My Husband Fell in Love With His Therapist

[@cavelleardiel]

The therapist should have stopped therapy as soon as she felt any feelings. I swear some of the most unhinged people are therapists.

[@jellyrcw12]

it really makes you wonder

[@cavelleardiel]

@@jellyrcw12 Very selfish of her to break up a family. It has wide reaching impacts and society needs people with integrity rather than fulfilling our feelings which can be impulsive and selfish.

[@bevbayb3029]

So unprofessional

[@judybaker3196]

Agreed

[@JudePi-jx7yo]

A psychiatrist told me in med school the most unstable are the most attracted to the specialty.

[@annstewart8506]

Professional boundaries not being maintained is disrespectful to the person seeking help. Shame on the person in authority for taking advantage of a vulnerable person.

[@victoriar8284]

beyond disrespectful. could (and should) get their license taken away

[@monicapearson2264]

@@victoriar8284 That hoe wouldn’t have a license.

[@jennyjones-tw5hp]

Don’t even get me started. I read an article about a therapist sleeping with a client, as his “penis was a laser beam that could burn up trauma”. If this person was mentally disabled enough to believe and participate…, that’s depraved.

[@TruthHurts922]

I’ve heard this happening more than you would think . It’s insane

[@chrisw8627]

Report that therapist to the medical board!!! Was she charging for therapy that never went on ?? Cause that’s fraud on top of ethics violations!!

[@tamid2225]

My ex husband fell in love with his psych patient as a psych tech. He even brought her to our daughter’s high school graduation. He is working on getting his therapist license, and I honestly don’t think he should counsel female patients but don’t want to look like the “bitter ex wife”. Calls like this put a pit in my stomach.

[@ImAmomnow]

I'm sorry 😔

[@stephanie579]

OMG I would send a letter to the board before he gets his license … your ex should not be a certified therapist

[@victoriar8284]

he should not be a therapist. he could be with vulnerable young women with sexual trauma and re traumatize them. it’s not right. it happens all the time

[@VioletEvans-yt2fd]

That’s why he’s going into the profession. Predators put themselves in’ Positions of power to abuse the people under them. Boy Scout leaders, priests and pastors, teachers don’t come pedophiles. Pedophiles become those things to be near children.

[@kellymc6812]

@@stephanie579 just what I was thinking!

[@kiesh82]

If she can take my husband, she can have him. Gotta know when to let go.

[@SobrietyandSolace]

I’m alone after dedicating 12 years to men who would never marry me. I would kill for someone to even pretend to want me that bad

[@lucianaromulus1408]

Exactly All this woman needs is a DIVORCE

[@cheyenne5375]

I need this to soak into my soul. I’m better alone then with a crap man.

[@Psalm_27.4]

@@cheyenne5375If every woman understood this and really lived her life that way, men would be so much different, because since we are the “gatekeepers,” we’re the ones *really* in control, (outside of statutory or forcible rape, forced marriage, etc. that is.) Because so many women do NOT realize that they are better off single than being with a jerk, men are only too happy to be jerks!!

[@Psalm_27.4]

@@SobrietyandSolaceI hope you’ve seen the light.

[@victoriar8284]

therapist needs to be reported to the state board

[@crazeekids9744]

Maybe. It depends on what actually happened. Right now, she’s only hearing one side of the story. That’s why Delony recommended her meeting with the supervisor.

[@tracierenshaw]

agreed it goes against all as a professional

[@Rinniantoinette]

@@crazeekids9744nah, the therapist should definitely be reported especially if the patient fell in love with her. As soon as a patient falls in love with you all services should be stopped

[@ll2323]

@@crazeekids9744no, I don’t think it should. If u take on a patient u shouldn’t date them at all.

[@crazeekids9744]

@@ll2323 Of course there should never be any relationship outside of a therapeutic one. What I’m saying is that reporting her to the state board depends on what “actually” happened. The husband may have become infatuated with her without any wrongdoing on the part of the therapist. It’s important to gain all the facts before trying to ruin someone’s life.

[@tomnohmy1273]

I had therapy years ago after a lot of trauma. I ended up having feelings for my therapist, she was helping me. We processed them, it was never returned by her, can be part of a normal therapeutic process. Thank God she was an awesome therapist.

[@Psalm_27.4]

@tomnohmy She absolutely did right by you. What a huge blessing.

[@KFontLab]

Sometimes it happens especially when you are going through alot. But the therapist dealt with it properly.

[@edf18]

It can be a normal part of healing to feel attraction towards someone you emotionally are opening up to. It's up to the therapist to manage these feelings in an ethical way.

[@RG-hf4et]

Solve the problem by going to a therapist of the same sex.

[@livinmabestlife]

Exactly it is a normal process that happens. You share a vulnerable space together. But glad you guys talked about it and there were boundaries

[@BrownEyedGirl56]

Report her. That therapist will have her license taken away.

[@RiverWoods111]

Maybe, the whole relationship is a fiction of the husband's imagination, and nothing happened. The Student therapist was the one to go to the supervisor when she realized this guy was in imagination land about her and him.

[@afterthestorm9355]

She doesn’t sound licensed yet-

[@GodessIsabelRaina]

I doubt it. Like police officers, there's a shortage. They'll allow her to transfer

[@dshe8637]

She might be licenced. Therapists have supervisors ongoing after qualification

[@philwill0123]

​@@dshe8637exactly, and therapists usually have to have therapy anyway. Dr John sounds right. I'm guessing the husband has got infatuated and the therapist asked her supervisor to get involved. Because the therapist a) wouldn't be there. B) the practice would have moved heaven and earth to help the husband and given him the option to report her/ find a new therapist.

