I Called My EX Fiancé During Quarantine

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www.tlanaes.com/
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Yes, I Called my Ex Ovan during the Quarantine. In my book The Game of Desire - in chapter 4 I challenge the women to call their Ex's to gain inside on what they may have done wrong in the relationship. With this time being dubbed the Ex Pandemic, I thought it would be a great idea for me participate with my own little spin.
For an updated list of questions to ask your ex (should you want to participate in this activity) visit my site powered by Squarespace
If you've ever asked yourself these questions:
Should I call my ex
Was I good to my ex
Could me and my ex be friends
FIRST look over these questions to see if there could be value in the answers they may provide THEN think if seeking the answers may cause more damage than good before proceeding to reach out to your ex, especially during quarantine when people are more emotionally vulnerable. Remember we're all in this together and must be good to each other
thegameofdesire...
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Follow Ovan
/ ok_to_motivate
/ ovanshortt
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Follow me elsewhere:
/ shanboody
/ shanboody
/ shanboody
Get me new book The Game of Desire
thegameofdesire...
Shan "Boody" Boodram is an intimacy and relationship educator who promotes sexual empowerment through information and conversation. She creates content for young adults to make better choices in their intimate lives and romantic relationships. Shan is the bestselling author of The Game of Desire: 5 Surprising Secrets to Dating with Dominance and Getting What You Want
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Song by Jared Brady - Enjoy the Disco out now
beacons.ai/enj...
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[@squishykim]

"When you remember things very positvely , its because you were probably the negative person" WHEWWWW CHILD, I FELT THAT!

[@fatimah230]

squishykim THAT 👏🏾 PART 👏🏾

[@carolellamuch9571]

100%

[@mimicallsit7675]

That was a word

[@laurac86]

This is so true it hurts

[@EmpressAshe]

No Not necessarily I know what I did & I know what the person did

[@themandinkafamily]

I would like to see Jared have a similar conversation with an ex to see how that past failed relationship helped him grow

[@shanboody]

omg I WOULD LOVE THIS!! Do you know the Instagram account instagram.com/werenotreallystrangers/ ? I went to an event of theirs and RANDOMLY ran in to Jared's last ex and the two of us ended up sitting and talking for an hour. It was a beautiful, really cool experience. Jared found it weird but I should ask him if he'd be down now after seeing this

[@sovereignnorris7469]

@@shanboody do ittt plz

[@melissaruiz3768]

Yes

[@d.floydd]

@@shanboody girl power! That's awesome ❣️ I would love to see this too! It's so interesting & would give us anew perspective and a deeper view into Jarods life / past relationships, thus learning even more about him. :)

[@CottoncanzyAnnchristine]

Shan BOODY that’ll be beautiful to see! Love this video, of how calm and genuine u both are.

[@artmariemakes]

I would rather get hit by a bus then talk to any of my exes again but I like seeing exes talking in such a productive way.

[@melissaruiz3768]

Marie lol yup

[@ola3rd]

Damnnnnnn 😂

[@JungleYT]

LMMFAO

[@Tanyalasagnaa]

nothing but facts 🤣

[@iKidrauhlsWifey]

Then I feel like you should probably consider it more before you get in a relationship with someone. You need to have strong foundations before you make such decisions.

[@BriiRosayy]

There’s all these self-help IG people saying DO NOT REACH OUT TO YOUR EX DURING QUARANTINE 😂 Shan:

[@shanboody]

in truth you probably shouldn't reach out to any ex unless there's a lot of time between you. This conversation was only able to be productive because the goal was moving forward, we are both well aware there is nothing to go back for. This exercise in general is all about that, reaching out to an ex if you think it can help you move on to being better prepared for the next relationship, it should not be used as an attempt to see if there's a future in the past. I should have really clarified that Trigga thanks for bringing that up

[@BriiRosayy]

Shan BOODY Would you still recommend it while in a committed - married - monogamous relationship? (Like what you are currently in). I guess my follow up question is why do you care about the views of your EX now all of a sudden? Bec there’s downtime and it makes for great content? Or bec you genuinely want to see how that person viewed you?

