How to Totally Dis-Empower A

[@NarcCon]

Book Link Below: Weaponised Love -a.co/d/g4bB4MI

[@elstal22]

Narcissists don’t dump you. They FREE you!

[@kathryngracey7993]

I need to be set free from the 25 + years of " Titanic" narcissistic abuse. Please God, help me to be wise and courageous enough to get away before it is too late.

[@yoelalmeida3259]

indeed true

[@irocwellOO3]

After leaving you for dead.

[@antoinettegorman8833]

Praise the Lord

[@tonywilletts4504]

You are never free always be vigilant, that person has marked you, but you sound strong enough to defeat the beast, just always be vigilant you will have heard the words "you will always be mine" I know you will have, you stay strong yes bit be aware they never give up 🤝

[@dclarke1896]

That “narcissistic smirk” is a bone chilling experience. It leaves you at a loss for words. How can someone who claims to care about you take so much pleasure in your pain? One look at that smirk and it will confirm what your gut already knew which is this person doesn’t care about you at all. Remember that smirk every time you may question if the narcissist cares it makes no contact much easier. Hope this helps someone.

[@martyc2637]

I used to try to add some humor to a situation. She would not laugh and say with no emotion " your funny"

[@dclarke1896]

@martyc2637 That was her mask slipping and what no empathy looks like from her. Thanks for sharing. Hope you are staying narc free!

[@edgarjoseph2323]

I could write a book !!!!!!!

[@MaryannMouritz-ir1oj]

​@@dclarke1896 This is so important, as recently I fell into a relationship online, three years ago, after a Covert Narc marriage of 40 years. It was disastrous. Had no idea what I was getting into. Worse still, it was an online romance scam & he was taking my money. I had no idea my ex was a narcissist which predisposed me to fall for this online Narcissist. I went from the frypan into the fire, literally. But, I escaped again, & now 4 months on. Feeling better all the time. It is an addiction for me.

[@MaryannMouritz-ir1oj]

​@@edgarjoseph2323 Me, too!

[@optical-illusion9996]

'Be not deceived, bad company corrupts good manners'. 'Better alone than in bad company '.

[@cathleenburton-noble418]

George Washington said, "Better to be alone, than in bad company".

[@goldilocks3593]

Non-reactivity is a narcissist’s kryptonite. They become incredibly frustrated when you don’t provide the desired response (fear, anger, jealousy, etc.). When you know, you go. As quickly and quietly as possible 😇

[@chotiphalke9401]

No response require s patience but it works

[@thePOWERofART-11]

yes! they want you to engage in the argument with them. Even over something super small.

[@donnasloane9031]

Thank you...

[@gigidayz6936]

Yes! Their frustrated reaction is absolutely palpable! Then...they double down.

[@aurorarene9909]

Yes, using the Grey Rock method drives them crazy! There are ways to play a narcissist, but you have to be willing to leave after you play with them.

[@freespirit9806]

No matter how unreasonable and flat out crazy and mean a Narcissist is acting we have to keep calm. And remember they want us to react , which is validating their false self. Staying true to ourselves means staying on a high frequency. We are soul. Authentic positive. Energy. Source. God is within us.

[@Consiouschoices]

Amen 🙏

[@tammyfitzgerald5336]

🎉🎉yes

[@scleo1959]

Thank you Freespirit. I needed to hear that.

[@Daniela89111]

Beautifully said

[@AV1611b]

IjjJJjl

[@kristinaciminillo9908]

Don't believe them and Don't take their lies, manipulation, and baiting personally!! This video is clear and helpful! Thank you!

[@NarcCon]

Glad it was helpful!

[@sylviacaldwell2139]

​@@NarcConThis video has helped me so much and right on time!! Thank You!!

[@sylviacaldwell2139]

​@@NarcConThis video has helped me so much and right on time!! Thank You!!

[@sylviacaldwell2139]

​@@NarcConThis video has helped me so much and right on time!! Thank You!!

[@transitionsnc]

Once I realized it was all about supply (for narcissists), it was a game changer for me. I removed myself from several situations because I no longer wanted to be food (or some type of appliance) for another person. Let them use someone else.

[@kirabarsmith9353]

Exactly, who wants to be harvested for supply? Especially since narcs PREFER negative supply. So gross.

[@laurewinkelmans9501]

That is such a good analogy. Narcissistic people are like leeches: they literally suck the life out of you if you let them, use you, make a sport out of being toxic and making everything about them. It has been so valuable for me to detach and just see it more objectively: these people simply have a distorted view and their projections aren't the truth. They need to up their false bravado and so they put others down. I'd actually find it comical how they want to make everything into a contest, if it wasn't so damn sad.

[@transitionsnc]

@@laurewinkelmans9501 Great comment. Thank you!

[@NeurosparklyWolf]

Soo true! That and all the crazy set ups they create and realising you are either an actual crazy freak

[@LauriAnssi81]

word.

[@shobhnakapoor1399]

There is an element of evil in them. Your light, love, joy, peace even humour triggers their demons. They are the father of lies, they triangulate, cause discord between people and have zero empathy, remorse and insight

[@AnitaPast-nr9uv]

So very true!

[@monabarber2335]

You are 100 percent right ! They hate the light 💡 that shines within Us ! They are Possessed by Demons 👺

[@veronicakiwanuka247]

Not just an element, they are evil itself

[@edrathephoenix]

The lack of insight is profound.

