The Narcissist wants you to leave

[@lauuura]

They push you away further and further, then tell everyone you left. Truly a sick move.

[@debralondon2402]

Yes. Scum bag. User.

[@anissaholmes4495]

Coward’s move. I’ve listened to Narcs who go ‘poor me’ my wife left me. I go ‘oh, poor you’ but think inside ‘ I know you did it and you are a huge coward because you couldn’t pull the trigger.’

[@brandiflgirlydidudothat1231]

Exactly

[@Mack98421]

They accuse you of exactly what they are guilty of, they lie, deflect, dismiss, criticize, push relentlessly, get violent, never shut up, never stop demanding acquiescence. Then after weeks, months, or years of this finally the person on the receiving end voices a single criticism, a single comment, a single sentence and they go absolutely ballistic as if you've afflicted them with a mortal wound. It's worse than sick, it's unbearable psychotic pathologic life destroying behavior. It's a slave/master relationship with zero communication where one person is attempting to dominate the entire time with zero care for anyone but themselves. The entire time pushing relentlessly with the underlying threat of do what I want or else.

[@billieself1495]

Hello I really enjoyed the insight you raised in your video. Look I appreciate very much the advice of "Oh you are with a narcissist run for your life" à lot of counsellors suggest this solution. Look personally i just cannot accept this advice I would rather stay just to piss them them off.

[@maddyL1234]

They are terrible terrible people who are just so destructive.

[@shyannlatimore9747]

What's really heart breaking is that the Narcs don't want you anymore because of all the pain and trauma they put you through. That stuff changes people and usually for the worst and that's when they say 'You're not the same person I met you as."

[@reddixx]

Mine started telling everyone I was on drugs because I changed. I grew a back bone. I wasn't going to allow him to manipulate, gaslight, and darvo me any longer. So yes I changed big time. But in his head I changed because of drugs because it can never be his fault.

[@FarfallaSiciliana427]

Mine asked me to do a drug test because I had a reaction to something one day and couldn't stop rubbing my nose so he was convinced I was doing cocaine - and after I argued it - I forgave him and the day went onto 2 more years

[@ruthdeliah2]

Oh my God! I never thought of it this way! YOU ARE SO RIGHT!

[@ruthdeliah2]

This is going in my journal, dear! I cannot forget this huge FACT! Thank you!!!!!

[@resilient8788]

@@FarfallaSiciliana427 I would hear if you keep taking those vitamins they will make you crazy. They are vitamin C and D gummy bears....? Lol Their weakness is that they think they are so superior and everyone around them is stupid.

[@tflworld1795]

Seems like a narcissist can only look good by making another look bad.

[@paulwilliams5013]

....i don't think it works for them though....word gets around.

[@ivoryfyall2398]

Exactly 💯💯 my bf of 12yrs

[@povertylevelphilanthropy1524]

Exactly

[@signe8321]

@@paulwilliams5013How ? They flock together, and are getting to be the majority

[@cassiebennet4262]

That's the only way they feel they have value. If everyone is not a complete piece of shit, eventually in the narcissist's mind, the narcissist believe's that they themselves are completely worthless. Imagine having to convince everyone you deal with that they are completely flawed just so you could feel better about yourself for a very short amount of time. These people are completely miserable. I actually do pity them, but I have no empathy for them anymore. They CHOOSE to ignore reality and hurt others. If hurting others, to make yourself feel better, isn't evil I don't know what is.

[@dijarosa7866]

One thing I realized is narcissist DO NOT like the legal system or authorities

[@GTGinley7]

So true, cuz the law is logic and they run on fake logic created by their immature emotions not real facts

[@memes.1114]

Yeah, but sociopaths will keep you tied up in legal bs, telling lies, and faking information. Meanwhile, you just want the drama to end.

[@nuthinbutluv4u142]

Sometimes they use the legal system/law to control you when they aren't able to do so.

[@SassyDiva53]

So true....and what I also notice is, as much as they hate it, they turn into little cowards when having to face it. I said to my narc one time. I have never seen you go off on a cop, judge , your supervisor. Anyone in authority. He said, that's because I know they have the power to xyz...... I said, oh so you do have some degree of self awareness. He said, I'm not stupid....why would I do that and make it hard on myself. Yet, he had o problems dumping on me for anything. Needless to say, it was very eye opening!

[@andreadreher6688]

Agreed,, even though is afraid, and/or dislikes authority, still does things that could get him arrested. Puzzling to me.

[@uyoebyik]

The narc forces you to end the relationship but they won't call it a day themselves

[@spacegirl226]

My husband did say he wanted a divorce and discarded me. But in his selfish, immature way made me do all the work. I had to pack up my life and leave. I had to pay for the divorce to ensure it got done. Sometimes they have just enough courage to get rid of you, but the spine turns to jelly again. Just like they neglected during the relationship, they neglect again, forcing you to do all the heavy lifting. Then they can be the victims because YOU left. YOU filed for divorce.

[@someoneishere7548]

@@spacegirl226 same, but with cancelling the wedding, while I paid for everything...

[@macnchessplz]

Unless they have something else lined up as a replacement? Perhaps they’re likelier to end it themselves if they have what theory view as a “better prospect”. Or just an excuse to leave bc they want out?

[@someoneishere7548]

@@macnchessplz I think it can be both, but either way, they probably want out because they believe they found "some better supply", or you became too difficult to control.

[@macnchessplz]

@@someoneishere7548 the too difficult to control makes a lot of sense (as does the better supply).

[@courtneyawalsh]

He kept trying to make me jealous & all it did was turn me off & send me running. I knew he was pushing me away. He just can’t handle someone who really…sees…him…beyond all his gamey, slimy, wounded, manipulative BS. His masks & games did nothing for me. Except help me realize? I deserve SO much better.

[@tff8514]

And they spend there marriage... Smearing you behind your back. They have affairs with multiple people. Take drugs, live a double life. Most of them are recreating the chaotic childhood they had. They badmouth everyone. They praise a person only as far as they can use them. When they can no longer get anything from a person, they will badmouth them. The lies become evident soon after.. the flying monkeys are also dumb for a while, it's so embarrassing. Thank God if you get away. Best is to leave without them knowing you are leaving.

[@michellek2946]

This hurts me even more. I was forced to leave and he told everyone, “I just couldn’t make her happy. I tried”. Changed the entire story. I was in financial ruin and had to stay with a friend and my heart is still broken 7 months later. While I know he moved on like I was nothing. I loved him and I feel so used. It’s so unfair. I just can’t reconcile it and I know I’ll never trust another man again. He ruined me

[@emmaharper860]

Sound like what my ex lied about " he tried I just can't make her happy" sound like a bunch of bull s##! Huh SMH. ..

[@jackgoodings]

Michelle, please dont give so much power to the narcissist .. dont decide that he ruined you, and dont give him such a position of representing all men. All men are not like him. Many of us guys are decent, and weve experienced the same thing. Your power comes from not being ruined, from not being tainted towards all men. He would love that he did that to you, so dont give that to him, hes taken enough already.

[@juanalaniz7459]

Blessings...In God We Trust.....Prayers.

[@carol-xk3lq]

They all learn from the same book; that's why they say the same bullshit. The sentence "I couldn't make her happy"...ja ja, just an excuse for their cowardly laziness. I was called being "high maintenance" - lol. He simply could not keep up with facing the truth. Of course he had his jump all ligned up, even drifted off from Europe to California, his lies about shoveling money over the ocean & getting a new supply ready waiting for him so he could always have warm sheets...they are so boring, shallow people trying to steal light from many without giving a damn about what they are doing. He did not destroy you - he did you a favour by loosing someone special forever. Get up & out & embrace real life. We can do that 'cos these narcs have nothing we need, or with one of his favourite words (besides 'always' & 'never') they have 'absolutely' nothing we need. Ty

[@michellek2946]

@@jackgoodings you are absolutely right. And I won’t. Sometimes I have really dark days and the pain washes over me. The day I wrote that was one of those days. I decided when I left that I was going to choose me. My life. That no matter what, I was going to get to th bottom of why I allowed this to happen. Why I didn’t end it the first month. I truly am on my way. I have really good days Most of the time, but I work really hard. I’m in therapy, I journal/meditate, I have remained alone without attaching to someone or something outside myself. I’m feeling all the feelings and let them wash Over me. They always pass. I tell myself, I am enough, I am worthy of love and respect. Thanks Jack. I know there are good men out there somewhere. I’m just working on me now, so if there is ever a next time, it will be healthy. Take care

[@Greenleafroad]

Throughout my life I've heard. "Your to good for me ". Big red flag...

