I cried a LOT this week | VLOG 06

so this week I cry a lot, get open about my anxiety, talk about periods and head to my hometown for Nana Nicholson's 80th ❤
Vlog Chapters for ya:
Emotional Period Talk: 3:15
Getting Ready for FEBRUARY: 9:15
Emotional Anxiety Talk: 10:45
Going Home For Nana's Birthday: 14:40
Life Update : 17:15
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[@mimilokiss]

"I can be the only girl that spends the odd friday night pacing around in sweat pants, feeling anxious and listening to instrumental music." ... You are not, and thank you for saying that, cause it made me realize that I'm also not the only one. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable, it really helps those of us who go through the same thing and think we shouldn't talk about it because it's "weird", cause it's NOT... It's human, and you just made me realize that.

[@jenna4678]

Well. Said. 👏🏻 as one anxious sweatpants-wearing-instrumental-music-loving girl to another, I love you and I’m here for you!

[@bopadoologan]

Yes! 👏🏻👍🏻👌🏻

[@AlyssaAllDayVlogs]

Same. I love this vlog.

[@monikaloevenmark92]

me tooooo

[@RexT18]

Me too! I thought it was just me and kept feeling so stupid and alone.

[@user-ep8bk5ku6g]

LET'S ALL CRY TOGETHER

[@KalynNicholson]

I'll bring the vegan half baked ben & jerry's

[@sashalynn3264]

KZbinrs and/ or content creators seem to have so much pressure on themselves to live a oicture perfect life all the time, but at the end of the day youre still a human. You have bad days and good days like everybdy else. And the fact that you are showing this side of yourself is amazing. More people should be more raw and open (: you got this girl! You're an amazing human.

[@xoxVixen17]

I've been watching your channel(s) for years now and have always been huge fan, but I am 100% here for the new real-AF-Kalyn vibes. It is so helpful to see other people in real moments where they struggle with life/anxiety/whatever. It's something that made a huge difference to me a few years ago when I realized I was dealing with anxiety/depression and it continues to make a difference when other people talk about dealign with the same stuff! It just makes me feel less crazy or something idk. Sending you lots of good vibes! (also I also had tons of anxiety in this same week so..synchronicities idk lol >_< )

[@Feliciasam]

Really really loving these vlogs ! also thank you for being so transparent with us ! Girl power!

[@kelcib4515]

I’m sure it is super hard but I actually really appreciate when you share the harder times with us...the crying, the anxiety. It’s real (not to say that everything else isn’t) and we aren’t just seeing someone’s highlight reel. And that is really refreshing. So thank you. 💗💗 Also, I’d love more of your thoughts on Miss Americana because I thought it was amazing! My only critique is that I wanted it to be longer haha

[@KateSh8]

Excited for February, I would love to see deep clean process, zen practics, also would be interesting to see more in depth how you "close" month and preparing for next one

[@Thefitty]

*Can we make these weekly vlogs a regular thing?! I'm super loving them! So, so much.*

[@katrinavossler2196]

Definitely interested in seeing your decluttering/cleaning out your house

[@icedcoffeeandbookss]

My depression has came back and has been with me for the past few weeks or so so I understand you a bit. We will get through it ❤️ I started therapy again on Monday and go again this coming Monday (:

[@ashleequillen]

I love how real you are. 🖤

[@makaylarobinson68]

Girl this made my whole week. "where the fuck is the moon" me as helll. lol You're truly an inspiration

[@kathrynpugh7928]

Oh my gosh this is so weird but this week has been insanely stressful at work for me too. Week from hell tbh. Also on my period so I feel ya.

[@eminprogress8420]

This has been a crying week. I've been dealing with constant low anxiety attacks with spikes of panic attacks and crying randomly all week. Need to get those tears and emotions out!

[@JuleahEverglade]

"What's wrong with the moon right now" hahahahahahahhaahah me asf when I'm randomly emotional

[@courtneynicole7724]

What tool do you use to get your hair like it is in the part where you show the TSwift vibey outfit?! I LOVE!!!

[@clearlycristal4313]

It’s admirable that instead of beating yourself up about how clothes fits smaller you’re accepting it and getting rid of the clothes. I know you’ve struggled with your weight image as you’ve told us before so We’re very proud that you’re really sticking to seeing weight as healthy and not negatively!!!

