I don't want children -- stop telling me I'll change my mind | Christen Reighter

[@Antique_engineer_]

I always get the “Who is going to care for you when you get old?!” ugh kids are not a retirement plan.

[@qumbersome5106]

Yeah, my parents see me as their retirement plan since the day I unwillingly popped out of my mother's vagina. I'll be damned if they stop me from adopting, I'm not going through the hassle of squeezing a small human out of my body when so many kids who are alive have nobody to look up to.

[@Sarahizahhsum]

That's what a 401k is for!

[@thesoliloquist1940]

They will put you in a nursing home.. there is no return for having kids..

[@tiff7880]

I get that too. My favorite that I've ever gotten was this...... "Your life is worth nothing until you have children"... Well....I guess I'll just go step in front of a bus then!

[@anitamhlongo4443]

True and it's sad...

[@auralangst6177]

As the child of parents who hated having children and who endured the emotional abuse they inflicted daily, I encourage anyone who isn't 100% sure they want children to not have them..

[@LucareonVee]

Witch Chan Yet not everyone wants the same kind of family.

[@amyrussell5126]

I agree. So many people should never have had children. Children deserve to be loved and wanted.

[@linkinlog8543]

Witch Chan Your parents should have gone to therapy. That’s what they needed. And a divorce.

[@LittleKitty22]

Same here - I was unwanted and had to endure severe abuse, physical, sexual, spiritual and emotional abuse, and severe neglect. I had to endure numerous attempts to kill me, and I have to live with the knowledge that I was born 3 months early because I survived the botched abortion. Even after my birth they tried to just quietly do away with me, in fact they didn't register my birth until 10 days after my birth because they hoped they could quietly do away with me. It is only thanks to my grandmother that they didn't succeed. All my siblings were done away with via abortions. My so-called "parents" also hated children and were far too interested in pursuing their high flying careers to bother with them. On a daily basis it was made clear to me that I was in the way, and I got shoved off to other people at every opportunity. They even went so far as to deny me my identity, ie they lied about my background, my ethnic background, the family history, my cultural background. I had to establish what my race is via a DNA test, and have struggled all my life to get people to even believe me that I am the race I am. They stole my inheritance (from grandparents) from me, leaving me in extreme poverty instead of in considerable wealth (I am from a wealthy family). I have subsequently suffered lifelong abuse as people assume that I am just another uneducated down and out/drug addict/low IQ delinquent from a rundown background. I have suffered every kind of abuse, and continue to suffer this to this day - and I'm in my forties. Every day people make it clear to me that I am a useless existence, and more people than I can count would be only too happy if I would just die off without making a fuss. Yup, that's what happens to those of us who have always been unwanted - society learns that we are unwanted, and they consider us as much as unwanted as the people who gave birth to us. If only people who actually want children have them, and people who don't want them use birth control - the world would be a much better place, and nobody would need to suffer the kind of abuse that unwanted children have to suffer.

[@vaderladyl]

@@LittleKitty22 I am sorry for what you had to go through but my question is Why did they have children in the first place if they didn't want them? Social pressure?

[@krystalsaucedo5842]

I want kids. I want to be a mom. She does not want kids. She does not want to be a mom. Nobody fights me on my opinion but she has to validate hers to anyone who asks her to. I’m glad she made this talk.

[@rochekalifa2074]

Wel thats your opinion ,what do you think wil happend if everyone stops making kids.we just need a balance breeding is a natural thing in life.

[@andrjuska9556]

Mr.Antimatter Yea, let's all stop reproducing and die. What's the point of living anymore? What's the point of humanity? (-_-)

[@lazyperfectionist3978]

Aндреј Бугариновић that's because there *is* no reason but pure chance for us to even be here right now. Quite frankly, I refuse to bring in *another* *living* *being* , and this is literally one of our own kind and not a goddamn pet like we treat them to be, without a valid reason. Wanting to raise children, genuinely wanting to, and being responsible for them, that is a valid reason because she actually wants to have them. Me, I'm not willing to put another human being through the realisation that life and existence, especially their own, has no value whatsoever, and every little thing we do is worthless nonsense. If anything, humanity should drink the Kool-Aid, as the saying goes, and save it the trouble of doing so later. I refuse to contribute to the retarded repopulation system we have set up, and if I want a child I'll fucking adopt one.

[@andrjuska9556]

Oh, boy. Another nihilistic comment. >Wanting to raise children, genuinely wanting to, and being responsible for them, that is a valid reason because she actually wants to have them Bullseye! I absolutely agree. I will also add few more valid reasons why would I also like to have children: to continue my family's bloodline, to contribute to the population (before you say: "OVERPOPULATION!", notice that I live in Balkan, where mortality is scarily bigger than natality. Why, you ask? Two reasons: a lot of emmigrants, and because there's just too much people who think like you. Also, the entire Western world is not overpopulated as some may say. It's about the East, where every family has like +4 children. But I digress.), to raise, guide and nurture young minds the best I can, in order to make them good people and that will do great contributions to our society. Those parents who think of their children as "pets", as you formulated it, are a minority, those idiots should never have children. Please, don't generalise it and badmouth every single parent like that, because, I'm certain, there are much more parents in this entire world who genuinely take care of their children and fulfill their duties as they should. >... the realisation that life and existence, especially their own, has no value whatsoever, and every little thing we do is worthless nonsense. >...there *_is_* no reason but pure chance for us to even be here right now. We are stumbling into philosophical questions now, but I will bite it. This is precisely why I called your comment nihilistic. The tone of your thoughts is really dark, darker than it should be, if you ask me. It's true tho, there is no _objective_ reason for us to live (unless we say from biological perspective that our reason is solely to reproduce, which I only partly agree with). But, this is what makes us _human_ - we are intelligent living beings, and we are able to give ourselves meaning, a reason, a "why?" that will drive us forward. I think that the meaning of life is to find its meaning; that's where it's beauty lies, in the search for something that makes you fulfilled. Objectively, nothing has a value, but for humans, beings that have souls: everything has. Also, there's one interesting thought from Dostoevsky's "The Brothers Karamazov" which is a very nice, and concise counterargument about us not having the absolute, objective reason to live: _We must love life more than the meaning of life._ NOTHING is worthless, NOTHING is valueless. I rest my case. >if I want a child, I'll fucking adopt one. Sure, that's fine by me. I'll just say two more things to finish this comment: - Be thankful you got the chance to be here, alive. Be thankful to your parents. If you can't appreciate life, then that's your problem. A big problem. - If everyone had this pessimistic reasoning of yours, we'd do nothing, progress nowhere, stay in caves, and humanity would eventually be extinct. There would be also no kids left to adopt, because everyone would be adults or elders, there would be no children anymore. Have a nice day.

[@klimtklavier]

krystal I hope you have lovely children and your choice makes you happy.

[@allankuria9923]

Look, children, by virtue of their innocence, deserve to be raised by people who actually WANT to raise them. Never let anyone shame you for not wanting kids because not wanting kids is a perfectly good reason not to have them.

[@sciencenerd777]

EXACTLY 💯

[@JaneG]

period.

[@ellathreasa]

period

[@jmeistur2879]

PERIOD SIS

[@winkydinky1436]

so true.

[@javelinnia3203]

Some people think that blood connection is what makes people a family. Surprise: your husband/wife is not blood-connected to you. Still you call them family.

[@qumbersome5106]

EXACTLY, you pulled the words right out of my mouth, thank you.

[@deekshamudgal6298]

I I legit stood up and clapped U BE SPEAKING F A C T S!

[@catbatrat1760]

And pets. Y'all think I'm blood-related to a cat or something? XD

[@applejuice8271]

I love my stepdad^^

[@Maevemarlowe]

And if your partner is blood related to you... something is off

[@rimun5235]

The same people criticizing her would also be the ones going "If you didn't want a child, why did you have one?" If she had had children. The reality is, there are a lot of parents who regret having kids. There are even parents who genuinely hate their kids. There are also parents who are complete toxic.

[@zelamorre1126]

The same people who don't want women to have another baby because she can't afford them would be the same ones yelling at a different woman that she should have kids while she's young. People are so messed up about a total stranger's decisions about procreation.

[@gracecolville3849]

Yeah. I'd rather have a world where every child is loved than a world with more children but those with bad lives

[@samanthahagan]

Mark Hamptonlingly'd and this is why people won’t have an honest conversation before conceiving: your attitude RIGHT HERE. Not everyone finds kids cute, it’s great that you do, but you don’t get to force everyone else to think and feel the same way you do.

[@klimtklavier]

Well then get busy getting pregnant. I love it when these indignant teste owners try to shame females into being brood mares.

[@tinahuttner7280]

Rimu N right on, I'm 39 and have no regrets of not having a child, plus I quite frankly don't want to be obligated towards the father of the child and I wouldn't have the means to adopt although I'm an adoptee myself.

[@eviechang847]

I don't get why everyone gets surprised whenever someone says that they don't want a child.

[@heatherchando5873]

not spreading your gene pool

[@LucareonVee]

Phoebe Chando Again, why the surprise? Not everyone wants that.

[@raiezy]

@Rey de País not everyone claims that lmao

[@suziezurfreiheit6825]

Because most of the time it's our hormones that tell us to recreate and not our brain. It's as simple as that. Have you met anyone who has said "oh, it was a conscious decision that made me have kids"? Noone ever. We as the human species have evolved in so many ways, but here we're just like rabbits.

[@LucareonVee]

Suziezur Freiheit That’s usually a discussion of couples. Unless you think every birth was an accident. ;)

[@stephaniepersin4145]

You can’t be selfish to something that doesn’t exist. No woman is obligated to procreate.

[@bigbay1159]

Exactly, men or woman should not be judged or forced into believing their value is tied to procreation.

[@stephaniepersin4145]

@@bigbay1159 problem is there is more of a pressure for women to become breeders that is why women in their 20s who are adults can’t get sterilized as easy as men. Kick in men (patriarchal society) want to control a woman’s body after she becomes pregnant and the sire has no financial and moral obligation to be responsible.

[@bigbay1159]

@@stephaniepersin4145 My statement isn't to remove anyone's struggles. My statement is to point out that nobody regardless of why or personal opinion has the right to place any expectations on something that is not there's or impacting them directly. It's not a game of who has it worst, the principle is my point, NO ONE should be gas lighted into accepting a life choice that they do not want.

[@stephaniepersin4145]

@@bigbay1159 women have it worse than men. I’ve heard of too many women who were married, that when it ended, SHE was stuck 100% with the financial responsibilities of raise offspring than males. Males can run away when the going gets tough.

[@bigbay1159]

@@stephaniepersin4145 You Clearly have a bias, not once was this a game of comparisons. BOTH have issues, if you want to use anicdotcal evidence I've personally seen men denied access to their children while they pay everything for no reason. Happened with my own father as my siblings as kids. Not once did I remove any difficulty from either woman or men but again you have this personal damage that won't let you stop trying to one up

[@miacmiacmia]

When you say “I don’t want children” most people say “you say that now, you will regret it later” but no one says the same about having a child, THAT is a choice that will change your life completely

[@kaylina081]

YES!

