Exposing Toxic Beauty Standards in the Mormon Church ft

[@lamantdapollon]

when alyssa said utah was the mlm capital i said to myself "how in earth utah is the men loving men capital?"

[@Erica-en2qz]

😂

[@carolinv3695]

same 😂

[@barbowens8626]

Too funny!🤣

[@Sc4r4byte]

trade that L for a S and it's probably closer to accurate.

[@tamaraaleman8405]

AHHHH HAHAHAH

[@alyssadgrenfell]

Thank you for having me on your channel, Hyram! It was amazing to meet you AND to get some great advice for my skincare routine 🥰🥰 thank you for sharing your story on my channel too!

[@anarey-oktay2683]

I love that he at you both living your best life and creating great content that everyone benefits from.💗

[@noellybanana]

queen

[@JA-rh6wq]

This was a nice crossover. 👌

[@rachelellis8416]

A collaboration I never saw coming!!

[@johnconnor6735]

You looked really beautiful.

[@rebeccazeman9309]

Facts. I've never been Mormon but I've fallen into the exmo KZbin content and cannot look away now.

[@himynameisemily3]

Mormonism is absolutely my current hyperfixation LOL i feel so seen

[@Am3lia77]

Same. Thanks to Allisa 😅

[@Am3lia77]

Same, thanks to Alyssa 😅

[@karenvanessan.2000]

Mine too and I have been out of the church for 3 years 😂

[@phillisob]

Mine started when I was in third grade and ended with years of research for my dissertation. 😂 The rabbit hole is as deep as you want to go. Every single time I think I've read/heard/seen it all, something new comes up. And it all started because my uncle served with a Mormon in Vietnam and once mentioned that he had special underwear that the military had to approve. That was all it took for my 8-year-old mind to decide I needed to know ALL the things! 😂❤

[@archiveofyass]

this is not a collab i ever expected

[@aryanj6501]

same lol

[@tamaraaleman8405]

Same!! But it's good to see

[@nightlyre198]

Same but I am so here for it

[@starveartist]

But I am so here for it!!!

[@amymifsud7864]

But the collab we didn’t expect we needed

[@peepee717]

the collab we desperately needed but didn’t expect!

[@briannacox4878]

yesss!! it felt like a weird pairing at first besides them both being ex-Mormon, but it was entertaining and it seems like Hyram got some further insight on his Mormon past and Alyssa learned more about skincare :)

[@K1ttyytt1K]

Glad you are well Hyram. I mostly knew your older brother, but we grew up in the same ward building. it was kind of one of those, huh small world moments when you came up. Alyssa has a wonderful way of helping me decompress some old stuff I have with the church so I watch her stuff often. Anywhoo you look amazing and I cant wait to try some of your products cause I am sure they are wonderful.

[@stephaniem5188]

I got my nose job in Layton Utah, and you’re so right. Surgeons are everywhere in that area! I’m not from Utah nor am I Mormon but there’s some really amazing surgeons to pick from there haha

[@SteepedlnStories]

I love how Hyram gently educates us on skincare without shaming.

[@VonnieBeGood]

OMG exmo solidarity! I’m still unlearning the unrealistic perfection standards I was raised with. It’s a life long process.

[@ReverieOfThorns]

Same, I was actually told by my therapist that before we unpacked all of the stuff with perfectionism and anxiety, we needed to unpack everything with my religious trauma and all of the bullshit I was raised with because it's the root of all of my anxiety and people pleasing and perfectionism as well as many other things. It's crazy how that has been the root of many of my problems

[@Mayabee321]

One of the best collabs EVER! I saw your video with Alyssa on her channel when it aired and was so excited because I love both of you. I left the Mormon church 10 years ago and I feel so much better.