[@Those.who.stay.silent.consent]

@@BriiRosayy It showed her, (and by proxy her husband and her ancient lover) how FAR she came. Hearing about 19 y.o Shan had my jaw dropping because a part from being a free soul, they have almost nothing in common (as far as the Shan i know and follow since YEARS now). I did this exercise with my Ex when I turned my big 30 (now 32) We were 10 months away from our civil wedding and we had our Muslim wedding already, when he was 23 and I was 19.. So turning my back from my own decision made out of love, take my shit to go and become a doctor on the opposite side of the world might have been a ballsy moove from former me, and all ended well for me but.. "Now", 30 y.o me had so many questions without answers, and I felt I owed him some too. I wanted to ease his hurt if he had any, answer unanswered questions, take out any doubts, prove him what I said at 19 was the truth and still stands today.. Also as a "gift " for him, and to tell him formerly THANK YOU for making me a badass African lady who travels the world to help others now, that my crazy dream job became a reality and he has something to do with it. I'm today who I'm, greatly because I met him in my formative years. Even if people think they became great on their own, it is never the case. We are the sum of all the love, all the people and all the hurt we accumulated, met and grew , or surmounted, during key parts of our personal evolution. We are who we are because of our lovers, friends, tormentors, hardships, bad decisions , good decisions etc. Shan you are a fucking stellar human being. You evolution made my heart happy

[@dlizzy3835]

Trigga did you really expect her to respond to you when you phrased your questions so antagonistically? And didn't she cover all of that in the video. Did this strike a nerve for you?

[@BriiRosayy]

D Lizzy She responded the first time lol or did you not look at the comments?

[@naijalayday1500]

It's probably most useful to interview your most MATURE ex lol. Some ex's are still bitter af and cant be objective

[@naijalayday1500]

also being able to discuss without a party feeling the need to rekindle

[@shanboody]

Excellent point

[@anbillie]

Bitter as fuck .. or just done? Some people just dont want your recycled bs.

[@naijalayday1500]

@@anbillie Bitter as fuck.

[@soldaliberdade13]

definitely - someone emotionally mature, who maybe is in a balanced, healthy place ? :)

[@nunyabidness380]

Id rather mop the ocean than talk to my ex, but good for you shan for being so mature!!

[@Kyethecreator]

Hiooxo28 Streamer 😂

[@nunyabidness380]

KYE THE CREATOR i cant even swim 😂😂

[@jelisesantana2303]

Hiooxo28 Streamer 😂😂

[@Kyethecreator]

@@nunyabidness380 lmao damn, hats deep........Well thank you for pretty much putting into words how my ex probably feels about me.

[@BriiRosayy]

Being mature and being a content creator are very different things

[@fuzzbuzz6859]

Ovan seems lovely, articulate, handsome and both great communicators!

[@QQueen30]

Her reaction when he asked if she had taken the love languages test!! Wow he really has no idea what she's been up to since college lol

[@loria287]

As he should. The only person who has been checking up on him and Even dedicating a passage in their book to him is her. That man clearly respected her and loved her and she was on some other shit. He moved on, is happy doesn’t even check in on her to see what she’s doing and that’s healthy of him. Hopefully Shannon will officially move on after this conversation, because she seems very stuck in the past. He said she was an asshole, doesn’t remember being engaged to her, and didn’t get the proper relationship ending yet she’s still stuck on him. Anddd anddd she was making fun of that man calling him denthead. He doesn’t remember much good just all the negative which says a lot about her. She asked if he remembered their song that man said no but I remember you calling me denthead. She said that was wrong and still didn’t apologize to that man on camera only during the rolling credits. Her other ex said the same thing that she was rude and blunt

[@priscilla_4766]

Lori Anne um she said it herself that she was rude and blunt and acknowledges that. she is clearly over him just because she remembers more doesn’t mean anything and yeah she might’ve been the toxic one in the relationship but she is self aware of that. have you not seen her with her husband? i’m pretty sure she is well over this guy...

[@loria287]

pri i stated myself that she said those things. I even said what came out of her mouth in regards to her other exs. My statements came directly from her so where are you going with this? nobody said she wasn’t over him romantically. What I stated is she’s living in the past even wrote a passage in her NEWEST book that she shouted him out in and the man didn’t even read the book nor care. She also credited him in her first book and again he wasn’t aware because HE DOES NOT CHECK ON HER. She is stuck on him that does not mean romantically. Hopefully this was what she needed to officially move fwd from this situation.

