Husband of 38 Years Is Seeing Prostitutes (Is It Over?)

[@texasdazzlers]

Everyone saying “girl just leave” like she’s a 21 year old college girl is oversimplifying this lady’s predicament. She’s not a girl; she’s a 56 year old woman. She’s been with this man for so long, and life with him is probably all she knows. We don’t know if she has any education, any skills, any family and friends to support her, any possessions or credit cards in her name, any identity without this guy, any realistic way to break away from him and survive on her own. She probably doesn’t even see leaving as an option. Older generations when women had few options stayed in “marriages” like this all the time. Leaving is easy when you take control of your life and build a support system, but she probably hasn’t, so chances are she will stay for that reason alone. Very, very sad.

[@texasdazzlers]

@@SarahConnor562 That’s what I’m saying. We know these things. It wouldn’t surprise me if she doesn’t know them and feels she has no choice.

[@anatole2478]

Men who divorce often have no-one but themselves

[@Jordanguyps3]

I agree. Everyone says ‘just leave’ but what people tend to not want to admit is being in a toxic/unfulfilling or bad relationship is better than being alone and single. After all, humans are communal beings. To attribute this to another point, there are a lot of people in this world who think being in a toxic, overworked and underpaid job is better than being unemployed. It’s a harsh truth. I’d love to think she’d be better off leaving but it doesn’t mean single life will make her happy. Not everything ends in a fairytale.

[@texasdazzlers]

@@Jordanguyps3 Well I wouldn’t go so far to say that it’s BETTER. Being single is much better than being with someone toxic who makes your life miserable. My point is she might not have the means or wherewithal to actually follow through with it. If he controls everything in the home - which I get the feeling he does - she probably doesn’t have a dollar to her name. She might not even know where to start with divorce proceedings.

[@JellyBeanInTheNight]

@@SarahConnor562Well some prostitute charge like $10 so as with everything there’s always little details we may not know

[@MonicaGainsborg1]

This is EXACTLY what happened to me last April. Luckily for me, he was out of town when I found out he had been seeing prostitutes IN OUR HOME when I would go out of town. Read texts he had exchanged with these women 😮. I simply picked up my things and put them in a storage before he came back from his business trip. Within a month, I found an apartment and have been living the most peaceful I’ve ever been. Obviously, this crushed me, but I decided to love myself more than what little he loved me. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Oh, I blocked his number and will deal with divorce with a lawyer. After 12 years of marriage! Ouch! Never even had the conversation to hear what he had to say. He only texted me to tell me he was sorry because I left a note. His family talks about how devastated he is. Well, he didn’t seem devastated while I was oblivious. He’s only devastated because he was caught. I never told anyone what he did, just walked out of our mutually owned home. I value me more than a house! (One that was invaded by prostitutes) My advice to you: run!!!! A man that does something like that, doesn’t deserve you!

[@ember13dp]

You're right, he is only upset that he got caught. Stay strong through this! My husband's friend cheated on his wife with prostitutes. I didn't know that kind of thing was so common... it shocked us all.

[@EkayLaive]

Facts!

[@MariaKoroleva.Realtor]

Reveal him to his family! You have an obligation to let them know or they will be helping him drag another victim/maiden/motherly woman into your family house who he’ll abuse in the way he did you.

[@alexaleshire2420]

@@MariaKoroleva.Realtorlmao

[@MonicaGainsborg1]

@@MariaKoroleva.Realtor You are right! I never thought of that. Don’t want to look scorned or revengeful so I won’t make the first move to tell them, but at the first opportunity they give me to tell them, I agree with you, I should, so I will. Thanks!

[@pbj0815]

Do not wait until you have STDs that don’t go away and that you will have to disclose to new partners. You were not born to fix people, situations or disrespect yourself in order to not rock the boat. Love yourself! Get your plan together and go!

[@kalindakelly3417]

I agree. I think the doctor missed the boat on this one. I’m not getting an std just because my husband is seeing hookers! No sense taking that chance. He will most likely do it again and the roulette wheel will be spun once again on her catching something. Doing all that work he’s talking about to stay married to this man, just sounds exhausting.

[@kimjenkins7866]

Facts

[@annwallace3441]

Love this!! We are NOT born to fix people. If they don’t want to work on or fix themselves, then it’s not your job to suffer and put up with it.

[@topdawgtv6656]

STDs, are they even having sex at this point? 🤔

[@sarahdoanpeace3623]

This is absolutely grounds for divorce. Please literally get your stuff together, especially your finances, and go. Don’t ask, beg, plead or try. He’s made his choice. Now you make your choice to leave. Quietly and as quickly as possible. Run! Best of luck to you and God Bless. I’ll be praying for you.

[@lordtyrus1]

Hopefully he is not a serial killer...

