How to View Narcissistic Parents As An Adult

[@kimberlygonzales5184]

My mother has always secretly hated me

[@BetaBuxDelux]

Probably jealous of your youth and looks. They function on a surprisingly primitive level in some cases.

[@BetaBuxDelux]

Wow, my comment got deleted? All I said was she was likely jealous of your youth and looks.

[@HotTamaleez]

Mine was not so secret about it. 😅

[@kimberlygonzales5184]

@@BetaBuxDelux well you're not far off, but she saved my life when I was just a baby as she fell down a flight of icy stairs in platform boots, and ever since then she had back issues and I was forced to care for her throughout the rest of my childhood and adolescent years. To this day she demonizes me and protects my brother no matter how bad he is.

[@kimberlygonzales5184]

@@HotTamaleez mine wasn't really secret about it either but she denied it despite her treatment of me and constant abuse.

[@RavenMoon1989z]

I have BPD, PTSD and other mental health issues from all the trauma and abuse I suffered through childhood and adolescence from growing up in a narcissistic household.

[@FromSurvivingToThriving]

I'm so sorry! Narcissistic parents create so much trauma in their children!

[@RavenMoon1989z]

@FromSurvivingToThriving thanks ❤️ and yes they definitely do.

[@katkat521]

I view my mother as someone who wants to control every aspect of me and is jealous of me.

[@tonybolakowski6076]

There is a connection between parent fixing and codependency tendencies. You are the real deal Michele. Your authenticity shines through these videos. The old.. Parentification routine. 😊

[@HotTamaleez]

This episode came right after I walked out of my therapists office after I literally said some of the things you covered. Your answers were better than my therapist’s. Thank you for your analogies of the bridge and the plant in the desert. I see my family members as hurt but I need to leave my compassion for them behind just as I did our relationships. I’m ready to be my own hero instead of trying to be theirs.

[@Etherealvioletco]

So helpful as I navigate my narc parent getting older 🙏🏻 thank you!❤

[@sherriepawlikowski4935]

My parents are gone. Both passed in the mid 90's. I was in a 10 year relationshit before I went NC. Only learning about narcissism 5 years ago. I thank it was my dad and I also know my grandma on my mom's side is one also. I'm confused because my dad did do things for us and I believe my mother was a very good woman but I do remember a few things she leaves me to question. I'm 62 yrs. Old and the oldest of 5 children.

[@FromSurvivingToThriving]

I can relate - it is confusing when you try to look back and understand what happened. Something to keep in mind - narcissists, especially covert narcissists have two faces - so it's more difficult to spot than say an overt narcissist.

[@xiaoxi-chelsea-akiko434]

I am sorry for your loss, Michele. I have been following you since 2019 and thanks so much for helping me with my journey (from discovery to healing). I can deal with my Narcissistic parents much better these days. Not sure how I would feel once they are gone. Grief might different from other people who lost their parents. Maybe you can do a video talk about the Grief part?

[@Shadowman...]

I view my narcissistic parent as someone who I know loves me but has gone through trauma and abuse in childhood which makes them act against their own control. The best word would be Ambivalence.

[@randigut2490]

Hurt people.... hurt people. Amen; may the Holy Spirit fill up hearts with His genuine, nearly overwhelming love that we deserve. Our Lord, our Father, has now healed & reared me; the correct way! I'm so very Thankful 🙏

[@BetaBuxDelux]

I try to view her via a lens of sympathy. But when I speak to her I’m reminded it is sad that she is so primitive. I try to have compassion because she was neglected and abused. That being said, you do have to have boundaries so you don’t get sucked into the manipulation game. Oh well… Don’t let a troubled childhood ruin your day. 🎉

[@Toryswims]

I view them as manipulators because I’ve spent time in a mental health hospital & they still kept information from me about where my child was & I instinctively knew I couldn’t fully trust them even without knowing the full story but I think I’m still dealing with the trauma & trying to get through it as the real me

[@AbadyAngel]

this is helpful

[@andyserkiz3384]

The best perspective on my narcissistic parents I got from understanding the mechanics of how the false self was formed after watching many videos from Prof Sam Vaknin. Basically, he claims that the real person is not there. When they were about five years old the real person merged with the imagine one (which was their response from too much trauma). Since then they ceased to be a real person. It's like a child having a never ending hissy fit which forces them to be at war with reality.

[@TrevorHamberger]

This makes sense to me when I think about both of my siblings. I'm going to have to look that guy up

[@CarlMassop]

Thanks for sharing

[@FromSurvivingToThriving]

You're welcome!

[@RebeccaBauer-s8f]

I never had a mother.

[@BetaBuxDelux]

Same, which is why I roll solo. But don’t let that ruin your day, please.

[@alltheworldsastage.]

You’re blessed

[@alltheworldsastage.]

Two of them. Which is the worst.

[@Emceemami]

Bridge building analogy works perfectly! I’m visual, so this is really helpful to picture.

[@mzm2644]

I view my parents as adult children

[@FromSurvivingToThriving]

True!!! I can relate

[@franklinbacon3565]

She was a mess, ever since I knew her. What seemed like dementia, was actually her true self, throughout her life.

[@kericaswell6084]

I can relate to this one big time.

[@sd31432]

I view them as childish and immature

[@lrooney813]

Evil… both work together! She is cold as ice & he is so lovely… except behind closed doors!

[@TrevorHamberger]

No I don't know about all of you but this turned out to be an ace in my hole. Every other person I know was babied by their parents and turned out horrible because of it. I turned out good because I was abused by mine. I got lucky. Most people don't turn out good because of their abuse but I did. I have two siblings that went the opposite way. Both evil.

[@mariajmc6557]

Yes... Those in my family with kind parents aren't achievers... Jesus helped me be great...

[@TrevorHamberger]

@mariajmc6557 in a lot of ways there can still be narcissistic abuse even with kind parents. I've heard of a lot of stories of people whose parents have meant well for them but it still qualified as abuse. It's akin to taking things too far in terms of nurturing your child

[@mollykeady8292]

Stuck

[@NarcissistHex-nf9eq]

Hurt people, hurt people. Amen; my mother was a malignant narcissist and probably one of the biggest reasons why I even started my channel here.

[@Emceemami]

I view them as stubborn children.

[@jaredmclaughlin7806]

Predatory