I Called Off My Wedding After Discovering My Fiancé's Group Chat Where He and His Friends Degrade...

[@gregorycottone6288]

Story 1: " my wife and kids are more important than you." *saying that to his child* 😅

[@MegaHarvickFan29]

Story 1: Dad really is a spineless coward. Blaming op, who was a literal baby then, for not having a relationship with him? Now stepmommy and half siblings are boycotting the rest of the family because they are talking to OP. Sounds like we all know who the extended family like and prefer more 👀. OP was under no obligation to offer him the privilege of walking her down the aisle and he still throws it away. Him and his 'religious' wife and spawn aren't good people. I highly doubt the extended family will be that broken up anout them going NC.

[@jdavis7613]

Story 2: This is not the kind of person you marry. Copy everything and send it to yourself, then delete his history. Move out. See a lawyer and police. Make sure all other friends and family know what is being said in the chat.

[@nick-brothwood]

"Now stepmommy and half siblings are boycotting the rest of the family because they are talking to OP." So the trash is taking itself out then?

[@Stessia_topaz]

that's what you call selective Christians, where they use the bible for their own benefit.

[@andreavanhoof6047]

Story 1: I hope that you went no contact with your mom and to go no contact with your dad permanently! I am glad that Aunt Sandy told off her father for being such an ass and that her MIL said that he needed to grow some balls! Dad has a lot of nerve for blaming OP for his vile actions, words, and behavior! May you and your husband have a blessed and happy marraige! Story 2: Do not marry this narcissist; you saw no red flags because he made sure that you did not see it. This is God's way of saving you from a toxic false toxic marriage. He is telling you that your potential husband is not worthy of you; please listen!

[@Rogue_Centurion]

In story 3, I’m in a similar situation as the OP. My family is pretty well off, but not like crazy rich. But I don’t have access to barely any of it. All of the money I currently have in my possession I had to work for. I never tell others about my family’s money because it’s none of their business

[@Arkryal]

Relatable. There are two people who know my net-worth (not counting the IRS). Me, and my Accountant, lol. It's no one else's business. I grew up in a poor family initially. Real ghetto type place. When my parents sold their first house, it sold for a mere $20,000, less than the price of the cheapest new car on the market. That's the kind of dive it was, and it sat on the market for 10 years. But my parents worked their asses off and saved and invested, and took advice from good advisors, and built relationships with people who were themselves well off, to learn from their example. Now they're worth a few million. This went down while I was growing up, so I saw both ends of the spectrum. The poor think the wealthy look down on them, or are exploitively keeping them down. That's not generally the case. There are cases like that, but it's rare. The truth is some families, often due to circumstances beyond their control, will remain poor and really cannot get ahead. Your industry collapses. A family member has a chronic illness, drug addiction, gambling addiction, etc. And some people just don't have what it takes to be high earners. The only way they will get there is through luck. So there's a lot of resentment for those who don't have to struggle as much. But that doesn't mean people who succeed didn't work their asses off for it and make a lot of sacrifices to get there. I live by the rule "Invest 40% of my income, and spend 3 hours a week learning more about money and investment strategies". And I recognize I could not do that if I was making $40k a year, working two jobs. Just getting to the point where you can make those commitments is a struggle (as in eating a lot of toast for dinner), and until that is overcome, it's hard to get ahead at all. And even then, it takes years (10+ at least) to really gain momentum. OP's boyfriend was a fool. First when he was offered a job, he should have taken it. Even if it's just $15/hr (or whatever minimum wage is in his area), doing 20 hours a week after school. So that's ~$15k (taxes don't even factor in at that level). More than enough for him to max out a Roth IRA tracking the S&P. And if he started doing that at 16, he won't be "rich" any time soon, but by his mid 20s, he'd be financially stable. And that's plenty of time for him to go from nothing to an 850 credit score if he just doesn't act stupid with credit cards and loans. He has to build himself up, but he's making the mistake of just waiting for wealth to fall into his lap. By the time he figures that out for himself, he'll have missed out on so many years of interest accumulation that he's screwing himself over. And I bet OP's parents would have given him great advice in this area. If he had asked them for such advice, they'd have respected the hell out of him. They will not look down on him, they will admire his drive. I think there's also an element of "The man should make more". He doesn't want a hand-out, but he can't have a girlfriend who makes more than him either. That's so stupid, lol. I would love a woman who makes more than me. Not because I want or need her money, but because I like to keep my own money, and the expectation for men to financially support their partners, while antiquated, is still very prevalent. There's a lot of paradoxical women who are "independent" and still expect someone else to pay their rent, lol. Just to be free of all that nonsense is an incredible boon. And to encounter such a woman under the age of 40 these days... Hallelujah, that's a jackpot win. This kid had a self-sufficient woman who loves him, a job offer, opportunities, probable financial mentorship from her successful business owner parents, and he pisses it away for pride and a tank of gas, lol. He's so fixated on what he doesn't have that he doesn't realize all the great things he does have. OP can do so much better.