[@shanboody]

Lori Anne it’s bizarre that at this point many of you don’t understand what I do for a living and how I’ve chosen to do it. At my core I’m a writer and storyteller it’s what I first went to College for. My first book LAID in 2009 was a vicarious learners approach to sex Ed. I wrote about my first sexual experience there and since then I’ve gone on to share countless stories, some from others and some my own. Even my latest book 10 years later followed that formula: real people and real, vulnerable stories that people can learn from and see bits of themselves reflected in. I began my work as an educator inspired by fiction books and TV shows that got people invested in the message through characters, and stories but the flaw was that it was fake and often had no real-life takeaway. What I’ve always done is use my experiences and stories to inform and inspire individual growth. This channel is not a diary, I share what I think my audience can see value in, I use my experiences, education, resources and things I’ve learned from others (in most cases my audience) in my work. You’re welcome to interact with my content however you please, I’m grateful honestly either way, but to me it’s a great disservice to yourself to look at my content to try to find me - I’m really not all that exciting. I share what I think could be exciting or inciting for others. If you’re interested in me as a person the best place to look is my Instagram stories.

[@OnyxxRose]

She’s an Aries sometime we can come of ass blunt assholes but from our perspective we just being brutally honest kind of like a kid but growth. You live and learn 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@ceeceelove2387]

This probably sounds weird, but Shan seems like such a great communicator 😩😩

[@christinarouse1209]

PurplePoplickle why does that sound weird. Why do people introduce their statements by invalidating what they’re about to say.

[@Exotixa]

@@christinarouse1209 Exactly!

[@Nicreb]

she is a great communicator and it doesn't sound weird 👍🏽

[@Venus-pd3ml]

How is that weird

[@Iamniko__]

LOL THIS IS HER JOB.

[@verilettu]

Can you do a video how the heck you've become such a great communicator, you can articulate your feelings in such ease and in a really assertive but warm way!!

[@shanboody]

Practice, reading, studying to greats and getting constant feedback from all of you. Plus years of speech therapy!

[@juniperpunch7751]

@@shanboody you're an inspiration!!!!😭❤❤❤❤

[@SharmyyBarmyy]

@@shanboody I was going to ask why did you have speech therapy, then I realized what I actually wanted to know was can anybody engage with speech therapy? (I'm under the assumption that only those with a specific need can)

[@JessicaAkAAdiz]

Did she ever mention why she started speech therapy?

[@queenbronx3153]

My ex is a narcissist so I could never do one of these with him

[@Jeannette03]

Same girl! The past is the past

[@tayashley3539]

I feel you. Never ever. The thought of it makes my stomach turn flips.

[@heyitsjujuu]

Yep. Blame blame. Is a kid. Asks for money, car, and drinks.

[@openheartsavagemind6443]

My ex was a narcissist too. It ended with me putting a restraining order against him. It was bad.

[@EllePlowPlow]

Gurl, me too! Crazy thing, if my ex wasn’t a Narcissist I would do this just to see what helpful advice might come of it. But not with a Narcissist. Nope, he would make everything out to be my fault and him the angel when in fact he was the abuser and me the victim.

[@thabiisoso]

If HurtBae was more mature, the video would’ve turned out like this ♥️♥️

[@DaniielaVergara]

Tabs both parts need to be mature. The guy was just an asshole

[@richellec1632]

Hurt bae was too recent for them. It’s been YEAAARS Shannon and her ex

[@poutymouf]

Tabs, completely invalid but do you sis! 💕

[@henshawosong5469]

It has nothing to do with maturity. Pain and maturity has nothing to do with each other. People develope ptsd from relationships that affect them forever

[@joannaw2745]

He’s gorgeous and to now he’s faithful and sensitive makes him more attractive.

[@meganmarino2012]

@BlackDrum ...so?

[@charliedonescia]

I love Shan’s intelligence & maturity!

[@ninag3068]

Hey I was so happy to see you as a coach in TOO HOT TO HANDLE, good work Shan!!

[@dolledupdani]

Same my bf was like “do you know her?” I was like yeeaaah kinda 😆

[@zorriexoxo]

i love that he asked her if she’s ever taken the 5 love languages test 😅

[@Srklover17]

z.georgieva men am i right??! She’s a relationship and sex expert but if he asks her is she has ever taken e Quiz. 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@EllePlowPlow]

Such a cringe moment.

