I Am Not Okay (But I'm Getting Help): A Schizoaffective Life Update

[@amschons]

Feeling like you're "regressing" is an incredibly hard feeling, on top symptoms. Saying "I'm not ok" takes great internal strength, and I'm proud of you.

[@user-QueenOfSheba]

The great thing about this is you understand your diagnosis and you know how to fix it. You know your mind is tricking you and that is 99% of the battle. The remaining 1% is medication. My 25yo daughter is being diagnosed as either depression w/psychotic symptoms or schitzo-effective. She’s not fully aware that her mind is tricking her and believes in her delusions. I pray that one day she’s as well as you are. This has been a nightmare for her and our family. After taking her to multiple psychiatrists and therapist and thousands of dollars later I believe she’s finally about to get an accurate diagnosis. Her symptoms started during Covid lockdowns and it’s been a nightmare ever since. Congratulations to you, your doing amazing and your teaching people like me who are clueless❤

[@SchizoKitzo]

Education is the goal, and I’m glad I can help. There’s not a lot out there and I seek to change it. Thank you for sharing the little bit if your story and best of luck to your daughter. Insight (how much you know you’re sick) does depend person to person, but it can get better over time. Mine has definitely gotten better. So don’t give up hope and hang in there.

[@LukeHehe-zn6on]

I'm in psychosis right now. Thank you for this. Makes me feel heard.

[@missdrool]

Psychosis is so scary and hard. I've been there many times. I'm glad you're getting help. I hope you'll feel better soon, Kit ❤

[@ryu7560]

I have Schizoaffective Disorder Depressive Type and watching you make these videos helps me a lot. I hope you get better soon. ❤

[@jadarobinson6487]

It is hard dealing with psychosis even when you realize it is psychosis. I’ve been dealing with this for the past 8 months. Dealing with symptoms everyday is tough. I hope that you find peace soon! Much love to you!

[@MaggieHessYoga]

I felt my death was imminent a lot recently, which was clouded thinking due to depression for me. I understand thoughts can be weird with this illness we share. I am sorry you are suffering right now and proud of you for your incredible seeming resilience and bravery. It'll even out.

[@SchizoKitzo]

It will, thank you!

[@Laeshaangellala0510]

Feel better Kitzo. 😢. We all have our good and bad days. Distract yourself with positive things.

[@moonriver78]

I hope you feel better soon. I am sending you positive vibes. I have religious delusions (that I am a Greek God or one of God's disciples) with hyper fixations (on objects or people) during my bipolar episodes too. It isn't easy, but remember these moments will pass. Sending much love.

[@moonriver78]

@HelloHumanRobots I'm a harm to myself and others when I am manic so it doesn't feel that way for me. I think mania can feel that way (a higher state of consciousness) in the beginning, but it's very risky and dangerous for some people to experience mania.

[@Catlily5]

​@HelloHumanRobots Objectively not so. They did know a lot for their time.

[@Catlily5]

@HelloHumanRobots The ancient Greeks loved money as well. We are still finding coins from then.

[@dannyllerenatv8635]

I've learned that it's okay not to be okay. Lately, I have not been okay either. Everything just feels, "grim" to put things lightly. We have to take things day by day sometimes, as hard as it can be. Hoping this passes soon and that you feel better soon!

[@SchizoKitzo]

Thank you!

[@dannyllerenatv8635]

@@SchizoKitzo Anytime! Take as much time as you need!

[@joanneandrews7707]

I’ve only just found these videos. My husband showed them to me as he’s always trying to learn more about my bipolar disorder (we watched the mania one you did together). I’m amazed at your inner strength and the way you can recognise and analyse your symptoms and behaviors. I’ve never known anyone with both BP and the schizo part together. Thank you so much for taking the time out to explain what it is like to have such a truly horrible combination of mental disorders. Education is key to helping people understand. I just know you are going to be around for a very long time and I hope your channel grows and you reach more people. I didn’t feel so alone after watching just two of your videos. I am so truly sorry to hear you’re not doing well at the moment. I’ve got tears in my eyes because I want to take your pain away. I’m glad you’re seeing a doctor soon. You are a truly beautiful human being, in every way possible. Hugs from Australia.