[@FoundSheep-AN]

When I was a teenager I had a friend whose parent decided to put in therapy cause he started not studying well at school etc. His therapist (a single woman) asked his parents to join them for some therapy appointments. The father of the boy and the female therapist started an affair and he divorced the mum of the boy, his wife. That’s how my friend suffered even more when his therapist made his parents split up by having an affair with his father

[@lasantuzza777]

that’s really heartbreaking. it’s been my long standing opinion that many therapists are sicker than their patients.

[@mightymouse1005]

The therapist didn't MAKE him do anything. HE WAS married, HE cheated and he would have cheated with someone anyway

[@MrHCify]

Ouch! Holy smokes

[@SobrietyandSolace]

@@lasantuzza777A deep seated need to try and fix people or maybe deflect from their own issues my examining others might be a sign of issues

[@Psalm_27.4]

@@mightymouse1005Since the therapist was the professional, she had the legal and ethical responsibility to be professional at all times. If the father made the first move, it was 100% *HER* RESPONSIBILITY TO SHUT. IT. DOWN. *IMMEDIATELY.* Sadly, SHE may have made the first move by sending him a signal that she was open, if he was interested, which is really tragic. 😖 If you’re a woman, you know how women do. If you’re a man, you know how women do!

[@ppgprepper5930]

When I went to college, the people doing psychology courses would admit they were crazy and took those courses to find out why.

[@Gentilejedi]

😅

[@nessknows.]

1000% I did this, but that wasn’t the only reason. I decided at 12 years old I wanted to be a therapist for teens and young adults because I knew that I would see kids like me who needed one adult to believe them and take action to protect them from the adults who were hurting them. The thought of potentially having the opportunity to save a future persons life when they are feeling low, at one point was the only thing keeping me alive. That’s a self centered reason, perhaps. Side note: taking the classes didn’t help me figure out what was wrong with me because I’m an autistic female and that’s not actually covered unless that’s going to be your specialty… and the research is more recent which explains why my therapist didn’t know what to diagnose me with so I got to pick my diagnosis at 15.

[@stephaniel5402]

It's always the f*cked up people that become therapists.

[@xsuzannex]

This really ain't funny lol

[@GizelleQuant]

It’s true.

[@joyofflipping2405]

"that's bullcrap on a stick with a pony and a box of farts" I've never heard anyone called a liar in this way 🤣😂🤣😂

[@Psalm_27.4]

@joyofflipping2405. I’ve never heard of a box of farts, either! 😂😅🤣

[@christinepierce7560]

👩‍🎤 I couldn’t stop laughing. That’s quite a unique phrase and so awesome that I’m going to use it myself. 🤗👍

[@joyofflipping2405]

@@christinepierce7560 we should make shirts with that on front 😅

[@Gentilejedi]

🤣🤣

[@girlygirl1890]

@@christinepierce7560 lol!

[@davetheauthor9885]

I work HR for a company that employs counselors. And getting romantically involved with patients is grounds for automatic termination because it's such a violation of professional boundaries.

[@Newtonwilson-yw4kg]

Perfect marriages or relationships don't exist; each one is unique. What suits Adam may not suit Peter. Nonetheless, I've learned that there's always a solution to every problem. Five years ago, my wife and I were facing divorce due to challenges in our marriage, but we managed to work things out. It was a tough period, but we survived.

[@oglaskubuot]

The wisdom in your words resonates deeply, and I genuinely wish my emotions echo yours. Despite our current distance, I cannot envision my life without her; my love for her is unwavering. I crave her return, and I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to make it happen. We've explored different avenues, such as therapy, in our efforts to mend our relationship.

[@Newtonwilson-yw4kg]

Learning to let someone you love go is always a tough journey, but in my case, I had the wisdom of a spiritual mentor who kept my marriage from crumbling. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.

[@oglaskubuot]

I appreciate your direction. I'll swiftly look her up online. Thanks. I'm hopeful that following this course of action will bring about positive changes for me too; her absence is deeply felt.

[@Newtonwilson-yw4kg]

You definitely should

[@TheSaba2115]

My daughter’s best friend lost her newly married husband to his therapist. Such a sad story. She can’t get over it.

[@andrewreviewschannel883]

Oh my god 😢😢😢

[@selmamartin8737]

There is trauma and then there’s TRAUMA. Everyone has trauma. Trauma is not an excuse for inappropriate behavior. TRAUMA is not a reason for bad behavior, but needs compassionate understanding and treatment. What he is saying/doing may be his way to avoid therapy.

[@bygrace8485]

Spot on !

[@noneya1238]

It's not an excuse, but a reason.

[@anacorreia8058]

His trauma wasn’t even that bad

[@PapaBless23]

@@anacorreia8058 Didn't realize this was the victim olympics.

[@ll2323]

Can’t she lose her license for doing that though?

[@mimimonster]

Never good with a spouse says “I just need to find myself.” When my ex said this, he had already slept with over 30 women. Always more to the story. It’s a way someone is trying to say “I’m looking it outside our marriage for something but I’m too much of a coward to tell you.”

[@RickRorose]

Funny. He’s not going to find himself hiding inside another woman. But I digress

[@davinasquirrel7672]

I think so too. My ex did a similar thing, and although he had not slept with the other woman, it was clear he was infatuated with her. He dumped me, but she was just leading him on (that was her thing) so they were never together. His therapist was useless, just babying him along rather than getting him to confront anything. So yeah, the 'find myself' etc is pretty much 'how do I weasel out of this'

[@GameChanger597]

When I heard her say they haven't talked and haven't had a connection in 10 years, my first thought was no wonder he's seeking outside relationships- he doesn't even have one with his own wife. The poor wife needs to leave and find a real relationship she can share her life with

[@JENKEN425]

LOL OVER 30 WOMEN????????? WOW

[@guitarman0365]

Finding themselves is code for my life path doesn't include you. Otherwise this is what the point of your social circle is for. That's what parents were for that's what friends are for that's what romantic partners are for. To be that support system during life's pitfalls and to enjoy with them during life's upswing. Why anyone would have to ve pushed away to find themselves makes zero sense. It's just coward language for please go away now.