[@JoeySavage]

I'm 27 no kids and ima CEO my uncle 55 no kids my cuzin 43 she has no kids we all are good my sisters have kids they life is mirrsserble having kids is real I know the ones who have kids are pissed off and wish they never made that choice cant fool me I know better cant persuade me to change my mind either I dint care what yall say I dont want kids dint at 18 dont now at 27 I love my freedom I'm healthy I'm good I have lernt at a young age if you want to be fully free dont have kids I know what that means now as a CEO I'm glad I listen to my elders when I was 18 to yall who dint listen too bad yall mad cause you cant make us make that same mistake I love this video its says a lot 🙂

[@sarahvaladez6780]

I got pregnant and was going to abort, then decide to do adoption. My mom stole all my mail and paperwork, convinced me to keep the kid or I'll regret it. So I tried the mom thing for 5 months before finding a happy loving couple. I took care of him 110% and I still knew that being a mom was not my thing. My mother, the one that had me keep the child would come in drunk and wake him from his nap and smoke with him in her arms while she vomits over the bed. I had to lock my room with a dead bolt to stop her from taking him in the middle of the night. I moved out with the child and was finally able to find a loving family. I truly tried to do the mom thing I got dippers, cute toys, cloths, beautiful baby crib, everything, when he cried I was there for him. But to this day 5 year from then I still don't regret the adoption.

[@ballsmahoney8684]

Mia, you don’t have children do you?

[@miacmiacmia]

Balls Mahoney I dont, and I don’t want to, but I have seen people struggling with their kids all my life, including my own parents, and as a child realising that it really takes away your wish of being a parent

[@minecraftkitten1883]

I always tell ppl, I'd rather regret not having kids than regret having kids.

[@sablewings2693]

Preach!

[@goodokay922]

True

[@RevasulahnOfCyrodiil]

That is what i always say to people, so glad someone else thinks that too!

[@_jenni_jenni_jenni_615]

Same here lol

[@debralee2201]

Thank you Minecraft Kitten!!! Nice to know that there are still some caring and insightful peeps in this lifetime x

[@cryss7819]

"The truth is, I'd only removed a single path to Parenthood. I never needed biology to form a family anyway" The wisest words I've ever heard tbh

[@rolandnapitupulu]

Crys S BULLSHIT !!! She is just not able to be pregnant. Cracked womb. Lots of women like this telling bullshit. It is facts.

[@sfigataa.69]

@@CreatorItachii If you're just here to argue, please just leave 😊 thank you!

[@horizontoday7874]

MysticKoolaid808 Once society grabs a hold of hardwiring someone, they will oppose you even when facts prove them wrong hun! It almost becomes literally IMPOSSIBLE to reroute their brain. It’s part of a mental condition called cognitive dissonance. Not worth the argument.

[@sfigataa.69]

Cinema Bizaree ?

[@aragornsonofarathorn2170]

@@rolandnapitupulu who cares if she can't get pregnant? She still doesn't want to have them biologically anyway.

[@torietorreano6613]

I am a former foster child. This woman is a hero.

[@Jcon4002]

Sad how society cares more about you having kids rather than taking care of kids.

[@B----------------------------D]

Society cares about money, and that's it basically.

[@scazab6408]

@@B----------------------------D HOW CAN THEY MAKE MONEY OF A FRIKN BABY

[@szinga]

@@scazab6408 have you seen prices of baby stuff? toys? formulas? diapers? school supplies? art supplies? oh god, and the worst offender - CLOTHES? it's a huge business with a huge revenue!

[@jamestheawsome100]

And then these same people whine about people who can’t take care of kids having abortions when they accidentally get pregnant.

[@scazab6408]

@@szinga yeah ur right, thx dude

[@angelicabutterfly1794]

Personally, I know I wouldn't have the patience to raise kids. That's just who I am. I'm not a bad person for not wanting to be a mom. And I really wish people would stop bugging me about MY decision regarding MY body and MY future.

[@kiwisweet5520]

it’s commendable and responsible that you refuse to conform not only to preserve your own happiness but to protect a potential child from being unwanted

[@trulysurprised-bk7cy]

I never had patience until my late 40s....I also felt I wasn't meant to raise kids.

[@KassidyGonzales]

i’m glad you’re smart enough to realize that about yourself because so many people have kids only to realize they don’t want to or can’t handle them

[@mailzz]

They will never stop it)) After my first child my relatives asked almost immediately "when is the second". My jaw dropped. Having the first and only was such a big decision for me, never thought about the second))

[@Laura-we6xi]

Just stop caring.Stop explaning yourself.

[@Socket_Wrench]

I don't think I'll ever be able to fathom how such a simple and harmless decision as not having children sparked so much controversy and debate

[@dergluckliche4973]

I never cease to be amazed by how invested some people get in what consenting adult strangers are doing with their private parts.

[@imthatgirlagain]

Because it goes against one of the BIGGEST norms of society, people force people to rethink something core they've been conditioned to do automatically since birth. Creating a human life should have the most thought put into it but people put more thought in what theyre gonna have for dinner than a human life

[@dergluckliche4973]

@@imthatgirlagain Being a busybody is definitely one of the norms of society I will be happy to see disappear.

[@AmandaAmanda28]

@@imthatgirlagain goes against?? It’s a personal choice….

[@AmandaAmanda28]

@@imthatgirlagain having kids is natural obviously..but humans are not ‘hardwired’ to want kids or else we wouldn’t have a choice of not having them lol

[@robynsalaver4069]

I knew at five years old I didn't want to have children. Tried to get my tubes tied when I was in the military. A female gynecologist refused and sent me to mental health. The psychologist, also a woman, then tried to convince me I'd change my mind. It was exasperating. I've never wavered and am so glad I remained childless.

[@sophie4221]

Robyn Salaver Wtf is wrong with your gynecologist?

[@raiezy]

"I knew at 5 years old" lol no you didn't

[@ari.a4434]

@Witch Chan society is dong fine cuz look at all the foster kids in the overcrowded foster care system.

[@hehehihi9225]

@Witch Chan Who cares about lineage?

[@wamsjams]

That gynecologist should've been fired, honestly, you, in the military, treated with such disrespect. I'm so sorry

[@serenitygoodwyn]

I grew up a child of a woman who didn't want children. She was pressured into, it as many are by society's expectations. She didn't change her mind, even after I was born. I can confirm that being a child of a woman who didn't want children wasn't a fun experience, and I doubt being the mother who didn't want children was much fun either. As I got older and was no longer a child, our relationship did improve, we became friends, but I still carry the scars of childhood. Any woman, or man, who has the courage to go against society norms and chose not to have children, for what ever their reasons may be, has my respect.

[@withyoctopus]

Serenity Goodwyn same, same and same. On all of it.

[@syddlinden8966]

This applies to men who don't want kids too. My dad has always been horrible to me and my siblings. If you don't want kids, speak up and don't have them!

[@missimyou3590]

Then there's the flipside. My mother was my current age when she had me and it was considered taboo. My childhood doctor tried to force abortion onto her because he believed 23 and unmarried (still with my dad) was too young and irresponsible. She wanted kids though and copped flack for having me. Yet had flack ten years later for having my brother because 33 was "too old".

[@serenitygoodwyn]

You make a good point. I think the broader issue here is that people (including doctors) should stop trying to dictate other peoples reproductive choices, when the person is perfectly able to make a reasoned choice for themselves, whatever that choice may be.

[@rosemarymcelroy6251]

But then the opposite happens when the tables reverse and we (as a society) are blame-shifting something that our doctor did or did not do. I am not here claiming that you would attest to being this person, only that there is no solution. Once doctors back out, they lose their security of a job and liability. And 12 years is school is hard to just be calm about.

[@browniesnofrownies4843]

I’ve gotten the comment from my own family of “Oh, just wait until you find the right man.” I’m sorry, but last time I checked the “right man” wouldn’t force me to do anything I don’t want to.

[@LittleLaanekas]

iiMooseii exactly 👏

[@gryla5290]

Why would you assume that the right man would force you to have kids?

[@geminikb]

Exactly.

[@mastersonogashira1796]

I went to amazon, they said they are out of stock for “right man”

[@accountdeactivated5546]

@@mastersonogashira1796 can you remind me I'm a guy when there's stock?

[@richardseifried7574]

I'm 84 years old. Never had children. Never wanted any. Never changed my mind. Sure glad I never had any.

[@nullinlack585]

Good comment, Gentlemen or lady!

[@carilyncipolla1805]

Agreed 💯😅

[@StephenSpeakman]

Sad

[@JasmineWhylly]

@@StephenSpeakman happy

[@KMABTCH]

@@StephenSpeakman”How dare you decisions that make you happy and don’t affect me in any way!” 😡

[@Ren-bj3qh]

There are so many people in this world who are parents and really shouldn't be. I believe as a society that we should stop encouraging every single person to reproduce. Having children is not for everyone. We all have different lives and experiences therefore, we should not aim for identical goals in life.

[@mariahnelson6309]

This REALLY needed to be said. It's a shame it's not further up in the comments and that I can't like it twice. Our society should stop trying to force women who don't want to have children to do so, and people who do want kids need to approach having children in a carefully considered way. Like you said so many people who are unqualified to parent have children or have them for the wrong (often selfish) reasons.

[@derekrequiem4359]

"There are so many people in this world who are parents and really shouldn't be." 100000% agree! 👍

[@EmilyGrobler]

Parenting is based off what you believe. If you believe you're a victim of your past, then you are going to download all that baggage onto your children. I believe everyone has a chance to start over, and do it better. I know a family with 7 children (I am married to the eldest). The parents both come from troubled backgrounds, but with their undying faith in God, the restorative powers of His grace has worked so much goodness amongst their children. They are some of the most grounded, intelligent, confident people I know.

[@EmilyGrobler]

Using drug-addict moms as your excuse not to have children is the most pathetic thing. If you are sane and competent, or even moderately so, you are capable of raising beautiful human beings. And you will receive the education of your life, your eyes being opened to just how marvelous life itself is

[@danielladaurizio9692]

@@EmilyGrobler Um...it's not pathetic to be aware that you are not parent material. No reason to not want a child is pathetic. Parenthood is not a sport where you can just try out. It's a life-long commitment. The fact that the person is aware of the hardship in raising children and realizes that it may not be the best choice for him, that there are other meaningful things he can do (there are other ways to make your life meaningful, believe it or not) makes him/her mature and responsible.

[@ericahooper628]

I’m 32. No kids. Have no desire to have biological kids. My husband feels the same way. That was a first date conversation. I’m so tired of hearing that I need to “hurry up” and have kids because my clock is ticking. I’m tired of people asking WHY I don’t want kids. I just don’t. We just don’t. I’ve never asked my doctor for a tubal ligation for the very reasons talked about in this video. Do I fear getting old and having no one “there” or to “take care of” me? No. Having kids doesn’t guarantee that they or there - or that they will take care of you. That is the most selfish reason to have kids.

[@Chantwizzle]

Erica Hooper ya asking "what if your future partner wants kids?” is not a problem. I specifically only dated men who also didn't want kids. I've been trying to get my tubes tied since I was seventeen. I'm 35 and my husband is 38. Because of cancer he got half a vasectomy and we wish they would've finished the job. Cuz after 5 years of asking my current GP he keeps saying no and suggesting a Mirena implant. How about I don't stick a copper dodad in my body and you permanently fix the problem?

[@chrisresendes2125]

Erica Hooper same here. 32 year old man. applying to a graduate program. no desire for children.

