What It’s Like Going Viral for Criticizing the Mormon Church

[@mikey1305]

You helped my wife feel comfortable leaving the church. That has meant more than any words can convey; happy one year!

[@alyssadgrenfell]

Wow, that makes me so happy to hear 🥹 I hope things are improving for her, it's so hard at the beginning of an exit out.

[@PinkySnuggles]

I can think of at least one book that might help her with the transition! 😉

[@FarmerCourtney]

Your reach and ability to share so widely shows and proves that this Time represents the ends of secrets and the beginning of making all things new. As a child I was positively impacted by the safety and family instruction type commercials that would run on Saturday morning cartoons. “Keep those pot handles turned in” this message was brought to you but the church of later day saints….I know next to nothing about Mormonism and enjoy hearing the perspective you share as well as active Mormons. I mainly study with The Nation of Islam and have appreciated how you sketched out a working story board of the life of Mormons “following the rules”. I pray you’re protected on your path.Peace!

[@mikey1305]

@@PinkySnuggles It is sitting on my desk right now!

[@mikey1305]

@@alyssadgrenfell Thank you for your kind words; I'll be sure to relay them.

[@Blackhorselove1]

Hearing the tightness in your voice while talking about how your family will probably one day not want you at social events is heartbreaking! It’s very unfair that leaving these restrictive religions means being cutoff from the people you care about.

[@alyssadgrenfell]

It's been the hardest part for me for sure :( It's so odd to be loved and supported by strangers but to simultaneously be a huge disappointment to the ones I love the most.

[@sdbelland]

@@alyssadgrenfell I wish I could give you a hug. You're a strong woman and are helping so many who were/are looking for help/info as they deconstruct from the Mormon church.

[@Bri_4400]

I’m at this same part and about to cry for her. I’m just here to listen, not needing to leave a church or anything, but THANK YOU Alyssa for all you’re doing to help others.❤️❤️ Ok edited to add I am now crying with you.

[@tn767]

@@alyssadgrenfellif you are a disappointment to them then they need to do some soul searching Because you have a different idea or belief should not be disappointing. They should realize what a brilliant, amazing daughter they created!!

[@Amanda-xb7cf]

❤

[@jenwhitesides]

It was annoying to see that you had sold 2,999 books, so I bought one so I can sleep tonight. Love your videos and your bravery, Alyssa!

[@alyssadgrenfell]

Oh my goodness, thank you! You’re amazing 🥲 and this made me laugh haha

[@choosetolivefree]

OCD much hahaha. Also thank you, that would keep me up also

[@Manas-co8wl]

Now it’s 3001 books because someone else thought the same. Face it, this is one war you can’t win. Unlike the war against Mormons.

[@bamacopeland4372]

Yeah I woulda bought a book as well. ocd

[@jewelgazer]

Lol - love it!

[@MsMay1959]

I’m a 65 yr old woman. I left the church over 40 years ago. I..am..soo..proud..of..you!

[@rng813]

I'm so happy for you, glad you got outta there. You are a strong person 💗💗

[@vlong5537]

As a Gramma, (former Mormon -- haven't attended for 50 years) so very proud of your courage, your authenticity, your candidness, your wisdom and intelligence. You are a bright light shining truth. Thank you.

[@maggiepowell7696]

I think it’s sad that public debate is dead.

[@JohnDLee-im4lo]

Half a century and here you still are...pathetically commenting on Mormon stuff as if you still had a connection (other than in your mind). People like you are the reason for the saying: you can leave the church but you can't leave it alone. You are the poster child. Wow. Thanks for leaving 50 years ago...you haven't been missed!

[@ARSONXBELLA]

@@maggiepowell7696 how a person debate can liars. the Morman church give me a break.

[@lizziex6447]

@@maggiepowell7696 You have free speech and this is a public forum. You're the one who showed up to the debate without prep, Maggie. I have a feeling that if you had a point to make in defense of the LDS, you'd be making it right now instead of grandstanding.

[@Windthroughcedars]

Secrecy helps to build a sense of mystery and power. By doing things like showing the garments and the ceremonies, you expose them to the light of day and strip them of their mystic. I honestly don’t think I can emphasize how much power that takes away from an organization like the Mormon church. I don’t think you’re crazy for being afraid. But I just wanna let you know as somebody who grew up in a different, highly structured religion, it’s been very healing to see you speak.

[@T.K.P.]

Islam?

[@hungrywallaby]

I hear Mormon apologists say "It's not secret, it's sacred" as if the 2 words are synonyms. They're not. The Eucharist (or Communion, Divine Liturgy, Lord's Supper or other names used by different denominations) is the most sacred liturgy in most Christian denominations, and yet you can watch it on TV.

[@madeofcoconuts]

It’s definitely not crazy to be afraid. People call it “over-reacting” until someone proves them wrong. The discussion of apostates as “anti-Christ” or being “The Antichrist” is not that far from someone feeling that attacking someone would be righteous. Thank you for sharing your experiences, including the difficult parts. Especially the emotional parts, hard as they can be to share.

[@WoobaOne]

@@hungrywallaby And yet while visiting Mesa Merde, you are not allowed into certain places because they wanted to keep their ceremonies "sacred" (secret).. Most mormons know that all the temple ceremonies are out there for people who want to find them. I (as an ex-mormon) have no problem with a religion wanting to keep things sacred - after all, who wants to see the things you feel are meaningful made fun of on youtube for profit? It is the same reason you don't hear mormons talk about "Mother in Heaven", there just isn't any reason to have those discussions with those outside your religion.

[@Blackbeard0531]

I know a lot of people who watch your videos are either Mormon or ex Mormons but I’m neither. I’m just fascinated in cults and love listening to your stories of breaking free from this cult. Big fan from North Carolina.

[@bellinha1266]

same here

[@vaanki]

Same! Thank you for being so incredibly brave and sharing all of this online. Education about such topics is so so important! All the best from Germany ❤

[@unefemmepetite]

Samee

[@fmdomin9]

Same here

[@kathleenwindasgoodwin9165]

I had missionaries on several different occasions over the years. The Holy Spirit gave me a sense of discernment not to join. These videos tells me I made the right decision.❤

[@melance]

The negative comments really live up to the adage, "There is no hate like Christian love".

[@alexanderadams6628]

There is no acceptance like Democrat acceptance. 😉😎

[@ScottFunk-us6ro]

Mormons are not Christians. They don't preach the NT. They don't even MENTION Christ regularly.

[@akpokemon]

they're scared. they're scared she's right. Imagine pouring tons of money and dedicating so many hours of your life into a hoax created by a pathetic sleazy narcissistic treasure hunter/sex addict. It takes A LOT of humility to admit you were brainwashed. A lot of humility (and self-critique/open-mindedness) that most people don't readily possess. After all, aren't only fools susceptible to brainwashing? (No, anyone can be brainwashed...but these are likely similar to thoughts they're subconsciously battling with.)