[@Alex-Mex]

Kathleen, let him go! I was in a relationship for 14 yrs. At the 10 yr mark, I kept feeling like they were days he wanted to be with me and days he did not. He could never make up his mind. At the 14 yr mark he cheated on me with this other woman for 4 years. If they tell you they don’t know but they show you they don’t want to be with you. You need to walk away. I later found out why he kept holding on to me, he said he didn’t know if that other woman was going to work out. Once he found out, that’s when I found out about he’s cheating. For your sake…please leave him. He’s only using you.

[@scrollingxyz]

insane, a special place in hell for those kinds of people

[@JENKEN425]

YES HE ISNT WORTH IT.

[@AG-rc2np]

I experienced transference. I told my therapist immediately, and it faded pretty quickly. It was a bizarre, completely unexpected feeling. It is fairly common though.

[@caringforall4454]

Yes, it is called transference and happens often. It can be a great tool if therapist is aware, but so many therapists today are CBT trained only and lack the depth and skill to go deep in the psyche. A lot of therapy now is just “think better thoughts, don’t worry about the unconscious”

[@Dmgolfer22]

@@caringforall4454the only way to change the subconscious is repetition overtime and as a result of challenging thoughts you experience better outcomes overtime. The whole purpose of CBT is to change the way you think. The only what to do that is change the subconscious. CBT is working on the subconscious. But yes therapists need skills in many approaches DBT, ACT, MI, etc. But every therapist will have better skills in certain modalities.

[@caligirl8904]

This lady needs to come to reality that he no longer loves her. Wasting her time with someone who doesn’t want the same thing.

[@merricat3025]

She sounds really harsh to me, not a joy to around

[@lillybethford1915]

Why are you so angry at her??? The fake-ra-pist and her husband violated boundaries, both professional and personally.😳 “This lady” wording seems a bit harsh and unwarranted, perhaps’Birds of a feather, flocks together(?). We live in a world where compassion and empathy has escaped us….HE IS HER HUSBAND.👍

[@caligirl8904]

You know what's harsh? A cheating husband.

[@JENKEN425]

@@merricat3025 YES

[@bestrongcourageous2932]

If you’re a single therapist wear a promise 💍 ring or ban. It keeps client’s aware of your commitment (to treat clients as clients and not cross boundaries). You want to elicit MH support not advertise “you’re available “ and you get to protect your license!

[@SchmidtBitch]

Yeah because a ring ever stopped anybody

[@FoundSheep-AN]

Single women who are therapists are quite promiscuous… the female single therapist one of my friend had when we were teenagers, had an affair with his father and got his parents divorced … nobody pushed to get her license removed. Not even the cheated on wife went on to have a case against her. A lot of people get away with that.

[@sparks3555]

@@SarahConnor562 All is fair in love and war

[@kiesh82]

Or they should just have self control lol. Some therapists don’t wear rings even if married and don’t reveal any personal info to clients.

[@LittleImpaler]

Did I read this comment right. Promise ring isn't going to stop people from doing what they are doing.

[@MotherMantiss]

There is a moment in every interaction after you meet someone to whom you're attracted, whether at work, or in therapy, or whatever, when you realize feelings are becoming inappropriate and you make a CHOICE - switch departments at work, find a new job, go to a different doctor in order to stop anything more developing.

[@Sarahhrochellee]

Yes or keep it completely professional. That takes maturity though a lot of people don’t have it.

[@approximateknowledge5577]

​. Exactly! Maturity and discipline. So many selfish ppl out there not taking control of their thoughts.

[@theyesowl]

This. You make a choice

[@tomnohmy1273]

10 years ago. Right after my divorce. I was renting a room from a lady. Her daughter was sleeping with her therapist. I used to see a Psychiatrist, I actually liked, lost his license for sleeping with female clients. Must be a Connecticut thing, lol. I'm from Connecticut.

[@janeeyx5672]

I feel like therapy is a hunting ground for some of these therapists. They have vulnerable people in front of them seeking help and they use that to their advantage in order to get sex from them. Actually disgusting.

[@sonofhibbs4425]

@@janeeyx5672 it’s a hunting ground. I had to leave. It’s extremely disgusting…and as if my ability to trust others hadn’t already been hurt enough. They were even brazen about it. Sneaky manipulative too.

[@mommakimmins5554]

I learned a friend was diagnosed with narcissism. She went on to call ME a narcissist before I walked away from the relationship. I've been researching narcissism for 4 years and have come to realize my mother is an undiagnosed vulnerable narcissist. So sometimes they ARE the narcissist

[@randolph7214]

My lady just passed few months ago from cancer and what john said about self sabotage really stood out to me. She'd just get mad at the world and try to argue and fight sometimes. Towards the end id laugh about it and kill her with kindness. It was hard a few times!!! Lol. And towards the end she knew we weren't the issue and we'd go have a wonderful day. She never said she's to tired to go even if I had to carry her to the car. Don't take their outburst personal and just enjoy the time you have.

[@megalopolis2015]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you both really Lived. I'm grateful that she had you. ❤😢

[@hollyhinman9818]

Your first caller brought tears to my eyes. To think they hadn't gone to marriage counseling, but maybe after this situation, she does not trust that avenue. She was very brave to call and get the confirmation of what she already knows in her heart.

[@ms.diva0079]

Many years ago, a guy I dated and we had a great connection was in therapy. Long story short, he and his therapist fell in love and they ended up getting married

[@aelh123]

Oh I bet that went great ! I’m sure he is not jealous about her seeing male clients AT ALL 😂🤣 I’m sure this is such a healthy relationship

[@tupelohoney622]

I'm shocked she didn't lose her license!