[@sleepybitxh7870]

my grandpa had 11 children and non of them want to take care of him

[@malachi-1049]

I have always been told “What if your partner wants children?”, if my partner wants children and feel the need to be mad because I disagree with their belief, they will not be my girlfriend/boyfriend anymore and won’t be a part of my life anymore. I am no woman, but I completely understand and been through this situation. If this happens to you, i’d advise you to keep your distance from those people, they will only bring yourself down and make you upset. They want that confusion and rethinking, do not give them that satisfaction.

[@pomegranatebeetle1533]

Preach

[@Tulku]

Then they can find another partner who also wants children!

[@TaurielTheElf]

Every time someone tells me "You'll change your mind later" I always hit them with the good ol' "Would you change your mind about _having_ children?"

[@theocool6367]

My friend asks them genuinely, how do you know, if they confidently say you’ll change your mind, and of course they can’t answer that because they don’t know.

[@victoriasegall3404]

@@theocool6367 exactly!

[@thatperson9835]

thank you. now I know what to tell people.

[@attackpatterndelta8949]

I thought that sentence was going to end with "I always hit them."

[@amateur_football9751]

But its very common, take Jennifer Aniston who changed her mind and now openly regrets not having kids

[@JavierCespedes90]

Just because you are biologically designed to do something, does not mean that you have to be forced to do it or judged if you don't want to.

[@ramanjot952]

Best statement ever

[@Whocares158]

PEACH!!!

[@lastjob2011]

I have never used my birth canal and I'm super happy at 56! An introvert, me having to talk to my son's friend's mom at his basketball practice would have driven me to drink. Worse, that mom asking me to take her son to our house and she'll pick him up from there as she is running late....

[@stellas5788]

If someone says: "You will regret it". I'll ask: "Do you have or want childeren?" They mostly say "Yes". Just answer "You will regret it". They are soooooo offended and really don't get that they started it by saying the exact same thing… beautiful theater

[@Kimberly_ann29]

Stella S 💯💯💯💯💯💯👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@paulinaluc]

Hahaha AMAZING RESPONSE! I'm stealing this splendid idea 😍

[@MooglesNest]

And if you already know they have children just say; "I'm getting a dog instead, it's pretty much the same."

[@martinenyx-filmstuff305]

BADASS

[@maryescobar8923]

Stella S I am officially stilling your line 👍🏻👍🏻💓💓

[@nomadiavan6560]

I am 58 years old and have had no children. I still don't want children. No regrets.

[@BRIG788]

❤️❤️❤️

[@ventibreeze6648]

Cindy Jencks 54 no kids by choice, no regrets!

[@r.d.whitaker5787]

I'm 57,no kids,no regrets. I have an exciting, romantic, stable marriage. There are many of us like this.

[@lisasimmons5362]

Bravo!!!! I am 54. Never had kids. Never wanted any. Never married either. Never wanted to. NO REGRETS.

[@annag467]

Thank you sincerely to women who represent my future, I choose not to have kids and I am 32 now. I see my own life ahead to invest in, not more than one life to invest in.

[@carmstrong6507]

There's nothing selfish about not wanting to have kids. The most selfish thing is to have children and to abandon them. Dead beat parants are some of the most selfish people in the world.

[@savithrivenugopal]

Spot on!

[@kaleidoscopeeyes1184]

People have children for selfish reasons all the time. No one harasses them about their choice.

[@seaturtlepoppy7679]

I was the result of a selfish reason. I really wish she hadn’t had me.

[@clod8]

Or they have kids because they think that’s what they have to do

[@marciaosullivan3200]

@@seaturtlepoppy7679 then coming sepeku and stop being ungrateful for life

[@LucareonVee]

Marcia Osullivan I think you need to take another English class, honey. Do that before you even try to use a Japanese word. 分かりますか。

[@marciaosullivan3200]

@@LucareonVee auto correct and no one cares about you knowing Japanese get a hobby

[@mingcai2738]

My mom: " Omg It's so exhausting to have a child, I could have enjoyed my life if I didn't have you. " Also my mom: "What? You don't want a kid? How could that happen?"

[@jessicamrussell]

You're an ungrateful, selfish little child. Grow up.

[@Camazotz-kz9wr]

@@jessicamrussell How is not wanting children ungrateful? At least by not having a kid, she won't become emotionally abusive to the child like her own mother saying "my life you be better without you in it".

[@superduper5698]

Jessica Dawn Russell oof got ‘em 😩🔥🔥🔥🔥💵👌🏼🔥🔥🔥😩

[@davanlawford457]

Camazotz 4444 its sarcasm

[@falcon6995]

@@jessicamrussell Get Fucked!

[@aassttrrr]

People who don’t want kids are better off not having them. What is the big issue?

[@Hanfahhussain]

I was told i cant be selfish for not wanting kids

[@paasulla]

@@Hanfahhussain same thing

[@fredericoespinoza]

@@Hanfahhussain tell them to care about their own fkn lives, too many people intrude into other people's lives and beliefs these days

[@Hanfahhussain]

@@fredericoespinoza I wonder why is that.

[@samhan7348]

S. The big issue is it's used for political purpose,otherwise people knows it goes nowhere, it's just your interest at that point.

[@antinatalope]

Had a vasectomy in 1987, at 22 years old. Closing onto 60 now, and still think it's the best thing that I've ever done. Not just for myself, but for everyone involved.

[@hanielsoriano5907]

I sometimes casually (in form of humor) let my parents know that I don't want biological children in the future. And they always hit me with "who would take care of you when you're older?" Which is so wrong in so many levels. Children are not just retirement plans.

[@hanielsoriano5907]

@@thegoldenbough6525 if you're unlucky enough to have children, I pity them

[@Dbadaing]

You'e thinking is so shallow, but it's not surprising. It's becoming more and more common. Remember, life is not a Hollywood movie. Reality is more complicated than "omg you want children so you won't be alone and lonely when you're older, that's so wrong". There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting children so you are not lonely and helpless when you're old. Which leads me to my question, what exactly is your plan for old age?

[@hanielsoriano5907]

@@Dbadaing if earth still exists when I reach 60 and if I manage to survive til 60, that's 40 years in the future. We don't know how the world would work that time since the increase in digitalization of our world. I just want to continue learning to live the world with minimal negative effect to everything that exists and hopefully contribute even a little bit of positive effect. If I manage to survive til 60, that means I lived long enough to be able to provide myself a retirement plan. There's nothing wrong with wanting children but I think it's selfish to want them JUST to have somebody when we get old. They're another human who would have their own lives, I don't think I'm willing and will be able to shape another human into his/her best form.

[@LucareonVee]

Dbadaing I live halfway across the country from my mom. I basically see her once a year. Having kids doesn’t guarantee anything.

[@Killarusca]

Thank you for thinking that childrens aren't just retirement plans, so many people just think of their children as an investment rather than a person

[@senselocke]

I have a dear friend who quite literally *cannot* have children. She has blood pressure and migraine issues--the pregnancy would result in her death, to say nothing of the delivery. She's been trying to get sterilized, to avoid this unwanted and unneeded risk to her health and survival, for over ten years. And not a single doctor has agreed. This situation women are put in is maddening.

[@SarahBlueJ]

senselocke my friend has a son who is severely special needs and one of his conditions is genetic passed on by her. She didn't know because she was adopted so no family medical history was known about it. She was told that any other children she has will have something wrong with it. She's already at Dr appointments and specialists couple times a week for her son. He's 8 but mentally around 2 or 3. Has to have a feeding tube he my never be potty trained etc. She wanted her tubes tied and has been refused several times. Because and I quote the Drs "you may want another kid some day" She did end up getting pregnant with her new husband had a miscarriage they decided after much thought to try again. She got pregnant again and she kept having abnormal ultrasound. She went to a specialist. The fetus' organs were on the outside of it's body it had no legs and only 1 arm. She was told if she carried to term the baby would die outside of the womb and there was a high possibility shed die from carrying it to term. This is something that will likely happen with every pregnancy and for the Drs to make her go through that because they dont want to tie her tubes is heart breaking.

[@burnincoffee9661]

Perphaps there's a reason for them not agreeing. As you said, she has a lot of health issues...

[@bennyton2560]

Together with the "medical paternalism" mentioned, it's infuriating.

[@Mandy87Marie]

Is there a reason why her husband/partner can’t get a vasectomy instead? It’s far less invasive than a tubal ligation. I wouldn’t have one unless I was already going under the knife for another issue, and then it could be done at the same time.

[@thatonedog819]

Mandy87Marie I think the point is that he shouldn't have to. A women should have the choice to choose. The male counterpart shouldn't have to get this procedure if the female wants it

[@necronyx7176]

"Human beings are not to be gambled with." "I experienced first hand, repeatedly, how people ... were completely and literally unable to separate me being a woman to me being a mother. And I've always believed that being a mother was an extension of womanhood, not the definition." Girl... yes. Thankyou.

[@ernestoberger7589]

Thanks for putting this here, because this is basically the stupidest part of the lecture.

[@necronyx7176]

@@ernestoberger7589 in your opinion, and that's fine. I really appreciated those lines so.

[@ernestoberger7589]

@IfoundThisOnaUSB Don't project your anger due to your ugliness towards me. But that is what I'm talking about. Your parents knew that having a child would make the world uglier, but they did anyway. That takes real courage, the courage that don't lead you to giving a set of bogus reasons to leave a narcissistic life.

[@Manalu538]

he is props an incel so dont mind him lmao

[@thelordsatanx9535]

The "gambling" one is very important. One of the main facts that breeders fail to conceptualize or reconcile, is that to breed DNA life is to roll a metaphorical dice that reads "cancer, average existence, poverty, lifetime of mental illness, having your melted flesh peeled out of a car wreck, being kidnapped and tortured for 10 years by Ariel Castro" and an estimated "uncountable amount" of variations of torture that are equally terrible. and equally unjustifiable. And it's never necessary breed DNA life and take any of that risk. So to unnecessarily take that risk on top of it? For some type of pleasure or breeding imperative that could never actually compensate for that amount of damage? That's something that only the most insidious and DNA-brainwashed lunatic could defend, never mind actually (consciously) do. Learn the DNA monster before you _ever_ think of letting it loose on anyone. #Efilism #Antinatalism

[@Rainjojo]

Abusive parents: *abuses the people they hope will take care of them when they’re old* People: this is fine Me: I don’t want kids because i wouldn’t want another person to feel pain People: YOURE SELFISH

[@thekawaiipotato4050]

yep I feel the same. Im 15 right now, and I really feel this way. Life is painful

[@Rainjojo]

@@thekawaiipotato4050 Im 17 and hate how my family insist that I’d have kids or “get married to a man” when that’s not the life I want. It also upsets me how society rushes the youth of most teens to grow up faster than what they are

[@JesusChristForEternity]

Right?

[@kucak7835]

The sad true!

[@yoleeisbored]

Chris watts case..

[@niquib5085]

"I've always believed that having children was an extension of womanhood, not the definition." Very true indeed

[@strictlyunreal]

Yeah, but having children is the definition of life, I guess.