[@faydee-eh4tu]

I hear it everyday. But why is it a red flag..it confuses me

[@lakelady7793]

I hear “you’re just a better person than me” all the time

[@MsBhappy]

​@@faydee-eh4tuit's a warning that basically if you choose to be with them then you are in their eyes signing up for being abused

[@couldntholdacandle6681]

That's the Nutty part. They moved in with you, into your house then when it's our house they want you to leave.

[@elifnaml6969]

That's exactly what he did to me

[@nvanguy6868]

You said it perfectly. These people are spineless, and they will passive aggressively Force you out with their lies and crazy behaviour, just so to their family and friends they can look like the innocent victim. They usually have another supply lined up

[@Job.Well.Done_01]

This is exactly what happened to me. My ex did some crazy, crazy things to get me to leave. The aftermath was so brutal because it was just all lies from her. You know someone is screwed up when they’re doing f these kinds of things to someone they’re married to. I’m still boggled over it.

[@chrisbas9490]

He did not ruin you. There are 3 stages to healing; those stages (in my opinion, based off of almost 8 years of dealing with a Narc and now healing with no contact) are: 1) The wound. Its open and bleeding because you're still in an addictionship. As long as you are with them, it will always be a wound and you will always be left bleeding, trying to fix bullet holes with bandaids. 2) The Scab. Happens when you leave and go no contact. It will be a scab until you are over all of this on the inside and ready to live again. Only you will know when that is and TRUST ME... YOU WILL FEEL IT! 3) Scar Tissue. What youre left with after basically every disappointment you've had in life. Other scars are thicker than others. Im not going to lie, this will be one of them. You will live again. You will love again. You will trust again... Just not as openly as you did before. That is a good thing. Its called "boundaries" and they are put in place for self preservation. You will be fine. Replay/make a list of all things fucked up they did to you. Then ask yourself why you would miss that. It goes deep... That work is for YOU. Its a process, but I promise youll cone out better on the other side. 🙏❤️😘

[@katherines9304]

Or five!

[@moviedeeva]

​@@chrisbas9490BRAVO! Agree 100%

[@cassiebennet4262]

It's actually really calculated. Victims starting to realize that they're in a toxic relationship will greatly benefit from this video and stellar comments section. Yes the narcissist knows what they're doing.

[@pamcollins9566]

They just don’t want to look like the bad guy…. Period. Mines tell me to “text” him instead of tell him that I don’t want this anymore.😅😅😅😂. Yeah- so he could show his family it was me and not him

[@lynettecaballero1660]

It's all a sick game. They elevate you then devalue you,then Hoover you then the cycle starts all over again.

[@PRETTYGIRLSWAGG918]

Devalue is their delight and glee !!!

[@PRETTYGIRLSWAGG918]

Devalue is actually what you are being setup for ..... that’s what it’s all about . Is to make you feel and look like a pile of crap , so In contrast they feel and look better lol (in their delusional minds) what a joke !!! 🤭

[@cassiebennet4262]

This cycle made me realize that they are punishing their original "caregiver(s)." The victim of a narcissist is getting redirected anger from the original abuse the narcissist endured in early childhood. They cannot move on emotionally and need a scapegoat.

[@eusebiasantiago2715]

So true they play hot and cold on emotions They will play victim and lie to their friends and family by saying u are emotionally and mentally abusive to them when it’s the other way around. Any relationship with a narcissist is a lonely one

[@daviddyess3938]

Exactly...

[@josephkarnish8740]

Lonely? Can you elaborate?

[@cassiebennet4262]

It's completely pointless once the target gains perspective. I remember thinking why am I sitting here all tense for hours? They take away your solitude and replace it with negative energy.

[@anewlifestirring]

Chaos is one form of gaslighting and control over a confused victim by fishing in troubled waters rather than a straightforward explanation where they would lose.

[@NewBeginnings413]

The only reason when a narc wants you to leave is when you see who they are . And even then, they don’t want you to leave .

[@zombiemolly9711]

When they find a new shiny option

[@Alwayzblessed36]

Mine keeps saying he's tired of hurting me and plays the victim. He's covert and wants me around but doesn't want me around at the same time

[@LB-lt3pz]

@@Alwayzblessed36me too!!! Exactly this!!!!

[@mssoulsister2186]

The Narcissist is a evil spirit that doesn't change! It only change people and this is why our stories are so similar. 😢

[@maddyL1234]

Its amazing how they all do the same things! Even say the same things!

[@sistergoldenhair1809]

They're proving you're a child of God . If you weren't a threat to them and the darkness, they wouldn't stick around. It can be hard bt also very validating at the same time.

[@DaughterOfGod247]

My ex said these exact words during an argument, “I’m going make your life hell until you leave!!!” It was then that I realise he knew what he was doing and he wanted me to leave. I haven’t looked back. I’m happy to be free. I’m now seeing a caring and gentle man. We are in the dating stage but nothing about him has been alarming nor a red flag. It’s quite boring but I like this. No more chaos

[@godsbruh]

how u will abuse him

[@narcoholic22]

My narc is a complete asshole. He ruined my life. I had no idea what I was dealing with until it was too late. It’s a miracle you are changing your life. I hope you really keep it up because narcs do nothing but destroy lives. . Helping people is a good way to make up for the hurt you caused…. 😑

[@narcoholic22]

@@GinaCruz56 Spoken like a true narcissist! Wow like I’m going to value what another narcissist has to say about my life. Doesn’t surprise me though, you being a narcissist too, you people usually stick together so I get it. Yeah you’re one of THOSE people. You like to blame the victim… I see. Way to go. Maybe you should ask more questions before you start telling people what they went through and how they should of handled it. You don’t know anything about me or the narc that ruined my life. Not that I need to defend myself but I do feel the need to school you on your ignorant comment. Every individual goes through their own experiences number one. For starters, pay attention you might learn how to act like a human being, but regardless of that, I did not choose this narc, he DID chose me. He stalked me for years and was married the whole time. The whole time he stalked me I was married to the man I always wanted to marry, a real loving person. I did not enable the narc, the very first time I caught him following me in my car on the way home from were we both worked, I called the police. I had him arrested 17 times. Is that what you meant by me being quiet & obedient and not sticking up for myself? Is that not setting boundaries too? Ok buddy sure thing. Also, I already did love myself. I didn’t have to learn how from his abusive treatment. I already did. And so did my loving husband. So I didn’t learn to choose myself from the narc, I chose myself before he came along. He did ruin my life, he caused chaos in my marriage for 4 years because I refused to leave my husband for this psycho. He was obsessed. Do you know what that’s like? To have someone that you have no interested in be obsessed? I have a feeling you don’t. Just a feeling… The narc was so out of control that my marriage broke up because it was either that if my husband would have gone to prison for killing this psycho. No matter what we did or the police did, he would always come back. Restraining orders, telling his wife, telling everyone, did not stop this psycho. My husband was a good man but he had his limits …. After 4 years of a guy coming between his marriage by obsessive behavior towards me, he was going to end up in prison because was ready to kill the guy. We divorced do to the stress caused by the narc. So yeah, that’s ruining my life to me. I put him in jail 4 times but he found not stop. No matter what the consequences. I told everyone who would listen and I told the police and I did not care what anyone thought. The narc did not care what anyone thought either and that’s why he was so dangerous. He put me in the hospital several times for attacking me. Is that what you meant by CHOSE TO IGNORE? I didn’t stay out of fear…. I ran like hell out of fear. You’re right about one thing…… it’s not easy to leave… a psychotic narcissist sociopath!!!! Noooooo definitely not easy!!! Especially if you didn’t want him in the first place! Which he was. I was not quiet snd I was not obedient what do ever. I did not ask this person to follow be everywhere I went and to do this behind his wife’s back. I did not ask for this persons attention. The only thing I learned to late was that there are sick people in this world and restraining orders won’t stop them from coming for ya… Learn the facts before you open your big mouth. You should be ashamed of yourself to talk to anyone like that especially when you know nothing of their circumstances…. Maybe you will learn a life lesson from this, maybe you’ll think twice before you write a comment and embarrass yourself like you did responding to me. Take a domestic violence class or something. Make yourself useful and try to get an education in the subject because clearly you have none. Don’t ever blame a victim it’s quite disturbing what you said to me. Good luck 👍🏼 OH, and pray to God you never cross paths with a narcissist… and when you do meet a narcissist, get back to me and let me know how that turned out for ya…. Good luck with that. What you said to me, is exactly what a narcissist would say. Judge everyone, respect no one, know more than everyone, love only themselves. You should look in the mirror, I bet you’d see a narcissist looking back at ya. You need to reflect on how you speak without thinking. Maybe that will be the best lesson YOU EVER HAD. Some self awareness and self reflection. But if your a narcissist like you sound like, self reflection won’t help you. There is no cure for complete ignorance. 👎🏼🙅🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ Shame on you.