[@johnspinelli9396]

*Mormon, not Christian

[@Aaron.Thomas]

It's telling, how these supposed Christians reveal what they really value. They wonder why people look at Christians and say, no thanks.

[@PaulMDavidson]

When I found your channel, I assumed you'd been at it for years. Achieving this level of success in one year is astounding.

[@sarahviktoria8494]

I am the lone black sheep ex-mo among 6 TBM sisters and mom. I have no support except you and other ex-Mos on YT. You are needed. Thank you. ❤

[@lisagrace6471]

👊👊

[@eris7070]

wish you the best!

[@johnmcnulty4425]

I'm a black sheep because I don't go along with the born again Christian majority of my family. Ostracization occurs outside of the LDS church too.

[@lisagrace6471]

@@johnmcnulty4425 black sheeps are def a thing outside the church- and even within your religion that must be hard- I wonder though since leaving mormonism is basically like syaing we cannot all be in highest heaven together and paretns feel like you are ruining THEIR family happiness and togetherness and their hard work at being good, if there might be an extra layer of alienizatio. also with the shear nunmber of life events mormons have that family is involved with - child baptisms, boys and the priesthood in their teens, lds missions for boys and girls, going through the temple and marriage for both...baby blessings etc. I have met some UBER judgy Christian baptist families though, so I can see how that would be really hard and maybe equally so in some cases!

[@the-salamander4truth]

Hang in there, others will follow. My wife and I were the black sheep in our families. Now out of five siblings, there’s only one couple still attending. On both sides, nearly everyone has had their names removed. What I love most, is that we all now give genuine, more meaningful conversations. When we were all attending, it was like everyone was trying to out Mormon each other. Hang in there.

[@hanskreuzmann6002]

From my wife and I, an old couple, former "card carrying members in good standing": We admire you greatly, you are brave and very capable to do this essential work. BEST OF LUCK AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!

[@alexanderh8129]

aw :3 ❤❤❤

[@mads5033]

9:02 I think it’s also appropriate to remember that unlike John dehlin you are not an over 6 foot man, you are a woman, and you have done things to call out fundamentals of what people believe. It is not paranoid to be concerned for your safety.

[@chanteller659]

Underrated comment. Despite the similarities between them, Alyssa is still a female ex-member of a patriarchal system that bases a lot of beliefs around the rules, obedience & (therefore) silence of people based along gendered lines. A man speaking about the mormon traditions & beliefs (pro or against), is a very different position from a woman speaking for/against it in a religion that fundamentally bases so much along gendered lines, particularly ones built to specifically prevent the latter from happening. There is an inherent bias, and increased risk factor. That risk factor is often seen in so many comments & responses, it's underappreciated in it's extent of impact, and it would absolutely translate further into the physical world.

[@paulinaramirez2469]

I thought the same thing, alyssa is not a man, easily any disgruntled believer could do something to her 🥺

[@marelinem541]

@@paulinaramirez2469 Alyssa, please be very careful. I sincerely hope that you do this work under an alias. My son was sexually assaulted for years by a mormon in 'The Church' Boy Scout program who was also a family member. Talking about it in youtube comments has gotten me death threats from several mormons, and one prominent frequent follower of content they felt didn't revere their church enough made a point of trying to track me down and telling me they were coming after me. They were completely wrong in their searching for me (based on my grandfather's first name and that he was born in Utah before 1900 - How many descendants do you suppose men born into the mormon church in 18-hundred-and-something have? Definitely looking for a needle in a haystack - LOL ), but they thought they had found me and I have no way to know if they harmed someone or not. But that's a very mormon response ... Dreaming of acquiring GLORY for yourself by avenging your fake/made-up religion. You can't get more mormon than that! P.S. An ‘Avenger’ could be especially dangerous if they were male and old enough to feel that they had 'The Power of Discernment.' (Which is a magical power possessed by mormon men who have the priesthood - which is all of them - that means they can NEVER be wrong about anything, as their every thought comes straight from GOD. 'The Church' doesn't stress that as much as they used to because mentally unstable men were acting on it in ways that did not paint 'The Church' in a particularly favorable light.)

[@Wasserkaktus]

John Dehlin and Mormon Stories has done GREAT work in revealing the real underbelly of Mormonism. He's definitely not as charismatic or charming as Alyssa is but he has a lot of insights into the psyche of Mormonism that Alyssa doesn't have. I do agree though part of the impact Alyssa has is how she is a woman who has so egregiously defined the patriarch Mormon Church.

[@s.a.4358]

@@Wasserkaktusnobody is saying one is better than the other, both are doing great stuff, the point is about the risks taken. A woman will always be more at risk of physical attack. Especially from a patriarchal society such as the Mormons.

[@laurenconrad1799]

I still remember how one of your first videos was about being a stay-at-home mom and how you weren’t ashamed of it, but ironically, that and other videos led to a massive KZbin career and you’re no longer a stay-at-home mom other than being a mom who works from home. Congrats on everything! I love your content.

[@alyssadgrenfell]

😂 I know, right? It's been weird to go from teacher, to assistant principal, to stay at home mom to... KZbinr?? I guess??? A wild ride for sure 🎢

[@nadineevans5195]

It's always good to know that you're willing to stay true to yourself. Your determination to speak what you think will hopefully allay so much of that extreme anxiety that you experienced growing up! Take a big big breath. Give a hug to your family. You're still very young and I'm sure that your life will take many turns and redirections. I'm retired now and I absolutely know that life is like this. But, each time it occurs, keep your chin up, stay true to you, and it will be ok. Maybe not immediately. But it will. It.Will.Be.O.k. 🩵🩵​@@alyssadgrenfell

[@Plethorality]

You are human. You seem to come through the screen. A rare and precious quality. You are loved and appreciated. ​@@alyssadgrenfell

[@arielrodriguez968]

@@alyssadgrenfellThere’s nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom, but it also sounds like you needed space to breathe and think about what you want for your life! You went into education because your father told you that you would be a teacher, and you always went along with what others wanted or needed or expected of you. It makes all the sense in the world that you would need some time to be at home, raise your kids, and think about what YOU want and need.

[@ashleebickley1222]

You are an inspiration. I have thought this multiple times, but especially watching this video. I never belonged to the LDS church. But I've been through an experience and have an identity that I wish I could publicly share to help others in the same situation, but I hold back for the sake of my family. You might be inspiring me to write a book!...under a different name. 😅 Thank you for sharing your story.

