How To Win Your Soul Back From The Narcissist

This Podcast looks at reclaiming your essence back post discard with a Narcissist. Interacting with a Narcissistic individual leaves a person depleted on all levels, spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. Often times we are left with a deep sense of soul loss due to the narcissistic illusion that we have no value.
Coaching - [e-mail]
Audio only version available now on all major Podcast platforms under (Narc Con)

[@anyways661]

Don't underestimate the need for Rest once you get away from the situation with a narc!!! Sleep! Rest! Take extra time in your daily tasks... I was so exhausted it was unbelievable how bone tired living with the narc had made me. Worse than any physical illness I've ever had, has been recovering from this abuse.

[@cyndihowland2741]

Angela Saucier, Yes, very true statement. I have begun Brain Spotting Therapy this year 2020. The last three weeks have been focused on one spot about the truck driver I had been dating. It was so emotionally draining that I could not keep my eyes open and slept on and off during my session. I had no idea how draining it was until the session was over. It was a eye opener. May you continue to heal on your journey and continue to be blessed. Thank you for sharing. Sincerely, Cyndi

[@anyways661]

@@cyndihowland2741 Cyndi... I had never heard of brain spotting??? But I will check it out. Thank you for the kind wishes💖 So many people do not figure out how to set themselves free, we are blessed to be here, now.

[@stephenrandall484]

Yep adrinal fatigue

[@anyways661]

@@stephenrandall484 Does anyone here have experience with healing oneself from adrenal fatigue? Would love to share ideas about this.

[@stephenrandall484]

@@anyways661 Morning Angela. Bit of a long winded response im afraid. I can only relate my history, take from it what you will. After the discard went to a good doctor one who didnt prescribe many pharma drugs. mostly natural if he could. Told him i couldnt think straight my mind was in a fog. Had blood test . He said something should have been 80% but mine was 5% Gave me a list of natural tablets to take.Had to get them imported from usa ithink. from a company called vita cost. vitamins mostly if not all.replaced what was used up in my body due to stress walking on eggshells ,you know the story. I mentioned to him that when i unexpecteddly confronted the ex about the affairs i had just found out about,her eyes turned black. To which he was triggered. "i cant talk about that im a doctor"!! He then asked if i had ever read C.S. Lewis book called the screw tape letters? i hadnt.so he said i should. Just as i was about to leave the surgery had my hand on the door handle in fact. He said,"Stephen, their every where." The screw tape letters is about how one demon trains another demon to controll a person. I would say Angela Get a blood test done.check your adrinals out. adrenals are a regulator.May have to find a good doc though. Not some interlectual idiot. Sorry cant help more thats all iv got.A month of tablet and rest and i could focus on the nightmare i was waking up to. Good luck. Be happy to hear how you go. Steve.

[@danielhiam5108]

Out of all the stupid things they teach us in school you would think this should be at the top of the list to teach us about these snake type people. It would save so many people.

[@NarcCon]

Yes personality disorders cluster B’s should be taught for sure I totally agree Daniel 🙏

[@psychictruth5037]

@@NarcCon 👏👏👏

[@psychictruth5037]

💯👏👏👏

[@konstantinossalonikis2431]

Homer, around 800 BC : ...Odysseus landed on the island of the nymph Kalypso where he spent 7 years immersed in deception, oblivion and isolation. He totally lost his memory his companions and his goals at the manipulations and sexual charms of Kalypso who wanted to keep him as a trophy only for herself. The name Kalypso means Covert!! ..,he escaped with the help of Athena and landed on the island of Faiakon and saved by the princess Nausika. These islanders were known as friends of humanity and possessed the flame of truth and light. Nausika helped him recover his memory and understood the deceptions of Kalypso that cost him 7 years of his life and finally sailed for his ultimate goal, to return to his kingdom. The name of Nausika means the savior of sailors.

[@stephenrandall484]

Yes Daniel. education is run by the state. The state is run by Goverments..Research bodies are owned by the narc controllers to supply the statistics upon which goverments base their decisions.

[@ianmckee9500]

For all the newly awakened .it does get easier in time . The rollercoaster starts to level out ie the low points in time are nowhere near the depths they used to be . Those flashbacks you get don’t trigger you as much as they did back when it was raw. Soon you will smile at the flashbacks as they will only be there to allow you to connect the dots. We went through this for one reason only - To awaken our consciousness. we will go on and live amazing lives with this new education. We are so lucky in a way to have woken up .

[@NarcCon]

I really love your words Ian they will help a lot of people at the start of the journey thank you 🙏

[@ianmckee9500]

@@NarcCon I’m finally free after 17 years of gas lighting that could have ended me . Long journey ahead but I’m starting to love life again .

[@psychictruth5037]

@@ianmckee9500 🙏

[@susanmcmahon4733]

EXACTLY, we don't have to live under their control anymore, life does get better.

[@stephenrandall484]

Nicely put Ian

[@erikadutra1928]

I am in tears of gratitude to find you. I’m broken since November 07 2020... I discovered so much from a man I judged was the most perfect, sweet, caring... but I ripped my soul back, sleeping in my car, lost everything, but still try to keep up... I love to know one day I will be healed too 😢🙏🏽

[@NarcCon]

Erika let no man judge you..I can only feel your a very beautiful soul please do everything you can to save yourself as it seems you already have to build your life now for you..no one can tell you who you are..you tell yourself and it better be very very good..stay with us darling girl 🌹

[@truffaut650truffaut6]

You are not alone. Much love from Austrian survivor of narc abuse. Stay strong. ❤

[@almohvn33]

Praying for you .. right now. I hope you are well!