[@faithfuljohn]

@@EllePlowPlow why is it cringe? He clearly has no idea what she's been doing and that's it. He wasn't talking down to her. He just wanted to make sure she understood why her words meant a lot to him (and to avoid confusion). It was funny, but no one needs to get embarrassed. Now... if he had started to over-explain... that's a different issue

[@jessjustreacts]

faithfuljohn 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

[@mleekahh]

I CLICKED SO FAST WHEN I SAW THE TITLE. ***this is so therapeutic

[@KtotheB1218]

He’s so sweet and handsome. I mean the sweetest. Such a gentle spirit

[@annachristine3187]

When you said the relationship with him feels like an award/gift I truly felt that. This feels so similar to my relationship with my ex. He made me feel confident,secure, and we had such a fun time together. Whole relationship felt like honeymoon stage. I would love to sit down and ask him how he felt about me. I love this vid, thanks for sharing Shan!!

[@sistersalima6829]

Oww why did you break up if I may ask

[@annachristine3187]

Tiffany Serina we broke up bc I really needed to do some work on myself by myself, I was just out of a relationship when we met and I needed time to deal with that breakup. I couldn’t do that and give him everything he needed

[@sistersalima6829]

Anna Christine thanks for sharing your story. I guess the right person at the wrong time is still the wrong person. Good luck on your journey, it’s a beautiful road

[@ladidodi8912]

This was very interesting. But I must say, this makes me realize how more emotionally intense and jarring it is to speak to an ex best friend. When Shan spoke to hers, my heart was beating super fast and it felt more nerve racking.

[@dajag50]

Yes, I met up with an ex bestfriend and it was just a bit awkward and anxiety filled. It was good afterwards but it was just very different.

[@nevaehabutler844]

Ovan seems so genuine and kind-hearted!🙌💙

[@justSymiah]

Whewww hit hard when she said “ do you feel like there is anything i owe you an apology for” ... that’s deep and so open & vulnerable on both ends . On her end , being vulnerable and open enough ask for criticism and be willing to apologize , and on his end ,being vulnerable enough to share and be honest . Love the open conversation that ultimately helps self reflection and self growth ! This is powerful & revolutionary for love lives Shan !!! Keep it going 💪🏽💪🏽❤️❤️

[@nnanijolie]

I would like to have a constructive conversation with the person I am currently with...

[@andaiibori7205]

???

[@nnanijolie]

Update, I actually spoke with my Ex (with the same context) and after deep reflection I think my current is afraid of losing and that’s what is losing me.

[@loudandiknowit]

:(

[@lindahkjsithole4785]

I can relate wt you

[@NathalieKings]

Wow! It's crazy to watch this video knowing that roughly 3 years ago I did this with my ex-boyfriend, specifically my highschool sweetheart. One afternoon we hung out, strictly as friends and I low-key interviewed him about our relationship. To keep it short, it was such an amazing experience to be able to openly chat it up with a past lover. This video was everything I wanted it to be and more! I love you Shannon!

[@shanboody]

I’m so glad it worked out well for you and thanks for the love oxo

[@angelsmokee]

Big yes on making it a series! It's so interesting to see what people remember, what hurt them,what they liked about us exc.. because sometimes the other person doesn't even know!

[@whisperywind8768]

your hair looks fire Shannon

[@TheSamanthaEdit]

This was such a beautifully intelligent, adult, powerful conversation! It was really refreshing to watch! Ovan has a really kind spirit. It shined through in this video.

[@valeriegee4840]

Girl, but what lipstick are you using?? Love the vibrant blood orange!

[@ta-ku5914]

Big ups my man Ovan, definitely giving him a follow

[@shanboody]

That’s super cool of you Taku

[@MsDragontooth]

I love seeing ex's helping each other to grow and move forward instead of blind and misguided resentment. Communication can be such a powerful tool if all people try to be reflective, honest and mature. I also love that you and Jared are so secure in your marriage to allow for this kind of conversations.

[@PermanentHigh]

That's stupid. You had all the time in the relationship to do that. You clowns are living backwards. That's the entire purpose of a relationship. You partner up with someone against life and you support each other and help each other grow. Post breakup is not the time for any of these conversations.

