Hurricane Bound For Texas Slowed By Large Land Mass To South

Texas residents are relieved that the deadly Category 5 storm just missed them, destroying a horn-shaped land mass beneath them instead.

[@Flyborg]

"American Airlines introdocues $15 'not plummetting to a fiery death" charge" lol

[@matthew8153]

Flyborg I wonder if if they’ve copyrighted that or if Malaysian Airlines can also use it.

[@kxmode]

They replace your oxygen mask with a chloroform mask.

[@imperatormaximus8952]

Honestly, wouldn’t be surprised.

[@sasdagreat8052]

Waiting for the day this becomes poorly aged, unless it's already happened

[@zurirobinson2749]

@@sasdagreat8052 It's American Airlines, that joke aged poorly before it was even born

[@fantasmicsix]

Haha, I love The Onion. "Money intended for disaster relief to be used for parade."

[@oscarnemo8084]

Topical.

[@omar90s91]

Wow a 12 year old comment

[@fantasmicsix]

@@omar90s91 Wow a reply to my 12 year old comment

[@crazywindows88]

@@fantasmicsix woah a 12 year old comment replied replied by the OP of the 12 year old comment

[@youtubeistyrannical1787]

@@fantasmicsix wow, I'm glad you're still alive.. 12 years is a long time, wasn't there a movie called "12 years a rave" or something like that

[@sparkyjones560]

"NASA constructs space fence to protect jobs humans have not yet conceived of." Comedy gold!

[@walterbell7193]

Sparky Jones I hear it’s gonna upgrade to a wall on the next update

[@theweakestbrazilianmale3398]

Are the Martians gonna pay for it?

[@carteradams43]

wait... this was 2008?

[@sparkyjones560]

@@carteradams43 yeah. 2008. Before "build the wall" was trendy. Lol. The more onion you watch the more you realize they were just thinking of the most absurd thing possible and in a way also predicting the future.

[@thenamesjohny1490]

@@sparkyjones560 sorry for commenting on a year old post but the U.S has had a fence for many years and so has just about every nation of some sort at some period of time. Kinda not a prediction.

[@cribbles3476]

0:49 that hurricane model looks terrifying. Thank God it's only hitting that giant build up of dirt. Hope the little crabs will be alright. 🦀😢❤

[@biponacci]

I say we ban crabs

[@idot3331]

@@biponacci CRABS ARE PEOPLE, CLAMS ARE PEOPLE, LEGIT OR QUIT!

[@literallyanidiot2880]

@@idot3331 Crabs are food, not friends -Marylander

[@An_excellent_YouTube_account]

Pure Competizione I denounce you.

[@Ake-TL]

Pure Competizione was crab tile OP or they just randomly chose crabs ?

[@NeoRipshaft]

Wait... isn't Canada down there?!

[@NitroCandyNC]

No i think its just spain

[@zoe7526]

No I thought it was Australia

[@interitus7703]

Could've sworn that was Italy

[@ridhosamudro2199]

No, that's the other down

[@TechnologicallyTechnical]

Guys, if it's underneath us, then it's clearly Australia. Didn't take much to put 2 and 2 together, this is simple stuff.

[@nathan122009]

"Little hut thing" xD Jesus.

[@randomgameplay5465]

Gorman_Fr33man what is the little hut thing?

[@n00blingking83]

Gorman, well done. Your mom has saved Texas

[@akzebraminer]

N00Blingking huh?

[@n00blingking83]

AKzebraMiner because Texas was saved by a large land mass

[@akzebraminer]

N00Blingking Hard to understand and not funny.

[@my3dviews]

I live in Canada. Fortunately we have a huge land mass to the south of us that protects us from almost all hurricanes. :-)

[@rexmundi3108]

And that build up of dirt east of Toronto.

[@Zomana9]

What's a Canada? Is the land thingy up north?

[@tcg1_qc]

@@rexmundi3108 You mean west of Toronto and east of Vancouver

[@tcg1_qc]

@@Zomana9 No, Canada isn't real. There is nothing up north, so don't go there. There is no superweapons being built there and obviously Canada will not take over the world because it doesn't exist.

[@donaldtrumplover2254]

What is a Canada? Oh wait you mean that communist hell hole where my lord and savior Jordan b Peterson is from?