[@wafflewafflegod]

Everything is grounds for divorce these days 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@wafflewafflegod]

@@lordtyrus1- how in the world did you jump there? Lol. You crazy

[@laurajomcnaughton853]

​@@wafflewafflegod not so crazy! Men and even their side chick have murdered the spouse. So yeah it would be best for her leave quietly and quickly

[@laurajomcnaughton853]

​@@wafflewafflegodcheating is grounds for divorce especially prostitutes

[@janetcarroll8863]

Divorce time. I found out my husband cheated on me after 35 years of marriage. He actually bought a house with his mistress, using our money!

[@GUITARTIME2024]

Lol. Janet, I'm sorry, but that's rough. Stay strong.

[@RenSayLess]

@@GUITARTIME2024not the “Lol” first 💀💀💀

[@GUITARTIME2024]

@@RenSayLess it's not a terminal disease. It's a goofball husband. Lol.

[@CaraJohnson01]

I hope you sued him

[@h.neubert8770]

Dang. The entitlement on his part

[@deekayvixen]

There is no coming back from this. I hope she finds the courage and the means to leave.

[@sarahdoanpeace3623]

100% truth

[@andron967]

The marriage is over no matter what she does. It is now time for the lawyers. My heart goes out to her.

[@chrissyellem7397]

This lady is one year older than me and I can't even imagine trying to start over. It's not just about the man or relationship. It's her status with her friends and family. Her status in their town. Being married that long it would be super hard to just up and leave.

[@msfubby9372]

Exactly

[@moirabaker458]

I did. After 40 years I decided I didn't want to live with a man who didn't want me. We still have a business together because at 60, you just need to get on with it which was VERY painful. Now he is married to a woman 20 years younger... I watch from the sidelines as to how it will play out..... now at 69 I still have no relationship with anyone although I live peacefully. Hugs are the biggest miss for me.

[@hillarybillary21]

Oh no! Hard? It’s hard to leave? Well we can’t do anything that isn’t pleasurable! We shouldn’t attempt anything that’s too “hard”. 🙄

[@mercykay6891]

WOW 🥹Status??? Look up the statistics of how many people attend funerals. >> And if it rains, maybe 5-10 (at best) people show up. I wonder if all those people whose opinions one is concerned about would even make time to attend her funeral if the husband gave her an incurable disease. STATUS?!?!? 🙄🙄🙄 Opinions are like a$$holes, everyone’s got one, so why worry about what people think? She should do what keeps her ALIVE. “Status” won’t help her when she’s pushing daisies because she chose to dwell on what others will think of her!

[@bollocks42o]

@@moirabaker458moira - i would gladly hug you after reading that. im so so proud of you. your integrity shines from afar ❤

[@tMatt5M]

The concept of sin is completely lost on virtually everybody.

[@aydinsha]

You don't need religion or any concepts of "sin" to have a moral compass. Breaking an oath of trust is wrong, even if you're an atheist, this is a despicable thing to put your spouse through.

[@tMatt5M]

@@aydinsha Your second sentence pretty much describes the word "sin". I don't think you disagree with my comment as much as you think you do.

[@amiblack8294]

Broad is that path to hell.

[@tMatt5M]

@@amiblack8294 you gotta strive through the narrow gate

[@Grace17524]

It's not sin. Sin is "I don't do something because my God tells me no". Making Moral arguments is "I won't do this because it's immoral. It's going to hurt someone and I never want to cause suffering" This man failed because he didn't care for his wife. He cared more about getting off. I think sometimes calling these things a "sin" is over simplifying it idk

[@emmy9159]

Bless her heart, she’s such a sweet soul. I’m sorry Sylvia…..you don’t deserve this 😢💔

[@thebiggerreality18]

She doesn't it's really sad

[@PianoMyHeart]

I think she revealed her true feelings when she said that if it had been a “real” affair (as opposed to hookers), she would feel freer to leave. Darling you don’t need more excuses, you’re not a bad person if you leave him!

[@carriebell3566]

She does not realize she is sleeping with everyone he’s slept with every time she sleeps with him. Yuck!

[@philwill0123]

Yep, him saying he's going to hooker, puts partial blame on her for not providing "love". Him having an affair put full blame on him. He knows what he's doing by claiming it's just hookers.

[@luvsiberians8006]

I've been exactly in her shoes. In my mind, there was no coming back from this kind of betrayal. I walked away and have never regretted it. My ex was a VERY cunning liar. He was seeing prostitutes for at least 4 YEARS before I found out. No way I could ever trust him again. I. WAS. DONE.

[@maril1379]

I hope you are in a better place

[@kellymarieapplebee]

And at that point my dear if he's been doing it for 4 years, he cannot live without it at that point, good for you for taking care of yourself.