[@MsDragontooth]

@@PermanentHigh i disagree often people grow after a break up especially if it's a long time ago so they gain new insights and perspectivs. Why should you not try to learn from that and have a conversation when you both are more mature to see your wrongs? Sometimes we're not even aware of what went wrong and use that information to build a new relationship.

[@PermanentHigh]

@@MsDragontooth If what you say is true, then use your newfound insight and be a better person for your next partner. That partner you treated like trash in the past, that relationship is over. Move on. Now is not the time for conversation. You gave them your worst and now you just want to talk and tell them how much better you are now, a better you they will never get to experience in an intimate relationship. You had your chance and you fucked it up. You don't deserve any conversation.

[@MsDragontooth]

@@PermanentHigh i don't think that every relationship ends that dramatically or is that clean cut on who's the "bad guy". You don't need to do something like this if you don't want to but judging others for wanting to use every opportunity to grow is not it either.

[@queenvee9729]

To my ex, I'm sorry... I'm sorry that I met you 😔... I'm sorry that I let you violate my soul.

[@Cravenn5]

This video truly affirms the love of monogamy❣️True love where it meets the depth of another’s soul.~ without the frequency of others. He’s seems to be an amazing man his wife is a fortunate women!

[@queenlyzzye1]

I’d rather jump across a snake den than speak to my toxic exes!! One was a complete manipulator the other was a narcissist! Neither deserve me or my words. 🙄🙄

[@mssimone7147]

I feel you!

[@4islandbeauty]

I'd rather speak to my exes in the given scenario as I have a phobia of snakes.

[@aznpridebuhhd]

This was so insightful! I love the honesty and maturity in this conversation. Ever since you first mentioned it, I’ve been considering calling my ex and asking him where my shortcomings were. As I’m now in a long-term relationship with a great partner, of course I want to better myself.

[@MaiyaJade]

Damn you are such a BOSS!!!! this is so DEEP! the maturity and growth of this conversation is unbelievable!

[@elenastefanova5371]

it's so amazing how you're both able to communicate all those things that went down in your relationship and it's so inspiring that you're able to reflect and be grateful for the experience

[@chessc.3407]

“When we can understand our past we can control more of our future” that’s a powerful and true statement that once we get it and apply it, our lives become better in so many levels. I’m SO Loving you and what you continue to bring. I wish/ hope young people are also listening in.

[@molly8070]

Yeah I communicated with my ex and we ended back together again and we’ve been together a few years now

[@shanboody]

how has it been the second time around?

[@molly8070]

Shan BOODY it has been great I feel like we are able to communicate more and we try to stay open minded to each other’s wants and needs. There feels like more emotion overall versus us being more closed off before

[@BriiRosayy]

A trauma bond or an authentic one? How much time had passed between your break up and reconnection..?

[@moroccanmecrazy]

I panicked at 1st when he couldn't remember the name of the song or the fact that you were "engaged" and I thought he was going to be the bitter resentful ex but I couldn't be more wrong. I credit your communication skills and your willingness to clear out the past to turn the whole thing into a positive experience. It was awesome to see how relieved he was that you truly cared for him-giving him that closure. I am not going to contact my ex but I'll write a letter forgiving him and forgiving myself (I'll burn the letter after).

[@shanboody]

I like that plan!

[@ladidodi8912]

This was so heartwarming❤❤❤. Men don't seem to get compliments or thank you's as much as I use to think. He genuinely was grateful.

[@dimpledarling55]

This is a level of maturity (both on Shan's part and his wife's part) that I PRAY to have one day 😂 Absolutely loved this. Such a good example of what this can look like ❤️

[@bryantda117]

I’m the type of person who chooses to not communicate with my ex’s. Maybe I’m not mature enough, or maybe it’s better for my mental health! I have one ex who our relationship ended terribly. He still reaches out at least once a year... I assume to just see how I am. Smh

[@lstarsabb]

I had to learn that the hard. I'm the type that wants to see the good in people so invite ex's or ex partners back in my life to have them shit on me again. Even tho it will help not be so hard on my life sometimes it's best to let the bruise be a scare instead of trying to get rid of it all together. Now if I do reach out it's because I know whatever they say won't affect me. One of my ex's out of nowhere actually told responsibility in our last fallout and that was a surprise to me. And I actually started talking to the fist guy to ever lead me on and called him out for it at least 3 times lol (unfortunately it wasn't the last time) and i learn that he was struggling with his parents divorce and just couldn't care and that gave me the closer i never knew i needed.

