As a personal trainer, I beg you all - don't get involved with your personal trainers!!! I've seen so much shenanigans in the gym. The way they make you feel is the way they make all clients feel. The slimy ones just prey on the vulnerable ones who fall for it. Please dont ruin your marriage for foolishness.
@mildchaos603710 ай бұрын
I say have the Personal trainers keep doing what they are doing. They are saving a bunch of men from unfaithful women. Assuming they ever find out
@susanriddle94089 ай бұрын
Agreed!
@Mrscarricom9 ай бұрын
@mildchaos6037 Sometimes it's the attention, and these charmers know what to say. Not all are unfaithful. Some are broken
@mildchaos60379 ай бұрын
@@Mrscarricom it will never cease to amaze me that women still don’t understand a man will tell you literally anything to sleep with you
@Mrscarricom9 ай бұрын
@mildchaos6037 it's why the creator called them the weaker vessel
@jeremym3115 ай бұрын
I hate hearing these stories of failing marriages. My wife and I have our problems, but I would never leave her. She gave me our children and helped me build the life we have with both of us dealing with depression and health issues through the years. I think of her every day, and I am absolutely the luckiest man on earth to be with her, living the life that we live.
@GreenManXY4 ай бұрын
Same. I wonder how these men live with themselves? Like, how can you look yourself in the mirror when you cheat on your pregnant wife?
@sandraeastern97204 ай бұрын
That’s what marriage vows are about.
@Claudia-lq3ns3 ай бұрын
I wish you and your wife the very best. I hope that my husband has your character when the chips are down ⭐️
@SarTafoolya3 ай бұрын
@@GreenManXYmy ex husband looked me in the eyes with zero problem he also did it I front of my young step son. Zero regard for my health or my unborn child. When my sweat little step son told me with zero idea of what he was saying my ex husband told my step son to tell me he was making up a story and that he was lying. I looked that sweat little boy in the eyes while he cried his heart out that I believed him 💯 and that I knew he was being honest. My ex kept the lie up for a couple more hours that evening till I told him I absolutely didn’t believe him and to tell the truth. Finally he admitted to it my soul literally fell to the floor I lost a huge piece of myself that moment and continued to lose myself for years to come. I was holding my brand new baby I felt faint but held on tight and wouldn’t let go. My life went on to be hell for years after. I look back and see all the signs now. And it’s true what they say once a cheater always a cheater that goes both ways for men or women. Cheating and lying and hiding it and swearing on people’s lives was all a sham. I believe his shame was then taken out on me physically because soon after the abuse started. I didn’t have the tools to understand what I was about to enter into. Long story short people like him look themselves in the mirror by never being honest with themselves. He has never taken responsibility.
@thankyousoverynuch69urmom903 ай бұрын
God bless you.
@nt3833 Жыл бұрын
The open relationship one makes me think that a lot of people today are bored and also self-absorbed. They say things like “I need attention,” and then use that as justification to step out on your marriage. Love is putting someone else’s needs before your own and serving your partner. Everything now is me/I/myself, and that attitude does not facilitate a good marriage.
@joymattson8549 Жыл бұрын
They want the safety of being married but the fun of an extramarital affair. Totally selfish.
@davidjonburke272911 ай бұрын
It's really not that way they choose to live that way because they really do like it and it makes them both happy.. I know several married couples married for 30 years that way! Typically in this kind of relationship if your partner has found a new partner that makes you happy and vice versa... Not for me but like I said I have a lot of experience in it I actually run a lifestyle group!
@ineedhoez11 ай бұрын
They are narcs. Raised by codependent permissive parents. The world resolves around them.
@catherinethompson653111 ай бұрын
Yes yes and yes
@coolwater5511 ай бұрын
@@davidjonburke2729Nope, 100% wrong. They are selfish, self centered, and have neglected their spouse, family, extended family and most important their children..if they have children. It's a crime against children. It's hard enough to have time for each other in a marriage, with family. Where are the children? Where are the grandparents? My husband and I spent mega hours with work, raising children, volunteering, fitting in extended family events. We barely had time for each other. Birth, death, taxes of life and not necessarily in that order. People who think with their genitals and instant gratification are selfish, irresponsible people to their family and society. Don't for a minute say it " worked" for them as if there is no damage.
@camillemayers10311 ай бұрын
If your partner is putting pictures of you on the Internet, sexualizing you and saying that you are looking to be with a man in front of him...he is marketing you. This is dangerous. Neither you nor he have any control over who encounters this information on the Internet. Your husband is dangerous. Run!
@DedeMattix11 ай бұрын
Oh, ouch. Marketing. That's exactly what my ex did to me, but I never thought of it in those terms....he put my personal info on polygamy and sister-wives sites and I had noooo idea. Ugh.😢
@gomolemofritz596610 ай бұрын
I watched a reality show where a man had done that to his wife. She left when he drugged her and men took turns while he watched. Seriously RUN!
@Lamour-c5b10 ай бұрын
Doing that without a spouse's permission is wrong. But don't confuse that with consensual open marriages.
@itsme3k10 ай бұрын
I said the same thing. He could be opening her up to be trafficked.
@Sam-iy1nt10 ай бұрын
Open what now?😂@@Lamour-c5b
@lesley_lezley11 ай бұрын
Crazy how people always don't know what to do AFTER they've done everything to ruin their marriages.
@butterflyygyrlsworld510611 ай бұрын
😂💯🙃 IKR?
@Ausbrahdave10 ай бұрын
Make it sound easy.
@ifynwamma9 ай бұрын
😂😂😂
@Keeks4927 ай бұрын
Right?
@KG-bliss5 ай бұрын
😂😂 and it only happens when they are caught and trying so hard to backpedal and it's so slippery and slimy, just like themselves.
@christywilson2177 Жыл бұрын
I wish my therapist and our marriage counselor would have been this upfront with us. It might have saved my marriage. It seemed we were just doing superficial work and left to flounder. Thank you for your work Dr. John.
@lilolmecj Жыл бұрын
The second call had excellent advice for any relationship struggling over any issue. Simple, but not easy steps for healing .
@ineedhoez11 ай бұрын
Yeah... a bad therapist can destroy your life
@tinkthefoxylilmiss680111 ай бұрын
@@ineedhoez .... how do you know? Did this happen to anyone that you know?
@suzannewilliams75910 ай бұрын
We also tried a marriage counselor. Aside from being later & later for each appointment, I felt like she was refusing to help. When we opened with his cheating with a stripper, she looked at him, he looked at her & they laughed....while I sat crying. She knew he interacted with this hooker/stripper admitting he started by motor boating her naked body. The appointments that followed, she wore lower cut blouses each time showing more cleavage. I asked her about workbooks or exercises to help us. She insisted we weren't ready for that. Because of his lies over 32 yrs, I asked her if we could do a .polygraph test. She refused that as well. I left & never went back. Just because they hang out a shingle, doesn't mean they're qualified to help.
@Elizabeth-uj8vn10 ай бұрын
@@suzannewilliams759I’m so sorry for your experience. You should report her. She needs to lose her license. That’s dangerous. Same thing happened to me. First visit she was laughing with my then fiance. I sat there crying my eyes out and they were talking like we were out at a restaurant or something. I reported her to my next therapist. I left his butt behind.