[@WillYum-m3q]

I hope you are doing much better now. ❤

[@roberttrough6439]

Survive then thrive. It takes time often more time than is easy to bare. You have that in you I hear it in your voice. Structure yourself. Get your finances together, find ways to get food and clothing and other essentials. Helping others by volunteering gets your mind off your troubles and hands busy. Often people will see your work and hire you. They may even help to find you employment is necessary. Being around people for part of the day or week is helpful. Never ever talk down on yourself. These people that tell us about narcs are wonderful I agree with you. You have more value than others see in you. Make that value seen and heard. Talk to Jesus who knows your plight. If asked He will help in ways you may not understand at first. Praise God for you. Your going to find a new inner strength you never thought possible. You will value life greater than the average person. Keep up your strength. God loves you in more ways than you can think or imagine. Follow Gods lead for your life. Wow to be in your shoes and receive the blessings is wonderful. Pray in all things and be the spectator how it all happens. You got this! Thank you!

[@eddiepratts4710]

I can’t believe that there are people who do such horrible things to people and don’t even care how it Affects them spiritually

[@micktaylor1991]

Eddie’s Pratt’s it’s hardest thing you’ll ever aft to recover from Eddie. I done 6 and a half years with the covert narc girlfriend before she walked. It killed me I loved her so much. A year out and the pain his easier. They are truly wicked . Keep fighting you will look back and realise something greater has gone on. All the best mick

[@psychictruth5037]

@@micktaylor1991 💯👏👏👏

[@tauruswinds37]

THEY ARE AGENTS OF DARKNESS WITH NO SOUL OR CONSIOUSNESS ..... THEIR DESTRUCTION IS DESTINY WRITTEN.

[@susanmcmahon4733]

This was exactly how I felt, I just couldn't understand how me ex of 28yrs just totally n utterly discarded, moved bank accounts so left with absolutely NOTHING stopped paying the mortgage n off he went to party with new supply, will NEVER NEVER forget the pain I felt I was n my children were put on a rubbish heap n left to burn, but I did rise fr the ashes, got myself a WONDERFUL Solicitor who wasn't taking any crap, he was furious with me n even rang and said what the hell had I done going to Solicitor, had no contact fr him was left to rot but once I got myself going n got legal had 17 missed calls from him when I was on the way for appointment with my Solicitor, I just kept pushing forward n through the pain, my heart goes out to ANYONE who felt like this only thing I keep telling yourself is that they are not well, it was soul destroying but kept going.

[@john7148]

Amen...but they will in time.

[@TheLordsbattleaxe]

I don't remember a whole lot of good times with the narcissist right now. It was mostly miserable.

[@psychictruth5037]

🙏

[@robynadams6938]

Me too. I can't remember love bombing.

[@stephenrandall484]

Thats the start of the realisation process

[@deborahcollins1100]

I definitely agree with you also. I cannot remember good times with my narcissistic husband of 38 yrs! Absolutely just can’t remember any. 😢

[@TheLordsbattleaxe]

@@deborahcollins1100 sounds like me but with my 'parents'.

[@eddiepratts4710]

It’s so true I trusted my ex with all my heart and even though I did get red flags and the inner self telling me to leave her...I didn’t listen I’m so great full for you and everyone of you guys who give me the information I need to heal within my soul....

[@NarcCon]

Mutually helping each other Eddie 😊🌸

[@stephenrandall484]

Hi Eddie..Ditto on that.wish the red flags came with sound.to alert the blind.

[@christoole1488]

Little steps and time...understand the lesson. Getting advice from people like you in these KZbin posts. All is making me stronger.

[@NarcCon]

We share our healing Chris 🙏🌸

[@psychictruth5037]

💯👏👏👏

[@SuzieQ7983]

So wonderfully articulated. I wish I had found you a year ago!

[@freespirit9806]

Recovery is a beautiful thing. I see my experience with the Narc as a blessing . I thank God that I made it out of this evil web and today I know that my soul is a precious gift. it allows me to be authentic. It allows me to love myself and others. It allows me to be true to myself and others. I can sense if a person s fake. I take my higher power with me wherever I go. I’m learning to trust myself again and others. I love to listen to your videos. And I share my experience and hope with others. ☮️

[@NarcCon]

Thanks so much..your a huge support here..I love your comments 🌸🙏

[@heidibennett6622]

Agreed. I'm at that place, just over a year post discard. Done TONS of research, healing workshops, courses etc. Still ruminate but less intensely. Still feel pained regularly ie. every day BUT it is less. Self talk becoming more positive and I've kept 15 pounds off. The best part - my friendships deepened significantly as they held me in my deep suffering and for the first time I don't feel alone in life. It feels like a long road but there's no turning back . Slowly finding myself and more and more grateful I got out. So glad I am me and not a person who can't love 💖

[@sunflower7532]

Intermittent crumbs, if you miss the narc, go play the poker machines until you run out of coins. How do you feel? Count every win against the losses and that was your relationshit with the narc. Knowing the machines are programmed to keep you coming back, are you going to trust it? Look around some people are continuing to play, take a good look. In Australia these pubs are dingy and dark when outside the sunshine’s.

[@stephenrandall484]

hey Ellie, fellow ozzy here(qld sunshine coast).The RSL is just a way of getting back the pension money.under the pretext of patriot

[@knowtruth2773]

@Sunflower Great Analogy! Made me laugh! 😂 I can tell by your vernacular that you watch Dave, Narcology unscripted too!! Thanks for making me smile!! 😁 LoL the last time I won at a Casino, my ex had given me $20 to gamble on. I got lucky and turned that $20 into $80. Before I told him I was cashing out with $80, I thought, 'Watch him ask for the $20 back. Sure enough, he lost his money and said, "Are you going to give me my $20 back?" I said "Nope". Even though we were married for about 27 years by then it was still 'His' $20 in his mind. Somehow knowing he was actually going to ask for the 20, I felt Greatly satisfied telling him No!! 🤭

[@anyways661]

I do not have a single happy memory of my N-ex husband that doesn't IMMEDIATELY connect to a painful memory of time spent with him. Not a single memory!!! I tried myself on this, and No... It's true!!! Creating a Fake happy moment only to destroy those feelings at the earliest opportunity... Yields alot of emotional energy to the Narc... Checks alot of boxes for the Narc. He tried to keep me living in the Grey area between my light and his darkness. Confused until I completely separated... And could see clearly again.