[@williamcarter7647]

I think The Onion was making fun of an actually news report that was done during the days of hurricane Katrina. They where talking about all the states that it hit. Texas, Louisiana and Alabama where all talked about thoroughly. Yet when Mississippi came up it was always referred to as the “land mass between AL and LA”. WTF

[@Itchyboy_]

William Carter the state i live in is very forgettable so i dont blame them

[@keemstarkreamstar7069]

10,000 Subs by 2020 Lmao imagine living in Mississippi

[@pepp7073]

William Carter this was made in 2008 and hurricane Katrina was 2016, libtard.

[@tylerlovett6242]

Pepp707 trolly trolly trolly poly

[@tylerlovett6242]

And by the way, it was a Canadian news network that made that mistake, and they simply just said that LA and Alabama shared a border, never even mentioning Mississippi as a land mass

[@uss_04]

I miss the Onion in its Prime.

[@nutmeg9005]

All good things come to an end eventually

[@mariguana7918]

@@nutmeg9005 What exactly happened

[@nutmeg9005]

Mariguana idk i just know they fell off

[@mariguana7918]

@@nutmeg9005 Yeah they did. Their movie reviews are particularly awful

[@chnb517]

@@mariguana7918 You dont talk shit about Peter K. Rosenthal and his beatiful reviews

[@ElveeKaye]

"Determinist insurance company insists all conditions are preexisting." "Hundreds of workers laid off after Post Cereal Company closes three Grape Nuts quarries."

[@nikkilee3840]

They aren't wrong.

[@MCTogs]

This is the oldest KZbin comment I've ever seen

[@thisisaloadofbarnacles921]

@@MCTogs Go down three comments

[@Hotshot2k4]

Determinism jokes are almost always funny, and they always have been.

[@ElveeKaye]

@@Hotshot2k4 This comment is so old, I don't even remember writing it! O_o

[@ryanfranz6715]

That was pretty much a dead-on representation of the Houston weather channels, and also just the general attitude of Texas. When Laura hit, the headlines were all “whoosh! that was too close for comfort! Tonight Houstonians enjoy a dry breezy evening, perfect for a night out on the town or stargazing at the beach!”. Absolutely no mention of Lake Charles LA before or after. Didn’t know it was bad until I drove through months later and saw the total destruction myself. There were metal light posts laying in the street… can’t be easy to blow those down.

[@DannySullivanMusic]

yeah lol

[@FlamingAirplane]

This one hit a little to close to home

[@joshs3775]

We're just as bad in FL. "thank god for Puerto Rico" as it's getting decimated

[@informationoverload2487]

@@joshs3775we’re all like that with Peurto Rico. I have this hurricane game where you get to complete a bunch of tasks as a hurricane and I always get messed up passing over Puerto Rico. Hardly get any kills there and it decreases the hurricanes power before it hits Florida.

[@Holygiant]

@@informationoverload2487 lol what game is this? sounds like Pandemic but for hurricanes and that's kinda genius

[@themusicfactory99]

This is comedic genius.

[@htf5555]

even the marine life is considered more valuable. lmao

[@duck5304]

htf5555 wait there are inhabitants on that hook thing??

[@daniel.franco]

More valuable than what? The hook-shaped piece of land? Other than that, I have no ideas.

[@galonite]

Daniel Franco I bet I can build a nice vacation home on that hook.

[@plutoreturns9630]

Not even the marine life itself just the food it gives us

[@janus3555]

@@duck5304 not really. At least nothing important.

[@ilynnad]

I hope those groupers and soft shell crabs are alright.

[@Giganfan2k1]

They will be with a side of butter.

[@RGG800]

I know it's a bit late but they're alright! We just finished reconstructing the entire country after the hurricane destroyed it 13 years ago btw

[@bjd020695]

"Supreme court makes landmark ruling on second commandment!" I love the Onion. They nail it again!

[@writwits5826]

Even more relevant 13 years later… damn

[@user-ov7ci8tp8v]

The onion is the only news source I trust.

[@vyor8837]

​@@writwits5826 ... How? No idolatry doesn't seem relevant to any of their rulings.

[@corsojames]

​@@writwits5826 commandment, like the bible thing, not ammendment

[@bentpen2805]

Even more relevent etc etc

[@rtheundying]

"Hundreds of workers laid off after Post Cereal Company closes three Grape-Nut quarries." Haha!