[@laurak1545]

One reason you have gone so viral is that you are such a good speaker/story-teller... love and respect from someone who was raised with no religion on the other side of the world :)

[@ErimlRGG]

Seriously. She is a really great communicator that seems to be in really good touch with her emotions

[@kriskova17]

I left the church last month. I came across your videos shortly before making my final decision to leave. You’ve helped me not be so depressed about all of the fucking horrible aspects of leaving. You’ve helped me to incorporate humor and lightness to such difficult topics - not in a frivolous way of course - just in a way to make this transition easier on the heart❤ Seeing you get emotional made me cry because I know that pain. I see your pain and I also see you joy. Thank you for being so vulnerable and honest and “offensive”😅 You are helping so many people!

[@DKdrop]

Very similar experience as me. I haven’t “officially” left the church, but I told my dad a few months back and my mom a few months later (my dads a stake president, so, y’know, that’s rough). I was already on my way out before I found this channel, but it was a huge help for me deconstructing and making a choice to leave. Hope things are going alright for you, friend stranger on the internet.

[@kaciclason5007]

as a 19 y/o deconstructing from the mormon church your channel has been so comforting. it’s been so isolating being the only one in my family to go through this and your channel makes me feel less alone. thank you.

[@Jr-qo4ls]

Hang in there gets better. Also, not just you. So many of us who have freed ourselves from the many other contradictory irrational illogical self delusional belief systems that we were involuntarily indoctrinated into as children by well meaning people feel alone when we first leave. If you ever get a chance reach out to help others free themselves in small or big ways. Again it gets better and I wish you the best.

[@hockeygrrlmuse]

I am a no-Mo who found this channel mostly by accident, and I am so grateful to see how many people are not alone in this. It may feel that way, especially because your family is staying behind, but you have so much life ahead of you! It will be difficult sometimes, as anyone's 20s are (I'm 29 and have had many ups and downs) but you will make it and you will find wonderful people and purpose and things to love!!!

[@lynleygilchrist7703]

Sending you all the love ❤

[@dianacryer]

You’re so young I’m glad you are out. There are so many people out there that have left high control groups doing videos. I think it helps to hear their stories. You got this.

[@l.n.3372]

OG I really like your Kirby pic. Did you draw it? If not, do you know the artist?

[@michcarp]

your name literally came up during lunch at work yesterday. in the context that your content had helped more than one person at the table in the past year. ❤❤❤

[@alyssadgrenfell]

Wow, that is honestly so amazing to hear

[@michcarp]

@@alyssadgrenfell ♥️♥️ I understand. I work on the Life After MLM podcast, and Roberta's gone through a lot of what you talk about in this video too. We would love to chat with you some time--about Mormonism or about this even!

[@loes1727]

At my job as well! Multiple coworkers knew you and loved your videos. Hi from the Netherlands. You rock!

[@hailyjohnson407]

​@michcarp wow what a crossover here! I love that podcast! And as a never mormon, I think anti-mlm content has led me to the ex-Mormon content and then to cult awareness content like Cults to Conciousness. I love the intersectionality of discovering how connected high control groups are.

[@michcarp]

@@hailyjohnson407 yes!! I've actually written a substack article about the cult-to-MLM pipeline and you nailed the "why"!

[@eps3154]

I love your heart. You obviously care deeply for people and truth. Your integrity is so inspiring! Happy birthday - please have your favorite latte on me ❤

[@alyssadgrenfell]

Wow, thank you so much

[@eps3154]

​@@alyssadgrenfell❤

[@reginajanelilianapatterson5838]

@@alyssadgrenfell *raises her cup to "Devil's Bean Joose" to you!* Cheers!

[@85litovkin53]

Speaking about the isolation at minute 21 and hearing the tears in your voice, it's heartbreaking. I am not a former Mormon, but a former Calvinist Christian, I feel that isolation deeply, most of my family of 10 kids knows that I have rejected their faith, they will never understand why I chose to leave. My wife still keeps it from her family because she feels she will lose those relationships. I really appreciate your videos and hope to see you continue to grow.

[@not_you_i_dont_even_know_you]

Oh jeez, Calvinism is intense. I grew up non denominational but went to a Christian school and was friends with Calvinists and fundies and Baptists etc etc. Congrats on getting out!

[@Maria.0.1]

I’m an ex-catholic raised since childhood in the Opus Dei organization, almost made my celibacy vows too, to join them for life. Turns out I found out in my late teens, just in time that I am in fact, a lesbian, and I was able after this realization, to reconstruct my identity. I’m now 24 and fascinated with your story and other people’s stories leaving religion. I know how lonely it feels sometimes, but together we are stronger. Thank you for this channel ♥️

[@merrydaye4763]

Please start your own channel! That sect needs coverage and understanding that it is a cult! No matter what the Pope says!

[@kxjx]

Honestly any organization that wants to control your sexuality as the price of admission.... well that is very freaky. Very freaky. Those people who run that organization have serious issues and need to seek professional psychological help. Glad you dodged thet bullet welcome to the free world 😂

[@swimmyswim417]

Consuming ex-Mormon and ex-fundie stuff has been instrumental in my deconstructing as someone who grew up Catholic, currently identifies as queer, and has been getting increasingly worried with the rise of Christian nationalist extremists. Keep fighting the good fight!

[@bookllama8158]

As a former Protestant, I agree that there is something helpful about hearing people from more extreme religions / denominations / cults deconstruct their faith. Maybe it’s easier as an outsider to see what’s wrong in another denomination or specifically a high demand belief system. It’s also not as close to home, but then you do come away thinking about similarities and deconstructing your own beliefs bit by bit.

[@juliannesmommy6694]

Yes! Protestant here and was hurt so badly by the church teachings. Seeing these brave individuals come forward has helped me grow and evolve. It’s been painful. I’m not through. But I’m grateful and growing.

[@chesh1rek1tten]

Trans guy in a same sex relationship and ex Catholic, too.. Yes, so much this.

[@LearningAndLiberating]

Same, I was raised Catholic and spouse is exmo. Studying Mormonism helped me indirectly examine Catholicism and made the deconstruction smoother.

[@authenticallytracy3421]

Has anyone found a similar type channel about Catholicism? I want to learn without being preached to LoL

[@finnegansmistake]

Speaking as a never-mo, your videos are so thoughtful, well researched, and informative. I appreciate how level minded, compassionate, and un-sensationalized your approach is. Your doing so much good work for so many different groups of people! You deserve all the good thats resulted from your hard work

[@ashupershpie]

As a lifelong mo- I have no issue sharing almost all of her videos with members even. (There are a couple that would trigger an active member that I wouldn’t). But she does share what my experience has been as well.