[@jannelchavez8551]

I’m sorry but “denthead jingle” killed me 😂😂😂

[@BelanceM]

Aww this video was cute. I seen healing. I feel like it was a pleasant surprise. And im sorry shan looks back and sees it wasnt as peachy as she remembers. So as she added color to his memory of them. He kinda neutralized hers. But im happy he now understands her and that she even felt happy with him. And became THE shannon boodram due to his support. This was really warm

[@these.twenty.somethings]

Dang if you remember the positive you were probably the negative person 😭

[@esikazemese]

Well if my ex was just 50% this great.... This was hearhwarming! Owen is a great guy!

[@endershepard7117]

Do I ever cross your mind, anytime? Do you ever wake up reaching out for me Do I ever cross your mind, anytime? I miss you 😂

[@JustBeREAL1st]

Ender Shepard Brian McKnight lol

[@endershepard7117]

JustBeREAL what can I say. I love that song, lol. And it’s the first thing that came to my mind when I read the title to Shan’s vid and saw the thumbnail.

[@bryantda117]

My favorite song! Lol let me go listen to it real quick.

[@mainadahlia2292]

@@bryantda117 could you enlighten me please ? 😅

[@endershepard7117]

Andrea all of us who have a - The One That Got Away Story. Can relate to that song. 😭😂 kzbin.info/www/bejne/fZWqqohsodSke8k

[@isa-qz8fg]

He is such a stand up guy!

[@valerie4912]

This would be cool to do with one specific ex. Crazy thing though, after 8 years of being together, breaking up and living in the same small city we have never ran into one another! I’m inspired.

[@uwanaibanga9488]

this should definitely be a series!! if anything I'm kind of researching your content to find the words to healthily break ties with my soon to be ex.

[@KhanyiTamana]

Please make this a series, it was so beautiful to see you and your ex just trading memories and being lighthearted and jovial. Continue on with your good work lady. ❤️😘😘

[@hollaatthekid1796]

I been married sooooo long, my exes were sooooo young, we were basically kids. I know we are so much different from then its been marriages, and for them kids, sooo I dont see how this would be productive for me? Basically anything they did I forgave them for a long time ago.

[@karrionnsmith]

Shan Booooooooooody,. The poise, the grace and maturity.

[@woman7243]

I can't wait to have a conversation like this with my recent ex! We broke up about 5 months ago. Although it's not time to speak right now, I know that we will speak to each other again. I've been doing great without talking, but it's fragile and I need time. Both of us, really. He still means a lot to me. Thank you for this! It inspires me!

[@Cosmicgrrl]

I saw myself in this relationship, and I now see myself in the you today and I am so glad I found your channel !! Thank you so much for this.

[@toyatv9130]

I love the transparency, honesty & freeness of this conversation. People are so scared nowadays to look to their past to learn & grow. Thanks for making the abnormal ordinary ❤️ PS: in the middle of reading Game of Desire

[@toomuchEva]

You’re such a big person to be able to do this. And it’s wonderful to see you give time and space to Ovan to share his experience and thoughts. Actually, both of you are wonderful! It’s so good to watch you discuss sometimes difficult topics.

[@sabahfirdous1742]

I have never seen someone with "the most intelligent and good looking exes". All of your exes could be my future partner. Each one of them is fine as wine. And you are amazing. This shows how two people could be so incredible and still not make it as a couple. Thanks for this Shannon.

[@brooklynjusae9570]

Would have this conversation with the most recent ex? (The one from the valentines video). I know that was a roller coaster love for you and that’s how I feel about my most recent ex. I think it’d be challenging but awesome to see how y’all navigate through it.

[@shanboody]

I actually did reach out to him at the top of the year to say I accept the past and am working on not feeling resentful towards it. Probably at this time that's as far as we can go, but maybe in a few years we can get here.

[@brooklynjusae9570]

Shan BOODY thank you for responding!

[@theetravelhippie]

Shannnnn!! GIRL ! Your book is DOPE, I’m half way through it and already don’t want it to end. I also want my boyfriend to read it

[@shanboody]

Thank you thank you x a million I appreciate you

[@donnallycaia]

Damn, girl. I recorded myself singing Ordinary People for my ex. This just brought back some MEMORIES. WHOO-lawd! This was a fun interaction to watch

[@Caellion]

I don't know if im doing good, but i never talk to my exes. For me its always a bad idea.