[@gypsyrayne890]

When a light bulb went off Is this last time he left. I signed lease at apt. He agreed to help with rent and bills. Told me he was moving his mom's stuff into storage. I needed money for bills, He told me he would have money the next morning. He calls the next morning and tells me He was robbed while sleeping in his mother's Apt. That locks hadn't yet been changed . So. No Money for Bills. I Hung Up. Yes! Robbed!! He never Helped me. Ever. Not ever with bills or any kind of money situation. And it is a learned behavior! They won't Change!! Maybe if they get professional Help. But. They Won't! They self medicate, with drugs and Alcohol. They treat a Stranger better than the spouse. It's True! And blame others for Everything Bad that has happened in their life. His Mother was the Exact same Way So is his sister! Entitled and Not an ounce of Accountability of the things they have Done. It's Sad for Them. But if you pity them it just gets Worse. It will always be Pity got them. And it is Exhausting! To the point You can't Breath. So. It's actually a Blessing that they are Gone. I may be Broke. Can't afford to be alive. Living around flying monkeys. But. It's Peaceful. No more BS and Chaos. Secret stuff. Gaslighting making a fool of me in front of others.

[@Onafarmlovinit]

Hard to go through but 💯 worth getting away as fast as possible. 😊

[@pamelabarone5868]

I can relate to this

[@TYGZus777]

There are so many of them and they're all cut from the same cloth. It is just absolutely amazing to me how so many people belive their nonsense. They are award-winning actors and sales people.

[@lesleybrown1583]

They ARE demon possessed 4 yr olds!

[@badassnachos7051]

And why should he help you with money after a breakup? Going off your comments you sound like the entitled one lol

[@susanweaver6946]

They have a high priced bate. The high price is getting attention from YOU. You are paying with your love, your emotions and your soul. Instead of paying them with the golden ticket, pay them with silence and no contact.

[@velvetgardenia]

❤ great advice!

[@Freebird-xg1kl]

I remember watching this beautiful lady a year ago when I was in a completely different place to where I am now. I never thought I’d make it, my mind was s exhausted, I had ambulances out to me because I couldn’t stop shaking and couldn’t deal with the sudden quiet after discard, this was four months pregnant, but when you educate yourself , lucky enough to realise what your dealing with,

[@pelletier4432]

Congratulations to you!

[@badassnachos7051]

He probably left because you were too much to deal with

[@NarcCon]

🌹🌹

[@sll110]

@@NarcCon you really Great therapist

[@ericnorthman9410]

You didn't know it But HOW LUCKY you were !! You are free now, your baby is free. A great place to start your new life with out any nonsense from the narc. You can make a wonderful life for you and your baby..

[@michelleknapp9176]

You Tube literally saved my life. I’ve never been suicidal but I had bad thoughts when the break up first happened. It’s been 4 years. I binge watched KZbin at the beginning. It helped 100% to understand these horrible creatures. I am healed now and feel happy and really good. I won’t put up with any bad people now not for a second. Thanks for validating all the people that need it. Love ya Paula💜💜

[@JohnSmith-wo7ns]

I want to feel how you feel, been 8 months since, so still up and down.

[@user-ey4rc5tu4t]

I think there is some proportion between time spent and health. And, I don’t believe that those claiming an immediate return to their lives pre-narc is true. I think there is a lengthy curve and a lot of rumination. But I couldn’t say with certainty as I was born to a narc.

[@1991windsor]

My relationship ended 4 years ago as well. I know there are times when you think you will never get over it, but time is the best healer. I will never forget, but I refuse to stay stuck in it either. I would never give him that satisfaction. We all heal at our own pace.

[@JohnSmith-wo7ns]

@@1991windsor 9 months on , going thru a tough time again, thinking too much of her, what she's doing etc. I need to stop cos its just prolonging the torture.

[@maytruthprevail4668]

@@JohnSmith-wo7ns It's terrible the ups and downs but don't give up and open the door to the narc again. Binge watching videos related to these insidious, vile, designing character types helped me understand these characters and I let go of the guilt and shame. Then I started looking at them clinically and my mind took over, and my heart took a back seat. I learned a lot from KZbin videos on what makes these odious people tick, and came to terms with much in my mind and heart, thereafter. I wish you luck in your healing journey. May you be covered with unconditional love and pure, divine light.

[@annette2153]

the narc is the inflated balloon, the victim is the needle,,, us survivors of narc abuse need to view it that way. WE are the powerful ones

[@amya9597]

Love that!❤

[@pamelabarone5868]

I hope someone gets something from my comments today. There is hope for you. Other ppl know what you are going through that is why these groups are important you are not alone. If you are feeling hopeless there is hope.

[@maryams8062]

🙏🏾🥺🙌🏾😍

[@JohnSmith-wo7ns]

Thanks pamela

[@1010QUEEN7]

@Mihaela Liptcheva-Ivanova 🎯🎯🎯

[@sharmalarm]

It’s a really great way of putting it. A narcissist will prey on those who show that they believe in others more than they believe in themselves.

[@sll110]

bloody true

[@Consiouschoices]

Well Said.

[@kimrobinson6285]

Very well put!

[@Kalki1122]

Thats brilliant 😮

[@margueritebaca3921]

As soon as you feel their creepy chaos buzzing energy move on. Ignore the words and image. Their chaos energy is contagious and dangerous.

[@Clevelandsteamer324]

Nor everyone you lose is a loss

[@akashiclove]

Awesome!

[@Daniela89111]

After 20 years of torture I am truly happy and wiser for the experience..it took me 5 yrs of soul searching and channels like narc con have saved my life ..THANK YOU!!!!