[@SchizoKitzo]

If it helps, I’m much better now. Thanks for this comment and I’m glad I can help!

[@landismithCOJ]

Let it out. Get the help you need. You deserve to feel amazing.

[@elizabethbarmann5361]

Prayers for you gf! Bunch of people out here that care and can relate 🙏💜😘

[@bhoomipc7306]

Praying for you❤ You are not going anywhere from this planet. You are gonna succeed much more in your life. Keep Inspiring us on this planet. We are grateful to you. 🙏

[@chelsey8737]

Thank you so much for talking about this! I've never known anyone with schizoaffective disorder so I appreciate you being so open and honest. You've taught me a lot and opened my eyes to how living with this disorder impacts every detail of a person's life. I'm rooting for you and I have all the hugs for you ❤💙

[@oslo456]

We hear you, Kit.

[@timobrien2738]

You are so strong. I’m glad you are safe. And I’m glad you’re getting the help you need.

[@Syncere20]

Kit I love you please feel better.

[@ella5452]

i am so sorry this is happening to you, that sounds so hard to deal with man

[@smerkin5000]

Sending positive thoughts your way ❤️

[@Thomas1MD]

I admire your willingness and ability to share your experience while working through it ❤

[@gckinsey]

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry I didn't see this video for so long after you posted it. And I hate that things got worse between your previous video and this one. That sinking feeling you described sounds really terrifying. I hope that you and all of your friends and loved ones stay alive as long as humanly possible, and that nothing about that particular delusion ever comes true. And I'm glad that you were able to get in touch with your doctor so quickly to get help. Sending you tons of (belated) big hugs.

[@SchizoKitzo]

Thanks for the comment anyway! It was a really rough time but I’m glad it’s over. Rock on GC!

[@tophercf508]

I found your channel in a very anxious state. I’ve been dealing with what I think is psychosis/ possibly bipolar. I have found similarities but also felt a sense of calm after watching you talk. You are so strong, you are so strong for the thousands of strangers you open up to and share stories with. I appreciate you, and I’m so thankful for you. I wish you the absolute best in your journey. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist in two days and I’m terrified. Watching you has been the sign that I’m not alone, and that maybe things will work out.

[@maureenaoberg1291]

I suffer everyday with bipolar. I hope things get better. I'm on three meds right now to help control it. I still have major moods of mania then depression. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@johnunderwood4656]

I know the feeling, Kit. Hang in there, friend, and don't lose your faith!

[@SevenUnwokenDreams]

I get this delusion every now and then too. It's horrifying. I am glad you are seeing your doctor soon, and I hope you stay safe.

[@angelacaudill453]

I’m so grateful that you are sharing your journey with us. Ty

[@mjlove6574]

I hope You feel better ❤ we love You❤❤❤

[@E-H_Psychology_Student]

You are deeply loved Kit. Thank you for being so brave and sharing your experience. I hope you feel better soon.

[@splish.splash-rabbitcraniu1362]

my heart absolutely breaks for you, and its wonderful that you utilize your knowledge and coping mechanisms to navigate through this dreadful time. i cannot fathom how someone may have the audacity to dismiss what you know about yourself, the disorder you deal with/have dealt with, and the experiences you have had with it which have allowed you to gain that foresight. thank you for being vulnerable and compassionate to not only your audience but yourself. you are right that things will be okay, even if they arent right now. i am so happy you are safe and able to see your doctor soon, and thank you for remaining so hopeful during all of this (what a difficult thing to do during these moments). i am grateful to have found your channel during one of the toughest parts of my life/disorder. i cannot wait for you to feel stable again, please update us when you feel okay to do so. so proud of you! lots of love from the deepest part of my heart!

[@leileiluslay]

I am so proud of you for being able to talk about this ❤ you are incredibly strong and you are not fighting this alone we are fighting with you, we believe in you

[@katryonkelly3772]

Hang in there love! You're such a strong person for being so honest and open about your mental health. I had a crisis a few months ago. It sucked but we just have keep moving or slow down a bit lol. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Stay awesome!😊👍🔥

[@KnightsTemplar-y4u]

Hi Kitzo, I have a form of ADHD and get the voices so I understand were you coming from, it's awful and the depression is overwhelming... Most people do not understand us and think because they're okay mentally everyone else feels the same and we know it's not so.. I've coped with this illness since I was a teenager and have only just been diagnosed with the ADHD at 52yrs old, hopefully some medication might help my symptoms.. It is said that mental illnesses are better understood, but through my own experience nothing has changed and when some people realise you're diagnosis they put everything down to your illness, example he/she is only annoyed because they have a mental condition which then truly gets ignored.. I feel like Mr invisible sometimes...