[@Arkryal]

Story #2 Yes, in most areas, sharing sexually explicit image/videos of a partner without their consent is a crime. It can land you on the sex-offender registry. That being said, it is very hard to prosecute criminally. The accused often claims they were given consent, and it was retracted after a bad fight or break-up to "punish them". That's a weak defense, but it does clear the standard of "reasonable doubt". However, the prosecutor will likely offer a deal, lesser charges for a guilty plea that keep him off the registry, but still comes with heavy fines, probation etc. It's more actionable as a civil suit. Disseminating those images can cause harm to a person's reputation, career, etc. Suing him could be more effective. He's 24, so I doubt he has many assets to seize unless he's some trust-fund kid. More likely he has a lot of student loan debts, lol. All the better. The awarded amounts will cripple him financially for years. You won't get rich on it, but 10 years from now when he has to explain to his new wife that they can't buy a house because his FICO score is 600, and his wages are garnished to service a court settlement or award and she asks "for what"... in that scenario he'll lie his ass off, but it will be a very awkward conversation nonetheless. The people in the comments keep saying "he doesn't love or respect her". I think the truth is the exact opposite. He does. He just doesn't love or respect himself (hence the cuck fetish). This just sounds like a guy who is deeply insecure. He's got a girl who he loves, so he needs to brag about her (sexually), but at the same time demean her to make himself look like the more desirable of the two of them. Absolutely nobody else will see it that way, everyone sees him for the small, petty, fragile man he is. But he thinks his bullshit is respected. He's not doing this to hurt her (even if it ultimately does), he's doing it to feel better about his own shortcomings, not even realizing that this behavior is at the very top of his list of flaws. Good News / Bad News for OP. The good news is, in my experience, guys like this are rare. Maybe one in two hundred. But that's still common enough that we all know a guy like this. We've all had that coworker or friend of a friend who has to whip out his phone and show you pictures of their latest conquest. It's obnoxious. It's precisely because most men do not engage in this that they think it's even something to boast about. It's like they're keeping score, and because every other guy is more discreet and doesn't announce and brag about every encounter, they think they're winning, lol. That means he's likely shown these pictures/videos to a LOT more people than that group chat. I'm sure they're online in some forum or adult site by now, and probably watched a hundred thousand times. But the people who have seen it who know OP also likely don't give a shit. They roll their eyes and give him a generic "Yeah dude, good for you" (which in a text doesn't really convey the tone of complete disinterest that it would if they said in in real life). But that is how most guys deal with dudes like him. "Yeah, that's cool" (just enough validation for them to piss off and leave us alone). That may not be the most constructive way to deal with it, but telling them what they want to hear is usually the shortest path to them leaving. At the end of the day, OP is an adult, in an adult relationship, doing what people in adult relationships do. There's no shame is sex, and nobody who is intellectually mature will judge you for it. If I were in OP's position, I would actually be more troubled by the Pro/Con list. While it was pretty tame, the implications of even having such a list speak volumes of his character. It implies he's weighing a decision about OP's value, AND that decision is predicated on some pretty shallow criteria. It demonstrates that his actions were not just some sexual fetish or compulsion, and he really is just that slimy of a person. I'm glad she's leaving, and hope she retains legal counsel and files a police report (and since he wants to play it so immaturely, tattle to his mommy too, lol).

[@MegaHarvickFan29]

Story 3: He doesn't know about my parent's other assets and how much money we make. Uhhhhh, why should he? He's a 16 year old highschool boyfriend and brat. All of that is literally NONE of his business. What an entitled, greedy SOB.

[@MegaHarvickFan29]

Secondly, it's her parent's money, not hers to give out

[@SenatiaA]

@@MegaHarvickFan29That’s the point right there. She has nothing except what her parents give her.

[@Afrogirrl]

Mike grew up poor and struggling for money, I don’t know why it’s such a shock that he values money a lot more than the average person.

[@MegaHarvickFan29]

@@Afrogirrl There's nothing wrong for someone at his age and situation to have a value and drive for money. What's alarming is his perceived entitlement to said money. He's 16, that's not the most comforting behavior to see at that age.

[@Afrogirrl]

@@MegaHarvickFan29 I think the way he conveyed himself was wrong, but I understand why he was upset.

[@rocmsocem]

Story 3: Dude just had to stay quiet and could have married into a rich family lol

[@rugr82day]

Seriously, her family didn't care that he was broke. There are lower income families that wouldn't want their daughter being with someone struggling in any way.

[@SenatiaA]

Mike was going to rob this girl’s family.