[@constantgaming2275]

@@strictlyunreal well, then have a kid of your own, why don't you? This world has something called orphans. Children who are unlucky in life, uther because their parents are dead, or were abandoned. If that kid is going to grow without love, it's better he isn't born at all. Having kids may be a biological necessity for the continuation of a race, but I say that it's not that urgent if orphans exist Maybe if humanity wasn't overpopulated we would have a different conversation, but now, you can't expect people to just breed like they are cattle just for The so called "Definition of life" Specially when even animals can act outside of the "natural" way

[@strictlyunreal]

@@constantgaming2275 Asking people to take care of orphans and not have their own children doesn't make sense to me. That would mean that the genes of people that are unfit to raise children get passed on, while the genes of the caregivers are not. Why should I raise a child that is not part of my lineage? How would that benefit me? Orphans are Nature's way of saying "the line of my unfit parents should end here". Of course, there are orphans, as you said, that were unlucky that their parents died, but I still can't raise a child that is not mine. Only maybe if it were to be the child of one of my siblings, but never a stranger. Anyway, you failed to take into account the context. If you analyze my reply, it was to a stupid remark. Is having children an extension of womanhood? Isn't the way we define sexes based on the type of reproductive organs that one has? Isn't childbearing the primary characteristic of being a woman? And isn't reproduction one of the elements that make up the definition of life? What was the point of everything you said in the context of what I said?

[@silkegehtyoutubegarnichtsa892]

@@strictlyunreal You are aware, that the lines of, as you put it, "unfit parents", are excactly those that very often never seem to end?? So what you'd do about that? Been there, done that, as what you're pointing out basically comes from a pov of selection, you just turned the ends around.

[@TheBlockWIzard]

@@strictlyunreal "Orphans are Nature's way of saying the line of my unfit parents should end here" Are you serious? What a disgusting sentiment that you think orphans are any less deserving of love and attention. As for raising an orphan not 'benefitting' you, umm... maybe the benefit is that you've just provided a homeless child with a much better life so they can grow up as a normal kid? Unless of course you only have biological children to continue your clearly 'superior' lineage, even though psychology has demonstrated time and time again that genetics are only a partial factor in how people grow up to be, and that the *environment* that they grow up in has a much bigger impact on how they will turn out.

[@SSR00000]

I knew at 11 years of age I did not want children. It was a very clear realisation. And it has never changed. It is not that I do not love kids...I just do not want to bring any of my own kids into this world....nor be responsible for another humans' psychological and emotional development. I have never felt maternal towards human babies....but feel plenty maternal towards animal - babies. Wanted to travel...see the world. At that is what I did. I am 49 now, married, living in a foreign country...have 4 furrbabies... and have no regrets about my decision to be child - free.

[@kittenmimi5326]

What are those 4 furbabies? Cats? Dogs? Rabbits?? Anyways great for you ^^

[@wawa9079]

I don’t want children either I would not be a good mom

[@patsaxon5284]

Then you will regret your decision later in life. I have talked with many older men and women as they now regret not having a large family.

[@aprettypenny1786]

Pat Saxon , I'm 57, childless by choice, no regrets AT ALL!

[@indiaxlovee]

Pat Saxon still doesn’t make it worth it lol

[@upscaleavenue]

I am a young person. I have no plans to marry or to have children. It's just never appealed to me. I am very much an introvert, and would much rather spend my time furthering my education, travelling, and pursuing my interests. That to me is much more worthwhile than being a parent. The unspoken expectation for women to marry/have children is so sexist and old - paradigm. I'll do what I want, thank you very much!

[@plutooliver686]

Smart👏🏼

[@M4ggy98]

Yes! I always wondered how introverted people survive having children..

[@lenastorm6280]

Upscale Avenue Same!

[@melkohler6420]

Same here

[@_-Melly-_]

I know this is probably the wrong time to say this but, you may be Aromatic. An Aromatic is someone who doesn't strive for a romantic relationship. Sorry if this feels out of place. But im Aromatic and I just felt like I was looking in a mirror

[@giadac.4406]

“What if you will regret this?” I’d rather regret NOT having had children than the other way around.

[@jessicastormshell2786]

I knew a girl who, at 19, had 4 children. She tried to get sterilized after her 3rd and 4th child. Her doctor would not sterilize her because she was "too young". None of her children live with her now because her situation turned very bad. People wanted to blame her for the abuse her children endured. But she tried not to have them. And she was refused. She stayed with an abusive man because "We have children together" and because "This is my chance to have a family". Now she will never see those children again. The children were put separately into foster care and will likely never see each other again. But the decision that their mother should still be able to have more children was left with a doctor who forced his will on a young woman who was not a good mother. Who knew she wasn't a good mother, and not meant to be one. Who tried to manage her life better by not having more children. And who might have had a better chance if she had been allowed to make what would have been a better choice.

[@autumnhomer9786]

Jessica Stormshell 🌸This is such an important message and; these same Dr’s who won’t do this. Also give multiple women multiple abortions. Without even considering the joke of it all. You can abort a foetus but you don’t understand sterilising someone, which will have a much negative impact on their body?🌼

[@kitskitt5412]

That is a terrible story but I feel like she could have done something to get out of the relationship instead of staying and letting her and her children be abused. There are shelters that take in women in that situation and help them get back on their feet. Abuse is a vicious cycle and hard to get out of but can be done. If there isn't one where she was maybe there should be. There's also adoption. I do get her situation, I've lived it. Tried to get a tubal ligation after my second, they said i was too young, I was 22. Had two more kids after that. I guess the biggest difference is I've always wanted children and love them to death and would do anything so they can succeed. Which is why I left him. I left my security, comfort, and financial support and went into the unknown, uncomfortable, and unpredictable. And everything has turned out better than expected.

[@lukeulibarri3924]

Abortion is murder!

[@marypalmer00]

do they not know how to use condoms?

[@gdragonismygod]

@@lukeulibarri3924 of cource it is. But it shouldn't be your business

[@DaneReidVoiceOver]

Never advise someone who doesn't want a child to have a child. Children should have parents who instinctively want them.

[@Mairitas]

Well said!!!

[@tangerinetangerine4400]

But people like butting in.

[@Miner_Experting]

like seriously that is just straight up offensive, not only to the person being given this comment, but also the current spouse as well

[@mayanezha1269]

Amen 🙏

[@jillcarnegie3641]

Very well said and all to true.

[@broedddel7243]

My mother often says: "When you have your own children..." and I was always annoyed by it. And that one time my brother burst out: "Stop with your: 'when you have children'. I don't want children." And I wish I had said that too

[@kotare86]

Houmsterbäck Same, for me it was "when you have your babies..." and "say a prayer your aunt will get her baby with this round of IVF"

[@stratkids]

My mom doesn't expect me to have kids and she respects my disicion into not wanting kids

[@Amydavis1717]

I'm so sorry she is treating you that way. That is so sad for you and for her. You can have a full amazing life no matter what your decision on children, but she will not be able to be part of HER decision. Only one of you is being selfish.

[@onemillionpercent]

i'm an only child and i feel so much pressure knowing that in the future i'm gonna HAVE to have kids. even though i'm only 17 rn. it makes me so scared to think about it, so i dont want to think about it. at all. ugh, i want to continue my parents' bloodline but at the same time i feel like i wont be ready for a long time, or will never be ready and i know they'll be so unhappy if they die w/o seeing me have a kid, and at the same time it's so hard to find a man who respects this decision, and in the end i may actually want a child but maybe it's too late....indecisiveness and fear, what i have. i know if i have a kid i'll love them, but uhh. yeah idk. i dont know if i want a child. maybe i dont. but i'm an only child (which i dont mind being - except that i have a lot of pressure in this case) and i'm stuck in this loop.

[@gwenshin]

@Frisbee 'n' Cookies Tell your old grama if she wants children so bad to go adopt some! There are plenty of kids who would love someone to care for them.

[@レッド-c7i]

I really don't understand why people believe that every woman want to have a child. Thank you for your precious speech.

[@07Flash11MRC]

Because children are the easiest way to control women and blame them for the control of them.

[@minal2111]

"Human lives are not to be gambled with "

[@saifal-qalawi6956]

Minal Sharma Tell that to adam and eve

[@marcelloursic424]

Saif, they probably didn't exist.

[@tinahuttner7280]

Right on the other thing though is that a lot of people don't get is that being a parent is a privilege not a right.

[@bandaidsandshoes]

It’s not just women. Men get it as well. I even get it from some of my friends. They never have an answer when I ask “ If having a wife and kids are so great, why are you always coming over to my house and complaining about your wife and kids? “

[@DrSanto91]

Me too i am a 29 year old male, and my mom and dad, get surprised why i don't want kids, and i tell them i dont want them, too damn expensive, i lose my freedom. If i did not want kids in my early 20s, no way i am going to have them at 30 years old, and some women I have talked too online get so bummed because they want kids, and i tell them "too bad sorry i want to save my money." I want to easily go home, travel and go vacation with no problems. And all of my cousins who have kids and my sister's, they will get jealous of me not having kids and saving up than wasting it on children.

[@donutboi6187]

I personally just don’t like the idea of s**. If that didn’t have to happen then maybe I’d have children but sense that is the case if I wanted children I’d adopt and be a single parent

[@elt2773]

I want a husband but no kids

[@cyagami90]

@@DrSanto91 When i was pregnant i once had a creepy dude shaming me for choosing to have children. He was going on and on about his vasectomy and how children are leeches and this and that. Finally he shut up when my husband said "nobody fucking cares dude". This was one experience on the other side of the coin and it didnt feel good. It felt dehumanizing and judgemental. I can only imagine what ya'll go through on a day to day basis having to constantly defend yourselves.

[@bandaidsandshoes]

꧁༺Alyssa༻꧂ well for when someone rides me for not wanting kids my reply usually is “ You know, you may be right. I’m missing out on the enriching experience of being a father. I feel kinda bad about my choice now. Well..... guess I’ll take some of the money I’ve saved and go to on an exotic trip to make myself feel better. “ “ Oh. Say hi to your anchors, I mean kids for me. “

[@squippites7356]

I hate the question “who’s going to take care of me when you’re older?” Because the children aren’t your maids for the rest of your life after they go to college.

[@olgachafeeva2828]

hehehe watch them get dumped at the nursing home BY their adult children and never get a visit :D

[@bitch8205]

There have actually been some studies that show that adults who have to take care of their aging parents are prone to depression themselves which leads to physical health problems as a result of irregular eating and sleeping habits, and it causes financial problems as well as social isolation. So, choosing to not have kids not only saves you money but it also saves the burden from your children. It's good to have someone take care of you when you're older, but your kids shouldn't have to sacrifice their health to watch you die.

[@princeicio]

Absolutely, your kids are gonna get married and you're gonna end up alone either way.

[@raspberryboo2]

This comment made me realize I don't have to feel guilty for not wanting to spend the prime of my life taking care of someone just because they are my parent.

[@raspberryboo2]

@@skatrees I think it depends on what the care looked like. My parents made me feel like a burden through most of my childhood and often put me as last priority over their romantic relationships.

[@bryan_wofford]

Love, love, love it. Hooray, Christen! 63 years old male here, never married, no kids. I've never wanted to do either-and every day I grow even happier that I didn't.♥

[@LucareonVee]

@Devil's Logic For being too happy? 😋

[@LucareonVee]

@Devil's Logic And what law is that violating? 😘

[@LucareonVee]

@Devil's Logic Seems like that’s just a part of nature, honey. I never chose to be born, but I can choose not to procreate. 😘

[@josephperez3435]

Same here buddy! I'm in no way knocking marriage and kids, It just wasn't in the cards for me at all, I know that it bothers many people but guess what if I have to live it all over again so be it!😊😄😀

[@bryan_wofford]

@@josephperez3435 - Right on, Joseph … It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.