[@celinepope]

Just had a deep talk with my mormon dad about all of the flaws of Joseph Smith. He is truly a good Christian (i dont believe in any of it) and he really gets in trouble for asking too many questions at church. He isnt delusional and knows the issues. But he still lives the idea of eternal families. So i took my name off of the records and he says "its not that i dont care, its that it doesnt matter if youre on the records or not, because you are a good person." Which i really appreciate

[@s.a.6082]

What a good dad.

[@ES.Evergreen]

One of my favorite questions to ask is "if people can become gods then is it not possible that the gods of other religions (say perhaps Greek for example) do exist?"

[@celinepope]

Omg I love that you ask that. ​@@ES.Evergreen

[@griseldamedina97]

Mormon culture in Utah was so toxic to me for me being Mormon from the south. I was seen as weird when I would tell people that I didn’t want to get married so fast I wanted to date someone for a least a year before even having the conversation of marriage.

[@veggiet2009]

I am so glad I found your channel, I am gay and attented a heavily fundamental church which is very cult-ish, I'm 37 and I'm really out of that environment. I really do need to work on my skin care, I've dealt with a lot of self hate, and really all personal care tanked during that time, so I'm glad I found this channel

[@savannahs8914]

Maybelline's newest ad in Utah: maybe it's the Holy Spirit, maybe it's Maybelline

[@carenfeldman8854]

The fascination some of us non-Mormons may have towards current Mormon standards of femininity and beauty is that it's an extant version of an idealized 1950s womanhood. Movies and TV shows from the period showed us that Father Knew Best and Mom wore high heels while vacuuming the living room and kept a perfect house and raised polite and beautiful children who were expected to do as they were told. And weren't the women all made up to within an inch of their lives and oh, so stylish and feminine! As for the downside, I have listened to the reminiscences of my mother and mother-in-law regarding the relentless pressure from their mothers and grandmothers to marry as soon as possible out of high school lest they ended up Old Maids at 25. If they were allowed to go to college it was to obtain an "Mrs" degree, and maybe snag a better marriage prospect than what you might catch from fishing in the general pool. Once safely married they were expected to quit work after the first child and tend to home and family forever after. Sound familiar?

[@JourneytoAffirming]

The content I didn't know I needed! Talking Mormonism while doing skincare!

[@Ridcully9]

Oh Hyram. I am so sorry you went through that. This is fascinating but I am glad you both got out

[@mimma6203]

Learning that plastic surgery is super common was surprising, I always thought body is God's temple for Mormons

[@mjacwest]

I thought the same but I guess they're allowed to renovate

[@Mfari444]

I’m only half way through. But when I’m so glad Hyram brought up that there are clear contradictions between the Morman church/religion and the message of Jesus.

[@starralertt]

I also want to add that the church supports predators through the idea of repenting. Once a predator has shown the church that they have repented, the church will give them a fresh start as a godly person despite their predatory history.

[@ErikWithBrain]

This is awesome. My bf is a big fan of Hyram's channel and I've been loving Alyssa's exmormon content. We discovered your channels separately and didnt know the other channel existed. Def watching both collabs with each other!

[@Luna11420]

Thank you for talking about your past, hyram! I was raised in a cult and left as well, and your stories are so inspiring. You truly never know what someone has gone through

[@ozlem5941]

Thank you for openly sharing your experience within Mormon culture, especially at a time when social media often promotes a lifestyle that can diminish women's roles. I appreciate you making this video.

[@RabiaSammy]

not relevant but i had a friend with the same name as you, ur name reminded me of her

[@ozlem5941]

@@RabiaSammy 💕

[@abigailrhodes4231]

Alyssa's skin is exquisite for being a "novice" skin carer

[@Am3lia77]

Tbh, she has a product for every step

[@traceycrawford9938]

Great video Hyram, thank you! Really interesting (and as a middle-aged lesbian, it’s quite shocking to hear the Mormon’s view on us ‘gays’). Also, you guys could be brother and sister! You are both so lovely, well spoken and humble. ❤️❤️❤️🇦🇺

[@dianaf3109]

If you want to know the Mormons views on guy- go to a “primary source” not this BD video. It’s so sad that one persons experience is defining over 14 millions people experience within the church I have never ever in my life heard anything negative about gays/lesbians- but only support and talk about how we need to love and embrace everyone

[@Karincl7]

​@@dianaf3109can a gay couple adopt kids, how are people on transgenders ?