@dachater1 Жыл бұрын
How do people think an open marriage is ever okay?!?!😰
@greenAbbot Жыл бұрын
Abraham, David, Noah, Solomon…
@mentak2593 Жыл бұрын
@@greenAbbotoh yeah they all worked out so well 😂
@videofan1010 Жыл бұрын
Open marriage always looked like a lot to me.
@VeronicAM313 Жыл бұрын
What gets me is that monogamous couples thing open marriage will save it. Truth is, open marriages take work. You have to have the boundaries and the rules already in order before you do it. You talk to your primary partner before, during, and after, always! Primary partner comes before the secondary. Too many people don't talk to their partner, they don't express their feelings, Primary ends up feeling neglected and the secondary is put on a pedestal.
@mbwilson8592 Жыл бұрын
@@VeronicAM313 an open marriage is not marriage. Marriage is a word with an objective, definitive meaning. Though the culture is corrupt and wicked, marriage is one thing, and one thing only.
@COINsimp2024 Жыл бұрын
That first wife needs to divorce her husband right away. This is a character issue that can not be fixed. I don't think she needs to tell all her friends their business, therapists only. Once you start telling friends it's too many cooks in the kitchen.
@humilis42 Жыл бұрын
I agree. Talk about making things worse.
@datheamore6395 Жыл бұрын
P*rn addiction is not a character flaw. It is an illness that has become worse for a lot of people because of the internet. A lot of times addictions stem from deep seated childhood trauma and a struggle to connect. P*rn addiction is no different than food addiction or drug addiction. That being said, if you have no trust, love can't hold its footing. She has to decide what work is worth doing if she decides to stay or go. And I agree, telling too many people causes more problems. Better to speak with a therapist and maybe one really good friend she knows will just listen and not force their opinions.
@COINsimp2024 Жыл бұрын
@datheamore6395 food addiction and drug addiction aren't breaking a covenant, and neither is a reason for divorce in Christianity. Porn is.
@MN-br5nb Жыл бұрын
@@datheamore6395but she doesn’t have to live with that…what kind of life is that. Don’t be scared of being alone. Live your life.
@B-Marie11 ай бұрын
I so agree with you. I was surprised that he advised her to talk with her friends about it. I've never seen that go well. She has a therapist to share with...I think that's enough.
@Suzette-gb7uj10 ай бұрын
Thank you, Dr. Delony. I listened to your “The Most Unforgettable Marriage Calls I’ve Ever Taken Greatest Hits Vol. Two” for the first time this morning. The call with Rebecca really hit home. But what struck me, and frankly made me burst into tears, was you telling her the parts that were real in her marriage. Because I truly believed that our entire relationship, and marriage, was a lie. We were together for almost 25 years. He treated me like I was a princess for the first 20-ish years. I felt the shift, and tried to talk to him, but he denied that anything was going on. I put on my detective hat, and pretty much found out everything. We’re divorced; initially I wanted to work things out, but I discovered another piece of the puzzle, and I couldn’t go on after that. Thank you, again. I guess hearing an intelligent, caring human being (outside of my circle of family and friends) say “that part was real” is something that I needed to hear.
@R_S7479 ай бұрын
That's heartbreaking I'm so sorry 😔
@karlas996111 ай бұрын
One of our preachers said to ask your self each day “what can I do to help my mate today”. It takes the thought off self and onto your mate.
@barbthegreat58610 ай бұрын
I think that many people'd be far better if they focused on themselves rather than others. Also, helping others without them asking for help is a great violation of other people's boundaries, and you're really presumptuous if you believe you know the best what's good for other people.
@mbwilson859210 ай бұрын
@@barbthegreat586 ha. As if we don't already struggle with thinking of our own desires first. Humans do not need any help to think about themselves more. Look around at our current culture. People need to focus on themselves more ? Nuts.
@liannemarie250410 ай бұрын
I told my husband I absolutely love doing things for him. When he asked if I could do something for him, I jump up and do it. It actually makes me happy to make his life easier. He's always so appreciative of the tiniest little thing it makes loving him so easy. I always tell him he's such an easy person to love
@birtajonsdottir99109 ай бұрын
@@liannemarie2504sounds like your love language is acts of service 🙂 My husband's 💯 the same. My love language is words of affirmation so I feel like it's a great combo. Cheers to healthy and happy marriages 🎉🫶
@morgan17409 ай бұрын
Love languages are different for everyone.. it’s important to have that conversation with a partner.
@pattylyons964511 ай бұрын
If the two of you are already having problems, involving a third party will only make things worse.
@shawnbrooks529311 ай бұрын
Yes, it's like having a baby to save the marriage. Terrible idea
@lisaleone51287 ай бұрын
I had a coworker that tried that. They divorced and he ended up remarrying and had another child.
@ThirdEyeWizeАй бұрын
@@flower9015🙏🏽🙏🏽
@BloodSweatandFears16 күн бұрын
Yup adding to the pile just makes things more complicated. Sink has to be clean before you do dishes 😂
@krystenburkhardt-hansyn10 ай бұрын
“I need you to see me and still love me”! That really shook me. I wish that when we were younger, I’m 57, but I wish I had the patience and the ability to sit down and listen to people who knew what they were talking about instead of thinking I knew everything. I wish to God I could get that time back. But I can’t.
@Gigi3010710 ай бұрын
😢me too
@Burlykim139 ай бұрын
Hopefully you learned the lessons that you were meant to learn, because that (imho) is what the point of hardships and struggles are…and you will keep getting lessons given until you learn them. 😊
@rebekahwilson7703 Жыл бұрын
The second caller said, “Blame Covid, blame this Blame that”. Are you serious?! How about, I chose this instead of that. Take Responsibility For Yourself!! Also, she came back because “it didn’t work out”, not because she knew what she was doing was wrong. Nor did she say she loves her husband.🤦♀️🤷♀️
@pimaggot Жыл бұрын
I blame the husband. He "agreed to it to keep her happy" - instead of saying hell no - I will leave you so fast and be out the door
@SaystheTruth3 Жыл бұрын
Exactly! She's sounds very immature.
@nt3833 Жыл бұрын
Yep, she just talked about HER needs not getting met, not getting attention, etc.
@abbyxiong3931 Жыл бұрын
She needs accountability for her actions. That's up to her to choose. It was irresponsible to believe that being with more than one sexual partner will be the solution to their troubles. I hope the best for her and her husband.
@vladturov3572 Жыл бұрын
Very good point. I always think when I hear stories like that well you came back to your husband because it didn’t work out but let’s imagine that things were going great with this new dude…would even a one thought about your husband cross your mind? The answer is no! Because she would be thinking “yeah this new dude is so great! Giving me so many great emotions! That’s what I’ve been looking for!” But in reality the fairytale stopped pretty quickly and then she goes “actually my husband wasn’t that bad I actually want to work on our relationship” well it seems to me she hasn’t changed and I would expect her to do something like that again when she again needs “more new emotions”. Unfortunately no wisdom there at least I didn’t see it 🤷🏻♂️
@vickiefrisbie10003 ай бұрын
Yeah. The duplicity of trying to keep up with appearances while your marriage is broken is exhausting. It’s so strange to me that the person who was left broken is the isolated fearful one while the breaker walks around free from accountability. Let everyone know who needs to know and let him earn those relationships back. You set yourself free. Godspeed on your journey.
@TheWizardSpeaks8 ай бұрын
An offer for open marriage would immediately end the relationship for me. Absolutely no way I'm doing that
@Keeks4927 ай бұрын
I agree. ☝️ f your partner is asking g you to open the marriage is because he is already manning to cheat. But convincing you to participate makes him look better in public because if you’re doing it as well, then no one can point a finger at his cheating ass. I would end the relationship as well.
