I Can’t Move Past My Wife’s Affair

[@joshrees1591]

I hear all these calls. Am I the only one who is not a “rebuild” person? Like, if you cheat, I’m out. No exceptions. I don’t want to rebuild. I’ll build something new with someone else. Kudos to those who can, but hell to the no for me.

[@Frannie2199]

He answers that way because he’s a therapist. It would be unethical to just say “break up sis”

[@christinacanto3740]

I used to say that. And though my husband never cheated, he did betray my trust, and the reaction I had was not what I expected. Because we built a whole world together. Children are involved. Leaving is no longer as appealing as staying and building back better. And betrayal doesn’t usually happen in a vacuum. I had compassion for his perspective, which something I never thought I’d say before

[@penelope5500]

@@christinacanto3740 Well, good luck to you. I'm afraid an affair would be a deal breaker for me...

[@Gotoworkkk]

@@christinacanto3740 cheating is a whole different ball game that is planned. There’s no coming back after that happens. Imho

[@futuremelina]

You can't rebuild with a cheater. They will find better ways to cheat. You'd have to be an idiot to stay with a cheater.

[@milotatino8658]

First caller...Go... Cut your loses. As the youngsters say... she's for the streets. Plenty of good women waiting to meet a nice guy. Good luck!! Edit: Frist caller.

[@thecramptons]

😂

[@mariaisabel-rx4in]

a lot a lot of women want a good men. there is not reason to wait for a bad woman

[@Original_Flanno]

Aww I feel bad for this guy. He sounds like a big, easygoing sweet softie.

[@apebitmusic83]

A few months into the marriage? Run!!

[@citizenjoevotes]

My ex did this a couple of years into our marriage. That was it and I am so glad. Nothing we could have rebuilt would ever been have been what I had in my second marriage. I saw what love and commitment really looked like. I felt loved everyday for 34 years until he died. I hope he felt loved everyday, too, because he certainly was.

[@dennischiapello7243]

That sums it up for me. I'm not among those who don't ever believe in rebuilding a relationship, but for the infidelity to happen right at the beginning--even if it was "only" an emotional affair--means the bride wasn't even ready to be on the altar. There's not enough to rebuild.

[@Mrs.LadeyBug]

Yeah… That’s awful. It should still be honeymoon phase and intense discovery of who you are together. It looks like intense discovery of who she is…

[@sulkxr]

If they're still co-workers, the affair continues. They just hide it better.

[@awarepenguin3376]

"I understand it now"

[@benmyers9030]

She takes a lot of long lunches now😂😂😂

[@ElimEx1]

Not really. I had an emotional affair at work and I never spoke to that person again outside of a meeting.

[@tomnohmy1273]

I couldn't move past my wife's cheating. Glad I left her over 10 years ago. My life is ok, use to suck.

[@TheDrJohnDelonyshow-df]

Thank you for your love and support it’s a pleasure talking to you over here, where are you from

[@Endgator]

Yeah if you cheat emotionally or "just kissing" we're done I don't care, there's nothing you can do or say to "rebuild" that. I have respect for myself and ion wanna be played by anyone, especially not my partner. F that.

[@apriltownsend8463]

@@Endgator Then you’ll never have a long happy relationship if you think every little thing is cheating on you

[@Endgator]

@apriltownsend8463 "every little thing" is not emotional infidelity and kissing another mf... what are you talking about, I'm not a cuck thank you very much

[@Endgator]

@apriltownsend8463 "every little thing" is not emotional infidelity and kissing another mf... what are you talking about, I'm not a c*ck thank you very much

[@Endgator]

​@@apriltownsend8463 "every little thing" is not emotional infidelity and kissing another mf... what are you talking about

[@Whatorwellsaid21]

@@apriltownsend8463 kissing another person is a little thing? Lol

[@narelle-creative-arts]

I come for the excellent advice with each call, I stay for the banter between John and Kelly 👏🏻❤

[@randomfan792]

My ex husband broke his secret phone when I begged him to show me the messages. I wanted to know what I was dealing with, and that erased all doubt.

[@lynette599]

Good for you....

[@julieellis7288]

They haven’t even been married for a year and she’s already cheating? Dude, cut bait and find someone better.