[@narcoholic22]

@@GinaCruz56 yeah you were really rude and disrespectful and showed absolutely no empathy and sounded like a judgmental narcissist. Don’t ever blame the victim. Even if I was quiet about the abuse which I WAS NOT, but if someone is , that does not mean they are asking for it or the abuse is their fault. These relationships are the HARDEST to leave because they affect our minds. They actually change our brain chemistry. You should never speak like that to anyone who has been in a bad relationship or like me a horrific situation that was completely out of my control. We can’t control someone’s behavior towards us and when you have run out of options, it’s scary. No one just sits and takes it. Unless there are REASONS which there could be many. I did not sit and take or enable my abuser. I made sure he knew it was not ok. The police can only do so much they can’t watch us 24/7 in extreme cases like mine. It was a nightmare and still is because I have lingering problems from being terrorized. PTSD, night terrors…. Etc. so if you have experience in this yourself that is even more shocking what you spewed at me. Read your comment again. I would never speak to a victim of abuse like that. Maybe this will be a life lesson to you. Have compassion even if you don’t believe, or think someone is part blame. They already have been beaten down enough, or have issues, why would you want to add to their pain? Read your comment. Now imagine someone saying those things to you after going through something difficult. I always tell people my experience, and I don’t protect the abuser ever. I tell everyone and anyone that will listen that he’s abusive , a narcissist and what he’s done to me. Everyone should know especially when he has done nothing to better himself as a human. Abusers should not be shielded like they are in the criminal justice system. Woman and some men die because the abuser is shielded by the law. I will always call him an asshole and that’s being nice. It doesn’t mean I’m bitter or not moved on from it , it just means I’m stating a fact. The guy IS an asshole. I have tons of positivity in my life but when it comes to psychotic people, positivity does not help the situation. I think positive all the time. It’s called prayer and I will pray for you that you don’t make such quick calls to judgement ever again and throw it out there into the eternity of the internet for everyone to see…. You need to work on yourself it seems. To say those things, you have some work to do. I hope you find some peace.

[@bybyana26]

You are 1000% right! My ex tried everything for me to leave my own house that I owned! Twisted!!!

[@resilient8788]

Omg! Dito

[@cyanidecupcake231]

That's crazy!! 😳

[@mightymouse1005]

Lol...mine tried the same thing...he moved into MY house. Almost immediately started saying I should put him on the deed...wanting access to my bank account etc....NOT happening...and twice, told me to pack my shot and leave...I just laughed and told him. If anyone leaves, it's HIM no way I'm leaving MY house

[@Hope.8162]

@@mightymouse1005 where is he living now?

[@kellytrotter8565]

I'm curious, were you able to get him to leave and keep your home?

[@margaritagomez3490]

Sort of sounds like they want you to fight for them, to prove you love them even after the abuse

[@Mary-zo4rx]

You got it

[@yvonnegrijalva1047]

Nope.,, the are like a Dr Jekyll & Dr Hyde.., and LOVE ♥️🤨the person who u think I’d AWESOMNESS, turns out to be the Meaniest, Control,Liar, and their the Victim not you, .., I’m thankful for always being in prayer, because I tell you Sister.,, GodsLoving an HE PROTECTED ME.,An got me the resources for me to escape carefully ♥️☝️🙏🏼.., and when I seen him with our so called friendly nieghbor... ( I just knew she wa th first Red flag 🚩..,) and what a !

[@crystalthompson6934]

Thats exactly the vibe i always got.

[@daniellem578]

Yup

[@narrowstone5363]

They don't want you to prove you love them, because they fundamentally don't understand real love. It doesn't matter how hard you fight for a narc, they'll still throw you away once they get tired of you.

[@kaylaprice3783]

I hate him for it!!! and now he's telling me.. I'm not the monster you make me out to be...uuummmm yes you are!!! Even if no one else knows it... I lived it!! They didn't!!!

[@dodibenabba525]

They should be behind bars for life. Period.

[@Caffeinated_Acrobat]

Speaking on what you said about liking the chaos, I can definitely attest to this. It's almost like if there isn't drama and chaos and toxicity in the relationship it starts to feel boring and unappealing. This is obviously a very unhealthy and unhelpful way of behaving in the situation or relationship.

[@flowers6576]

TRUTH!!

[@theresabullock3241]

Real talk!

[@lisa198042]

Is it possible that they grew up with that n know no better? It's a case of if they finally see they are causing a problem they can fix it (if they are willing). Or am I giving way too much credit to ppl and the majority will only ever believe they are right and not see others sides of situations? What I have learnt is if it's constantly hurting you just get out..no more what ifs...u can only change urself and do the best u can

[@christinegratzoll2032]

Why when this happens they hover & try to come back ? Trying to move past it but then they reach back out? it’s so mind boggling …

[@flowers6576]

@@christinegratzoll2032 Bottom line: bc they want to "use" you some more - for whatever reason. Maybe their current supply dried up. Maybe they can't get enough supply & have to have their current (singular Or plural) AND their past supply... Maybe they just aren't done with you yet - again for whatever SICK reason they have. But the bottom line is DON'T think that they "love" you, they're sorry, or again whatever lame excuse they give you bc that's All it is - an "Excuse" to get back with you to "Use" you some more in their sick little puppet playing. Block them & go completely no contact & Stick With It! That's the Only way for you to move forward with your life without them! Best of luck to you!

[@shirleybecker495]

I've been living with this for 36 years!! Even though we divorced we are forced financially to live under the same roof. He completely changed within a week of our wedding. It's been pure evil hell.

[@rue258]

Wow my ex husband changed after the wedding and became abusive. I left him after 3 months of marriage saw that there was no future.

[@gigidavis5]

How well I know

[@nancinew8288]

I knew within a week of getting married that I made a huge mistake. Thankfully, after 10 years of pure hell, I’m narc free. Yay me 🎉🎉

[@TheRoozGBN]

Stay strong & take care x

[@kristinethompson5445]

How have u stayed? I’m thinking of leaving mine (assumed narc) and I’m stuck financially what do I do?

[@tairescebingley]

Currently going through this. He is pretty much love bombing all over again coming up with ways to work on the marriage just to say he’s trying and I’m not but I’ve studied his narc behavior so much I know what he’s up to. There is nothing I can do to ever be good enough for him, to make him actually love me and treat me right. I will only lose myself more and more trying so im secretly planning my escape so that I can some day have my peace back.

[@nickiiimar]

Stay strong 💪 breathe. You got this

[@It-Is-What-It-Is.]

I also had to plan quietly for my leave, otherwise the drama will never end. I left without a penny and stayed in relatives house for 2 years finding work before standing on my feet. You can do it.

[@kayb660]

With narcs it's never about you outside of being "supply ". It's all about their issues, brokenness, trauma, fragility and deep insecurities. Don't internalize their issues, focus on healing and improving yourself...

[@TheProxy9]

Same. Just started. Sorry this is short. Freaked out.

[@soleil4124]

Anyone else not a fan of people after running into narcs? I've dealt with four... My heart feels like a black pit.

[@marymcauley]

❤

[@flowers6576]

Every. Single. Point. TRUTH!! Thank you for validating us!

[@RawMotivations]

Thank you. Trying to speak truth to help other heal.

[@flowers6576]

@@RawMotivations Seriously, it's like you are a fly on the walls inside our house!

[@calmcalm6203]

Narcs r demon possession...:(

[@calmcalm6203]

Free them Jesus pls

[@moviedeeva]

Once I realized that I was involved with a narcissist, I knew in my heart that I'd be so much happier without him. The same man who'd sung praises to me early on was the same man who had said, "...it's all YOUR fault!" No, thank you; I have so many wonderful people & projects in my life, I don't need someone who is hurtful. Kiss him... goodbye!

[@kjaneb9878]

Ah my god this is my story, 18 years marriage, I didn’t see that he was a covert narcissist until the relationship ended. Then he alienated my children with lies, manipulation, countless false allegations of abuse against me, my friends and my family. Vile individuals. So glad I escaped!

[@Calmerthanyouare17]

I always felt like my ex partner needed to be angry in order to feel normal. I had never met anyone before that was offended and upset by just about anything. Even things you’d never dream of getting upset over.

[@HSoapes]

That’s how I felt😢

[@samstone2424]

Same ❤

[@shirleyguinyard8183]

That's my Narcissist husband

[@Emma-ee6mc]

He can get crazy angry just because the dish washer was broken and did not wash well the dishes…. And he curse each time when he could not play guitar well …but he himself is the one who is playing ..so I don’t understand who he is angry against …

[@jaredmartina9107]

Wow thisss

[@Ashbyee]

I think this absolutely what happened to me. I have always said he wanted to look like the good guy and tried to make me look nuts and that my children were horrible. My friends and family were so happy when I finally left. Great video. Very validating.