[@Lee935]

I hate when people tell me “you’ll change your mind when your older”. I’m 26 going on 27 & have not yet changed my mind. I do NOT want children. I want my freedom for life.

[@agostinacoronel2901]

I wanna be like you

[@theseth455]

Backed 100% and I say this as a 24-year-old man.

[@nicci8964]

Im also 27 and feel so strongly i will never change my mind yet i will get told by strangers that i will

[@RS-fi7cc]

I always heard that in my 20's and 30's... Now that I am 41 and of course I still don't want children, some feel pity for you 😅... I just can tell you that it's a indeed very liberating, I feel free 😉

[@mintfreightage7670]

FREEDOM!!!!!!

[@revamahajan1279]

I can hear her and many other women’s anger and frustration in her voice. She is so brave for standing up for this issue!

[@fledgling5616]

Reva Mahajan It’s a completely politically correct position, there’s nothing brave about it at all. There’s zero chance the audience going to boo, and a sure thing she’ll be praised for saying this stuff. Nothing brave about that.

[@wun__]

@@fledgling5616 not to mention she sounded much more like some emotionally troubled person than some brave but frustrated heroine.

[@littlemom2070]

😩. First world problems

[@kinndah2519]

What's so brave about it?

[@fledgling5616]

Kindah Literally nothing.

[@HM-lw6yl]

i think its better not to have kids than to bring kids into this world unloved and unprotected.

[@prettypinkblunt]

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK !!

[@brandiwhitley5798]

That's true. I'm 30 years old, happily single and equally happily child-free. I barely have the patience to handle my nephew, so why would I want a child of my own. I haven't been hounded on my choices yet, but I'm sure it's just a matter of time.

[@punkkimiko]

So true!

[@serasilva8214]

@Vlad the Inhaler Agreed. Socrates too made statements that were sometimes simple and seemingly obvious, but still very important and necessary like this one. It really is frustrating how people need to be told such clear things, right? :)

[@markneilgarcia8988]

so true

[@MsBartu-ib1vf]

I’m truly inspired by this speech. I’m a 39 yr old grown woman who recently went through my procedure not to have a child . Unlike her doctors mine was understanding and respectful of my decision. Her immediate response was “it’s your body..your choice”. Those words echoed to this day. Because when I shared my decision with my mother and friends the first response was either“what if we meet a man who wants kids” or you will not be a woman if you don’t have children”. The shame society place on women who voluntarily make the choice not to have biological kids is shameful. I respect and embrace all the women who made the choice on their own accord.

[@kristinb8172]

I watched my friend fight for years to be approved for a hysterectomy. She has endometriosis and a bunch of other reproductive and health issues that cause her constant pain and would have made pregnancy extremely dangerous for both her and an unborn baby. Her doctors told her that in the future she might consider a hysterectomy because it would likely improve her health conditions and reduce her pain. She begged for one NOW. They said no, she might want to have children someday. She emphatically did not want children and never changed her mind in the decade she fought for her own reproductive/health rights. She sought second, third, and tenth opinions. Despite being in a long-term relationship with a man who also didn't want children, she was told she might be with someone in the future who would want kids. "Why would I choose someone with drastically different desires regarding children, and why does a hypothetical partner I've never met have more control over my body than I do?" she asked, again and again. Her needs were ignored, until she reached 30 and FINALLY had a doctor agree to her hysterectomy. When she posted her triumphant news on Facebook, many of us cried for her. She shouldn't have had to fight so hard, or at all. The world has enough people in it, and many children without parents. Not every woman needs to breed, or should be expected to.

[@cuscof2]

@Daniel Embree Considering your other postings in this thread I truly hope you don't breed.

[@nicolezly]

@Daniel Embree Aren't we trying to tell you that.

[@decembervyne6541]

That's such an awful situation and unfortunately very common. Endometriosis runs in my family as well and I watched my mom come close to dying because her obgyn wouldn't take her symptoms seriously.

[@irisforlife4953]

Yeah they accept freezing eggs ,but not saving her life.

[@lone6718]

Kristin Baker I have a friend that tried for almost 4 years to get approval for a full hysterectomy, and she had a condition so much worse than endometriosis, but that’s what she had been told she had since her mother has it. Her cycles were horrendous. I forgot how many doctors she said she saw, but when she finally met the doctor that had her correct diagnosis, she said he walked in with a nurse and a began with a sigh when he came to treatments; there were and the preferred/suggested treatment was a complete hysterectomy. She never heard the second option, she stopped him and said “I have been fighting for that for years! The hysterectomy, I pick the hysterectomy!” She was so happy! The medical system is fucked up, especially when it comes to “dealing with” our female stuff.

[@kn1ght-788]

If I ever *DO* want children, I'll adopt

[@zerofuks416]

KN1GHT - Adopt fine ✌️

[@satanuwu9688]

thanks UwU

[@-Gous-]

Which is a bad thing too because you support people who made a huge mistake and shouldnt have had kids in the first place, dumb decision. But don't think now that I'm rude to you, I think you are right, atleast I thought so. I gave you a like still because it's the best moral and intelligent decision someone with heart can make. I'm against making kids anyway, I want that the human race dies out 😉

[@drenn.]

you're so cool and epic dude you want the human race to die? man thats so cool i wanna be like you when i grow up

[@secretlyish]

Artism UwU It’s not the kids’ fault someone did a mistake, also it’s not that it is always the parents’ mistake, anything could’ve happened. A divorce (not enough money afterwards), rape, anything.

[@regalshot.2423]

Selfish?? I think it's selfish TO have kids if your not properly prepared... Excellent Ted talk

[@sigmasiren7]

Exactly how I feel.

[@Ravenelvenlady]

Exactly!

[@greyLeicester]

Most common reply to that: nobody is ever prepared. You learn on the go

[@EclecticallyEccentric]

@@greyLeicester Some people are much less prepared than others.

[@kucak7835]

Well said!

[@s0f_03]

The fact that most women have to be careful about saying we don’t want children just proves that society is not ok with us making OUR OWN decisions with OUR OWN bodies. They see us as submissive reproductive machines, & sadly, *some* men think that that’s all women are good for. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, & I’ve really came to the conclusion that the thought of having children just isn’t for me. It’s a big responsibility, a big commitment, and I’m just gonna be a contributor to the world becoming more overpopulated. I’d rather have 1 or 2 pets with my future partner, than have children.

[@lefteris5577]

Actually the overpopulation excuse is a little faulty and a really bad example and counter argument. The problem of overpopulation goes quite deep and you not having children will not really affect overpopulation like if you decided to have children. Don't take this as an attack to your beliefs of not having children or me trying to change your opinion. Frankly i could not care less. But if you want to ever defend your opinion try not using that. In my opinion "I don't want to have children" is a good excuse enough

[@usmolonyskarpetul1928]

especially in slavic countries (besides Czechia of course)

[@nickgennady]

I agree. Men also expected to have children. Every time I am at my parents house my siblings and parents always asking me when I am getting married and having some children. I said I don't want children. I am 27 and they keep saying wait until you get older. Also I rather have a dog. I also just believe I am just not suited for children after my upbringing.

[@Vapor817]

@@lefteris5577 the "problem" of overpopulation is self-correcting because as living standards rise, so do the amount of people who decide to not have children. one person choosing not to have kids doesn't do much, but there are millions of people who choose to be childless due to the conditions that initially cause population spikes.

[@reynavargas6573]

yep!! our bodies our choice ❤️

[@jordansullivan5764]

I think people always say, "you'll change your mind" because *they* were pressured to do so and now want to justify their choice.

[@melissasanson758]

I agree! My favorite one is "oh when you meet the right person, you'll change your mind. You'll want a family with them." Um, no, the right person became family and he doesn't want kids either.

[@clairegordon2109]

I agree

[@derikright9249]

Although you may be partly right, I think a lot of people that say that are people who wanted kids themselves but just believe everyone else wants kids, as well. They can't imagine the possibility of missing out on having kids, so they don't want others missing that chance. I think most of their intentions are good and that they just don't realize their are women who want different things. I'm anti-abortion (not here to get in an abortion/pro choice argument). However, if people don't want kids that's their choice. I can care less if someone has kids or not.

[@Shamy_Cartoons]

Exactly.

[@dabohoney2273]

Agree!

[@alo6125]

Me: Single, childless, age almost 60, very happy and no regrets whatsoever! I enjoy the role of aunt.

[@virginiapearson6518]

Good for you!

[@hestiaa9354]

Ann Lo Me too. Just turned 60 this year. Always knew I never wanted children.

[@miradfalco251]

Same here! Turning 56, no kids, and finally no worries about it. And that's after a lifetime of "you'll change your mind" and even some pressure/advice about "you're running out of time", and getting treatment for infertility.

[@phoenixfire5046]

This talk could have also been about marriage. Women are “supposed” to be married.

[@alo6125]

I would also add that the person calling themselves, "Truth prevails," is making assumptions about me that aren't true.

[@Zolega89]

As a male, I don't want kids! I have my reasons!

[@kryptoid2568]

And what does Haru think about it? Does she agree?

[@Zolega89]

@@kryptoid2568 Half and half monsters?

[@Zolega89]

@beyondraeal My kid either as Levente (male) or Viktória (female) would be just as stupid as me

[@Whocares158]

Good. 😊❤

[@doctorrika]

Lmaoo will you marry me then? I don't want any too.

[@mystictiger5381]

She sounded like she wanted to cry the entire time. I wanted to give her a hug the whole video.

[@redkings6976]

Mystic Tiger it's ok man

[@stan6486]

That’s a 14 minute and 36 second hug Good.

[@ernestoberger7589]

This kind of sensitiveness is not normal. You should seek professional help.

[@mystictiger5381]

I just wanted to give someone a hug because I kept hearing tremors in their voice, but that's not normal is it?

[@ernestoberger7589]

If a person does the opposite and speaks with perfect confidence, do you want to punch them in the face then? If the situation is more extreme like you hear a child stuttering in front of you, do you contact your lawyer to adopt this kid so you can hug it forever? So are you really having wild emotional reactions to people's voices? Or is your comment just an attempt to signal a twisted virtue?

[@niquib5085]

"What if your next partner wants children?" I rolled my eyes back so far, I saw my brain.

[@VampireSexGoddess]

Then great for them.

[@love_agapi_m3976]

Next

[@fanofrpgalore1546]

Yaaaaaaah like wow...conversation going straight to some person that might not even exist (for me personally, this was the most laughable part)

[@spooky6703]

@@platinumfitnessbarbie4637 Also the sneaky little dig that implies that her current partner will leave her, as if it's a certainty.

[@Sarahizahhsum]

Then they aren't for you, that's for damn sure! I blast it on my profile to ward off the entitled men and those who would respect my no but still want kids for some fucked up reason. He really thinks bringing a kid into this world is a good idea? Hmmm no.

[@owlknickerknots2607]

I don’t want children either. I’m so sick and tired of this American dream junk. Not everyone wants kids. No thanks.

[@lauram7929]

Tea sis 🙏

[@tinimoon]

Unfortunately it is not only an American dream I am Spanish living in Italy , believe Europe is the same ... they just don't understand that there are outthere women that dont want to be mum , well I've stopped listening to bullshit many years ago. I will do what i want to do , I am 39 and no kids .