[@NarcCon]

Yes..and they say evil is confusing reality..thanks Angela 🙏

[@valeriebogand7073]

Young widow swept away into a fantasy world and eventually discarded many times . 5 years on and off and the healing is a rollercoaster ride as well

[@NarcCon]

It will level out Valerie..but yes it is a rollercoaster to start 🙏🌹

[@lisabarrow5]

I am sorry...me too! At least three times swept away...PLEASE god, no more...can't take another round of heartache like this...especially at my age...enough is enough

[@stephenrandall484]

Hi Valerie. Yep magical thinking can have a high cost.Narc con is right it will level out and you will gain stabilty. Remain No Contact!

[@TheLordsbattleaxe]

My pain made them happy. Need get this to sink in.

[@SA-px3ln]

I don’t get why

[@TheLordsbattleaxe]

@@SA-px3ln because I never realized it.

[@SA-px3ln]

@SJL how do we fight back the needing to be with them like your mom.

[@randytanaka8724]

It's wonderful to see, that through your own personal journey, you have found happiness and peace of mind. Your willingness to share this knowledge, so others can find theirs is lovely. Your light is what makes your channel so special.

[@NarcCon]

Randy thank you so much what a lovely message 💓🌹

[@stephenrandall484]

Yep Randy. She be wifey material.

[@marktansell9399]

It wasn't a little gap from childhood it was a gaping hole as I was totally neglected for years as a child ......but at least i know why I'm codependant and can work on it 😁

[@NarcCon]

Sorry Mark yes for some of us it’s a big hole..and I guess it takes a while for some to unravel how big or small it was in healing..thanks for saying 🌹

[@psychictruth5037]

🙏

[@stephenrandall484]

Hey Mark. Got me thinking too. No parents are perfect. Mine loved me and did their best. But i certainly became co dependent. Stronger now though.

[@tiffanymccarthy9219]

You tell the truth,this is truth 100%

[@lisabarrow5]

HOW POWERFUL, UNIQUE AND BEAUTIFUL THAT YOU ARE...yes..no more casting our pearls among the swine...exactly that..we didn't see that they were swine until to late..and yes , never again will i be blindsided like this...and YES, we have what is called BUILT IN FORGETTERS that keep us repeating the same shit that absolutely causes us tremendous pain...doing the same thing over and expecting a different experience...insanity

[@NarcCon]

Lisa thank you for your encouragement and kindness..what you say about pearls before swine is it for sure too

[@dashapulkova581]

I trashed the narc 1.5 month ago and the life has never been better!!! Every morning I wake up with a smile, with a plan, with an endless joy in my heart! The food I eat tastes so sweet, the air I breath i so fresh...omg I cant image I got rid of that insane chaotic creature....🙏💞 what kind of mess and hell must be in that head every single day to confuse and make crazy the people around the narc....Peace and Freedom and Self love is what I enjoy now. I wish the people who are in narc relationship to discard these monsters from your life as soon as You can. Kick them with no hesitation otherwise they will destroy you. Much love🙏💞 and thanks for your video!👍

[@NarcCon]

What bright beautiful light your comment brings to us all..thank you 💓🌹🙏

[@lb9171]

I find so much in this particular video, covering the entire ordeal and bringing up an opportunity to dig into a question I have that I just cannot settle contently on an answer to. Yes I’ve read and heard all about how the narcissist is a broken person, a damaged person, a sad person, an empty soul. Try as I may I cannot connect the gap where such a person will be on a lifelong rampage to deceive and damage other people when that same person has so amazingly demonstrated through their academy award winning performance that they also can see that there is a better path that they can take and not bail out on that is the path of love that they truly need to heal. Yes, I understand that it’s an act but I don’t understand how, as they perform this acting out of great relational love, they do not get a spark in their heart like the Grinch did when the people of Whoville where still rejoicing in love and happiness even after the Grinch tried to ruin that happiness. He finally GOT IT, and his heart was touched and he realized he had found what he was missing and needed it for his own healing and happiness. I don’t understand how, other than NOT EVEN HAVING A SOUL, the narcissist does not see that his/her healing is right there in the person who truly loves them, and usually loves them not totally oblivious to the fact that they are not authentic but that they are clearly damaged people.

[@NarcCon]

I get totally where your coming from..it’s heartbreaking..their narcissism won’t allow them to attach so they mimic emotion..although I believe initially they are infatuated and content in part for a time..but it never is wholesome or authentic..it’s just got to be all about them..the defence mechanism and spiritual darkness is set up that way 🌸

[@lb9171]

@@NarcCon yes I gave my heart, which is rare, but he just never validated that and insisted I was secretly against him 🤯🤯🤯💆‍♀️ and of course, in the final discard fury hatebomb I was evil, uncovered 😭

[@eyeoffthetiger2691]

I always say..They were not good enough for us. That's why they discarded us. Not the other way around. We were too good for them. We need to remember that.

[@NarcCon]

Amen 💯

[@cyndihowland2741]

Eye Off The Tiger, Thank you for your comment! May I continue to remember this. Sincerely, 🌹Cyndi🌹

[@eyeoffthetiger2691]

You are so welcome @@cyndihowland2741 💝

[@kimbachman5817]

I always leave your podcast feeling and thinking stronger, more determined and confirmed that "I AM NOT WHO HE HAS CONSTRUCTED ME TO BE!!!" I have been working at this for the past 15 years!! As of three weeks ago he is out!!! A well needed break... You rock, Thank you!!!