[@NarcCon]

Wonderful 🌹

[@leonasweny1525]

Hey I’m 70 and finally getting out of a narc relationship with my s### husband. I’m exposing him for what he is.❤❤❤

[@Daniela89111]

@@leonasweny1525 good for you....x

[@ElizabethCramer-s2i]

25 yrs I knew someone was very wrong but didn't know what it was then stumbled on narcissistic personality disorder and he checked EVERY BOX!

[@a7dv7en7t]

I said, “Life is beautiful,” and he gave me a dirty look. Lol. Try it!

[@TYGZus777]

Great topic! Yes, they bait you in front of an audience of their minions. It's so humiliating and disregulating. Power to the survivors!!!

[@cr_m3848]

Can you kindly explain what is meant by them baiting you in front of their minions?

[@kimhumiston2686]

Absolutely true! It's embarrassing and humiliating.

[@OkieDokie-ft5pm]

@@cr_m3848 Why don't you give more of your own history before you start seeming like a suspect trying to trick someone to answering someone for someone else's amusement? I frankly don't trust you!

[@natashabrooks8735]

My dad 80÷ would phone me 10 15 times a day screaming at me moaning about everything, he would scream, ,,your not listening to me !!!! I would say,,,,I'm listening to you what do you want me to say ? . My sister, and his sister at this point had stopped answering his calls. I was at a conference, the police phoned me and said ,,, your dad has called us and said he hasn't had a cup of tea or seen anyone today,,,,, he had cares 4 times a day. His first 24 hr live in carer left abruptly, I moved in to look after him, 3 days in i was knackered,,, I said Dad ,,,,I'm going to take a sleeping tablet and a glass of wine i NEED to sleep, he was CONSTANTLY calling me,,, I woke up 4 hrs later, he was on the floor,,,,he PRETENDED to be dead, I phoned an ambulance and then as I was on the phone he moved, I went hysterical.....6 police men and women later as they carried him back into his bedroom the police asked,,,why??? He said ..to get me back........I never asked. My sister then said it was my fault as I was drinking the whole time , I was not,,,, now avoiding sister,,, Love and light 💓💗💕

[@ggphe]

So many bruised souls still tormented by these evil creatures. Please take it day by day because I promise you when you come out of that fog and that disbelief of who you were involved with ....there's a beautiful peaceful life waiting for you. Darkness before dawn. Hugs to you all x

[@1010QUEEN7]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@topazbrown8473]

Thank you!

[@kimrobinson6285]

❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@leonasweny1525]

Hugs to all to find your inner strenght

[@sharonbice7490]

I just got rid of my younger sister, shes the last narc ,now they all gone. I will never ever deal with a evil enity in my life, ever again!

[@cleodivine83]

Good on you ❤

[@Highvibesandhappy]

No contact ,block and never look back.

[@techmail5820]

Love it! Love it! great answer.

[@sharmalarm]

As soon as I learned about what narcissism really is and the patterns of behaviour that forms a narcissist, I very quickly moved past the deep pain and the sense of loss of my “other half”, as I realised she was just a cardboard cutout of the human she pretended to be. I found it incredibly empowering and realised the only way I can lose my power to her again would be to attempt to communicate with her in any way shape or form. She requires my attention for my supply, and she ain’t getting another ounce of my energy 😑 Love your videos, Paula. Thank you for sharing your understandings 🙏

[@JohnSmith-wo7ns]

Congratulations sam

[@sharmalarm]

@@JohnSmith-wo7ns thank you, John! 🙏😊

[@JohnSmith-wo7ns]

@@sharmalarm no problem. Her loss. Happy future for you. 👍

[@keithstewart7514]

I didn't know my mom was as a Narc til recently, I'm 58yo.

[@UncleBaldy]

@@keithstewart7514 , ' Ditto ' 👍🏼 ( and my sister 😏)

[@vickipacheco9787]

THANK YOU PAULA. If the narcissist knows what they are doing,I believe you're right On this, how can they self reflection or take responsibility for their abuse cycles they use over & Over on victims of their on purpose punching bag mentality???? It diabolical what happened to me & 2 children in a 25yr horrific marriage. I had no idea he was ill with this NPD. ALL of us were adversely affected for sure.nHe passed away with bone cancer some years ago but the damage is still left behind. You have given clarification and healing to this hideous disorder. 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@MetamorphosisButterfly]

I've seen this smirk several times and it hurt even more just to see and realize that they are the devil! And nobody ever sees this.

[@keithstewart7514]

I've witnessed the Smirk that went wider than ear to ear!

[@akashiclove]

Exactly my only boundary or contact ever again is none or with actual third parties if communication is required

[@leonasweny1525]

They are eventually exposed ,just have patience.

[@dgvfsa66]

Losing a narcissist is not a loss

[@jennyskoblikoff173]

It's all gain for those of us who choose to get out!!!

[@emmarae4322]

Don’t ever go back. They are worse and the abuse is amped up and faster.

[@SpiritualTarotbyYvonne]

Wow... I am going through this right now, and they tried every button, and I responded with grace and understanding. I disempowered them, and then walked away. It is so very challenging behaviour, but the key is understand why they do it. Control regulates their emotions. If they can't control you they up the anti, and what you walk away cool and collected. This sends them into a spiral.

[@astrialindah2773]

Very very well said!

[@1010QUEEN7]

Well he's about to spin because he is OUT

[@gigidayz6936]

Absolutely true!!

[@aurorarene9909]

That is how you toy with a narcissist is to act cool, calm, collected when they know they're pushing your buttons, but you don't react emotionally. And you discard them first.

