How You Become A Victim Of Female Bullying

[@belle8732]

never have i felt so put down than by other girls i liked during my school years. they would invite me to things purely to exclude me once i was there. it made me feel like i was the problem.

[@darkjackhammer6564]

You were never the problem.

[@Omnihilo]

@@darkjackhammer6564 It’s super awesome how KZbin felt the need to shadowban your reply.

[@ogbigcheese]

@@Omnihilowhat does the shadowban imply? Sorry I didn't get the irony

[@Omnihilo]

@@ogbigcheese You can’t see their reply unless your account either isn’t “secretly” restricted (certain types of people can only see certain types of comments) or if you filter the comments section by “newest” instead of “top comment”.

[@ogbigcheese]

@@Omnihilo Thank you! That's about as terrible as I expected.

[@nociable]

Silent bulling is extremely dangerous. It makes you feel it’s you that has the problem, and it gaslights you so deeply that can cause major depression.

[@willek1335]

Same. When I had a temporary issue with physical bullying, it evaporated the moment I picked up weight lifting. Silent bullying, if done by family, can reside as torture for the rest of your life without the possibility to address it. F up

[@nociable]

@@willek1335, true. But know your worth and be aware that no matter what and who perpetrates your peace, it has nothing to do with you, and it’s just a projection of their own issues and their inability to deal with them, finding an illogical outlet. Do not pay any mind, be strong and don’t engage, let them have their day in the dark; while you have your day in the light of your soul.

[@purrrrrrrple]

My mom and my sister act this way, and invite their girl friends to do the same. Every time I get into a room and any of them is there, there's this silence, this tension, I KNOW they have been talking about me. Can't wait to never see them again.

[@MissBlueEyeliner]

🙋🏻‍♀️

[@nociable]

@@purrrrrrrple, I get your sister, but unacceptable for a mother to do that to her daughter. Turn it around and let them know you know what they think and that you are ok with it because it doesn’t affect you since you know that it’s not true and that all they are doing is deflecting away the attention from their own shortcomings and issues. Then quote Elena Roosevelt: Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people

[@Justanothercog24]

Some times, you won't have a clue where the bullying is coming from because it can be very passive via random rumors & professional or social sabotage. It doesn't stop after the school yrs either because some women never grow out of the mean girl mentality. A lot of ppl say "well if other women don't like you, you're the problem", but the craziest part is you don't have to do or say anything to provoke female bullies. A guy makes a passing compliment about a girl to a group. She gets praise at work. Lose weight, get a haircut, have a glow up, have good fashion sense, be kind, be pretty. Anything that threatens to take attention away from a gal who feels entitled to that attention & boom, you're a target without ever understanding why.

[@chilledjuice]

There is a woman in our workplace going around telling everyone else I am manipulative and also that I should write emails more carefully and not use the words “get rid of” when talking about choosing a new accountant or I’ll be blamed for their death/murder 🤦‍♀️ I didn’t even say that in the email

[@kokolatte825]

THIS 100% I wish all the men could see your comment. It definitely doesn't stop in school. It gets WORSE!!

[@maribrescia]

Yup. They create a competition in their mind and lose in their own game and then they convince themselves it’s ok to mistreat you because you beat them at their own game and you’re just oblivious to the whole thing while being the target of relentless snark.

[@LinMonash]

Exactly.

[@stephaniec.1950]

100% agree with this. I’m in my late 30s and am still dealing with this at work. Sad part is, it’s not my younger coworkers, it is exclusively my older coworkers who one would assume should be mature enough to stop the mean girls garbage. I’ve been ignored in the elevator and in the hallway by multiple women who are my superiors at work, so many times I lost count. They talk to each other. Just not me. I literally have never had this happen with any of the guys regardless of their age range and with none of the younger women. I figure if it was me, at least some of the younger women would freeze me out too. Nope. It’s just them. Sending good vibes to those of you still dealing with this too! ❤

[@claudiabcarvalho]

Then when we grow up, we always get the feeling that a random group of unknown people laughing at a corner of a public space is laughing at us.

[@newkg3591]

I felt that

[@raeofsunshine144]

I struggled with this for years!

[@NinaLady11]

Or you grow out of caring about what others think of you and do your own thing.

[@minniemin1324]

@@NinaLady11 good for you. some people have a harder time recovering and shouldn't be shamed over it

[@chelsealavaya7263]

I still struggle with this and I'm 30 years old.

[@temptaytion]

Omg this is so real. I remember this one girl who left my highschool after her entire circle turned on her. I remember calling to check up and she was crying so deeply and had no idea where it was all stemming from. I witnessed a pretty confident individual ready to lose it all. Girls can be mean, peer pressure and trying to fit in is so real. Having said that, having a healthy group of girlfriends is so crucial. When shit hits the fan, they will all come together and lift their friend back up. Treat people like you want to be treated. ❤️

[@margaritakleinman5701]

Yes, the Golden Rule.

[@teddybearmei8713]

This happened to me 2 times and so I had to move schools :[

[@temptaytion]

@@teddybearmei8713 I'm sorry to hear that. It must have been so tough.

[@prashanthb6521]

You still blamed her back in the end. This is why you people cant be trusted.

[@69SalterStreet]

Often your bullies are your “friends” as well. They keep one girl in the group but don’t invite her to parties everyone else attends or constantly bad mouth her and bond over gossip. And the outcast girl usually puts up with it because they either don’t recognize the toxic behavior for what it is or are desperate for acceptance from their peers.

[@Kareem_Alcindor]

Self-esteem and boundaries are not developed in the World; they are developed at home by loving and boundary-respecting parents. If your parents don't make it a point to tell you what abusive behavior is like and that those girls are not your friends, you'll have to figure it out all by yourself, which is how many parents fail their children. And if your parents are abusive as well, the lesser of the two evils is most likely going to be your friends because a child will never see their friends' betrayal as horrible as their parents. Hence, your parents double failed you at that stage.

[@zoetjez]

Yeah, this happend to me in high school. Had very low selfesteem because of abuse at home and undiagnosed ADHD and made friends with girls who were better at hiding their insecurities. They also had undiagnosed ADHD. They would put me down to feel better about themselves, but I was used to it, so I didn't do anything about. Realized this when I was 24. Was 'best friends' with these girls for over 10 years 😮 ​@@Kareem_Alcindor

[@annaburns2865]

This. I was gonna say that sometimes these bullies are even your family. Especially your parents. I mean think about what happens when the mean girls have kids. You think your mom wasn’t a mean girl in her day? She probably was and still is. If your own mother is willing to bully you, why would she care when other people do it?