[@mooglily]

As a never-mo I feel the same! Alyssa’s videos leave me feeling critical of the “religion” & not the people in it which is a testament to the nuance she holds in her content.

[@working4ever]

She seems level headed, but she’s incredibly biased in the way she reviews information.

[@molsondutch93]

So well said, I completely agree

[@mooglily]

@@working4ever most of her information is just factual and supported by evidence. She also speaks about her own experiences, which are of course biased because everyone who speaks of their own experiences is biased. Though she hasn’t brought on someone currently in the Mormon church onto the channel, the opinions and experiences of members can easily be found elsewhere (like Mormon TikTok influencers etc) Additionally - information about the Mormon church from the church itself is also biased.

[@elizabethhaynes4034]

As a whistleblower in my own community who has seen several friends/coaches I thought I could trust turn against me, kudos to you taking on the church

[@lukesherwin4137]

I’m an ex-Seventh-day Adventist (a similar cult, though arguably not as extreme as LDS), and have had several long-time friends deconstruct from the SDA church in the past year, and I have shared some of your videos with them. One friend has even gone on to start a deconstruction TikTok channel. I’ve been fortunate as my parents, though still members, have been very supportive of me and haven’t shut me out of anything (my only sibling is also out of the church as well). I’m so sorry you’ve been through this. For all those practicing Mormons and others who viciously attack Alyssa down for her views, please go away. Thanks for all you do Alyssa!

[@NatoshaZachary]

It's all very bittersweet. I left the Christian church last year and it's been scary and freeing. I don't regret it at all, but it's still hard to be the receiver of hate from people (family especially) who used to love me. Happy channel anniversary! 🎉

[@zeffster2]

wow man. so sorry your friends and family has terms to be fulfilled before they love you. They suck and I hope you are ok

[@kxjx]

Awful experience. My thought is if their love was dependent on your membership of a sect then was that really love or a mirage? And if their hate is directed at anyone who leaves is that hate really directed at you personally? OK I acknowledge the hate flies in your direction and hits you very personally, but those haters they hate an idea, a caricature, in their own imaginations. An idea from their indoctrination. Do they really know you now? Do they really know what you think and believe now? It is so sad that religion alienates us even from our own families. A book is more important than a child? Well I cannot respect someone who makes such a choice.

[@AnEDCFriend]

I've heard of this hatred, but thankfully have not seen it. Every Christian I know does/would not hate a family member or friend leaving Christianity. I do know their hope and prayers would be that they come back to faith in Christ. Exhibiting hatred does not help meet that goal.

[@elena_1776]

Silence and isolation are tools that damaging systems use to thrive. Speaking up is incredibly brave and important, powerful work. Thank you for doing it.

[@NehaMalhotra]

I have nothing to do with Mormonism. I grew up in India and found out about the religion once I moved to the US. Your videos have helped me identify broken beliefs that I'd been following. You also helped me navigate self love, fitting in vs challenging community and a lot of complicated reflections. Thank you! I pray that you find your tribe all over the world. ❤

[@wormgirl0690]

😮‍💨 I was wronged by the Mormon church in an ab*se situation and then wrote a singular blog post about it and got like 6 hateful messages and I STILL had panic attacks over those few hateful messages, so I can’t imagine the feelings you have had through out your time with this channel. It is SO important and I’m glad someone can and will do it. So thank you!!!! So much!!

[@lisagrace6471]

Exactly and I'm so sorry for what you have experienced too.

[@s.a.4358]

I hope you are okay and safe

[@larissabrglum3856]

So sorry that happened to you

[@naranjorm1277]

I have no idea why KZbin recommended me your videos. I'm not American (I'm not even a native English speaker) and I have no ties to any church - yet your videos have been really interesting and I really appreciate the honest way you explain your life situation. You're really brave and true to yourself, and I guess I just want to say: more people know about you, admire and respect you than you may imagine!

[@angelineblue]

My 3 last videos about me criticising the cult I grew up in went semi-viral, so I can relate on a small level. Got so much love from strangers but also lots of homophobic and misogynistic comments from believers. Can only imagine how scary it must be for you with a big channel, especially revealing so many secrets like the temple garments. Stay safe and thank you for doing what you do despite all the emotional hardship ❤

[@angelineblue]

Oh and happy Birthday! xx

[@jadynhallenberger3449]

Born and raised in the church, left mentally around 15 but physically when I turned 18. I never told my family, even though it has to be quite obvious, I just packed up and moved across the country. This is just context to tell you that I started watching your videos for education. I knew there was so much I didn’t know bc I separated young. I wanted a foundational “ex-testimony”. You gave me just that. I want to tell you that not only do I see you as a human being, I see you as a helping hand and an extremely intelligent soul. You made me feel less alone. Thank you endlessly. I hope you feel safe soon but who needs Utah anyway? Have a great 32nd. I don’t know you and I’m proud of you

[@choosetolivefree]

I need Utah 😆 I make my living here, and couldn't do it elsewhere. I don't mind most Mormons. My dad and his wife are TBMs, they are active and believe, but at the same time, have some of their own takes on things, such as, they will occasionally have some drinks of alcohol. I dated an LDS woman for a bit, she vaped nicotine. But, there are also many Mormons that I really have beef with, the type that my dad used to be, the tyrant type who force you into it, as well as the girl I'm seeing now, hassl tyrant Mormon family, who won't let her come home because she has a nose ring. Can't stand those types, and sadly there are a lot more than I wish. All that aside, Utah itself is amazing. The natural beauty is incredible. I just hate the drivers here. The most aggressive, reckless a-holes I've ever seen

[@jadynhallenberger3449]

@@choosetolivefree okay you take my Utah joke a bit seriously. Of course every resident of utah “needs” Utah lol. I’m not really sure the point you’re trying to make. To me the “chill Mormons” you describe just annoy me more. Are you in or out? The reason I feel this way because they feel they can choose when to judge and when not, and I can’t stand the closed mindedness delusion. But I guess it’s better than full delusion? I wasn’t saying get rid of utah, I was saying for a person who was in the church and left it I can completely understand why the natural beauty isn’t enough to return. Especially if she’s dealing with threats or chance of getting hurt.

[@nicr7066]

Your story is insane because I'm literally going through the same thing (planning on moving across the country at 18 as well) any advice for the not-telling your family part though (we're Pentecostal apostolic so worse but similar)

[@torie8604]

I somehow didn't know that you have only been making content for a year! you have seemed so polished since the beginning. I am a nevermo and got into this sort of content from listening to Latterday Lesbians. You are all so brave.

[@Rebeyells]

Oh nice recommendation! I’ve never heard latterday lesbians before.

[@torie8604]

@@Rebeyells Just an absolutely wonderful podcast, although its future is really in jeopardy. Definitely worth listening through what came out before the end!

