How Your Upbringing Shapes Your Personality

[@psych2gomandarin]

0:00 intro 0:36 Aces 1:47 family structure 3:13 social learning theory 4:20 the theory of mind 5:25 outro

[@feliciatran5667]

Thx for the times (or whatever it’s called) of the video!

[@nathanventry4693]

It would have been nice to have had this type of information available to me when I was younger, (in the 50s and 60s,U.S.)but unfortunately it wasn’t,but I hope all of you younger people out there appreciate just how important this type of information is and build on this knowledge,thanks for your support in these regard.❤

[@Lord_Submissive]

Yes thank you so much

[@CeaselessMotivation]

Well said👏👏

[@faithfulleader]

I was always locked indoors and my parents never took my mental health seriously. 😢The more I think about the traumatic experiences I witnessed kinda shaped my introverted and moody side.

[@shakurwonders5216]

I wish you happy healing, from a fellow child from a dysfunctional family

[@faithfulleader]

@@shakurwonders5216 it can be difficult yeah. Same to you.

[@faithfulleader]

@@mykolas8575 thanks☠️

[@23dayslater95]

Same man. As someone with adhd I was super hyper as a kid and loved talking to people. But unfortunately kids at my school never really liked me much and just picked on me although I did nothing wrong. Come middle school I branched off from alot of people due to social anxiety forming but I still tried to make an effort. Now in my senior year of highschool I don't talk to a single person who's not either my mother or one my teachers. Sucks people are the way they are 😔

[@mizlialia1476]

@@23dayslater95 Moody is my middle name 😆

[@lerneanlion]

I always felt comfortable in my own house, my own room in particular. My family has a bit of unrealistic expectations of wanting me to be able to do everything when I reached adulthood, especially after my dad died, because they wanted me to be able to take care of myself. I know they mean well but they were pushing me too hard. Also, most of the teachers at schools and the university attempted to mold me and my classmates to become them in the future as "good" members of the society and most of them have little to no care about bullying because they do not cared who started the fight, they will punished everyone. Not to mention the society's traditions are always being valued over the voices for reformation by the youngsters with the excuse of "the youths these days have no respects for the previous generation" or something like that. And I went through these when I was a kid and I still have to deal with some of them in nowadays! My room is one of the few places where I can escaped to by removing myself from all equations and go into isolation, away from everyone! Away from the nasty and rotten society that refused to change by sacrificing their children for their own sake!

[@livywithane]

Idk why older people say that. YOUR’RE the ones who are supposed to be teaching us the things, but all you’re doing is complaining about how awful we are. It’s ya’lls fault.💁🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

[@sill.yb0nes]

@@livywithane Literally, my dad yells at and sometimes even hits me for talking back and “always having the last word” when he does the same thing to me, like where do you think I learned it from

[@balsamon69]

​@@sill.yb0nes Physical abuse? That's just awful. I can't say I understand what you're going through, or how does it feel, since it didn't happen to me, but i genuinely hope you're okay

[@sill.yb0nes]

@@balsamon69 I’m alright, could be wayyy worse, thank you for your concern though

[@DamianoftheRyans]

Yeahhh, "society" is trash. Fo' me, I'm like: "Stay away from me, you superficial, shallow, programmed and soulless drones." 🤣

[@man_5i]

I think I grew in an unstable household and yes it has a long term effect on my mind, but it's always better than yesterday, yes it's getting fine, everything is possible with help and support, and I'm here for it ^^ sending you people lots of good energy!!

[@Hagunemnon]

"Did you make a lot of friends because you were outgoing and kind?" ...The fact that my initial, gut response to this is bitter laughter is kinda telling. Being nice is what got me ostracized, in school.

[@Krab062]

I feel you bro.

[@Finalizor]

that is just sad

[@margaretaldridge635]

All the traumatic events that has happened throughout my life in the last 28 years and a few months has severely affected my trust and confidence but in the last 8 years I've found some true friends and reconnected with family that have helped a lot but it's still hard 🥰

[@RainyBlue7]

I grew up in a disruptive household, my parents would always yell at each other, and hit each other. Later on my parents separated, and I ended up living with Mom for most of my teenage years. She was never around, she never taught me anything. I never really understood why I would run away from home, smoke cigs, and drink beer. I just thought it was me finally getting to do something fun, but I can see it now, it was me coping. My mental health isn't all that great either. I'm a recovering alcoholic. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, I tend to yell when I get upset, and I've always been scared in general. All I can remember is the bad, and it's like my mind is constantly reminding me of my misfortune. I cry whenever somebody is nice to me, because I feel like I don't deserve it. All of my romantic relationships have ended because I can't control my emotions. I wish I had a good childhood because after watching this video I truly believe my upbringing made me who I am today. A totally defeated human being...

[@beagrothus7916]

You tried talking about it to someone in the past ?