[@camerongrant9356]

Poor guy. Being cheated on is the worst thing a woman can do to a man

[@WillBlindYouWithLight]

And vice versa

[@Evan_Floyd]

At first I was like, maybe they can salvage a bad issue until he said she cheated only a few months in, dump her ass and keep moving

[@mwhe3111]

First caller - The darkest part of this to me is that it happened not long after you got married. Marriage counseling seems to be mandatory to build something healthy.

[@dana102083]

The will for change and effort is what Im hearing there..

[@suadasuehuseinovic2472]

For the first caller SORRY TO SAY but your “WIFE” is for the STREETS! Why WHY AND HOW ARE YOU WITH HER? How dare you DISRESPECT YOURSELF LIKE THAT!? Is your self confidence that low? Just because she has a “guilty conscience” that doesn’t mean she isn’t going to do it AGAIN. She cheated within the first year of marriage! WHAT’s wrong with you!?! Leave her & RESPECT YOURSELF !!

[@dana102083]

👏👏👏

[@brendadiaz558]

Even at my worst relationship, I’ve never had the urge to cheat. It takes a certain type of person to cheat.

[@ElimEx1]

It takes someone who is traumatized and broken to the point where the brain seeks escapism. A person whose relationship is poor will cheat, one whose relationship works well will turn to alcohol, drugs, gambling, social media, etc It's a fight or flight.

[@JessicaGarcia-v6b]

Sadly I think it takes a more special and unique person to NOT cheat. God bless you!

[@Mrs.LadeyBug]

@@ElimEx1Not always, I don’t think. Some people just think it’s OK and are horrible humans. Unfortunately I do know some people very well whom this is very true for. Two of them were trying to get out of abusive relationships and thought they would be kicked out and shunned if they had an affair and they could just leave town. Unfortunately, it did not work for either of them. Of course. They were just hated and the abuser was looked at as super forgiving. I do have a success story though with one of them, at least as successful as it can be I think. Many years later, they are together and things are much better they’ve gone through counselling and have accountability for his abusive behaviour that he is not acting like he did before. He yells sometimes. He’s doing much much better. It’s like what she endured when she was sent back home and told to stay there, with no means or method of leaving so many years ago.

[@ElimEx1]

@@Mrs.LadeyBug You are right, there are always exceptions. Actual narcissists are also an exception but there's so few of them in the world that it's not even worth talking about. A lot of marriages actually come out stronger when people stay together and workout their problems.

[@jennamc6537]

As someone who has been abused and attacked sexually and in other ways. It is good to talk to her about this so you can understand how it affects her and to understand her better. She came to you because she trusts you to a good extent and because she wants you to understand a big "Why" of some of her thinking, reactions, and behaviors. If you never bring it up or ask questions she may wonder if you saw it as "no big deal". She doesn't expect you to fix anything, just create a space where she can begin healing. Just my thoughts from my experience.

[@lynette599]

_Wow...this woman really got an Get Out Of Jail Card for FREE from her husband, and that after only a few months of marriage!! She showed no REAL remorse because she DID NOT COME CLEAN the day she got caught._

[@WillBlindYouWithLight]

Mine didn't either. It was a whole several years before he would even act like he felt bad, admitted to it, or else.

[@ElimEx1]

Should we tell him that the first year of marriage is the best one because it's the honeymoon phase?

[@TaraHarrisonlove]

I've heard the first year is the hardest.

[@dana102083]

​@@TaraHarrisonlovesex life is often hard for those that waited feom the feedback i hear.

[@Corehaven22]

" Goodnight baby. I love you. " is not an emotional affair. That's a full blown physical for sure. And then she doesn't show him her phone? She wasn't up for it? Physical and probably sex. They only kissed? Nah. John nailed it. Guy needs a divorce. When it comes to cheating, bad people do it, good people don't. He's with a bad woman. That's not going to change.

[@rachel4339]

😂 yeah, and the good guy always wins, right? Happily ever after and all that! Man, the stories we tell ourselves…

[@benmyers9030]

She let workdude fill her browneye. Then go right to her eggplant sucker. John thinks he should ask her nicely and then she'll tell on herself for sure😂😂😂. She's being polite now so huscuck will still pay her bills

[@Katie-sf7jt]

Truth. Cheating is a character issue. It requires lying and deceit. It is mean. We have all come upon situations where stepping out on our partner would be an option if we chose that path. That’s where a person’s character should step in and say NO. I hope this man moves on to find a woman who shares his ethics. He deserves better.