[@Kareem_Alcindor]

@@annaburns2865 Pretty sad stuff. To be honest, if a mother shows these kinds of immature traits in raising a child, more often than not there is a mental disorder of Narcissism or/and BPD somewhere.

[@mvh5661]

If you are a child going to school you may not actually have a choice. You have to go to school, and it's not like you can just switch jobs to escape the bullies like adults can. Depending on where you live, there may not be another school you can go to.

[@donnelly5757]

Cannot get much more cowardly than bullying as group.

[@Catapultout]

I think it’s a vestige of perceived powerlessness from centuries of enslavement through marriage

[@lizzi437]

LOL Diffusion of responsibility over CENTURIES 🤣 Sorry, not a good excuse at all.

[@annaburns2865]

While married women still do this, it definitely starts in school. You can’t blame this one on the patriarchy.

[@WhiteMouse77]

That's what communism Is based on...

[@Kurayamiblack]

I once had a female co-worker get the entire upper staff to group bully me out of my job. It took them forever to succeed because I was genuinely valuable to them and never took their bait. But eventually they found an excuse... Oh well, I'm making 3x as much money now lol

[@cartermachiavelli]

The funny thing about this is you can't believe how pissed they get when they realise you don't actually care at all. At that point they try to make it a mission to hurt you in some form or another and would be willing to waste all their energy onto that mission.

[@jessicacharlton7347]

Yes, they do get furious when they keep trying to hurt you, and it just doesn't work. I learned this by accident, because I wasn't socially aware enough to realize I was being intentionally left out as a kid, and I mostly just wanted to be left alone to do my own thing anyways.

[@capyberyn]

Yep it's hilarious how people double down when they want you to beg for their affirmation. Bullied since 8th grade, the exclusion still persists at age 30 despite having many mutual friends. The kicker was the main instigator apologizing to me last year once I was dating someone "popular" lol. He made it clear that he wasn't going to tolerate her acting like I was weird when she first acted shocked that we were together. Funny how that took two decades to come about. The other cherry on top is that one of the passive aggressive bystanders is now a guidance counselor at our old HS. These people have no shame despite the passing of time and the fact that they're adults.

[@prashanthb6521]

This is the origin of false grapes cases.

[@ken2tou]

My daughter was a victim of this when she was in HS in the late 90s. She home schooled in her senior year, graduated and moved on with her life. She is now a successful Executive, and a mature lady of whom I’m very proud.

[@annaburns2865]

It’s basically tribal gaslighting. Happens all the time even among adults. Maybe especially among adults. I have experienced this too many times to count. Been excluded from everything and talked about behind my back. You just know that it’s happening. These women are so mean but in a way you can’t call it out like passive aggressive. Sitting you next to their kids in restaurants, etc. It just makes you want to be the first to leave because you are dying to get away from the toxicity, but you know if you do they will talk about you behind your back. Makes you feel extremely lonely and alone. You wonder how you’re surviving once they cut off all your support systems. It’s -help- hell.

[@thesaddestdude3575]

Ive had the exact same experience, its terrible. I think i get bullied by women a lot because i am ugly and autistic, because of that i kept getting targeted.

[@Hoodeeman]

Sometimes, it is the culture. Norwegian does this a lot

[@louhortonsculpture]

Yes. It never ends. Such disgusting behavior and you have no proof of it.

[@tarynmoore5555]

My only advice is to throw yourself into the relationship part of life. I always ended up bullied by other women so I spent all my time trying to find my husband. I might not have many friends, but I have a loving partner and fun hobbies.

[@Snowbird5779]

This happened to me at a work place and it was awful. It was like 4-5 different people who just disliked me for no reason.

[@wendyphoenix]

Same here.

[@Elle-vm3ge]

I’m going through this at work right now. I’ve spoken to my supervisor about it and she’s hopeless. Idk what to do.

[@jennifershakira409]

Workplace bullying is the worst. I had go through the same at work by bunch of mean women targeting me....I had enough of their shitty attitudes. There after I made friends with bunch of male colleagues who were very kind to ne, I used to have lunch with them & these mean women started getting jealous of me because those male colleagues appreciated me in front of the management.

[@szszszsz95395]

Your acting is spot on😂😂😂😂😂😂. Your story telling is entertaining yet serious. The biggest bullies in my life were my mother, aunts, and grandmother. Not even my father or uncles. My father and uncles adored me and thought I was worthy to be around and keep me company. They are the ones who honored me and played with me. I don’t have one memory of my mother or aunts ever playing with me. The men in my childhood were sweet, kind, and gentle with me. As I grew older, some girls were kind, but most of them were JEALOUS and passively unkind and gossipy and competitive and mean. I didnt know I was pretty or smart, and that THAT is why they were jealous and mean and hated me so much until much later into adulthood because it looked sooo normal and "safe" to be unliked and criticized by passively jealous and ugly girls and women, because of the built-in bullying I was forced to endure and be raised in by a mother who was a narcissistic and sociopathic personality. My aunt and grandmother were similar, but my mother was truly calculating, selfish, self centered and evil. Everything and everyone had to revolve around her impulsive need.

[@d.w.7114]

The bullies in my life were my mother, mother-in-law, and stepmother. My stepmother was so jealous of me that my dad wasn’t allowed to talk to me. I wasn’t invited for any holidays. It was heartbreaking. It’s really destroyed me. My MIL offered me a Jenny Craig diet meal during one Christmas dinner. My mother told lies about me to the rest of my family. Such insecure, jealous bullies. It’s caused me to become physically ill. So damaging.

[@susank2019]

@@d.w.7114 I'm so sorry to hear. You deserved so much better than that. There are so many great women out there. I hope you can give them a chance.

[@alpha3305]

Recently in my 30s, I went to get my masters. The entire class (80% female) was in their 20s. As I tried to socialize with them, they were cool. But once they learned my age everything I did was creepy, suspicious, and needed to be watched. Examples of my creepy actions: started a student organization to help our student voices be heard by the staff, gave individual compliments on contributions of group projects, made suggestions to reduce obstacles in experimentations based on my real life experiences, introduce my family to my peers. The ironic thing is that we were all psychologists studying organizational psychology (workplace culture). They were mimicking the poor effects of a toxic workplace and did not even realize it. If I pointed this out then I'm 'mansplaining', so not worth my energy.

[@smollilbean]

As a 20 y/o girl, thanks for sharing. This makes me want to be nice and understanding towards people who may be in your situation.

[@becsingleton7951]

@@alpha3305 oooft it's lonely being a mature aged student.

[@ansheng9833]

I'm sorry those kids in your course are dumb and obnoxious, don't let their immaturity get in your way though.