[@NarcCon]

🙋‍♀️🙏🌹

[@audra2211]

So, so good. Every good moment was partnered with a very painful experience for over 30 years. Eight months post discard doing well and staying close to the Lord. Thank you Paula!

[@annabecket788]

For me i believe it was both childhood trauma and difficult life events at the time which sucked me in. Also agree about the parental thing. Great vid. Thank you 🤗

[@NarcCon]

Thanks Ana..it’s good when we can identify it 💓🙏

[@elizabethchidiac221]

I don't need any apologies from my ex. I answered my relationship myself so I'm happy with the answers that was my former marriage!! Thanks Paula. I love tigers my ex thought I was a shark, my dad loved fishing, I'm finally a Queen of my castle and those who wish to visit, anytime any day! I've always been there for my loved ones and they can come and visit me and my children, anytime!! It is amazing you aren't wrong Paula!! 🙂❤🌷🌷🙏🙏

[@TheLordsbattleaxe]

Self-development will get the pain go away.

[@NarcCon]

Yes!!

[@stephenrandall484]

Like pulling daises ,she loves me she loves me not.Your gentleness is strength

[@TheLordsbattleaxe]

@@stephenrandall484 I see.

[@alisonevans7607]

Great words as always Paula & hit home. Ever since I lost my dad to cancer all my relationships since I have attracted narcissists. Guess I was looking for a strong male to fill the gap and make me feel like I was adored like my dad made me feel

[@NarcCon]

Thanks Alison..I think it’s different reasons for everyone but they usually spot vulnerability..sorry to hear about your lovely dad..I would imagine he’s looking after you still though..you found the utube community 🙏🌸

[@clusterbfreekarynsmith2190]

For every good time there were 10 bad. The trauma bond is broken by last 2 yrs of raging. Know how he played ny inner wounds & family trained to always serve others, never self. Free after 33 yrs...my time to do the work. Never again...fixing my personal boo boos.

[@NarcCon]

🌹

[@elizabethtunstall7042]

I met my narc soon after my brother disowned me. Now I am recovering from narc abuse I have been able to reconcile losing my brother Thank you Paula for a very insightful video

[@more444store6]

It is so important to recover and gain strength to avoid going through it again.

[@TheLordsbattleaxe]

My love was real for sure for the pretend person.

[@oilselevated4808]

I would say the highs and lows are absolutely manic and depressive. My trauma bond has finally broken, after 32 years akin to being falsely imprisoned. He did a favor, to finally “come clean”, about his gold digging mistress (36 years and a single mom of 2 little kids)…5 months later he begs forgiveness, wants to get back together, wants to go to therapy…next day he goes for his cancer treatment to another city and has his trash affair meet him. So relieved his chaos is out of my life once and for all.

[@zp4450]

I’ve been no contact for coming up to 3 years after an 18 year entanglement. I love your idea of getting the questions answered and closing the files. I have come such a long way from watching these types of videos to close my files. Completely life saving and showing me how wonderful life is without them in it. Yes I still miss the illusion at times after all these years but there is no comparison to the freedom from the pain that I felt for so many years! Thank you for your beautiful words. 🙏🏽❤️

[@NarcCon]

🙏🌹

[@stephenrandall484]

Ditto that zp.like a circus trained animal released to the wild. Whats that! That my friend is life.

[@demigaines5644]

Thank You For Sharing. I Was Horribly Abusused This Started Right Into The Relationship.He Immediately Started Devaluing Me.So Many Silent Treatments.. Im Having Alot Of Sadness.Im Currently Getting Help.I Have Horribly Let.Myself Go NarcIsstic Abuse Is Brutal...

[@NarcCon]

Demi I’m very sorry you experienced this..the wonderful part of recovery when you get through the very hard bit..is you see yourself blossom I wish that for you 🌹

[@demigaines5644]

@@NarcCon Thank You 🙏 So Very Much

[@kimberlyl.mccauley8501]

It is remarkable how it seems like you were with my ex husband! Amazing. Glad I found your channel..I'm 4 months no contact. After he abandoned me we/ I tried to work it out. I finally walked away after he compared me to his recently deceased sister in law. That was enough. I can't compete with the dead...that was the last I talked to him. I some how feel vindicated because he left me then I left him! That really keeps me going..4 months sober! You videos keep me going and prayer. He was the loud, pushy, narc! Lucky to be alive!

[@stephenrandall484]

Hi Kimberly. He May have a point. As he was trying to emotionaly and spiritualy kill you. (in cheek humour) Good on you. Happy days.

[@severly4160]

"The fact that this person left you is actually a compliment to you as a person"

[@vesnalukic9877]

I'm trying so so hard... the pain of everything still breaks me down...the loss of the fantasy person is so hard to let go of despite the huge pain you speak of...I can still feel it.

[@NarcCon]

Vesna, I’m sorry for the pain your in..don’t force it..grieve your lost dream of a future and the realness of the love you reached out for..take your time be gentle with yourself and turn that wonderful love onto you now..this knowledge is hard to accept but this and time and support will eventually bring you to a place you’ve never been before and true joy awaits you..your capable of being happy again..the Narcissist is not by their own design..I pray for some ease for you today

[@vesnalukic9877]

@@NarcCon thank you so much, today has been especially heart wrenching....just knowing they go off like nothing happened....one day at a time.