[@marieblaha6263]

Why do they trash us in bad places like home

[@valerieseals329]

Yeah, plan on being the bad guy.

[@bmedhi1592]

Its amazing that for a WEAKLING someone else has to suffer so much.. That the entirety of negativity of a human life is dumped on another. When we just have enough really to just deal with the negativity that we accrue for ourselves. That's like swimming on the back of another person and trying to drown them - for life.

[@GodsGirl871]

My Narcissistic Husband pulled the same tactics on me three times over the last 12 years, however this last time I stood my grounds and did not leave our marital home and went no contact and took back my energy, now he’s in our guest room shaking and wondering what’s next, I’m grateful for this channel and others like it, as I was going crazy, trying to figure out how someone can have the world and yet still be a miserable human being, Self Love and Self Preservation with no contact with the Narc, his agents/flying monkeys or his family members is the best way to go…

[@rugyjoy]

I am in the exact situation. How are you coping day to day. I am pregnant (6 months) and my goal is to wait until i give birth.

[@mapleleaf902]

I stood my ground and not leave the marital house after his affair and narc lying, emotional abuse. I moved into spare bedroom, I distance myself. Getting my ducks in a row.

[@Shut-up-Shelly]

@@rugyjoy probably would be better to go now...my neice was in same position and she came to my house in Tn 6 months ago...the baby is now almost 2 months old and he is better off to not even know his abusive sick narc dad...she and I and all of us are doing great without an abuser living with us!! Get out now it will be better!!

[@evonne315]

Best of luck to you and stay safe!!!

[@GodsGirl871]

@@rugyjoy honestly it’s hard but I’m praying daily for strength, when you love someone, it’s extremely hard to completely ignore them, but it’s the only way to preserve your energy and protect your peace, the amount of information out there on Narcissism Personality Disorder has tremendously helped me recovered, I almost had a nervous breakdown, after nursing my husband back to good health, after surviving Covid Pneumonia and he treated me like mold on bread…

[@LucySoo1]

This makes so much sense. I got to a point where I had to leave him. Left his house and he didn’t say a word. He wouldn’t even speak to me so I had to do it over text. Still said nothing. I feel like I imagined the entire relationship

[@heidiharris9227]

Yep....just left today..... Today I got kicked out because he let me borrow his paints and I "used too much" lol..... Done.

[@heidiharris9227]

And he let me know this by screaming at me for like an hour.... Didn't like the way I mixed the colors together... Lol psychos man

[@Mary-zo4rx]

@@heidiharris9227 he kicked out you before or this was the first time?

[@heidiharris9227]

@@Mary-zo4rx like in between the 10th-20th time in less than six months...and the fastest time as it was only after one day this time generally it would take him about a week... But I started getting stronger and catching onto his abusive behavior patterns so it was quicker this time, and was also the last time...since I finally realized it's him and not actually me like he tried to project.... In reality, the hell I just went through gave me a strength I haven't had in the past.... The truth will set you free!!! 😄

[@honestlyhonestly1770]

Treated me like crap and told me to move back home then accused me of abandoning him

[@marysullivan3881]

They don't want you anymore,...until they do. Don't get whiplash.

[@jolly7728]

I'm glad you brought this critical issue to light. They want you to leave because they lack the means to flee and wish to preserve their face by playing the victim. Excellent points made in this video that you won't find on other channels. And yes, they have someone waiting in the wings, but who cares?

[@blossom3468]

Got that right! Just more avoidance to keep their mask in place

[@whodoyouvoodoo3024]

Exactly, who cares. I told my mom the other day that I wish I could warn his next victim. I know I can't for all the obvious reasons. But I will be praying for all his victims to come. God bless their sweet souls.

[@lizzleonard7256]

@@whodoyouvoodoo3024 I'm actually fighting for the next woman right now. It SUCKS and I hate that I still miss my best friend, and I'm mourning the loss of someone who never really existed in the first place. But I have to love that next woman more than I hate my own pain. I have to love all of the broken women I discovered from his past, and the son and grandsons he denied ever having, and the family of the man I'm quite certain he got away with murdering years ago. I spent most of the day in court, being grilled over and over again, and I wish that were the end of it but it's not. Not yet. But he's been in jail for 2 months, and he's going to prison for probably 10 years, and that next woman will never know what she was spared. If only one of the broken things before me had had as much fight in her.....I could have been spared too

[@whodoyouvoodoo3024]

@@lizzleonard7256 Wow. I'm so sorry that you are in so much pain but.. you have to know you are better off. I will be praying for you so that you heal and find your peace again. I left the narc in my life one month ago. I was so worried that I would miss him or that I would be devastated by all the aching pain inside me. I wasn't. I'm not. Once I saw him for who he truly is.. I guess that was enough. I won't ever go back to him every again. I hope you let your ex go too. In time. God bless.

[@staceyangers9839]

He'll do the same to whomever is with him

[@jennifera777]

He was gaslighting the whole way throughout the relationship not just at the end.

[@barbarabburnett8488]

The last time I saw him he pulled out all the stops on what he knew I didn’t like about him. But now I’m glowing-up! I’m so happy and at peace!

[@TheAmazingRandy]

They also want to force you out of your house because they intend to rob you of all your valuables, before they leave

[@AliValentine143]

He definitely has a plan he's been working on he just didn't ever respect me enough to share it. Too bad he never gave real love a chance, I had real happiness before his chaos and I have joy to look forward to as I do the hard work of healing. In order to fool the next chick he's gonna have to go so so so low, I'm gonna pray for strength now. This very valuable insight. I'm going to keep it on replay as I cry thru and try to have faith to keep moving my feet and plan forward. We all deserved the fairness of an ethical goodbye rather than just devaluing until we get fed up and left. Not another day wasted wondering why I wasn't good enough.

[@spacegirl226]

My husband too. He was making plans for his future, which did not include me. He was always secretive and private, and I'd have to beat him to get him to talk it seemed like. Then he tells me his plans, and I, the long suffering wife who did everything for him, was mysteriously missing from those future plans. Ah well.

[@yvonnegrijalva1047]

Ali... your a Beautiful Bless Woman and my husband Kenny~ he never gave LOVE A CHANCE, and I’m with you.. mine was a SHOCK, I married fo second time ( I was a widow 20year) I met Kenny, a year later after a comatose/ heart attack, Thanking GOD ~ MYDAD ♥️☝️💝I’m Alive, happy,joy, peace and a single ( widow woman).. and I fell in love with Kenny ( single) as he said to me and not sleeping around either.( WRONG 😑).., our marriage was short lived... but I wanted to say keep moving forward, healing is daily, as I’m too doing this , and praying, reading scriptures, I didn’t get my questions answered from my husband Kenny, I couldn’t except that he lied about, an Cheating on me, Shocked 😳 and BETRAYAL For SURE!!!!BS... it is going to take time, for me it’s going on some years since the separation, I didn’t divorce, I stood on Our marriage vows , until death focus part, even prayed for reconciliation of our marriage, he died suddenly in September of 2020, with the woman he left me for at his death bed,what a sick man ( and kept me away, he dumped me for our nieghbor) and I’m still trying to forget about, an let it go, and I can’t keep going on like this anymore, please pray for me ( I’m in my 60’s) I thaught my second marriage was going to be the One. An it doesn’t matter what age, my husband ws 70yr acting like a player that narcissistic person is/ ... my husband did not value me and did not have any respect for, an did not take responsibility of his hurting me and leaving me stranded in Colorado with nothing, no home, he kept our pets so he can use yo get me to come begging for them as a pawn ♟ for him to control me and make me out to be th bad guy, while he cry out He’s the victim; A Bad Dream Indeed!... stay strong, You’re a Child of GOD, A Beautiful Bless Princess 👸🏻♥️💝 LIVE LOVE LAUGH, PRAY, go forward with Life.. as I’m going through the storm but I’m not ALONE, MY DAD ♥️☝️Has ME!♥️🕊♥️🙏🏼

[@AliValentine143]

3 month update: I broke No Contact yesterday and I'm emotionally paying now as my time away has cleared my mind to view how his words are literally out of Dr. Ramni's book. He hasn't a clue how his self-centered words prove his incapacity for emotional intelligence, empathy, respect. He's a secretive, angry, liar. I'm still working on forgiving myself for staying so long, believing in him so much, for allowing disrespect.