[@keyisme1356]

​@@alpha3305 As a female, I've pretty much always preferred male friends. Much less drama and much less hoops to jump through to be accepted.

[@aeoligarlic4024]

Oh, they're gen Z.. they have this weird obsession with age gaps. They went from being cautious with relationships with age gaps to downright assuming everyone 10 years older than them are predators

[@Octavia-nd3br]

Don't get caught up in your "status" in high school. In the end it really doesn't matter. It's just a group of ppl in one class, in one school, in one town, in one city, in one state, in one country. And in ONE CONTINENT. Those ppl are irrelevant. The sooner you realize that, the better. Take it from someone who's moved around. In the end it's the ppl who you connect with that matter.

[@keyisme1356]

When you move around a lot, that's true. When you can't leave, you have to learn to survive it because you'll grow up to find that you'll need a civil professional relationship... You'll be their doctor or checker or local plumber. And they, you.

[@minakumari1515]

Most relevant comment... rightly said

[@annalenabaumgartner404]

They would sometimes hang out with me, making me feel like i finally belonged, but then they would talk about all their plans in front of me and never include or invite me. In the end i never felt like i belonged or was wanted at all. School sucked man :(

[@kyoha9840]

They do tell me that they had plans and then feel bad and be like well, next time u will come with us right? As if I was invited at all

[@Icantunderstandwpeoplearesayin]

I've had similar some similar experiences in school. I had no friends because for some odd reason a little before entering puberty they didn't care about me anymore. I always felt alone, but some times the same people who hurt me would eat lunch with me for example, then never include me in their activities... I can go further but the comment would be too long. I still feel "unwanted" by society even though I believe now I'm pretty nice in general.

[@mariapdr3261]

I’m learning that Mean Girls was very accurate from a psychological perspective apparently.

[@queenofgoldenhearts]

I always considered Mean Girls as a ironic social critique, it shows exactly what happens and how toxic it is through the lens of comedy but everything is extremely accurate! Both the “plastics” and Cady with her friends were realistic characters tbh they only exaggerate the proportions of some things in the movie like the school fight at the end etc

[@holacrayola9209]

School is the worst place i've ever been in my entire life

[@Frankenllama]

school is bad, trying to play corporate politics is worse

[@elizabethgrinningson7730]

Same

[@Scarletraven87]

​​@@Frankenllama NO. You can quit the job. You can't quit school. Nobody suicides over a bad job. A lot of people commit suicide at school. In the USA expecially. Every school shooting is a suicide.

[@AD-eg9cw]

Life will get a lot better once you're out of middle and high school. It was hell for me. I feel so much better now. Hang in there ❤

[@nik51693]

Same goes for me (tbh I'm still in school)

[@S3IIL3CT]

I know a guy who bullies exactly like that. Seemingly a girl at heart. It sucks to be the victim of this shit.

[@dianaayt]

Yeah my best friends started bullying me from nowhere from my point of view when i was in 7th grade I think. I only said "its over" when they started making balls of paper and throwing them to my plate during lunch. Honestly I was so scared of being alone then but i just went to other classmates and said "can I play with you today" and as easy as that i was in. Some weeks later they apologized and we became friends, although still toxic and it took me until high school to be totally out of that. Next year even worse happened with 3 other friends and again I never understood why. Now i can see that my undiagnosed autism and me not wanting to enter conversation talking sht about people was probably was make them see me as weak but oh well. It doesnt matter anymore. but its nice to realize how easy you can get out even when we dont realize or forget. Other people will enjoy your company

[@lillysummer3546]

After years of going through this and now watching this video really makes me feel heard. Doctor A thank you

[@thesaddestdude3575]

Same, the "oh we forgot your invite" hits hard, happened like 10 times if not more in school. I could hear the rest of the kids in class laugh when she told me.

[@itsciver]

Thanks so much for this video! PLS MAKE MORE ABOUT IT! It's a huge problem and nobody talks about it. Like... How can you avoid that, what do you do if you catch someone lying over and over again... If a whole group turns against you, because of this type of bullying etc. I spent years thinking that I'm the problem, and it's somehow my fault for getting bullied this way. My therapist tries to help me with it but I can't help but think it's still my fault... Especially if female bullying happens repeatedly over and over again. In school, at work, at university, etc. Maybe I'm too antisocial, idk, but I repeatedly face stuff like that and it has gotten to a point where I don't interact with other women. Also, I avoid socialising a lot, because it keeps happening. Thanks a lot Dr. K!

[@savannahhorton6379]

Same! It’s hard to find genuine friendships when all you know is being bullied. I keep to myself these days because I got exhausted with being treated poorly

[@Jae-by3hf]

Same, I’m autistic and these types of women love using me as a target!

[@elfinshell4758]

@@Jae-by3hfme too. I’m afraid I’m living with one of them currently. It’s awful.

[@bandanar1321]

I'm so sorry for all of you. I have been struggling to for pretty much all my life with that, I won't lie. I hope it gets better for all of you. There are great people out there and you WILL meet them. But people who are bulluying genuinely just think they are on top of the world. They don't even give a sht about you. You could have been anyone else who's just not as assertive as them. You are genuinely just perfect, but it IS difficult to see that when most of the time, others are spitting on you. But really, one day, you will find one friend, with whom it will just make sense and everything you are will be looking quite good to you, because it will have the right context. They want to make you feel worthless and have fun over your head, I'm begging you to keep on believing in the future. If it doesn't make sense today, one day, you will feel like you belong just as you are. Don't give up. You are just perfect

[@mundodacrianca2147]

​@@Jae-by3hf Just a heads up, try to be careful with your word choice, some people might think you're playing the victim with the one you typed

[@imjustjules]

I have cptsd and bullying was a major contributor that caused it. Thank you for talking about it

[@michaelalexmc]

I'm in the same boat. People don't realise how damaging bullying can be.

[@MonTube2006]

Courage ❤ Have an incredible holiday time

[@k.c.4423]

Happened to my middle-schooler son with boys he had been friends with for a long time, instigated by the tallest boy intimidating the rest to join in, until they pushed my son out. Devastating, with lasting repercussions into HS. He is extremely cautious starting relationships now. He used to be very active and now is very reclusive. Heartbreaking to watch as a parent.

[@Ann.thesis]

This short made me realize a lot of things that occurred with me in my childhood, at school and home, especially school. These kinds of people start young and carry this on through their lives. A lot of past situations make sense now and I wish I had realized these things before when I could have said or done something instead of feeling helpless and dumb.

[@BLdramaClub]

They will chat with you, laugh with you like they are your best friends & then sabotage you.