[@lucyscreamsintothevoid]

I’m in a similar boat. I turned 27 recently and since then I’ve been fixated on the whole “27 club” thing and I’ve been playing it cool for awhile and trying to ignore it but I tried to fight a cop a couple days ago (not related to the 27 thing) and it was really eye opening to how poorly I’m doing right now bc I would Never do something like that normally

[@Kammo.222]

Sending love and support your way Kit 🫶🏾🐝

[@32421AF]

Sending positive vibes here from Brazil! Love your videos. Hope things get well soon.

[@Sunny567-0]

You are such a bright light 🌟 it truly hurts me to think of you suffering. Thanks for what you do❤️ -fellow schizoaffective

[@80islandia]

Hey Kit - just came across this video in the algorithm and wanted to send a giant hug. I have a schizoaffective diagnosis as well (first hospitalization ten years ago) and understand how horrible and scary the death delusions can be. For me, I was convinced that I needed to die in order to keep others in my life safe. I want to honour whatever your understanding of psychosis and spirituality is (we all bring different points of view) while also offering the perspective from a fellow psychosis sufferer that you have the power to change the prophecy. Doing intense inner child work and retrieving what truths had been buried in the past were keys to overcoming the “schism” for me. Everyone is different. Continue tuning into your own wise inner voice, as it holds a truth about your own power that none of the other racket can touch. All the very best in riding out this wave. This too shall pass. ❤

[@thev0idnati0n]

Psychosis is so hard to deal with. Just got put on an antipsychotic, and my delusions dealt around being a fictional character and being one with the universe. My heart goes to you. It's okay not to feel okay. Hang in there.

[@mckennasweda3614]

Not going to lie that sounds amazing (also someone with "delusions")

[@shirleygiordano7627]

I always think that someone is out to get me. I understand. I hate delusions. I really hope you are doing better. This was 5 months ago. I regressed in my 20s, and I carried a stuffed camel around. I hope by now, you've had a successful med change. 😊❤

[@northstar627]

Hey, I love your videos. very much. I just wanted to say this because I havent seeked help. I'm not on medication. and that things may end up, and I'm very thankful to find your channel, and everything, and even though this is a side yt account I just want to say this video means so much to me, in some way? as a minor experiencing psychosis with their parent basically acting like we never had the talk about it, I'm at a low point and its staying like that right now. this video made me tear up a bit if I'm going to be honest. I feel the pain in your voice. its so fuckinh scary. I really hope anybody who experiences psychosis a very, very stable life soon. and I do mean that. because only being diagnosed with anxiety and depression is tearing me apart. and wanting to get worse to prove a point that I was NEVER FINE IN THE FIRST PLACE before I heal wont last forever and I know that. I do. I'm sending all my best love and comfort to everyone who relates, and this video to find others like me. giving you star stickers, random sticks & really cool rocks through the screen right now. I think those are cool ^^. living through psychosis is hard. and this year I have realized its a condition and that I'm not alone. I hope to find a new therapist soon or I'm afraid,

[@SchizoKitzo]

All I can say is hang in there. I didn’t get help until I was 18 and started at 14 with psychosis and mood issues and the parents did not know any better so I suffered. But I got through it, got to a doctor eventually, and took my care into my own hands the second I was over 18. Hang in there, you got this. And yeah, you aren’t alone :) theres always hope even if you need to work to find it, and work hard at that.

[@shelseaturner9062]

You’re not alone ❤ two schizotypals in this house, I fully understand. Although myself personally have not gotten messages that dark. I hope your Med increase shuts the voice up again. Will follow. I’m a mental health advocate and appreciate the bravery and vulnerability in telling your story publicly.

[@8xnnr]

It’s okay to not be okay. Schools don’t teach us how to be okay when we’re not okay but it’s a skill needed because it’s rare when we are having a life without issues.

