How You Can Face the Unexpected

[@theshunnedBandersnatch]

That first caller...poor woman. I know how violating it is to realize that someone you thought you could trust has shared photos of you without your consent. I hope she is able to heal 💙

[@SongofBeauty]

The first callers husband committed a crime. He used pictures in a sexual nature without her consent. She could file for criminal charges if she chose to. I would never return to a man like that.

[@games4music]

He was, he is and he will continue to be this person that you just discover. Time for you to take care of yourself away from this sick "person"

[@gigilafleur1686]

Second caller, as the middle child of 5, I cannot begin to tell you how critical the little things that are just for your other child to connect to you alone are. So small, the walks, make up dumb little songs, have a secret handshake, the notebook idea is awesome, none of it takes more than ten minutes, and all of it lets her know you are HERE, we love YOU, we see YOU, and you MATTER.

[@wonder12374]

I love how John just assumes everyone has close friend circles we can share everything with like he does lol 😂

[@mnsohseven]

Yeah, especially since she said she moved out of state right before she found out.

[@samanthap.879]

Glad I’m not the only one who feels like that. It’s really hard out of state with little ones and work…feels impossible.

[@glitterstarbeau]

You gotta make your tribe

[@wonder12374]

@@glitterstarbeau Easier said than done for many people nowadays. Just saying

[@samanthap.879]

@@glitterstarbeau where do you start?

[@Tonyswoodshop]

Thank you, John, for switching the records in the back every day. I know exactly how far to move ahead to skip the ads.

[@cathyosullivan718]

It’s sad that some “friends” would be judgemental in the first situation. What the point of having friends like these?

[@sackettfamily4685]

My sister had an abusive husband and had an experience with such "friends" . She was taking refuge visiting with them, and they outed her to her husband. She never asked them for help again.

[@cathyosullivan718]

That’s horrible. I wouldn’t even treat an acquaintance like that.

[@kennypetrowski]

As a former friend of someone who turns out was living a double life (embezzling lots of money, affairs, criminal fraud, abusive treatment of other friends, & used me to run interference, all the while claiming the moral high ground of a pastor).. after initially supporting them for almost a year after things came out, we had to set a boundary because I didn’t trust that what he was saying was true. That boundary was met with the end of the friendship. These things are messy. Friends should be there.. but there’s a point where you say enough trust has been broken.

[@Maria-jo6nn]

Secrets makes you sicker 😞

[@daylestevens50]

I am not sure about telling a friend. I kinda feel like it is no one else’s business. That is a tough one for me.

[@kellyturner4571]

Rebecca…you need to run. You’ll heal, but you need to leave that marriage.

[@tristajeanette1990]

In the case of the first caller, i can’t relate 100% but I understand the feeling of being nervous about speaking up about the person you’re married to and worrying that the friends will tell you that you’re lying. I have that too in my marriage.

[@starlingswallow]

I have suspicions that her husband is lying about fighting with the health insurance to get marital counseling. PAH!! Fighting over what? Therapy is covered. I wonder if he is fibbing, I think she should do her own calling to find out and see if this is a another lie. Caller, I'm so sorry. 😢

[@peterlee584]

I think it depends on the policy. It may only be partially covered. I agree, it sounds like a weak excuse.

[@tristajeanette1990]

Most insurances won’t cover “couples” counseling, but will cover individual counseling. So get an appointment for one of you and then you BOTH go.

[@tinam761]

He’s NOT in any kind of counseling… so, he’s still lying and has no intention of getting therapy.

[@grandmasewhappyhomestead187]

When I had to walk through this years ago with my ex husband. What our counselor did was one week. It would be me he put it under me the next week. He would submit the bill under my husband at that way it spread out the sessions. Because our insurance allowed so much sessions per person before we started paying out of pocket. I feel for this lady I walked through that in some ways but I had to find healing in me all I can say is God is good.

[@whitneyw.7919]

Yes, that and also if youre marriage is falling apart... FK the insurance, you pay out of pocket. This guy is a creep, but the attachment is too great for the caller to see that she would be liberated by bowing out at this point.

[@TheEquiss]

My ex of 35 years cheated on me. Found out he had been cheating with multiple people while I worked. He retired 5 years before me. When I found out he blew over $40k on women and then men-I dumped him immediately. There was no going back. There was no bs counseling. They don’t stop. They just get sneakier. We divorced and he died ten months later. I know I made the right decision. I live alone now and don’t let it bother me. I made my decision because he had made his.

[@mskimrn9636]

I do not believe the first caller’s husband will change- sorry . All you are doing is prolonging the pain if you let him back in your life. Move on - don’t look back

[@starlingswallow]

2nd caller~ sit her down and talk to her~ the cool thing is, a healthy person will be soooo thankful that you brought it up, because she truly wants to be included and have friends. A toxic person will take HIGH offense that you bring it up. Then they will leave and you can let her. Don't apologize, don't run after. Toxic people who 1-up, part of their "power" is owning a room because _nobody_ is courageous enough to speak up about their hogging the spotlight, with no room for others. We will see what kind of person she is 😊 Thankful or Hateful. Healthy or toxic ❤

[@carloswithac]

I've learned so much architecture from this podcast!