[@sharonowen]

My childhood was that gaping hole because of learning so much though watching your channel Paula I have realized that my mother is a narcissist and because of that even though I didn’t realize it at the time I was always so aware of how different I was to her I suppose that’s because I’m an empath and I know now that is what has always attracted narcissist to me because I would literally help anybody but when I met the narcissist he convinced me that we had that in common he even pretended to care about the homeless and actually came to help at soup runs when in reality he couldn’t have cared less but to me I thought I had found my soul mate but it didn’t take long for him to start telling me I was nuts to help them because they didn’t care about what I did they would only use me because that’s the way he thinks about everything and everybody but that’s history now and I’m working really hard to heal from the years and years of abuse and I’m also working on healing my inner child as I feel I need to do this or I’m still vulnerable to narcissists I hope I’m making sense thank you Paula you’re a star ⭐️ xxx

[@NarcCon]

Sharon..the healing can bring such awareness can’t it...you and me both..stay well my friend xx🌹

[@satcav4173]

"You were discarded and destroyed by a broken person" so powerful and thank you

[@vikki-leec6169]

Its slowly sinking in me for me but even when you know it's so difficult to fully accept that these people actually exist and that this disorder is a real thing...I still question myself over and over, my ex ticks every single box but I'm still in that place where I'm struggling to accept that this is actually real..that he cant love or attach to anyone atall..I still keep slipping into moments where I blame myself like you say and think what if he can love but he just fell out of live with me...x

[@NarcCon]

Look at the actions and ask yourself would you do these things to the person you loved most dearly

[@taniaspence4879]

In the early days I would write lists of all the terrible things he did. I would often read them many, many times a day until one day I just didn’t need to. Occasionally, I hear a little voice say “ it wasn’t THAT bad “ and I know that’s when I need some radical self love: ritual bath, meditation, a great movie, a long walk, a big ass chat with god ..... journaling is my true lifesaver. If we can get a ToolKit of things that help us to heal we can pull something out and concentrate on it. I still do a lot of them even though I just wanna sit and talk shit 😂😂😂 any kind of art work really pushes me through. Loving kindness is the key to unlocking what’s waiting to come out x

[@stephenrandall484]

Hi Lula.Are you about 6 months out? Think cold rational reason at this point.your emotions dont define who you are.They define who you were. Their connected to memory. watch out for magical thinking.

[@delightfuldeb1218]

I had a bad evening with the narc tonight. I figured I would move out tonight with my dogs - it did not go well. I just was trying to get away quietly since he screams at me that he's been trying to get rid of me for a year and tells me he resents me. So I packed my car and he caught me carrying my things out. I figured he would be so happy because he's been giving me silent treatment for a week. He started crying and grabbing the dogs telling me all he wanted was a separation - we are working on our marriage by me not living with him anymore-right! I told him he's been very mean to me and he really thinks he's been really good to me. I told him no you treat me horrible and he said your not taking the dogs so we fought over the dogs in the driveway and I told him he was crazy, then he let me leave with the dogs but now I'm afraid of what he's going to do with all my furniture and things. It's still there. I'm moving back to my condo where its peaceful and he can't treat me bad and put me down and control me. He just texted me that I'm cruel for taking the dogs out of the only home they know and called me a true bitxx. The dogs don't even like him. He will get revenge on me now. I'm worried.

[@NarcCon]

Deb..please seek legal help and if you feel threatened make a police report..you are safe and away that’s really important and don’t let the dogs near him he could hurt them to get at you...my email is [e-mail] for support if you need to talk...let a friend/family know where you are etc..don’t listen to a hoover..he will want to be the one to discard you are threatening his control..please don’t go back alone for belongings..take care 🌹

[@delightfuldeb1218]

Yes, I was threatening his control and he couldn't handle it. Thank you for the suggestions and support! I do have family and friends that are watching out for me and have a number of an attorney I can call. Your videos help me so much so I can learn what I'm dealing with. Thank you very much! 😊

[@NarcCon]

Ok great..just going asleep but you were on my mind..relieved to hear 🌸

[@cyndihowland2741]

Yes, please do not go back. Let the court and police help you. I had my Lawyer/Attorney, have a written document saying each item I could take out of the home and a police with me as I gathered up and moved all items that were mine and had payed for. I was married to him for 25 years. May all go well for you. Sincerely, Cyndi

[@elsie8966]

11 weeks tomorrow and I still think of him all day everyday. its so frustrating.

[@NarcCon]

Early days Elsie 🌹

[@MC-pn5ed]

The one here I believe I have a very strong soul tie with and I want it gone. I had a dream of a past life where I fell in love , got pregnant by someone else and left him...I remember feeling how hard it was to leave him and how broken and angry he was... I tried in the dream to talk to him, that it wasn't planned and how sorry and full of shame and guilt I was. Before the abuse really started I dreamt of him and his face, and he'd talk to me telepathically full of pain how sorry he was to do this to me as a soul... all he said" I'm sorry" full of empathy and pain but telepathically...I even told him about it lol... We are divorcing and I passed by him a while ago and felt incredible physical pain in my heart😬 it was not from me...dreaming of him and his " supplies" in the act...her skin, her family energy, her job lol... I feel still Now when he's sexually active, which worries me because it must mean I'm still tied ??? Like you said in other videos , I know when he's thinking about me...its just so random the things that show up intuitively...I even though he was this twin flame thing connection...how do I live with it??? Anyone else going thru this or have gone through this kind of telepathic connection? When I'm connecting with someone even as a friend , I emesh with them and "read " them all the time, it is very dificult to stay aloof and take my time but I'm learning this is must for me...I wish I didn't but it randomly happens.