[@TheGuardDuck]

Lolol!!!

[@wahidtrynaheghugh260]

Grape nuts are awesome

[@dmd8552]

@@wahidtrynaheghugh260 we don't have grape nuts here in Canada, but we do have grape nut ice cream. It was only last year when I learned it was a cereal and not actual grape seeds.

[@lisagulick4144]

The cereal that is neither grape nor nut...and would actually serve better as non-lethal shotgun-shell filler than as a food.

[@shawnsg]

@@lisagulick4144 this.

[@Teekoness]

I actually saw a documentary on mega tsunamis where it showed one hitting North America. The narration went on and on about the US states that got hit while completely ignoring that the Canadian maritime provinces and Mexico would be wiped out.

[@wizzotizzo]

@Ricky Smith i cant tell if you're joking or not

[@bhojjadamotabanda]

Why SHOUDLN'T they ignore Canada or Mexico? Did you look at all the documentation and communication regarding the making of that documentary, who were the target audience, what was the budget, how much extra would that cost to "not ignore" Canada and Mexico, and would that extra cost be recovered, based on the analyses of that time (the documentary was made)?

[@Ajvt-ux4ec]

@@bhojjadamotabanda why tf would it cost extra lmao

[@godlymoose9118]

@@Ajvt-ux4ec It costs money to do research, as well as procure the recordings of the event or animate the events. Dealing with just the US is less expensive than all of North America, and as it was likely an American documentary, it would make sense to focus on the effects it has on America. You hardly hear any mention of the US in documentaries about Napoleon

[@shawnsg]

@Ricky Smith if a tsunami wiped out the entire state of Texas that would be about the equivalent of hitting just the Greater Mexico City area.

[@psycdalex]

That big build up of dirt

[@welcometohell3002]

oh thank god, i was worried people might get hurt. good thing there are no humans down there.

[@jenupdf]

@Stale Bagelz the fact that you cant tell worries me

[@guy6826]

Stale Bagelz What the hell are you talking about he’s obviously not joking, how stupid do you have to be to think that people live under Texas 🙄

[@scottthewaterwarrior]

@Stale Bagelz Poe's Law strikes again!

[@nateinsane4023]

@Stale Bagelz Why do you watch the onion if you can't appreciate the humor?

[@Gr3ypsTFT]

Good thing there is no one in that giant city on the landmass.

[@NavrasPV]

I live in Texas and that video is sooo true. If a hurricane dodges us and hits Mexico everyones like "Whew, oh well. Close one"

[@AlphiumProductions]

You watch an Onion video twice: Once normally, the second time reading all of the bottom text

[@HaxxorElite]

this

[@RichoRosai]

Or, you keep telling yourself you're going to do it one day, and then suddenly you're an old man in the autumn of life and you realize it's never going to happen.

[@jadondavid8272]

Just did this lmao

[@SchizoidPersonoid]

Mississippi got this treatment during hurricane Katrina. The news actually said that it was going to hit "somewhere between Alabama and Louisiana," and then all of the coverage was about Louisiana even though Mississippi was hit by the most destructive part of the hurricane.

[@justrandomthings319]

Lmfao. Seriously?

[@darksparkyshark430]

@@justrandomthings319 nah not seriously. I evacuated TO Mississippi from Louisiana.

[@brianwesley28]

"...or the Astro Stadium getting ripped apart instead of that little hut thing that we see." Shaking my head and giggling at the same time. Gotta love The Onion.

[@CodaMission]

You have a sick sense of humor, you know that, KZbin Recommendation Algorithm?

[@CaveyMoth]

It's funny how after 11 years, I can perfectly remember the "Hook shaped area" quote.

[@nagualdesign]

Rewatching tends to jog the memory.

[@humancyborgrelations3737]

This is disturbingly accurate to how CNN, Fox News, et cetera treated Dorian.

[@Rootiga]

who is dorian?

[@jelly.212]

@@Rootiga yo mom

[@phlubblebubble]

@@Rootiga The worst storm to ever hit the Bahamas.

[@maurof_a6582]

Mexico-USA relations in a nutshell

[@youtubehasbigcringe]

Meyaka Brown cringe

[@ajgerbi]

Meyaka Brown / The World was peaceful and perfect before Trump came along. 😡 Nobody hated eachother it had any problems, then the CEO of racism appeared and suddenly everything got worse.