[@transitionsnc]

Paula ~ Great video (as always). "They will bait you into your lower self." Great sentence. In my experience, narcissists are very good at baiting people and making you look like the crazy one. I readily admit that I was not myself when interacting with this one particular person. We're both in our 50s and, in retrospect, it was a lot of drama especially for our age. (I generally live a peaceful life.) At the end, he blocked me. I had never been blocked before and what I realized is blocking is a form of control. You can't respond and if you attempt to do so, you look like the crazy one. So I let the situation go and did not attempt to contact him further. A lot of information came to me after the fact and I realized that this person had the potential to be dangerous and I had dodged a bullet. Please be aware that sometimes these people are used to spiritually attack you. I know that sounds extreme but (sadly), it's true. Be careful who you let into your life.

[@maytruthprevail4668]

Christina I fully agree with you. A so called friend was volcanic when I asked "Do you know what a Narcissist is"? She was tight lipped and fuming, and I didn't realize as I was driving and trying to find a good spot to park. It was a horrible parking spot, and I took it because that devilish narc was insisting I park in that place and nothing else was handy. Got down and went to get something from the car I'd forgotten because of the Narc's evil vibes. The evil Narc was trying to leave me behind and head off, and I needed the wretched creature to show me a particular place. I called out to her to hang on, didn't look down, stumbled and heard a cracking sound....I had a fracture. After finishing my work, dropping off the narc, I headed to the hospital.....it was a fracture. Luckily I have been able to distance myself from the narc and don't plan to go on any more shopping sprees with this individual. I'm pretty certain the Narc was cursing me in her mind and wishing something bad would happen to me. In retrospect I should have realized this was an overt Narcissist and extremely jealous one I was dealing with. I told another friend of mine what happened and I was told to slowly stop talking to the Narc, and not go anywhere near the individual.....keep a good distance, no hi and bye too, not even use a 10 foot barge pole near the Narc....

[@transitionsnc]

@@maytruthprevail4668 I'm sorry you had that experience. Sometimes we don't know people's true nature until we get to know them a little better. As your friend suggested, don't confront her, just quietly let her go. Above all, be discerning in the future. With narcs that can be challenging because on the surface they can be charming and outgoing. But when you actually get to know them, you see their core self. All the best to you.

[@maytruthprevail4668]

@@transitionsnc Thank you Christina, sound advise I am going to follow. The narc has a whole battalion of flying monkeys, all shapes, sizes, different walks of life. The most unnerving thing was I'd just sent in the comment to you and was planning to go out when the narc called my mobile. The timing was so uncanny it gave me goosebumps as I'd told the narc last week that I was busy. Absolute silence after that, and then when I'd just sent in a reply to your comment there's this call from her, which I didn't answer. Really a case of "To the Devil, A Daughter!"

[@keithstewart7514]

Correct. It seems that my extremely religious (evil) mothr😢has groomed me to go to hell with my family since my birth... six decades ago.

[@Poppya2024]

Im 64 and I'm Christian. I suspected my husband of 25 years was cheating. He look a lie detector test and he obviously thought he could outsmart the operator. In the end if wasn't just one woman it was 3. There was absolutely no remorse. I think this is spiritual warfare, the evil he is now displaying is unnerving. I left 3 months ago but unfortunately we still have to sell our home. The healing journey has begun.

[@Clevelandsteamer324]

You are an appliance to them and when deemed defective, you will be replaced as such.

[@AnitaPast-nr9uv]

It actually takes great strength to not react. It doesn’t take strength but weakness to do what they’re doing to you. You are the strong one and they are the weak one

[@Trw-ke5oo]

I am in the triangulation stage, after many series’s of big, small, huge discard. I was drawn back in.. now my rose colored glasses are off. Making my way out, and not going to look back. I realize from listening to your channel how much everything resonates. I’m not crazy. I just have been giving my power away. It’s only when I no longer care about the OPINIONS and see the narcissist as a CHARACTER because they will never show me WHO they are is when I hold the KEY to unlock myself into FREEDOM ❤

[@NarcCon]

Amen

[@kobusdevos4984]

Hi to all the narc survivors on this group. Once the healing start you WILL become a stronger person. Allow Father God to work in you and empower yourself with podcasts of self development and this channel. I am experiencing such bliss after the horrible mental and physical abuse i experienced. Listen to Gary Zukav and similar to strengthen yourselves. God Bless you all and thank you Paula.

[@KatWoodland]

I too, am in my post narcissistic abuse high! Life is sooo fabulous without those pitiful creatures in it. Now I know what these damaged humans are and I know how to avoid them. My narc mom is 87 and worse than ever. Purposefully she is a 33 hour car ride away! The ex narc partner tried to hoover me - again - because he successfully did it multiple times before. That’s how CONDITIONED I was from the narc mother. So when the ex actually walked by the sidewalk in front of my house, while I was sweeping off my deck, I discovered he no longer elicited a response within me. “I don’t see why we shouldn’t stay in each other’s life,” he said. “I have a good reason,” I replied. “I am so much happier without you.” He put his head down and walked away. 😇

[@ChitchatwithHope]

The power of letting go is understanding that they have demoted themselves - by you leaving or them discarding you ! Take the Focus off being discarded you know know what you gave - you know who you are ! Cry and move on they did’t get or meet better they are with someone that is weak someone that think they won a prize We know they too will be destroyed end of story ! You are amazing

[@NeurosparklyWolf]

Another treasure trove of information here Paula ❤ Its like being bullied at school on the playground. They target the ones who give them the best reaction. The biggest reactors allow the bully to feel validated. The kids who don't get it the most were the ones who act indifferent. Something I didn't learn until now 😑

[@valerieriggins3184]

BETTER LATER..... Than NEVER Like Soooo MANY People!