[@All-expected]

I think this time of year is really tough for a lot of us. I have bipolar and like clockwork, I get a lot worse around every Aprill/ may. I'm currently in a hyp/mixed episode myself. Sorry to hear you've been going through this. I hope you feel better soon.

[@SchizoKitzo]

I hope you feel better soon too

[@MikeM-tg5oy]

Hi, Kit! This is my first time commenting. Your videos have been so helpful, and I wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I’ve been diagnosed with schizoaffective bipolar type, C-PTSD, OCD, and GAD. I don’t take medication because I believe it's poison. No matter how hard I try, I don’t know how to overcome this and take my medication. I experience a lot of intense "spiritual" delusions (it gets bad). I really understand what you're describing in this video. Currently, I'm 32 and never expected to live past 25. I have no answers, all I can say is you are not alone. Right now, I am not okay either.

[@jarednewsome616]

I found your channel a few months ago. I finally felt like I found someone that understands how I feel. Having this sense of solidarity; I hate that you’re having such a hard time. Instead of trying to recommend something, I just wanted to offer my condolences and encourage your already evident perseverance. This too shall pass.

[@Aweesashh_13]

!CW: vent! The feeling like I'm faking everything or I'm just having delusions about having symptoms.. it hurts.. (osdd-1a & cyclothymia , PTSD, c-ptsd symptoms , not diagnosed) - Plus, i feel just because my situation isn't like others then it is not something that deserves care and diagnosis. Btw , thanks you so much for your videos. It makes sense .. a lot! It made me realise that what I'm having (might not) be a phase.

[@SevenUnwokenDreams]

Everyone's situation is different and deserves care and diagnosis. If you were faking it, you wouldn't be feeling this way. You'd know for sure you were faking it and you wouldn't even care.

[@happysloth3208]

I felt like that before . I just got diagnosed with Anxiety and major depressive disorder. For me it was a combination of anxiety, imposter syndrome and major depressive disorder. I hope you’re able to at get properly assessed, because for me what helped was therapy and meds.

[@alexandermatthewsmusic]

Hope you have some good days at the moment too kit kat... I'm a bit " in it" at the moment too... I guess it helps to know psychosis is generally like the tides it rises and falls.. it rises for a long time sometimes but it will fall again so yes talk to a professional if you can and stay safe... All the best ❤️

[@N7Miker]

This my favorite channel. I really relate to this channel more than others that do the same content. A lot more relatable.

[@netherfae]

I just wanted to say thank you for posting about your experiences. it really makes me feel like I'm not alone in schizoaffective disorder and you've really inspired me to be more outspoken about my own experiences.

[@SchizoKitzo]

The more we talk the more normalized it will become!

[@SkibbityFlee]

I just found your page and tiktok within the past few months. Having recently been diagnosed schitzoaffective BP1 and BPD, whilst hiding/masking for all my life, you have helped me to realize that I am not alone and that it's ok to have symptoms. Also, having recently come out of a psychotic depression myself, I feel your words in this video deeply. Please know, as you have helped me -- That there are others out there who got you. 8.6K to be precise.

[@SchizoKitzo]

Thank you so much

[@infalliblefowl9809]

I've known that feeling of dread and it hurts to see you going through this. It's pretty normal to fear death, but it's torture to linger on the thought. I've been trying to figure out how to say that since I watched the video earlier because I don't want to come off as dismissive, but I wanted to say that this feeling will pass. Thanks for sharing your story. Sending positive vibes.

[@SchizoKitzo]

It will pass, just gotta hang on. 💪

[@rosalindwebb7729]

I have schizoaffective disorder and I know how menacing psychosis can be I’m sorry you’re going through such a hard time I’m sure you can get some help. ❤️

[@toddolson3521]

As far as the religious stuff... i totally get it... i got a religious tattoo and it's always there and is a constant reminder of how easy it is to go down that road again and again and be anchored there by the tattoo... I hope your feeling better ❤

[@tabatasennadagracalopes5180]

For me it helps writting down my thoughts and feelings, it kinds of puts out of my mind

[@SchizoKitzo]

Oh my journal is LIT right now

[@lisatomihiro3488]

I hope things get better soon. ❤️🙏

[@SchizoKitzo]

Thanks Lisa!