[@maurof_a6582]

I mean pretty much all of the USA presidents were completely assholes, all of the world know this but muricans just don't get it

[@dane3135]

this is why we dont mention politics

[@FecalMatador]

*Bad Word* America was shit before Trump and is shit with him and will be shit after.

[@DaNsEb1337]

"its in south america" "you mean texas?"

[@tobylangdale95]

Really got the American mainstream mass media pegged.

[@itssanti]

This is no joke: I once watched a discovery documentary about I don't know what animal, and the presenter said and I quote verbatim: " It also inhabits south of Texas "

[@What-thaW]

0:11 THE ENTIRE INDIAN SUBCONTINENT IS MISSING

[@E4439Qv5]

You can actually see it for a fraction of a second, but only the western coast.

[@iironhide6209]

E4439qv5 no it’s completely missing

[@iironhide6209]

12 years and still some Easter eggs awesome

[@Questionable_Content]

@@E4439Qv5 thats SE Asia bro

[@E4439Qv5]

@@Questionable_Content Ah, I see. It _does_ look like the Malayan Peninsula, now that I'm looking at it. No Sumatra though...

[@chairmanofrussia]

What makes this extra hilarious is that the cities they showed were just a photoshop and pasting of the same city over and over again, so that it looks densely populated xD If you go to the actual maps, look up Ciudad Madero. There's nothing there but one city xD

[@gregdaweson4657]

@@olgierdvoneverec4135 Lol bricks of cocaine

[@eliwhite5548]

@@olgierdvoneverec4135 idk where you heard this, but it's false. Plenty of houses in Mexico are built using stick framing. In fact the government is currently promoting the use of stick framing because it is so much cheaper these days. Historically, wood was expensive in Mexico, so masonry was cheaper. That translated into a cultural belief that a wooden house would fall apart very quickly, so the majority of Mexican houses are built from masonry, but stick framing is definitely not outlawed in the entire country.

[@olgierdvoneverec4135]

@@eliwhite5548 I live in Mexico. I didn't fact check the law so you might be right, but houses are mostly cinderblock in where I live. Edit: just checked, there is no law that requires you to build with masonry, so you win this one... Still have never seen anything other than a cabin built with wood. Even in the poorest zones houses are always brick.

[@eliwhite5548]

@@olgierdvoneverec4135 Like I said, masonry is most common and was cheaper at one time. From what I read, yall believe that wood houses fall apart very easily and don't last, but you'd probably be able to attest to that better than I. That sentiment is not totally correct. It's true that under perfect conditions and maintenance, brick houses can last over twice as long as stick frame houses, but if the area experiences earthquakes, cheap bricks are used, or maintenance liked replacing mortar isn't done, then brick houses can last as little as 50 years. Brick houses are also more prone to gathering mold because the surface is permeable. In general, building a stick frame house every 3-5 generations is much cheaper than a brick house every 3-10. Flood and tornado damage can usually be offset fairly cheaply with insurance.

[@jacorp7476]

"Deterministic insurace companies have determined all conditions are pre-existing" xD

[@robloxvids2233]

I live in Houston and some girl I know here on FB posted, unironically, last year that she really hoped a hurricane heading toward us would turn toward New Orleans lol. Almost posted this vid.

[@mho...]

first concentric rings eminating from a dot & now a pointy spinning dot?! cant humanity be left alone by these strange things?! where do they all come from?

[@RyanTosh]

You usually know they're coming when you're attacked by a giant blue letter L and everyone around you is hiding behind a glowing red H

[@needsmorsleep]

well, I'm glad you shared that with all of us here today, It's really nice to finally hear someone whos got his priorities straight; 1st delcious crab THEN human life. I wish you a million happy moments

[@IDBTitanosaurus]

If you've ever been to Corpus Cristi or Brownsville, even El Paso, you'll notice that the news reports really do ignore anything that happens in Mexico.

[@nicholasm7822]

I grew up in El Paso and the newspaper every day had a whole section with news from Mexico. It was also a regular part of the local tv news.

[@huntera123]

Better quality of reporting than the rest of legacy media combined!