[@xE92vD]

I wasn't outgoing very much as a elementary schooler, I had only 2 true friends at school, I did interact with others but those 2 were the best for me. In middle school, I became even more introverted, absolutely hated teamwork and was the "quiet" kid of the class. I didn't have any real friends in middle school. I had a crush on a girl I liked since first grade but ended up really never confessing. I always were getting good grades, friendship didn't really harm me. In fact, I think it was better since I was able to concentrate on my stuff better. I was able to confirm this when a kid that got good grades, suddenly started getting mediocre or bad grades; his friends were always occupying him, making him not be able to concentrate on his studies. I sometimes do feel lonely, and introversion definitely made me mature much earlier than other kids, but it's also the trait that made the me today.

[@NanyaFinance]

I was always forced to stay indoor by my mom. No one was allowed to come visit me During college I started finding it difficult to communicate with people without panicking and stuttering . Done with college now and I've drastically improved in my communication skills . Still hate my mom for isolating me like some kind of lab rat for over 16 years

[@madison_leah_clarke]

I can relate because I’m homeschooled

[@tgordon8136]

Same! I had to really work on my communication and social skills so that I could make friends. I literally didn't know how to be one whenever I started college.

[@bigagnixon]

Forgive her. She was learning. Trust me she didn’t know she has a negative impact on your life. Sending love

[@Sonicfalcon16]

I had a parent who screamed alot. But instead of screaming i just chose to not to talk worried if i opened my mouth he'd scream. Misunderstood as a learning disability but more as a fear response. This eventually was fixed when he left though a result of this hurt my ability to learn. After my parents had a 3rd kid with a different dad he started to share these screaming habits which hurt more since i was in a place that was peaceful and random screams make it very much not

[@sill.yb0nes]

My parents and step parents yelled a lot too. Now people yelling triggers me and I have panic attacks and flashbacks from it. I don’t understand why they can’t wait until the kids are at school, instead of at the dinner table crying at the screaming and noises of stuff breaking.

[@funnytv-1631]

Every life has positive and negative ingredients that make up one’s history. Take a moment to let gratitude move through you now. Every pain that has grown into wisdom. Everything you know now that you did not know before. Ask how much you like who you are and create kindness around your answer, no matter what it is. Know that you have power over who you want to be.

[@bastionsea2829]

This points out how different my upbringing was Mom was strict in thinking, Dad was very open Since I spent a lot of time around my mom, I became very introverted to escape I hope that when/if I join a family I can emulate my dad's style

[@kopanomabalane9688]

same situation

[@galaxy_mooncat779]

My childhood was sad my parents kept arguing now i don’t know what to think anymore

[@fangplays315]

Right here with you my friend! 💙

[@nicholasleipzig5448]

I know a friend who had a difficult time with his family. His parents always focused on his marks. They provided him with everything essential like food, rest,etc but never emotional support they used to sometimes emotionally abuse him.

[@neelamnilam4574]

Mine parents just ignore me when I have a toxic friend

[@sill.yb0nes]

Same, my perception of love and family is destroyed and I don’t believe in love anymore

[@nicholasleipzig5448]

​​@@TeriMaaKaBharosa he is currently living with his parents and studying for his finales. He is having problem to concentrate because of his past experience.

[@funnytv-1631]

Breathe in now, deeper than you might. Let the same air that fills those skies fill your lungs. Nature is always in conversation with itself, and you are always welcome. You are a part of all that occurs. You have a place in it. Every step you’re taking here to become the version of yourself you wish… they are all adding up. You can have your own “vie fabuleuse” - your own Fabulous life - where you connect with the beauty in every moment. Keep looking. Take that breath. You’ll find it.

[@RyanNerdyGamer]

In my case, it’s actually a reversion-of-sorts to an adult version of who I was as a child, when I was much truer in, of, and to myself, and personal limitations were inconceivable. Tl;dr: Stuff happened prior to my teens that led to a broken self-image and pulling tightly into my closet-like shell (among other things), while the past half-decade has been one of self-discovery, self-healing, and bustin’ outta that shell as the me I’m meant to be.

[@JNTBK28904]

I think the only thing thats changed for me is that i’m “calmer” when I was a child. I would have fights with my parents when I was younger and looking back my side of the arguments didn’t really make sense 😅. My parents are nice people it’s just that sometimes they misunderstand me and sometimes say things just to get under my skin. Being an introvert is a thing I didn’t realize I was until about a year ago , and I always hated how my teachers wanted us all to be extroverted and have lots of friends my parents felt the same way. Don’t get me wrong I love having friends just not a whole ton of them. I think what made me an introvert was not really talking to the other kids at a young age and just playing by myself and I got used to it.