[@robertfrankenburger4672]

hang in there kid cause it will pass. i have the same diagnoses and that seems to be the most important thing to remember... it is always darkest just before the dawn.

[@benstramel2355]

I wish I was able to comfort you I’m sorry you’re so mentally drained right now. And I’m sure you will get everything straightened out with the Dr. soon. Love from FL

[@lmg88.80]

you will get through this. It's brave to talk about this. I wish you better days ahead.

[@Readmybumpersticker]

Mate, I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. But it's great that you have insight and strategies to use until the doctor can help. I get that you're just sitting there talking but so much can be going on in your head. Goodluck from Australia.

[@marc31415]

Online Gaming has helped me Distract away from being present with the hardship of the voices.

[@websurfer5772]

That's awesome.

[@websurfer5772]

I'm not okay but mine's ME/CFS and Fibro. Well, they seem to get us comin' and goin', don't they? Thank you for sharing how you feel. I'm listening and learning.

[@rainygreene9161]

It's like it demands to be heard and no matter how much you try to over ride it the more persistent.

[@samcare8811]

big hugs from the team rocket system we are curently in the 3 day of a godess breakdown

[@vegaoksana]

I had a psychotic episode recently that was also heavily religious-themed, accompanied by a feeling that I'd die by 30. It all felt so real

[@davidchilders2437]

Thank you for sharing your life and your struggles with us! I stumbled across your KZbin channel when I was feeling so alone! You made me feel less alone. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone! If there's anything that I can do to help just ask!

[@rainygreene9161]

I can't watch right now because I am on my way somewhere. I am challenging myself to function around people. So I will watch this later. Until then I just want to say I am here showing my support.

[@SchizoKitzo]

Thank you!

[@w.okkerse915]

Love you. Hoping you will feel better very soon.

[@ivanvicente9633]

I wish you the best. I have been also regressing a bit with some psychosis coming back, it is weird because I am diagnosed as bipolar but I got psychotic after being a bit keyed up a couple of weeks and I am now pretty much down or mixed. I also get doomsday feelings from time to time, I have never seen it as a delusion, when I am like that I also know that it will be me who ends it. I am not saying it is the same thing, just that you made me see it as maybe something else. I just thought it was a bpd thing or something like that because it is somewhat constant. Let's hope we all have better days before us, I hope it is, because rn I am not so sure, good luck.

[@SchizoKitzo]

Best of luck to you too, this stuff is so hard

[@tdotitan8855]

Thank you for making this video, a lot of the symptoms you were talking about about believing in a god that is cruel and evil and that i need to make things interesting for this god or he will get bored and make my life worse/ he just like to make my life hell for fun is a delusion i have had for many years. i have never went into treatment because i am scared of what they will do to me/ i am afraid that i will not be able to live a life on my own and i will be forced to just be under the control of someone else for all of my life. I am a lot better now this was mainly when i was in a younger age and i was forcefed religious dogma that destroyed my brain, but in middle school/high school this really messed with me. Obviously this isnt me "self diagnosing" but i feel i can relate a bit to what you are saying. Not planning on doing anything really with this information but knowing that there are other people dealing with this is kind of nice in a sense that i am not alone but i wish you didnt have to go through it. I wonder how much of this is a biological thing for me and how much is a trauma response from my childhood, either way hope things get better for you, i have watched you videos for a while and i enjoy your anime/manga convention type videos. I am glad you are getting help. Edit: also i have also had dreams of me dying in the future, one was a couple of months ago that said i would die in 8 months, i wont give much more details because it was very creepy but it felt very real, ironically this had me try to eat better and care better for myself a little bit but im not going too intense with it, but it felt insanely real, i couldnt forget it for days.

[@RobbW-ay]

I follow you on what you said at the beginning. Idk what the hell I’m going through but there’s something abnormal going on. I have many different narratives going ion or two anyway, in my head and i see their delusions but i believe them. I actually don’t know which one to believe. I’m positive I dont have schizoeffective disorder but is something. I’m going to see a patch today. Ty for opening with all your stuff.