[@OkieDokie-ft5pm]

It is not your so-called overreaction IMHO. They were just pushing at people until they could GET AWAY WITH IT FOR A SECOND. But you're at this website so obviously you've shut it down or are beginning too. Don't beat yourself up like these bullies are HOPING to trick you into believing. Signing off, a 50-yr old dude

[@richyrich4672]

Once I learned about NPD it was game on. I became her Kryptonite. I no longer reacted to her 💩. I just sit back and watch her squirm. She still try’s to get a reaction from me through our grown children but they also know what she is. Freedom is a great thing. Remember your not what they told you you are. They were telling you who they are. Don’t ever give up on achieving the peace in your life it will come.

[@donnastitz1497]

They smirk at your pain that is it in a nutshell

[@chrisg7996]

This is so accurate. The verbal baiting and button-pushing, or the blameshifting that makes you constantly defend yourself....ugh. And they shift gears so fast in an argument it's mind boggling.

[@gigidayz6936]

All 100% true!!

[@Oceans-tz3jo]

And then turn around and accuse you of being the narcissist

[@blueseaswimmer1]

the smirk and then the feeling as you know they are elevating and about to explode and the dead cold look in their eyes frightening

[@leonasweny1525]

I hope you are strong enough to walk away .❤❤No matter how sorry they tell you they are it’s only a smoke screen to reel you in again. Trust me it never changes.

[@blueseaswimmer1]

@ i did walk away - one of the best things i ever did 💕

[@leonasweny1525]

@ hugs from Leona

[@izawaniek2568]

You have nailed it Pola. Our belief in the narcisist and our taking what they say personally makes the narcisists exist. If we do not believe in them , do not engage or personalise what they say , they dispearse like darkness when confronted with the light! Thank you. God bless you.

[@aurorarene9909]

You're one of the best in describing narcissistic behaviour.

[@99luftbaloons1]

Yes, yes, yes, and yes to all of this video, my ex would come at me from many angles to get a reaction so she could then say I'm unhinged or mean, she wouldn't stop until she got a reaction then whatever she did originally was forgotten and the focus was on my reaction. As soon as I told her I didn't believe anything she said, nor did I trust her (because of all the lies and manipulation) she moved on to an easier target she was grooming anyway. Good Riddance! I finally have peace❤️

[@pamelabarone5868]

They do that. I got to the point that I said I do not believe you. (Words did not meet actions) then he was off dating people from work again he was doing it all along. When you get to the point you confront the truth that mask comes off completely in one final attempt to drive a stake through your heart through action they do at that time if they do not crush you spiritually and emotionally if you are still there in the physical then if you are dealing with a psychopath or sociopath weird things happen when they are trying to kill you. Sudden break failure on your car, someone trying to run you off the road while driving, lug nuts removed from a tire, stove gas turned on slowly, they act like they are cooking a meal for you and you taste the bug spray or poison they put on it. They usually give left overs to dog but that day when you dont eat it the dog had enough today. Something important coming up and all of the sudden you are so phyically ill out of nowhere like you were poisoned. Rashes all over your body. A random fire in your home. This runs so deep. Please be careful if you are reading this. Something you said you didnt realize you caused deep narc injury and you wake up in the morning with you dog bleeding to death and they tell you they didnt want to upset you by waking you up she got hurt outside on a car part( u have outdoor cameras they refuse to replay) dog ends up with 27 staples and a chest tube. That was the end for me I woke up real quick . I have seen evil in someone I thought I loved for 30 years. The signs were all there. This is hard to recover from. Especially during lockdowns and pandemic's. I had to move far away and give up a job that was one of the greatest opportunities I ever had. I have been in constant therapy ever since. They will destroy u. They do not love you. They are using you. Please see the signs. I wish I would have in the begining. This took me down to my lowest point in my life. Do not let this get to that point for you. 🙏please listen to me. I hope this reaches the one person I believe God intended it for. I never comment this much. 🙏💕

[@JohnSmith-wo7ns]

Same, they push us and push us, we eventually react and are labelled abusive. Its pathetic how similar they all are.

[@Phoenix-tr1kh]

@@JohnSmith-wo7ns yes and yes 🥶

[@JohnSmith-wo7ns]

@@Phoenix-tr1kh sad but true unfortunately 😔

[@carlocia73]

Yes it because we have figured them out on what they're all about..The true hurts and it hurts them twice as much. They can not handle reality, when caught out from their false illusion and that's when they get " VERY ANGRY " very angry like a child that didn't get there way when little. Which there wasn't law to give them a smack in the back side.🤣🤣🤣

[@junewade5408]

Every word you say Paula is 100 and 10 % true I was with the Narc for nearly 30 yrs hadn't a clue who he was really When he eventually dropped the mask it was like he had changed from Black into White But as you say once you KNOW its like winning the Lottery because now you understand fully what's happening and its the beginning of your healing from that point on Thank you Paula

[@badassnachos7051]

lol so your with this dude 30 years and all of a sudden everything goes to shit I don't buy it you just wanted to go out and cheat and are you a Dr because women like to throw around the narcissist word all the time I think women project how they feel about themselves on to other people

[@amyteurlife9408]

Yes once ur angry. They smirk, stop eye contact if there were any and get busy with something else, even walk away.

[@lorraineseiler7145]

My daughter in law is what I believe is a narcissist. Recently when I was with her and I was quiet and nonreactive at the end of the day she shouted "what is wrong with you!".