[@Envlo]

yep. Had a narc coworker with a live in girlfriend that he was no longer happy with. his feelings towards her was very odd. He wanted to marry her and kept saying he'll kill himself if she leaves him and he refused to break up with her. But he cheated on her ruthlessly with men and women and even introduced her to women he was sexing and brought the women to their house for a potluck and the girlfriend had no idea. He kept amping it up and getting messier and messier and more obvious that he was up to no good like he wanted to get caught and for her to leave. But simultaneously he did just enough to not get caught and feared her leaving. He definitely enjoyed the chaos

[@btfields323]

Some of the narcs are bisexual. I certainly found out mine ex narc was. It was heartbreaking. I don't trust men at all now

[@jolly7728]

​@@btfields323This I have witnessed with a married female narc! It's all about maximizing narcissistic supply wherever it can be found - including innocent/vulnerable family members - while concealing oneself in the cloak of religiosity. There is no one more psychologically damaged on the planet than a narcissist whose co-morbidity knows no bounds. Basically, they don't want to do anything right! That's what makes life exciting for them.

[@GTGinley7]

@@btfields323 SAME WITH NARC WOMEN they all just enjoy the admiration and praise from whoever gives it the best is the idea.

[@tamz-b1h]

FML

[@AdairCty]

Well, that was 100% true. He was quite cruel the last year. I think he was very disappointed that I wasn’t showing signs of leaving. So, he staged an Oscar winning performance…the rage of all rages…filled with disdain, hatred, contempt and terror. I felt my life might be in danger. I left soon after. He won I guess. But I did really…no more trying to “make it work” with a psycho. And he can now publicly sob as he tells neighbors and acquaintances...”She left me!! “

[@beencouraged4163]

You won!!!

[@phoenixrising8007]

Thankfully not everyone buys into their performance ~ fact Guaranteed !

[@rebeccacoffey9680]

Oh my god, I'm literally in this situation right now. Ur ENTIRE comment is like I typed it myself. How are u doing now after all this time?

[@AdairCty]

@@rebeccacoffey9680 I am doing good. I sincerely feel that I’d still be there…trying to make it work!…had I not witnessed his out of control behavior that night that might someday kill me. I will always mourn the beautiful home…on a river…that I had to flee (in secret!)…good friends/neighbors (we had relocated to a small rural town a year after our marriage), and the new life I thought I had started. This was a second marriage, and I was in my early sixties! But, with God’s help and a lot of prayer, I made it through. Counseling, reading, seeking out experts on narcissism (Dr. David Clarke…he has a Facebook page and books on the topic) are very helpful too. I also had to face my co-dependent tendencies and why I was, for a while, “tolerating the intolerable”. Best wishes to you and remember…you are worthy of good treatment!

[@redsquirrel1086]

Watch how a 6 year old behaves and then watch how an adult narcissist behaves. It's the same pattern.

[@sistergoldenhair1809]

6?? That old?? Lucky....

[@ruthdeliah2]

He never respected any boundaries. He insisted there was value in keeping the revolving door open to his ex wife’s and their daughter’s home. Yes! The value was anytime we had a big fight he went there. Today we are broken up. A little over a month. He went straight to her, committed to trying again. 12yrs with me. Erased. He tells whoever will listen he is living his best life now. No more chaos. There he has order, structure, peace. Broke my heart! But I must admit… when he left the chaos left with him. HE WAS THE CHAOS HE SO BADLY DESPISED!!!😡

[@tinababy86]

I’m angry but I’ll get over it

[@chellotrevino7323]

GIRL YOU A BAD ASS BITCH FUCK THEM REMEMBER THEY TREATING THE NEW SUPPLY NO BETTER ❤

[@starlingswallow]

He sure did. He tortured me for 14 years. I finally found my self worth and left. He tried twice to get me to reconsider, it was pathetic attempts. He knew I was done. I left HIM and he's using it to be, wait for it....THE VICTIM! Always the victim being DONE to. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I'm free and loving life as I heal through all the damage.

[@kimperkins5010]

Starling, I just had to respond to this. I laughed my ass off. The part where you say, "wait for it... the victim. Lol. My narc husband plays the same stupid crap. I'm so sick of the frigging drama and his victim mentality. Going no contact in a few months when winter breaks. Good vibes your way. Take care.

[@nikimoreno5311]

I’ve been married for 15 years and i’m just now realizing that my husband is a narcissist, and I’M DONE! I cannot continue in this crazy cycle. I do know that i have to be extremely careful now that i want to divorce, specially because of our 10 y/ob son. Any tip/advice?

[@gracestanley3070]

Precisely correct, all narcs play the same game, when they sense you’ve figured them out for what they truly are, then they’ll turn up the volume on gaslighting and other tricks and forms of abuse, torture, or harassment toward their target to get them to leave so they can flip the story and play the victim and throw themselves a pity party which goes something like this “Do you see what I had to endure? Do you see how mentally unstable so and so is?” … bottom line, leave the narc as soon as you figured him/her out, your mental health and overall well being is far more important than Satan’s children.

[@moonfairy74]

Exactly! and be prepared to be called the narcissist! LOL!!!

[@doesitmatter9022]

You win - that’s exactly the game! Once you have been with one (or in my case, 2), stop the madness and learn as much about it as you can. Protect yourself and the first sign of this in a new relationship, run like your life depends on it bc, ultimately, it does. These people clinically are not able to change short of a miracle.

[@kathyfoley397]

Yes. Correct. He says to our children "do you see what I have to live with?" Been doing this for years.

[@tinababy86]

This is cold. I broke up with him and he punished me. He did all of this reverse stuff that just caused me so much mental turmoil. I didn’t even know he was “hoovering” when he was doing it. I just kept thinking he was trying to win me over because he didn’t wanna lose me. I just didn’t like how the relationship had to end in order for him to do the right thing.

[@hw2211]

This is spot on! I left her because I was tired of the insults, verbal abuse, and down right disrespect! Of course she played victim like I didn’t try harder enough or didn’t suggest counseling. Two to three weeks later she was in a relationship with her ex ex boyfriend.

[@Joshdifferent]

😂😂 story of my life

[@angelp9065]

Good the ex did a favor. Took trouble, torment, grief, and chaos off of you.

[@rayc9899]

When they want you to leave to treat you with so much disrespect that nobody decent would allow it, they act like asshole, coward and bastard and then you know their character a perfect match with their reputation.

[@kimstovall3739]

Lmfao same exact thing bro! Had me doing the most, loved her to death and in the end left me for her ex cause he was making more money and she couldn't use me the same way.

[@hw2211]

@@kimstovall3739 sue even tried to come back after her and her ex started fighting. So I had her give me head in my car and I never called her again. I always win 🏅

[@louiseconroy9140]

Yes they are weasels and cowards.....

[@Wanderingnomad2829]

This is absolutely true they try to do it without actually doing it and once you leave they stalk they smear they want you back it’s sick

[@emmaharper860]

Exactly what mines did. Change the whole narrative. Nothing of what he did to get us to this point. But anyway he had her waiting in the wings 12 days after signing the divorce papers,his new soul mate was was cheeseing she hit the jack pot. I wish them the BEST👌. Thank God I'm free🥰🥰❤💯

[@prayingmother]

Omg I'm here now and he will not tell me he seeing someone else I know that feeling and the crazy part is they love making u feel bad I was like a wife to this loser.

[@emmaharper860]

@@prayingmother I didn't feel bad .I had had enough, So I'm thankful🥰

[@nattybumbum2]

Wishing you all the best!🤩

[@phoenixrising8007]

@@prayingmother They don’t always have someone else when they start devaluing you, they just pendulum back and forth from love bombing to devalue, back n forth. They don’t always discard or have someone. If they do have someone hidden it rarely comes to light so getting their coveted confession is next to impossible. Closure with a narcissist is an inside job, finding peace and sanity must trump your need for proof. You must trust your gut first and foremost bcuz your gut never lies. Learn to trust & honour your intuition to find Peace and make the necessary choices that aren’t easy but well worth the effort ~ Blessings

[@b.boston8529]

@@phoenixrising8007 I wrote, "too relieved to grieve," when I finally saw the light and knew the solid decision I had made in response was the right one. However, as dangerous as I knew him to be, I never had an inkling the depths of depravity he was willing to go to, or the hell that would further cause us.

[@ayttiiie7]

Yep, they want you to leave so they can go do what they want 💯

[@Refining_Visionary]

They want to be the victim-by-default because there is a 99% percent chance that they committed a crime (usually a federal offense) against you and they don't want to be exposed and locked up.

[@sunshinecole3494]

I needed this.. I've been feeling like he's purposefully making me miserable, for a while now, just so I'll leave. But he says he isn't but now that I watched this video, I'm positive. Thank u

[@RawMotivations]

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm glad you are able to think it through although healing takes time. I wish you the best on your journey!