[@theoduval1408]

China is one step away from the finish line, America two steps away.

[@Whimsy3692]

The American dream died in the '50s.

[@patricksaxon3983]

Getting married and having a large familiy is the American dream, have you not watched the Brady Bunch and see how life is wonderful for them?

[@JW-vi2nh]

I am almost 37 years old, have been with the same partner for 23 years and have known since the day we met when I was THIRTEEN years old that I never wanted kids. It has never been a secret. I never saw a reason for it to be one. Still, even now, working on 40 years into my life, I am told I'll change my mind. The number of complete strangers who have had the audacity to tell me that I'll "never know true love" and I'll "never be truly happy" until I have kids is absolutely shocking to me. It feels like we live in a programmed society of mindless robots sometimes when it comes to ideas about marriage and family and it is disgusting. "You can be ANYTHING you want to be when you grow up" apparently didn't include happily childfree and unmarried with my partner and our dogs.

[@seawater1322]

what happens is you get more and more quirky and odd as there are less close people around you to temper you and your wierdness. This is why all childless couples are fking wierd

[@seawater1322]

@Mitchell Mitchell nope you are. With your dogs and cats.

[@seawater1322]

@Mitchell Mitchell yeah there is, you will be a parasitic drain on the economy in the not so distant future.

[@RR.LL.3B]

@@seawater1322 this literally makes no sense there’s loads of weirdos who have kids lmao

[@shigor]

If you decided not to have kids it's fine. why do you care so much about what others think of you?

[@mirandalynncato5080]

Thank you so much. I’m 28 and in a long term relationship, we constantly get asked when we are having children. When I tell people that I don’t want them I get “ you are too young to know what you want” or “ that will change”. If my boyfriend tells them the same thing he gets “ that’s so smart, they are expensive to raise” or “ that’s wonderful just think of all the traveling you can do” . I wish society would realize there is more to life then to have kids. Now don’t get me wrong I absolutely love kids but I enjoy being the cool aunt and enjoy spoiling them and sending them home. I feel like having a kid just because society tells me to would be selfish.

[@rosecat5638]

Miranda Lynn Cato I completely feel you on this!!!!Also the same age and I've noticed that same difference in responses from people depending on who gives the answer. Whenever people find out we've been together a long time and how old we are its "marriage and children interrogation time" and it can be people I just met 5 mins ago. I'll find myself trying to justify my reasons for them only to later wish I'd just lied in the first place or told them off just to save me time and frustration on why they feel the need to butt into my life and relationship.

[@ldw051290]

I'm also 27 but, I'm single. My dad, thankfully, supports the fact that I do not want children and plan on having my tubes tied. My mother is a different story she still asks when am I going to settle down and have kids. I have 2 nephews that I love more than anything but, I am happy to be an aunt and have no desire to be a mother. Plus my dad is technically my stepdad so I am proof that you don't need to have generics in order to be family.

[@ArmyOfDemons]

I'am almost at the same situation. 28 years old and together with my boyfriend for 4 years. The only difference is that my boyfriend gets te same response from colleagues, random stangers etc. Luckily my friends accept it and my mother stopped the battle why i'ts so "fun" to have children. The worst part is when I'am feeling sick and people tell me with a big smile that I might be pregnant.... People don't realise that, for me it feels like the are happily saying that I might have some serious illness and going to die soon... I even got a remark one that I should not lift heavy because i needed to bear children in the future...

[@ldw051290]

ArmyOfDemons I'm so sorry. I don't think people realize how what they say sometimes makes someone else feel.

[@neharajoria1]

I am 33, and married to the love of my life for 6 years, both of us decided early on that we did not want children, despite being clear from the start with friends and family we till date get harassed, coaxed, lectured and sometimes scolded over it. I have started asking people in response now, I never asked you why you had children, I don't presume to know it was a good or bad decision, what makes you feel that you have the right to ask and tell me. That usually shuts them down.

[@solaccursio]

I'm 50, and I've been hearing that "you'll change your mind" for all my life. Know what? I didn't.

[@codekillerz5392]

Sol Accursio Is that you in your profile picture? You look young for fifty

[@solaccursio]

Hehehe thank you :)

[@mapoony]

That's a great thing about not having Kids. You look better as you grow older, generally speaking because you have less stress from the burden & huge responsibility of caring for kids & you usually have more money too because KIDS ARE VERY EXPENSIVE!!!

[@Noodles4Anime]

Just give it some time. You might decided you want kids when your 60. ;3 (Yes, this is sarcasm.)

[@kartos.]

Probably look young due to not having children. It's well documented the stress ages us very fast.

[@RamblingSailors]

When I hit fifty, a switch flipped and I started enjoying kids. After awhile I realized it was because I no longer would have to deal with people saying "When are you having one?" So. Never. Regretted.

[@raven3moon]

giveagoodsong Idiot

[@NoName-dw5go]

Same. I'm 25 and a lot of the disdain I'm showing towards kids is definitely coming from the fact that everyone around me expects me to love them. I clearly don't like them very much and don't want one of my own but I do feel that I exaggerate it a lot around people so they don't picture me for one second as a future loving mother or tell me about it T_T (Eewk..)

[@jackieporteraz]

RamblingSailors that’s so odd. The same thing is happening to me and I’m 48.

[@PF680]

Everyone says to me "oh it's okay you can be a great aunt instead!" and i'm like, yea I'm not that great of an aunt either. I just don't enjoy spending time with kids. Now I'm 38 and have like a 5% chance of getting knocked up and I enjoy playing with my friends' babies.

[@raysofgreys]

My husband recently had a vasectomy, my mom’s response: “Don’t worry honey, there are plenty of other men out there!” WHAT IS IT GOING TO TAKE FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND, THAT I DON’T WANT KIDS!? Ughhhhhh!!!

[@samueldarling6699]

Ahahahah oh my. Your husband aswell. And she says that. Parents are actually clueless

[@wickednwyld]

Menopause. That's when my mom stopped bugging me about it.

[@secretaryofoffense7118]

So basically hes of no value and is disposable because he cant or doesn't want to reproduce??

[@prumset6059]

@@secretaryofoffense7118 Well really "cant" makes no sense in this context because its a vasectomy so I would rather guess the 2nd one?

[@mittenzpurrez8235]

😂🤣😂🤣

[@prernananda2517]

We need strong women like you. Very proud to hear you.

[@andriamiya8936]

"you'll regret this." My response would be, "Let me worry about that." Because it's none of their business and they should learn that.

[@wojo4hitz]

Good response. Thanks for that!

[@cryogeneric8187]

You'll regret it

[@wojo4hitz]

@@cryogeneric8187 Eh.

[@thesmasher138]

Haha nice. I wonder if anyone’s response would just be a disinterested “okay.” That’s what I would do in a situation where people are telling me anything they don’t understand anything about (and yes, I’m a guy, but I think it still applies here).

[@torkelsvenson6411]

And it's better to regret that than having kids and regretting it

[@KD-dr3gy]

When I tell people I only want to adopt *well you have to have at lease one* wtf its not French fries!

[@clairem7304]

Kalifornia Soul Thank you!!! I say there are enough kids in this world who need someone to love them (foster/adoption) without bring another human into this war torn, resource deprivated world that is full of selfish people who look out for number one. Stop telling me what *I* want, stop telling me I'll change my mind.

[@ifjiminhasjamsthenimpopefr2228]

LMAO tell em girl 😂

[@TheNicestAshley]

My husband's friend told us after we said we were adopting "You have to have at least one 'real' one!"

[@sophiejones1596]

And I hate it when they say “ but it isn’t your own child “ Uggggggghhhh🤨

[@kellypyle2603]

My sister has a hereditary disease called cystic fibrosis. now she herself doesn't have the disease but there is a 80% chance that her next child will have it. (Her first child already does) and if she stays with her partner who she loves it is a 100% chance they will get it. But for some reason my mother is so so SO against her adopting because my sister wants more children but she doesn't want the child to suffer from the disease so she wants to adopt and she has no idea why she is so against adopting.

[@darkangel4994]

I was unplanned. My mother didn’t really want kids. She is pro life, so she would never get an abortion. She acts like a four year old that was denied ice cream sometimes. She makes fights out of nothing, then gets mad at me for it. The other day, she told me she wouldn’t let me get and abortion even if my life was at stake, unless there was no way I would survive. So, even if there was a chance that I might die because of the fetus inside of me, she would choose it over her own daughter. Honestly. I don’t understand why people feel the need to control other people’s lives.

[@nysaea]

that is absolutely terrifying...

[@samanthaspeaks4206]

What a manipulative horrible person. I deal with some of that crap too but I know i will prosper and she can be miserable stuck in the past whining about a failed marriage as a single mother blah blah blah sure its hard but i didnt choose to be brought here so...but im doing better because her negative crap i dont care abiut it anymore and she calls me apathetic because i let her know shes being manipulative and she is bitter negative and trying to drag everyone down because shes use to being negative and others being negative including myself but a switch was switched and i learned i can be positive all the time and i do not have toblet my past garbage be my present because her fear of growing out of negativity. Stand strong

[@pheart2381]

Dark Angel Are you old enough to move out and away? I would recommend it.

[@Camazotz-kz9wr]

Dark Angel If you are 18 she doesn't have any legal control over you getting an abortion. You can get it and she can't legally stop you.

[@vietcong411]

Are you 12?

[@fragrantbloom]

thank you Christen for this amazing Ted talk.. I am a 26 year Indian woman. I can not put another human being through what I went through, expose them to the dangers if life and put myself through excruciating pain. Thank you so much.

[@amankumarmishra1542]

Great Decision

[@eropoe6032]

❤❤❤

[@tinkerheck3284]

I'm 52, never had them, never wanted them. Nothing has changed, I heard all of this condescending crap when I was a young woman too. The expressions I *still* get commonly are "Oh I'm so sorry", and "I think that's SO selfish"... and I can honestly say that I have never let it get to me. Usually I just giggle a bit, and respond with "Why are you sorry, I chose not to have kids. You should be happy for me!" which confuses them, and it is not possible to explain it to them either, because a woman not wanting kids is just not a concept they can wrap their narrow little brains around. And as for the selfish comment... Ooooh, I get a little nasty with that one. My response is usually "Well I think it's selfish to have a bunch of kids you can't afford... and end up getting part of my paycheck to pay for them. Not to mention the drain it will have on the environment and the economy..." The fact is, I knew from a very young age that I wanted to have a career and be on my own, meaning no kids and no marriage. It's everyone else around me that couldn't handle it. And I am so happy that I knew my own mind and I was brave enough to follow my own instincts. I ignored their shock and dismay and just got on with my life. They still don't get me, and I still don't give a damn. :)

[@bennyton2560]

You're so cool!

[@serraven4838]

tinker heck Good on ya. :D

[@EricaGamet]

Question: Can we be best friends? We are practically the same person, anyway.

[@riverchick23]

Because people with kids know that they're the best thing that has happened to them. I had a surprise pregnancy at age 34 after never wanting kids, and can't imagine a life without her now! Having kids is just one of those things that you'll never understand until it happens to you. I didn't even know that I was missing anything before I had my daughter. People probably say that they're "sorry" because they think you're missing out on something in life...