[@livywithane]

My mom told me I’ve been the same since out if the womb; a happy, friendly, and outgoing person who can be a bit much at times and needs LOTS of physical touch. (Hugs, high fives, etc.) Yeah, that pretty much sums me up.😂🤪

[@lavenderiris9744]

aw man now I am jealous

[@fredrick-jr1qi]

My traumatic experiences were and are more physical but physical trauma can affect you mentally which is what happened to me but since I’ve started watching Psych2go my mental health has improved significantly. Thank you so much Psych2go for helping me realize that I’m not alone in my struggles

[@Yashuop]

Raise your hand if you've been watching Psych2Go for a long time🤚

[@rya2037]

🤚

[@Bhizzyi]

🤚

[@Goomba1309]

🖐️

[@dashie_luvrr]

✋

[@vel5785]

✋

[@julo_ghost]

I used to be very kind and emotionally outgoing with the other kids, but very quickly, I was misunderstood by other kids bc of my ADHD and autism. I had "weird" behaviours, I was rejected, and I didn't understand why. I was bullied during my entire primary and secondary school. 11 long years. Now, I am logical, introverted, and way colder towards other's emotions.

[@rachelthompson7487]

I felt like I had to keep quiet in my abusive and controlling upbringing and I still tend to now. Being so quiet and soft spoken is ruining my adult life and I've been trying to learn to be louder and say how I truly feel.

[@aimanashraf6100]

Same here

[@brillot2000]

My upbringing was surrounded by various parental abuses, physical, mental, peer bullying, financial discrimination, manipulation, abandonment, and being thrown into adulthood at an early age. Most of my life has been a struggle and suicide was on the table during certain events. I have been suffering with C-PTSD for over 40 years. 30 of those years it wasn’t apparent to me, it was normal for me to be the helpless victim. I still struggle with the anxiety of my condition in my professional career. It has been harmful to my career advancement. I have learned to live with my condition. Extreme stress has been causing me to have more anxiety attacks than usual.

[@purpleperruche5433]

I believe that my mother changed me a lot. I was a happy, optimistic, energetic, open, friendly and smart kid. In time I completely changed to the opposite. I was so happy back then. I lost a sense of who I am. Now I work into learning who I am again.

[@janecelee1713]

Where do I begin? I experienced several traumatic events as a child. My mom mostly raised me and my two siblings b/c dad was busy at work. Every now and then when she felt some strong negative emotions, she'd used her kids as a punching bag, hitting and screaming at us while bringing up the past (something she claimed we did and something she experienced before and after she got married). Dad wouldn't defend her against the verbal assaults of some of his siblings and/or their spouses. Occasionally, he'd call her degrading names. The same relatives who harshly and loudly point out our flaws (accused mom of being a failure as a parent and accused me and my siblings of not being successful adults). Neither of my parents would defend their children from such brutal verbal assaults when the three of us were younger. I thought this was just generational/cultural things but I'm beginning to think it's also a power thing as well. I am shy and reserved by nature but due to my childhood traumas, I became even more shy and reserved as well as somewhat wary of other people and their intentions (due to deceptive people I had the misfortune of meeting/knowing). I met some kind-hearted people, began to speak to a therapist (for personal issues relating to childhood traumas and disturbing upbringing) and I gradually became less shy and reserved. I am also determined to not be like my cruel relatives and my parents. I've got a lot of issues to work through and I'm thankful to have met kind-hearted, patient, intelligent, and wise people.

[@yellow.rainboots]

i really liked this video, it definitely gave me a new look at my upbringing! something else too is cultural difference as well, so we might see a difference for this reason as different groups have different ways of living

[@CeaselessMotivation]

Well said👏

[@amyli092]

As much as I appreciate my childhood being free of any traumatic events, my parents were strict with both me and my sister. They were never abusive, but because of how strongly they felt in their beliefs as Christians, they kind of pushed those beliefs onto me. I was never given the choice to be my own person growing up and to have my own beliefs and views. This isn't to say that I resent them for this now at 30 years old, but at age 19, I definitely remember feeling angry for reasons that I couldn't make sense of. If I hadn't gone to therapy, my emotions would probably still be in a state of being stunted in their growth. I've made mistakes, I've hurt some people along the way and I didn't have much awareness of some negative behaviors that manifested themselves because of my anger, like being emotionally manipulative and being a "control freak". I've learned a lot about myself in the last 10-12 years, especially when it comes to my emotions and how my mind works. Having ADD doesn't make these things easy by any means, and I still find myself feeling mentally stuck or lost sometimes, but just knowing how much I've grown helps me to stay focused on my goals and keep going in life ❤

[@oliviasonlinediary]

Thank you psych2go for these informative videos. I always come to your channel ❤

[@djcranejr.3045]

I was an "Emotionally" Only Child. My older sister is 5 years older than me, this is because my parents didn't want to deal with 2 babies and switch attention and not have to divide attention. This made that me and my sister only played the most popular of the most popular of video games together. These are Minecraft, LittleBigPlanet 2 and Rayman Legends and literally every interest I had was the opposite of my sister's. That's why nowadays, I have no opinion over my sister, she's just a person that's part of my life.