[@matchalover08]

Ever since this incident happened to me in high school I stopped making female friends due to fear. For male friends, I could keep them as acquaintances easily. But some people will think that's a "pick me" behaviour which is totally unfair

[@mordecaiissad8529]

I did that too for a while. Eventually you realise you need and deserve friends. Your relationships with boys are always gonna be limited, and at best remain at level of acquaintance. Once you start healing, you think about what kind of friends you want. How does friendship look like and how these girls/women are. Then start choosing them yourself and deciding what and who you want to participate in. I spent many years a lot more blind and didn't have the resources or knowledge, but the female friendships I have now I don't know how I ever lived without that. Beautiful inspiring women. And forgive my sexism, but I never experienced that with men, nor have I met men that could be like that so far in my life. You had a traumatic experience and I am sorry about that. People call it pick me behaviour because they see it as you deciding all girls except you are just worse people and boys are better. But I promise you there's a whole world of amazing girls and women.

[@claudiabcarvalho]

It is kinda pick me, because most women aren't like that. Most men are only nice to women that they see as either cool girls or hot enough.

[@matchalover08]

@@mordecaiissad8529 I appreciate your time in writing this comment. Reading this does make me feel a little bit hopeful at least. Yes, I'm very aware that guys will only keep me as acquaintance and not an actual friend because I would still get excluded and not considered as one of the boys. I never had close friendships with guys but just casual chatting is more at ease than having no connection at all. I will try to take note of your advice and overcome my fear bit by bit.

[@matchalover08]

@@claudiabcarvalho In a way perhaps it may seem as "pick me", but never once I try to fight for a guy's attention from other girls or think that they are worse. In fact I was bullied by my very best friend because she's jealous of me. I know there are great girls out there but I've always struggled to find my tribe and the fear of rejection stinks. Anyway I will still try.

[@lillia2724]

​@@claudiabcarvalho I don't think it's kind of fair to say that.... Because she didn't actively try to win guy's attentions and called herself one of the boys. She said she could easily kept them as acquaintances as compared to girls, and for good reason too. She had bad experiences from the past, maybe trauma, that made her fear having female friends. The rational part of her would have said exactly what you said, that not every women are like that, she knows. But she just can't help the knee jerk reaction after what she had experienced in the past.

[@noggginn]

This behavior in conjunction with social media is absolute chaos. Anyone who acts like this are bad people. Man, woman, elephant, alien. Doesn’t matter. It’s awful and you should be held accountable.

[@teresarudolph1256]

Also, some people might say, "Everyone is saying, or several other people are saying (negative comment) about you." My mom used to tell me that my sisters were saying things about me behind my back, until I started asking my sisters about it, and she then stopped doing it. But I have also experienced this from a couple of guys, who were also very manipulative. When one of them told me that "everyone" was saying something about me behind my back, I asked him who "everyone" was, and he refused to answer. He said, "just everyone." I eventually realized that no one else had been saying that about me, just him.

[@capyberyn]

This can be so hurtful. Even when someone isn't trying to be manipulative it still hurts to hear the gossip. Some girls were talking about my looks. Something about not being objectively ugly makes people feel that it's ok to pick apart your looks or weight, it's insane. They'd be the same people who'd advocate for their friends if they were picked on in the same ways. I think usually guys would mention me being good looking or something, and it would get them into talking about me. Something about being attractive to others makes them believe that you've got some bloviated sense of narcissism or self esteem. I've heard more mean comments directed at me. It's rare to hear girls actually make fun of others who aren't attractive, because they know that's a foul move. Something about the opposite makes them believe otherwise.

[@Noggo]

I was never a victim of the female bullying, but in my early teenage years I saw it happen A LOT. When my own friends started growing up, wearing makeup and liking boys I thought that they would turn into the female bullies that I saw in every other friend group, so I cut them out out of fear of being abandoned, not knowing that I was the one hurting them in the process. I have since reconnected with them and we are on good terms, but I sabotaged what could've been great friendships for nothing.

[@SuspiriaX]

Wow. I didn't expect to read that.

[@MonTube2006]

Your self counsciousness honors you. As human we all have to deal with our own emotional behaviour (as well as others). It's normal. God bless you and have a wo derful Christmas time ❤

[@Jae-by3hf]

Thank you for continually highlighting this issue! I watched the full length video and glad to see the short. Are you able to do examples for adults? Especially in cases of domestic violence please? As an autistic woman, I have noticed over the years that women tend to be verbally, emotionally & psychologically abusive and men are more physically violent. The problem with women having that tendency is that they are able to abuse freely and mostly undetected because other people are also quick to gaslight you, when you share your grievances about their treatment of you! They make light of the passive aggressive remarks, the jabs, the bullying, the two facedness etc and you find yourself on your own!

[@UniqueCuriousMakeupArtist]

Well, I finally messaged a female bully, from middle-high school, clearly threatened by me, on FB Messenger, at the age of 43. It was always in groups, but she was the common denominator. The way she approached me always felt like she was approaching me as a hyena, ducked down, running, yet dodging, while laughing strangely at me, like mocking me. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I told her how much her interactions had hurt me, even to this day. I told her that I forgave her and hoped to have a better interaction in the future, moving forward. She never apologized, she literally gave me an emoji response. “😢”. Regardless, at this point of my life, I’m forgiving others, to their awareness, and uplifting those whom had a positive influence in my life. These revelations and messages has helped me heal from the past, and has allowed me to move forward more confidently, towards tomorrow. No grievances, just forgiving and appreciating those, as I move forward. It’s been a very powerful experience! 🙏🏻

[@BronwynneBessette-v7s]

Please ladies, never do this. These people never change no matter their ages They deny everything.

[@marym922]

Glad you've been able to forgive. Honestly, I wouldn't have bothered telling her that her behaviour hurt you.... she will have gotten quite a lot of satisfaction from knowing that! Best thing to do is allow God to choose your friends for you. He allows them to drift in and out of your life, and His choices will surprise you, I promise you that! :-) All the best and Merry Christmas too!

[@jorikschnee9712]

When the bullying started we weren't even aware it was bullying. As a father I felt helpless when it became clear we cannot do anything. No bloody nose. Nobody had enough proof that they could point finger to a person. And of course it harmed the bullies too. But this doesn't help. Now my daughter has been traumatized for years. With some heavy impacts to her soul. It doesn't seem it will be healed in the foreseeable future, if at all. Everybody who loves her pays the price I don't know if the siblings can stand it any longer...