[@MarEXksz]

Did anybody else catch that final joke about the big hat? Omg that's rich XD

[@ryanespinoza7297]

So this was in my recommended feed and I was trying to make sense of the title and thumbnail for 2 minutes before seeing who uploaded it

[@landon7775]

r/atetheonion

[@Jacob-yg7lz]

@@landon7775 Thanks for the gold, kind stranger! upvoted and saved! I'm so glad I sorted through new for this!

[@despro_]

Did you hear him saying a “great wall or something,” he was warning us of what to come

[@StainsStainsStains]

I like how the hurricane seemed to deliberately skip the Yucatan state where Cancun and the other tourist towns Americans frequent are and collides right into a location that is mostly local areas.

[@mglover145]

OMG this is too much of a coincidence. The Weather Channel just called Mississippi "a landmass between LA and AL and the hurricane is Hurricane Issac.

[@Jules.69]

wonder why i got this recommended

[@xxtranZerxx]

Thank you my amigo haha!... i am mexican and we encounter a lot of racism and prejudice, honestly most of the people giving out the slander and insults against our race have never even been here or actually know our culture... i have been to the US and I find it a nice place with people that respect us just as we would to you... so please stop insulting people you barely even know where all human !...

[@CodyRushDriving]

Ironically in 2012, hurricane Isaac smashed into that little boot-shaped thing to the east, once again letting Texas dodge a bullet.

[@lepidoptery]

switched it up this time by sending the storm in the winter instead!

[@alex_d_t2146]

The algorithms dark humor strikes again…

[@Rootiga]

Just as relevant today as ever before

[@tobetrayafriend]

The actors The Onion was able to procure really were excellent

[@blystyryng]

"through this funny-looking part with all those cities" I love how this one picks up on combining the real reaction to such developments; they're so funny, but worth watching for an incisive look at a pretty universal unconscious reaction in the general public. hooray for laughing at ourselves

[@c-puff]

American News talking about the smoke caused by all of Canada being on fire.

[@andrewhofmann5453]

As a Texan, im thankful for that landmass..... I might have had a tree branch blown down or something....

[@tardersauce3578]

This is a miracle. God truly is good. Thank goodness our Americans will be fine.

[@Electric_Bagpipes]

Honestly surprised they didn’t call Florida a sandbar.

[@Jonathanh1986]

As a American I want to personally thank that large land mass below us!

[@davidanderson9072]

"Imagine it was the Astro Stadium getting ripped apart, rather than this little hut we can see."

[@jacobmartin8332]

I love the Onion.

[@Lordecai]

No u

[@baconatorenthusiast]

@@Lordecai ???

[@mikegordey2163]

As a Texan I’m thankful for that...place... down there

[@sorryrooster2120]

That large land mass is a hero…

[@happysmash27]

I was just recommended this. This is one of the few videos I have seen from the 2000s, ironically found when I was looking for videos from the 2020s!

[@MayTheSchwartzBeWithYou]

The Onion always hits the proverbial nail right on the proverbial head. I'm so sick of all this centralized news that sensationalizes local disasters and ignores the tragedies going on in the rest of the world!

[@MeepChangeling]

So how's it going for you now that they never shut the hell up about some random event and keep people in perpetual terror so they can get more views?

[@thepawnmusic]

@@MeepChangeling you can practically hear the monkey's paw curl on that one...

[@trentvlak]

I live in Oklahoma. Fortunately there's a large land mass to my south that absorbs all devastating hurricanes.

[@TheAppitite]

NNNOOOOOOO!!! Not the groupers and crabs! WHY LORD WHY!!!

[@lepxlish6755]

omg this is gold. i love when he complained about them missing out on some seafood because of this lmao

[@HermaeusM]

That’s so true. “ this cat 5 hurricane is heading right for Florida however the islands in the Caribbean will help slow it down and make it a cat 2 when it arrives so there will be less damage. Like what?? And Puerto Rico is treated like a separate country when it’s literally a territory of the US 😢

[@legitbeans9078]

Puerto Rico is part of the US? Since when? I thought they were cool.

[@A_Senitent_Ford_F150]

​@@legitbeans9078 no offense, but what rock have you been living under? Puerto Rico has been a US territory since 1898, after the Spanish-American War. That's 125 years!