[@Maguire-z2z]

​@@dianaf3109better to hear many first hand experiences than one sanitized statement that discounts past and present bigotry. Yes, the church is still bigoted and homophobic in it's teachings and policies

[@theonewithmika]

I'm happy that both of you came to your senses and saw what is harmful early on in your lives. Thank you for sharing this. I think it is important to speak up and let this be known.

[@e.mmacarr]

The collab I never knew I needed!!! Pleasantly surprised!!!

[@TeddyPalf]

This is such a legendary collab

[@aliciamichelle955]

Wow! Not the collab I expected, but I'm pleasantly surprised! Ive watched Hyram for 4-5 years and I've been watching exmo content for 2-3. I can't wait to watch both videos!

[@HPB1776]

Love you both so much. I'm not Mormon, I'm British and it's less common here I think. I had a friend who is of the Mormon faith though who was from Utah and it makes me understand what happened to our friendship once I introduced my best friend to her who is a gay man. I was completely ghosted and blocked from all her social media. She was / is so beautiful, always flawless, a stay at home mum who excels in crafting, has the perfect large family, an entrepreneurial husband who went to BYU etc. I on the other hand am a working mum and a hot mess so my friend was fascinating to me. I was so sad when she ghosted me as she was always very kind to me and now it's starting to make sense. What you say also reminds me so much of the crazy world on the Real Housewives of SLC. I would absolutely love for either of you to do some videos on the characters in that show. It's all there - ex mormons, beauty obsession, MLM related scams and arrests, kids going on missions despite parents not really following the faith (the concept of Mormon 2.0). I'm so sorry that you suffered so much for being gay Hyram. My best friend suffered coming out in the 90s but having to leave your family and community is a whole other level. I still think of that poor boy who was gay who Alyssa taught and talked about in a previous video who was bullied v badly at school. I hope he has grown up to have a happy live, I think of him often. Thank you, sending love ❤ 🇬🇧

[@starveartist]

Fyi Mormons tend to try to be friends with people while the whole time hoping to CONVERT you. It often towers off once they realize you aren't interested in converting, as they then target other potential converts

[@barbowens8626]

I love both these creators! It's wonderful how they each carved out their own lives and thru that, they're contributing to the health and happiness of all of us. Big hugs and many thanks, Hyram and Alyssa!✌️❤️

[@twinsNtails]

This is the best video I've seen you do in a while. Keep on this path. Topics like this bring so much value to the community

[@JA-rh6wq]

I grew up in a Mormon town and our high school valedictorian got her makeup permanently tattooed in her senior year of high school. We were all shocked and asked her why (this was over 20 years ago and not common back then) and she told us that she wanted to make sure she always looked good when she went to college. She went to BYU and got married very quickly- she was very beautiful (with and without the permanent makeup), very smart, and very kind. I wonder how she really felt about this?

[@HPB1776]

Wow! Fascinating story. That is an extreme example 😳

[@Goat.Cheese]

I wasn't ready for this cross-over, love it!

[@lahmiahoque7822]

What a delightfully unexpected collab!

[@kristynmalone1261]

I would have never expected this collab but I love it!

[@laurapayne8810]

This is amazing. I’ve been obsessed with Morman Stories on YT

[@GeneCapri]

Growing up in the Mormon church, I’ve never clicked so fast!

[@raysquiggz]

SAME

[@starveartist]

Same!!!

[@alvelochristine]

I have waited so long for this video ... I feel so liberated now that I am EXMO

[@marycollins848]

I love Alyssa. She's so smart and empathetic.