[@Thefitty]

I really acknowledge her for this too! It's not easy to admit in public, and it's not easy to accept oneself. 💓

[@KalynNicholson]

Vlog Chapters for ya: 💋 Emotional Period Talk: 3:15 Getting Ready for FEBRUARY: 9:15 Emotional Anxiety Talk: 10:45 Going Home For Nana's Birthday: 14:40 Life Update : 17:15 question for ya, do you think our emotions are a result of our thoughts or our thoughts are a result of our emotions?

[@KimberlyEsmee]

I think our emotions are a result of our thoughts. ✨ Love that you're so open in this vlog!

[@mscliffhazel]

I'm really emotional when I am having my period and I can't help it. It's a girl thing.

[@fatouhr9760]

Hi Kalyn, such a nice vlog again! 🧡 I think that pour emotions are result of our thoughts, but it happens that we get emotional for not a clear tought or reason, and that is normal, and it is good to let it out ! Thank you for sharing this with us, we feel less lonely in those moments 🙈 For February, I would really like to see more if your yoga practice, and batch cooking 🧡🤗 Love !

[@joyisnotaboy]

I think it's bidirectional or even circular (thoughts, emotions, and actions) all influencing each other and I think (or rather psychological theories) that you can actively influence emotions through actions or thoughts (being kind to yourself in thoughts and actions when feeling sad or down, accepting the way you feel instead of wrestling the feelings, like one popular song says "it's okay not to be okay".

[@lildreamxxx]

I think our thoughts control our emotions to a certain point. But I think heavy emotions can take over control and that can control our thoughts. Does this make sense?

[@sophiaupshaw4980]

this video... HIT. DIFFERENT. im having the exact same type of week right now, and to see someone else going through it (and making it out ok) is so comforting.

[@KalynNicholson]

hang in there and keep crying it out -- feels good 💜💜

[@karavdb8688]

Saaame, it's been tough but things can always change. Xx

[@violentfemme30]

Same ❤

[@ori5010]

Same here!

[@zzz36999]

SAME! STAY STRONG!

[@jenna4678]

**crying** I GOTTA FIND OUT WHERE THE MOON IS AT MAN Dude, this was so real. Thank you so much for being transparent. This past month has been EFFING HARD

[@huh_nee_bee]

I get told I’m too sensitive a lot so it really helps that’s you’re open with us 😘 thank you girly. You’re doing great

[@KalynNicholson]

we can stay soft together, it's a good thing ❤

[@Lunadrella]

omg same

[@RockDiva54]

This is something that I don't even _get_ told but rather something _I tell myself._ I appreciate this vlog SO much.

[@juliannag8884]

I get told this too. It makes me feel like I’m just a big baby sometimes because they kind of just tell you you’re sensitive instead of telling you that it’s okay to cry about things.

[@admirbarucija2018]

I’m proud of you for being so open, crying is perfectly normal and part of what makes us human!! I hope you’re having a terrific week Kalyn 💓

[@summerv6602]

Isn't it weird how this was the week I was crying a lot and then Kalyn uploads this video? I feel a lot better now

[@beachbabe784]

Me too 😭

[@abigailmaquera783]

SAME

[@meghanasbell946]

Same this last couple weeks has been rough 😪

[@birtcher21]

Omg same wtf!!

[@bleedingwolfsbane]

I'm the same when my period hits. Just crying over everything. But seeing this side of you, is so helpful. Makes me feel like my anxiety is okay. Love you Kayln. Thank you for being authentic with us. 💙

[@aubrey-rosestacy3827]

"i'm telling you man... we gotta find out where the moon's at, like this has got to be.. this can't be normal!" haha! i love you kalyn. thanks for being so open, it's always refreshing and appreciated.

[@marmalademol]

Aubrey-Rose Stacy mercury retrograde- and we’re coming up to Pisces season!

[@qg4263]

Hi Kalyn, I'm having the hardest time in my life right now. Having anxiety depression and problems with my heart. I started listening to your podcast a few weeks ago and when i listen it calms me down. So i wanted to thank you for the content that you make and i look forward to every video and every podcast you post. ❤

[@yyvaasd9654]

Girl you track everything track ya period hahah

[@KalynNicholson]

I do but she dropped a week early 😅

[@hibak8196]

@@KalynNicholson dang it that must have been annoying

[@GalitBal]

Calming music always helps me when my emotions are running wild. I think that as women we are absorbing too much from our body, people around us, the world and nature.