[@idostuff5766]

You got this kitz! Youre a strong person! i started following you after my first episode of psychosis and honestly listening to you has been a journey i feel happy to have found you. Youre inspiring me to power through my bad moments aswell ❤

[@SchizoKitzo]

Heck yes thanks for telling me! 💪

[@paulflint6254]

It's horrible as I get it as well. People don't have a clue how bad it feels. I have religious delusions too. Each time. Hope you're feeling better soon

[@NightWolf15869]

I understand how you feel sometimes we have no power over those intrusive thoughts the only thing that helps is how you cope with them and how you deal with it .we can't do it alone

[@denisesalgado555]

Psychosis and ocd are killing me right now. Im in a group home and been through 3 hospital stays three time in the past three months. But im still going to school but the last semester got a b and f. What helps me is a pg out of my book then sleeping or taking a break. The disability service helps too. When i get too psychosis i cant think straight and i dont have an interest indoing things. But i try

[@Saturas098]

Warm hugs from poland, i hope you get better soon

[@KellieMarie-oi3ie]

Your strength is amazing. Keep doing the work and your you healing girlfriend

[@chris-zu6sf]

Recent clinical trials using the ketogenic diet suggest positive improvement in symptoms for bipolar disorder and schizophrenia as well. The improvement in psychiatric symptoms from the ketogenic diet is thought to be linked, in part, to restoration of mitochondrial function. Praying for you.

[@gamenation9485]

Hope you feel better soon i hate episodes there humiliating, i know they are, but ive hopefully built enough coping mechanisms now and medication adjustments it should be okay for a while

[@jodibriggs748]

Thanku and I love that you never give up you inspirational you are

[@azadehrasooli2307]

lovely how honest you are. you are a hero

[@RIP_Texpert]

I've had this disorder since I was 6 years old, psychosis would scare the crap out of me as a kid and now it just annoys the crap out of me because it's 4 in the morning and they won't shut the heck up and let me sleep

[@potentnyquil]

Hope you get better. Please get better. 😀😀

[@MooLovesYoutube]

Oh my god this is literally me. I just had a psychotic and manic episode (I have schizoaffective bipolar type). I have horrific religious trauma. I had the religious delusion that I was a prophet of Jesus Christ and that a demon was possessing me in this most recent episode. I tried to break into a church desperately wanting to talk to a priest. I was obsessively reading the book of John and Psalms. On Friday, it caused me to black out. I was waiting for my AA meeting to start and next thing I know I made an attempt. I froze in fear, called two friends, and got help. I was in the ambulance with sirens blasting flooring the gas to the ER, so the attempt must’ve been serious. This all happened because CVS REFUSED to fill my antipsychotic medication and then lied saying I had no refills when I did. I switched pharmacies after that fiasco. I just broke out of the delusions and hallucinations tonight. I actually worked today like you are going to work. It’s so hard man when you’re not in full blown psychosis but you hear the hallucinations and feel yourself slipping away? It’s scary as hell and I want to validate and emphasize with that. Personally, I choose to be an atheist because I realized my brain is too sick to be able to tell what is God and what is not. I want to let you know you are definitely not alone. If you need another friend with schizoaffective bipolar type who has been in treatment and is stable when he’s on his meds, I’d be happy to share my contact information in a private manner than a public KZbin comment lol

[@jengathoughts]

yes, you can know you are in psychosis when you can realize the symptoms. It is the same as people with delusions can understand what they are experiencing isn't real, yet it feels so real it creates question. It is a myth that people can't know what they experiencing might not be the reality others are experiencing.

[@SchizoKitzo]

this!

[@vidlunnia]

I have schizotypal thing, at least one doctor said that. And throughout my life since 2 yars old I had this feeling of... I can't explain it. I was like fear if death but also meaningless and "universe crushing on me" feeling. Especially at evenings and the mornings earlier. And I always thought that it was just the feeling everyone have to deal with. It appears not...))) And now I live in Kyiv, in Ukraine, and my panic attacks shut down because of war... I am so confused lately abut my mental health, about the symptoms I never knew were symptoms... I don't know why I am telling you this, it is just.... I know!) I can tell you what helping me. When I feel this feeling creeping over me, with dying and stuff, I ask myself: "so what?". I ask myself and then what? )) I mean getting mind from a cycle. Sometimes I am starting to think about stuff I believe happens after, sometimes it's just letting me care less. Of course I don't have the voices, or any gods telling me stuff. I guess it's easier for me to brush it off, at least now. Tough it is unreasonable because I am in danger here constantly 🥴🦉