@MaletinaClarke-rq9ds6 ай бұрын
Yeah, so why bother getting married !!?
@thayah5 ай бұрын
Financial. I know some couples have married just to multiply wealth and riches but have lovers and mistresses Sometimes it down right looks like a marriage between royalties just to protect and enrich the crown and then both wife and husband have their own partners lol@@MaletinaClarke-rq9ds
@LaurenSanders134 ай бұрын
Well I think he should have been upfront and open about his wants and needs. It’s okay to be in an open marriage as long as the partner is aware and okay with it.
@Doggo-frencton4 ай бұрын
@@LaurenSanders13lol yeah until some guy lays some 5-star pipe or a lady gives that gluk-gluk 9000 and takes it down the hatch afterward. It’s a bad idea all around and it never works out for the better
@neededtobesaid4275 Жыл бұрын
Second caller. Her husband allowed the "open relationship" to make her happy?!? She only stopped cheating because her "boyfriend" didn't treat her right. Did she ever mention that she loved her husband? One day the husband is going to realize that he's not enough for her. Unfortunately, it might be when she finds someone else.
@alejandroc735711 ай бұрын
Its never really love if you can allow another person to get deep up inside your partner. These people are not ready for marriage and should just stay single forever
@vixen77748 ай бұрын
She never cheated he consented to an open marriage 💀
@Keeks4927 ай бұрын
But l thought she said husband accepted it because he had someone else too. Maybe l missed something.
@m0kusatsu6913 ай бұрын
@@alejandroc7357 I'm in a closed throuple... What's that mean for me?
@gmarie950710 ай бұрын
To the 1st caller; the same thing happened to me after 30 yrs of marriage. I’m in a therapy group with other women this has happened to. Please know that recovery is possible if you want it. All this pain you feel is horrific. Please look for a CSAT therapist; so important. Don’t tell friends that can be unsafe, it can cause you even more ptsd. Again a CSAT led therapy group will help you heal. Much love ❤️
@Gigi3010710 ай бұрын
Thankyou
@Will-ef2tw10 ай бұрын
@@Gigi30107 I would just say if ur in a marriage and hees not having his needs met. And ur upset at him for trying to having his needs met (via substitute). Why are you two even together? If reconciliation can be found there needs to be a compromise. Or else he will resent you and you will hold the grude from the past. An it will become either toxic or very cold and distant.
@texasrose231510 ай бұрын
@@Will-ef2twDon't u dare blame her!
@Auntie-Sara10 ай бұрын
@@Will-ef2twWill, let me guess; you've done something like this and as your girlfriend or wife was kicking you out of her home, your male ego screamed, "This is all your fault because I have needs!" Indeed you do but your URGENTLY important needs are NOT between your thighs; you can handle that need all by yourself. Your truly urgent need is between your ears in your poorly educated brain. If you ever learn that a woman is more than a living porn doll you might stand a chance at not being alone and constantly kicked to the curb.
@Sanlynnben10 ай бұрын
If he is not satisfied- it is up to him to be HONEST & communicate with his WIFE… not live a life of lies!!
@joymattson8549 Жыл бұрын
That husband who posted pictures of his wife will never change. I don't care how much he goes to therapy.
@colleengarcia775211 ай бұрын
Yes. She needs to be honest with herself. This is over. He is a narcissist and will only appear to change. She needs to quit protecting this guy! Eww. He is a creep.
@DrDoerk11 ай бұрын
Jesus Christ died for all
@mr.fettesq.770511 ай бұрын
@@colleengarcia7752without defending the guy for doing what he did...d.why do women CONSTANTLY jump right to labeling a guy a "Narcissist"...??? Lol!!! Ypu literaly have no basis for that nonsense. It doesn't even make sense in this situation. I'm convinced most women don't even know what being a Narcissist actually means.
@thewonderinggentile11 ай бұрын
IF WE WILL LET HIM, HE MAKES THE ONLY WAY FOR US TO CHANGE!!!@@DrDoerk
@ladydatura252911 ай бұрын
@@mr.fettesq.7705it has nothing to do with gender. Most people cant diagnose a narcissist.
@elkforests Жыл бұрын
"Hes just there." 🤣😂 yeah you really love the guy.
@stevie267310 ай бұрын
Exactly! I feel for that man. Cucked by his wife and when her fantasy inevitably falls apart she doesn't even comprehend the possibility that he could be hurt or struggling.
@DonnaLena19 ай бұрын
He’s a potted plant
@inosuke47089 ай бұрын
The woman in this relationship seems horrible. Poor dude
@corddarby95945 ай бұрын
yep thats why MGTOW is going mainstream, we are no longer being a ATM machine or a pack mule for ungrateful western whores !
@devadii2416 күн бұрын
She’s awful 😢
@dking136211 ай бұрын
Big respect to Dr. Delony here....to analyze such complex situations in such a short time, to give practical steps and insight, and to offer hope - quite remarkable.
@LSSYLondon5 ай бұрын
He gets long emails and his staff interviews the callers first weeks in advance so he goes in prepped.
@mindbodyfitness9911 ай бұрын
First woman needs to leave him and not look back. He’s NOT going to change. He might make a good attempt at faking the change, but it won’t take long for him to turn into Super Douche again.
@Jendromeda10 ай бұрын
he may be a sex addict. Plus he's pimping out her pics....unbelievable.
@timschultes646710 ай бұрын
I agree she needs to leave. Also I laughed at the super douche part I thought I only said that lol 😂
@mariatorres978910 ай бұрын
Exactly. What does she think he's doing living on his own? Does she think he's happily waiting for her? She wasn't enough for him when they were together everyday. Why would she think she's enough, when he's flying single? Smh.
@WVgrl599 ай бұрын
My husband wouldn't even stay with me when my dad was dying and I was into my third trimester and we had a daughter that was 16 months old. He had a softball game and he was the manager and said they needed him. At 31 year old man. He made it rough for me the last four and a half years of my mom's life. I need to call Dr John
@kellysong22569 ай бұрын
Good Lord, Honey. I hope you are divorced from that jack*ss
@lorrainebettencourt80099 ай бұрын
❤🙏
@jennymccullough95177 ай бұрын
He's a pig.
@maryhurley58847 ай бұрын
Hope you have! May 2024
@AleG36377 ай бұрын
Sorry you have been treated so poorly 😔
@deannestowe996811 ай бұрын
My sis had this happen to her and it ruined her. He also repented and it was true and sincere but its been 3 yrs and they both still weep. Counselor told her if they are doing better in 5 yrs than they are doing well. It takes a long time to heal from entire marriage being a sham.
@balazsfoldes470011 ай бұрын
I don't think coming back from this sort of betrayal is possible. If someone has proven that they are willing and able to hide the truth and lie to your face for years on end, how can any amount of time of honesty prove that they've changed? The remedy to every grievance (beside compensation for the grievance) is a change in behaviour from the offending. You forgot something? Write a reminder so you won't. That's a guarantee that it won't happen again. There is no equivalent guarantee you can give for years of lies, deciet and manipulation. I think it's why spousal betrayal is one of the worst sins, because there's no way to remedy it, it will either upend the relationship, or the agrieved party "forgives", i.e. they pay the price for the cheater's mistake.