[@KalynNicholson]

thiisssss thoooooo

[@queeneva3]

‘I can’t be the only girl pacing around in sweatpants having an anxiety attack’ Girl you have no idea how you filming this affected me. Like I’m not a vlogger but I totally understand the ‘you can’t film an anxiety attack’ statement. I’ve been in a rut for 6 months now, last week being the worst of it that I immediately started therapy. I mean I was literally scared for my life of how emotional I was. And I wasn’t on my period (which is not the root but always heightens emotions. I literally asked the therapist if she can give me a diagnosis and she literally told me to FEEL MY FEELINGS. She said the feelings don’t always have a root they are just feelings and you need to let them through in order to find what’s underneath. I know I’m not saying something groundbreaking I just wanted to let you know that your frustration, watching you pacing and holding your crystals when anxious is things I do daily and always judge myself for. This just brought me back to the ‘feel your feelings’ advice and I wanted to say you’re not the only girl out there going through that. Hope this week treats you better 🧡✨

[@Sanaalikhanvlogs]

Stay strong

[@Sanaalikhanvlogs]

❤️

[@rachaelbilodeau]

ITS OKAY TO CRY🥰😥

[@MamaSlaney]

I was the same way this month before I got my period! It literally felt like my life was falling around me and than I got my period and I was like ohhhhh ya makes sense! Hahaha love being a girl! Not 😩 Loving your vlogs this year!

[@marmalademol]

Mama Slaney happens to me every damn month

[@AfterCoffeeWithJess]

Yes sameeee! This needs to be talked about more!

[@brendah8508]

I’m so emotional and anxious today so I’m almost crying because I feel safe knowing others experience this from time to time. 🖤 Thank you.

[@shalaka.5963]

"where the f*ck is the moon" LOLLLLL that cracked me up amidst all the tears. if it makes you feel any better, i've been a crying mess all week too so i'm surprised the moon isn't to blame. thank you for being so real with us. sending you lots of love and light

[@seadina8646]

“Shit man, can’t catch a break this week” is mood. I’ve been an emotional mess this past week as well. The randomest of things would make me tear up and cry. Also “where the fuck is the moon?” cracked me up, I wonder that as well when my mood changes

[@jennysterg322]

I was a second away from bursting to tears on Monday, but in my case it was due to exhaustion. I’ve been juggling full-time work and a part-time further education course since September. I was also on call over the weekend (covering Saturday morning till Monday morning at 08:59am) which ended up with me being at work for 10 hours on Saturday and 5 hours on Sunday, plus being available on the phone all remaining hours. Monday was a study day and I was trying to study and prepare for an exam today and a face-to-face assessment tomorrow. I was barely managing despite loads of caffeine. Then while I was listening to instrumental music (helps me concentrate) an emotional song came on and I almost lost it. I was in a library so I held it in at the time. At least I know myself quite well by now and I pretty soon caught on as to why I was feeling this way, and forced myself to stop feeling sorry for myself. Sending hugs your way 🤗 x

[@emilyroseellis]

Kalyn, I love you. This is so refreshing. Been watching for years and this is by far one of my favorite vlogs. Thank you for being so candid and real. As always you are such an inspiration. Gon go get my gyst hoodie on and get to work! 😋🙌💝 xxoo

[@OzleyASMR]

Wow. This vlog really took my appreciation and respect for you up another level. 💜

[@miriambing2162]

Only Reading the title and i‘m already like „yup I feel you“

[@KelsVaughne]

Also I am so stoked for you about your ytt! My husband and I live in Bali and I’m starting my ytt on feb 11 as well! Bali is a magical place. You’re going to love it here! ✨

[@kaylakosta8476]

"there was a... hair on you" haha ily

[@chronicbarracudalove]

Been following for years and, damn, you are doing an amazing job. At life, at KZbin, at Koze...seriously. So much growth - I totally look forward to these weekly vlogs. Please keep going - you’re killin it!!!! Also - where is the “left my demons on read” merch??? Did it sell out already?