[@swordsandstitches3004]

I’m sorry but 8 years isn’t an old car. My baby is a teenager, mine is 17, almost an adult lol My grandpas old rover is still going on the farm, god knows how old it actually is but it’s minimum 70 years old if not older lol

[@gabinathan5499]

OP INTERNET SISTER I SEND U A SISTERLY HUGS . I ĤAVE A BROTHER WHO HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY PARENT'S GOLDEN CHILD WHO IS EXTREMELY SUCCESSFUL +THEY LOVE HIM BCAUSE HE IS MARRIED+HAS CHILDREN.

[@kgomotsosekonya9435]

My car is 9 years old and acts like its 900. What do people mean 8 years is nothing ?!

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

I drive a 2001 Pontiac Grand Prix GTP. I just rolled my eyes when she said 8yrs old!

[@DebTheDevastator]

My car is 10 years old and drives just fine. If you keep up maintance and actually do research into what you buy. Your car shouldn't be acting like it's 900. Sometimes your dream car isn't great. My first car was 16 years old and had the odometer roll over twice. The person I got it from didn't maintain it as well as they should have, and it showed, but ultimately, that's not why it died. It was totaled by a hit and run. An 8 year old car isn't a bad deal for a 16 year old.

[@asherdales]

Story 1: I dunno why OP tried to reconnect with SD when he made it very clear that he didn't want to be her dad.

[@yourworstnightmare7343]

The boyfriend from the 3rd story absolutley feels entitled to ops money or rather her parents money. He's so mad because he can't believe she wouldn't bail him out & he obviously thinks she is obligated to make his financial worries disappear just coz theyre in a relationship. This is the problem with money, everyone claims they don't care about it or they don't need it but as soon as money becomes a factor, everyone thinks they're more deserving than the next especially when it's someone who theyre connected to in anyways, wealth, just being a good person to the richer class suddenly has conditions attached that should be appreciated in a monetary fashion, a good deed or a favour becomes a service that comes at a cost once the person has knowledge of it. Money makes people poisonous, more so if they have to share someone else's hard earned cash with someone else, even though they've done nothing to get that wealth for themselves, they'll move mountains to get it all to themselves & they'll work harder than they did growing their own wealth, to make sure they gain 100% of someone else's.

[@blue3532]

I read story about partner family who has so much debt and they broke up because she feel betrayed he didnt tell her. The reddit supported her So if you have so much money is better for you to not disclosure it but if you have debt you must tell your SO. Very convinient, huh? But again this is just puppy love. So whatever.

[@lilywong9672]

Debt affects you much differently. So yes, you should know and your partner's debts.

[@SpaceMonkey1900]

It does put you in a similar problemsituation. If you have debts you put your SO in trouble. If you have money you need to be carefull trusting your SO

[@happilyevernever4289]

Because u can give debt to your SO dummy. But yeah. Others finding out how rich U are is not snooping at all. Yet U still can see why OP didn't tell because her bf totally tried to take advantage of her. I'd like to think she should've said her parents are rich but she's not. And the bf should not have been so greedy.

[@KarmaTube5]

Story 1: I hope the dad sees the comments. Spineless coward blaming his first daughter even though she had nothing to do with what he was going through

[@Moleoflands]

Reserving it? Lol, is this guy saying he can't walk all his daughters doen, like literally every other family with multiple daughters in it do?

[@Jargonecius]

"I hate when men discuss their sex lives" I can't tell if this person is a hypocrite or just hasn't been on Reddit long enough because there are plenty of stories that go the other way around.

[@jessik1810]

It's still not ok if you don't have your partners consent, no matter what your gender is. in my experience men do tend to go into more personal details.

[@MJohn319]

Story 1: yah you're much better off without that kind of messiness in your life; leave that deadbeat exactly where he belongs

[@TacoCat_Fabio]

S1: 11 years without speakingto dad but her mother is even worse?

[@sierrastanley3109]

With an absent parent you can come up with a fantasy in your head but with a present parent you get what you get, whether good or bad. If the mother is bad than it's understandable why she'd prefer a fantasy father.

[@andreavanhoof6047]

Story 3: Your parents taught you well not to flaunt or brag your wealth because it would open you up to back-stabbing gold-diggers which your ex-boyfriend exposed himself to be!

[@eliciabonnie]

And 8 year old car is new? Well it's not old, but it's not new. This is quite weird.

[@mechtim]

my first car was only 1 year younger than me I would love if I had a 8 year old car, my currant car it's my third car is over 20 years old

[@andreavanhoof6047]

Story 3: I am glad that you dumped your toxic, selfish, narcissistic, vile POS boyfriend who would only see you as a cash cow and not true girlfriend material!

[@1FriendlyFries]

13:42 the cons are actually ridiculous and normal like im sure he doesent smell good either humble yourself

[@Aj-mn4pv]

7:32 I’m loving that mother-in-law because she makes me laugh😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂(I’m gonna die because I’m still laughing)🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