[@Nah-ah]

Good people? 😂 I’ve known people who pretended to be “good and god-fearing” step out of their relationships! There’s no such thing as a “good person.” There’s varying degrees of “good!” People love conditionally as well as make exceptions where they think “I’m a man and my biology says I have to have s*x with many women and if I cheat it’s not that bad!” The same goes for women too who say they’re a good person until they expect you to be a certain high earner/provider! There’s good and bad in all of us! The only creature on the planet that you can 100 guarantee loyalty from that loves you more than themselves is a dog! 😂

[@SherriFlemming]

Mentally healthy people break up after a deceptive affair. Never Forgive Infidelity Cheating-Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞

[@carterbaumer358]

Work is always so much better when there is a John Delony upload

[@katiebigelow10]

Agreed!!

[@vanessaescoto3887]

Lol yup

[@bernadettehuff2984]

for me it's game over. only because I know that what ever happened is always going to be a question in my mind of "what was I lacking for you to go somewhere else.". I would always wonder if it is going to happen again, but that is me. If you are just married and she is looking outside of the marriage, why did she marry in the first place? I also know that sometimes it's about the cheater, needing validation that they are attractive, or wanted, and they need that feeling all the time; addicted to love kind of thing. So good luck, hope it works out for you.

[@BrainWasherAttendent]

Once someone cheats it’s over

[@jennamc6537]

Not always for everyone, but perhaps you cannot cope or forgive; some people don't know how yet. Sometimes you shouldn't subject yourself to more if they are not willing to change.

[@dana102083]

​@@jennamc6537im not willing to let them stay in a relationship that they no longer wanted to be active in. Bye bye!

[@gricel8402]

I feel for these two men The first man, please love yourself more. I promise you if you are having these feelings a year later. You probably will for a long time. Unless you truly forgive her 100% You are disturbing your inner and mental peace. Also, she did this to you just after marriage?! Who does this to someone they love and respect, period? To the second guy, I love that you are trying to protect your woman. It sounds like she is safe with you. Let go of something that you could not control,but you can control how awesome and amazing you treat her. She is lucky to have you. Just my thoughts.

[@JenniferAguiartampa]

Did I hear the affair was in the first year of marriage? If yes, he doesn’t know who he married!

[@manoftomorrow5987]

Facts. He doesn’t know her. Because ain’t no way for 1 I don’t have access to my wife’s phone. That’s for 1…she doesn’t have to show me, I’ll pick it up and look if I want to.

[@AaronJ-hc8sx]

It was within the first couple months of them being married.

[@KatrinaLeFrancois]

You are giving her a permission to cheat by keeping quiet. DIVORCE

[@citizenjoevotes]

@@manoftomorrow5987my husband and I used each other’s phones all of the time.

[@RadicallyFreee]

If my fiance tells me he doesn’t want me talking to a man for any reason whatsoever, I don’t talk to that person. And he knows that. The cool thing is that he’s never asked me to not talk to someone. He knows I respect him and trust him, and in return I get trust and respect.

[@jboughtin7522]

First caller: I think the guy should get out of the relationship before kids are involved. It will only get messier and more painful at that point.

[@CheesyAceGameplay]

First caller seemed like a good simple man. Hate that he’s going through that. Cheers brother

[@lynette599]

_The newly-married cheating wife who has 'remorsefully' declined to come clean by SHOWING HER HUSBAND HER PHONE AT THE TIME OF BEING FOUND OUT, is the ONLY one BENEFITING from rebuilding this marriage...SHE is the one choosing the BRICKS, TILES, PAINT and even is the architect who drew up the new housey's plans. 'OH, I am so REMORSEFUL but don't you DARE demand to to see my phone!'...and I bet this husband is bending over backwards to prove to HER that he is the better man, instead of HER bending backwards to earn HIS trust BACK._

[@arnieslab]

Why is she still your wife? Problem solved. Next episode!

[@SherriFlemming]

He cannot let go. Never Forgive Infidelity Cheating-Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Divorce Lawyer On Infidelity James Sexton podcast 🌞

[@Mrs.LadeyBug]

29:10 yes! She can find healing absolutely! This is a great start, having someone on your team who cares so much, finding advice and loving her so early on. I know healing is possible because I have been.