[@killurbob3295]

I was just in the hospital 2 weeks ago. I started slipping into psychosis so I freaked out and took 10 risperdal. I finally went to sleep but when i woke up i could barely walk and i kept dropping stuff. It would take me an hour to pick up my e cigarette only to drop it again a mintue later and start all over. I was drooling and i couldnt speak. I sounded retarded when i tried to talk. I went to my doctor and she sent me to the psych ward. I was unable to move or speak for 7 days. I lost my job too because of it. No call no show. After the 4th day i was able to speak somewhat and tell the doctors what i did. They then gave me medication to loosen my jaw. I was able to finally speak a few days later. Shit sucked. I worry that it wasnt the risperdal and maybe im gettinf catatonic schizophrenia episodes now.. but i wont know until the next episode i have..

[@jillhamster246]

I can relate. I have the same dx. I struggle more w/ delusions. It can be difficult to stay in reality .

[@jasonnguyen8117]

i still hearing voices in my head for the pass 15 years ! i not know what cause it

[@zaltanameyer1322]

I also have scizoaffective bipolar type I take invega shot 234 mg every 3 weeks 200 mg Seroquel 2x a day I hear some of the worst voices in my that say very vile things and its scary I feel you

[@KhaneticsJ]

Praying for you.

[@Jayisjay-g5c]

Sometimes I think and feel like I want to enjoy introspection, religion, nature of the universe. The latest was dimension zero, but even that started to feel too heavy. I don't know why, there's nothing there. I had to start praying to get settled down. I actually feel better talking to myself most of the time. : )

[@Jayisjay-g5c]

not joking. 😊

[@Dimamoksit]

Your physical body is like a machine, the three main chakras being stomach, heart, mind in ascending order. The others are parts of those three systems, and coincide with the three highest concentrations of nerve tissue.

[@Generic-Internet-User666]

I hope you can start to feel better soon (:

[@kristh6973]

I know that your feelings and reactions to your thoughts are very valid but please don’t loose hope. There is always hope and you can get through this. Just a thought, but is there a chance that your hormones have changed a little and that is what is triggering your body to not respond to your medication in the same way? We are not doctors but we have an innate sense of what you need to ask for You will get back to a new normal in time and with some advice from your doctor

[@kinzhe83]

Hey Kit, I'm really sorry you're in a what appears to me a mini episode (looks like a mini episode to me, I'm not a doctor though). Honestly for the first time I don't know what to write in a comment, I don't think I'm equipped to understand this situation of yours, since I (or what is me at this moment) never heard voices, although in 2008 another "version" of me, the one that sometimes took over when I was hospitalized, apparently had quite a communication with then president George Bush (that's what my doctors told me I was telling them). When I was out of the hospital, tender, loving Zyprexa fixed all my mental woes, but boy do I pay a price. Being tired 24/7, having almost linear weight gain for the last 16 years, especially in the belly region, which in all honesty I don't know where else it can expand at this point, and I don't know how to fix that, and it isn't helping me at all since I'm working as a construction helper right now and having to do a squat just pick up a nail or piece of wood really sux (since I can't bend over because of the aforementioned belly). But even with all that into consideration I don't think I'll quit Zyprexa any time soon, I still value peace of mind more over some quality of life, which, I guess could be improved with some discipline and motivation, but that's another story. I really wish you feel and get better soon, and don't worry about "that" delusion, there's still that one person that I'm sure you will make very happy and I'm sure that she/he/they will get more than just 3 years. Take very good care of yourself Kit and best of luck :)

[@SchizoKitzo]

I appreciate your comments always, and thank you for sharing with me. I will do my best to take care and this too shall pass 💪

[@czitopou1]

I'm sending love and light. ❤

[@crazysox305]

thank you for sharing, wishing the best for you

[@Octavio.28]

God Bless you SchizoKitzo. I like watching your videos.

[@tylerogrady8194]

you got this KIT!!!!☺