@Jendromeda10 ай бұрын
@@balazsfoldes4700 just the creepiness factor is enough to end it.
@sarahalderman31268 ай бұрын
@@balazsfoldes4700it is also the most common result of marrying a man.
@Kathy-qu8zj3 ай бұрын
Been 25 years for me and still haven’t recovered. You never do.
@Kathy-qu8zj3 ай бұрын
Absolutely… ive been the one paying. Big mistake to stay.
@kellykirk4244 Жыл бұрын
Only true Delony fans are listening now on Christmas Day. 🤪🎄🎄🎄 deck the halls and listen to tragic stories falalalalala
@arfriedman457711 ай бұрын
Sorry im not Christian or catholic. Howevr i found this on jan 25, 2024
@FaithShorthouse3 ай бұрын
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
@imeime40219 ай бұрын
The first one. Run! Go out, don't trust him anymore no matter what he say or do. Go run.
@SunnyatbeachАй бұрын
Recovering from all the PTSD I suffered from all these marriage situations. I am glad I made it out.
@Zinnie98811 ай бұрын
To share your measurements and compromising photos of yourself taken in confidence, and sharing it sneakily to others like him is also compromising your safety, questionable and ultimate betrayal. Is he pimping her! Trust is broken. 💔
@DawnNa_2211 ай бұрын
Agreed. Any weirdo could’ve seen that and and taken him up on his offer - randomly and potentially violently. That’s one of the most absurd things I’ve ever heard a husband do to his wife. I’d actually report this to the police just to have it on record, then I’d file for a divorce.
@Jendromeda10 ай бұрын
i agree......it seemed like he was trying to put her in danger on purpose....really sick.
@mariatorres978910 ай бұрын
She could've got a stalker from that, or had a guy attack her in her home after getting all these sexual ideas from hubby. Very unsafe. And to think of all the diseases he could've brought home. Smh.
@leafitalone11 ай бұрын
One thing I noticed Dr.John missed with the middle story was at the beginning, the first domino that so many people knock over that starts this downward trajectory is TALKING TO OUTSIDE PEOPLE about your marriage. You can speak to someone outside your marriage but it has to be a therapist or an actual marriage coach/mentor who wants things to work out in your marriage! People constantly speak to friends, parents, siblings, and co-workers about private things in their marriage. You are allowing outside strangers, who do not care about your marriage and probably are either not married or have a toxic relationship themselves, a loud voice in your marriage. As we can see speaking to another co-worker specifically the opposite gender he offers to sleep with her to fix their problem. He doesn't care about your marriage... it sounds obvious but people don't have common sense. Now when the other people got what they wanted out of your little entanglement, they can leave happy and you're left with your spouse trying to clean up the explosion that just happened inside your marriage. Its amazing how many people allow acquaintances to destroy their marriage. People can come back from these things but it is challenging. There needs to be a course people take before they get married.
@dandaniels286811 ай бұрын
I think most people dont understand accountability. I see it more in todays women. Sadly
@bettyjojoeharperre-imagina732211 ай бұрын
Yes! I am very careful about speaking about any relationship issues or venting because it’s so easy for family and friends to demonize the side they aren’t hearing.
@n9wff11 ай бұрын
@@dandaniels2868 Culture teaches that men are stupid and women are the savior of relationships. Social media is destroying more men from a women's point of view, making more demands than most men can deliver. As for me, I feel inadequate. Being in competition with social media has killed any sparks of romance.
@lucindabreeding10 ай бұрын
I don't know, he recommended the first caller tell some close friends about what's happening with her marriage.
@mombythesea242610 ай бұрын
Idk. What usually happens is the man forbids the woman from talking to anyone, meanwhile he feels free to complain about her to his friends.
@stacyritter9261 Жыл бұрын
Porn addiction..soft or hard...ruin many a relationship... especially when the partner lies about it and hides it...there is so much trust destroyed...and so much pain in thinking you are not beautiful and wanted.
@blueseptember2174 Жыл бұрын
100%
@Jendromeda10 ай бұрын
they get addicted to it....and prefer it to real relationships.
@jh26pt2 Жыл бұрын
Gotta love Dr. D, giving us all the gift of "see, somebody else out there has an even *more* screwed-up family!"
@jenniferhuerta982411 ай бұрын
I’m mad that ophelia wants her husband back after the boyfriend thing ended. Her husband has to be so hurt.
@sitcheyr935211 ай бұрын
They both participated in an open marriage. While she initiated it, he seemed to be content with the idea of sleeping with other women. Honestly, they are both supremely at fault. My husband would never trade me out for open sex. Her husband didn’t love the idea but he said as long as he can have side action, he’s fine. That’s gross on both their parts. She emotionally got attached to one person, he had sexual encounters. They both defiled the marriage bed and their commitment to each other. If they are able to fix this, it will be both of them having to work on their adultery amongst many other things.
@joshuapope656310 ай бұрын
If someone came to me about an open marriage I would agree. Then I will get a divorce the next day. That's an open marriage.
@ciobalina74454 ай бұрын
@@sitcheyr9352 You know, I think that's not the full picture. Judging by his withdrawn attitude, he is probably secretly preparing a divorce. She thinks he still wants to be with her, but she'll be shocked when she receives divorce papers. He doesn't act like a guy who is still involved in the marriage, she was just too absorbed in her affair to realize that.
@romystumpy11974 ай бұрын
@@joshuapope6563😂I like it
@eileenwatt82833 ай бұрын
@@ciobalina7445 she's using him as a place holder until she meets another guy. If the guy treated her better she would still be doing it. The husband is planning an exit .
@patsyts433111 ай бұрын
The Ophelia call broke my heart. Those people are ruined forever…
@kenklee411 ай бұрын
It's truly degrading for her husband. I love it how John tells her that it will never be the same again because it's true. Their marriage will have to be completely different.
@inosuke47089 ай бұрын
She seems like a terrible self absorbed person. I hope she listened to this call back after to hear herself.
@romystumpy11974 ай бұрын
@inosuke4708 in her first few sentences I thought,selfish woman here
@Ibrapaintslight4 ай бұрын
It made me feel sick listening to her talking. Its psychopath behavior.
@deeprollingriver529 ай бұрын
First wife. Your husband has not stopped his sick addiction. Trust me.
@imoto1237 ай бұрын
Exactly. I can bet my life on it. He is Just putting up the show of improving and all... In reality it's just bla bla bla
@WildBison747 ай бұрын
Right, nobody can stop something that deep cold turkey. Well maybe not nobody, but it would be very rare.
@MsLilyPickles6 ай бұрын
If she got back together with him, she guaranteed herself more years of misery. He was good at hiding that part of himself and getting caught will only make him better at it. She will never be able to, and should never, trust him again. He shared her face, body, measurements online specifically for other men to sexualize WITHOUT HER CONSENT. That’s divorce paper behaviour.
@CalebsCars6 ай бұрын
Yea that’s wild though because I can express all that stuff to my wife freely 🤷♂️
@hello31466 ай бұрын
First wife. You are crazy if you stay. Dump him and move back to your home state before the divorce. He was not your best friend.
@sn4rl2779 ай бұрын
I love that John said (to first caller) to call two friend and being open about this issue. Such a healthy way to deal with such a secret sin, bring it into the light so it will die for your future to be better.
@FreeSpirit47 Жыл бұрын
I love this show. It's a great reminder for me, why I stopped dating at all or having sex & have zero desire to get married or shack up. It's too much risk, too much work, not worth it, to me. The predicaments the callers on Dr Johns show are in, only strengthen my resolve. I'm grateful for this.