[@sds6303]

What’s ironic is that when the narc leaves for the new person, they need to understand that life happens and that ‘high’ of a new person will eventually fade as things settle down. Then they get bored & seek out another source of supply. What a cycle! Thanks for posting!

[@daviddyess3938]

Even with non narcs, when you leave someone and find someone else, they too are only human.

[@ageckomiller]

27 years, 6 year old daughter, house, jobs, normal life. Or so I thought. She told me after a confrontation that she was hoping I would get sick of the abuse and leave. I found out she had been creating her flying monkeys (friends) to be against me by telling them horrible blatant lies. I'm stuck. I have to stay for our daughter or shell destroy her also. Never felt so used in my life. Vulnerable NPD is the worst. Far worse than grandiose narcissism. A grandiose narcissist is like a sniper, they'll kill you quick with one shot. A vulnerable will slowly torture you until you kill yourself. Absolutely evil evil evil.

[@ageckomiller]

And I find out 2hrs ago she cheated on me just before she got pregnant with ?our? daughter. Now I need to get a paternity test. Yay!! The fun never ends. What's next?😭😭😳😳😭

[@MLila-qp5ml]

You can go and take the Child. Staying will ruin you and the young.

[@julieloynes7043]

Hang in their i did eventually he moved out , after he’d tarnished my name destroy everything I believed in .

[@MrFredsAdventures]

Yep 27 years for me too. Fortunately all four kids are grown. Hang in there.

[@chris9527]

I hope you get away from that man it sounds like she doesn't even deserve to talk to you. At all.

[@abdulc5726]

Thank you for validating my experience. I lived exactly this!

[@PassionateFlower]

Yes. My ex narcissist already had his rejection for me fully planned out well in advance in his own mind before he even approached and seduced me. Then to get rid of me after he love bombed the hell out of me he made me feel so weak and delusional and pathetic and stupid for "falling" for him that I was forced to leave him alone and he made everything intense and over dramatic then blamed me for being "too much for him" and that he "hates drama" but he created it out of thin air just to excuse himself from talking to me ever again after he got what he wanted out of luring me into being intimate with him. He couldn't be more proud of himself for executing his "mission" successfully and "guilt free".

[@moonfairy74]

sounds exactly like my situation!

[@marytepley8145]

This is exactly what is happening to me right now!

[@rebeccacoffey9680]

Same. And although I KNOW that staying would be extremely unhealthy & damaging to me mentally, it's like I wanna stay just to spite him. How f'd up is that...???! 😢

[@RawMotivations]

Start your healing here www.rawmotivations.com/breakthrough

[@dianacruz5985]

In the late 1970s as a teenager, friends and I would observe others sabotage relationships by creating drama. It was likened to a bad play. Here we are in 2022 and not a damn thing has changed

[@jamulandkim3957]

Always keep this in mind when it comes to dealing with a narcissist, oh I'm not the problem here, you are, so I would'nt even bother working on myself, Its you who needs to be worked on, it will always be that one finger that points to you, while all the other four are pointing back at them, thx.

[@lil--mo2025]

It is my firm belief my young, ex Narc girlfriend is just hopping from one sexual experience to the next essentially stealing each man’s character traits and building up her manipulative skill set while seeking the bigger better deal. Each time she gets bored quickly and begins using and abusing the new supply while triangulating with past, current and future supplies. It’s crazy!

[@MadeInTheStruggleProgram]

I just ghosted a girl like that- CHEATED ON ME LIKE CRAZY AND NEVER ADMITTED IT- EVEN MY OWN CHILDREN TOLD ON HER- NASTY AND GROSS

[@bethanyfonseca1728]

Def been there.stay to yourself to build yourself up for you can do anything !!

[@lil--mo2025]

@Sandy Cheeks thank you very much! This message hit me in a major way. My sweet Grandmother would always say; “goodbye to bad rubbish!” I am also surprised to see you mentioned ingrate…my main understanding of this entire debacle has been just how ungrateful this young woman was from the beginning to the very end. I’ve never seen someone be so ungrateful and so unaccountable in my 42 years on this rock. Lol…I thought it was pretty cool you used these words! Best wishes your way🙏🏻

[@lil--mo2025]

@@MadeInTheStruggleProgram I’m sorry you had to go through that. I hope you aren’t trauma bonded, like I was. Picture this…after the sixth time I kicked her out and a summer of her running around drinking and playing the field, she came back into my life and I had her and her daughter over for some home cooking. Her daughter (3 then) was sitting in her moms lap as her moms telling me a story about their weekend camping trip. Long story short-she starts to elaborate on late night adventures and keeps minimizing the 48 year old guy who’s clearly frolicking into the early morning with her. When I asked what happens when they came back to the cabin she acted like there was nothing more to the story. I then asked if she slept with the guy that night. She said; “God no!” “You know I can’t stand him!” I laughed and then said, let me guess, he just pulled out the hidabed and slept all alone while your boss was passed out in her bed and you and her kids and your kid all got in your bed right? She said yes that’s exactly what happened except her bosses kids climbed in bed with their drunk mom. I laughed and looked at her daughter and she was really sad and trying to tel me something different. The 3 year old daughter actually stopped her mom and said; “no mom, you told S… that he could get in bed with us!” When I asked her daughter to tell the Gods honest truth she did. She told me that guy stayed with them in their bed. Her mom is so ignorant and ruthless that she proceeded to call her own daughter a liar. Take in mind her daughter had never lied to me and she herself bragged about how honest her daughter always is. Yeah…imagine being with a women that is that F’d in the head and such a heartless, selfish person, who can’t control her sexual emotions. She had slept with several other guys all within the same month as well and lied about those too, but eventually told me partial truths. The whole time this girl was smearing my name all over town for being a POS, when I had done none of those things, I simply left her for being dishonest and disloyal. I’ll never give another person more than one opportunity to lie to me again.

[@thestylemind4922]

@@lil--mo2025people like that you don’t even ask what happened. Just assume the worst happened because it usually did.

[@lolaweed7467]

Survivors need to discuss this topic more! This happened to me it’s extreme crazy making behaviours.. such a traumatic and confusing experience. it’s been one year since I was forced to leave because of the emotional neglect and psychological abuse - now seeking therapy! This helps so much!

[@djmandyland]

Makes sense... he would say the most hurtful things and when I'd say I couldn't take it anymore I need to get away from this he would say "I understand ✌️" the exact response every time, no "you're right I am treating you poorly and you don't deserve this behavior" sucks man

[@slshack00]

This is what I don't understand about them pushing you to make the decision to leave. Normally the person filing for divorce is the one who is unhappy or who had been abused or cheated on it's hardly ever the abuser or the actual cheater who files. So how does me filing for divorce for his mental and emotional and financial abuse make him look like the victim? I mean he can whine all he wants but won't other ppl question what he must have done in order for me to file divorce on him?

[@seameology]

Right? We took their kids away from them when they never paid attention to them in the first place. Then we're gold diggers asking for child support.

[@tomikoeaton9786]

I believe it my narc met the wrong one he was living in my house he wouldn't leave so what I did was I started emotionally cheating on him now he wanted my attention I starved him for years after all he did he got cancer kidney failure and was on dialysis for 5 years and then dropped dead thank God I've been free 6 years now peace and quiet

[@patriciavaldez1896]

I feel that this is what’s happening in my 26+ year marriage. But for these last couple weeks he’s been on a… I don’t even know what to call it, but I can feel the disconnect. It’s a lonely feeling but when it’s over I know I and the kids will be great!

[@timpronovost]

Wow! My ex and I were on cloud 9 , she was being more caring and loving, met her friends then she saw a picture of me and my friend (which the ex knew the story of the photos) on the beach and said I was cheating on her and broke up with me. Needed drama.

[@andrewboyddotcom]

Wow Tim. I had three years of custody battle with child abuse thrown in and sepsis for it all. I had exposed her.

[@lesliebean4594]

This perfectly explained why my narc ex has made the last 3 years of my life hell. Thank you for being so open, honest, and concise. I really needed this clarity moving forward.

[@RawMotivations]

You are so welcome. Would love to help you on your healing journey. If I can be of help feel free to grab a time here at www.rawmotivations.com

[@lesliebean4594]

@@RawMotivations Thank you so much! 🙏🏻

[@lynchang2007]

They want you to leave but they are no guts to tell you, They fear being alone without your new replacement, So They keep coming back because they enjoying for your effort you are the one who can break out not them.

[@starlingswallow]

He spoke with my parents after I left. He came over to talk to them and I was upstairs in the bathroom hiding, feeling sick and shaking. My parents said he made no sense and they knew he was messed up because in the same sentence he said he would do anything to get me to stay and that also I was the one who had messed everything up. 😳😭🤯🤯🤯

[@Mary-zo4rx]

🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 sick

[@luciddreams6210]

Oh yes. That double speak is something that sticks out to a normal person whose listening to them. They talk a really good game and come off as very friendly but the extreme contradictions in their narratives freak other people out.