[@maril1379]

@@kellymarieapplebee yes 100% right Horrible betrayal

[@luvsiberians8006]

@@kellymarieapplebee That was exactly what I thought - I could only verify 4 years; my gut tells me longer. He's now on his 4th wife, so he's somebody else's problem! ha ha

[@luvsiberians8006]

@@maril1379 Thank you, and I definitely am! No regrets, and loving my life now.

[@betbabe8222]

Based on experience, I'd say he's not a better husband now, he's just a better actor who has gotten better at hiding his infidelities. With this level of betrayal over years of your marriage, he walked right past the point of no return and has the audacity to be frustrated with her because she is struggling to forgive.

[@EadsB7002]

full stop! this is s3x addiction.

[@h.neubert8770]

Yes. And if he really changed but did not get treated, he is possibly hooked on porn.

[@bittehiereinfugen7723]

​@@h.neubert8770Porn addiction would also be a legitimate explanation for the man's defense mechanisms described. His empathy seems to be impaired, which is a very typical symptom of (sex) addiction.

[@jayfaisa3171]

She obviously wants to leave, but might not have the skills, education, money, or support system to get out of this situation without entering into poverty- and that’s the reality no one here is acknowledging.

[@flagal519]

This is the reason a lot of women stay when they are older....my mother did it....and until I could get an education and get my ducks in a row, I stayed as well and I don't regret it. He had taken enough from me, he was not going to up-end my quest for an education and the time to get myself situated in a decent life of my own. Its not that easy but it can be done.

[@MagickIsPower]

I knew a lady in this situation with her husband. He'd been using prostitutes for years, work trips to Thailand etc In the end he died from AIDS related complications and the poor lady was a shell. I hope this lovely lady finds the strength and resources to leave and enjoy the rest of her life without this piece of dirt who has put her at such risk. He is utterly vile.

[@Ligitizzy]

This is why I will never allow myself to be in a position where I rely on a man for survival. Because then you’re trapped.

[@boushbash3133]

💯💯💯💯💯💯

[@sb2017.]

Yup. 🥺😞. Unfortunately women are still to this day pressured to rely fully on husband. Especially religions.

[@boushbash3133]

@@sb2017. Historically, men have always wanted to control women and make sure they stay dependent (regardless of the race). Look at today, a lot of men (Andrew Tate's worshippers very often 😆) plead for withdrawing women from the job market and put them back in the kitchen and the laundry. It is always the same song : if you give women money, you leave us without any purpose. If you listen to guys like Larry Elder, he says that the black family in America was destroyed because the government gave the single mothers social welfare so they distanced themselves from the men because they are the natural provider. Therefore, the black family got dismantled. Men became economically irrelevant to women. I don't know how much truth there is in there but our world is going nuts !

[@karenmonson9893]

​@@sb2017.Not me. I saw to many women in this scenario and it would never be me.🤔🤨😬😠👿

[@kayleerivers2083]

​@@sb2017.I wasn't pressured I wanted to be a stay at home wife. I wanted this I've been in the work force since 14 struggling mentally these last 2 years have been the worst thank God my husband is a true partner not everyone gets those unfortunately

[@abizar3660]

This is why you have to hold your ground and leave if they cheat. If you choose to stay, you are choosing to let go of the past. I am a firm believer in that. I left an ex bc he cheated and he said he would would not do it again. I asked myself, can I truly move on from this. And I knew I wouldn't so I left him. He was the father of my child.

[@TruePathLiving]

Were you married?

[@pbj0815]

Good for you! Always choose your child and then yourself!

[@oldgeezer2780]

Ya know - if you forgive someone for this, a crappy person WILL take it as a sign that infidelity isn't a deal-breaker.

[@lpl433]

Everybody suffers not just the husband or wife. Kids watch and learn distrust unhealthiness too.

[@Mkay999]

The men who are into prostitutes while in a relationship will never ever quit. Ever. Do whatever is easiest for you! If it means staying in the house while dating do that. If it means filling for divorce and leaving do that. Be done with that man in whatever way is most convenient for you but you are no longer married in your eyes.

[@EadsB7002]

agreed... it's like once they are to that point, it's full blown s3x addiction.

[@Bluntgirly]

Such great advice.

[@LindaMeade]

He's a serial cheater and they never change.

[@EadsB7002]

@@LindaMeade you’re right. in very very very high majority of cases, they don’t. Especially if they know the spouse is dependent on them (aka most likely not going anywhere) & they’re a repeat offender.

[@thisis.michelletorres444]

Firstly, shout out to Long Island! Sylvia, YOUR MARRIAGE IS OVER! He did this for YEARS?! He's a cheater and a liar and he could have gotten you infected with nasty incurable stuff! Start planning a quieter, safer life, dream again, go back to school, travel. Don't leave right away, take your time... PLAN IT!!!