[@martynbrown2261]

Thanks

[@Psych2go]

Thanks for your donation, Martyn. Your extra support means a lot to us! If you ever have any topic in mind, feel free to let us know!

[@KnightsofGaming2016]

I'd say I have a good enough childhood with caring and loving parents, but I'm not sure why I'm becoming more antisocial and kind of moody nowadays? Like I do interact with people and all, but now I just feel meh about socialising and don't make any new friends in college and would rather interact with my older friends from high school and primary school? Also, thanks for this video. As someone who wants to be a dad in the future, this is going to be helpful to me in the future

[@JohnAranita]

I learned from my brothers being physically and emotionally to each other. I have been living away from family for decades and I raised myself to be a great personality.

[@veronica1320]

I remember the first year of school i had in my entire life, we didn't do work, we just played or learn how to socialise, but there was this kid who didnt let me play with others and if i didnt play with him, he would be really violent (they threatened me that if I didn't play with him, he would pinch me, hit me or even throw big pieces of asphalt at me), and i knew he was capable of doing it bc i've seen him do that before (even seven years later, in sixth grade, we had a violent fight bc he couldnt control his emotions) so even though i really wanned to meet all the new people of my class and the other class, Icouldnt. With the time he became kind of ( just kind of)a better person and let me made new friends, but i was too used to be with the same person that became a lil bit more introverted. 9 years later, lot of stuff happened, like the pandemic and all, I am now availble seeing my notes online, and apparently also can see my notes of that time, the only thing they evalueted you was communication and socialisation, AND I HAD 70% THATS NOT FEAR AAAAAASAAHHHH ok jk i'm kind of dissapointed for the teachers choosing that note but anyways, that damn kid made me who I am, but my parents teach me some ways to afront that kid.. like fighting him if he hit me again..? I never did it, but I made lot of boundaries for myself, I trust others a lil bit less, but still very open to the posiblity that they can be kind, I have some difficulty to talk to new people, but still love meetting others (the people is really interessing in my opinion) and bc of him I became WAY less sensitive, I controle a lot my emotions and learned to not show my fear in front of people, afront them with confidence (and then cry when I'm no one is around if I need lol, but it doesnt happen a lot), so I guess i have to say thanks to him ? well i never did, if I accidentely hurted him or hurted himself, i would say "it's karma, and it's not enough" and he looked at me just like saying "I don't blame you". So now that I am in high school since two years and we arent in the same school anymore, I try to change my personality as I want without him around anymore, its hard but I try, :p, and honestly he didnt let me any trauma despite all the bad things he did ( as verbal and physical ) ps: if you read all this, well thank you :DD ( srry if you don't understand what i wrote, inglish is not my first language and i wrote this super fast )

[@nanayeboah358]

There's no lie in this post Every single thing the post pointed out is true and on point especially the ace and family structure Thank you very much Psych2go and keep up with the good work to help millions and billions of people who are going stressful upbringing making them grow to become mean and callous individuals ❤️👍

[@CatkinsonGD]

Fascinating video. I think I'll mostly be using this as a resource for writing realistic fiction, but it's also interesting to see how it applies to myself.

[@wonby4241]

I truly have no clue what happened in my childhood?? I used to be so open and outgoing and friendly but now I’m just stressed 100% of the time and filled with anxiety 🗿

[@darkphoenix7342]

I recently realised that I have a hard time getting along with people who are not like me. I'm introverted and sensitive to rejection and for some reason when I see a person who's extroverted and seemingly arrogant for example I tend to assume that they are going to judge me because I'm the complete opposite of them. I had many bad experiences with people like that in the past and now I have a lot of stereotypes in my head about people and I often find myself assuming that other's don't like me even when I have no evidence of that. I recently learned that this is because of rejection sensitivity. I mean when I tend to always see the signs of other people hating me, when actually they may not.

[@vappuluoma2918]

My parents were divorced since the start - and that was not the problem. The problem is my mom, who insults me and screams at me. I will never forgive her. She has health issues, but that doesn't matter. When i was younger, my parents didn't really buy be clothes, so my confidence was low. I just have one friend. These past years i have started to take my own wellbeing in my own hands. I still have problems, but i'm hopeful💜 You will survive

[@spookynojutsu]

My first memory I was hiding in a futon. Now I have a laundry list of health problems including a pacemaker and two unaliving attempts 😢 I feel like my entire personality is informed by trauma and interpersonal relationships feel impossible to maintain.

[@roberthutchison2749]

I've been going through this since I was 12 years old..I'll be 65 close to the end of the year 💔 😪 it still continues to this day 💔..it never ends

[@ontheline3421]

I'm in a state of conflict with my ldr man now :< I though he yelled at me and got scared, he thought I threw a reasonless temper tantrum with my reaction. And my coping mechanism to deal with arguments it to sit and talk out everything. His - to vanish until calmed down. I hate it whenever we argue.