[@katehall101]

I'm not Mormon, but I did leave a fundamentalist Christian church in my early twenties when it became clear they would not accept my sexuality. Watching your videos has really helped me process a lot of my religious trauma and I want to thank you so much for being vocal and putting yourself out here on the internet. You make a real difference!

[@OksanaHavryliuk-t7z]

Second this. It's liberating to see how a church you were taught is the only holy option on the planet, functions so similarly to a mormon cult. Raises a lot of questions

[@not_you_i_dont_even_know_you]

Same here. I tried to be "progressive christian" for a few years but eventually realized there was no way to hold on to the faith and keep my sanity.

[@OksanaHavryliuk-t7z]

@@not_you_i_dont_even_know_you I would say the biggest problem not the faith itself but the object of faith: it's lie, very hard to stay faithful to lie when you are an honest and congruent person

[@karisap]

hearing you say "I will never live for anyone else again" made me cry. thank you for doing what you do, it is so important ❤

[@personofinterest8731]

Youre a lovely, real, strong woman. 🎉 Happy birthday 🎶💃 to you! I'm a 78 year old woman who left the church in November 2015. There has been a grieving process, complicated by the loss of my beloved husband. I was helped by strangers on a similar journey, and I embrace you from far across the ocean. It takes guts and grit and we've got both. And you've got something else - a platform. You go and enjoy your life now!🎉❤❤

[@quach8quach907]

Also Catholic altar boy here. I remember something. You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor[a] and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies . . . If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Matthew 5:43 I would remind the Mormons who hate you of that.

[@paulinaramirez2469]

Lovely

[@OksanaHavryliuk-t7z]

There's another verse in New Testament about not interacting with heretics. So, I afraid your verse wouldn't work. From an another fundamentalistic church survivor

[@marelinem541]

@@OksanaHavryliuk-t7z "... not interacting with heretics." Surely hating and trying to harm others is 'interacting' with them. So maybe this is also telling them to leave Alyssa alone. At least I hope they take it that way.

[@lruss5050]

You’ve been a major asset on KZbin! I’ve seen you several times quoted online in The Sun( I believe!). Thanks and congratulations, you’re making a big difference!❤🇨🇦🥳

[@alyssadgrenfell]

Thank you for watching! I certainly never thought I would see myself in any news article ever, so it's been very exciting and scary and disorienting in so many ways. Thank you for your congratulations

[@laurenconrad1799]

I knew from an early age that I could never be a KZbinr because I couldn’t handle the hate comments. I admire anyone who can do that.

[@paulm.8660]

Some KZbinrs have someone else moderate the comments for that exact reason

[@choosetolivefree]

I could handle it, but only because, the be completely honest, I am one of those that enjoy smack talk online, but it's all in good fun. I'm sure there are many people who would think I'm a terrible person because I enjoy that, but, if you knew me personally, you'd know I'm actually a very kind, loving, generous person that would never wish harm on any good people. I watch this girl because she is incredibly sweet and genuine. I don't take people on the net seriously

[@careless_daughter]

​@choosetolivefree easy to say. logically, people may know those words mean nothing, but emotionally, they can be damaging. you don't give any specifics so i can't call you a terrible person but if your enjoyment of "smack talk" comes at the expense of others' humanity and well-being, then yeah, that is a bad thing and being kind irl doesn't make up for it. please be kind online, there are people on the other side of the screen

[@marelinem541]

@@choosetolivefree "but it's all in good fun." Not necessarily. The only thing I've ever gotten death threats over in youtube comments, was telling the truth about my experiences with the mormon church. They've got some real nutters there that fancy themselves as 'Defenders of the Faith.'

[@alacranberri]

You went viral because you are such a great communicator about a topic that takes so much bravery. I love your content!

[@Noxtrust]

Thank you for making this video, I’ve watched your videos for the last few weeks and constantly wondered how your family and friends may have reacted. I’m very happy to hear that they still are welcoming. Hope there is a day where you can feel it completely.

[@danahuffman9539]

I just want to give you a hug hearing the pain in your voice. I am proud of you for doing what you are doing and congratulations on your award.

[@amychen2504]

Honestly, your tears held back mirror the feeling I had when I decided to break my family system and be honest about behaviors. I knew I was losing my family.

[@KJ-qc8kq]

I was at starbucks with friends and your channel came up in conversation. Me and a couple of my friends all found your channel indepedently of each other and gushed about how much we love it. Keep fighting the fight! Youre doing great!

[@amarika6398]

Happy one year! 🎊 Just a thought. When you look at both of these groups in your audience, there's only one group who you and your content are actually affecting. You're not making your "haters" miserable or making their lives worse. But the people who find comfort and understanding and relief in your videos - for them, you are changing their lives for the better - just this comment section alone will prove that a dozen times over 💕

[@haileytrudgeon8344]

The courage it must have taken to share your experiences knowing that it would change your relationships with your family is immeasurable. Thank you for sharing your experiences ❤❤

[@verycoolscholar]

I’m an undergrad religious studies student and your videos have contributed a lot to my understanding of the experience of Mormonism. I really appreciate the empathy with which you approach everything you discuss while still speaking honestly about your experiences

[@miaohldin4272]

Hey Alyssa, before watching the video I just wanted to say that I started reading your book yesterday. It' such a good book that I - who doesn't need to leave any religion - couldn't put it down. Can't imagine the impact you have on those struggling! Now, that is truly amazing, to be such a positive influence in someone's life!!!

[@miaohldin4272]

A bit confliced now, work is over and I want to read your book and watch this video! aahh. :D :D

[@dbirdwell]

I listened to this two hour broadcast while I was cleaning up all the clutter in my garage. And it kind of resonated with me, because I just retired from teaching - and I was going through box after box of things that no longer applied to me because I am no longer a classroom teacher. I even found documents of training that I had to get back in 2013. Talk about clutter. So as I was cleaning out things for my past and moving onto a new chapter in my life at the age of 63, I’m listening to you as you are just starting a great chapter in your life - the second third part of your life. The first 30 years or so, you learn how to be a human and who you are. From 30 to about 65, you’re gonna be able to act on it if you are brave enough - and you definitely are. After 65, I’ll see myself in about another year! For those who don’t like what you are discussing and revealing, I get that. They feel violated because they still believe in the secrecy of their faith. I was raised Roman Catholic, and there was nothing that was hidden from us in any of the ceremonies that we would go through in our lives , so I can’t really relate to feeling that betrayal that they feel. On the other hand, you may have planted seeds in them to make them question their face - because ironically, I was taught by the church to actually question my faith to strengthen it. I’m a cafeteria Catholic. I take what I want - and I leave the rest behind. I don’t believe in a religion being or nothing to me, that’s a cult. I don’t care, nor should you care that I don’t care that you are now an atheist. You are exactly where you need to be, in my opinion. If it feels right for you and your family, then do it. If you, when you get older, decide to join another faith - that’s fine, but that’s not important to any of us. It’s your life and you do what you think is right. I’ve enjoyed your videos over the last year, because I’ve always wondered a lot about the Mormons. I worked with a lot of them in the Army. They always seemed open until I started asking questions, then they would not give any good answers. Now I know why. You are definitely a teacher - and I praise that as a 25 year classroom teacher. You are definitely teaching all of us some thing about you, about the faith that you left and your new life now. Have a happy 32nd birthday! If you’re ever in Dallas, send me a PM, I would love to give you a birthday lunch somewhere and even buy you a cocktail.

