Why is the SILENT TREATMENT so Hurtful? Silent Treatment and Abuse

[@kimsmith7212]

My boyfriend uses the silent treatment. This past time. I just decided that I wasn't going to put up with being emotionally abused by someone who claims to love me. So I told him that I picked a date and if his silent treatment was still going on, I was leaving forever. The cycle has to be broken. I can't change him. I told him how hurtful it is. And that it's sad that he can't communicate with me instead. I refuse to let someone ABUSE me. No relationship is worth abuse.

[@zjewelswatchingjems8723]

I envy your strength, my self esteems been wiped out due to my bfs behavior as such

[@elsaaforges]

My parents gave me the silent treatment for three years (while living under the same roof) because I was dating the wrong man. I was 25. It was literally hell. My mother’s tone of voice when he talked to my father spouted hatred towards me. It’s been 20 years and I have somewhat buried that horrific experience, but I don’t think I ever be able to forgive them.

[@RipTide23100]

When I remember my father's episodes of the silent treatment with me, I can feel alone and helpless all over again, like I'm not even worthy of being looked at. Even as an adult I'm scared of that rejection happening again.Thank you for this video, it helps so much as I try to understand this fear 💜

[@HubfortheHeart]

The silent treatment can be devastating for a child: It's utter disregard shown by a parent, someone they perceive as having unquestioned "authority." When the child is left all alone with overwhelming feelings, in turn, this myriad of feelings can easily morph into self blame/shame. And shame is one of the most toxic symptoms of trauma! Shame often operates "stealth/under the radar" and, when left unexamined, can continue throughout adulthood Your comment of "not even worth of being looked at" is heartbreaking, RipTide. It wasn't your fault. I'm glad you're healing and I'm glad this video is helpful. Massive respect and support to you, Karuna

[@dotdashdotdash]

I have been getting silent treatment from coworkers. It’s abusive and they know what they are doing as it’s accompanied with passive aggressive comments and smirking.

[@HubfortheHeart]

I'm sorry to hear you are dealing with this. We need trauma-informed workplaces, trauma-informed supervisors. It's time for HR staff and departments to be well educated and informed. I hope there is a HR specialist at work with whom you can speak.

[@faizacheema3623]

I am 36 years old I married an already married man with 4 kids I was unmarried and I am educationally a qualified person English literature education is my field.i am an aesthetic beautician also.I am experiencing silent and indifferent treatment by my stepchildren……I severally try to make an amicable and healthy communication with them….especially the eldest girl is more venomous….idk why….I cook food for them cleaning mopping laundry everything….and even before marriage I made very clear and transparent conversation about every sensitive and important aspect of such kind of marriage with my husband….he said my children are and will be super friendly and welcoming they really want someone as a mom in the house 🏠 I left my native home town and even I went against the will of my family my mom😢😢and I married this man with such toxic mindset of children for me…they don’t communicate with me and never create a family like atmosphere with me always treating me like not as a guest even as a stranger….I feel I am a kind of housemaid for them whom they don’t want to see or talk even….it’s really hurtful.

[@axelshawAk]

This really helped me. I feel alot better.

[@missred2401]

I have cptsd from abuse from narcissists and they do this and prolong the agony 😢

[@mmorgan7918]

I appreciate the insight from your video and how you tie it to an original wound and to look at our feelings. When I consider my "original wound" it wasn't so much that the silent treatment was employed against me as a maneuver, SILENCE ITSELF was employed against me as a way of life. I've often felt not heard, not seen, not listened to from childhood until now. Now, when a toxic person uses the silent treatment to gain power over me, I have resorted to begging and pleading. I can't stand this in any way, shape or form. I hope to use your solution and dig in to how my life was one big silent treatment and how to overcome that. Thank you.

[@MissSarahGM]

I have been trying like you say, to see from the bigger perspective, but today it is hard. It is no longer silent treatment but complete cutting the chord my mother has done to me. We spent the lockdowns together and she started to see me negatively as if I was intruding. After that, I went back to my little place in the city, she cut me off during 6 months. We reconciled but I was still traumatised for how she treated me. And now again, it has been a year, she won't respond to messages where I ask about her and I want to get back my stuff at her place. No response even when I texted I have health issues. I have done nothing to her to deserve that. I am in my 40s and isolated from CPTSD. She has shown signs of BPD and it could be she's developing mental issues and paranoid traits. It saddens me to be rejected, abandoned as if I am worthless. Now I would like to write her I need to get back some of my stuff, I am afraid of more rejection. And that is how life is going to be now.

[@evermic81]

I must be immune to this so-called abuse. My coworkers are giving me the silent treatment right now. It made me stay more focused on my purpose, and makes me more grateful for the peace I have at home. Silent treatment also shows their insecurities to the world. People who do the silent treatment are so threatened by you, they allowed you to live rent free in their minds, which means you own their power. If they want to give you their feelings, that's their problem. Besides, if you are a primary introvert, then that tactic does not work anyway. I don't think of the silent treatment as abuse, but stupidity.