[@pelletier4432]

They do want to drag you into the pit of despair to gleefully watch you try to stand up for yourself. Don't play. The vending machine was such a good analogy!

[@svetlavalcheva6092]

Yes, he was enjoying every moment of my suffering and struggles. I ask him- how can you be so cruel? The answer was silent treatment and more ignore! 10 months after this relationship I'm feeling better and on 60% healed! He is back with his previous ex, that he always called her crazy and put me in triangulations ... and he is making her totally dependent, sth that I sensed and run away!

[@scleo1959]

Paula, your analogy of watching an actor on television really hit home for me. Although I ended the relationship with ex narc, I allowed them to stay in my life. What a deadly mistake. Only through your videos have I learned about the “narcissistic cycle.” It surely continues. I feel I’ve lost precious time in not realizing that, but grateful that I know now.

[@sheilamurry9875]

Baiting you emotionally will cause great anxiety,that is your body telling you something is off. Connecting on/with each other's emotions will cause peace and joy because we are open genuinely to each other's emotions and caring, to have growth and fulfillment in one another. There is a HUGE difference. Think logical

[@bf6774]

💯 true. You just described 18 years of my marriage. At the end you realize they are nothing. They should be treated as nothing.

[@keneishagrant3485]

I have never come across anyone that described exactly what a narcissist is like you have done...This exactly the person I'm dealing with ...he seems so innocent but when He showed me who he is ..Its like the devil himself and tells me how much the people love him and they even call him the Government....Its also true that apart from control they want something else..He wants my house....

[@breakthrough1019]

Paula ❤️ the penny did drop when the narcissist got me to lose composer .. I saw the evil smirk on his face and knew then this was evil all the way .. he saw me crying and in pain and video tapped me .. it was awful .. that led me to understand that I was dealing with someone toxic

[@lisbethbird8268]

That is the final dealbreaker, isn't it? Never doubt what you understood.

[@Rueben7-q3r]

Just went through this exact experience, still unnerved , and trying to understand why people go out to try and destroy others

[@nothingmakessense2]

The smirk!! She lied, had me falsely arrested , removed from my home, my children removed from my community. The moment the police turned around I can never forget HER SMIRK.

[@KatWoodland]

That smirk is the universal giveaway. Narcs smirk when they think they’ve pulled one over, and/or when they successfully goad you into an argument. Narcs feed off of conflict.

[@NarcCon]

Awful 🌹

[@techmail5820]

You know the truth and sooner or later God always makes justice.

[@leonasweny1525]

I hope you are ok now .❤❤ Stand up and shine.

[@MrPaulhr]

Your words are incredibly accurate as always. I recently witnessed that persona switch and then the malignant smirk after only 8 weeks dating in my most recent brush with one. That was enough for me to walk away and nc. I’ve spent a lifetime attempting to sustain relationships with them…no more, I know what comes next now…always.

[@gigidayz6936]

Oh yes. That malignant smirk!! Know it SO well!

[@glempy]

They can be rendered powerless. It's completely within our control. Reach in and constantly remind yourself of your inherent value. Reach out and deprive them of the ability to harm. Don't give your energy to something worthless. Render them powerless. Find a support system of family and friends. Take yourself back. Best wishes for strength and courage.

[@Daniela89111]

These people are a menace and what they get away with in my eyes is criminal

[@kathleenharris-officialmus261]

I was in a band who were very happy. I had asked for a backing Vocalist and our Drummerhad said his girlfriend had been desperate to join the band for a long time, so I invited her to join us. From the moment she sat down, she told me that she wanted my position. I was told by another band member to be firmer with her about what her Lines are after she kept singing mine. So although I said nothing in practice, I sent her the lines as instructed by the bassist. She then created a massive drama accusing me of bullying, when these lines was all I had ever said, and ran with that false narrative. She bullied me out of the Band by accusing me of bullying her. It's a disgusting situation to be in. She had achieved this within 2 weeks of joining our once very settled band.

[@NarcCon]

Time May sort this one out Kathleen 🌹

[@1010QUEEN7]

She is toxic she will dismantle the band they will be sorry they ever let her in

[@davidlinaker6920]

Oh my word yet again Paula spot on… at 10:29 of this video my ex reacted with howling tears and sobs I was told after she realised after two years of separation and soon to be divorce that she had instigated that how dare I meet another… she then proceeded to kill any relationship with my children and that’s now six years on. Ironically the woman I had met was too a narcissist but at least I had started the process of learning and educating myself and I am now Nark free and on my own contently. Your videos as well others are literally life saving.

[@NarcCon]

🙋‍♀️🙏🌹

[@UncleBaldy]

I'll second that 👌🏼👍🏼. These video clips are really really helpful and massive light bulb 💡 moments at times when you suddenly get it & find yourself going Yes yes yes . 👍🏼 God bless this Lady 🙏🏼

[@sallylibby8254]

Must know this: with a narcissist there will be no happy life or ending. The only happiness will be the day you finally are free of them and begin healing from the crazy making. Every narc uses the same blueprint for how to control and disempower you. It’s a game for them and they enjoy it. Watching you disintegrate is empowering for them. It’s all a negative power dynamic. Don’t feed them. It’s a total waste of time.