@mbwilson8592 Жыл бұрын
Most things in this life that are the most worthwhile and fulfilling, require sacrifice and risk. You should absolutely be smart in who you decide to spend your precious time with, and not be looking to another human being to "complete" you. But, marriage and family are truly worth it all.
@SaystheTruth3 Жыл бұрын
Agree totally!
@salonsavy6476 Жыл бұрын
Spot on 👍👍👍👍👍👍
@FreeSpirit47 Жыл бұрын
@@mbwilson8592 If that is your point of view & how you choose to live your life, then, that is what suits you. Some people, such as I, are much happier, productive, remaining single & celibate. My life is so good, there is nothing that any person could or would add that could add quality to my life. I HATED being married. The ex-only beat me one time. He didn't get a chance to do it again. 6 months after the divorce I met a truly wonderful man. The connection was there, we had a lot in common. When he died, I wanted to die, too. A year after that, I began dating again, it was horrible. The liars, cheaters, sex pigs, guys with deep control issues, so jealous, so possessive. When I made the decision to stop dating at all in 2012, I became so much happier. I began volunteering, helping other people, traveling more, indulging in a hobby I'm passionate about. I began working out & going to fitness classes, more. Life is good!
@FreeSpirit47 Жыл бұрын
@@abbyxiong3931 There is no reason or need to be sorry. When I hear of all the crap people do to each other in marriages & romantic relationships, my life is of a much higher quality. If I had stayed married, I would not have been able to travel as much as I do, I would not have the career that I love. I might even have been killed. When I was married, I loved to do volunteer work. He would become so irritated by it, tell me I was wasting my time etc. I tried talking with him, his mother tried talking to him, even our children. He wouldn't listen to anyone. He didn't believe I would leave him. Afterall, he only beat me once. (eyeroll) The creeps out there in the dating world ~ UGH!
@lav7161 Жыл бұрын
Perfect day to have this come out. Ho, Ho, Ho's all around 😆😆😆
@sonyaakhanna Жыл бұрын
😅
@younglady0009 ай бұрын
I snickered, nah I laughed😂
@lalacoqui37298 ай бұрын
😂😂😂
@melaniegenuinely7 ай бұрын
😂😂😂
@jondoe4444 Жыл бұрын
And this is how we ruin a marriage folks
@cynthiakarkeys10 ай бұрын
The advice in the second call was so, so good. I’m in a good and healthy marriage, but the freedom that comes from learning that there are times of hot and cold for intimacy and discussing what you want to get out of a getaway is just soooo good. I’d even push it to say that you should discuss your goals before a date night, so that even for those few hours, you both understand what you want out of it and aren’t disappointed.
@Keira-oj1id10 ай бұрын
I'm the first call when he said that saying or feeling "it's all fake" is a defense mechanism is incorrect I feel. Yes, he was there when Mom died, etc. but we want people's actions to be aligned with the feelings they are portraying. I've been where "everything is fake" and when it truly was, it's not a defense mechanism.
@JakeInvest8 ай бұрын
I love how the girl from Call #2 is pretending to be the victim, even though she started all this
@thaimuayshoo1171 Жыл бұрын
It's a circus out there, that's for sure
@rak729310 ай бұрын
My husband kept begging to open our marriage. I finally said years. That’s how I met my new husband. Never been happier. Exhusband seems to not find what he’s looking for back then as he’s now got a drug habit lost his job and got a new gf every couple of months.
@KG-bliss5 ай бұрын
That is so sad....
@spadyfam792Ай бұрын
The "OHHHH!🤦♀️!" At 16:58 was felt. Made the same noise in therapy when I realized that I had been protecting my parents by not talking about the abuse and I had been doing that my whole life. And I love the he talked about the reality of no contact. I believe no contact was the right move for me and both of my parents, but really wish my therapist would've told me how devastating it wouldve been. Not talking to the unsafe people in your life doesnt mean that you will all of a sudden feel safe... Its a process.
@grahamkemp5102Күн бұрын
My wife had a passive aggressive mother and was asked by a psychologist if she loved her mother, liked her mother, respected her mother, the answers were no no no. She was asked after her answers, why continue with a relationship with someone who treated her so badly, the psychologist left my wife to make her own mind up to what she wanted to do. My wife became estranged from her mother and in doing so, became estranged from most of the family. She suffered depression for years due to grieving, but she is in a far better place now than she has ever been. There are times when estrangement is the answer, but there often is a great deal of pain due to grief as my wife and I know only to well.
@spadyfam79211 сағат бұрын
@grahamkemp5102 thank you for this. Really needed it. I've been no contact for over 2 years and my parents finally tried to contact me over Christmas (after I sent this comment). It's been an emotional rollercoaster and I'm thankful that my siblings are somewhat supportive of my decision, but ugh... It's been hard to feel so far from my family. It's so nice to hear it gets easier. It already has gotten easier, but ugh... It's just a lot.
@barryc911511 ай бұрын
Let’s break it down…. She hoed around, husband disconnected, lost love for her, found someone else….THEN she wants to close it and fix it. Sorry lady, you played yourself and he’s moved on. He will NEVER see you the same. It’s just a long goodbye now. You broke him.
@ramip881610 ай бұрын
So true! I still don’t feel like she actually cares for him. She just wants him back because she’s lonely now😏
@glennbastarache23103 ай бұрын
Are there any update videos?
@Shut_upJessicaАй бұрын
Right. She is ridiculous. She seriously worked my damn nerves.
@littleblackbabycat11 ай бұрын
Posting or sharing sexual photos of someone else without their permission is illegal in Australia! 😮 this is vile behaviour.
@Burlykim139 ай бұрын
As it should be! However, despite the fact that what he did was morally repugnant and most definitely wrong, if she’s clothed (even racily as she stated - shorts and a short tank top) would that still be illegal? I’m guessing not.
@sws3168 ай бұрын
It’s illegal in the US. I’m kind of surprised John didn’t say that she has the option to sue.
@sc36395 ай бұрын
They were not sexual though. Caller said that in the call.
@nt3833 Жыл бұрын
I feel so sorry for the husband who is about to get sicker-punched with the news from his wife that she cheated on him. And the fact that she has been lying for the past 2 months - he will never feel trust in her again.
@wstone404611 ай бұрын
She needs to shut up, fly right, and never stray again. No way should she ever tell him.
@nt383311 ай бұрын
@@wstone4046 I think that’s so wrong to withhold something that big.
@RonaldWarren-fy1ns11 ай бұрын
@@wstone4046Found the cheater.
@kenklee411 ай бұрын
@@wstone4046 Nah. That perspective of self-preservation further elicits future episodes of not telling the truth to her husband. She may steer clear of it for a time but it further worsens the problem at hand. She'll then keep doing it to save her skin and live a life of shame that will eventually implode especially in her "faith" as a church-abiding person.
@gardeninmyeyes540610 ай бұрын
@@wstone4046 Agree! Never go to another gym. Ask God for forgiveness, forgive yourself and move on!
@carynb91809 ай бұрын
I love that you tell your callers truths about their situation and give them good advice with love, integrity and candor. When the lady that referenced “searching Google” said that I was thinking: trust “Delony not baloney” 😂🙌🏼. Great show! Catching up a little late ☺️ but great show!