[@lesliedaflowie1706]

yeaaah.. i had a really bad childhood with an extremely selfish mom. she did many things, made very poor decisions that almost killed me and my brother, and worst of all she physically hurt me for her own wants. it was something on my body that she didn't like, and as i was in fear crying and screaming, telling them to stop, she still held me down. all because SHE wanted this. and when it was finally over, i was left alone in the room crying on my bed in so much pain, and after crying for so long, she came back into the room to tell me to just get over it. its my biggest ptsd trauma that i will never forget and i relive that memory every single day. im angry at my family now because of constantly making selfish choices all my life. im only now starting to realize it deeper. its literally in every little thing man... it sucks because i really do see some parts of who i am now, being a bit like them. im very much reserved, i don't like being around people, or being emotionally vulnerable at my lows- i don't like letting my guard down, and i feel like im in this constant state of being annoyed. it makes sense though, because my entire life has been filled with all types of abuse, not only physically but verbally as well. how could i ever want to be me around someone who's a negative memory? and because of being introverted, and preferring to be alone- i never had much friends outside of school. it was always my family who i spoke to, and i just feel like after all these years, idk who i am. online i seem nice, respectful and such, but with my family its like "nope get away from me". i just don't know if I'm faking it or whats genuinely me. I'm now an adult unfortunately LOL and i hate it. i feel like because of my childhood trauma, i never truly grew up. my brain still feels in the mental years of a young teenager. side note tho! i met a new friend back in december, and they're very family oriented. seeing people who are- to me is like "ew".. but its nothing personal- i just cant imagine that personally. i ask them about their family and what its like, and its just so otherworldly to me... but that friend interests me a lot, they've been super kind to me, supportive, and willing to share their family with me since mine is so bad HAHA.. its.. nice? 👉🏻👈🏻

[@pablow5918]

At least you have a good support system

[@pandora.z]

I just wanna thank you so much for so many things💙

[@AiLikeChickenNuggets]

Ok, So u don't have to read but I need to vent. So I have really amazing parents, they did not spoil me too much, but enough so I grow up loved. BUT here's the thing, my father and my mom argue. My dad took control over her, and one of my memories is of when I was 4 (I'm 13 now) and they were yelling at each other and I tried to make them stop. My mom was abused by her mom too (both emotional and physical), and I know the details since I was 7-9. So did my paternal grandma (abuse; emotionally). When they would argue, my dad would give both me and her silent treatment for 2-3 days (still now, I spend a lot of my days being scared of the silent treatment) Now, during covid, I witnessed my mom's depression. I kept my thoughts to myself. Over time, she told me how she wasn't allowed to do certain things and was beaten for some, but I was allowed to (when I was 10-12, aka covid years). That made me feel like my problems were less. My mom gave up her job to take care of me, give me affection and love, so when she told me that her mother indirectly made a jab at her and her father cause they don't work, I feel like a burden and a big problem, plus self-esteem problems.Now, in an effort to not be one and don't disappoint anyone , I take marks too seriously even when I am like a prodigy at Music and Arts. Often I do self harm (nails) that don't bleed but are enough to hurt for a solid 30 seconds. I am recently taking counselling, but at night when I am alone (I spend the whole day in my room but I am occupied so these thoughts don't come) I get these thoughts again. So, If you made it this far, **am I wrong to feel this way, when I know I'm loved soo much that my mom gave up her job and her, including others both in this comment section and the world have suffered worse**?

[@sams_enfp]

You should never be ashamed of your feelings. They are valid, and your father and both of your grandmothers really affected you emotionally. You rock!

[@AiLikeChickenNuggets]

@@sams_enfp awww ty! Its going a LOT better for me now, but my maternal side of the family, grandparents and uncle, cut contact with us, right after both of my parents, especially my mother, spent 2 MONTHS trying to make them comfortable.This only solidifies my belief that the best people have the worst luck

[@sams_enfp]

@@AiLikeChickenNuggets I'm glad things are going better for you! Honestly, it was for the better that your maternal side cut contact because they seem very ungrateful. If they continued to grate on your and your mother's mental, it would be much worse. I hope things continue to be better for you!

[@ORProductionss]

Back then, I was super extroverted, and now I’m not…

[@pusheenfever]

i was heavily sheltered but not because my mom cares about me or something like that but because nobody ever wanted to deal with me everyone gave up on me so easily so i didnt have many friends i wasnt treated the same and i was locked away and forgotten about i can count the amount of friends i have had on one hand im not sure what im like as a person or if im even a person at all

[@Libbylou77krtc]

Yes, my mother slept all the time because, of her depression disorders, my dad was always at work and I was the oldest of four daughters and I felt I had an adult role instead of getting to be a kid.