[@Maderlololohio]

She may be neurodivergent. Bullies imo r neurotypicals. Find out what's happening maybe she has cptsd which also presents as audh. And get her in touch w her peers that are neurodivergent. It might help her heal. All the best to you, her and your family! There are names for all this exclusio, being ostracised.

[@mamaofthree8585]

I'm sorry your family has had to go through that, especially your daughter. If at all possible homeschool. Homeschooling will take her out of the situation and allow her to heal in a healthy and safe environment -her home. One of the major reasons for me to homeschool my children is bullying. My oldest experienced it in kindergarten. It starts so young now. Keep her safe. You can't protect your children when you're not there (physically at the school). There are plenty of opportunities and resources out there for homeschoolers. I'm assuming you're in the USA. If so, it's legal in all 50 states.

[@Sliiiiicedcheese]

That...appears so vile and cold

[@annaburns2865]

It totally is. 💯

[@dddddd211]

Life

[@thesaddestdude3575]

This is something Ive experienced most of my life in the education system. In HS in was constant. In the end all the girls in my class hated me and i had done basically nothing. They even levied false allegations of me cheating on tests and on assignments. Luckily in some instances their lies were caught. Same in Uni, one of the reasons i dropped out.

[@johnstarinieri7360]

Correct

[@venezuelanpoodlemoth2853]

Oh and it gets even more confusing when one on one each of them is very nice to you but as soon as there are many of them they treat you like shit

[@Billchill40007]

Dr k and HG, please make more videos on this topic. Particularly on the psychology of these female bullies, why do they particularly pick certain people as their targets, and why do they get aggressive when their victims make friends outside of their group. I have faced this for 5 whome years in my school, and have been searching answers since a decade.

[@sophiewhitehouse6718]

@Billchill40007 I faced what hes talking about in the longer version of this video but i was lucky I'm too autistic and just thought they were the weird ones, not picking up that they were bullying me 😂😂

[@Maderlololohio]

Sensors 70% the so called normal people that speak in riddles. The neurotypicals. Vs the 30% intuitives. The neurodivergents. People w autism adhd etc. That don't speak in riddles that say what they mean. But they r considered weird.

[@soumya5832]

He had done it actually just look in videos section

[@Soothsayer937]

It gives them a sense of power.

[@Billchill40007]

​@@soumya5832he told it briefly. I asked hg to make detailed videos on this

[@elionrekoy4079]

Those jokes are actually power plays. Its about power in bullying. I wonder if only we who are already traumatized at home which means our power was taken, we were powerless and this also plays out in school, with bullying.

[@archie407]

Felt so seen with this short. They were also the same group of ppl who would accuse me of being too sensitive

[@NomadUrpagi]

Man you break down these psychological concepts so well it's a testament to your understanding of what youre talking about.

[@forgethehype]

I feel like a lot of the times too is when you’re friends with people who actually kind of look down on you? And you start to sense this after some time because you start to realize you feel drained after being with them. But the reason why it took you so long to realize something was actually wrong was because you gave them the benefit of the doubt and ignored that intuitive feeling that you just don’t feel good when you talk to these friends

[@smollilbean]

I'M SO GLAD I'M NOT THE ONLY PERSON THAT EXPERIENCED THIS! This is my entire MIDDLE and HIGH SCHOOL LIFE. They'd call me their bsf but i always knew the friendship dynamics were off. Just couldn't point it out, didn't know better. Always trying to make "jokes" at my expense, then when i was upset gaslighting me into thinking I'm the snowflake. But when i make the same joke or have the same energy "HOEWE HOEW HOEE WhY yOu aCtInG lIke tHaT" or making me feel like i was overreacting. Even if i had "fun" with them, i was always anxious inside and watching what i say to fit in. And when i came home i was drained tf out. They'd group call and I'd seriously get a mini panic attack and be internally prepping myself to take the call. Bruh, im so glad I'm out of that mental space. Ive been no contact with them for a year and a half now. On the sides while i was experiencing these dynamics, i also had my bestfriend from 8th grade. She did not hang out with this group but i did. I should've realised that the friendship dynamics between me and this girls should've been the ideal all along. She's still my closest friend to this day We make fun of each other but NOT at the expense of each other. She's not patronizing. Damn that's one long rant. Lmaooo I'm sorry but I needed to get it out.

[@forgethehype]

@ I hear you. And exactly, they give you weird energy and when you give it back to them they get offended but it’s like you started it? You dish it but you can’t take it? Byeeee

[@ansheng9833]

Yeah it's very real. I've had friends who were friends with me just because they felt superior to me. In elementary school these were people who would play with me so they could repeatedly beat me at whatever game they were good at, or just to feel better than me in general. I no longer allow such people to hang around me once I find out what their motives are. Also these people are sleaze, when you finally block them out they'll try to play nice to get you back into their life, gotta resist that phony sweetness for a while before they finally leave you alone.

[@elsh332]

That is so accurate. I watched girls do this to my daughter and it was heartbreaking. I respect how guys just punch on, get it out of their system then move on.

[@jimvenanzio6561]

@elsh332 I wish I could tell you it works like that. I really do. Guys might have the capability but by no means is that what happens usually.

[@Cafeallday222]

Trust me, they know.

[@kevenbouchard7973]

I'm genuinely interested in what you mean by that?

[@uhhsed]

@@kevenbouchard7973the first sentence

[@etherealsoul-k3w]

I think they mean that the victims do know that they are victims.

[@dddddd211]

@@etherealsoul-k3w and that the bullies know too they just don't care

[@thesaddestdude3575]

@@etherealsoul-k3w Not always

[@jingle0h]

Btw this also happens in corporate America.

[@susank2019]

Yep and it's often worse because it's motivated by competition to get ahead and money.

[@janiceprystalski1319]

Yes. It can be financially devastating. It’s really sad 😢

[@marym922]

To my shock, this goes on EVEN in nursing homes! (and among 'missionary' groups, where some are clearly only pretending to be Christians) Name a place where this doesn't happen. I won't hold my breath.

[@Regan4491]

When it comes from your own mother it’s devastating

[@willek1335]

Yeah, how the heckin do you deal with that?

[@Regan4491]

@ I don’t even really know. Just keep a healthy distance

[@soumya5832]

​@@Regan4491wow I wouldn't be able to handle that 😅

[@calicocatcakes]

I’ve experienced this from my own mother and MIL :/

[@thunderouswanderer7753]

Gaslighting is an old skill for some women. Theyve been at it since they were tweens. Thats why i never tolerated crocodile tears from girls as a fellow girl. Its always in the eyes of someone malicious.