[@januszdziurzynski4750]

Thanks!

[@ambopinkfairy]

I was willing to risk my life to go on a mission and the right people challenged my beliefs so I left. I never even thought of deconstructing until your videos really made me face the music. I had no idea deconstruction was even a concept. It’s so interesting because had this been a gospel related experience I would have said it’s the spirit but I have felt more of a spirit with your content than the church ever gave me. Thank you so much, I never would have joined the ex-Mormon sphere without you ❤️ I love that you made this video because I enjoy hearing about your personal thoughts and feelings!!

[@Kay-tz2fh]

Hey Alyssa, I so truly appreciate your content. My most beloved pals in HS were all Mormon, some of my most beloved pals now are also LDS, and your content has given me the ability to understand some of the intricacies of their lives and belief systems. I feel like I’m better able to understand them, relate to them, and make them feel welcome and supported by me (even if I don’t support their religion). I was an evangelical conservative Christian until a few years ago, and so many deconstruction concepts that you speak about are incredibly applicable in my own life. Furthermore, you being a woman, college grad, mom of two, and a wife makes you all the more relatable to me. Thank you for being so honest about the extreme pain that is associated with being rejected by the groups who raised you, and thank you for being someone who seems to always strive to be focused on loving and seeing people as more valuable than idealogical perspectives.

[@authenticallytracy3421]

I have found the opposite watching her videos. I have lost so much respect for those who believe such craziness. They are truly brainwashed, way worse than I thought previously. How are you able to hold that space for them knowing the behind the scenes that they hide from others? I am struggling with this big time with both a friends and a family members who are currently so brainwashed. It’s hard to respect people who let themselves get so sucked in. I see the same thing in the Christian cult I was raised in and with Catholicism too, even my own parents, I struggle with taking their advice on important things because they were nieve enough to get sucked into a cult and still believe some of the crap. Religious trauma is very real. Those core beliefs are embedded deep and they program you from day one.

[@ProfessorPerky]

As an ex Mormon who hasn’t had any experiences in the temple, I really appreciate the exposures you’ve done. It helps me put my feelings in better context.

[@DKdrop]

Same here. I left at the same time I left my parent’s house, so I never got my endowment. It was always talked about in those secretive tones and everything was so shrouded in mystery for me. Made it tough not to think that I was just missing something. Hearing it discussed in frank tones is very helpful.

[@charlatte8942]

Thank you for sharing your story. I grew up in a house where both my parents left Christianity in the early 2000's. I've always been atheist and taught to think criticality about religion. You're so incredibly smart, its been wonderful to listen and learn about Mormons and extreme religion concepts and rituals. I feel way more emphatic towards people who grew up in such religiously strict communities now. You're a really good teacher! Also, I would buy a brown wig to wear when you visit Utah😅 I hope you have an awesome and stress free birthday. You're a rockstar, keep being you and don't look back!🎉❤

[@GothMagpie]

Alyssa, I know I’m a stranger online, but I need you to know how proud I am, and so many of your subscribers are, of you and all you’ve accomplished. Your work is so important to spreading awareness. Yet I am so terribly sorry it has come at such a cost to you. I hope more than anything you can one day look upon this experience with pride for all you’ve done. Sending you endless love and support. ❤

[@bamacopeland4372]

I definitely can tell this was a difficult To talk about.. Your delivery, tightness, and seemingly struggling sometimes. Thank you for what you are doing. If you can help one person out you made a difference. Peace and love

[@massiehearts1151]

I've gone down the Morman rabbit hole on ur channel it's been an interesting ride thanks for opening my eyes to the world of mormonism HAHAHAH

[@alyssadgrenfell]

Welcome 🐇🐇🐇 The rabbit hole never seems to end once you're in 😂

[@rootytootymailbox2043]

You’re a talented and brave content creator. Congrats on the success. I for one am glad you’re alive. Happy birthday!

[@alyssadgrenfell]

Thank you for watching and commenting

[@mic4600]

from a never-mormon it’s sobering to see the torment of leaving the church, you’re real as fuck for sharing so deeply and it’s so beautiful to see how you’ve overcome. if you have a therapist helping you process this so healthily can you pass their info my way?

[@mic4600]

also i’m so glad you talked about the costs of fame. i think it’s been almost a theme of the year to discuss the price of fame, the fact that it is normalized to worship or disintegrate people you haven’t met. i cannot imagine the trauma of fame, like you’d mentioned with both chappell roan and liam payne, the rapid rise is painful and there are rabid stalkers doing disgusting shit, to maybe losing relevance and feeling an epic depression. i’ve never been comfortable with how society reacted to britney spears- hell, i’ve made like “mental breakdown gonna shave my head” jokes myself, but it’s disgusting and i hate it, it’s laughing at a woman’s most vulnerable moment.

[@m_here1]

Hi! If you need a therapist, psychology today’s website has a free tool to find licensed therapists in your area who can meet your needs. You can filter by practice area and their ability to handle your background or issue. Also, they’re in your area for licensing but you can totally get a therapist who will see you online. I found my therapist this way and I have been going for nearly two years to online sessions through a secure platform.

[@helengledhill706]

This is beautiful. I’m a never-mormon and love your content because you CARE so deeply about this part of your life, and the damage it did. Glad you continue to speak out.

[@annakolenata3219]

I'm a nevermo but I look forward to your videos every week and love learning more each time. I see how courageous it was for you to decide to talk about all this publicly and how much you needed to give up for that. And I want you to know it wasn't in vain. You are a life changing force for so many of your viewers and are informing potential recruits to the mormon church as well. I hope your family and loved ones can one day turn around and watch and appreciate your videos one day. ❤

[@Tanman1682]

Hi from Wisconsin, I left the church 2 years ago to go to college in Milwaukee for Film. I left before I would have gone on a mission or would have gotten married in the church, so I wanted to thank you for showing me the information about the very culty things that happen in the temple. I was kinda at the stage of using my religious trauma as a party trick, like you were saying, but ever since the church announced making a temple in Milwaukee, I was mad and afraid that the church was legit following me. So, I've been telling my new non-mormon friends, since I left, to not join the church because of all the culty things that are ingrained in the church's history. I'm even considering putting some of those themes of breaking free from a cult into my senior film next year. Thank you so much for your content, and happy one year!