[@pattyX15]

I'm sorry, but I busted out laughing when you were like, "Where the fuck is the moon?"

[@kimberlyrepe6672]

I am super hormonal atm and crying over everything for no reason so this is perfect timing 😅😂 Love ya girlie! ❤💕

[@sandradebrito3855]

I love this side of you. It's real, raw, and we feel closer to you. It's relatable. While the advice coffee talks are nice and inspiring, sometimes it feels detached. More of this!

[@rowanaw17]

THE NOTIF POPPED UP ON MY SCREEN I WAS LIKE VIBE

[@AmandaShawxo]

Girl... this has literally been my week too!!

[@britneyreynolds6842]

Amanda Shaw it’s something in the atmosphere stg because same.

[@karavdb8688]

Saaame

[@togabae3908]

You ever look up at the moon and stare in awe and wonder, feeling that powerful connection and amazement at that fact that it exist and sense that maybe just maybe there is a little magic in the universe? Watching this video was like that. Kayln this raw side of you is real so very real and I can honestly say I felt connected to you. Thank you for sharing yourself with is. You are not most definitely not the only girl in her jammies pacing around in the dark listening to tunes soaking in the colors of the lights trying to get out of her head yet locked in regardless. You were my moon in this one. Always rooting for you ✨

[@m3l0nad3]

I'm on the last day of my period today and I'm just like bawling my eyes out watching your vlog lol. I'm with you Kalyn!!!!

[@rach9497]

You're my all time favourite youtuber. You've inspired me soooo much over the years! Take care of yourself though! You're the best! ❤

[@AlyssaAllDayVlogs]

I appreciate you. And this vlog. ❤️ You’re definitely not alone in feeling like this. People just don’t talk about it and it’s so taboo unfortunately. I feel you, girl. Anxiety blows.

[@directionbeauty726]

Kalyn: *sobbing* where the f*ck is the moon!? OK MEEEEEEEEEE

[@MadeleinetheVillageWitch]

Hey, Kalyn! First of all, I just want to say that I think you are fulfilling a part of your larger life‘s purpose that you talked about in this video by communicating your vulnerability to a huge group of people who might otherwise suspect that you don’t have those kind of moments. 💗 But secondly, as an astrologer, I think that you were actually picking up on something about the degree of emotionality you’re feeling and wondering if it had something to do with the moon. I don’t know your whole birth chart of course, but I know your birthday is coming up, so that means that the sun is in your 12th house, the final house of the zodiac before it restarts the cycle in your 1st house on your birthday, which is your Solar Return. I call this your personal New Year. But until that solar return, planets are traveling through the 12th house, which is the house of endings, memories, sacrifices, and unfinished business. It’s like the clearing the skeletons out of the closet time. So I figure your skeletons just came out of the closet and wanted to converse with you. 💗 I just wanted to say that in case it makes you feel a little more aligned. You’re not off path; you are right where you’re supposed to be having the revelations you need to have before you start your new year. 💗🎉 I hope this helps! Much love and appreciation to you for all that you do!

[@MiJa-kh4kp]

If this isn't a vibe I don't know what is! 💫❤️💫❤️

[@er4327]

You are the sweetest thing ever. "Where the F**k is the moon?" I didn't know whether to give you a hug or laugh my head off. Watching you in your raw real awesomeness is a treat. Kalyn, to me you are a walking beautiful Becca Lee poem. Love you, girl. And I also cried at the Taylor Swift documentary not to mention how much I hate my period. A girl who rocks this much when she's low, should be cloned.🤗❤

[@jessicaherrington535]

Somethings is definitely in the air or something this week. I've been sooo emotional this week. I had some of the same thoughts that you shared as well. From the ending of your video it gives me hope that tomorrow might be better 🙂

[@haileymontgomery500]

I was really emotional this week too. Nothing was physically wrong I just felt in a hole. Then I got my period and it all made sense😂

[@Meg-mx9bm]

"the f is the moon" MEEE every time I'm upset haha i would rather blame my emotions on the moon then deal with then lol.

[@HarryThomasPictures]

I’ve also cried so much this week it’s been hard, hope your okay❤️. Happiest of Birthdays to your Nana🎂🎉!