[@Nedmar]

Well my family was extremely dysfunctional, but fortunately I did not end up being like my conceited and emotionally dead father, for I took him as a role model for everything I should NOT be, so that now I am much more capable of socializing than when I was a kid. It is a very simple strategy, really: just do and think the opposite of what a dysfunctional parent does and thinks. It is a kind of passive rebellion.

[@beagrothus7916]

Cool that you realized it so early

[@Nedmar]

@@beagrothus7916 Yeah, I even went on to undergo a very strict diet so as not to be as fat as he was. I was hell-bent on differing from him in every possible aspect.

[@JadenHybrid]

This video hits home, thank you, great channel.😀

[@britneybij3997]

Me as a kid: sticky small goblin that was too extroverted for her own good Me as an adult: stylish goblin that it still too extroverted for her own good

[@squidleystudios277]

If my parents taught me anything, they taught me how NOT to imitate and be like them, because I hated the way they made me feel and I didn't want other people to feel that way around me

[@CountrysideCutie]

Number 3...I was raised in a very dysfunctional household & NEVER became my parents, especially my mother, of their mistreatment. I grew up the OPPOSITE of how she treated me.

[@visevlr]

These videos make me a better person ❤

[@David-yq4rz]

Naw. What happens if you’ve got DID? It’s so random. I be happy, than all of a sudden im the most sullen person in existence.

[@meetaksharamishra3088]

This is all i need to hear.🌱

[@TheSaneHatter]

I'm clearly QUITE the mixed bag, based on this list of influences. I've had ACES aplenty, most often from school and from dealing with other kids, but also a few from wthin the family and from authorities of all kinds. My family was VERY stable while I was growing up, in the form of a classic nuclear family, but everything around me was in constant motion due to frequent moving. Social learning from kids was nearly ipossible under those conditions, and my parents modelled two very different examples.

[@A55a551n]

Timestamps 1). ACEs 0:35 2). Family structure 1:47 3). Social learning theory 3:13 4). The theory of mind 4:20 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

[@Nessy14337]

Well, guess there's a lot to unpack here, but let me just say that I pretty much wasn't so lucky with my childhood (I know there's a lot of people who suffered more, don't tell me that.). At first, I think I had a lot of ACEs. I was quite a crybaby, and my grandmother have been yelling, and even hitting me sometimes, cause she didn't like it when someone around her cried. She always kept telling me that I have no right to be sad, cause there's a lot of people who suffered more. Also my mom is very hysterical and a bit controlling. So I basically needed to force myself to stay at my room (and I still wasn't REALLY safe cause my mom have been living there too) and not make ANY sound, or I could get in trouble. Second is family structure. And well, I pretty much can say that I had no father. He's alive, but my parents divorced when I was 3 and since then he basically never called me and seemed to not care at all. It had consequences cause me and mom were always broke and I basically never knew if tomorrow we're gonna be moving away or we could stay where we are now. And also I had a lot of mental struggles since childhood cause I felt like there were something wrong with me, and that's why father weren't there with me. Social learning theory was hard cause I never had any close friends. Mostly cause I'm very shy and weird and basically afraid of people, and because I had to change school all the time, so I was "a new girl" for my whole school life. I only found actual friends when I were in college. And of course, it was always a bit hard to communicate with people, let alone understanding them, since as I said i didn't have close friends when I was a kid. Yeah. Sorry if you suffered the same or more than me and right now think that I'm being dramatic. I just felt the need to talk it out a bit

[@Lisa-nt7wt]

I am the opposite of people I grew up around. Thank God.

[@an_impasse]

I love the little cat Psi 🐈 carries around in this video 📹

[@TheRoamingStoic]

My family generally has very little patience with people. As for me, I am more patient than a Buddhist monk. I like to think all the patience went to me to fill the “patience void” in my family dynamics

[@CeaselessMotivation]

Great👏👏

[@eshi31]

I've been emotionally abused and neglected as a child :( Working through it right now

[@CeaselessMotivation]

👏👏

[@HandleInModeration]

I see my emotions as I am locking them in But the truth is The door was open until I was wounded mentally

[@angrybirdsbigfan2393]

Wow hat is very good. This will help me a lot with my future. Thanks!

[@MooshyRoom1]

I don't know why but recently iv just been hating myself. I go out and feel like I wear a mask and act totally fine and then I go home and cry my eyes out. I haven't told anyone about this, not even friends or family because my mother doesn't really understand mental health and brushes it off. I'm fairly new to this channel so if anyone has any advice or knows a video with some advice that would be highly appreciated Also, I know this has nothing to do with this video but I thought I'd have a better chance of it being seen if I put this comment on a recent video

[@CeaselessMotivation]

Never give up, keep going, Best wishes👏

[@Yeetus8740]

Ehh my parents dont spend much time with me but the time they do is meaningful and fun

[@shtambordaf4424]

Welp am asking for a litle advice on my mental state: I dont feel any empathy with anyone because if you think a bit about it, we'r only a bunch of chemical reaction, and an human life dont have that much value I think that the only meaning of life is being happy, because it's what motivate every human behaviour, and i wont hesitate to do anything to be happy, even a bit more, and i just feel lonely, because no one realized this. I don't care about anything but getting happier. And welp i am also on the 1% of the highest IQ with 155.