[@alexsandra7811]

Long Island gang! Also FACTS

[@user-tc7vg3zr5l]

GO BACK TO SCHOOL?!?!?! She’d have to have a tutor to bring her back up just to high school classes and then start college. And if she didn’t finish high school, she’d have to wait for GED classes also after a big project of catching up. Also, some community colleges put you 2 yrs behind of where you tested at like mine did so add 2 years full time school to a 2 or 4yr program. That’s crazy. Older people absolutely do not have the financial means nor physical and mental abilities as an 18yr old. She’s 56 and mourning a marriage of her long term husband!!!

[@thisis.michelletorres444]

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? Let me help you, I went back to school in my 50's with a GED, and credits towards a BA never completed *and a 4th grade math level!! 4th GRADE!!* I remembered NOTHING! I completed that BA in Journalism and am almost finished a BS in nutrition and will be applying for an MS in nutrition (lots of math and science buddy)! Also, she lives in NY, where school is free for most, and would likely be for her after a divorce, they even give you book money! *LASTLY, NEVER put limitations on another being, speak for yourself (if you have a limited mindset).* She can certainly return to school for a degree or licensure to get a better job, such as phlebotomist!

[@natnel617]

This right here. Great advice. ❤

[@90charim]

I hope God give her courage n strength and love for herself. This is horrible 😢

[@vanmamawannabe6360]

Did anybody ever bring up the financial damage he has done to the family purse?

[@Charlies1970TA]

Oh my, I learned so much with "dress rehearsing tragedy" and "being willing to get absolutely hurt again"! And "being willing to build a new relationship because all relationships are a risk"! Thank you Dr John and caller (Sylvia was such a good listener).

[@katiebrown7774]

I can't agree with the doctor on this one. This kind of behaviour can NEVER be forgiven.

[@kalindakelly3417]

I don’t agree either and it is unhealthy for her to take the risk that he might do it again.

[@rebeccaspratling2865]

Forgiven until she tests hiv+. Girl, bye. 😂

[@Sorchia56]

It can be forgiven, on her terms but never forgotten. Still doesn’t mean she should stay with him. That marriage is over, full stop. Once a cheater and liar, always a cheater and liar.

[@bittehiereinfugen7723]

@katiebrown7774 So, I have forgiven my husband for exactly this. Why not? A person is more than the individual bad decisions they make.

[@matinaki1644]

​@@bittehiereinfugen7723a decision to not give a damn about you for his pleasure... It can only be forgiven if done when one is about to break up, the couple are greatly alienated for a considerable amount of time or a one time thing he regrets from the bottom of his heart. Otherwise, there is always a hottie around the corner and who knows how the situation will proceed. Pregnancy of the AP? Std? Leaving you? Oh dear. Have an exit plan and use protection.

[@bc101ful]

Sylvia, im so so sorry, you are going through this nightmare. You sound so sweet and kind. May God give you the strength to leave and rebuild your life!!?

[@stevecook1267]

I find it interesting that John always introduces his new caller like things are great.

[@henxinggan]

Asking honestly here, how does he stop sleeping around overnight after doing so for years? Is this possible?

[@InDirectDiana]

Unless rehab or some extensive sort of intervention is involved... I don't see it stopping.

[@GhislaineMutombo]

​@@InDirectDiana exactly, it's a habit and his old. She's trying to teach an old dog new tricks.

[@brightpage1020]

Girl, go. Why wait for any more shoes?

[@myurbangarden7695]

My heart BREAKS 💔 for this woman. I will put money on the fact that her spouse would never put this amount of effort into repairing the relationship if the shoe was on the other foot. She also sounds like she has a beautiful European accent.

[@whitney9429]

Just anecdotally, men are far less willing to accept cheating. It’s wild the lengths women will go to try to move forward. My heart breaks for this woman. What a violation of her trust and bodily autonomy. Everyone should know if their partner is engaging sexually with others just for the sake of safety alone.

[@alluringbliss4165]

@@whitney9429 women have been taught to put up with it.

[@MENACE-km6bd]

​@@whitney9429 that's because many men are of the illusion that women will and must feel some form of attachment to them if they sleep with them. It's ego fuel. They tend to believe they lose nothing from sleeping with others and women get emotionally attached. They cheat multiple times and resent a woman for cheating once.