[@kendallstark4302]

If you're lost, you can look and you will find me, time after time. If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting, time after time 💗

[@lauriedefelice8132]

the odds of being sexually abused or assaulted are very high. like one in 4? I was assaulted at 12, at 19 and at 21. it's not my shame. I survived and the shame goes to the abuser. I wish people knew how common it is to feel unsafe as a girl. I remember getting a ride home from babysitting by the dad and boy he was sketch. countless events occurred to me... standing in a line and having some freak rubbing up against me. as a child. people. really. it happens everywhere.

[@Mrs.LadeyBug]

Yes. I am aware of a few places where 100% of the women and majority of men have been abused before adulthood. It is a horrible cycle and once it starts it seems to perpetuate. It wrecks people. There’s lot going on in the world right now and there has been for many years. In some places, it has been for multiple generations. I’m sorry that it happened to you too. I didn’t live in one of those places, but stuff happened to me too. We can be the cycle breakers. 🙏🏼💝🐞

[@fh1980ram]

I think some of us can agree that she's for the streets. No way they only kissed.

[@nwilady1867]

She isn't worth trying to fix this.

[@mcannonsr]

I love that he continues giving the worst advice I’ve ever heard. What a misandrist. I can’t think of another call where a woman called in whose husband cheated and he didn’t say something negative about the husband. Notice in this call he did not one time say one negative thing about the wife.

[@cscors2-bi8lj]

John handled this well. This guy has been hurting for a long time. He absolutely did not get the full story of her affair and most likely she did sleep with the affair partner. She deserves a divorce and he needs to finally have the courage/backbone to walk away from her. She doesn't deserve a marriage or partner for this. Be strong caller!

[@ThomasandGabriel]

All these caller are so amazing and proud I wish they all get all the help they need 😊

[@JessicaGarcia-v6b]

I lost 15 pounds in 15 days when my husband cheated and left. Only time on my life I could NOT eat.

[@SherriFlemming]

Indeed. Anxiety. Never Forgive Infidelity Cheating-Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Healing From A Breakup-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Divorce Lawyer On Infidelity James Sexton podcast 🌞

[@WillBlindYouWithLight]

Same. I lived in the bathroom floor about 2 years literally. Could not sleep could not eat because all I could think about was why isn't he answering me why does he always give the same bulshit answers that we both know is not the truth why does he always get so defensive why does he always get so angry why did he even marry me if he doesn't love me.. etcetera etcetera etcetera etcetera etcetera..... I lost over 50 lb I'm going to say closer to 80 lb all the baby weight that I couldn't get rid of all those years just melted off.

[@JessicaGarcia-v6b]

@ awe God bless you I hope your life is abundantly better with out him like mine now is.

[@keishaabreu393]

Most affairs start with co-workers

[@RadicallyFreee]

Which is why I’m so grateful I work with only women and my fiance only works with men 😂

[@wonder12374]

Caller # 2 Supporting your partner through trauma is great, but the overly emotional response to something the GF is saying she is working through for 3 years and the caller is trying to control who she hangs out with seems extremely toxic. He sounds upset he found out his perfect girl was "ruined" not upset that she went through the trauma.

[@evachalupa6459]

Yeah something felt slightly "off" for me too.. like John said - as if there was some of his own issues behind it. Like his reaction was "too big" for the situation. Of course he's allowed to feel what he feels, but something doesnt sit right with what he's explaining. If my partner spoke out about him having been SAd, I can't imagine doing anything different than holding space for them and ask them how I can be there for them. The "me" part wouldn't play a role in this, and if I called a councellor or Dr. D. for help, I would ask how can I support THEM, not how can I get over this.

[@evachalupa6459]

Yeah I felt the same. Something felt a bit off. Like his reaction was a bit "too big", or he felt it's more about him than her. It felt to me like he's holding something back and I had that thought too - whether he sees her as "broken" now

[@evachalupa6459]

Hh

[@annipsy2185]

Ngl i did think about that...like why are you struggling potentially more than her?😅

[@ttt-c3t]

What exactly classifies as an emotional affair ? Cause he said there was kissing involved, and kissing is very physical to me.

[@dominiquegrenier1661]

And arguably more intimate than intercourse.