[@caligirl8904]

That’s insane

[@lavenderkisses9461]

That’s repulsive.

[@mpro9446]

@@tupelohoney622 she would it’s the number one rule they tell you about. You cannot get quiet point plain. And you lose your license and all the hard work you put it in getting it.

[@CaliFrenchASMR]

CPTSD often isn't sexual abuse or violent trauma, it's often neglect, degrading, or narcissistic manipulation over a long period of time as a child... acting like he doesn't have CPTSD because he wasn't sexually abused is dismissive of the effects those behaviors have on children (into adulthood).

[@caringforall4454]

Yes, it felt very dismissive

[@cindihillis7047]

K😅00

[@essoundsofsilence]

Was looking for this comment and actually very surprised Dr. John doesn't know that (or doesn't believe in it).

[@victoriaporsiempre]

Dr. John doesn’t believe specially if the one who diagnosed was the therapist in question

[@williammmmmmmmm]

The husband is tony soprano

[@haydeecolon7868]

😊😅😂

[@lucianaromulus1408]

Exact same thoughts I had 😅

[@ArmOr_of_the_Alpha_and_Omega]

This is typically not a big deal...it's called erotic transference. It happens A LOT. It happened to me too, which was essentially a given with my history. It is actually valuable if they process through it with the therapist. They can use it as "fodder to work with" or "grist for the mill"...or however they say it. The only problem is if the therapist was a bad therapist and either discharged them abruptly without processing through it (this can cause a sense of confusion, rejection, loss, depression, anxiety and anger) or if they crossed boundaries with him....for which she did and she should be reported to the board and to her supervisor, as it is illegal and immoral. A good therapist explains boundaries, expectations and the possibility that transference can occur. My really good therapist did with me. It was awkward, but it was necessary and much appreciated. I actually felt more safe with him after that and it was integral to my therapy process and healing.

[@raspberrykissable]

Well it’s a big deal when it involves a spouse. This happened to my best friend too she didn’t have a good therapist and he damaged her further. So to say it isn’t a big deal is minimizing the situation. I have a female therapist and I am a female I just couldn’t do therapy with a man I tried. Luckily you had a very good therapist and didn’t take advantage of you.

[@ArmOr_of_the_Alpha_and_Omega]

@@raspberrykissable yes... I am blessed in that regard. The therapist before him was not like that. He did cross boundaries, but died before anything happened... I really wish the erotic transference talk would be part of the "housekeeping" at the first appointment, setting boundaries upfront and how they will be responding should it occur that way it isn't so surprising when it happens and we wouldn't be so afraid to broach the topic when it inevitably comes up.

[@beepbopboop7727]

@@raspberrykissableThe abuse is a big deal. But the erotic transference can be pretty common.

[@smmds]

In this case it was a big deal because the therapist also developed 'feelings' and flirted with the caller's husband. It's so sad that on top of dealing with her husband's PTSD and being a supportive wife she needs to deal with his infidelity. He talks about her in his dreams. This is so disgusting because the therapist crossed a boundary with her patient and as for the husband , he knows this is wrong and he is definitely in control of his actions regardless of the erotic transferance.

[@zammymynakersnackstbmoth]

It IS a big deal.

[@megalopolis2015]

I just wanted to congratulate the caller for kicking cancer's butt. God wanted you to stick around. He has wonderful plans for you. ❤

[@lucianaromulus1408]

Also, i feel like the bad therapists are masters in manipulation. Its easy to make a wounded person fall for you when you play the role of the healer

[@RickRorose]

They like the power

[@Simpli_city_]

Exactly what I thought: MANIPULATION

[@lucianaromulus1408]

@Simpli_city_ anyone educated in emotional intelligence can use it for bad, which is what happened here. I'm not excusing the husband of course, but you get my point.

[@philwill0123]

Or, more likely, he's completely lying about "both being in love", when it was just him.

[@alleykeosheyan4779]

He talks about her in his sleep? That sounds like a country song... oh wait.

[@priscillaL83]

Jolene Joleeene Joleeeeene JOLEEEEEEENNEEEE!!!!

[@ChristConvicted]

😂😂

[@alluringbliss4165]

That would hurt me deep in my soul

[@KaylasMusicalDigest545]

"Talking In Your Sleep" Crystal Gayle

[@megalopolis2015]

To be fair, it's at least one eighties pop song, too.😊

[@thedesertsubmarine]

Husband falls in love with therapist.. "Never let a man tell you twice that he doesn't want you" the diagnosis sounds BS and anything that came out of it is BS The streets are scary but I d rather be on the streets than be with a man who will disrespect me to this point..Good luck to her

[@kellegeez]

"Being on the streets"...what does that mean? Are you referring to being single? As you can see plenty of married people are "in the streets". Being single doesn't mean you're "in the streets" either. Some single people have respect for themselves.

[@thedesertsubmarine]

@@kellegeez I meant being single,not on physical streets

[@GarikaiGumbo]

Yeah, I've been thinking for a while that it's probably a good idea to go with a therapist of the same sex. Unsurprising that this sort of thing happens from time to time given the nature of the relationship to begin with i.e. you're divulging very intimate details of your life: your being, your psyche; to someone who'll help piece your life up - the kind of role that was traditionally reserved for your spouse or a very close friend. Add to that sexual attraction, it's easy to see how romantic feelings could easily develop in such a situation

[@avic2697]

@GarikaiGumbo I understand your point, but I am a woman who feels better going to a male therapist. Talking to a woman may feel like talking to one of my best friends (who are smart, level headed, good listeners). Because of my 'daddy issues,' I seek out a healthy male voice in a therapist.

[@pipperlue]

Yeah, I chose women because I know a man listening intensely to me and that feeling of being supported by them is going to make me have feelings that will inevitable disrupt my therapy

[@amaragrace94]

​@@avic2697 I'd be very careful. Based on your line of thinking, you could be easy prey.