@gloriascott63311 ай бұрын
Agree, don’t tell any friends they can’t help you they’ll just be talking your business pay for professional help.
@northshorelight35 Жыл бұрын
I don’t think people ignore their intuition or miss red flags. What seems to happen is that we tell ourselves if we don’t put up with it then we’ll always be in and out of relationships because nobody is perfect. The next person will also have all sorts of flaws and it’s only a matter of time when they do something that really puts us off.
@mbwilson8592 Жыл бұрын
There should be deal-breaker "red flags" early on, such as signs of low-character. If someone has low-character, there's no working with that. As far as expecting perfection out of fellow human beings, when we ourselves have flaws, that's arrogant and unfair.
@javaskull88 Жыл бұрын
If you’re raised in an environment that denies reality (like alcoholic parents denying that anything is wrong, or gaslighting their kids), a person learns to ignore or deny their instincts. Counseling can be very helpful at teaching them to sense and pay attention to their instincts.
@TheRealdal Жыл бұрын
It’s easy to miss red flags. Especially when the person is good at hiding things. Like John said, it’s only looking back after learning the truth can you see the signs. During everyday life they are easy to miss until the person either gets caught, or their behavior starts to slip and you can then notice the changes.
@Keira-oj1idАй бұрын
Story #1. Intro into The partnership of Covert Narcissism 101. Its so sad. I've been there its very isolating like she said. Its the HARDEST THING but you can recover.💔❤️
@slavi719110 ай бұрын
It's no excuse when people say, "Oh, we've been together for a long time." The time doesn't kill desire. Relationships are work, and they take effort like anything in life. You want to be healthy and look good, it takes effort to eat healthy and work out; you want to save money, it takes effort and sacrifice to save money; you want a good marriage, it takes work and effort. Why would anyone ever stop putting effort into their marriage and expect it to last, is beyond dumb.
@liannemarie250410 ай бұрын
I absolutely agree. I think some people come into marriage with an immature mindset. I don't think age has as much to do with it as maturity but sometimes they do coincide. I married my husband because I could not stand the thought of not being with him for the rest of my life. The moment I met him I just felt this need to be around him. We've been married for almost 12 years and together for 13 and I still can't stand being away from him, lol. He is a wonderful person and he is just sunshine and everyone's life. He's just a good man and I really love him. I don't see this waning anytime soon. But I am blessed to have parents that are happily married after 45 years. My husband's parents have been married about the same time.
@younglady0009 ай бұрын
Exactly and it’s very few people who can comprehend this and it’s all ‘we love each other so that’s all’ but that’s not all you need to put in work for a seed to grow. Love also means work
@ChildOfTheOneTrueAlmightyGod2 ай бұрын
I agree. Sounds like me and mine.
@kimberlygorgoglione9237 Жыл бұрын
No, i couldn't move past husband posting pics of me and asking who is interested.
@fkhan103610 ай бұрын
Exactly!!!!
@mightymouse10059 ай бұрын
I would press charges
@yoda_18232 ай бұрын
That would scare me straight into a divorce. Look at the current French rape case at the moment where the husband drugged his wife and had different men over 100 come over and violate her unbeknownst to her for over 30yrs. Just to satisfy his own kinks. Scary staff. How can a husband in a way try to auction his wife online? What next should people respond and push for a meet? Who is to say he would not cross that boundary? Just Aaargh man.
@tommibeckman750 Жыл бұрын
I love that you did this. As someone who had 0 family around me this time of year, it’s nice to have something to look forward to. 🙏🏽💚 Merry Christmas to you and yours
@kariay5011 ай бұрын
All the best to you in 2024.
@JustinCase780 Жыл бұрын
Cool miserable stories on Christmas. 😂
@whitshenanigans Жыл бұрын
😂
@rayseyeoman7540 Жыл бұрын
😂😂😂😂
@judyjetson8542 Жыл бұрын
This comment is gold😂😂😂
@Whiskey_Jane Жыл бұрын
Here for it 🙌 ❤
@SaystheTruth3 Жыл бұрын
😂
@KelseyWillow-l6y4 ай бұрын
Oh my friend, I feel so deeply for so many things in the first story of this episode. I protected my abusive, narcissistic husband who took advantage of me in a million ways-for so long. The shame and grief of being vulnerable with those close to me was overwhelming but ultimately, it was my lifeline. It was my escape and my eventual support system. I pray you marriage survived and he didn’t very deep real work necessary, but if not, you will be ok! You will be more than ok, you will thrive and those who support and know you will champion your health and well being above all!
@goodgoogly25699 ай бұрын
Who else has trust issues after listening to this ?
@sungchia2808 ай бұрын
I actually started feeling much better about being single all my life.....I actually feel proud of myself for not settling and for making decisions that lead to physical/emotional loneliness but kept my integrity whole....
@NorthernRealmJackal6 ай бұрын
Yeah, that second call nearly violated my marriage by proxy. That dude's misery went through his wife's 2nd-hand testimony, out through my speakers and touched my soul inappropriately.
@socalventures19 ай бұрын
This one show of stories helped clear up so much between my wife and I, thank you so much for everything you all do not just in my life but the millions you touch everyday. Thank you.
@vanessapanek995911 ай бұрын
He was seeking out for attention of other couples, and was basically pimping her out to the other couples as a freebie sounds rather insulting
@helianabanes48754 ай бұрын
I have to say, I was impressed with the clear level of positivity, hope, and motivation the second gal was left with, at the end of the call. Nice job.
@fowlermasonknoll10 ай бұрын
This guy is amazing. I love how he isn’t afraid to call out bullshit but also admits that he is only getting a 30000 ft birds eye view of the situation and he almost never tells people to leave or stay in a bad relationship. He also acknowledges that sometimes economics prolong a bad marriage. That isn’t talked about as much anymore now that woman can get jobs and make 3/4 as much as men.
@carlakenyon607310 ай бұрын
He just told the First Lady to leave. Is he a psychologist? He should not give his opinion ( s)
@fkhan103610 ай бұрын
@@carlakenyon6073Yea she should leave the hell ?????
@SJ-nu1ou9 ай бұрын
I love an expert who does take that extra step n ask such messed up folks to leave. That first relationship will never heal
@annied98643 күн бұрын
0:56 1:08am Christmas morning in Scotland 🏴 merry Christmas ❤🙏🏻📿
@antonchigurh98110 ай бұрын
Me and my wife thought about open marriage to spice things up, but then she said she was afraid that id like the other woman better and leave her. And i dont like the idea of another guy with my wife. I also knew personally 2 other couples who did that and it ended up ruining both their marriages. we just decided its not worth it and agreed to not do it. Monogamy only.
@TracyRaven9 ай бұрын
Have you maybe considered a s*x doll ?? Good innocent fun and nobody gets hurt, they're an investment but could save a marriage 😍
@Maarjaanaa2 ай бұрын
I wish all these people happy solutions, happy life... we all are just humans, making stupid mistakes. I am 70 now and learned a lot...
@LaurenW-g2s26 күн бұрын
💪🏻👍🏻💕
@marysaltlife1427 Жыл бұрын
Second call--I don't agree with calling a friend to share everything. That's no ones business, and really serves no purpose other than to share the caller's misplaced guilt. She needs to talk to a professional that will be there for the long haul. At this point, only HER feelings matter, and don't muddy the waters with friends' comments.