[@MissShellBayleaf44]

Re-Empowerment Is Golden🥇 We can do it! ❤🎉

[@wendylou8963]

He left and then my visit with the grandson was cancelled. I went no contact so the narc told lies to the son so he worried about my coming. So I blocked them too as I'm no longer putting others needs above my own. Never been happier now

[@بالجيريان]

That narc smirk is real I caught it on my sister after I was the most emotionally distressed I’ve ever been; after I was abused and slandered by my mother. I called her out by saying why are you smiling and she immediately denied it while she was still smirking. Hearing you describe how it feels to be confused As to why someone you’ve always looked out for is enjoying watching you lose yourself solidified my choice in blocking her, and the rest. What a joke all these years I was being fooled into regulating her emotions along with everyone else that played the victim then blamed me for everything.. and when I’m not around everyone is having a ball and smearing my name. F narcs, f living a life in service to abusers. May God grant us relief in this life and the next insha’Allah Ameen

[@chotiphalke9401]

I agree to each word. I m married to a narcissist and it's only getting worse. He has started troubling our daughter too. It's very very difficult to stay with such people

[@mildredarmstrong9646]

You are a blessing in My life🙏🤗❣️ I am 70 years old!! and I was lost and very sad By a family member and I was Blind and broken hearted 14mo free thank God now 🙏I am finally getting my life back 🙏💔 After being very sick from what she did to me😔 Never will I let her back in my life🙏she can't be Trusted!!!!

[@lorrainedevlin6409]

Ignoring anragonistic ways,gets them bored and they look for another target.

[@skinnybear5743]

Narcissists sow the seeds of discontent.

[@fokkerfilms560]

When I blew up reactively at my narc sister she smirked at me and then told everyone who would listen that I frightened her. Surely, frightened people don't smirk evily at the person they're supposed to be frightened of?

[@Kathleen-g9k]

My Covert Narc daughter stopped speaking to me, never explained, turned it around and told family I stopped speaking to her. So I stopped trying. She kept 'triangulating'. Overt Narc son decided he needed to lecture me , in a restaurant, his "go-to" abuse, in public, at a dining table with others present. I told him I was not going to gossip about his sister. He kept pushing.....and did not expect me to raise my voice in public when I said Stop!!! Now he is not speaking to me... So I'm working through the truth of my healing with these videos. Thank you. Within a few weeks I have changed years of wrong thinking about myself.

[@elstal22]

My brother and sister were none too happy that my mother made me her executor. At her home following the funeral, I wasn’t taking the bait with each attempt my adult brother made, until he erupted in fury and physically assaulted me. I wound up in a fetal position on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably in a complete C-PTSD melt down. When I pulled myself together enough to sit up, my older sister was sitting in a chair, staring at me with a look of smirking distain. I walked away and left everything with them. That was in 2017. I feel very fortunate that I live in a different part of the country. Healing isn’t easy, but it is so much harder if you are forced to have further interactions.

[@NarcCon]

🌹🌹

[@TRuh4You]

Have noticed that I feel drained. Hot and cold... I do not get loud...hes does! I even retreat in my own home. That smerk and self praise is so ugly! I do not want this!!!!!

[@collie8]

that vending machine made me laugh - really good analogy 😀 they are like kids pushing all buttons without thinking, eventually wanting to destroy the machine when no candy pops out. I have living picture of my narcs in my mind - standing in front of that machines with big eyes.

[@NarcCon]

🤓

[@chark2718]

Been there. He is smirking, totally unmoved by the hurt, anger, and he managed to get me to react with to and get me to break my own rules and annihilate myself in the process. Evil.

[@jrooneo9496]

I'm happy that you see it as I do, bc these videos, these exposures, do save lives. Teaching others to turn this pain into power is essential to healing, moving forward, n thriving.

[@ChristinARitchie]

Thank you for your work. I did not understand what a narcissist was. I left the country and went no contact intuitively and began to gather myself, then I came across your channel and now I see everything so clearly. I just couldn't understand why he did the things he did. I've taken four months to focus on me, and watching your videos daily to keep my ever forgiving heart in alignment with my mind so I do not fall back into another cycle. 8 years is enough of the confusion. I'm not angry any more, because as you say, having the information makes it all make sense and I choose me, my path, my soul. I have to go back to where we will be in each other's neighbourhood, but lucky for me, we were not living together. I know the tests will arise, but your channel is here to remind me, until I need reminding no more. Eternally grateful ❤🙏

[@harley96813]

I go living on my own and I put boundaries of all toxic peoples around me...

[@tammyfitzgerald5336]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@Lulee693]

Recently, my “husband narc” who I fled the state from over a year ago and unfortunately recently accepted a Hoover… he’s now been baptized at a local Christian church and has been shaming me… lol Can you please do a video on “why the narcissist suddenly becomes a holy roller… and begins to shame me… for being a sinner?” …. Omg… I can’t believe how sick this is until I actually said it here…

[@grittygoddess]

It’s pretty simple/ he has to make himself better than you in his mind And he’s projecting his own shame by shaming you- you don’t have to accept it (don’t agree with his delusions) and it goes right back to him That actually what this video is about! That’s how to disarm them Don’t buy the bullshit don’t play the game- don’t agree with their false reality Energetically it send them for a loop They need our reaction/response/acknowledgement to sustain their delusions Don’t play the game

[@leonasweny1525]

Oh my God he can’t let you go in peace .Stay strong and know the people who know you will not believe him. Babtized is he ,well if he’s looking for redemption he’s too late ,there’s a special place in hell for non humans like him .❤❤stay strong

[@lindamarcola1324]

I was married to him 30 years! Knew he was "different-sucked all the air out of the room, wore rose colored glasses and lived in his world. I have never been around mental health people so did not realize what I was facing. He was a flirt but good to me, loving, kind, considerate, then whooped marriage fell apart. Tried everything- marriage counseling, talking to pastor, went to marriage retreat but no one recognized he had a problem for 2 years. How do you forget 40 years of life?! He has but I fight everyday!