[@indridcold8433]

I had no upbringing. Though I had perfect parents, I was in and out of hospitals a lot. Nurses and medical doctors brought me up. Thus, I am detached from the masses. My parents diike this. However, it is the way I know. I grew up with no friends, no peers, being part of no group. Thus, I require none. It has actually benefitted me tremendously not to require approval of the herd and to require no company.

[@luuuscarlet]

Wait... a second, my ADHD was triggered by the issue of family structure?(im sure before that , remember myself as young child, im sure i was Ace, but after my parents divorce, im sure i turn ADHD, both things i remember the 1st been Ace and then ADHD but this one was unatended one, bad for me i noticed of this as an adult now). The sad thing, for my parents i exist but they never cared about me (just when i do something wrong and let them see as a shit, sorry for the word), also my mother confirmed me, her mother never cared of her, so she didnt cared of me too as a "copy" of her mother(jesus, i really hope, never do this to my chiild if some day ... i have a child...). And also i learned much watching all the people i got near, when i was a child, my friends parents, the person who taked care of me while my mom was out, im a damn remix of everything with a plus of ADHD... jesus im an ufo XD hahaha sorry i got to say that....

[@Smiley-king-one]

THANKS 😊

[@edwardlovera5867]

Cool Thanks for everything 😊

[@rudydev4046]

I was a happy and funny child until i became 6 then tragedy happend (i got severe allergy) then i couldn't go outside for longer than 10 minutes otherwise my face was swollen and i was at risk of asthma (i got it once it wasn't fun) so now I'm quiet and shy

[@erviatangerine5108]

Hi Psych2go! I really like your job. Can you please make a video about people who can't experience romantic love? I'm 24, and I've never EVER fall in love or had a crush on someone. And it hurts me a bit, a feel like I'm robbed of something important. But I simply can't feel it. What's wrong with me?

[@aquaghost5547]

Maybe you are aromantic, there are a por of people out there who don’t fiel romantic atracción and is totally normal

[@korneliuscorny]

My teacher just told me that I talk alot in the second grade after that I stopped talking very much and introverted.

[@WiFi-qj5kr]

i wasnt medicated til i was 16 so i feel like i didnt get a "real" personality/get a chance for one to properly develop until then

[@ryantaylor841]

I hated my childhood I was the 1 that had to care for my older n younger siblings also if I didn't do something right I'd get grounded sometimes grounded n beaten until I bled was not a good time then my dad put me into care n fled to never be seen again but I never liked him anyway so it's shaped me into a caring n loving person cuz I don't want people going thru wat I've gone thr however I like being left alone most of the time I don't have friends cuz can't rlly trust people either am a pet person

[@AlienTheITALIEN]

So here's my childhood life story. my first 4 years of life I can't really remember what was up but my family was low on money as mom remembers, we've been living in Georgia (country) and in 2008 (I was 4 y.o.) we've lost our home and had to move to Turkey where my parents would work 10 years as musicians. I've finished the 1st grade in turkey but I was missing Georgia so my parents took me there to get education, and long story short in because my parents were working in turkey and I was in georgia I've ended up being in one absolutely unfamiliar household (family), had been with several different babysitters for years and chamged 20+ schools because we didn't have a stable place for me to live in georgia (we've had rent). Every Summer I would go to the hotel my parents were working in and I think my big issue with school and the hotel was that both in georgia and the hotel I've never had a stable friend circle, in hotel any friend circle was lasting for 2 weeks because they were going back home and in school too because as I mentioned changed 20+ school (i remember once being in a school for 6 days and had to change because mom always was very protective of the environment I was in even though I've never had any complaints) and even though every friend circle/person I was socialising with was disposable it at least was socialising but that alm changed whenn the pandemic started. Due to tge fact that there was no money for rent in georgia we ended up stuck for 2 years in Turkey becaise of the pandemic and financial problems. My parents couldn't work cuz duh no one needs musicians during pandemics and in turkey making an underage work is illegal. Besides absolute financial devastation I lowkey haven't spoken to teens of my age for 2 years straight. Those 2 years were the most meaningless time of my life cuz my everyday routine was only internet and a 2 hour walk (without walk I would loose my sanity lmao) Right now 18 y.o. everything is a little better, I'm in georgia with a decent social circle (even though everyone calls me a weirdo).I wrote all of this because all the videos here when talking about childhood and stuff none of the scenarios looked/sounded remotely similar to my childhood story so I write this comment out of curiosity to see what will others say about it

[@_sykick]

I get that no one cares but… One thousandth like babyyy let’s goo

[@Yohann_Rechter_De-Farge]

May you please help for fear of black magic or like that.