[@variansloth]

power to you! i'm still in my twenties but i just know i never want kids. always asked when i'll change my mind, especially when i take care of my nephews and niece because i'd take a bullet for them. but that's just because they're family, i'd take a bullet for anyone in my family. babies are ugly, childbirth is painful, and raising another human being for my entire life is just not meant for me.

[@asobimo5532]

"What happens when you date someone who wants children?" Why would you date someone who has different values than you?

[@LucareonVee]

Answer: there won’t be a second date. :)

[@angienatalia8770]

Exactly!!!! That's the most common question people ask me and I just don't get it!!!!

[@tangerinetangerine4400]

People can be so dense.

[@bonthebunnycat667]

Well, I personally don't want to have biological children at all, but I'm open to the idea of adopting, and my partner knows it. We are still too young to have children and start a family so we just vibe, but I was clear on that and he respects my decisions!

[@redroses1918]

True that's one of the most stupid questions ever!!! Specially considering the fact that the Doctor asked her that 🤣🤣🤯🤯🙉🙉😏😏😏

[@mabimabi2952]

if a man says he doesn't want children, literally no one cares, ppl say they understand, but when a woman says it, it's always "oh, you're gonna change your mind" no, i won't. I have not for 13 years. I do not wish to have children and even if i change my mind, it is my problem, not yours.

[@constantgaming2275]

I agree I'm 18, and if I say I don't care for children, especially because I'm horrible with kids, everyone says: "of course, it's your choice" But if my sister, who's 20, and is almost finishing college, says she's afraid of having children, wishing to life as she wishes, everyone suddenly think they know better It pisses both me and my parents off when I have to see my sister lost cry every time someone mentions motherhood to her It's like they forget she a human being, owner of her own body, with free will, and a good life ahead of her My sister may be studying to be a teacher for young children, but that doesn't mean she wants one of her own. It's infuriating that just because she handles children way better than most would, it's automatically expected of her to have one Nobody has got the guts to say anything about her in front of me of course, but I say, that if my sister is so selfish wishing childless life, then why am I not the same

[@unknownbeing9611]

Marina Mota welp, my family seems to be that exception of not caring if men chose to not have children as they persist that one day I’ll want to have a kid.

[@nazzarynnavarronunez9471]

As a 21 year old man, I disagree with your first statement. People DO care when I say I don't wan't children. They patronize me and say that I'm too young to know what I want and I'll change my mind.

[@elt2773]

@@nazzarynnavarronunez9471 that's your single case

[@dreamy7179]

@@nazzarynnavarronunez9471 where I live women gets shamed for not giving children for the nation.

[@Az-iq1lz]

The crazy thing is that she’s not advocating for humanity to become extinct. She just wants women to have bodily autonomy! She didn’t say that no woman should give birth, just that it’s okay if she doesn’t want to!

[@yyangcn]

The fact that she had to go on TEDTalk to spell out this problem and educate people about it is a testment to how unware and unempathetic a large portion of our society is toward women's issues. And this is coming from me as a guy too.

[@Briansimon2]

The Fuzz I'd say that it's still a mainly woman's issue. Some guys have this issue as well, but obviously it affects women way more.

[@dennisfoster6261]

bs

[@antonionotmyrealnamo6333]

You act as though people don't get why she doesn't want kids. Everyone gets it. They just think she's wrong about those reasons. People can be wrong about things, especially things rooted in their emotions. Additionally if she wants to do this fine, but please don't try to convince other people to follow in your footsteps. Western societies need people who are excited about the living of life and the reproduction of the species, not the consumption of entertainment and the burden on society you become not having children to care for you.

[@unidentifiedflyingtaco4601]

Well, we've got a long way to go before equality. I don't stand up for the pledge s I don't believe we have "Liberty and justice for all". Also, I disagree with pledging to a flag as a concept. America is the best and worst country on earth.

[@antonionotmyrealnamo6333]

Taco Tom: It's an ideal we have to strive for. Nobody believed we had Liberty and Justice For All when they created the pledge. Pledging allegiance does feel like a very pre-20th century concept though I agree.

[@Doc_Aspy]

The worst parent is a parent who didn't want to be a parent. Unless you're 163825833826% all in for having a kid, don't have a kid. Wish more people understood that.

[@annalang5687]

Doc "oh, you will love your kids once they are there" Now imagine something would say the same about a car purchase. Buy it, you'll like it once it's in your garage. Or a house. Hey, you don't want this house, but if you'd buy it, regardless of you being able to afford it or maintain it, but buy it. You'll love it eventually.

[@zendai2150]

Doc 🙏YES!!

[@StarCatcher_3287]

That's also y i think abortions are ok like mistakes happen. If you're not ready or you dont want it or you're too young or you were raped etc the list goes on.. then it's perfectly ok

[@nova396]

Doc I wish people would understand personal accountability more...

[@nova396]

bunny m Kids aren't cars. Back to the drawing board.

[@SafetyOff0]

"a woman's value should not be determined by if she has a child"

[@thasright7067]

@@wolfmalatest1724 By that logic, men aren't good for anything then, because they can't reproduce? 🤔

[@SafetyOff0]

Absolutely disgusted.

[@roaringwithexcitement1329]

@@wolfmalatest1724 , oh! So infertile women like me are useless?

[@calicocat7342]

@@wolfmalatest1724 we got an incel right here

[@RatNuggets]

@@wolfmalatest1724 The Incel energy is strong on this one-

[@888skl4]

These are real facts. I have 2 children … and now I think about all these things. No one educated me on it. I will educate my children on the reality of what it is to have children.

[@kathywriter3122]

I told my ex that I do not want to have a kid and that I want to adopt one and he said: "This is not the way to make a family". Well, as I said, he is now my ex.

[@kristyklaws3925]

Kathy Writer glad u dropped that fool

[@ania1976]

@@kristyklaws3925 why a fool? maybe just a person with different needs?

[@geek7227]

This happened with one of my friend but she married him and now she's miserable because that guy is a something else.

[@wilecatrexy]

@@kristyklaws3925 he's not a fool. He's a man. Ones that say he is are though

[@LucareonVee]

adi yaf I would. :)

[@micheleparadis2808]

Not only did I not change my mind (I'm 61 now), but I know quite a few who should have thought twice before having children...

[@menchum6442]

Maybe this sound weird but... can you tell us your experience? I've been told constantly that once I reach your age I'm just going to be lonely and abandoned by everyone as I won't have kids... I would really love to see a different point of view, if you don't mind

[@michal31131]

I would like to hear aswell

[@micheleparadis2808]

How much do you want to know?

[@michal31131]

Michèle Paradis For example, have you resived ALOT of "questions" or "criticism" about why you don't have children yet? And if you did recieve such a bombardment, how did you cope with it? I would like to try and explaining to some of my family members not to push me anymore, so any advice cam help. (Sorry in case of bad english)

[@micheleparadis2808]

Michal31131 It has been easy for me because I am what you would call an 'uncompromising' person. Usually people don't dare criticize me to my face because I have always felt and said ever since I can remember that the person who knows what is best for me is ME. I asked you how much do you want to know because I'm very independent and don't suffer meddling or controlling people even if they are family. I just don't need their company so they better be fun & interesting...Also, I've always PREFERRED my own company and the company of animals (pets,) I still have a few VERY good friends. And I have refused invitations for 'a cup of coffee' too many times for me to count. Time goes very fast, I was 30 yesterday... I can say now that you basically know who you are very young but usually family members talk you out of it...Feel free to ask any questions because a decision like that is MONUMENTAL and should not be made lightly.

[@dylankornberg4892]

God, I can't wait to never have children.

[@TheRandomchik15]

I say this ALL THE TIME!! 😂

[@makalaadams4]

i felt that 😂

[@dagmarh2583]

hahaha, same.

[@robertaramonaite2178]

@Journey Lawton Same

[@tracphonevirtualmagazine]

@Journey Lawton You're only 14 kid. Your life will have so many twists and turns as you get older that it's ridiculous. I'm not saying you're wrong I'm just saying you're going to spend more of your life as an adult than as a child. Make that decision as an adult there really is no rush. Unless you have some plan to die young.

[@Juggler1525]

I'm a man and I agree with you on everything. And it's messed up when you wanna make a safe informed decision for yourself and everyone tries to decide for you.

[@Nenezilla]

Born from a woman who didn't want me, but wouldn't dare chance killing herself during an illegal abortion (back in the day). I never wanted kids since I was 5...I'm 52 and childfree. And still have people feel like they have the right to comment on my life, needless to say I respond to them in unkind. That shuts them up. You just do you! If you want kids, great, if not, great. I't's your choice, never forget it.

[@StefWriter]

Ne Ne Zilla What kind of unkind responses do you give? I'm curious to know..

[@Nenezilla]

Stef Sears - depends on who says it, as it still amazes me random strangers and co-workers feel they have the right to say anything. I'll usually ask them a very personal question, which they say that's personal, and I respond yes so is your question, and I walk away. Or I'll say the most honest thing of all -- people like me shouldn't have children, as I didn't have a positive parental role model. People who don't want them shouldn't have them, pretty cut and dry. Thanks!

[@Khwerz]

How does it feel to have nobody that will care about you at the end of your life?

[@maryschwartz2451]

This grown woman's decision does not affect your life. Additionally, you aren't speaking very kindly of your own friends, or yourself, if you think only the people who are biologically tied to you will love you in your old age.

[@StAlchemyst]

Yeah well. Friends tend to be around the same age as you so... hope you aren't the last one...

[@Wednesdaywoe1975]

The question, "What if your future partner wants kids?" Insinuates your body belongs to someone you haven't met yet. My answer is always, "Then he is going to be disappointed. "

[@ValerieRaya]

My doctor took that a step further. I have a girlfriend (we have no intention of marrying yet due to buying a house in the future which marrying can complicate) and when he asked what about my husband I told him about my gf and the fact that she can carry out herself if she wants to (she doesn't). He stared at me, and then asked 'Yeah, but about your future husband?' He basically insisted for a few minutes that I will stop being a lesbian (which I am not) and start being straight (which I am not) once the 'desire for kids' sets in. All while ignoring that I have a heart condition that will kill me should I attempt to carry out. So basically, in his mind my uterus belonged to that person I have not met that I will leave my long-term girlfriend for to fulfill my desire to die carrying a child I don't want. We no longer go to that doctor.

[@kawaiikitty5679]

ValerieRaya This is pretty off topic but that was so well worded! Do you write books? Anyways, bless you and your gf! I don't want kids either and I'm lesbian so I defo get what you mean :/

[@ninar1218]

ValerieRaya omg wow that was so sad and shocking to read :(

[@dianatrejo2006]

Elena Christian Exactly and most men don't want kids if they did they'll stay eith your baby mamas.😂 The truth is always funny.

[@jeffrey4531]

No YOU insinuate that. Its not unreasonable to consider an other person in something you BOTH will have deal with for the rest of your lives. And your thought process is the problem to begin with.

[@princessnahema]

im going to be 36 this year. never married, no kids, no regrets. i prefer peace and quiet when i come home from work.

[@agostinacoronel2901]

Yessssssss

[@zereenakhtar8760]

Yaaaas queen

[@mastersonogashira1796]

Sounds good

[@casandramoiseanu6345]

Chloe Saad omg same queen!!!

[@spimentel562]

I envy you

[@snehabhat4876]

Having children is an extension of womanhood , not the definition 👏🏼👏🏼 This is what we need to understand. The sole purpose of a woman is not to pop out kids.