[@Twinmama143]

He came to my parents house too, he was claiming that I had an “obligation” to return. And go back to him. For the kids and for him. He never even married me after 20 yrs. unbelievable.

[@SurlyMiss]

This very scenario almost ended me. The same year of my mothers death this man broke me down until I was on my knees then gave me a swift kick to the heart while I was there. I didn’t even know who I was anymore.

[@RawMotivations]

sorry to hear that, i hope you find some time healing from all that....feel free to reach out !

[@SurlyMiss]

@@RawMotivations Thank you

[@garbizwal]

This hits the nail on the head.

[@chakkakon]

This is exactly what I told him while he was attempting to drive me crazy. I said “ you’re abusing me so bad that I swear you want me to commit S, then you can play the victim.” He then gave me his Dupers Delight / Psycho Smile. I’m sure that’s exactly what he’s thinking. Even now.

[@shaunhall606]

Its almost like they dont think we have brains..you nailed it on the head

[@breB0T]

I believe narc wanted me gone and wanted me to leave on my own... One reason she can't stand to confront people. but I stayed regardless of how I was treated. So one day out of the blue she says you need to leave now. I asked if we could talk and said I'll leave regardless... But I was told "no this is how it ends". So I don't get answers but I already know the truth. New supply. Didn't want to put in any effort. Our entire relationship was me trying to save us because the beginning was so good. But now the beginning was so short lived compared to all the times I spent alone or treated like I was nothing. It hurts and I still love her. But I know I can't ever go back again.

[@CS-hy6es]

A Recovering Narcissists words I have not ever heard before Thank You

[@RawMotivations]

We're here to support you on your healing journey. Take the first step by joining our free masterclass, where you'll learn how to break free from toxic relationships and much more. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass

[@dauglove7835]

This is what I’m trying so hard to get over. That I was married to for 19 years , had 3 children with and loved someone who did this Exact Thing Torture and antagonistic behavior to frame me when I’d react A set up that went on and on This is what true dark cowardice looks like. Another person lined up and put he flew with a nice reaction from me to use to play victim Thank goodness my counselor saw right through it or I’d likely still believe all the gaslighting. So sad that this happens. This is a really good video with healing insight.

[@itisfinishednowtimetoclean2723]

Me too, same here, only we had one child, who is now grown. It is horrible. I gave him love, he cursed me but gave me occasional gifts, sweet cards, he feared my leaving but clearly did want me there by his actions, and spoken words… it’s down right insanity! You almost have to live in two realities both opposite both true and not, will make you nuts…

[@leeboriack8054]

~ My narc manipulated me w his kids to draw me into the relationship. When he was done w me, he turned them against me. ~ A pain I will never, ever forget.

[@sandygallagher6609]

Thanks for your honesty. I suspected that he deliberately pushed me out by raging.

[@Bestisyet2Be]

🎯100% Nailed it!!! I wished I came across your channel about 6 month’s ago. That’s exactly what I have just went through. He manipulated the narrative with scene and everything. Shortly after - a month after he left, he filed for Divorce. And now all I am hearing from him is threats that he is taking the kids away from me. It’s been a nightmare ever since, but I can tell you this much, I rather go through the hard finances circumstances right now, but at least I know that once all of this is over with, I will start a new life of my own with my two children and he will be burning in hell with his own trap he is creating to destroy good human being. Thank you for your enlightenment and I really enjoyed to hear that once again, my gut feeling was not wrong when I said to him I don’t want him in my life anymore!

[@RawMotivations]

THank you for sharing your story, thats one tough journey you have been in, hope you are doing better these days! Wish you the best on your healing

[@Bestisyet2Be]

@@RawMotivations Thank You 😔I have good and bad days, but not where I really want to be. Since the relationship ended, I lost my job, so I had to drop the attorney because I can’t continue to pay him. So now, I am at the mercy of self-aide help for the continuing process of the divorce. But, yes, I see myself rising up from the ashes and just focusing each day a bit on myself, like becoming more aware of what I have been through. Not all of my family understands what type of relationship I was in, and so that really does not helps much. So, right now, all I am doing is putting more hard work on my growth and continue to move forward each and every day with God’s grace that one day, I will have and keep a good job opportunity so that I will be a blessing to others just as God has put some new people in my life blessing me and my children in this difficult, but very difficult and strange moment of my life. ♥️God bless you and I hope you are definitely 💯 doing well as well. I look forward to many more of your enlightenment videos.

[@m_ish7]

Thank you so so much for this channel and your validation 🙏. I am going through this now. My sons father couldn't fit the bill more. It's a sad thing when a child is involved. If anyone watching doesn't have a child please be thankful and cautious to not get yourself stuck with people who have no ability to self-reflect or care ability to care for your feelings or the things they put you through. They may use finances and things as a way to prove they're not in the wrong but that is them blinding you. Please listen to this guy. If you are with someone like this and you don't have kids involved, LEAVE. This person will make your whole life hell and always keep you on your toes in the worst way. I am appreciative for the growth I am in the midst of but if you can learn early, please do 🙏 much love ❤️

[@cherylh1807]

Hang in there! My husband and I have three kids together. I don’t know what to do. I feel stuck because of finances and we have no where to go. I feel horrible for my kids.😥

[@mjchristie100]

I was forced to leave, and tbhonest, I'm glad I did.

[@dw1f769]

100% Correct! This is what happened to me. I struggled initially to deal with the fake narrative that he told others. However, as time went by and I educated myself on narcissism, I couldn't care less what others thought. I knew the truth and that gave me peace. No contact is vital in going forward in your life. I "co-parent" on a weekly basis but I haven't seen him in 8 years! Thanks again for your wonderful insight.

[@yvonnegrijalva1047]

💯 is right.., Gracias DW1F: especially the fake narrative that they say of you ( my husband did this also)..now it’s over: it goin to be a year and 6months soon, I’m widow from him ( died suddenly) and Our marriage was a short season. I’m now healing, and taking care of myself, and praying always, and if can be a testimony for another, I thank GodsLoving ♥️For HE SAVED ME , from this situation at time I didn’t know that this was going to become ..., but My DAD ♥️☝️had HIS EYES ON Our Marriage ...,

[@dw1f769]

@@yvonnegrijalva1047 glad you are healing. It takes time, reflection and learning but it will be worth it in the end. The old you that you once knew will reappear, only wiser this time. Keep doing what your doing. Xx

[@avictoria9277]

I just want to say thank you for making this video. I just broke up w/a guy who has done all you mentioned. He lured me in w/the victim mentality. He love bombed me to the fullest. I fell for it. Eventually He’d accuse me of entertaining others when I found out he was the one doing it. His response was “I see you don’t want this relationship”. Right. I ended it. I knew he found someone else after he was done using me. I used to feel sorry for myself and imagine him being with his “ideal” type girl. Not anymore! Your video made me angry. To the point where something shifted and broke. I’ll be perfectly fine if I never saw his face again. He’s no longer in my thoughts. Not holding onto memories, pics or text threads. He doesn’t exist to me.

[@barbarafordham9185]

Yep, mine sure did. He did things I never thought a person would do to another.

[@breakthrough1019]

Great job explaining the dft scenarios .. mine picked constant arguments .. After a while I realized this was crazzzzzy making left without a word .. went no contact .. realizing he had someone else .. his next victim .. narcissistic abuse is real

[@BlackHawk500]

It changes us for sure and you wonder if you will ever get over the betrayal. Hold your head high and stay above the water. They will drown below you.

[@joylouis8965]

Thank you for confirming it. He told me early on that he felt not good enough for me, not smart enough or interesting etc. After that he started to become impossible to deal with. Picking fights over every little thing. Making me the villain. I quit. But then , why is he trying to get me back and make ammends?

[@beencouraged4163]

It’s called hovering. If you go back it will be the same cycle but worse. Don’t do it!!!! Only Jesus can help them! If that hasn’t happened, run!

[@joylouis8965]

@@beencouraged4163 Absolutely not going back to him. Nope. I've been through too much to put up with it.

[@malcolmwaddilove1822]

I've listened to one minute of that and you've covered every angle to what she's putting me through,thanks!!! Cruel,evil,selfish,it's all about me, and me and me ,guess who kicked all this off as she twists the whole situation around? Correct! I'm not alone!!!❤

[@daniellemorse6929]

Thank you for this video. I guess I don't understand why they say they put effort in when they put zero effort in. After my first discard, I took him back a second time and someone told me that he told them that I left him. I didn't leave him the first time. It is sickening how they lie to make themselves a victim when they were treated so amazingly well.