@JustinCase780 Жыл бұрын
Sure she should. Best day to call a friend and dump your troubles is Christmas morning. 😂
@marysaltlife1427 Жыл бұрын
@@JustinCase780 👍would just be awful
@susanazempoalteca26504 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂 32:44 “I just want to watch a movie and my knee hurts..” reminded me of my husband ❤
@esteehanvey564710 ай бұрын
if that first one was me I really think it would be over. soliciting sex on my behalf is terrifying and one step away from trafficking
@intherockies4 ай бұрын
I agree!!
@PyewacketCharmer-w6m3 ай бұрын
My sister found out her husband had been cheating when she went to the doctor because she wasn’t feeling well. They ran some tests, and that is when she found out she had an STD. As if that was not bad enough, she then finds out that he fathered a child by one of his affair partners. Divorce was their only option. Luckily, her STD was curable Thank God. The lives of their family were never the same.
@maryrothwell62649 ай бұрын
It's taken 20+ years to get over the pain 100% but once in a while, I still get 'pissed' at myself for 'seeing but not-seeing' because I trusted totally. Long and short of the whole thing, I should have left immediately when the first red flag came up at the beginning of our relationship.
@sheilac383613 күн бұрын
The sixth sense is such a great reference….. and grief deserves a witness is so true.
@hansonallie Жыл бұрын
I kind of feel like disclosing the sex she had with the other guy is more to relieve her conscience, than actually heal anything in their relationship…
@wstone404611 ай бұрын
Agree, just because an item needs to be said, does not mean an item needs to be heard
@hansonallie11 ай бұрын
@@wstone4046 - Ooh!! I like that!
@kenklee411 ай бұрын
That's just it - it does both! From the perspective of the husband, healing comes in two ways: 1) he has another reason leave her 2) rebuild their marriage in truth when he is ready. I like the way John put, both ways are going to be incredibly difficult. She no longer has an out and must live with her choices. If she loves her man the way she claims to, she'll tell the truth.
@mildchaos603710 ай бұрын
Yeah she doesn’t sound too upset. I feel like she’s fine with a divorce if it does come to that
@ilykepink10 ай бұрын
eww you're a woman of poor character. i hope your husband cheats on you LOOOOL
@veronicamwania95843 ай бұрын
The first caller said she never checked his phone or computer for 28years. I identified with her but in the end when you asked why she's protecting him, I realised she always knew something was not okay so she chose not to get herself in a position where she will get any evidence to confirm her gut feeling...what you don't know will still come out, it's better to confront issues
@maylynbayani11 ай бұрын
I asked my husband if he would ever want another wife. He said that one wife is trouble enough. He would like to have his sanity intact hahahaha.
@Badassoldwoman10 ай бұрын
LOL. Mine says the same thing! I used to tease him about getting a sister wife, and he would visibly cringe😂
@graphitetalk10 ай бұрын
Ha ha ha. My husband said he does not know how some Muslims have 4 wives as they are allowed. One wife is ENOUGH, to drive a man nuts.
@JmGmail10 ай бұрын
Saying these things does not mean anything.
@epsilona747210 ай бұрын
what a strange question to ask your husband
@liannemarie250410 ай бұрын
Exactly! Every married man I know says that one woman is trouble enough!😂😂😂
@bobbieboomboomkelly10 ай бұрын
I love listening to you! My life has been a series of trauma an abuse. My last relationship was ten years past, with a horrible narcissist, cruel abusive man. Since then I have been alone, he took it all from me..then I got cancer, my health just never bounced back. So I still feel like I can’t trust,now I don’t know joy. I have no idea, what makes me feel alive, I really don’t care…no-one cares I am 64 disabled, an have nothing to offer, nothing to bring to the table.
@myhalowithin9 ай бұрын
Care I do! Although it has been 4wks since you wrote this... I'm hoping you got through the holidays and are feeling stronger on all levels. Seems as if I were shish kebab'd at birth. The last relationship spent me too. It takes a toll on our well-being, and those also involved directly, as well, indirectly. I've one suggestion for another therapist online that dwells deep into complex trama. *Tim Fletcher* May your days be filled with choices that add life to your smile. So sorry for your pain and sorrow. Lifted in prayer for strength in all area's needed. The world is over-whelmed... yet, remember... more than I care! Today is a reminder.
@bobbieboomboomkelly9 ай бұрын
@@myhalowithin Thank you so very much for your reply, it really touched my heart. I woke at 4 am Wens night an was unable to walk. I have serious back issues, from working in bars for 40 years with lung issues, having to use strong steroids to keep me going. Spent a night in ER now waiting for insurance to give me referral for MRI . Another day in paradise… I did find a therapist just doing the paperwork for that also lol. But mostly wanting to say you are very kind for stopping an taking your precious time to make my heart feel better. Your a great person. I needed to say that. Hope you are well, an have people who tell you everyday they love an need you. I care that you are here, just so you can reply to me an make me feel something today ❤️ THANK YOU MY NEW FRIEND
@myhalowithin9 ай бұрын
@@bobbieboomboomkelly Then we are new friends. I'm not great by far, however, you are welcome. First off I was impressed with you speaking up! Everybody moves so fast :) Oh, you might want to look up an, (Sigma INFJ-T) that's me, mostly... along with the complex. Personally, it helped greatly to take the online Myers Personality Test, then other's to verify results were as accurate as, my answers true. Once the therapist I mentioned above was in the knowledge mix, well... that somehow helped my strength I was determined to retrieve, after making a very bad error only hidesight could show me. It took a huge toll on my every level. I've had MS for most of my life, and able to control it with life style mostly, until what I/You/other's find themselves in, abusive relationship of one, or more if we start taking on mirroring traits. Well, I'm a door slammer! My health incurred too much stress, and when there is enough pressure on something, the weakest part oozes out. So, now... losing my sight more and more, along with hands and feet that once thrived. It gets scary for sure... you too. I hope you get answers so you will be able to make the best choices for you probable. I hope you stay out of the ER's. Those ICU's have a lot of people there with Peek-a-boo problems! 🤭 Warning: Love silly jokes. I was not expecting a new friend. Welcome. I really think you are going to benefit from the complex therapy, or at least it is my hope you will, too. Whew! wooped now🤣😂 Hope you have some refreshing sleep and find the morning a bit brighter, no matter what. 🙏 Talk with you again. 🤍
@myhalowithin9 ай бұрын
@@bobbieboomboomkelly - I will attempt an answer again tomorrow. (wrote one and it disappeared). Good night, my friend.
@myhalowithin9 ай бұрын
I've been censored again. I hope this day brings you a deep smile just for you! 🙏
@rickysomething37869 ай бұрын
Story 1: He's not going to change, that's who he is 2: the second you open the marriage, the marriage is over, this Dr. Is giving false hope. 3: She lied more than once. She can't be trusted...divorce is best for him.
@sherriwenrick209810 ай бұрын
I truly appreciate how honest you are. Listening to you has helped me be honest and open. It is a great feeling being free of secrets! Thank You!
@katiebrown777410 ай бұрын
There's nothing "normal" about a pornography addiction
@Tara-cv2kz10 ай бұрын
maybe not “normal,” but common
@kunknown234010 ай бұрын
Might as well be normal now.
@epsilona747210 ай бұрын
is normal synonymous with natural? or common? If certain behaviours are common among gamblers, wouldn't there be normal addictions and abnormal addictions? both are unhealthy, like even though snake bites are rare and bad, there'd be normal bites and abnormal ones right? or like if you get envenomated, it'd be normal to have to call an ambulance.