[@supremenz]

Agree, kissing is soooo meaningful, especially when u also tell that person u love them ​@dominiquegrenier1661

[@JasonJohnson-vh5hq]

Cheating ruins everything!

[@TaraHarrisonlove]

I've been sexually assaulted 3 times it doesn't have to be a big deal. It is very common. Men and women's bodies gets very out of proportion. By the way, I never had anyone be angry or upset who is in my life about all of the awful things that have happened. But yeah, I've had to get past them. It DOES make me scared to tell anyone my life story cause I feel like it would hurt them so bad. That sucks I want someone I can tell about my life. Sexual assaults literally mean nothing, I don't even think about them compered to other worse things. And happiness is completely possible especially if I find a soulmate and we can make it work.

[@annipsy2185]

Same exact thoughts for me ❤and im glad you say it loud and proud . For me especially since i live in a "third world" country. Life is rough in every way. The least of my worries is those incidents. It may sound cruel by todays standards but when i hear people be so caught up about things like that, i just automatically think: damn you must have had a soft ass life...

[@TaraHarrisonlove]

@@annipsy2185 siiiigh. And thanks 😊 🤗🤗🤗 I feel like I'm in good company with you 🫡💫

[@bigdaddylee2011]

There’s an epidemic of folks who lack a back bone. Buddy she doesn’t respect you. Not even a little bit. You were a safe choice for her. Exit stage left man. The love you get from a woman who respects is like no other. Go find you one because this one ain’t it

[@lynette599]

Well said...

[@antoinettenora9446]

2nd caller - I see him controlling as hell. This relationship isn't going to end well. I know it because I lived it.

[@churrymurray]

First caller: you're not going to like what u see. Be prepared for a relationship breaker. Best of luck ❤

[@megflat2981]

My head hurts with Metal music!

[@West1010]

I tried to give my ex a second chance after she stepped out. After about 6 months I came to the conclusion my mental health is more important.

[@susansunflower]

Why wouldn't the first guy not ask? Afraid of the truth. Let her go. Plus, this happened a few months after they were married?

[@lsf71]

It's the shoke of it...never expect it

[@thegenxgamerr]

Once again a young man has made the critical error of getting married. What does that mean? That means he entered into a legally binding contract with another person who's terms are enforced by the legal system. Stop looking at marriage as some romantic gesture to woo a female, because when you do that you end up with phrases in your vocabulary like "how do I move past my wifes affair?" she should never have been your wife in the first place. Now that she is, you don't move past it. You get an attorney, file for divorce and enjoy the next year of your life in court. Cheating is not a mistake, its a choice.

[@blueseptember2174]

Marriage is not the problem. Cheating is. And sadly it's males and females who engage in adultery. This is not a woman thing. This is a cheater thing. They need to look deep inside and change❤

[@lynette599]

_The newly-married cheating wife who has 'remorsefully' declined to come clean by SHOWING HER HUSBAND HER PHONE AT THE TIME OF BEING FOUND OUT, is the ONLY one BENEFITING from rebuilding this marriage...SHE is the one choosing the BRICKS, TILES, PAINT and even is the architect who drew up the new housey's plans. 'OH, I am so REMORSEFUL but don't you DARE demand to to see my phone!'...and I bet this husband is bending over backwards to prove to HER that he is the better man, instead of HER bending backwards to earn HIS trust BACK._

[@bossman7976]

I cringe every time Deloney asks a woman “Are you safe?” Not once have you ask a man are you safe! We get verbally and emotionally abused!! Abuse is abuse!

[@garysmomfr]

This makes my heart hurt because it's a really LOUD double standard...I have ended friendships over my girl friends slapping their boyfriends in the face. However if it was the other way around and the men were slapping the women, those men's lives would be ruined. Sometimes men can be not safe enough to leave either :(

[@yallcrazy302]

He’s talking about physical. Not verbal. Thats the more immediate concern. U can actually walk away from someone yelling at you. U can’t when ur facing him and he has a shot gun

[@joane24]

Verbal and emotional abuse is not a DIRECT DANGER to your LIFE! Sure it's unpleasant to experience and morally wrong to be committing, but it doesn't directly kill you.

[@futuremelina]

Because you're a man. You can walk away easily.