[@growing.grounds4054]

Um no she is Spanish

[@The.Hawaiian.Kingdom]

Oh Sylvia, if you see this, I’m so sorry. The thing is she’s 56 years old and at that age is extra scary to essentially start a “new life”… that’s additional to the fact that she’s 56 yo, married for 38 years and that means she married him at 18 years old, was likely with him for a year or two prior to getting married & so was basically with him since she was 16 or 17 yo… he’s all she knows, he may even very well be the only man she’s EVER been with. The thing is, he’s already betrayed you & the ONLY reason he’s being so nice now is because he’s busted, that means it’s fake, because he wasn’t being this nice all these years, only now, so he’s manipulating you. You have to assume he is or will eventually continue seeing hookers. Try to remember that you aren’t starting a “new life” Sylvia, this is all one life, one journey and you don’t really want to waste the rest of your life on a man who so easily betrayed you, a man you can NEVER rationally trust ever again. No judgement, I get not wanting to leave at your age, I get how scary that is, but you deserve to not have people in your life who would betray you and let’s just be honest… he REPEATEDLY risked your health and your life just so he could get off… that’s not love, he doesn’t love you Sylvia, he may love being with you, he may love that you love him so much, that you share the bills with him so he can continue spending his money on hookers, love that he has someone who cooks and cleans for him, love that he’s with someone who could find out he’s been spending BOTH OF YOUR MONEY to sleep with hookers, yet still stay with him… but he doesn’t love YOU, Sylvia, he loves himself. Please leave.

[@ritabarger9498]

this person shows a great deal of wisdom

[@katefox7692]

Living in France it’s so easy to become conditioned to this being normality. It’s refreshing to hear how abhorrent, and devastating to a marriage this actually is

[@KeepItSimpleSailor]

Seriously? Is this sort of behaviour widespread over there? Asking from Australia 🇦🇺

[@miltoncat]

She has low self-esteem (no shade intended; so do I sometimes) and is taking the infidelity because at least she still has a husband. Any love better than none. It’s sad that she feels she deserves to be treated badly.

[@EadsB7002]

almost every call made to this show is from a woman/wife with no self-respect or self-esteem/means of her own and i find that SUPER sad. Especially nowadays when women have so many more options!

[@user-tc7vg3zr5l]

You clearly have no idea how hard or impossible it is for a 56yr old woman to go through a divorce and simply get her own home. This has nothing to do with self esteem but survivalism.

[@AshleyLebedev]

Agree, Milton!

[@Sorchia56]

Her husband torn her down. I’m there now, a year and a half in on repairing the trauma my husband incurred. I felt worthless, used, disrespected beyond belief. (Thankfully, I have the means to live elsewhere and keep my lifestyle. Everything is mine. Pre-nups are phenomenal, thank you Dad for insisting on it. I’ve also worked and added to my own wealth.) I never thought I’d be in this situation. No one saw it coming. I had to repeat myself four times to my father of what my husband had been doing. The marriage is over. There is no coming back and I’ll never put myself in a position of “wondering” if I can trust he’s telling the truth. I thought with counselling, together and individually, him going to support group meetings, etc. would help but I was still spending my day wondering if he really was clean of his addiction, if he was truly telling the truth. One day I just said ‘enough’! Time to start living again. I am in charge of myself only. I can’t fix or change anyone else but myself. And that’s what I’m doing.

[@charissedivittorio4291]

In tears for this Lady cuz I can relate same happened to me too ect and I got out after 34 yrs my prayers go out to this beautiful Lady 😢

[@wafflewafflegod]

What, if anything, did you do that may have contributed to him seek intimacy outside of your marriage?

[@laurajomcnaughton853]

​@@wafflewafflegod ur an idiot! Not anyone's fault why someone cheats. It's a choice that Bawbag made!! Let me tell u I spent 3 years with my loser ex. I had his son. I done everything. I worked full time took care of our son even the night feeds. I cleaned his house, I don't the running before and after work to babysitter. I cooked the meals. He would say he would do the dishes since I cooked but I would end up doing them next day. He was over charging me the bills. Leaving me skint all while he was sleeping with escorts and hanging out with people be met on swingers websites. No my fault best a perv. No my fault be can't keep his D In his pants. No my fault the family fell apart. Some people Cheat and that's what they like to do. Love having a mum at home while they live a single life. Oh and I was faithful even tho the 🔔 end never once got me anywhere in bed. He had a cheek to sleep around he was disappointing women all over the Internet. Well seeing he had to pay for it lol stop talking rubbish and passing the blame to others. Clearly ur one of them!

[@elfascisto6549]

​@@wafflewafflegod bro

[@joetheboy04]

Do you believe you should meet your husbands daily sexual needs? If you don't, can he cheat?

[@Carriesue1982]

@@joetheboy04you’re pathetic

[@dplj4428]

Disease and disrespect. Goodbye.

[@mirabella2154]

"It's just a service." The audacity....😂

[@SpoonHurler]

If it was true he'd have told her the whole time... Getting the oil changed and Mindy is gonna check my fluids afterwards, honey.

[@christinah.8504]

any time someone uses the word just, they are trying to minimize what've they've done.

[@purpurina5663]

I'd say ok, then let's add up how much that "service" has cost over the years. You now me that money.