[@Omnihilo]

Toddlers* in many cases. There’s videos of literal toddler girls trying to gaslight and crocodile tears their way out of getting in trouble, not to mention I’ve experienced it myself. And then these same girls “grow up” and normalize gaslighting and bullying other women for not wanting to be friends with fellow women as adults. No thanks.

[@bogjuice]

My last job was like this and it caused me health issues that lasted for months. These were all middled aged women + a younger one in her 20s who emulated them and wanted their approval as they all validated and enabled each other while being vindictive, passive aggressive, gossipy, and cruel. They mobbed, triangulated, lied constantly, and were extremely manipulative people who acted like under-developed teenagers. I’ve met actual teenagers with more maturity than these people. I feel bad for them because you have to be so miserable, unhappy, and hate yourself so much that you try to hurt someone for fun and be able to justify it as if that kind of behavior is ever acceptable in any situation. Hope they grow up one day because oof. There’s no way to thrive as a person when you engage in that kind of behavior sorry 🤷‍♀️

[@Kiw4765]

Yes!!! It’s so accurate and true women need a person to talk about or exclude to mask what is happening to themselves

[@melrebel0774]

I survived that kind of bullying, and the girls that made a crying theatre to show how O was bad, not them. It left me with suicidal toughts, acts of auto agression and Łąck of trust. I almost can't trust people, I find it hard to trust myself, only my family and boyfriend help me changing it a bit, it's a hard work but I hope it's worth it. I was from 6 to 13 when I experienced time to time or continuous bulling. I'm 23, and sometimes I still find it hard to feel low key okay between girls. And I must say I don't favorize men, I only find high key okay my 2 best friends, my boyfriend and me. I almost like being alone, on my own, it's because it almost always was less harmful. Yet I need some company too, so..

[@lizzydreamer6940]

I've had this happen to me multiple times - twice from a supposed "friend" group, and other times from normal bullies who I barely knew. I was also bullied by guys in my previous school (one nearly drowned me by pushing my head underwater). It leaves a lot of scars, especially if you used to be a very open, friendly person. It's partly why I am so detached and prefer solitude. Socializing just isn't worth it if you are constantly questioning whether or not people are being genuine.

[@MonTube2006]

Don't let these sad events prevent you from living your best life. Trust your instinct, everybody is not bad. All the best to you

[@sassysophxo]

Happened to me so many times! Even as an adult 🙃 Thank you for highlighting and raising awareness

[@richardsadventures4958]

This happens in the adult workplace as well. All genders

[@AyaneBKing]

Thanks for making this video . We feel heard and validated. Even if it’s been a long time - it is important for us to understand and be understood ❤

[@choibeomgyu9618]

It also makes it harder to understand if the girl is autistic. One way girls bully is by being outwardly friendly while looking down on the person. “HEYYY BESTIE” etc.

[@fmango]

That behavior also happens between adults, at work

[@kevenbouchard7973]

When that's all you know, you endure such treatments. Have no fears, there's always something better to find when you're not feeling at the right place.

[@ogbigcheese]

Thank you!

[@existentialhangover1124]

I'm much older now so I'm glad i don't deal with this behavior so much. But upon hearing it i just realized this needs to be talked about loudly and often in the age of internet, and i don't think I've ever really heard anyone talk about it in detail until now. It's very important.

[@Karlyr_]

You say female bullying... But that was my experience in high school. All boys group. So yeah. That was a fun bit of my life. xd

[@anyascelticcreations]

I was too oblivious to have a clue if it was going on. Lol. I guess that made me a boring target and the bullies moved on to try to get a reaction from someone else.

[@RLWarrior]

I went back to school after being burnt out hoping I could be a massage therapist to help other people with chronic pain. I was one of a 3 guys and the rest were women. It was like high school all over again. One of my primary required classes had a party. Everyone got gifts 🎁 except me. I was told repeatedly that they thought that I wouldn’t show up, I eventually got the hint that I wasn’t invited to a class that I paid for.

[@roselynn816]

This happenes in adult settings, like at jobs too. Amd what can you say to management about it? Nothing, because theres nothing to say. "They dont like me?" My new supervisor came into my department and saw that they were running me like a dog for over a year in one position that burned me out so bad. I had to have a hysterectomy anyway, so when I went off work for that, they realized how hard I was working cuz now they had to do my job. The new supervisor walked in realized this, and quickly made the change. Now we all switch around. The girls still don't like me. I don't care. I'd rather be liked by Jesus Christ then this world.

[@BradMcKenzie-go8ox]

So true, you will only answer to Jesus! Amen and Amen

[@ffdetonados]

That happened to me, and they weren't girls...

[@soumya5832]

Yeah it could be anyone but just generally done by girls so the term "woman bullying " just learn how they behave cause pattern would be similar

[@kimjun677]

Corporate drama is the worst. Even if you don't want to be part of it they make sure you are part of it. I got bullied just for being silent and minding my own business.

[@annalockwood3021]

This is so true!! Not having any idea what’s going on makes the whole thing so much worse. You can’t address the problem because the source is so diffuse, plus the people doing it are always the sort who can’t or won’t take responsibility for their actions. Also, how on earth is it even possible to dismantle the false narrative making the rounds? Being accused of x, y, or z , even though none of it has any basis in fact or reality, then having to talk each individual out of their incorrect beliefs one at a time, even as the groupthink continues to murmur. To this day I struggle to keep my confidence when faulty assumptions get thrown in my face at random. The harm of this kind of bullying is incalculable, because on some level it never dies.

[@ry.hoshiko5482]

Dr K...you are probably the only person that made me realize the true big picture of what I went thru during highschool. I always knew I was bullied but couldn't really put a name on it or explain it bcs the bullying wasn't even physical. It truly felt like I was the problem. And I was so ostracised by everyone bcs I was excluded by this 'popular girls' group. The whole thing really destroyed me over the years. My self esteem, my mental health and me as a whole. Female bullying is truly invisible. Sometimes I wished I would rather get punched. I'm still trying to heal after over a decade. Thank you Dr K for explaining everything. ❤

[@anuraagkumar978]

Went through this with a group of guys

[@RagnarLothbrok-n2h]

True ..I have seen among boys too. I think it's seen in both genders. But it's the females use it more often than boys.

[@BlessO-f8z]

It can often than not happen with guys, but guys seem to keep it more low key they are either directly confrontational or go about the more snake way possible. Talking to the girl they know you like, inviting then uninviting u to things.

[@LadyRenira]

I've noticed this behavior with guys increases in online gaming communities more than physical ones. Could be for many reasons including the personalities or ease of avoidance which is a greater attraction than confrontation, but it seems pretty evenly gendered there.