[@sackettfamily4685]

1st caller, that's a lot to come back from! My sister did it, but I don't think i could. Highly recommend a spiritual retreat for women/men separately, called encounter ministries. Ashes to beauty for women. many testimonials are related to rebuilding marriages, with therapists, and a few needed divorces. When a spouse is abusive or unfaithful,part of the con, is lying to the public. So when true healing is happening, its absolutely Vital to take responsibility for reality. Otherwise the public will wrongfully put more blame and judgement on the victimized spouse. And while tempting, the wronged one needs to let the consequences of telling the public effect the repenting one. Because its a good test of his/her true intentions of repentance. Do they really want to change?

[@allil87]

Thank you J

[@filmgirlLisa]

That first woman is so heartbreaking. I don't know if I could stay married with all the love after that. I would assume for the rest of his and my life that he is doing it again. But I do disagree with telling people. At least the wrong people. Because as she's trying to figure out what she wants to do they will have their judgements not only of him but of her for not leaving him right away. They could possibly do what they can to convince her to go and if she doesn't that weight will weigh her down even more. Him, her, the therapist and maybe someone that loves her but is not judgmental that is not charging her per hour. That's it.

[@brendadowns5970]

That’s how the world works. My new motto.

[@whitneyw.7919]

Rebecca's husband is a creep and that doesn't change "overnight" and it also doesn't change because someone else found out and you're embarrased/concerned that they're mad and the implications of that may cause you to lose your support system.

[@Maria-jo6nn]

She protecting him because she is not sure this is really it happen to her to some of us that went through.

[@OlgaSuner-dx7fq]

I wouldn’t care much of measurements maybe he was trying to be an OBGYN or urologist 😄 but what stuns me when people allow to take pictures of themselves while they are in their underwear. I still can’t understand that part. I personally wouldn’t want or permit but I guess society has changed. This lady probably trusted too much and got her trust broken.

[@theshunnedBandersnatch]

That was her husband. Why would she assume he'd do something nefarious with the photos? She probably thought he was enjoying them himself.

[@OlgaSuner-dx7fq]

True husband but what about privacy ne violated not only the trust but her privacy. It doesn’t matter husband or whomever women need to not allow anyone to cross that line and being photographed. I don’t even get why would any husband want to photograph their wife? Or wise versa.

[@KendraSmith087]

It is her husband! I feel like no one she expect their husband to share those photos with other people, let alone creeps online trying to pimp her out.

[@michaelaweatherman7682]

​@@OlgaSuner-dx7fq she said she was wearing shorts and a tank top. 👀 Not lingerie or nude.

[@tberlin6718]

I totally disagree that the woman from the first call had to tell her friends about her husband. Why not to tell that to a therapist instead?

[@France149]

Illicit neglect better to get over yourself 😊🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@CoffeeSA96]

Terrible advice by dr john. She shouldn’t tell people her husbands secrets because even if they fix the marriage the people she told will never forget

[@emilyearl1858]

The creep doesn’t need protecting.

[@sackettfamily4685]

He needs to own up to his sh*t and face having his perfect image destroyed. And then rebuild trust with everyone. (We have a brother-in-law that threatened my sister's life and had affairs with 2 younger sisters. ) He fully deserved being exposed and now he's no longer the favorite. But he's rebuilding

[@daylestevens50]

I kinda agree. I don’t think she should protect him but it no one else’s business.

[@jeradkiester698]

The caller's own image will be ruined too, sure she'll get sympathy or whatever but she is going to ruin her husband's reputation to those close to you. She is mad that he had quiet kinks and while he shared her clothed photo of her, her reputation was always intact within "real life" Caller's husband needs to read 'No More Mr Nice Guy' by Dr. Robert Glover. He sounds like the quintessential "nice guy" (not a good thing)

[@SueSalzwedel]

He's not suggesting she tell EVERYONE, but that she have a trusted friend she can talk too.

[@tomnohmy1273]

Every KZbinr is promoting Thorn, how is that?

[@selah5792]

A company reaches out to popular channels

[@tomnohmy1273]

@@selah5792 cool. I didn't know that. Thx.

[@jeradkiester698]

There is absolutely zero gain from telling the first caller's circle of friends. Only additional, ongoing pain. John is so wrong about this because there is no longer any return to normal. The husband should have just had an affair, the damage would have been lesser than her telling the neighborhood.

[@heididoty4903]

Loved this episode! I hope the second call with the update will have its own clip, Id love love love to share that with several people!🤍🤍🤍