@stevie267310 ай бұрын
Statistically there is a normal version of everything. Normal is in reference to a normal distribution which states which percentage of people fall into a certain place on a spectrum. Therefore there are normal serial killers, normal pedophiles, and normal cannibals. They just represent the most common version of the group they are a part of, no matter how immoral or reprehensible that group may be. Notice how John says that he is calling it normal porn addiction because of the industry that he works. He has spoken with so many people with porn addiction, he can visualize the distribution of cases and can see that the case presented was not common amongst people with porn addiction and is therefore a statistical outlier and not normal.
@TheYoungCatholics9 ай бұрын
Right? That was just invalidating towards people who have gone through the trauma of finding out that their spouse is addicted to pron and/or entertaining chat room infidelity. This is such a man's response to something like that. Basically, "oh yeah, we've all been there" without addressing the trauma of having been completely betrayed. Just because it's ubiquitous doesn't mean it's not incredibly traumatic for the spouses who have to deal with it. The posting of pictures is just one branch of a huge betrayal.
@dianamerren13179 ай бұрын
This lady may be shocked that her friends don't think that her husband is that great .
@fowlermasonknoll10 ай бұрын
I’ve had a million therapists and drug counselors over the years. Dr John to me seems like he loves his job, is extremely good at it, and could definitely help me. However I would find it very hard to open up to him because I think I would desperately want him to like me. It’s weird how that can play a part in your (my) ability to be honest with someone.
@thomass.231110 ай бұрын
Couldn't torture that information out of me. You tell your friends and you and your husband will be the weirdos FOREVER.
@randolph721410 ай бұрын
Just discovered your channel few days ago and been binge watching ever since. I sent this one straight to mama. Lol. 👊🏻
@Leah-fs7qq9 ай бұрын
Oh my heart goes out to that 1st wife. I found out after 5yrs. I can't imagine finding pix of myself. I agree Dr. John says reach out to friends do it.
@Automalice10 ай бұрын
I stumbled upon this channel today and I’m hooked! Dr. Felony your advice is wonderful and fair and straightforward. Listening to you is very therapeutic
@Burlykim139 ай бұрын
Autocorrect…Dr Felony 😂😂😂
@abeal494 ай бұрын
The first caller said she doesnt know how to move forward. Everybody they know believes her husband is a wonderful guy. She hasn't found anyone to talk to, she feels isolated. Divorce does isolate you. I remember hearing "when you get a divorce, you find out who your friends are." Depending on how attractive you are, your married girlfriends might view the newly single you as a threat to their own marriages. Or their husbands think you will give their own wives the idea of leaving.
@KM-dx5wn2 ай бұрын
When John suggested to the first caller that she call in two of her close friends to share what's going on, I think it's important to realize that most of these women, such as the caller, do not have two good friends to rely on to share this with. It's not that they're not good people or worthy of friendships, it's just that women in these positions, who choose these awful partners, usually neglect to nurture or fail to build friendships because their marriages are filled with such underlying anxiety, they spend their time (or in this case, years) "marriage policing" their husbands, which sucks up all of their energy. You can't neglect friendships then wake up one morning and expect friends to suddenly be around.
@GreenGoddessCreativeАй бұрын
Sometimes it’s not about ‘how can I heal’ ‘how can I forgive’…some things just aren’t forgivable. Some boundaries cannot be crossed and then forgotten. Sometimes the damage is just too much. It’s Not on the recipient of that to have to overcome it for the rest of their lives.
@WhitneyTanАй бұрын
The first caller brought me back to a Frenchman case. Went online secretly finding people who would SA his wife after he drugged her. A whopping 72 heartless ppl SAed her after decades of her being drugged.
@amc39647 ай бұрын
“Everyone thinks he is perfect!” Yes you learn who your friends are. Also much you can’t tell - don’t tell - that’s isolating. You don’t want to embarrass anyone. I feel so isolated too! Unbelievable!! Wow. ❤️
@krystenburkhardt-hansyn10 ай бұрын
Dr Delony is the BEST and most HONEST psychologist today!
@alimoore96577 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for having the courage to share your story Rebbeca!!! You say it feels isolating but I can tell you I've been through the same exact thing with my ex. Although I am terribly sorry for your heartache, it is nice to know I'm not the only wife who was completely blindsided and lied to for years. I already know though, your doing better now. Thank you again!!!
@badabing661 Жыл бұрын
LOOOVE the digital echos on the “paaah-ra-pah-pah-puuum!” 😂
@ashvaz7060 Жыл бұрын
I was having a not so good Christmas morning but I feel better now lol merry Christmas y’all 🎅
@candaceewell958210 ай бұрын
I’m just discovering you and I’m mad I didn’t a few years ago! Delony is not full of bologna 😊 😂you are awesome 🤘
@elainenilsson5472 Жыл бұрын
Well, I identify with caller #1 and it has been 3 years. Still not healed.
@PetraHanner11 ай бұрын
Me too friend 😢
@cl519311 ай бұрын
22 years. Still not healed because very little changed.
@arfriedman457711 ай бұрын
I'm sorry. I imagine your spouse had porn addiction.
@fredflinstone660110 ай бұрын
Why are you with him
@elainenilsson547210 ай бұрын
We aren't.@@fredflinstone6601
@blah7694 Жыл бұрын
Can't believe this comes out on Christmas Day 😅
@ronaldaddison21462 ай бұрын
Caller No. 3. Straight off the bat she says "I am married, that's the PROBLEM".
@gregshell857010 ай бұрын
People get used to being the DOORMAT. It is hard for the abuser to change but it is also hard for you to change and not be the doormat. Concentrate on you.
@KG-bliss5 ай бұрын
That's sad
@FaithShorthouse3 ай бұрын
And partners who choose porn over you are emotionally abusing you. A lot of people don't understanding this and blame themselves for their partners abandonment.
@Sarah-bn1hg9 ай бұрын
I love how you help people and counsel them thru this hard time with your solid advice. Very sweet ❤
@elyserhyne2439 ай бұрын
Call 1 person needs to be careful. Very careful. There's a case where several husbands were posting pictures of their wives, drugging them, and "sharing" them while their wives were asleep. The wives had no idea what was happening while they were asleep. They were posting things like she said her husband was on forums. She needs to get legal protection from him. She needs to tell everyone so they can help protect her.
@Emma-yu9wb4 ай бұрын
I"m not convinced that full disclosure about an affair is always the way to go. Sometimes the partner just can't get past the betrayal, even if the marriage is fundamentally a strong one and they both want to save it. Even if they stay together, the wound remains open.
@eileenhetherington37043 ай бұрын
Totally agree. Confession is only to relieve one's conscience. If it was a one night stand and you have no STDs, suck it up buttercup and leave him out of your shame and guilt. Men cannot handle infidelity. You can scar a guy forever. Women are much more tolerant.
@ChildOfTheOneTrueAlmightyGod2 ай бұрын
Well, keeping your legs closed and pants up is always an option.
@victoriavitoroulis327311 ай бұрын
This is the first time I tuned in .. this is the kind of therapist we need where you feel the pain bc you know it’s the truth .. I can relate w the caller w her seeing her husband behind the mask , 😷 ugly truth is she never knew her so called friend / husband :😵💫
@yvettegg18066 ай бұрын
Reminds me why I love being single after 2 marriages. Never again do I want anyone interrupting my peace❤