[@pink-rose667]

If my spouse cheats, it is OVER. Love you. Be strong. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

[@joygernautm6641]

Yes. Obviously it’s over. Get some women are bound by finances and can’t exit easily… but this man obviously does not love her, probably never has, and she’s deluding herself and harming herself by pretending that there’s still something there

[@pitbull7885]

Once a cheater always a cheater

[@h.neubert8770]

Some people mature. But at his age,… questionable

[@melissam6037]

He will do it again if she stays. 😢

[@cameronvantassell9483]

I know that it is rare in today's world, but people can and do change. I agree in principle but, I'm not so sure it can be such an absolute declaration.

[@EadsB7002]

9/10 he will offend again...at least from what i've seen with affairs/multiple instances of cheating. especially if they know the other spouse isn't "going anywhere" aka codependency or doesn't have the means to leave (financially).

[@wf4983]

Hard, hard situation for the woman: betrayel happens when people are hiding things from themselves - needs, wounds, desires. What makes it sooo unfair is, that the other person has to suffer. The one that betrays is choosing the easy way out of his own problems. And is making it the problem of the other person.

[@cathy7824]

I would get out and be grateful if he hasn't given you anything you cant get rid of.

[@meljay5660]

I can only imagine how heartbreaking it would be to invest 38 years into a marriage, and then have this happen. Praying for her healing through this.

[@danilaroche1156]

I'd rather go on welfare or get a roomate than remain in this situation. My ex cheated with hookers. Then he went insane and tried to kill me. I'm glad he divorced me.

[@matinaki1644]

Oh my God!! Glad you are out of this and in peace! Some men are scum.

[@Hatbox948]

My ex does this. Once they've slept with these women, you certainly don't want anything to do with them again. My ex even threatened to bring them to our house.

[@rochelle-xz8gl]

this is grounds for divorce! I would divorce him and take him for everything i could get out of him!

[@jennifermiller5041]

I am going through this after a 22 year marriage. I cant imagine going through this after the years she was married. I just want to give her a hug and cry with her. Im so sorry, dear lady. She sounds like Bianca on, " Rescuers Down Under. "

[@Gabster1990]

Oof. Girl, run.

[@winnief3111]

Complete restoration can happen in a marriage like this. I’ve been in a similar situation and it’s taken 7 long years of hard work. Not only did my husband work his recovery but I had to too. I was just as sick as him but with codependency. We are completely different people today and still married to the same man, but today he is my dream guy. Don’t stop short of the miracle if both of you are willing to do whatever it takes.

[@bittehiereinfugen7723]

Englisch Translate Französisch Deutsch Deutsch Russisch Deepl übersetzer PONS DeepL kostenlos Google Deutsch Englisch Es tut so gut das zu lesen, denn mein Ehemann und ich gehen den selben Weg. Verdammt, es hat mir fast die Seele aus dem Leib gerissen, aber ich konnte dadurch auch erstmals meine eigenen Probleme klar erkennen. Genau so wie er habe ich in meiner Kindheit viele negative Überzeugen über mich vermittelt bekommen. Jetzt haben wir beide die Gelegenheit zu heilen und gesund zu werden. Zusammen. Denn er ist immer noch der Mensch, den ich am meisten liebe. Und dass er so transparent an seiner Genesung und Abstinenz arbeitet hilft mir ungemein. Ich denke, irgendwann werde ich ihm auch wieder auf gesunde Weise vertrauen können. Ich wünsche Dir und Deinem Ehemann ein langes und glücklich erfülltes Leben! It's so good to read this because my husband and I are on the same path. Damn, it almost tore my soul out of my body, but it also allowed me to clearly see my own problems for the first time. Just like him, I was taught a lot of negative beliefs about myself in my childhood. Now we both have the opportunity to heal and get healthy. Together. Because he is still the person I love the most. And the fact that he is working so transparently on his recovery and abstinence helps me immensely. I think at some point I'll be able to trust him again in a healthy way. I wish you and your husband a long and happily fulfilled life!

[@kimjenkins7866]

How many diseases did he give you over this time period?

[@jt9058]

No freaking way would I stay for that. I’d be long gone the minute I found out. Get out!!!

[@earthling1984]

Cheating is the end, no matter what. Doesn't matter the age. There is no real relationship or trust after cheating. I understand she is older and been with him for decades. But, he did one of the worst things possible to do to your spouse. There is no coming back. It won't be easy being alone. But, it will be better than being with someone you can never trust. And over time you'll enjoy your single life, or find someone new.

[@damas2388]

after getting cheated on, the thoughts never ever stop, it’s that constant battle that one day when you’re strong you win, and in the day you’re weak you lose. Forever and ever the battle of thoughts. On the days you’re just not that emotional you can fight the thoughts with a good memory, you find reasons why you should just keep trying to work things out. However on the days you’re just a little more emotional the thoughts just flood and drag you to infinite anger and frustration. It’s the worse of being cheated on.