[@shellymarshall1744]

And how Mormonism blames the victim in cases of rape and childhood sexual abuse. After reading Spencer W Kimball’s Miracle of Forgiveness. I can’t forgive or heal

[@chatnoir60609]

OMG this is such a perfect encounter. Hyram you are my first Korean skincare guru, your approach to skincare so refreshing, full of awareness and tons of useful information, you were my therapy for years, now I pretty much follow my own path when it comes to skincare, but it was in a big part thanks to all I learned from you. And Alyssa is my new favorite KZbinr, I'm in the process of accompanying a very dear friend of mine during her break up from her spitirual leader and cult. Is not Mormonism, but the red flags tend to be similar when it comes to these groups, so these videos have been helping a lot. A match made in heaven, the real one 💙

[@camillaclark1]

As a woman who grew up hard core Mormon, this was both incredibly difficult and incredibly healing to watch. Discovering your channel has genuinely helped me work through a lot of my trauma. Thank you for making this ♥

[@carolynp552]

She is so precious omg, going to her channel to watch your interview for sure!

[@vanessakoeler8075]

Should be illegal for Alyssa to look THIS good on a video about beauty standards 😂 omg her skin is perfect!!!! Love you both ❤

[@madelynbryan5712]

Grew up Mormon and left the church when I was 19. They hit every nail on the head with this video

[@Dan-oy5vd]

Thank you guys so much for this ❤

[@luciarose6824]

I'm subscribed to both of you guys separately! so happy to see this collab :0!

[@beaniebun8779]

even though this was a serious topic it was so much fun !! you guys work really well together on camera omg great job guys !! 😸🤍🪩🪩🤍😭🐾🤍🪷

[@jcm85]

I loved this! I moved to Colorado in recent years and have been meeting Mormons for the first time in my life. They really do seem so modern and attractive. The most physically attractive man at my job is Mormon 😅

[@ellahere2559]

Wow this was amazing. I always learn something when I come here but this was beyond educational. A little bit of everything ❤❤ I am so glad you got out of that and enjoying being yourself and loved to Hawaii

[@LuanaOnMaui]

What?!?? What an awesome collaboration!!!

[@amberalbertinia1286]

I was listening to this during a long busride. And when i decided to watch you were just applying this eye cream and i had to laugh so hard with you two sitting there tapping your faces. It was so random. But such a vibe🎉❤. Great videos. Loved your collabs!

[@staceygaudette8038]

Loved seeing you in your comfort zone but opening up about this. Great video.

[@carao9108]

I may have laughed out loud when you mentioned the perfect lawn. Funny story, my in-laws moved from Connecticut to Utah. They are not Mormon, they moved there for work. Anyway, my brother in law mowed the lawn and the HOA yelled at my father in law because the lines in the lawn weren't perfect. After that, they just hired landscapers, lol.

[@Lulu-l]

HOA sounds like a nightmare 😂

[@kellywhite465]

What's a HOA?

[@carao9108]

@@kellywhite465 Home owners association.

[@Satanna.avemaria]

Both of you are glowing ✨✨✨

[@LauraOttawa]

Good conversation! I love watching Alyssa's videos and I hadn't heard of Hyram before this. I'll check out some of his videos 🫶🏻

[@jennasyoutube]

When worlds collide 🎼 So funny seeing two of my interests collide. Ex-Mormonism KZbin and skincare KZbin. I love hyram and I love Alyssa I’m subscribed to both already!