[@MC-pn5ed]

It's extremely hard watching him being so excited and " in love" when we haven't even signed the papers yet , and less than a month ago he wanted to work things out lol...it hurts even more to know that there is no base or substance in it... Or maybe I'm hoping it doesn't so it hurts less idk...well he's starting to not hide it as much and I'm about to collapse from so much pain... I know its a must and a "" good" pain , it will launch me to myself which is what I have been longing for a long time...just to be my fucking self...thank you for all you do💙

[@NarcCon]

It’s really really important for you to go no contact and maintain a hard no contact and to rebuild yourself in every part of your life..I can feel you very much and it’s vital you take this distance to heal..sending you blessings and strength

[@elizabethchidiac221]

Unconditional love, compassion and understanding and peace, for me moving forward. 27 years of chaos closed on 1 Jan 2023. My new life is a kind living peaceful home with no shame or fear for my family, friends, my children and especially myself moving forward. Conditional love no longer exists in my life, especially by my ex. 🙂❤🌷🌷🙏🙏 I'm happy doing me and I'm sure he is happy doing himself. I never stopped him from living his best life so he can keep living his best life however he chooses. He no longer defines who I am and what I stand for with the values and beliefs that my loving parents taught my family. So I'm extremely grateful for finally dealing with the loss of my loving father after 27 years! Onwards and upwards for everyone. I want respect, love and peace for my children, family and friends moving forward in my new life! 😘❤❤❤🌷🌷🌷🌷🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@annemann9134]

I see this going on also...people do actually need each other...because when we are born we are in need of everything... Now...the evil comes when some people try to take advantage of others

[@sandyberger-r9j]

I am a co-dependent in the third generation. All my role models balanced their marriages with more or less narcissistic husbands, so I thought my relationship was perfectly normal. If he hadn’t been careless and let me find out about his cheating, I‘d still be with him and try to cater to his every need!

[@NarcCon]

Thank goodness you found out and can see it Sandy blessings to you 🌹

[@JH-td4mn]

Thank you for posting this video Paula, an absolute gem. Narcissistic Abuse and how it makes the target feel and how we can move on, heal and ultimately thrive - brilliantly described. I'll be sharing this with anyone who wants to know what this horrendous abuse entails.

[@marnerose2315]

This resonates with me. I formed an attachment with him as a parent. Makes sense. Thank you.

[@NarcCon]

🙏🌸

[@lennie1703]

I couldn't let him leave me, even though everybody, from police, family and friends told me I had to. It was too much like my dad leaving when I was four. (Never heard from him again). He was supposed to be my forever. It went to hell.

[@clusterbfreekarynsmith2190]

Thank you. Was able to answer those questions without hesitation or negative reaction. Even understand how he & others got in. A bit surprised. Now just need to get outdoors in those walks like you.

[@NarcCon]

Yes Karyn ...walks so uplifting 😊🙏🦮

[@zp4450]

I love love love your videos. You articulate so perfectly. Thank you🙏🏽❤️

[@NarcCon]

Thank you 😊

[@user-gn7rm1vq2j]

Thank you for sharing this helpful advice. I recovering from Narcissistic abuse. I was severely injured and recovering from surgery.

[@justmoveongaming9205]

The pain is less, but the clutter and tiredness is real :( I have a difficult time deciding things!

[@danielhiam5108]

You are correct this material has to be watched many times to reinforce it in our heads. Why I'm not sure.

[@NarcCon]

Deprogramming it all

[@danielhiam5108]

That makes sense. It must be similar to deprogramming someone from a cult.

[@lindakaye7096]

Thanks, I know and believe everything that you are saying, but it still hurts, not as much as it did yesterday, but I am still in emotional pain. You are helping immensely. Please keep doing what you are doing. You give me hope and my belief in GOD in The Name of JESUS.

[@larrybutterfield6672]

I don't know how to tell my story it just seems crazy so much I only tell my most trusted I'm scared of herso much and I have to see her tomorrow so she can come get the rest of her things and half mine but I don't care as long as she signs my car title and I will sign the deed to our house over to her

[@cosmea553]

Good luck to you, be strong! Congrats for being able to separate from her! 👍💓

[@NarcCon]

Oh Larry..I guess you are acting on legal advice? Can you have someone with you..please take care..we are here for you and I will pray for you 🌹

[@larrybutterfield6672]

She had pre packed didn't realize till after the she had pack half of my things and my mother had to bring her here to get her things but she did take some picture albums that are very dear to me with all of my friends and family and my bio child that I have not got to see sinctshe was a baby I do have a hard time with this a don't know what to do about it.

[@stephenrandall484]

@@larrybutterfield6672 Hey Larry. Yeh she knew what was meaning full to you. so she could hurt you at at a distance.and manipulate.also maintaining contact. dont fall for anything she has to say. try and get your stuff back without her knowing. its yours. shes stolen it for purpose. only just read this 2 weeks old. how you going.?

[@taniaspence4879]

Hello, I’m new here and I’m so pleased you came up on my feed. I love how you’ve described exactly what I’ve been doing and I absolutely agree wholeheartedly in everything you said. Really clear and well thought out, genuine and authentic. Thank you xx

[@NarcCon]

Your welcome here Tania.. thanks also for your support 🌸

[@mammabear4334]

Sometimes I felt like I was parenting him but other times like he was parenting me 🙄

[@TheLordsbattleaxe]

It is such a crazy healing process. At least for me it has been.

[@NarcCon]

Amen..up and down initially 🌹

[@TheLordsbattleaxe]

@@NarcCon for sure. Almost like I got launched off of their abuse roller coaster cycle and am still in their cycle but without them present or on their roller coaster anymore but the pattern remains in the head.

[@stephenrandall484]

@@TheLordsbattleaxe My mind played over and over.Had to make new synapses being calm and focused.

[@TheLordsbattleaxe]

@@stephenrandall484 I get what you are saying with the over and over thing.

[@stephenrandall484]

@@TheLordsbattleaxe Yes its a pattern. when you look at it thats all you see ,because thats all thats there. It plays out like a single tv show through out the day. Your the Director. You can fire the cast.

[@anonymouslyanonymous4774]

I think for the first time I feel like I have words to express what I have been feeling and what is going on…I cannot thank you enough. I am grateful I found your site on accident. Please continue to share your thoughts and love. You are appreciated immensely

[@NarcCon]

Thanks for such wonderful encouragement 🌹

[@michaelgendre]

Your focus on self-development (which can and should be self-actuated in sustained fashion, although one always needs others validating what you're doing) is a great take-home lesson from this video. It does indeed help that you, Paula, are not selling something, even though I cannot blame life coaches who sell their healing programs.