[@russholly]

A man can overpower and cause massive injury to a woman in the matter of minutes while enraged. A woman who has a rage filled tantrum is not likely to be able to overpower and cause serious bodily injury to a grown man. When he asks that question it is out of a history of seeing these things unfold and being there after many women have been snuffed out in a matter of moments. Ask a cop, a first responder, an ER nurse or doctor what they think about your thoughts on this. Ask them what their experience says about women and that question.

[@YourRump]

Adults don’t kiss like teens at a dance. They get down and dirty bro. Divorce.

[@joea9222]

She didn't fully open her phone for you because it wasn't just an emotional affair, use your brain dude...

[@Mmmmkaaay]

Considering that men will have sex with women that they don't even like, it seems to me like emotional affairs are more upsetting than a physical one.

[@Drumbeat52]

Don't waste your time and energy trying to understand a cheater. People don''t change they just get older. The second time is easier, quote from my brother who cheated on his wife and he told me this because my girlfriend cheated on me.

[@toscadonna]

Can’t really think of a reason to forgive cheating, unless you’re the one who abused them into seeking solace elsewhere, and you’re willing to change. But otherwise, what’s the point?

[@Trysaratop]

Just leave her.

[@antoinettenora9446]

After listening to todays show, I'm glad I'm single and unattached.

[@JenniferJane78]

By the tone of the boyfriend's voice and the desire to control her actions, sounds like another abuser.

[@ThomasandGabriel]

I really like listening to DR JOHN DELONY Every day 😌

[@yallcrazy302]

Hey Dr. John you do a great job (except when it comes to staying in touch with exes imo). Pls don’t listen to these hyper critical people in the comments.

[@TheDrJohnDelonyshow-df]

Thank you for your love and support it’s a pleasure talking to you over here, where are you from

[@Twotonetonyy]

There is more to the story I would not try and work it out she did not come clean about it all. It's only going to get worse

[@markwinslow2449]

If she was doing this 2 months in then he never had a marriage to rebuild. She had buyers remorse from the moment she met the guy. He is going to go theough all thenpain and she will sleep around anyway. She’s been hooking up with him and didn’t want hin to know the extent of it.

[@bossman7976]

John Deloney i have to admit you give some great advice. HOWEVER, if you say some weak, simp, pandering things on this episode, you will Lose a lot of credibility with me. I’m waiting to see how you answer this call. We need more advocating for men as much as you advocate for Woman

[@zachwarren280]

This comment section is Behind Enemy Lines. John Delaney is an ad Revenue whore that knows exactly what he's doing.

[@aawillma]

I'm curious where you think the double standard is? He tells women who's husbands cheated the exact same stuff.

[@everett894]

I understand Counseling / Therapy is a business and you have to sell reconciliation, forgiveness, and etc. but you also have to tell people the truth This is over before it began. There’s no saving this without this man forfeiting his self respect, and his dignity. There’s no reestablishing this. Tell this man to move on and after he doesn’t get counseling on healthy relationships and recognizing the signs of when someone doesn’t truly love you because she doesn’t love this man

[@lynette599]

YES! 100%.

[@cichlidtube1777]

The second called sounds like a crybaby. Like it happened to him. She told you she is fine and getting through it so stop overreacting. He is going to make her feel worse about it and probably bring back feelings and memories acting the way he does. Man guys these days and softer than the women.

[@slntbisla3760]

As a sexual assault survivor, I need that guy to just chill out and just support his girlfriend… he’s over thinking this and trying to act like he’s the one who was assaulted.

[@rockpaperscissors.]

Yes, 100%.

[@andreamartins9230]

true, what is he talking about. Protecting her😂 Man, its happened already. Who knows if he even would…. blablabla

[@michaelk7348]

These are real feelings, this won’t get better if everyone goes around invalidating other people’s feelings. It sounds like he is supporting her, and the best thing he can do is get help like he’s doing so he can support her even better

[@obsidyenneg4333]

Why are men encouraged to leave their cheating wife, but women are encouraged to forgive their cheating husband? Sexism

[@johnbiggs2945]

because men and women are different......women ask a lot from a man ie; 6 feet tall, 6 figures, 6 pack, has game, has status etc......a man only ask for attractive enough, low bodycount, loyal, peace at home......women basically wants a superior in every aspect for a man......everything the man has asked is gone from a woman once she cheats.......its easy for women to get sex so its not respected.......its more difficult for a man to get sex, it takes skill for a man to do so, and not to forget the penetrative aspect to sex for a woman, someone has to get inside her, the wife let someone inside her body, there is part of someone else lingering inside your wife's body(there is research currently being done to prove that a men's DNA stays inside a woman once she has sex with him, particularly goes to the brain)........compared with a man which is not......men don't ask for a lot, women do.......and loyalty is a big one......