[@myrsal02]

I loved this video and the one you both did on her channel too

[@dianetheone4059]

Thank-you.-Nice-to-see-personal-revelations-and-serious-issue-content-every-so-often.-

[@aseel7845]

I like the way you talked to alyssa about skincare and taught her without making her feel bad about it?????nice

[@annamariaml9137]

As someone raised in the mormon church, and being part of a VERY traditional mormon family, here in Brazil those expectations about beauty strike very differently here. My interpretation is simply that the church here in Brazil reaches a VERY different public compared to the church in the US (and yes, ive visited Utah...). This isnt too much of a preoccupation for women here... However, its very clear that the ""most beautiful"" women would for sure be the most desired by men, not because necessarily because of their body, but most likely because their beauty would raise the perception of "mormon perfectionism" and for sure take a "higher status" between the members... Btw, i left the church almost 8 years ago, and as a member of one of the very first mormon families here in Brazil, I left my family devastated, and my sister simply never talked to me again. I feel for everyone who has to leave a mormon family and be traumatized by that experience.

[@ManokJanik]

I have been dreaming of this collab!

[@alisummers7984]

Well this was definitely interesting- I really enjoyed watching this!

[@shelbymerryweather]

Don't get me started with those "bishop interviews" ...super creepy... and was my final straw to why I left the Mormon church.

[@gachasunset1086]

Same here. No adult man should be having conversations with a 14 year old girl about her virginity/chastity and asking in depth questions about if I had kissed anyone, or had any kind of sexual contact at that point. That is 100% predatory behavior. (And this same bishop was charged and convicted of molesting 2 of his 3 daughters within 18 months of my “interview.”) Thank god I was smart enough to see through this behavior and it made me leave the church and I haven’t been a mo-mo for 38 years and counting.

[@celinepope]

I've been waiting for this collab

[@starveartist]

Love her!!! She is also really beautiful in addition to being very smart!

[@Danisuzette]

I watch a lot of true crime and now I understand why so many LDS men become family Annihilators...vanity

[@underthesamemoon8871]

Loved every minute of this! ❤

[@kimzrymiak9040]

Love Alyssa!!!

[@mypathunfolding]

Really loved this video and look forward to watching the other one ya’ll made!

[@rachelny5209]

You can go under the knife, but getting piercings is disrespectful to God 😅

[@TeaganYork22]

I loved this collab!!!!

[@livetochannel]

I would LOVE a part two talking about beauty standards when it comes to garments! Covering women’s bodies and the direct correlation to sexuality ✨

[@trueloveeditorial7239]

Alyssa has a video about garments on her channel!

[@AmySkye]

Hyram we've had reusable cotton rounds in the UK for years 🥰 I have black ones for removing eye makeup so they don't stain and white ones for general use.

[@stephanieamaya3429]

PERIOD QUEENS!🙌🏻😆

[@Lena-fu8wy]

i need more videos like this i love this

[@carolynknierim6848]

Grew up in Utah, not Mormon (thankfully). Have always been turned off and kind of disgusted by it all.

[@ingriddryden1607]

Interesting video!! Thanks for your content

[@becca1147]

She's such a cool woman 💗

[@staciejackson7497]

Didn’t Mormons used to say Black people were of the tribe of Cain which is supposed to be bad and sub?

[@nicodranasien]

I feel incredibly heartbroken for all Mormons but this video made me wonder about Mormon mothers. I just cant imagine having such a tiny box to live in (both metaphorically and physically) while pregnant, breastfeeding, and postpartum. I mean… those things are so so intimate, religion has no place in a person’s body in my opinion. I cant imagine feeling so insecure about breastfeeding my baby in public or seeking alternative treatment to my pregnancy symptoms. But most of all the no coffee thing is genuinely so sinister to me! Im not even joking like what place does any institution have in controlling what you eat/drink especially as a tired and burnt out mother who is made to pump out 5,6,7 or more kids! With NO coffee!?

[@dianaf3109]

I am a Mormon mother with 3 kids and I am doing just fine. I don’t live in a small box- I travel, I watch TV, I go dancing, i go on girls trip, I have a career, I drink my coke and Pepsi and I do go to church on Sunday and try to be a good Christian, a good person. This video is literally BS and could not be further from the truth- the person who lives in a tiny box is this girl who is filled with resentment and is simply making a living by s**t talking a religion that is beautiful and has so many amazing teachings.