[@Rollacoastertycoon]

@@LadyReniraonline trolls is easy - Mike Tyson

[@soumya5832]

​@@LadyReniraoh interesting

[@MrQuantumInc]

I remember something similar being said about GamerGate. You couldn't criticize them because you could never find the one individual who deserved blame, conveniently the person you were talking to always claimed to be one of the good ones.. However, this applies to any large group of people who act collectively but don't have a distinct leadership.

[@sparrowarchive]

I've been bullied by group of girls in school, you know why? cause I hit puberty the first, I've been higher than anyone else, and quiet. We even had two boys who been even more quiet but no one been aggressive to them. They even been in group of boys. I also been in an abusive household so I had double bullying. Mom said "Just hit them back!" but I didn't know how, so bullying ended only when they found a new target.

[@jaf8969]

Sounds like my highschool years. One girl I had known since grade school, that didn't like me, and spent her entire time in school making sure the other girls didn't like me. I just ignored them and went on with my life and graduated from highschool. I moved away and never looked back.

[@hitihautriponel419]

I can’t relate to that because I have never been / cared about getting bullied line that. I mean, so long as I could get back home, play WoW and not get bothered, I was pretty happy. It’s too hard for me to imagine how much it would suck to someone who cares about this kind of things.

[@ts3858]

If you can recognize nor care and sit silent while someone else is in pain, you're probably either the bully, or complicit in some way...tf

[@mundodacrianca2147]

​@@ts3858 I was gonna defend him but I'll be a hypocrite if I do, but wtf is this logic man

[@Maderlololohio]

​@@ts3858maybe or maybe they are neurodivergent and actually can't tell every time. Imo it's the neurotypicals that generally bully (neurodivergents). This commenter was imo hiding away from all thst w wow.

[@buchstaben-suppe]

back in school i was in a friend group with one particular girl who valued material things over all else. she would always put down others for not liking things she liked or not dressing the way she thought would be fashionable. the biggest problem though was that she did it so subtly that you where never really able to pin down if she was being mean or if she maybe wanted to be nice. maybe she was just letting you know what would suit you better or she was afraid that others would start making fun of you for being different. you couldn’t call her out because if you just hinted at her being judgemental she would immediately look at you weird, then look to whoever was next to her for validation and awkwardly laugh like „what are you talking about? what’s gotten into *her*?“ ass soon as i would mention i do something differently than her, no matter if it was hobbies or fashion or hygiene, she would cast a glance to the side and have that weird look on her face and say „okaay..?“ as if it was the weirdest thing even though it was just normal teenager shit. i liked anime for example but since she (and other girls in the class as well) would do that shit for the simplest and stupidest things like fashion I never told anyone i read mangas. i felt ashamed about my interests. my self esteem was beaten down repeatedly by these types of girls and its so ironic because looking back on it, the reason why they always reacted that way is because THEY where insecure. they desperately needed to be seen by everyone as the most fashionable, the most mature, the one with the best taste. i‘m glad i’m in a better place now but i still feel slight resentment towards my other friends who never looked too deep into it and either never realised how that behaviour made me feel or they just thought it was just how things where supposed to be, that it’s normal to be put down by other girls for being different. i just hope that maybe nowadays being different is accepted by young girls a little more, it at least seems that way, that girls can use fashion to express themselves more without getting dogpiled on immediately an other girls

[@Jan-qv8ku]

Yup. Female bullying is totally harsh, and often for no good reason.

[@jackass6257]

I was put in a “special” High school class with All girls as an acoustic male, I now realize that was the number one worst thing to happen to me . I was literally alone. They were the fakest pieces of shi I’ve ever met. Acted all nice yet we’re allergic to me, and the worst part is we had a literal creep come in because he was caught dealing, who didn’t shower, was a devil worshiper, and was a literal pedo (17 dating 12) and he got 2 of the girls in a few months. What the hell.

[@LifesTeaLeaves]

Been there, lived that have a closet full of outfits in every colour. From elementary to highschool All I can say is that Parents stop bullying your kids, or giving them everything under the sun age appropriate or not. Parents stop yelling and calling your kids names. YOU CHOSE TO HAVE ....SO YOU HAVE TO RAISE THEM TO BE FUNCTIONING HUMAN BEING WITH EMPHASIS ON THE HUMAN BEINGS ❤❤ BOYS AND GIRLS, GET THIS ENERGY OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM ITS NOT CUTE. AND AS ADULTS ITS DISGUSTING ❤ REMEMBER HURT PEOPLE CHOOSE TO HURT PEOPLE❤ (clarify kids may not know, 15/16 and up YOU BE KNOWING BETTER ENOUGH TO BE A RESPECTABLE HUMAN BEING ❤

[@tradslnd9872]

Thank you for exposing this !

[@princesssecillie1721]

Male or female bullies are just insecure and unhappy with their life.

[@elisadelaurenti2516]

I'm Old School. There's only ONE way to deal with bullies once they become physical. Otherwise, ignore them, live your life and rise above them with self esteem and confidence.

[@inkompetenzkompensationsko4188]

Yep. And individually they're all super lovely and supportive and stuff but in a group they terrotize the entire building and no one really knows what the actual origin of this dynamic is

[@maltedmilkball2985]

ah, i remember this. it doesn't really work when they try it on people that don't think friends of proximity exist. good ol' adolescent neurodivergent win there lol. Did make me second guess some relationships anyway

[@mgroliveira]

This sounds like narcisistic bullying behaviour towards a 'friend' - which which not only woman but also men may also participante in.

[@Maderlololohio]

Makes me think neurotypicals/sensors r the 'narcissistic' ones (imo smth else is going on as they exclude and ostracise the neurodivergents) and the neurodivergents/intuitives are the victims.

[@Min-Taro]

Turns out mean girls was a real thing😭

[@digitalhuman5943]

I still don’t know what I did that made my female bully want to bully me. I was trying to make friends, I struck up a conversation with her, complemented her hair and reassured her how pretty she was, because it seemed like she felt vulnerable, and it was from that moment forward she told every girl we knew in common to stay away from me, that I’m weird and dirty and not to talk to me. And for a year, I didn’t know she was the one spreading the rumors, I was still trying to be her friend and just thought she was weird and had a hard time making friends to.

[@Danceswithfishes]

I was bullied in school, so badly, the simple mention of going to school triggered panic attacks.