[@piratexxxking]

People have a real hard time accepting her choice. A lot of young people are giving advice on a 38 year marriage like they know better. I dont know crap and thats an extremely rough situation

[@TheHonorofKings]

Exactly

[@kalindakelly3417]

I’m not young and I’ve been married almost 40 years. She needs to leave this man. There is no scenario where she should take the chance that he would do it again and bring home a disease to her.

[@thaneros]

John's Poker face is unmatched

[@MsMak03]

You should see this other guy, Dave Ramsey

[@christinah.8504]

she's suffering betrayal trauma.

[@ari_an_yah]

Nawl, he is just a room mate now if she stays and he will never get over his addiction to transactional sex with no ties. He is a scumbag and she should just live a separate life with a man she never knew. She should go to therapy and work on herself and if he wants a relationship with her of some sort, he should at least go to therapy to see why he has done this for decades. Her trust and self esteem has been destroyed and its of no fault of her own imho. She just needs to get therapy and try to live a life pleasing to herself so that she isn't tormented by this forever. If she is financially dependent on him etc., she really is stuck but that can all be worked out to some extent.

[@fishin4bogey]

This guy checked out of that relationship a long time ago. The questions that NEVER get asked is why. I'd bet money if you put him on the phone, it would be an enlightening conversation.

[@HardNigga-tr4uy]

Yup she stopped blowing him and prob got fat too. Crazy to think being entitled to demand commitment sexually and also not engaging sexually (or engaging barely ever and without enthusiasm, also using it as a tool instead of out of love , care, and desire) disgusting 🤮 it’s always the same story Over and over again. Leave girl, ya she left the romantic relationship and marriage a long time ago. They are just roommates now and he’s rather not lose half his fortune plus social reasons family etc. Once again, no accountability always the same thing. God bless the ladies who act with desire regularly with their husband long term without second thoughts or hesitation. Those are “real” women surely

[@rebeccaoprea9917]

Don’t rationalize someone else’s wrong doings. I don’t care what they did and how they did it.

[@VioletEmerald]

She was 19 years old when she got married. Crazy.

[@SnowFoxParty]

She married him at 19....ohhh no

[@phoenixrising-sv8pk]

You’re seriously damaged if you’re asking IF this is over!

[@BGL333]

I don't agree to stay with him. It's been multiple prostitutes over a period of time....think about that. I suggest you lawyer up and move on as best you can. I don't get the impression that he is deeply sorry and remorseful, and how could you live with him knowing that? If you need to live separately while staying in the house, so be it. The lawyer can guide you.

[@nathanheath3756]

Truth , if it was once then staying is reasonable , but multiple times ? No remorse.

[@tomnohmy1273]

Poor lady, I would move on. That's me

[@Anagozalio]

Forgiveness and understanding is a beautiful thing. NOT IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS. He used money that should’ve been used for their family to put her at risk for severe health issues. He robbed her of her peace and now she’s being advised to essentially reprogram her mind and brainwash herself so she can forgive him. It isn’t her weight to carry, she needs to leave.

[@Erica-wz8yv]

How can you trust him again? And if you have to constantly keep tabs on him, is it even worth it?

[@natalia_00123]

He won't change. Sorry, that's the reality. Sleeping with prostitutes is a habit that I doubt will go away, especially after he said it's "just a service."

[@h.neubert8770]

He minimised it for his conscience

[@ElizabethDerlin]

Ummm yeah sleeping with my husband would be over. I don’t want no nasty diseases.

[@natalia_00123]

Sylvia, if I were your daughter, I would take you to live with me. You wouldn't have to be afraid because I would take care of you and be your rock. ❤

[@Rohaneh24]

This….

[@kcourtney6826]

Please go to the doctor and get a full work-up, I feel in situations like these where a spouse is a habitual cheater there is a better chance of it working out if there is at least a period of separation, he knows the worst that could happen if you find out, is you'll threaten to leave and you haven't lived up to that threat so there is no motivation for him to stop.

[@catH727]

One should never have to go to gynecology and get checked for stds. End it.

[@kalindakelly3417]

I wish I could give this a huge thumbs up.

[@stephaniegonzales761]

He's getting old, he's not gonna want to let this woman go. Who's going to take care of this old man? This woman is 😢

[@user-do5yv8ho4r]

Betrayal trauma is awful. She needs an APSAT and he needs a CSAT. There is hope, but they need very specific help and support

[@kathiemathias212]

Divorce is the only way out. You’ll hate always wondering. Move on.

[@colleenmccann1190]

Sylvia, God bless you my dear but this a hard F@$& NO! Anyone who could knowingly expose their spouse to a revolving door of disease - no offense intended to sex workers but this is a reality of prostitution - does not get a chance to explain or prove anything, period. Leave him, you are worth WAY more.

[@kalindakelly3417]

I so totally agree.

[@supersheena]

LEAVE.

[@petermartin9494]

Seeing one in their home is a bridge too far.

