how treating ADHD affected my AvPD, depression, binge eating. a 3 month update.

TRIGGER WARNING: I talk about binge eating, restricting, gaining and losing weight as well as other mental health topics in this video.
This video was originally 45 minutes long and there are more jump cuts than usual because of how much rambling I did. It was a big update, I'm sorry. lol.
Also, it's not a P!ATD shirt, it's actually a Motion City Soundtrack shirt that happens to say PANIC! across the top... just wanted to clear that up.
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[@mistiprice8648]

You have been incrediblely helpful to the understanding and comprehension of my own struggles. I sincerely relate to you. I'm so grateful to have come across your videos, I cannot stress that enough. I'm currently on round 3 of rewatching all your content. Thank you so much for putting yourself out there, this newfound solidarity is astounding for me.

[@anxious_and_avoidant]

😭😭😭

[@jjohnston5406]

OMG. I just commented on one of your other videos about how much I relate to your experience, and that I have Inattentive ADHD. I have also questioned Avoidant Personality Disorder, Bipolar II, autism, and quiet BPD, but ADHD with rejection sensitive dysphoria covers most of my symptoms. I also used to have severe Bulimia, but Adderall literally stopped it completely with the first dose. I also have Hashimoto's thyroiditis.

[@user-uo8gu7nt3o]

Finally someone with a similar story :) I am still waiting in line for an ADHD diagnosis though... Your video gave me hope, thank you!

[@ironicstimming9671]

I'm avoidant and considering getting treatment for my adhd so this was actually the perfect thing tysm for talking about our disorder :,)

[@er6730]

I'm so happy for you! I got diagnosed with ADHD in my 30s and you're right, it's such a surprising and positive change! It's like putting glasses on for the first time and realizing that trees aren't big pom-poms on sticks, but actually have leaves! (The whole ADHD thing was a complete shock to me, I had no idea until my son was diagnosed and all his normal-to-me struggles were explained as ADHD. I thought that I was just lazy and careless. I reluctantly agreed to try some meds on him and WOW, his life got so much easier that I hustled myself to the dr as well to get diagnosed too!) It's weird to look back and think about how things could have been affected by my ADHD. I try not to dwell on it too much.

[@anxious_and_avoidant]

Omg so funny having also had the first pair of glasses experience at like 18 😂 So true though, I feel like my life is just beginning in some ways.

[@kellytew-waisnor2462]

Thank you for sharing your story. I’m 45 and just getting to a point where I’m figuring all of this out.

[@Suuuuu1925]

Omg! Driving with a passenger makes me feel the same way. Thank you for sharing.

[@ladybaabaa3294]

I've had my licence since age 19 and I'm 43 now, but I have NEVER driven. Because of AVPD.

[@k.l.3741]

same age and recently diagnosed with ADHD that I was not expecting at all on top of my AvPD. nervous about trying stimulants, but going to be soon, I hope they help me as well! I cannot tell you how comforting it is to hear someone talk about their experiences that deal with similar struggles. I'm also wondering how the stim meds effect the brief periods of mania like symptoms you described and how thats going, maybe that could be a vid topic?

[@dillpickle7358]

I have ADHD and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and I believe that i also have AvPD, going to get a diagnosis soon

[@dillpickle7358]

A little update, I spoke to my psychologist about Avoidant Personality Disorder, and she said that it took an unbelievable amount of courage. I didnt mention Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, but I should have. Whenever I have a RSD episode I have severe rumination and suicidal ideation, sometimes I will even start punching myself in the face. RSD episodes are uncommon for me, but when they happen it's a miserable experience. I also can't speak when I have a RSD episode happens, so I end up trying every fiber in my being to distract myself.

[@shywaldo7152]

Been having a rough a day and this is helping. Ty for your videos!

[@jenniferdragonfly88]

You go girl! 🥳 Thank you for sharing your progress on your journey. I admire and salute you. 🏆 Your whole attitude in this video is positive and it shows. I'm truly happy for you! 🤗 Thank you for being such an inspiration. Thank you for keeping it real. Looking forward to future updates. Stay safe. 🙂

[@Ana-ty8sl]

This makes me want to restart my adhd medication! None, of my anti-depression medication seem to work, but I also fear being put on a cocktail of medication and then figuring out which causes what side effects 😞

[@chilloften]

Absolutely fascinating. You are so attuned to self and aware. I love it. I’ve been scared to use stimulates, wondering how to up my dopamine naturally.