[@MP-nm9df]

Just WOW! I’m not new to all social media info on narcissism. I’ve been educating myself for many years. But this is definitely the first time I’ve heard a video on this subject and Ben, you are exactly spot on!! He’s used every abusive tactic there is to try and make me leave so he can be the victim. I’m not going anywhere, it’s just too emotionally and financially unbearable to make that first move. He has forced me to live a life on my own and that’s what I chose to do instead of leaving. Its not a life I would wish on anyone ever, it’s hell on Earth!

[@quietbetzy5140]

My situation is similar to yours MP except I’ve been married 34 years. My son is graduating soon and then all bets are off. My husband is getting worse with his aggression, gaslighting, outright lying and now has been flirting with every thing that moves. He says I have to leave, it’s only ‘fair’ that I should walk away from any claims on the house or his retirement because everything is his, I’m just leaching off of him. I can’t wait to get my half and move on to a perfect life without him. Just a little more patience…

[@MP-nm9df]

@@quietbetzy5140 I’ve actually been married for 32 years but didn’t mention it out of embarrassment and stupidity that others will judge if they haven’t lived it. All my children have moved out and it most definitely is getting worse, if that’s possible. Your narc should know that you are entitled to half (it should be more in our circumstances). Only we know the sheer destruction that they cause. Our children that have been exposed to it, are desensitized and can even take the narc’s side. It’s such a horrible situation for the victims.

[@LIK64]

Spot on, he wants me to leave then he can tell our friends he's the victim, he didn't do anything wrong and I just up and left him. I won't play the game. If he wants out it's on him.

[@Roethles]

@@quietbetzy5140 be careful. Give him no clue that is your plan.

[@MrFredsAdventures]

@@MP-nm9df Yep mine got worse after the kids left. She was bored. I was discarded after 27 years.

[@star3006]

It’s pure Evil 👿 the Devil Himself father of lies . May God have mercy on their souls it’s a shocking . So glad I’m free of it . Thank God 🙏🏿

[@itisfinishednowtimetoclean2723]

When you decide to not play toxic blame games…. My long term narcissistic marriage was filled with one bizarre reality; I was the source/cause of all the problems, blame game. I would watch the Rage and not react to it. I only replied with, “do you act like this at work?” He called me “crazy”…, when I tried to get to the source of the cause and solution to the unhappiness, instead I was the problem, he said, “you’re ruining everyone’s lives…”. My reply, “wow! I don’t think I’m that powerful, if you’re that unhappy why don’t you leave me?” I heard myself and left him. He began setting me up via spying electronically. Even put scorpions yes, in my own home in my shoes…. in my home, they are insanely dangerous. So, I finally left, only he didn’t think I would, I packed all I could and was given one day to, “get my S$it out of ‘his’, (was our) house!” So that resulted in constant harassment by he and his family! It’s a potentially dangerous situation. We have an adult child, and if the day comes that I see him again it will be too soon. Get Away from narcissistic people. They are profoundly troubled and if they feel you got away, it can get down right dangerous. Please stay safe, be wise, trust yourself and don’t engage with them on any level…. Peace and Love to all who are escaping emotional slavery! God speed and guidance to all warriors who slay this dragon of Toxic relationships- by getting OUT. One last point, don’t ever expect them to be fair, fair to them is “You don’t count, at all, Ever!” It’s All MINE, that’s how they see life. Move on and be grateful you got away, know they are and will always be street angels, and home devils (when they show their true colors is when there are no witnesses!!!).

[@Mary-zo4rx]

Thank you so much for sharing this, my husband always yells to everyone in the neighborhood to hear, he screams saying for me to leave, that he don't want me, so i start to pack my stuff to leave than when I'm about to leave he will say, very low, I'm sorry, i love you, i will be different, i will look for help, i promise you, i don't want you to leave, my mother left me too, im not worthy of you, right? Never gave you anything? You are not happy with me, you deserve so much better , I'm sorry i couldn't give you more, or do more, then i say yeah too bad for you, I gotta go, so he will say you can go tomorrow, you stressed you not thinking straight, you can go when you calmed down, I stay cause i feel guilty, then he will come at night when im sleeping to have sex , and will please me the best way ever, i don't get it, so I'm keeping distance cause this time i won't stay, I'm tired of having him screaming for me to leave and staying, cause people on the streets starts to see me as the one who is toxic, I'm the guilty one cause i stay after all, and he does that on purpose, cause then people will say well he wants her to leave but she stays, so she is the one that like this mess to continue

[@itisfinishednowtimetoclean2723]

@@Mary-zo4rx You Go Girl! The Best gift you’ll ever give yourself is You Being Free, and a Life away from toxic behaviors! Be safe, be wise, but plan your out, you’ll be grateful you did! Best wishes…

[@twobeagles1365]

So True !

[@katkos2750]

Wow they like to create drama and instill fear in their partner a real man will make a woman feel safe & secure .. Always

[@lesterlumsden7139]

that is exactly what happened to me, when she was offish I thought she was having a bad day when she was nasty. I always made excuses for her. But, she was very generous, we used to go out often to eat as well as go on holiday, I did contribute the majority of the time, she earned so much more than me. She always reminded me I never paid her enough, so I was always walking on eggshells, not worthy to be with her. The hurtful things only happened in private. Recently I was told that there was a smear campaign as early as 5 years ago, only 1 person owned up, all the others just kept quiet, sadly. So sad that I was played for such a long time and all I did was love her always, so much and protected her. Last year out if the blue, she told me to leave, until that point in the evening, we were enjoying a quiet night together. Also, she wanted me to be her friend .. I said I'm not sure, it sounded rather strange to me, but she remained friends with all her ex's, told me openly, I saw them on occasion which didn't sit right with me... I have learnt so much in the past 6 weeks, am so grateful to all the people who know what character traits to look for on this particular subject. It now makes total sense what I had been going through. I thought I was losing it. I was told I was depressed, and dragging her down she did not find me attractive, therefore my fault that there was no intimacy In the year of our 'relationship'. In fact she destroyed my character in the 9 to 10 years that we ' close' it so I thought . I was groomed and so were her friends about me, believing I was never good enough, and she felt sorry for me, and, she was the victim, that's a load of stripe. I battle to understand why I never got out sooner looking back, cos that's all I can do... She never loved me, just controlled me and tried to destroy me in the end. Every tear I shed when she told me to go, was a victory for her, her face actually lit up. She said it had been coming for so long she was over me long ago, it was said with no emotion, no empathy ever. Now that I know what happened for 10 years of my life, I am stronger and making a success of my life, a new chapter in a new city. I am determined to be happy as I used to be. In fact, I only started taking depression meds when I started seeing her. I now enjoy being alone, no drama, no backstabbing, no lies, no deceit, and don't even want to think of what she got up to behind my back, I'm done with her. I hope that I will not be as scared as I am now, to ever have another girlfriend. I do not wish her any harm, I do feel sorry for her, but the most shocking thing is, that I never knew who she was and I've known her as a friend 20 years. I'm not sure if she realises who she is or who she has become, it's a frightening thought.

[@lynettecaballero1660]

Best wishes to you,I went thru similar.💖🙏😇

[@kscott7657]

Wow thank you for sharing your amazing story. You will do great now that you no longer have all the negative energy around you

[@thewiseman4132]

Thanks for sharing

[@Mary-zo4rx]

Sending you love, you have a brighter future ahead of you! Stay strong

[@spacegirl226]

Very relatable to my situation too. I hope you're doing well.

[@AnnieGrace777]

It's great you had the courage to admit your narcissism and now helping others. Well done. 👏👏👏

[@getnthru]

Unbelievably spot on! My wife did this exact thing. Did all she could to upset me, make me angry, cause me to shut down, then would threaten divorce until the day I called her out and told her to file for divorce if she wanted to so bad. Instead she created a false narrative, had me thrown out of the house then began telling everyone how I walked out on her. Looking back, all the signs were there that she was already, possibly talking to someone else and just wanted me out of the way so she could go live her life. Ironically, a couple months leading up to me leaving, she kept accusing me of cheating on her; although I literally went straight to work and came straight home everyday.

[@shodack5124]

I have been trying not to watch too many narcissism videos anymore as I move on from that relationship, but I'm glad I stumbled on this one. I have been wondering for several years, some of those while still in the relationship, if everything he did was engineered to make me look like the "bad" one in his eyes... Best of luck to you in your recovery, and thank you for sharing your perspective.

[@spacegirl226]

Yes. And they will not accept even a shred of blame or be accountable for anything they did. It's your fault, and you will be the villain. But at least you will be free.