[@venus3923]

Pan Powell treacherous idea

[@Kariberri208]

I believe it depends on how it ended. I haven’t ended on bad terms with any of mine, and they always hit me up to chat or to check on me and vice versa.

[@Caellion]

@@venus3923 why?

[@Caellion]

@@Kariberri208 I dont say that its a bad or good idea to talk with ex.. i just dont do it. For me its no good not only when i do that. Last year my girlfriend start talking with her ex and later she told me that she dont love me and we cant be together. I dont know how would it be when she wouldnt be talk to her ex but this make an inpact on our relationship..

[@cwash007]

Love the adult interaction and exchange. Kudos to you both for the growth and vulnerability expressed. It was nice (but unfortunate) seeing the 'it wasn't just you, i am non-monogamous even years later' revelation and the load it provided to him. The 'unfortunate' part being wondering where this aspect has played out in subsequent years in evaluating his worth. Kudos again...

[@cfox6549]

This was nice. I actually did this with one of my exes last year. It was mature n informative. We both apologize for things. We were friends before we got in the relationship but he was so hurt by me ending things he refuse to deal with me after for years. That hurt because I had hoped we could be friends when it was over. We are cool now

[@C2G2]

I’m in love with Shan’s hair 🥰 😍

[@ItsTimara]

It’s so funny bc everyone is like I’d rather get my toes cut off than talk to my ex but some how still happy Shan is talking to hers 😂😂💜 & I feel the SAME way

[@swpdisciple]

Oh wow she’s a former athlete. Very nice.

[@4islandbeauty]

Ovan seems like a well rounded and wholesome individual. You're both bold and mature for doing this as well as your respective partners because I could never, especially on a public platform.

[@dolledupdani]

Oooh hunny just them first couple of words I feel personally attacked lol, going through it with my SO right now, we haven’t said the words but he got mad at me and kicked me out during a global pandemic. I recognize his feelings and I’m sorry he’s hurting but he didn’t want to hear any reasoning of mine he just want to turn up on me. So I left and two days later he’s begging me to come back and I’m just like wtf?! 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@dolledupdani]

Well not that I’ve finished this video I wish life was this open minded cause right now I’m living with this type of mindset on my own (starting to look at it more as an affliction), this channel and Shannon are one of the rare incidences where my mindset and lifestyle are openly accepted and understood! Like what do you even call people who love in that way? Thank you Yes call it the “EX-Files!” Lol @shanboody

[@jasminedwyer4323]

Danielle Haugabrook Omg girl I’m so sorry you’re going through that. ❤️ You will work it out hopefully! 🙏🏽

[@kinkidot9692]

Don’t go back to someone who would leave you alone and defenceless in the middle of a pandemic!!

[@amandahopkins7437]

My favorite part is when he asked Shan if she took the love language quiz and she humbly just said yes lol but the look on her face was hilarious.

[@nikkit2393]

Omg I only have 2 exes and I’m okay with not talking to any of them. The first bc Idk where they are and I’m okay with that, (I’ve done a lot of self reflection.) The other one, I think we’ve basically already had this conversation & re opening that dialogue would be interpreted as me moving my boundaries and him thinking he has another chance (he doesn’t) and then we’ll be down the rabbit hole lol but good luck to those of y’all who reach out to your exes!! I hope it goes as well and mature as this video 😌

[@liv6316]

Even if it ended I would love to have a partner like yours. I just don’t think I would ever regret anything given how you two are talking in this video after everything.

[@kivigray0423]

😂 Ovan has forgotten so much! 😂😂😂

[@aliya24]

I'm loving a mature conversation between exes. I can't think of an ex that I actually still respect.

[@SmartAlex53190]

My fellow Coppinite We were prob there at the same time its a shocker we never met!!! Im very proud of you and your success!!! Keep up the great work!!!!! I even enjoyed your Yoni coaching session on this netflix series i watched!!!!!