[@DisEnchantedPersons]

You watch them fail in life as time goes on. It has been a great show

[@claudiasbarra1882]

Thank you so much for this. Few years ago I couldn't believe that I could recover. I am becoming better and better. Thank you ❤

[@NarcCon]

Wonderful!

[@yvonnehall3312]

Paula is so right on with what she has said in this video, I went through all of those steps, even looking into my childhood, and what people that i had in my life that had a personally disorder and it started with both of my parents, my father who was cruel and my mother who had me around to try and validate her mental disorder, then it was my childrens father, but i no longer look for anyone to validate me and I find Im at the peace Ive never been at before.

[@PamelaSofia444]

What I realised is that, even though I’ve worked a lot on my personal boundaries, I have more work to do and need to stop over sharing

[@user-dd3ny4xb3w]

Extremely high highs, and many more intense and devastating lows.

[@T190.JLS27]

What a journey! Thank you Paula. You should write a book! I take notes and write down a lot of what you say in a journal I have kept along the way since the huge revelation that my best girlfriend of three decades was a covert narcissist. I didn’t even come across the term “covert”until about a month ago. And that fit her to a T. I condensed and combined some of what you said in this video along with my own thoughts in this snippet: “In the beginning when we are in a vulnerable stage of life, we meet this person and we find the experience to be beautiful and spiritual - when they shower us with love. We are mesmerized with the experience, and we feel like we have met “the one “… Our kindred spirit. Complete and content. That’s when they rope you in, and you are in such a happy and blissful place that you tolerate the occasional confusing and mean moments. Because they are so wonderful in so many other ways! But little by little, things get worse and worse - and in such a gradual way that you are like the analogy of the frog being boiled alive. You tolerate more and more heat for the joy of being in their presence. You still think you’re happy, despite this niggling discomfort in the back of your consciousness, and in the deepness of your heart, that things aren’t quite right. “ Thank you so much for helping us to see more clearly, Paula. I have come so far since going no contact after my narc’s last verbal attack - when I said - “ Enough. Never again”, and took my soul back from her. ❤

[@NarcCon]

🙋‍♀️🥰

[@doreendayaram6361]

My word, this is huge, thus is my life u talking about, yes I was blinded, everything has come through, oh my word, I wasted my life with thus man😢

[@WendyMedew]

Much love Paula to you and Remy. I am 9 months no contact. (Well, almost)❤ I can testify that everything you share is correct. I am a living example of this. May I encourage everyone on their healing journey of learning as this is an amazing key, along with no contact.❤

[@jackiegreen3660]

Amen. I appreciate your videos. Please keep them coming. Your videos are closest to the truth I have found. I am sorry you have had to learn this lesson too but you seem to have gotten it! You are a blessing! ❤️

[@NarcCon]

Jackie I really appreciate your encouragement and yes I guess I’m well on the journey but it’s a great one I’m guessing there’s a whole big world out there and plenty more to love and learn for us all 🌸🙏

[@jackiegreen3660]

@@NarcCon yes thank you. I had no idea there were people like this. I guess I’m gullible. I believe in the best in people. Anyway. I’m glad there is someone like you to describe this it certainly helps with trying to heal. God bless ❤️

[@karinjanesevanrensburg7511]

Divorced him 16 Oct 2020. Just go a video call from him. Did not answer. Today would have been our 7th wedding anv. Looks like its bothering him, no me. Made new friends, bought myself a new car. Wish he can find wife no 6 soon and leave me alone. He disgarded me on 10 Jul 2020 without a reason. Looks like he is the one suffering

[@NarcCon]

💓..great you didn’t Karin..💓

[@laurabenjamin260]

My story is different..this man is a son of an acquaintance who went to prison for 17 years. It started by writting..then visits..I married him in prison..I was with him for 12 years..self sacrificed myself for him for us because his family disagreed him when he went into prison. He got out and had 3 3rd parties and a child! Recently devorced after 5 years of separation! Healing..forgiving...moving on..after a very long cycle and many hard lessons!!

[@NarcCon]

Blessings and strength to you Laura 💓🌹

[@annemann9134]

Mine was...as long as money is sent ...then it was lovely dovey...but when I took a break from it...then came the distant or silent treatment...manipulation...then came love quotes...cut and paste...

[@NarcCon]

Oh Anne Yes awful 🌸

[@annemann9134]

@@NarcCon it has been a huge blessing to find other souls who were brave enough to bring the deeds of darkness out into the light and call it what it is...we are not wrong for loving...because that is what we are called to do...it takes guts and courage to admit to being played by someone...so thankful for all the wonderful men and women who have come forward to unite and defeat the foe.

[@stephenrandall484]

Sorry Anne. But i had to laugh at your cut and paste comment. How pathetic are they.Nothing original. I lost the house and a $100,000 in debt. ok now though. Cautious about trusting again.

[@annemann9134]

@@stephenrandall484 so very sad to know this happened to you...it is terrible what is going on

[@stephenrandall484]

@@annemann9134 I keep it in perspective. Monies worth no more than the value we give it.And eternity is home.

[@TheLordsbattleaxe]

Cycle of highs and lows it seemed. A lot of angel then devil then over and over. The brain does try to protect itself.

[@user-qv9nw1dq2f]

Thank you Pola❤ for this powerful message. Self-love, self-development and self-care and we will heal. And patience. Let us concentrate on the beauty which is us. God bless you❤

[@melindadejesus7914]

I would love to share my story but it would be a book! Thank you for filling in the gaps ❤️🔥🔑

[@belladonna70]

same here soo much has happend to me its unbelievable and im still in it..

[@jomaka]

This was exactly how I met my wife 30 years ago.

[@elisabethrio6498]

Dear Paula~You went so deep o n this video, I was moved and touched. You just poured your heart and your wisdom out selflessly. You are a godsend to each of us.