[@KalynNicholson]

Hope you're okay too ❤️❤️

[@KelsVaughne]

I love this vlog soooooo much! It’s so freaking relatable for us women ! Shark week is upon me in the next two days and I’m getting emotional watching you getting emotional haha I also woke up yesterday morning on the verge of an anxiety attack alllll morning and now it makes so much since. I didn’t realize my period comes already. How does a month go by soooooo fast lol

[@abigailmaquera783]

WOW. I just wanted to say thank you so much for this video and for being you and being so open and raw and honest about your feelings on a tough topic that’s not easy to discuss on camera but yet us women go through this every month. This is me before and during my period, an emotional mess (I’m also a Pisces too so v emotional). I was experiencing what you were going through this week and it was so refreshing and comforting to watch this video and not feel so alone in going through this. Again, thank you so much, I’ve been a longtime subscriber and much love from a fellow very emotional Piscean ♋️💞

[@itslivb]

CRYING ALONG WITH YOU BECAUSE IM HORMONAL THIS WEEK TOO

[@Qtneyjane]

Girl. You are so strong. I love the direction your channel is taking. I know it’s scary to be vulnerable, but you’ve told so many girls today that they are normal. And in turn I hope all of us saying we relate, also helps you feel like your emotions are valid and totally normal. 🥰

[@JonthaLinks]

Hey so cool to hear our song "Let Her Know" @2:13!! Follow us @jonthalinks if you want to hear more!

[@djijifashion]

Literally watching this in the first day of my period and I've been very emotionally sad for the past 3 days. crying about nothing my husband got really worried 😅

[@emilyn9449]

I am literally so glad you put in that honest/open talk about how your period fucks with your emotions because I am sitting here when I was supposed to go out with friends, but have been super emotional all day and I just do not want to socialize. You made me feel less crazy/weird and I was like ok, it is probably my hormones. I just feel to the extreme, like you said and it’s crazy haha.

[@emilyjones1]

Where the fuck is the moon?? 😂 I love you Kayln, thanks for sharing your more vulnerable sides. You are so brave 😍😍

[@risharaniga5525]

Love how your opening up in your vlogs! Out of interest, will you vlog your yoga teacher training? And where will it be? ❤️

[@annamariee143]

Absolutely gorgeous video. Thank you for being yourself and sharing. I was starting to feel like the only one whose anxiety flares up so so bad that time of the month

[@bridgetcarlson6247]

I usually never comment on videos, but I’ve been watching you for years and recently my life has been kind of testing me too. Balancing college, a boyfriend , family, friends, and a sorority is so hard and makes me anxious all the time. It’s really comforting to know I’m not alone in that feeling. Stay strong & I love the vlogs💗

[@Thefitty]

💓 *I acknowledge you for sharing this. It takes immense courage to accept it yourself, and to speak it in public. For that, I think you're even more beautiful now than before.*

[@MoonMascot]

oh my, I'm not alone, hahah...that happens to me too lately, I cry over the whole world and feel so lonely. But the next day it all comes clear lol

[@joyh143]

Possibly one of my favourite vlogs of yours. It’s refreshing to see the realness. Know you are not alone in those feelings! Keep creating and sharing, it means more than you realize. 💛🤗

[@ZoeyArielle]

You’re always beautiful inside and out ❤️❤️ keep shining your light... those pesky periods get us in the feels sometimes, and definitely trigger healing, but you’re always stronger on the other side 😊 thanks for making us all feel less alone 🙏🏼✨

[@Vimarobabooks]

I don't know why but seeing you cry was very cathartic for me, because I cry at least once a week for really no reason except that I just have an overload of emotions that I need to release. Not even necessarily bad or sad. ANyway, happy birthday to your nana, may we all aspire to be as cute at 80!

[@maylladequeiroz1434]

You’re so fucking amazing!!!

[@boomcdonough4423]

wow. i am watching this while bleeding out of my vagina and man do i resonate with your feelings! thank you for always keeping it real!

[@Ggggc14]

What song was that at the beginning?! Miguel?!

You saying goodbye in Spanish is the best! Me encanta! Spanish fan over here🙆

[@milkywaymo]

this really made me realize I'm not alone when mother nature visits. Plus I'm also a Pisces hahahaha so that makes the emotions ROLL

[@katehurst3351]

I also cried an alarming amount that week, there must have been something in the air!