[@crow3370]

I had a very bad childhood it definitely have to do with the way I see things let alone the way I am bozz was my only friend

[@brittanynorrod7734]

1:47 3:13 4:20 Story of my life

[@Cooking...866]

Can you please talk about factious disorder 🙏

[@annakoutsandreou2214]

From a kind introverted to an angry,hateful teenager. Atleast im supposedly really smart

[@ozefox]

Does this also apply to adolescents?

[@jimo8486]

yep

[@Dfd_Free_Speech]

The truth, which is never mentioned in the video, is that your upbringing (shared environment) has only little influence on our personality. Less than 10% of our individual personality can be explained by upbringing / shared environment, much more influence have our genes (about 50%) and non shared environment of which a big portion just seems to be randomness.

[@derekbacharach]

If you believe this, you are in denial

[@Dfd_Free_Speech]

@@derekbacharach That's not only what I believe but this is what pretty much all high quality scientific studies show.

[@derekbacharach]

@@Dfd_Free_SpeechPlease provide links to these "high quality" scientific studies

[@Dfd_Free_Speech]

​@@derekbacharach Unfortunately my replies don't show up. Seems Psych2Go have some strict filtering rules in place which make it impossible to quote studies or post links to them. I suspect they want nothing to endanger their leftist view of only presenting those study results that fit their woke agenda.

[@TIOLIOfficial]

Why was this unlisted?

[@Mmerlinkoffiwxl43v3r]

2 MONTHS AGO??!!!?

[@desiirwin35]

@@Mmerlinkoffiwxl43v3r literally?!?!?

[@felipovisk972]

im trying my best to be kind and patience

[@yliagaming816]

Hy, dear can I get some tips to reduce ovethinking about our loved ones.I know that she won't cheat but the other personality of mine keeps me reminding of my past relationships where i was played and cheated......

[@ems.master]

There's a book called "Heal Your Wounds and Find Your True Self: Finally A Book That Explains Why It's So Hard Being Yourself" by Lise Bourbeau. Finally something that makes us understand ourselves AND ALSO explains how to improve our lives. I hope this helps.

[@Nates_anime_artwork_yt76]

About friends what if I didn't have any friends until my late childhood around 16 to 18. Can I also be beneficial. Even just as beneficial. Thanks for the helpful video by the way. Your videos have helped me so much💖

[@ironicockxssleep64290]

Psych2Go's goal is to help those who are mentally unstable/ill and I can tell they really do help all of us

[@namethestars]

A childhood mired by abuse in the forms of neglect, physical and sexual so not the best environment; how I'm any shade of normal now is a surprise to even me.

[@Liam-jp5lt]

I genuinely don't know how I ended up the way I am. The environment I grew up in wasn't the best, split between two houses, one was an abusive mother, the other, was a father trying his best. Maybe I have the friends I've had throughout the places I've lived to thank for being the way I am, or maybe my brain was just naturally wired this way. I have no way of knowing for sure, but one thing I do know, is that I'm happy with who I am and wouldn't change a thing about myself, even if I had the opportunity to.

[@ives3572]

"Remember that your character is the sum total of your habits." - Rick Warren

[@gladnessadesina6474]

I can't remember who I was when I was a child.... Don't know if I had lots of friends or shy I whatever...

[@aiya5777]

I barely recall even my high school days lol

[@revixhero1466]

Thaaaaank youuuuuu

[@PMT433]

My mom once told me that my dad strangled her. They are still together and I have to deal with a horrible relationship

[@Pault3788]

I was put into school when I was 4,it was frightening for me, the teacher told my mother that it was too much for me ,but mom thought I would get used to it,which I didn't ,when I was 7,my teacher would take me into the coat closet after class and abuse me,I never told anyone because I was taught to listen to adults.every day though I would kick and scream thatI didn't want to go to school which led to terrible beatings with a belt.I would come home from school and crawl into the dogs house and hug him and tell him how much I liked him being my friend because he was my only friend. When I turned 13 I was accidentally shot which led to many months in the hospital, I missed so much school that they just passed me even though I wasn't passing the classes.life has been terrible,no relationships,no girlfriends,a failure for sure, 60 something years old,and full of regret

[@lpadilla8914]

So sorry to hear about some of the difficult times as a child, may God hold you and comfort you. Take care :)

[@Pault3788]

@@lpadilla8914 hopefully I will see him soon

[@lpadilla8914]

@@Pault3788 Wishing you nothing but the best and brighter days ahead, Drew! Be blessed🙏

[@CeaselessMotivation]

Nice👏👏