[@beritskagen4167]

Thank you so much for this

[@jakeleeuwenburg2524]

I’m in awe at how similar our experiences are. I’ve had all these different things happening in my life and have been trying to piece together what’s going on. I didn’t realize binge eating was a problem for me until recently but after trying adderall for the first time I was shocked at what it felt like to be nourished without having to have my stomach gorging. Another thing that I’ve struggled with is fatigue. No matter how much I slept I would always be exhausted. I had all these things I wanted to do but I lacked the energy to them. The only thing that got me through the day was caffeine. This problem was also compounded as I’m an engineering student with a workload enough to tire out a well functioning person. I felt super guilty for this and blamed it on what I thought was depression or bipolar disorder and felt terrible that I would skip classes because I was simply too exhausted to get out of bed. The list goes on and on, but one thing I’m curious about is, do you have any symptoms of hyper-mobility? I have Ehler’s Danlos Syndrome which was my first clue that guided me to thinking I could have ADHD as it is a super common comorbidity of hyper mobile disorders. Hoping to get an official ADHD diagnosis soon now that my parents have reached the deductible on our insurance for the year.

[@anxious_and_avoidant]

Hi Jake! Thanks for your comment!! I actually do have *some* hyper mobility but it’s def not in the EDS/dangerous range - but I do feel like my random flexibilities are absolutely linked to my neurodivergencies haha. Good luck with your diagnosis and school! ❤️

[@Bowiepainter]

I was diagnosed as a kid with adhd but refused medication. My mom taught kids with behavioral issues and I heard her complaints and didn’t want to be one of them. Thus began my APD. When my kids were born it was so hard to remember all the things. I couldn’t get myself up in the morning or take care of the house. When I forgot to buckle their seatbelts I finally decided it was time to go to medication. It was the best thing I ever did. I still struggle at times (mostly hormonal like you said you are) but I can manage my life finally.

[@anxious_and_avoidant]

🥲 thank you for sharing!!! So glad things are more manageable now!!

[@of-Israel]

Sad

[@hypercortical7772]

wild the way your experiences mirror mine so much

[@anxious_and_avoidant]

You’d be surprised how many times I’ve heard that now ❤️ we really are never as alone as we feel!!!

[@timothysatyr6674]

I believe I have AvPD and I remember when I started fasting and the experiences you describe are relatively exact to what I experienced with just fasting.

[@dustinrippetoe5045]

You are seriously so gorgeous. After watching all of your videos though I think I have AVPD for sure. I was also diagnosed ADD as a kid. I have attention span problems though, not the hyperactivity.

[@paulshirley8336]

Omg thank you for posting your experiences. I was remembering all night..how the neighborhood picked on and humalate me. They'd stick a hose in our mailbox flooding the house and writing insulting notes about me., Remembering girls I liked and got along great with, but I thought I was horribly ugly. I remember having no freinds and walking down the street pretending I was Alley Sheedy from Breakfast Club, now I know why I'm an entry level at 56. TY on giving so much about.

[@Denebvega]

My doctor won’t prescribe me a stimulant without fixing my depression first I’ve been on Ssri s and now Wellbutrin. I feel hopeless as they haven’t worked. How am I suppose to be happy I can’t focus on life? He’s convinced ADHD doesn’t cause depression. I hate doctors and their I know all bs attitude.

[@MrBUGS713]

Try a carnivore diet

[@divergentmind2023]

check your hormones know your numbers perimenopause worsen our adhd and asd high fat calms nervous system and many mental issues doctors don’t want to give us hormones and i start to wonder if it is exactly what most of us need since everything in this era seems to disrupt our hormonal balance. we cant give up you will find your way back to health

[@MEDJ-ye3wm]

Such a useful video! Thank you. Starting Ritalin tomorrow.

[@rosariolake1810]

I think because of my ADHD develop into avoidant personality disorder that leads to bad eating that did give me hypertension 🙁

[@jetayli]

Thank you :)

[@DestinyA83]

Omg... I desperately desperately need to be on something for my ADHD. Im watching you be able to live my dream life. Until my doctor realizes that I have it, i guess I'll just keep to my dark corner.

[@anxious_and_avoidant]

It didn’t solve my problems long term… not even close. More recent videos will shed light on how I’m doing now. But, it has been helpful, and I hope you eventually get the help you need. 🫂❤️

[@NyteRazor]

I like how your t-shirt expresses what's going inside of you even though you say you are much better. Hopefully I'm wrong. Haha!

[@anxious_and_avoidant]

Lol no lies there 😂 And the roller coaster that is the human experience has me feeling less better these days again anyway 😂

[@NyteRazor]

@@anxious_and_avoidant It takes one to know one. We are the 2.5%. Welcome to the club that never meets.

[@KingsMom831]

You are absolutely gorgeous 😊

[@anxious_and_avoidant]

🥲 thank you so much 🥰

[@autumnm.4254]

[@searchlightsoul]

I have these issues and was late diagnosed adhd . Too late at this point . But after several days of vyvanse , only 20mg it makes me tired and sleepy . I almost had to pull over the side of the road to sleep on day 3. Maybe higher dose is needed or more time or I’m Misdiagnosed . But I’m wondering if this whole situation is down to the avoidance , and not adhd.