[@milliondollarlady]

Thank you for sharing this! More power to you

[@lesleybruce426]

This is definitely my favourite video of yours that you've done recently. I loved it so much. I've also been having an emotional and crazy anxious week due to my period and honestly to see that reflected in someone else, it's so reassuring, I feel like this video is a big massive hug, does that make sense?.. I really felt like I got to know you this week, like you weren't talking to thousands of people but just me and to create that kind of connection in content made for lots of people is a serious skill. I've been following you for years and love everything you do, this was just on a different level though. It was bold and brave and it paid off so much so thank you for this one Kalyn. I also got a good, sympathetic chuckle from your clips from Tuesday of you just crying it out and at your emosh chat towards the end.. "Where is the moon?? This cannot be NORMAL!!" 😂 I'm not saying you should cry in all your videos I just loved seeing the more emotional side of you, it was very powerful and honest. You're rockin it 😘 Love from Scotland x

[@MsJoee21]

Lol I clicked on this video even before the notification came in :P Hi Kalyn!!

[@mauriceonfilm]

title is January's mood

[@KalynNicholson]

LOL true tho

[@erimae15]

“There was a hair on you” 🤣🤣 cracked me up.

[@MadeleinetheVillageWitch]

OMG not to mention the Pluto/Saturn conjunction that is putting SO MUCH PRESSURE on all of us to have uncomfortable realizations and evolve. This shit is hard, man! Be kind to yourselves and each other, y’all! 💗🌙

[@epicherbalism]

Love tracking my cycle so when I think "Ug why and I so sad and bloated!?" I can look and go "Oh yeah, I start my period in two days, and proceed to pamper myself a bit and give myself that space, knowing that it's perfectly natural and part of my cycle :) (Also that + ovulation test strips makes understanding your fertility (to promote or avoid pregnancy) a lot more clear.

[@cortneygant2120]

Emotions are normal. Just releasing energy through your body that doesnt need to be there anymore. I enjoyed. Thanks for sharing your life with all of us. You're amazing. ❤

[@samanthabissell22]

when emotional days I recommend listening to good day as some of the lyrics are it’s gonna be a good day just wait and see as it helps boost your energy and helps when it comes to if you’re emotional etc fabulous video

[@MakeupForGlasses]

Girl I hear you. The friday night sweatpants/anxious pacing hit hard. I'm so curious to know what myers briggs personality type you are if you know? :)

[@allimarie1174]

Girl!!! This has been my MOOD this week!!! I feel you!!! You are NOT ALONE!!! 💕💕💕 sending you so much love!!!!!!!!

[@MarciaPze]

Yoga teacher training! Wow! What a goal of mine! Btw, I feel you girl! When my period comes it's the worst, but it's also good to let go and cry sometimes. You're beautiful inside and out Kalyn! Remember that! Stay real and strong! We can do this sister!

[@EJ-vn4pv]

Instead of Coffee Talks let’s have Coffee Cries 😭😭😭 no words just real tears

[@gone_mad_entirley]

I feel like you are an empath!! It explains a lot of your feelings and also your anxiety as well. When I discovered this for myself it really helped me a lot. Also since you love to read I have a book you should check out that will help you it helped me a lot. It's called Llewellyn's Little Book of Empathy. Keep being you I love you so much you always fill my days with a lot of joy and happiness and you help me feel connected to the world.

[@TheLonerStoner]

I cant tell you how much this video means , knowing you deal with the same shit and seeing you've managed to still create this environment for yourself, that gives me hope for myself. You rock Kayln dont forget that.

[@quaseglam]

I'd love to see more Yoga and also instructions and hacks that you've learned while practicing it!

[@venuselektra2647]

On period, feeling all the feels “ where the fuck is the moon right now” calms down realizes “the moon is not to blame “ 😄 It’s ok to cry sweet girl 💋

[@evitamantzani]

we are like the same person, personality , character, interests, emotional, the same jodiac, anxiety omg 🌹 and i love u so much. This week was so emotional for me too // period yeayyy 😒❣️

[@kboraali5706]

THis is exactly what happens to me,,,, thank you for sharing