[@Haley-uj8gy]

Your content has helped me a lot. I wasn’t raised Mormon BUT my dads family was raised Mormon and they raised us with a lot of the mindsets that the Mormon church teaches and it’s been healing to address that through your content 🩷 you’re strong and you seem so lovely! Thank you for doing what you do

[@amberhyland]

Alyssa firstly I want to say: I believe you. I believe you’re telling the truth about the Mormon church and you never have to justify your experiences. They’re so valid. Secondly, I was in the Catholic church, converted as an adult and was fully invested and left after nearly a decade. Your videos, though about LDS, has made me feel like there IS a life after religion and there ARE opportunities still. Thank you so much for your informative videos, I love watching them and feel like a kindred spirit.

[@existentialdemo]

i hope she knows that these videos are significantly helpful for people who werent mormon. As someone who was a member of the plymouth brethern as a child, it is just so helpful to hear from someone who left another high demand religion

[@CherieMonique5]

Hearing you talk about reading your 5 year plan and feeling obligated to teach due to your father’s blessing was eye opening. So many possibilities were closed off to you in the church and now every single one is open again. I hope you take this time to explore even more of the interests and dreams you had before. I went back to school- law school at your age. The sky really is the limit. Thank you for being so open in sharing the good and not-so- good parts of your journey this year.

[@__kate___]

2:25 literally just started this video but felt the need to state right off the bat: WHAT YOU DO IS IMPORTANT!!! Even to those of us who aren’t/never were Mormons (sorry, **members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints**), your content makes me happy when it comes up on my feed, and I love learning about your experiences and knowing what’s goin on with you! That parasocial relationship has gotten me thru many tough days, and I’m sure it’ll get me thru many more! So, from a random subscriber in MD, thank you for everything you’ve done this past year and everything you’ll continue to do. Much love and happy birthday!! ❤

[@glizzymcguire8577]

I am so glad to be a part of what you call this “weird experience” LOL! Seriously, thanks for sharing and educating us! P.S. Happy birthday!!🎉

[@fionasgardeningchallengeye1386]

Bravery is a word that is misused so often because often people say your so brave for having that operation when really you had no choice. But you are one of the rare people that are so incredibly brave as you have had a choice and spoken out with often unknown personal cost. I don’t think there are words enough from your audience to reflect our appreciation. It is only through your you tubes that I have started recognising that I too experienced cult like Christianity and did not realise my PTSD was linked to that. Without your illumination I would have been blind

[@BeHopeArts]

The negative voices are always the loudest. I am here to tell you that you are saving lives. I left the church 15+ years ago and your videos have helped me more than leaving the church ever did. You have helped me to let go of the shame I held since I left (I’m only a year older than you). Thank you for your content. I hope I can meet you one day and thank you in person.

[@shelagh7850]

Your belief that its the content they hate and not you personally is a powerful statement. Keep that belief strong in your heart it will keep you healthy.--- You are loved.

[@lilskyguy7]

Thank you, Alyssa. THIS is what passion looks like! Those tears are what many of us athiests fight for! We fight so people can think for themselves! No questions should be taboo and no religious acts should be secret! Beautiful video! ❤

[@choosetolivefree]

I just wish people could understand that you can be a theist without being religious. Look up pantheism. It's a form of belief in intelligent creation that I imagine even atheists could appreciate. I believe in an intelligent creator thoroughly. I have no idea what it is. But I know what it isn't, and it isn't anything like what any religion would have people believe, like some personified magic man. I doubt our human minds could even comprehend what "god" really is

[@Hozi96]

Happy Birthday!

[@Notyouraveragemomster]

You are SO brave & refreshing. I am technically a nevermo. However my fathers family was/is Mormon. My father used to tell me when I was little "Mormons have horns". He would rather have an in-depth conversation about Vietnam than ever answer ANY of my questions about what his life was like in the church. I've learned the most feom you Alyssa.

[@Premium_jack]

Same. My grandfather decided not to be baptized at like 8, and left but the rest of my extended family is still Mormon, and some of them completely unrelated to my grandfather are actively converting right now. It’s a bizarre experience to be that close to this religion, while never having actually lived it.

[@amyjudy33]

You and I are the same age, and your content has been so deeply helpful, significant, and validating to me as I left the LDS church. We've never met, and I am not projecting a parasocial relationship on you or anything, but your voice has been a tremendous comfort to me in some of my darknest, most devastating moments. When your world is crashing down around you, knowing that you aren’t alone is a gift beyond words. Thank you! What you are doing is making a positive impact on the world. My life is better because of the videos you create and the vulnerable honesty you share. A thousand times, thank you!

[@marisacronk]

Alyssa, this was such a beautiful video. Thank you for being so candid and raw with how you feel here 38:00

[@k.oseland]

I grew up in Meridian, Idaho, and half of my high school was Mormon. We had a Mormon dress code. I was Christian but very much in Mormon culture for most of my adolescence. It has been so entertaining and sobering to have found you and watch your content. There were so many aspects of the church that I couldn’t rationale or understand but could never have open honest conversations with Mormon friends. My husband is agnostic and his ski bum sister moved to SLC recently. He asked if I would ever consider moving there, and I said absolutely not. I’ve had strong feelings about the LDS church for years, but your videos really helped solidify that and helped me be able to explain those feelings to other people. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[@danielibarra7375]

21:38 this made me get teary eyed.. wishing you all the best. This is the same reaction I got from learning about Sor Juana Ines de la Cruz. and her struggle to be all that she was.

[@WingedPeach]

💯😔🫂

[@lrbthsn]

I did not grow up mormon, but I LOVE your content. I find it impressive and inspiring how strong you are. You have paved a new path for so many people. I am excited to see what your future has in store and look forward to more amazing content. ❤❤

[@lisette7848]

Alyssa, your videos have made it all the way to Europe ❤️ we are plenty of Exmos in Austria and having people like you is the greatest support we could ask for. The community is so small, yet so big and the belief and religion take over so much of our social and inner world - sometimes listening to somebody who 100% understands what it’s like going through all of it, when there’s nobody else to talk to, is all it takes to soothe that pain that remains. Being indoctrinated so deeply, I think, affects for a lifetime. Thank you so so much for your service ❤️ You are courageous and admirable and I’m hoping one day your TBM family and friends will see that. Hugs 🤗

[@SirEdward243]

Great video, Alyssa! We appreciate you. Cheers 🎉

[@meganbrinkman1882]

Aww girl I’m tearing up listening to this - I can’t imagine how hard it must be to be stuck between Mormon family and trying to help others, but I think you are doing amazing

[@hannahnoble8013]

Never apologize for getting emotional in your videos it shows your human not just a content creator. I love you💗

[@lennonbrooks1083]

The tremble in your voice early on in the video made me emotional. You are so brave for speaking the truth despite how it's received. Power to you

[@jessicawild8753]

Ex Mormon here… I love your platform. I love everything you stand for please continue ignoring the haters laughing at them and sharing your brilliant content. It helps lots of us.