[@S4NiYa3108]

When I was a kid, I had these two girls who harassed me. They often played mind games with me. They'd do this 'you're our friend; you're not our friend' thing every day

[@trimbulous_8507]

Had an ex who stalked me to the point I had to threaten legal consequences and she cried like bawled and some of our mutual friends took her side even after I told them everything they said I needed to be the bigger person flash forward to senior year she has a group of friends that do nothing but gossip about us and how our relationship was come to find out it’s just hella lies and all they would do in the classroom was giggle at me and I had no idea why until a guy who was sitting around them told me it sucks

[@krissywizzle]

After convincing my husband to watch Mean Girls with me (he now loves it lol) he was absolutely shocked when I told him some of the relatable Mean Girl horror stories of my own. I had the one where 1 of my "friends" called me and tried to get me to talk smack about our other friend, who was, of course, coincidentally listening on the other line 😑 The time sophomore year when a friend "just happened" to blurt out in front of our friend group, guys included, that I wore a waterbra (anyone remember those from VS in the 2000s lol). That wasn't embarrassing at all... 😳 Or the worst one at 13 at a new school, straight out of a typical HS movie, where a pair of popular girls told me their friend liked me but was too shy, so they convinced me to go say hi to him and ask him to hang out. I literally wanted to crawl in a hole and die, I still cringe when I remember his face. At least he felt bad, but they thought it was Hilarious 😅😫 That scene where Regina George compliments to her face, then trashes a girls skirt when she leaves... it's like they rolled up all girl bullying behavior in one perfect moment 🤯

[@crazycatbutler9506]

I was never bullied by girls as a child. Nor did I bully or continue on in cliques that bullied others. For the first 10 years of my relationship with my current husband, his mother, sister and sister-in-law did this constant bullying to me. I have been dealing with PMDD ever since. I get severely depressed every 2 weeks for 2 weeks.

[@petlove2092]

For me there was direct agression and i was very aware i was being bullied, dont feel invalidated guys everyones experiences are different ❤

[@paran01d11]

This might just be me. I'm also questioning myself a lot on whether I've been gaslit by this person and then every single time it's just the same thing with this, sometimes subtle, sometimes dense, voice that constantly enables her behavior and supports her ALL the time

[@kyralindsey5885]

I know a bunch of people who say they were victims of bullying all their lives, the thing is, these same people are the ones who will interrupt you over and over and over again with the same stories. Or they'll jump into a conversation that was between 2 people, not the room, again typically with the same stories over and over again. Sometimes, people have had enough of being treated poorly by someone. I have coworkers that do this all the time. Its maddening. Just because it feels like bullying doesn't mean it is.

[@Sergio_Loureiro]

As a man , I had already had this type of bullying coming from... other men.

[@valentinab164]

The bully doesn’t want to face the consequences but oftentimes it’s a group dynamic fired up by the bully. The rest of the group doesn’t care about the victim as much as the bully cares, she’s making it a big deal. And that’s how you fight the bully, by getting closer to her friends and making them choose if they want to actively reject you

[@MarySanchez-qk3hp]

What the hell do you mean that we “blame ourselves?” I knew what was going on was unfair! I never blamed myself, and I was bullied by the popular girls throughout my childhood. They were only nice to me when they wanted me to let them see my test answers in clas, or to copy my book reports. I even went to school early in the snow, to tutor kids who fell behind. But back then they called bullying “teasing,” and we were told to ignore it, or toughen up. I remember one time I had a preteen birthday party and some of the girls turned down the invitation, and the ones who said yes didn’t show up and didn’t cancel. I’d had a cake, decorations, rock music, an autograph hound…. I’m in my senior years now, it still hurts, and I still don’t celebrate my birthdays or tell anyone when it is. I don’t even want a memorial when I die because I don’t think anyone would come. Bullying changes you for life, with or without therapy. Was also abused at home, so I really had no soft place to fall anywhere at all. I still live alone, socially isolated, and never was in love. I just don’t want to leave myself open to any more rejection. My life is satisfying in other ways, and that’s not just “sour grapes.” Don’t need that kind of interaction any more. Just a quiet life, do my volunteer work, do my hobbies, read books. And I’d be happier if you were a woman instead of a guy who thinks he understands how it feels to be bullied by other girls, by the way.

[@angieblake3424]

I feel like this but from my own dad where he makes it clear he doesn't want me at gatherings or make me feel that others in the group don't want me there. Now I struggle with self esteem and feel like I am unlikable, something is wrong with me, and that no one really likes me. 😢

[@privateprivate8366]

A form of gaslighting.

[@SuspiriaX]

Denial and frame control. Gaslighting specifically intends to break someone's psyche so that they become easier to control. It can be a part of the bullying but sometimes I wonder whether it's used by necessity (that is: to control in the spur of the moment) or truly as a goal on its own (to make someone controllable indefinitely). If life long C-PTSD is not a goal on its own, then it may not be the type of gaslighting from the movie "Gaslight" where the word originated from. Because the manipulator in that movie does it not impulsively but rather as a well-thought-out long-term strategy.

[@privateprivate8366]

@ understood and yes, not like from the movie. I guess I see it from the perspective of that whole “changing one’s reality”, whether it be long or short term. I’d even venture to say that, sometimes, those that might be part of that group bullying, aren’t aware it’s a dynamic or goal, even if they’re fully-participatory. I guess it’s much like trying to determine how a narcissist is aware of their actions. Some say, they may be aware of what they’re doing, but not why, dependent upon the awareness of themselves. In this type of scenario, they may only know that they want to be “in” rather than on the outside looking in. A sort of flying monkey to enabler position.

[@Moeller750]

Seriously, girl group dynamics are the most complicated social structures mankind has ever made. Thank God most women outgrow the toxic dynamics, and those who don't get easier to spot with age

[@Krista-388]

Oh I sure do notice. And I have enough intellect and awareness of it to make it soooooo painful to experience. I struggle to call it out and then I never have anything to say back 😬😣

[@DominickDecocko]

In high school, a group of girls organized a vote to exclude me from the advanced English class, a prestigious course reserved for top scorers. They spread so many false rumors about me that even the school officials believed them. At the time, I didn’t realize this was bullying; as a male, I thought bullying had to involve physical aggression. This experience left me paralyzed for years, making me extremely anxious around females and hesitant to pursue high ambitions. Even now, in the workplace, I become deeply nervous and feel physically ill (psychosomatically) whenever I sense jealousy from others.

[@SheBytes2]

I remember feeling this way 😢 Thankfully, i grew past it---yet it certainly was scary and painful. I dreaded going to middle school.

[@SamuelSamuel-zx9mu]

Diffusion of responsibility is the foundation and key-element of state-induced injustice, by the saying of the perpetrator: "im just following orders, nothing personal".

[@SigMaQuint]

Your last sentence was revealing !

[@aikonene]

I had faced this in my middle school to my high school still I changed my school and ended up with severe social anxiety