[@Louisefenner]

They make up for the lack of coffee with addictions to caffeinated sodas.

[@SheWhoWalksSilently]

As a person that is LDS, I’ve never experienced any boxes about pregnancy, postpartum, or breastfeeding. There is a lot on the internet though giving all sorts of advice and half the time it’s just people trying to sell you things. Also, I love me a Coke Zero, or a diet Dr Pepper (all diet for corn allergy reasons 🤦🏻‍♀️)

[@Karincl7]

​@@dianaf3109are you re children allowed to be who they want ? Boy girl, gay with kids or non binair or is freedom something you control for them

[@jodyrosedahl4278]

I had a mormon friend when our children were little (3 each). When talking one day I mentioned wanting to have another child but wasn't sure if we could afford it or had the energy to deal with another child properly. She said that she was already burnt out and not enjoying her life and absolutely did NOT want another child but that she *had* to have 2 more to be a good mormon wife. 😢 (She did. She didn't have time for play dates after that.) It's sad that "children are a blessing" became "children are an obligation" for her.

[@SailorGreenTea]

6:47, more so physical aesthetics. Beauty is a virtue meaning, The qualities in a person or a thing that give pleasure to the senses or the mind.

[@kimmychan1967]

Bigger boobs- good. Second piercing or tattoo- bad. 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@beaniebun8779]

30:53 hyram LMFAO 😭😭😭😭

[@mokshar9919]

Under the Banner of Heaven is such a great show to watch about this! It's on Hulu and Andrew Garfield and Daisy Edgar Jones are in it!!!

[@kierrla2811]

Never clicked on a video so fast 😂😂

[@oboemilyf]

So should I not be washing my face with Irish Spring 😅

[@Bkjd9723]

[@HoomansAreDoomed]

I am intrigued

[@staciejackson7497]

Mormon is the original “prosperity doctrine” that the evangelicals co-opted.

[@missa_holly6787]

I think part of these kinds of latter day saint standards are culturally influenced. Being in Australasia, the "bragging" of positions within the church and having a family are slowly declining. Its shows itself in ward cliques. And its becoming "normal" for adults to be single into their late 20s/early 30s. And whats interesting to me is hearing about the plastic surgery. I dont understand how the teachings says thats "okay". you cant tattoo yourself and we are made in the likeness of god but plastic surgery is normal in the US. So I think its important to note that there is the people aspect. The teachings and beliefs are interpreted differently by each individual and much like politicians or teachers, everyone has an agenda and that factors into the supposed "standards" that are set.

[@iloverednails]

thank you!!

[@lindseystein9676]

lol your eyebrow impression of Matt gates was so funny. He spreads some really hateful ideology, so I don’t feel too bad about laughing at that

[@jennifermajor5013]

Wow. Just wow! ❤

[@PrairieDawnC]

I live in a community outside of the USA with a high LDS population. A temple is closeby. The idea of Mormon mommy influencers and their artificial beauty is fascinating to me because here the LDS women are very naturally beautiful. Few wear makeup at all, or very little. In my community, the emphasis seems to be on following the rules, dressing modestly, marrying young, and having at least four children.

[@mjacwest]

From what I've heard most places outside of Utah are more like that, all Mormons I've met in the US have been very anti-vanity, plain clothes no makeup etc. The Mormon community in Utah seems to have it's own culture

[@gabybernadette]

Not on my bingo card at all

[@TheElBardones]

Mormonism is so my hyper fixation as a non Mormon non American. The whole thing feels so much like satire I cant believe it is real.

[@anastasiayurishcheva3692]

I use exactly the same Acura scrub! Usually buy it at Whole Foods. Works great for me :) I’ve tried to do chemical exfoliators only, but I just don’t feel as clean as when I scrub it good, sue me lol