[@Plooky1969]

Caller 2: Had something similar happen. Husband and I were out back bathing our dogs. My old pit bull got excited after my husband was done with him. I was bathing the other dog. I was bent over and the dog came barreling at me, as he was excited and head butted my glasses into my forehead. Nothing terrible like this caller, but it required medical glue to close it. Our daughter’s wedding was a month away. Ended up at the ER. You’d have thought my husband, who had nothing to do with it was a criminal. I was asked 10 times in different ways how it happened. I know they’re trying to protect people from DV, but it was nuts. I don’t think they believed me.

[@Morenita570]

This is the number one reason women have to file for divorce. He wants out of the marriage but is scared to tell her.

[@philwill0123]

Yep, he's killing marriage but too gutless to make the decision

[@cynthiagale6794]

I personally know of three cases where the therapist began relationships with one of their patients. 😢

[@7beers]

How do you know of these cases?

[@jborrego2406]

Did it work out

[@philwill0123]

You are a statistical anomaly

[@JENKEN425]

IVE HEARD IT HAPPENS ALOT

[@italy1769]

Kelly , when my grandmother lost both hers to breast cancer, in a time before reconstruction. She always said it was great she could pick whatever size she wanted to be that day depending on her mood and activities. She lived to late 90's and was the best.💙

[@KatrinaSanford]

My grandmother lost both of hers too, at different times, before reconstruction and she chose different sizes also depending on her activities :). My grandfather thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world until he passed away just two years ago :). She still has shame about her scars, and since her first mastectomy almost 50 years ago, never wears collars that go below her collar bone for fear someone may catch a glimpse of a scar. She is in her mid nineties and I wish I could take that shame away, because she is beautiful and the scars make her even more beautiful because they show her strength ❤

[@christinebutler7630]

The therapist needs to have licensed revoked and face criminal charges.

[@vinlago]

She wasn't fully licensed. She was practicing under a supervisor.

[@philwill0123]

No, husbands story sounds sus. Sounds like husband caught infatuation, and therapist was swapped out. Otherwise supervisor would be all over the husband to resolve the issue

[@MissIngridsclass]

That’s a bit much. She’s human too, geez.

[@itsme-notyou]

I had an ex who got into counseling/therapy as a career. She was an absolute psycho. Violent, vengeful, took no responsibility, the world owed her and she owed nothing, behind on bills, binge drinker, promiscuous. Just f'd up in many ways. To think she'd be helping other people frightens me. I wish her and her clients well, really.

[@victoriaporsiempre]

why were you attracted to her?

[@itsme-notyou]

@victoriaporsiempre It took a little time for the crazy to come out. By then I felt obligated to look after her because she was such a mess. I've made many mistakes in life and in this case I should've jumped ship at the first signs.

[@christine8396]

Sorry John, the same thing happened to me. There's nothing fishy here. I had a year long relationship with my therapist. They can be as messed up as the people they treat.

[@jillian9050]

That is hella fishy tbh

[@sabinasb2445]

What happened with the therapist? What happened with therapy? Do you usually practice romantic relationships # affairs with a therapist?

[@aladdout9454]

welp, now the wife falls for john delony problem solved!

[@gladysover5368]

🤣🤣🤣

[@lavernemusic]

But Deloney gota wife... plots twist Again

[@hackeemhafkey9050]

​@@lavernemusic She falls for her therapist, problem solved

[@OopThereItIs77777]

Hahaha right?!

[@analozada9475]

😆🤣🤘🔥🙌💯

[@erikaberrio8927]

Sending huge prayers and hugs to the Cancer survivor! You’re going to be an amazing partner to the one who truly deserves u ! Loving yourself is paramount first though … glad you’ll be a mentor … it feels great to share your resiliency

[@NaturallyLluvme]

This is one of the main reasons I avoid therapy. The blind can't lead the blind, and many of these therapists are broken. Awful!!

[@GameChanger597]

That's no reason to avoid therapy altogether if you feel you really need it. Why not just get a therapist of the same sex as you or one that's far older than you or unattractive? Problem solved.

[@NaturallyLluvme]

@@GameChanger597 I tried therapy, and it was absolutely useless for me. I found taking my struggles to The Most High and reading the Word to be far more effective/healing. The validation and promise in Isaiah 43:1-5 did more for me than the therapy sessions I had. Therapists are humans and don't often get it.

[@prod.saiyan4863]

Therapy isn’t real

[@Thedancinglemon]

You need to do your research and read the reviews and even still, after 1-3 sessions, ask yourself if it's the right fit and if this person will help you with your goals. But once you find the right therapist, it's so worth it.

[@Username0467]

@@prod.saiyan4863 You sound like the people who say money isn’t real. Lmao

[@tinawallis640]

This therapist was provisionally licensed and should not ever be recommended for full licensure by any supervisor!

[@carolw1624]

I worked in a field of having to help and support people. Men would mistake my smile and friendliness as something more than a consultant helping a client. You have to be kind to get the client in a position of trust but if there was a hint of something more I would shut it down and move them to another consultant, that did happen even though in meetings it was strictly professional and no discussing my private life. You are right too, when I see them out I would pretentd I didnt know them unless they approached me and then it would be brief. I was out of work hours and had my own stuff to do.

[@victoriaj6978]

the third caller was such a blessing for me. thank you to the entire team & the caller

[@bookaholicSimi]

Report that therapist.

[@Kathy-qu8zj]

John saying therapists/clients falling in love all the time is enough for me to say NOPE, also, until someone has actually lived with another person and actually experienced real day to day life with them, they have NO CLUE what that person is really like. Everyone puts their best foot forward in the beginning of most relationships.. give it 3 years and see how it feels.( walking in the shoes of the partner of that person)

[@tracamazon]

It's unethical. It does not happen all the time. When it happens and you make ethical decisions, such as ending therapy with the client.