[@rizizum]

@@A_Senitent_Ford_F150 Not everyone has been up to date with recent news dude, have some respect

[@L00NGB00W]

This just in.... Jesus breaks the first commandment. More at 11:00.

[@jkid1134]

My air conditioning went out for a week, and I considered the rain that blew in some cooler weather a blessing. Turns out it was Hurricane Ian. Thanks for taking another one on the chin, South Eastern US. We should just get Cuba to block em all, honestly.

[@OceanAce]

So basically, Hurricane Harvey but in a parallel universe.

[@justfrankjustdank2538]

love being recommended onion vids ive never seen before :)

[@panxer8172]

rip to all those Chinese hut things.

[@jibbdaorange3831]

A storm hitting the land down under, poor australians

[@delusionalnoodles]

oh no

[@yoursleepparalysisdemon1828]

i thought they were talking about the one below florida. but that's nice

[@Buggy793]

Oh, I love TheOnion! They always tell us the truly important issues and the blessings!

[@p0tazzium]

The Onion has some really subtle, brilliant humor.. very unique compared to most of the things today. I love it.

[@colechapman3382]

Thank goodness no real people were harmed in this hurricane

[@superskyron19]

This just happened hurricane Ian ripped through the Caribbean but nobody listened until lit hit Florida

[@ilikerice4175]

'merica

[@Redrocket120]

The media of each country reported on it respective to their country

[@SG003]

Don't live in America but can relate, most of the storm bound for my state change course and goes to neighbouring country

[@daviddechamplain5718]

I miss these.

[@Shoguhn]

@Ylviste Your right, but this one can be seen both ways.

[@kithoongadrianhanjwss]

fun fact: the hook shaped place is called 'Mexico'

[@HarvestStudios_38]

Is it really? I didn't know that weird patch of dirt had a name, does anyone live there?

[@kithoongadrianhanjwss]

@@HarvestStudios_38 yes. Apparently

[@HarvestStudios_38]

@@kithoongadrianhanjwss woah

[@Noyjeetut]

Nice one. Another strong showing... gotta love that land mass taking all these hits for us.

[@richardbantin9900]

The closest you can get to pure comedy perfection

[@DannySullivanMusic]

for sure

[@SmallTeaCupNo1]

this is the news i watch every morning

[@timopper5488]

The lower land mass is really taking one for the team! ¡Larga vida a la masa de tierra inferior!

[@Heliosphan15]

@illisanantexico the humour of it is on par with the actual video. i salute you good sir!

[@Skateandcreate9]

or if that were the Astro Stadium getting ripped apart instead of that little hut thing we see hahaha

[@supermoneyball420]

skate and create 8 years later I think Astro Stadium getting ripped apart might not be so unpopular lol

[@usnationalist]

Pronk me. It seems like every time i watch one of these videos, all i can think to comment is 'Gold'. Too much good stuff.

[@unitedrepublicofegg6611]

Isn't that place china or something

[@am_i_rite]

Something like that

[@VanessaMagick]

They're not all called China, dude. That's horrible. I mean it's probably China, but it could also be a Japan or a Korea

[@Rextum]

Damn you Onion, I nearly choked on your level of sarcasm👍🏻😄

[@miriamango]

"we're now predicting in the next couple of hours, isaac will head west and tear through this funnel looking part here with all these cities on it." it's weird how a couple of weeks later a hurricane did actually hit houston (hurricane ike!)

[@mrwaldoful]

Thank god these videos are still up

[@ryanm.191]

Good thing that there’s nothing important down there

[@E4439Qv5]

Nah. What's a Veracrúz, anyway?

[@fosterslover]

I don't know where you're from, but the 2004 Tsunami was a huge deal where I was from. I donated $100 and plenty other families gave more. People definitely took notice.

[@ivanfraevich942]

1:07 Kevin Fischer is the new Phil Swift *"MAJOR DAMAGE"*

[@williamwilliams4262]

Large Land Mass! An omage to the Weather Channel's reference to Mississippi no doubt!

[@strangemarkings]

“John McCain courted black church-goers with a large beautiful hat today.”

[@ShAwNpalma]

You jinxed Houston!

[@peterpumpkin1]

Why did I just get recommended this? And I didn’t realize the onion was a thing 11 years ago

[@VkyleV]

Yes that must be it. It's a good thing that no American lives were lost. God bless America.