]

Paige can you please talk about the privilege of being a white low support needs autistic person? I am questioning myself but I feel like I haven’t been told I’m really weird and part of me thinks that is because of my looks (I haven’t been told I “don’t look autistic” or “weird”)

[@Dreykopff]

"Well, if you are a 'professor' about it, you're definitely autistic." Your scripted messages are genuinely good, but you know, they're also coming with...masking expertise and experience. And you're assuming the best parents possible. What I hear happens a lot too is parents wouldn't even try to understand and just negate everything or whatever, and that's when the script would fly outta the window. Oh, that part you say at the end about talking about things not done yet, that isn't an autism/PDA thing, but actually a mostly-everyone thing. Talking about plans and receiving positive feedback is just another way of instant gratification that leads to avoiding the longer and harder path, because hey, you're already getting your dopamine boost from talking about it without actually getting anything done, "so why continue!?"

[@mariakalini4168]

I wouldn't recommend telling your parents you're autistic if your parents are Arab... They will just never understand and it could hurt you for them to know

[@studiotom]

❤❤❤

[@WoohooliganComedy]

💖

[@Joepage69]

I'm back. Some religious guy almost made me go insane. Back to doing whatever I want again. Including typeing this comment.

[@Zebo262]

💙💙💙💙