[@BirdDogey1]

You don't. She won't respect you for not taking a walk. That is an invitation to contempt. I doubt the simp host will tell you the truth. She isn't done. It is part of her character.

[@WillBlindYouWithLight]

Well. I also was lied to and manipulated. At least you're not in a controlling relationship and cannot escape.

[@ashley-js5rk]

Poor guy 😓. New marriage and that happened.

[@TaraHarrisonlove]

He sounds like he's the kind of guy who feels it's better if he doesn't know. He doesn't have to be the same as you, John. Let him take it at his pace. Seeing all of that stuff might burn into his brain and destroy everything. 20 yrs ago that stuff didnt even exist John. Let them work it out without damaging him more. Im wondering if John thinks to heal for the future *she* needs to completely confess all of it because she has to learn more or she'll repeat it. One more thing: You honestly cant say in yearshe wint be better off with her if she is a soulmate, than alone, then someone he doesnt love as much. And or maybe he feels the guy needs to grow as well as the girl, and it won't happen if they dont talk

[@paulrandolph5483]

Dr. D you are right on. Thank you for counseling all of us.

[@HOLDXSTEEL]

It’s over !

[@sandyelliott3350]

You need to be more picky about your choice of life partner, like someone with character and integrity

[@reneeantwi-boasiako3974]

Jane, you inspire me. I wish you all the best 🙏🏿❤

[@jamesemerson7445]

I love John's banter with Kelly.

[@stillwanttowander6819]

The only way out is through. You need to know everything she did. Also, if she did this in the first year of your marriage, I would seriously reconsider staying married to her.

[@ThomasandGabriel]

This episode is so true and very sad too it really touch my soul and the words really go to my heart ❤️ and marriage and my trust

[@JustinBurger-fs5ex]

God bless you Dr. John Delony and to all who read this wishing u the best lemme know if u need prayers

[@TheDrJohnDelonyshow-df]

Thank you for your love and support it’s a pleasure talking to you over here, where are you from

[@ethan4048]

Dude really made his girlfriends sexual assault about himself🤡

[@zachwarren280]

He's a complete beta.

[@michaelk7348]

He’s already showed support for her, now he’s going for help for his own issues. It takes a strong adult to know what they need to do to get help so they can better help others

[@willvandeusen7130]

1st guy sounds xanned out from his pain

[@cleopatrasmartypants]

The second caller is a red flag. I wouldnt feel safe with a partner that is so emotionally affected by my traumatic experiences. What if she would have told him she was hit by a drunk driver, or physically or emotionally abused by her parents as a child. Are all tramatic things that she shares with him going to have this heavy emotional impact, or is it just the recent sexual nature of this trauma that illicits this anger response, especially 6 months in. The vibes I got were a little off. Im sorry he is so affected, but if I were her, and he expressed this level of emotional trauma from me expressing my trauma... I would be a bit weary of him. I cant explain why, its just a gut feeling I have.

[@Mmmmkaaay]

Yeah. It's so weird, his reaction. I thought he might want retribution but it sounds like he thinks she's damaged goods now.

[@wonder12374]

Exactly he's mad his perfect girl is now not so perfect in his eyes now and he's now trying to keep it from happening again

[@Chet_24]

Get a divorce. There's no coming back from an affair.

[@bossman7976]

Ditto. Leave her. Ain’t no getting that thought out of your mind

[@joane24]

It's not a full affair, they weren't intimate. So there's still chance.

[@juniorgod321]

⁠@@joane24An affair is an affair! Even if they weren’t intimate, it still shows the lack of respect she has for her husband!

[@joane24]

@juniorgod321 Yeah, I'm not sure of lack of physical intimacy/acts constitutes an affair. For the defining feature of a spousal relationship is exclusive s'xual intimacy. This is how the marriage is naturally ordered: through uniting 'two flesh', with either unitive and/or procreative motive. Emotional connection, while surely imprudent and a likely leading in a trajectory to adultery, is _not yet_ adultery. To say metaphorically: the glass is not yet broken. It got some bumps and cracks (which obviously isn't good, and still requires repair), but hasn't yet got actually broken.