[@majaf4105]

for a minute I thought you were going to have that discussion with your toxic ex Ovan seems like such a nice guy anyway Shan, you inspire me so much thanks for all the work that you’re doing, I understand myself so much better because of you keep up the amazing work

[@Thisguyecm]

Yes this is a dope way to heal traumas or misunderstandings

[@misswiggie770]

Series? Yes please! I've learned so much from watching both you and Jared test out this theory of learning from past relationships, by discussing them, because they definitely shape who we are in all relationships moving forward.

[@kennedywhitehead4332]

This would be an amazing series, super interesting. I love seeing people self reflect, I hope this happens!

[@Ana_Lev]

Please please use eye contact when you apologise. Great video as usual. Congratulations on your pregnancy! X

[@thanksinadvance.]

I would LOVE to see a series of this. Also, do you ever wonder if someof your actions/behaviours during your early relationships were inspired/caused by your parent's relationship? This is something I would like to find out about myself too...

[@rebekahrebekah8516]

YES MORE VIDEOS LIKE THIS PLEASE! Just watching this inspired me to do this myself someday and I love the open honest communication

[@iamgraci_]

I love how he asked if you knew the 5 love languages hahahaha

[@janiceharrell4260]

It's important to make that revisit of a past relationship reminding ourselves to check our egos at the door first. The conversation should be to frist and foremost ask forgiveness for any wrong you may have caused. If you forget to do that you may have been more interested in your own needs. Being present in a conversation with someone we are or have been intimate with always includes all parties involved. If that is something you forget to do it may be because you didn't revisit for a more selfish motive. Be present and make room for other people to matter. Healing...

[@ChezzaOuttaNowhere]

I love talking to my exes, I’m pretty detached and aware in retrospect so I appreciate these convos. I loved this video.

[@Edd1148.]

The ending song is Jared's Enjoy Ya Life and it is a BOP!

[@Iamniko__]

I would love to see you bringing together internet famous couples or couples in general to talk like this. I think it would be super interesting, but I know many people aren’t willing to.

[@user-iv7qo6dm5f]

It's cute how he was closed in the beginning and then you managed to break the ice and he opened up a lot.

[@BeingTiffany]

This was very healing and amazing and i don't even have an ex to look back on but I'm sure it'll help me in dating moving forward. I have the same birthday as you, Shan, and just like you I don't easily see the thin line between teasingly flirting vs bullying and it's def something I need to work on...

[@sovereignnorris7469]

the title of this VIDEO had me

[@reneedaniel7734]

I love this! I’m a huge fan of learning from past relationships, they happened for a reason right? My exes and I are still on good terms so I can definitely see having this conversation with them. I love when people can evolve and still acknowledge the good and bad in past situations. It’s so beautiful 👏🏼

[@deniseparker3359]

Literally about to message my exes to see what I could have done better in a relationship

[@NannyDiaries23]

Denise Parker that’s brave! Good luck

[@Lawrence_Femi_Ikenna_Odedina]

This woman has balls of steel. NEVER in my LIFE would I even THINK about talking to my ex again

[@diannalovesfood]

I want conversations like this but the people I was involved (friends and partners) with likely wouldn't be down for it. Maybe I should try in a few more years...

[@ForeverLovingBeauty]

I love this video Shan! I felt like I was experiencing second hand healing just listening to you both. This was also reassuring for me as I am 20 years old and realized that I was the negative person in my 4 year long relationship. It’s been a difficult pill to swallow but hearing your story gives me hope that I’ll learn, grow & have better relationships with people in the future. ❤️

[@queenvee9729]

This is maturity. 👏 for both of you

[@Once.A.Violet]

Definitely make it a series . Bring ppl together especially black men and women . At times I believe we don’t think we can love and respect eachother unless we’re romantically involved .

[@jaazzybabyy]

I love this so much. Some people might think it’s uncomfortable but I think these conversations are so important to have in order to grow. Not only to grow within our relationships, but for growth within yourself. These are people who know us better than we know ourselves sometimes and have had significant impacts on our lives. So hearing our wrongs and and the positive aspects of ourselves are very enlightening to hear

[@victoriagutscher7685]

How soon is too soon to talk to an ex and learn from it in a healthy way?

[@itsaplantlife9850]

I'd do it with my first love that taught me to speak when upset, and similarly had the friendship and was ring engaged in college with 2 years together, but I reached out 15ish years ago to see how he was and my sweet boy turned into an asshole man. Well, at least I learned that when my others tried to shut me up that that wasn't love.