[@bygrace8485]

That’s not falling in love, that’s infatuation or limerence. Same sex therapy feels safer for this reason. My therapist is male but he’s an sweet old man.

[@kytsunman8592]

I didn't hear him say that happens all the time

[@lavenderlock7568]

John's right though, it happens all the time. I've heard lots of stories like this. My dad's friend fell for their marriage therapist. He's rich and good-looking, married to his then wife for 20 + years with 3 kids. He left his wife for the therapist and they've been married for 3 years now.

[@TheLadyBlerd]

​@@kytsunman8592 I'm figuring they are focusing on what was a statement he made around 4:39 and he said therapists lose their license over inappropriate behavior all the time... which is a nuanced difference between that and implying therapists are inappropriate all the time. You understood what he meant, yet it seems others are taking the statement too literally.

[@tugboat2]

I love Kelly’s contribution! She seems like a friend I would love to have…😊

[@Angie_suv]

“You won’t have peace until you decide to stop fighting.” Wow that cut deep

[@mamajojovegan]

This therapist could lose her license if the wife knows how to stir up trouble. No professionalism here. She knew this man is legally married and not well. The man is vulnerable. She took advantage of him. Some men in the nursing profession abuse and take advantage of their vulnerable patients. This has to stop. School In America is not Easy. Nursing school is one of the top five most difficult degrees to get. To get an academic PhD is hard. You will write , write, write , do all kinds of research and you have to defend your dissertation. You put all that hard work in , blood and tears to go in practice and make poor choices to lose everything? Well we all need to pray to God for guidance, self control, discipline and ask him to show us how to fear him.

[@philmehrart]

Ladies, when a man says "I'm not sure if I want to be with you" (this goes for visa versa for the fellas also,) they're talking absolute bs. Its complete cowardice and they simply want you to stick around, for likely one of the following reasons: A) They are seeing what else they can get while they have you to fall back on B) They're just a coward and can't break it off, as they're afraid of being alone and hoping you will break it off instead - they're then spared the feeling of being the 'bad guy', so they can claim they're the victim of a break up C) They see you as a last resort, "well if I can't get anything better, I guess this will do" Either way all of the above are a massive insult. You deserve way better and someone who thinks the world of you, not someone who feels they're reluctantly settling - you can never have a fulfilling relationship with someone like that. Love yourself and find someone who is going to have your back and love you completely!

[@victoriaporsiempre]

🙏🏽 thank you

[@VioletEvans-yt2fd]

Let him go. Don’t allow yourself to stay with someone who doesn’t love you. News flash. Being neglected by your parents doesn’t cause PTSD. that’s half the population.

[@WillIam79-c7f]

Neglect does result in complex trauma. It's as damaging as full on abuse. Edit: she may be well served to leave though.

[@divinecrime]

Actually, neglect can cause CPTSD (different from PTSD). Of course everyone is different and details of the neglect are a determining factor.

[@ptyleranodon3081]

You know that kid who says he knows what it’s like to be poor because instead of getting the Porsche for his birthday his parents could only afford the Mustang? Yeah, it’s kinda like that.

[@chihirostargazer6573]

That's not true. If the child is neglected severely it can definitely cause trauma and later on they can develop personality disorders. We're not talking about a kid that didn't get a toy they asked for or whose Dad didn't want to play ball with them, but real neglect.

[@Myglowtips]

They both desperately need therapy. She’s sadly in serious denial.

[@emayan06]

Nah he don’t need no more therapy. They need to divorce.

[@JENKEN425]

SHE SOUNDS LIKE SHES LOUD CRASS ,. WHO KNOWS.

[@liannaescano9878]

When he said “the cancer confirmed what you believed as a little girl” I realllllly felt that. When I was young I remember feeling like I was always waiting for good things to happen to me, the things I saw other people experiencing. As an adult I suffered a miscarriage during my first pregnancy and I found it particularly painful to recover from because of that confirmation in my mind that I was not capable of getting what I wanted because I couldn’t even keep my pregnancy. I’ve been able to heal from that in lots of ways. I have 3 kids now and a wonderful hubby. But I do battle with that sometimes in flashes

[@tracykeeney8931]

That therapist should NEVER be given her license.

[@reneeantwi-boasiako3974]

All the best Francis. Thank you Dr John for clarifying narcissism. It's wayyy overused.

[@OopThereItIs77777]

I am sick of it too

[@BlackStump172]

Sometimes they are sociopaths .😁or disgusting controlling perverts .🤢

[@jericho_k]

That last question from Kelly, “what is a narcissist?” I agree so much that that would is very overused and misused these days. My mom calls people narcissists all the time and I always think, “I really don’t think that she understands what a narcissist is?”. Because yes, more times than not, people are trying to say that someone is mean, or a jerk.

[@judybaker3196]

I hope the therapist lost license

[@BlackStump172]

She needs to dob her in .

[@philwill0123]

Or, more likely, husband was lying to explain why he wasn't getting counselling after he was dropped as a client

[@jennyjunemoon-walker8739]

Dr John! Thank you for saying the hard stuff. Without you these people may never find happiness beyond the status quo. You are the best, most gentle kick in the ass any stunted, hurt human could ask for. Love you (in a respect manner, of course😅)

[@CatGoldie]

Kudos to the caller who is a cancer survivor. Took me 12 years to feel connected to my body again after the surgeries, chemo and a 5 year pill. I keep the date in my mind and phone calendar to county blessings. I received a 2nd chance to live. Easy? No. Keep going Warrior Lady. Hugs

[@needmoney666]

Breach of professional conduct should be 'rewarded' by loss of the professional's job if not career.