[@boowhenosedios9310]

I hate that love was awakened for nothing but a lie, that's the part that feels demonic.

[@TheLordsbattleaxe]

Was very confused and still kind of am.

[@tauruswinds37]

Deep soul recovery is needed.

[@TheLordsbattleaxe]

@@tauruswinds37 probably right

[@NarcCon]

My email is [e-mail]

[@rourou95822]

God spoke to me thru her!!!! Look at her passion?

[@karinjanesevanrensburg7511]

Nearly 5 months no contact. Blocked him but he still come through to my phone. I will not break the no contact. He can video call all he wants.....will not answer. When will he leave me alone?????

[@NarcCon]

Take the power back Karin change your phone number..make yourself unreachable 🌸

[@surfshack2]

@@NarcCon That is the only way. Strength to you Karin.

[@psychictruth5037]

Gosh 🙏

[@taniaspence4879]

Yeah a new number is truly the best way x

[@lisasweeney694]

Hi I have started to watch your videos on KZbin and I think you are fantastic. I am 3 months maybe more NC and that's the way it will stay for the rest of my days on this earth. I really like the way you fully explain and break down each suggestion on how to heal. My pain is definitely not as bad as it was 3 months ago and I am beginning to take back my soul I so willingly gave. Thank you so much I will continue watching your videos because you are helping me so much. Lisa

[@NarcCon]

Thanks Lisa, for such encouragement 🌹🙏

[@narcissismandthedevil6778]

There are truth in what you say I do attend the gym regular and it’s amazing it really helps you not just keeping fit but it make you feel great

[@HeartFeltGesture]

I feel like your explanation about why we may attract multiple narcissists or have multiple relationships was a very weak recognition of what it is to be groomed and conditioned for abuse by narcissistic parents, the sinister nature of being scapegoated for being the empath in the family, which then leads to unconscious attraction to similar abuse and having obvious emotional wounds (obvious to the narcissist). My covert narcissist mother would remind my sister and I how we had interrupted her sports career, and she would say it in a tone of feeling hard done by (my parents divorced when I was 2) which created a feeling of existential guilt, feeling un-wanted, a burden, un-loved, resulting in terrible damage to self-esteem. I would be grateful if you could address this in a video, i would be interested to hear your perspective. Thanks for your work.

[@emmab4323]

Paula, you give me such hope. Some of these other channels are clinical but they dont get down to the spiritual aspect and how between yourself and God you can heal. I have taken baby steps and everyday get better and better.

[@johangroot4641]

Thanks for the video it was my father and mother , thanks from the Nederlands

[@NarcCon]

Ooh very sorry..heal well..thanks for giving your location..I love Arnhem 🌹

[@vignetteorleans1631]

The truth is when I met this man I broke every rule I had about men . educated or the service human grace honesty .I had experienced some painful things and for the first time in my life i could not be alone. I ended up bonding. I had no idea why he did the things he did but I do know some of the reasons. things.

[@PinkGirlTeaches]

This is an awesome video and self development as you said is the key. Thanks for this.

[@NarcCon]

Joy thanks a million 🌸😊

[@stephaniemacias3445]

This IS how healing happens! ........ | ❤ |

[@margueritegardner3179]

Thankyou again for your inspirational video it gave me another step up albeit with a few tears of reflection I know that now my strength has grown you have indeed been gifted the key to Narcissistic Abuse to help us all. God Bless🙏

[@NarcCon]

🙏🌹

[@rivieragreen3826]

You are truly gifted. Your perspective is unique and different from the other channels. Lots of haha moments for me in your videos. Thank You so much for what you are doing. God bless🙏 I am at the recovery stage where I mentally know my ex was a narcissist, but I still have to push through the barrier of not missing the relationship I thought I had with a soulmate. I KNOW it was fake, yet I still miss her... miss that fake movie character. The pain though is half of what it was 4 months ago, you are absolutely right. Time makes it more and more bearable. It's my third and last discard. I say last not because I feel unhooverable right now, but because I feel that I lost all trust I had for her. That notion alone hurts... I guess in life there is always a flip side to something that gives you an imediate rush of joy. "Too good to be true" comes to mind..

[@NarcCon]

Hi..firstly thank you so much for your encouragement..it’s very painful but we will heal together and find a wholesome happiness and ourselves once we break through the barrier..god speed to you..keep going I know joy awaits us 🌸🙏

[@transo8995]

Your pain makes them 😊 😲 wow

[@prettypenne662]

LESSONS TO LEARN! Thankful I learned the lesson!!!!! I AM grateful. So glad God and my Angels kept me in the light!!!!!! Grateful for Paula! Thank you for putting your talents out for us to learn Paula. Thank you!! 🙏

[@NarcCon]

🙏🌹

[@craftlover9702]

Thank you so much for the clarity!!!

[@rozsa7828]

I actually used to feel safe being controlled by the narc but I new it was unhealthy

[@nancytest3609]

I am so thankful for this channel. I did not realize I had dealt with and had married a narcissist as he was a Neglectful Narcissist and did not look like the regular kind. I actually just thought all the screwed up things he did, just showed him as not all that smart, and needed help learning. So, imagine my surprise to come across this channel twenty years later to open my eyes, and still find spots in my psyche not healed.

[@NarcCon]

🙋‍♀️🌹

[@tiffanymccarthy9219]

I love your videos, thankyou!

[@NarcCon]

Thank you Tiffany x

[@TheLordsbattleaxe]

A higher level that they can not reach.

[@rosalavendelchen7846]

You are an angel, Paula. Thank you so much.🙏 God bless you.

[@NarcCon]

You too!!

[@kimberlyl.mccauley8501]

You are truly God sent! I'm addicted to your channel! It has helped me so much! ❤ Love and light to you. ❤🌞

[@NarcCon]

Hey thanks Kimberly 😊..much love and light in return 🌸🌸