[@jeffjenks2533]

I'm an atheist for the past 32 years and had to find my way on my own. After finding Dawkins and Hutchins finally on KZbin it was a relief to me to find out I was not alone. Thank you for making the way easier for others.

[@billyponsonby]

I’m not alone in believing that I have my mother’s unconditional love. I know that my love for my daughter is unconditional. So to hear that the Mormon church can denude this most special of bonds is very sad.

[@angeljaceherondale]

I was never a mormon but I grew up in an abusive and coercive controlling family, and I have also always wanted to be an author but been told I would never succeed and needed to be realist, and seeing your content has made me want to write a book about surviving childhood abuse and building your sense of self from scratch, in hopes of helping others. So, even as someone who was never in the mormon church, you have been inspirational, entertaining, comforting, and helpful to me 💜

[@LoveAndHunger]

Really interesting to have heard your experience as an ex-Mormon being an ex-Christian myself. I can’t imagine the amount of good you’re doing for people still going through the process of leaving a religion and unpacking what that means for them. Happy birthday! :) (Edit for clarity haha!)

[@Rickettsia505]

I can still speak "christian", but I no longer accept that religion. I will NEVER allow another person to regulate my spiritual life, especially a male-dominated religion, built on the backs of women.

[@StrudelNoodle]

I just want you to know how brave, loved, and appreciated you are! I’m not Mormon, never have been. I was raised Southern Baptist and started asking questions in elementary school. I left the church when I was 18 - because my parents couldn’t ground me anymore. There are too many holes in the Bible for me to be a true believer. Keep speaking out! You are amazing!

[@olyasurits7815]

I have always wondered about the side of your life, and I really appreciate you sharing. You’re unbelievably brave, and your strength is very much felt. You’re advocating for so many people who can’t speak up, and I hope that keeps you going.

[@green97probe]

Alyssa, you're doing something great for everyone who has ever struggled to break the hold of the LDS org. I've been out since 2016 myself and still find things to work through. In my case, evil was the bishop who tried to stop my resignation.

[@yerocb]

Thank you for sharing all about this. I was never Mormon, but I'm fascinated by extreme religions/cults. I totally thought you were in a "happy place" after leaving years ago and after a year of these videos. It's very powerful to hear how much pain you're still going through, and it has to be hard to share. I hope your second year feels better, and just keeps getting better, though I know it will always be hard. Best of luck.

[@yerocb]

I had the same thought about your teaching, that it's kind of ironic. Also, the Patreon Creep is totally horrible but not at all unexpected on the Internet. I'm sorry that happened. I'm probably just paranoid, but I could totally see that as someone from the church trying to discredit you, but maybe I've been watching too much about Scientology.

[@yerocb]

I'm sure I'm not the only one who's said this, but an audio book version of your book? I know there's more to it than just recording yourself, but you obviously have A/V skills (or work with someone who does), are comfortable on a mic, and it's your own words. I also admit I have no idea of the return on the amount of time and effort. It may just be selfish because I would absolutely listen to it.

[@GabbieJoy87]

I’m so sorry you have to deal with ugliness. My good Mormon mom used to tell me to never let the bastards get you down. I left the church 31 years ago and had a lot of hate from some members of my family with the exception of my mom. At first it was extremely painful, but then I realized that even though I shared DNA with these people, I would not want to be around them if I weren’t related to them. I ultimately completely pulled away which was one of the healthiest decisions I have made. Try not to give your energy to the hate. Send them love and light and move on. It is amazingly freeing!!

[@katiemclean4086]

Hi from Michigan! I’m not religious and was uncomfortable with church when I was little. I didn’t know anything about Mormonism until I started watching your videos and find everything fascinating! You’re doing great work and are helping educate thousands!!

[@alissac688]

I’m from Michigan too and never knew it was a currently practiced religion! I thought it was like, “there was this religious guy, he manifiest destinied and so we learn about it in the formation of the US and make fun of him in pop culture.” I was 19 years old and moved to West Virginia the first time I realized it was a real practicing religion. I think it’s interesting how Michigan and the north east are non-Morman bubbles in the country.

[@abialton4488]

Your videos are intelligently and thoughtfully put together, they’re super informative and that is honestly the reason why I started watching them as someone who has never been part of any religious organisation yet finds the inner workings of them fascinating. However…seeing this video in particular has brought it home how much more this is to you…and what a positive difference you’re making for so many people, despite the difficulties you knew it would bring you personally. Next level inspiring and brave, that kind of positive action is what this world needs more of. I hope at some point you can start absorbing the positive comments. ❤ P.s. happy birthday 🎉

[@gloriouslyimperfect]

Happy birthday! As a sister of a Mormon but is a never mo you’ve given me so much context for a lot of the nuances of her life I didn’t understand or felt aggravated with.

[@stenforthewin]

As someone who has very much jumped on the bandwagon of following ex-Mormons through your content, despite no prior history with the church, you and Zelph in particular have been really meaningful to me in thinking through my own, different but related, innate patterns of self-policing and self-judgment. You're doing a great deal of good. Thank you

[@tiller6750]

Alyssa, congratulations on earning that play button! I am not, nor have I ever been, LDS/Mormon. I grew up Lutheran and now attend an Episcopal church. Even so, I consider myself to be more "culturally Christian," rather than a "Believer." I find your content to be completely fascinating! You are making a real difference in the world and I am so happy that I found your channel. Congratulations on all your success and I wish you the absolute best!

[@Birdnerd33]

I love your content and often listen while painting or relaxing in the eveinings. I was raised christian and left the evangelical church for similar reasons you did. I also lived in Salt Lake City for a while where I was exposed to the Church and found it fascinating. Was able to experience going to a LDS meeting with a coworker and I wanted to know everything about the church and the people there from a cultural anthropological perspective. Thanks for all you do. Such positive humanitarian force in this world!

[@mig188]

what you do is SO SO important and even though you'll probably never read this, i just hope this comment balances out all hate and crazy comments you must normally get