[@truckingwithtobee]

Take it from somebody that’s been through a husband of 30+ years cheating. Your relationship will never ever ever be the same. Let me repeat! It will never be the same. You will never ever be able to trust him again. And if they do it once, they do it again, it does not stop!!!

[@elizabethkarnafel5187]

To everyone saying it’s over and she should just leave. That’s a personal choice. I had a family member who was cheated on by her husband MULTIPLE times. The had separated and were filing for divorce the last time she caught him. And then found out she was pregnant. They went through couples therapy for YEARS and they started going to a pastor for guidance. Years later and she finally trusts him again, they are both happy, happier than I’ve ever seen most couples. He completely changed his behavior and it took years of changed behavior for her trust to come back and now she has it again. It IS possible. Now whether I would do it or not? I don’t think I could. But for some people they really can make it work when they both work on themselves and their own issues, for years. Not just a couple weeks.

[@arohanui922]

Keep your job, upskill, put money aside in a separate account, keep your children close and closer, keep your grandchildren in your life, make a life with girlfriends, never ever let them go. You may deserve what you get if you put all your trust in ONE person your entire adult life.

[@DJ-bq4rv]

My ex husband cheated on me with prostitutes. He claimed there was no connections but I then learned that his previous wife, he met her as a prostitute and they have a child together. Men do fall in love with prostitutes, especially the kind of men that love project women.

[@moirabaker458]

When I was young I made the mistake of taking my husband's last name. Women beware..... i was with my husband for 40 years when he decided he wanted a life without me. I, like a few other women, had trouble getting a credit card in my own name. Had no financial history etc., Everything from day one was shared. If I were to do it all again, I would keep my own name and finances...

[@catherinewilke5583]

I’m in my 50s, finalized my divorce 1.5 years ago. It can absolutely be done. He walked out on her. She just needs to file the papers to make it official.

[@thegatesofdawn...1386]

I'm just stopping by to say YES, it is OVER!

[@caitlinjohnny3828]

When a man leaves his wife's body to join another and others .. leave .

[@tulipchic34]

Why be in a marriage where you feel you need to keep tabs on your husband. I would call it quits. He has betrayed the marriage.

[@azimuthbusinesscenter]

he threatened to leave, he threatened to stay. Everything is a threat, unless he pays

[@asiakhan5314]

As a 24 year old who was born and grew up in Long Island New York I can tell you LI has some of the worst men 😭 Even the young ones are just like their dads

[@DNA350ppm]

This left me wondering if he on top of the hurts and insults, he has sworn her to secrecy about his cheating and betrayal? She sounded so subdued... She can find a job, and her kids too, if she has any. It can take a little time to find the right place... but there is work for her to do. Enough to get by and heal step by step, feeling safe because what she can provide for herself, and there is moral and practical support to be had, too.

[@littlepixel1650]

So gross. I wouldn’t even allow him on my doorstep

[@amydoran9987]

This has been going on for way too long. She should leave and end the marriage period.

[@mck2021]

I've noticed Dr Delony's advice to women who have been cheated on in their marriages has changed in the last year or so and he has been encouraging them to stay in their marriages and telling that that it doesn't meant that the whole marriage has been a lie. I can only conclude that his own attitude to cheating has changed and that is why his advice is like this.

[@tatertot80]

This has been going on a lot longer than she thinks.

[@theodorasa9957]

I wish Dr. D. would have spent a bit more time also validating that if she wants to leave, she is fully justified in doing so.

[@rafaelcardenas515]

I totally sympathize with her, flushing decades of marriage is not easy but that married is ended the moment he found it out. She just need to put aside all her fears and leave.

[@Jfavorite1483]

It’s a shame she didn’t find out 30 years ago.

[@phatqt3522]

Leave immediately. He put you at risk and never said a word

[@saterrah.6677]

This is why I am glad that I am self-sufficient financially, educated, have self-esteem, have self-love, and know what I do not deserve. I've never been married and don't need to be. Too many men are either nasty, liers, conniving, etc. I at peace everyday and don't have to answer to anyone. Being single is freedom! I pray women in these situations can get the help they need and love themselves enought to realize they don't deserve to be with a man that will treat them the way they would never treat that man.

[@NeccoWecco]

I'm so sorry, Sylvia.

[@laquamartin4602]

Plot Plan Strategize Your Escape. He's Been Putting Your Spiritual, Mental, Emotional, Physical And Financial Health At Risk. Typically That Behavior Is Nothing New. Don't Argue Take Your Love, Care, Concern And Power Back. Unfortunately Once A Cheater Always A Cheater. They Rarely Do The Inner Work To Change.

[@adelinewurzer4533]

Please raise your daughters right and instill self esteem and a good moral compass in them so they don't get stuck with men like this

[@Bebedollie]

Leave. Its not only hurting you spiritually but its dangerous health wise If its been going on for years. Run don't walk 💔💓🙏