[@ckg710]

My ex beat me for 4 hours straight now he’s a license therapist working towards his PhD in family therapy It’s so annoying these therapist are no good themselves

[@curiousone6129]

Tell on him to licensing board.

[@uhhggg9335]

@@curiousone6129they won’t do anything with out proof 😂

[@uhhggg9335]

You sound like the problem

[@steph7960]

This actually happens a lot more than youd believe. Its frightening. Theres a woman on youtube who has written a book about her experience with numerous male therapists...had had an affair with five? And we re talking psychologists from Harvard etc. On one occasion she writes she was having affairs with 2 therapists at the same time? At one moment of time her and one of the therapists was getting counselling from another who she was also in relationship with?!!! She got a payout from one and is kn the process of a dispute with another. She states how she was messed up when went into therapy and is now an alcoholic because of what allegedly happened to her?

[@beepbopboop7727]

Can you tell me the name of her channel please?

[@bethanyjohnson8222]

I refuse. I refuse to believe this is real. Nonononono😢

[@blackosprey2219]

At some point, maybe a patient should recognize the pattern and maybe stop seeking therapy from the sex they are attracted to.

[@tentrickspony8925]

Sounds like she's decided not to take any accountability for her recklessness and she's obviously looking to get paid.😂

[@alluringbliss4165]

@@tentrickspony8925totally agree

[@6.0hhh]

"Thats post modern nonsense." Gosh i love you, John..

[@08superbee]

So glad I get to whatch these all day while welding 😂😅

[@kaizenborntowin]

Lol

[@RickRorose]

I feel like “my stories are on” best real life soaps

[@heninthefoxhouse]

you deserve better, lady. take space and heal and move on. sending so much love.

[@Mandrake_root]

15:36 "that's bullcrap on a stick with a pony and a box of farts" the creativity 😂

[@essential_listening]

As a man who had a therapist who came onto me, these people are out there, and it’s very very complicated. I am myself now approaching an internship to become a therapist myself and have internalized that experience. I don’t want to hurt the women that entrust me with so much

[@lisacrooks6281]

A friend of mine went to marriage counseling with his ex wife. The (female) therapist wore skirts and would flash him during sessions. Needless to say she took his side and he got divorced anyway

[@BlackStump172]

I hope that he is no longer your friend ?

[@philwill0123]

​@@BlackStump172yep, he sounds like a scumbag

[@shananagar1601]

I really appreciate how she rolled right in

[@mfrance3834]

I have been around a true narcissist for over 30 years. My mother-in-law. She was a textbook case. Drama, selfishness, never ending chaos with all eyes on her. Pathological lying. I knew something was wrong as soon as I met her. In fact the word that came to mind after my first visit with her was “boundaries” as in placing them on her starting now!! Because I did that I was able to keep my sanity. A close friend who is a therapist confirmed for me, definitely a narcissist, no doubt about it. She passed away recently and everyone is relieved. Interesting to note, she was adamant about not having a service or any public acknowledgment of her passing.

[@chelsmaria]

She sounds like she was a very difficult person (to put it mildly), but the way she wanted her death handled doesn't sound at all like narcissist. They would demand the opposite situation in handling their funeral services. Narcissists are often confused with antisocial, autistic, PTSD, borderline, and bipolar folks. I didn't know her, but the end of life requests sounded more in line with a very unhealthy antisocial or autistic person.

[@mfrance3834]

Definitely a narcissist, not antisocial or autistic at all. Her desire to not be acknowledged with no service etc is what I believe to be the fact that everything she said was a lie. Nobody believed a word she said and she knew that on some level. Grandiose pathological liar. She had discarded every friend she ever had, one at a time. Alienated most family members. Anyone who didn’t serve her was out. She was a nightmare, a sad life. So happy we don’t have to deal with the never ending drama anymore. A total relief! !

[@rachelfree1083]

I have gone to a few different therapists and I finally connected with one and just felt safe with him. Then I found out that he ended up getting fired for having inappropriate text messages with a young female patient.

[@liesascott5414]

It has been known for a long time that patients of all kinds have a tendency to fall "in love" with their medical or psychological professional. It is easy to explain and usually a temporary understandable connection. That is why it is a strict rule for these professionals not to get involved with a patient and not to nurture such a connection.

[@deanaburnham9571]

❤ Male-female therapist- client. No good. Too intimate. Violates marriage bond and risks emotional infidelity.

[@kellyhughes4017]

That therapist should be professionally disciplined.

[@AmayaWhite-fu1wf]

It’s a personality disorder. I know my husband is a narcissist when I found out he was cheating on me after only 2 1/2 years of marriage. I started reading, listening to podcasts, listening to the experts, and I am still with this guy and every day proves to me that that is exactly what he is.

[@lauramclaine504]

I think the important thing here when he asked about the relationship, it had been damaged a long time ago before the therapist at this point she’s more like his mother than his lover. She feels if she doesn’t face the fact that her husband doesn’t love her anymore. It’ll be too painful so she’s focusing on getting back at this therapist, it’s a typical woman blaming the other woman for taking her man. until she realizes that the marriage has been dead a long time ago she won’t be able to move on and get help for herself. She also needs to realize she’s worth more.

[@casualinthekitchen]

Don’t fight for that marriage. Don’t waste your time!! He clearly disrespects you and doesn’t love you. Please, do all you can and move on from him. I am so sorry for your pain. I am praying for YOU. 🌸

[@blah7694]

Yay there's a show on my birthday!

[@mayaandlittlelou]

Happy Birthday 🎈

[@Snow-of-the-Artic]

🎣 🐟

[@reneeantwi-boasiako3974]

happy birthday

[@macaronislack]

happy birthday! :)

[@jamie22cleveland]

Have Birthday!🎉

[@RG-hf4et]

It's easy for anyone to fall in love with their therapist. They listen, they are patient, kind, loyal, caring.....The difference is how professional the therapist is & if they stay in their own lane!!