[@candywilliams3533]

Thank you so much Karuna. 💗💟

[@FourThousandMilesTogether]

My stepdad came into our home and spoke to me maybe a handful of times in 13 years. I thought it was my fault but totally normal behaviour. It BROKE me, the anxiety that I though had no cause was crippling. Hello CPTSD! I will heal and be brave enough to belong one day ❤️

[@HubfortheHeart]

Thank you for this visceral and honest sharing. Wow......spoke with you only a handful of times in those years. Age of a person, as a parent or grandparent, has so little to do with wisdom. I'm so glad you've uncovered the cause now (it wasn't your fault!) and you are healing now. Your post is inspiration for others who can relate. Thank you for viewing. x Karuna

[@mercedesvallar3384]

My step mom uses the silent treatment on me. Everyone in my family knows this and does nothing. I'm suffering alone

[@FourThousandMilesTogether]

@@mercedesvallar3384 I hear you and there's 100's of us in that boat with you. Please know it's 0 to do with you and everything to do with her emotional immaturity and narcissism. Foster as much internal empathy as possible, read every book, watch every video you can and don't listen to your brain when you slip in to questioning if you're the problem. You're going to make it and meet so many loving, kind people who will also think she's insane!

[@helenalovelock1030]

@@mercedesvallar3384my daughters step mum did this to her. She only told me recently now grown up as she was worried I would bring it up with her Dad and make things worse 😢😢😢

[@CrystalNouveauC]

Thank you for this! Which is the other video you mention of people who can't express emotions?

[@mikesmith6594]

Often recieve silent treatment 😢thanks for the upload on this topic !

[@peacelovehappiinesss]

My adoptive parents never had anything nice to say so I'd rather them be quiet than mean

[@jamesatem6046]

If you have nothing good to say, don't say anything. Better to be quite than say unnecessary things.

[@guidofeliz8384]

What you are about to read is not in my head nor is it a movie. It's a new reality for me at the job. There's something strange going on at the site in reference to me as an employee. Beyond the shadow of doubt, I know that someone has been going around defaming my good name and character in the building. As you know, this act is against the law. This is called defamation of character. Am I right? Why do I say this? Many of the people who have been friendly to me for more than two years have suddenly stopped communicating, especially when I am posted in the lobby. This new attitude towards me started about 5 weeks ago. I firmly believe that many of the employees from various departments are trying to make me feel unwanted hoping that I would leave the site. I spoke to several of my coworkers about what is happening to me. They told me to simply ignore the silent treatment, do my job and go home. Of course, this is easier said than done. There is a group effort to make me feel unwanted and uncomfortable. If I did something wrong or offended anyone, I would like to know exactly what I did that would compel a group of employees who have been saying hello to me for more than two years to suddenly stop all communications. By the way, this is only happening to me and not my coworkers. The silent treatment is only directed to me when posted in the lobby. I don't know who started the rumor, why the rumor was started and what exactly was spread about me. The rumor has ruined my good name and character not only in the lobby but on different floors and into several departments. If one or two employees decided that they no longer wanted to talk to me, I would not bother to post my story here. However, the number of people who continue to give me the silent treatment grows on a daily basis. Everyday, without exaggeration, a new employee is added to the DON'T TALK TO ME list, if you know what I mean. It is hard to work and be ignored. I make a decent salary and so walking away from the job is not a good idea. Questions: 1. What is the best way to handle the silent treatment at the job? 2. What would you do in my situation? 3. What is the main reason for giving an employee the silent treatment? Thank you.

[@aNnAkt1qw]

Sorry you are going through this.... i had a similar situation last November. I left the job i was at.... having had time away i now realise that they didnt like me shining my light and standing in my own power, i called them out on there nasty arrogant behaviour. They all ganged up on me but i took all the lessons i learnt and became so much stronger for it.

[@guidofeliz8384]

@@aNnAkt1qw : I have been at a new site for over month. A lesson well-learned. Coworkers are not friends. I will take this lesson with me everywhere I go moving forward. You did the right thing leaving that toxic environment. Let's face the truth. People are mean. If you don't join the click coworkers start to dislike you in every which way. Be well. Be safe.

[@Thysta]

Sounds more like smear campaign.

[@peacelovehappiinesss]

I've been receiving the silent treatment from my adoptive parents for over ten years now😂❤❤❤

[@cynthiakleist9513]

It hurts but DON'T GIVE IN TO IT. My mom used to do this ALL THE TIME. I learned how to deal with it. Give it right back. I did it with my mom and I feel better. IF anyone does this to you, you will feel bad wondering what you did wrong, YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. If this person can't tell you, they are not worth spending any effort on them. Let it go, move on. Find people who will accept you. I did. With friends, a lot of it is gossip. These people ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. You were just someone to do something with when they had nothing better to do. Forget them. If people can't come to you in person and talk with you about what is upsetting them, LET THEM GO. They aren't worth it. Believe me.

[@annajaworska3627]

I love what you wrote:" You were just someone to do something with when they had nothing better to do." 💜

[@helenalovelock1030]

I can’t imagine giving my children the silent treatment

[@patrickbennett439]

Its good to act like you dont notice the silent treatment. Try offering them gum as you are passing them by. Just toss the gum at them, its a natural human reflex to just catch it. This will force them to interact with you as you are already walking away and not really noticing anythings wrong. lol.

[@runningwithscissors1564]

I have such a deep hatred for this evil man.