[@NarcCon]

🌹🌹

[@sheilamurry9875]

Cold-hearted with no empathy and no remorse PERIOD Nothing more. Logical thinking at it's best

[@ericnorthman9410]

OMG I've been dealing with this my whole life. I only recently in really the last year at 66 years old understood the most about what has been going on. But I guess "better late than never". So I am grateful for the education to help me save myself ...

[@valerieriggins3184]

BASICALLY! Saving Yourself 💯👌💪

[@sayusayme7729]

63 and free

[@leonasweny1525]

I’m 70 and have put up with this for 40 years,now I have the strength to expose and leave.

[@leonasweny1525]

@@sayusayme7729shine

[@ziziscorsese9475]

The worst thing is to live in an apartment building, and meet up with a narcissistic maintenance man. It’s unnerving. And to think they have the key to your apartment.

[@marcbpsychology]

narcissists are cowards, grey rock the shit out of him

[@shobhnakapoor1399]

You can complain to the property manager

[@jessluck6583]

Security camera in my apt kept a nosey covert landlord out of mine. He wouldn’t even come to the door anymore! Get one w a mic and yell at them and lets you save clips. Make sure he isn’t tech savvy. Use a secure camera brand that helps walk you through how to assign to a secure part of your router/web.

[@lilis667]

I'm very grateful, as soon as I knew about it, the first thing I did was prepare my escape in silence and get ahead of what he could do.

[@dylanstarratt6137]

You are really good at teaching/sharing this. By truly knowing it, you can truly give it. Your videos are like throwing out rescue lines to many hundreds of people, reducing real suffering and stress-related symptoms and illness. By simply sharing as you do - so as to raise to one's awareness, unconscious patterns in the mind simply loose their former invisible and hidden hellish grip. The light and truth are healing. Thank you so much.

[@lb9171]

So accurate, …in hindsight one of the hundreds of times he was saying something hurtful to me I blurted out that it doesn’t matter what you say because you are always wrong. This startled him and was a turning point toward the full force discard.

[@majellakeane9989]

OMG ! After been with a TP since I was 19 ! 40 plus years 😊 he is getting married again on 13th October! Uninvited his 2 daughters!! NOW has produced a PODCAST on my great life travelling the world and and how great he is !

[@PupSpoiler]

Wounded are the best healers!! Thank you, Paula!

[@OkieDokie-ft5pm]

10:50 "You taking things personally is one of the downfalls of the narcissist. As in taking the BAIT." Agreed! That being said, if you do it one too many times, DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP, just make a quiet exit strategy instead!

[@MrNatural73]

Your weakest Truth. Is 1000% BETTER than their strongest lie❤

[@susanwilcox5763]

What got me to KZbin channels related to narcissism was being triangulated. The narc would act in a loving way to his female friends- doi g favors for them that he would never do for me; worrying about them and making sure one in particular got home safely every day, but not worrying if I got home safely ever. Then when I would complain, he would say I was overreacting or being jealous. I know myself. I’m not a jealous or controlling person. That’s how I started to Google these concerns. Then I found videos like this one- an excellent video, by the way!!! I knew something was very wrong with his behavior. He would tell me every day how much he loved me. Then proceeded to triangulate me every day, especially via social media as well, connecting with women who are “friends”.

[@JohnSmith-nc6ul]

Thanks

[@NarcCon]

Thank you so much John 🌹

[@scottwwsi]

when I finally realized what reactive abuse is, that was a huge thing that saved me.....I threw naivete out the window. and when I knew it, the ex knew it, because I wouldn't react. then IT would do every kind of weird sh*t IT could think of....the most bizarre things.....I rendered IT completely powerless. great video.

[@KatWoodland]

17:13 This is how they will bait you into your lower self. This wonderful lady is spot in. My “relationship” turned into reactive abuse while I lived with this pitiful creature. Yes. I became ugly. My blood pressure went up. Now I am content, happy, living my best life, and ecstatic for FINALLY KNOWING why I was such a sop. It wasn’t because I was a bad person. Au contraire. My pathologically narcissistic mother groomed and conditioned me, to give up my power. Now I know it’s because of my beauty and God given talents and goodness. She was jealous! She was competing with me! What a sick so-called mother. Thank you for this video and lovely community. Empathy reigns!

[@NarcCon]

🌹🌹

[@KatWoodland]

I have such gratitude for how you speak Truth. Many thanks from across the pond.

[@AnitaPast-nr9uv]

I have often commented to myself about the smug and smirkiness of this person. And how they totally get off on your demise. It’s truly a sickness

[@JS-hb8nk]

Smirked as though that was the outburst it was waiting for. Evil.

[@lorrainedevlin6409]

Them picking another source,is the best thing that could happen,its your way out,the time to escape. Yes they try to get you to think your the one with all the shortcomings and lucky to be with perfect narc. Blame and put downs, to make you loose your confidence and real identity.

[@lucindamichetti749]

Fantastic video Paula, thank you so much for making things so clear and encouraging for us to continue believing in ourselves and not the narcissist. Since I’ve been watching you it’s helping me heal and away of a clear understanding that gives me more strength every day to know that I’ll never go back to the thing that was hurting me so bad and expect it to be the thing that could heal me! They only want to hurt you!

[@NarcCon]

🙏🌹

[@bronwyntanner4501]

In my 14 year insane marriage to the passive aggressive covert narcissist, I was the reactive abuser. It was hell. I was so ashamed of my behaviour! Happy joyous and free since June 2017.

[@nh55871]

Same here and the fool pools his camera out every chance he gets