[@user-wy5uu8gm4z]

A friend's dad fell in love with a therapy client. They started an affair which broke up his marriage and sent his wife into alcoholism. The dad and client married. The mom died due to her alcoholism. I don't think he ever lost his license. SAD

[@caroljohnson1279]

As a therapist we expect a level of transference of feelings from the client. It is up to the therapist to have boundaries and have a conversation with the client. If a therapist is attracted and has countertransferance to the client then there is risk! The therapist should have recognized this and transferred the client. PERIOD.

[@heyitsmyTeeTa]

I must have missed something with husband/therapist story. All the comments i see are blaming the therapist and not the husband. The husband is at fault. The therapist was removed and he STILL saying her name in his sleep. The husband started the weird relationship with the therapist and honestly he would have fell in love with anyone he didnt build walls around. He doesn't want to open up to his wife and she has to figure that out for herself.

[@semaisoshul]

I’ve been in the first caller’s position. My now EX-husband told me two days after my birthday that he was in love with a woman that he had a two year affair with and that he was missing her, but choosing to be with me. We had already been together for 10 years. When I tell you that it felt like my heart shattered like glass in my chest, it could’ve ricocheted! I tried to fight for the marriage, but I just couldn’t. I was too disgusted with him, and a few months later I filed for a divorce. This man was literally crying on the step longing for his affair and telling me that he wanted to be with me: yuck! So it’s definitely time to move on from that relationship. It’s dead and her husband like my ex is extremely selfish and emotionally abusive. Go let him “find himself.”

[@kathleenshaw932]

He won’t say you can’t see my phone. He will accuse her of not trusting him.

[@Bees-knees99]

There are two types of therapists: those who are well adjusted and help people, and those who are so messed up they become therapists to fix themselves and then mess up their clients.

[@handsomebarber424]

I’ve dated multiple therapists one of them she was on so many pills and drinking she didn’t even remember driving to my house it freaked me out , and the other one tried to kill me , these people can be very wild

[@Bees-knees99]

Are these your therapists? Inquiring minds want to know!

[@emeraldsama]

I have trigeminal nerve damage too!!! Thanks for the term "nerve shocks," I get shooting pain in my face when I breathe, or chew, or randomly for no reason. Mine is from repeated trauma from botched dental work done in the US (and it cost thousands of dollars, lol.) Nerve pain might be permanent unfortunately, but you learn to cope with it, and meds like gaba can help. Amanda sounds a lot like me. When the zap of pain happens you can see it on my face, but once it's gone I'm good to go again. I also have flare ups where I'm in pain every 20-30 minutes for days at a time; those episodes wear me thin and impact my ability to function, no lie.

[@nicolemarie4216]

Good lord! I’m so sorry. This is why I hate dental work and don’t trust dentists. I know too many people with life altering consequences.

[@backtoasimplelife]

I don't think he's worth fighting for, honestly. She could not say it herself, so I will say it...his behavior says he does not value his marriage or wife, and he wants someone else.

[@BeeM0013]

My then boyfriend (now husband) showed me several inappropriate texts from his therapist after I saw a message she left him on a Saturday evening at 9.30PM. His responses to her were all completely polite & he kept refusing ‘coffees’ prior to his sessions. After speaking with me he finally told her ‘thank you for your services but please don’t contact me outside of our sessions’. I’d love to name and shame this woman. But instead I reported her to her bosses. Seems they knew. She’d just been moved to a different facility and entirely new job role. I dread to think who else she made moves on or how often she broke the boundaries in her profession. But more upsetting is I feel it was a year wasted when he should have been getting the help he needs.

[@thinlaybhutia7493]

Your husband is very kind and loving.Maybe its a sign of soul connection between you two.

[@Myglowtips]

‘Love is a gamble and sometimes, you lose your shirt’. Tony Gaskins.

[@judybaker3196]

Limerance?

[@tarynthompson4141]

I think seeing a therapist of the same gender or having at least a third person in the room would probably be a good idea for accountability to prevent this from happening

[@Sciencegrinds]

If 2 unrelated people are alone together in a private or deserted place the 3rd party is the Shaytain (Devil) according to Islam. Therefore observant Muslims avoid being alone with anyone of the opposite sex who is outside of the close family unit (which is clearly defined).

[@jolynneTebbetts]

Sometimes people really do need to find their sense of self because they couldn't in childhood because they were too busy trying to survive and find some sort of safety! It's not bs.

[@jangrosemartindale8740]

Ohhh, the analysis of how John got there from her first question…

[@larissanoon]

Lots of love Francis ❤️❤️❤️ you really helped me today, thank you. So much❤

[@southerncreationskitchen3392]

I was in an accident on a bike thay my husband put me on convincing me he could teach me. He could not and that resulted in me crashing and breaking bones. I can appreciate her husband feeling guilty for what happened to her

[@asiancutiePacolovespecialchara]

as a therapist sometimes people have a crush on us and they don't always tell us but if I know I was definitely set the limits and transfer the client to another therapist

[@philwill0123]

I'm betting this is what happened here. He caught feelings, tried it on, she got uncomfortable, and now he has to explain why he's not seeing her or going back to another therapist at same place. This snacks of a " don't contact her, and don't make a complaint, I don't want to get her in trouble" in case caller gets the truth about why he's dropped. He wants to play victim but not have wife investigate the story

[@audreymarie1191]

She says “You don’t have to pull chin hairs out when you’re doing chemo” as I’m literally pulling my recurring chin hair 😂❤ perfect timing lol, good for her keeping her sense of humor!!

[@alisonklein105]

Hey that was my favorite part of chemo too! What they do not tell you is that you also lose your eyelashes. Those are important by the way, and had to use eyedrops until they came back! Cancer sucks like mega chunks!