[@rosariolake1810]

Adhd plus avpd I thought i was the one in this world

[@justletmesigninokthx]

8:02 I eat like a 13 year old child too !!!! lol 😅

[@jenniferdragonfly88]

🌹

[@briannetarver2261]

Had this diagnosis as well lol

[@nonononothere]

Oh wow. I kinda envy you a lot, 😅 But i'm happy for you! Hopefully your life will now get much more structured and productive!

[@anxious_and_avoidant]

I think this was another reason I waited to make this 😅 because I totally understand… sometimes seeing people improve literally feels worse 😩

[@nonononothere]

@@anxious_and_avoidant oh no! I feel sorry for myself but it's not related to you being better! It is only related to me being unwell and living in a country where dopamine related meds are forbidden. I really like seeing you get better because it gives a lot of hope! Thank you, 💛✨

[@ladybaabaa3294]

The Dopamine thing is so confusing to me. I have persistent depression with anhedonia (the absence of feeling pleasure and interest). I apparently have ADHD (inattentive). I have AVPD. I binge eat, only alone at night, and only sweet foods. I get addicted to things like shopping and getting tattoos. ALL of that stuff points directly at low Dopamine. And yet...when I was prescribed Ritalin in 2019, which is supposed to greatly boost Dopamine...did it help? OMG, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I have NEVER felt so bad in my whole LIFE!!! Still couldn't get out of bed, was EXTRA bored and apathetic, even more depressed, couldn't focus at all, and still avoided everything. I had NO energy! It was horrendous. I think my brain is wired weirdly. lol

[@anxious_and_avoidant]

When I was first prescribed Wellbutrin for depression (which targets dopamine and is used to treat ADHD as well), I had the 2 worst weeks of my life before it started to work. Then it worked for a while until it didn’t. Adderall helped me immediately, but after a year, I’ve built up a tolerance to my original dose. While I do believe dopamine is the problem, I’m pretty sure medication isn’t a good long-term option. For me anyway. Which basically leads me back to the drawing board. ☹️

[@markaoslo5653]

There's no point to me lamenting it, yet I wish that I'd known, one or two years ago, about your work, here, Maxine - I'm just beyond myself, with the current stuff, and this is the 2nd or 3rd, in a row, I've watched, of 1, and 2-year ago videos, you've done - I feel like a cumbersome hack, by comparison (not self deprecating), never-mind how much older than you, I am (mostly, irrelevant) - I can't seem to articulate, what I'm trying to convey - I'd like to see (all of) this get some academic publication, at some point, and largely unchanged, kept available here, and maybe a dedicated site, too - Not trying to incite a complex - it just keeps lighting more lights, on my proverbial 'switchboard' - Yeah, I think you get the idea, I'll shut-up now - I'm compelled, whether I'm compulsive, too... ☮

[@ericnl4491]

Is your RSD managed due to Adderol, or due to therapy ?

[@anxious_and_avoidant]

I was only able to afford therapy very briefly. Most of the work I’ve been doing is on my own. I believe the Adderall helped a lot, but I’m definitely feeling some negative long-term effects too.

[@paulshirley8336]

Hi this is a great conversation What about fantcies/ imaginary freinds of Avoidant Personality Disorder Also meanness I've heard APD can be real mean , have you heard this?

[@madlenj.4644]

Before over a year i stumbled over an explanation video in the algo-rhytm of youtube, the title AvPD kept calling out to me. I clicked it watched it, thought its true..somehow it fits. I got scared at some point and stopped thinking about it, while still having 1000 struggles in my life. But still believing, its because others give me no chance! Which is also true when it comes to work. And with work i could change my life completly. So... after such a long time, i saw your comment under a recommended AvPD Video! Thank you for starting this channel. So your doctor explained, that Adarell fills the dopamin levels in the brain? Unfortunately i live in germany where adarell seems not to be allowed.Instead doctors give ritalin. Idk if it works the same, just read that its more mild?! I read it contains Lisdexamfetamin and so does the med called "Elvanse" but Elvanse is not payed by insurance as far what i could find out and Ritalin contains Methylphenidat. So its a diffrent med. compared to adderall. What i wonder..couldn´t i take the natural precursor of dopamin = mucuna pruriens=L-Dopa? Why dosen´t your psychiatriest give it to you instead of Adarell? Its natural! Binge eating is also a big big Problem to me! And even makes my depession worse. In my country AvPD isn´t really known. Psychatrists aren´t specialized. I don´t know to whom i should go...most are misunderstanding, giving false diagnosis! Can we start a private facebook group where all of us can share the knowledge /Problems/tips/hints/sugesstions about AvPD?