[@awarepenguin3376]

@@joane24 I agree with you 100%. The couple may say that "talking" to someone else constitutes having an affair, but most people wouldn't agree to it.

[@CdnEnjoyLife]

When someone cheats they first make sure to lockdown a passive and gullible partner that will tolerate anything. They then cheat with who they are actually attracted to....but they know that who they really want will not commit. It's intentional about having the best of both worlds. People like this destroy marriages and destroy the trust in loyal people. Please people start making better choices!

[@TheSarah89]

I can’t get past cheating. I truly don’t see how people can move past it.

[@mummymary2218]

As someone with Crohn's I was told all the same things to the point I really thought I was imagining it all for 3 years! Get 2nd opinions. I was also a newly married. 🍀🇮🇪💚

[@VitaLAwakening]

She cheats, it's over. She doesn't respect you.

[@coolaunt516]

Cheating while only being married for three months is different than if they were married for decades. There is nothing much to rebuild after such a short period of time.

[@ssiegreen5292]

The big red flag on the first call??? This is happening in their 1. year of being married... I can get that someone gets attracted to someone else once marriage is an old shoe and you get "maybe" bored a little bit with the same old, same old [not that that would make it right or any better!]. But newly married - that's a serious misalignment of what your marriage goals are and I would seriously doubt the longterm viability of this relationship and/or the effort of making this work, as clearly she is not really dedicated to it.

[@faithevelyn8682]

What if the guy with tummy issues is gay 👀👀👀👀 and that’s why he’s so anxious all the time 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

[@TheDrJohnDelonyshow-df]

Thank you for your love and support it’s a pleasure talking to you over here, where are you from

[@lynette599]

​@@TheDrJohnDelonyshow-dfThis can't be dr. John Delaney.

[@reneeantwi-boasiako3974]

People seem to misunderstand. The caller said that HE made the decision to stay and work things out, hence Dr John's advice

[@Fullmetalguitarist1]

I get it, the dude was still a giant vag about it. Like he waited till now to demand the truth that is insanity.

[@sharonrosemarymcadam8253]

She has a guilty conscience because shes still in the affair

[@TheDrJohnDelonyshow-df]

Thank you for your love and support it’s a pleasure talking to you over here, where are you from

[@antonglas7488]

First story: If I saw such texts on my wife`s phone I would have snatched the phone and viewed everything on her phone. Then if discovering she`s having an affair her life at that moment would have turned to hell. If a wife cheats divorce because it means she doesn`t love you but don`t be a wimp.

[@ceciliaaznaran3317]

In my opinion I could never forgive an infedility. I do not see myself moving on, therefore I wouldn't stay in the relationship.

[@StevenGraham-pp6fy]

Awesome

[@JK20239]

Cheaters : why cheat? If you want out, just say it and move on. Why hide the double life when it will eventually come out...

[@debbiekoenig7376]

This marriage is over. She wasn't in it to begin with.

[@SherriFlemming]

He cheated as well. Never Forgive Infidelity Cheating-Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞

[@lynette599]

​@@SherriFlemmingI missed that....where was that said?

[@ACTIVEsteps33]

second caller is a bit weird for only knowing someone for 6 months. yes its terrible but he's mentally distraught

[@aawillma]

He found out the new car he just bought has a salvaged title. He feels cheated but likes the ride so he wants to keep it but also wants someone to reimburse him for it's lower value...

[@supremenz]

I really got the vibe he wants to own her and this damages that, it would be interesting to know how this relationship progresses in the future.

[@Mysterious_Moon]

@@aawillmayou are a subhuman.

[@ACTIVEsteps33]

@@aawillma makes no sense because he knew she wasnt a virgin

[@ThomasandGabriel]

This last caller is such an amazing women that had always had alot of pass trauma

[@sandyelliott3350]

Bad advice . Once a cheater, always a cheater.. RUN. He's a coward that can't face the truth.

[@outsideview9052]

Lost respect in / for himself. He knows she has been bang--- the other guy and might still be doing it. He needs to be ruthlessly selfish and ditch this cheating women via divorce.