[@saeechougule6111]

Ya... Exactly...we are not BORN just to give BIRTH, to protect and increase our human civilization from falling or ending...WHO CARES abt this CRAZY and PATHETIC world... anyway... Live your life to the FULLEST...!! (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

[@dollieyt]

Very well said

[@sin3358]

Except that not every woman can have kids. It is rather disgusting how people always say "but you must have kids" while some just can't, even thought they want to. It's shameful that having your own life decisions is so taboo

[@theirbrotherhoodandfriends6101]

@@sin3358 you're right. It's really an insensitive and disgusting thing to say.

[@schuylergeery-zink1923]

Women are the source, women are creation, women are multipliers, women are muses, women are creators - of life or art or community. We don’t need to have children. Women are powerful bc we hold the key to life and inspiration. Either or both,

[@johnwongtw1]

Im male, married and I dont want children. People ask me all the time why not. I asked them will they help me finance and bring up the child.... the conversation switches very quickly.

[@User-72430]

Operative too bad

[@JusticeForNicholeAlloway]

Because you clearly only care about superficial things.

[@dub16rider]

I counter your question: Who is going to finance your retirement?

[@9CrystalDragon2]

I for one fully support your decision. I don't understand people who argue against this point do they want children to be brought up in an environment where the parent can't care for them?

[@9CrystalDragon2]

Anysome Bodyman I guess that would be a pension plan. Don't know the guy but most adults have them.

[@tamekiathecouponingcamperl5084]

I cant believe in 2019 this is still an issue.

[@LucareonVee]

tamekia curry Only because the desperate remnants of the 1950’s are screaming about how no one wants to be like them anymore. Wonder why that is. 😋

[@リンゴ酢-b8g]

it's the current year i can't even

[@raiezy]

Believe it

[@fjeldfross9327]

Yes, it is. And not only in the US. I face the same bullshit in germany. And I'm above 40 years old! "Its not to late to have kids. You will change your mind because of your age(woman midlife crisis)" Its upsetting. I know that I dont want children since I was 13! It wont change now.

[@versionalpha173]

Yes. In my country ( morroco ). You should answer the question 4 a day... even if i still young and just 2 years ago i got married... make me angry

[@kittyfox7]

I read a article once about people asking when you’ll have kids. You say “when I get tired of having all this time, money and sleep” I love children but I don’t think it’s for me.

[@diamondwolf3435]

Witty Vixen Same.

[@ChangLineShim]

I can totally relate. I love playing with children, but I just don't want any of my own.

[@MsElizaRae]

Facts

[@yeetskeet8512]

Preach that, we don't need to have kids

[@laurababe5177]

I want this tattooed on my forehead

[@Cristancho]

Openly not wanting children, and following through with it, is a most wise and noble endeavor.

[@LeloLife]

I tried to figure out why I don't want children, I've stopped trying to find a reason and I'm okay with not having one. I just don't want them.

[@mikajulius8148]

Lelo Life Amen!!😊👍

[@amys.5619]

@stitchedAngel17 Same here.

[@MellyGats]

I believe you need to have a VERY good reason TO have kids, not a specific reason not to have them. When I'm asked the "why" question, I say, "Why WOULD I have children when I've never wanted them?!?"

[@TheLadyEmerald809]

that is exactly how ive been feeling about having kids or really lack there of, for years. its as simple as saying i just dont want them and be done with it

[@gforce6902]

@@MellyGats that is EXACTLY IT. I think I read a quote from someone once that was something to the effect of "the chance that I might regret not doing it doesn't seem like a good enough reason to do it". not having kids is the neutral option. unless you have a particular and CLEAR desire to have children, you shouldn't. That really should be a simple sentiment to understand and accept, seeing as having children is such a ridiculously gargantuan undertaking: physically, emotionally, financially, professionally, etc.

[@becauseijustcantsleep1579]

For a someone who is still a kid, who has been through the foster care system because of a mother who was not prepared for motherhood, I have always known that I don't want any children. Everyone I have spoken to has told me the same thing. By teachers, by neighbors, by church members, the only person who has never belittled me for such a thought process, was my adoptive mother. I had always wanted to take up some sort of professional job and see the world, and she prepared me as such. One day, I even asked her why she never gave me the same response as everyone else, to which she said, " Because as a woman who was disowned for not bringing more grandchildren for my father and instead choosing to raise you and your sisters, I understand where you're coming from. Maybe not exactly, but trust me. You have your whole life ahead of you and from what I know, you could be a great mother, but that's if you choose to. It's a matter of choice, but it's yours to make."

[@thenobleandmightybeaver4411]

Because - Bravo mom! I'm thrilled that you were adopted into a supportive loving home and made it out of the system. I worked within child protection when I was a social worker and it always boggled the mind why there is this massive emphasis and pressure put onto people to have children when we do a very poor job of taking care of children who find themselves in the system. It would be amazing if we could redirect some of the monies and energies towards promoting pregnancy to caring for children in the child protection/foster care system. If we promoted adoption and fostering to the same degree we do childbirth I wonder what the results would be? Good luck in your future endeavours.

[@elizabethengland8165]

This is amazing. As a full grown adult, with 2 kids and a bad upbringing, I wish my mom had been of sound enough mind to know her and my dad shouldn't have had kids.

[@tinahuttner7280]

I totally get it, as someone that's a overseas adoptee I have a feeling my mom shouldn't of been one.I think she tried cause I was 4 and half when I came to the states.think bout her and what she went through but the way I see it is that I've made a lot of people happy, my parents and the friends I have.I guess I was meant to happen.

[@davidgold3nrose]

The Noble and Mighty Beaver in some countries it's to combat the aging population, but I've always thought it'd be better to pay for people who can't have babies to do ivf than offer people money to have babies. Those children usually just go into foster care anyway.

[@pt1451]

Bless your mother

[@recklesslove2880]

I work at a daycare and half the parents don't want to be around their crying, nagging, annoying kids they drop them off even on their days off work , . ., . WHY have kids ????

[@eli-ld]

Beth Cavin i think it‘s more of how they think the parents see their kids

[@recklesslove2880]

@Beth Cavin that's what the parents say to me about their kids.I had a parent call to say she was spending her day off with her 3 year old and 2 hrs later she brought her in said she couldn't stand her and she wanted to have a peaceful day to herself

[@recklesslove2880]

@Beth Cavin No it's what the parents say about their children they only spend two days with their kids Saturday and Sunday , Monday morning it's complain , after complain about their kids .I believe they are parents who are not ready for kids......all my parents are young and some are very honest on how they feel about having kids .. we are raising their kids we experience first words and first steps , crawling ECT ...

[@willnill7946]

Kids of working mothers who hate their kids

[@LucareonVee]

HappyandAtheist Everyone decides for themselves. Only problem is that not enough people are making the decision to not procreate. :p

[@anja1410]

Thank you. Just thank you. I never liked kids, even when I was a child. I always preferred spending time with older people. In my 30s, still don't want kids. I am so tired of being told "you'll change your mind" (I won't) and "you're depriving me of grandkids" (not my problem). Thank you again. This brought tears to my eyes and I really needed it.

[@lucyhannah1227]

Imagine if a man went to get a vasectomy and had to go through stages of hearing women doctors telling him he's a little boy and 'what would his wife think' ....yikes

[@bjohnson2655]

Actually, my wife had to sign a consent document before I could get a vasectomy.

[@yoyococonuggets6922]

B Johnson That's fucking ridiculous. It's YOUR body.

[@mrnonsense1031]

A similar thing happened to me a few years back, every doctor I went to said I needed a consent form signed by a wife/girlfriend, and I needed to be cleared by at least 4 mental health professionals.

[@alexissnead225]

@@bjohnson2655 wow... See, in the state where I live, I often see billboards advertising vasectomies, as well as radio commercials saying that you can "watch football while you recover" and it won't effect your work, because you can return in under a week.

[@SP-se3zf]

@@mrnonsense1031 incredibly messed up, obviously. It's absurd that anyone would need a signed form of someone they have a relationship with to have a procedure on their own body

[@Plasticplas1]

I work with children. Not everyone should have children. Why do people care if people aren't breeding? It literally effects no one but them and their family. Why aren't we more actively telling people to stop having babies they can't care for, if its okay to comment on what someone does with their reproductive organs. None of it is anyone's business.

[@beatricewilliams9443]

Plasticplas1 I know, some of my friends have parents that don't want them and treat them like crap because "they ruined their youth" some people just shouldn't be parents.

[@klimtklavier]

It's not anyone's responsibility to refill the gene pool. 7 billion "miracles" is enough.

[@tinahuttner7280]

Peter Kazavis ha right on!

[@fjourdain1]

Sema i

[@aribailor3766]

Precisely. Screw the human race. Don't have children...

[@mikeock9525]

When she said 1 in 5 women will not have kids, I was shocked because I also thought it was rare. I am so glad youtube recommended this to me I feel so less alone (Edit: I came back here after a year because I totally forgot I left this comment, I'm so surprised, I love you all!)

[@user-dq2ym1nn9k]

i'm 39. not a maternal bone in my body. love my child-free peaceful life. you are not alone.

[@kayann3]

me too *hugs*

[@thelightwecarry]

Me too love

[@thelightwecarry]

You are not alone

[@danielletanguay7272]

Almost 38 and child free by choice. I am the best aunt ever and very involved but at the end of the day I go home to my fur babies!

[@elivenelivenny8197]

I’m 27 and Even the thought of having children makes me sick to my stomach .. I feel like my life would end if I have children. I have huge goals for my life and won’t sacrifice my freedom and myself for something i am expected to do

[@Melissa-rb6ct]

Same

[@LucareonVee]

The only thing you’re supposed to do is figure out what makes you happy, as long as it doesn’t involve doing harm to others.

[@γιουργια]

Ok i respect you decision but you are exaggerating, life doesn't end once someone has children lmao.

[@orangetwingo]

Lmao

[@invincibleTiger9954]

​​@@γιουργια lol yea jt does, most of your freedom goes away. Respect choices

[@RubiMercuri]

This is literally one of the biggest pressures society pushes on to women. I don't want children but I always get pressured into thinking about it solely because of society forcing it onto me. I've always been told I will change my mind and I'm looked at strange if I say I don't want kids. Like I'm a strange foreigner from a other planet. Not everyone is meant to raise children. I acknowledge that I am not in a good mental state to raise a child or financially stable. Everyone needs to think about the life you will hold on your hands.

[@Charlie-gc1yv]

RubiMercuri My grandma and mom allowed me to bring a dog back home when I was young. I didn’t knew what to do with it. I just knew they liked to play and eat, I didn’t took into consideration that they also need to crap and all of that. Once the dog have done it I was selfish enought to not do anything about it and bring it back to the countryside. God help my soul if I will ever have a kid I swear I won’t know to do anything.

[@patsaxon5284]

But later in life, you will have regrets of not raising a large family. Using birth control is a sinful act against God. Who is going to take care of you in your old age?

[@heperfectirl9470]

By that same logic, you are saying every time a woman menustrates, she is sinning against God. Every egg that a woman has and will ever have is made during fetal development.

[@haileybeasley6940]

Pat Saxon later in life if I did have a child I would regret it. I’d rather regret not having a child than regret having a child and not being able to give it adequate love and support.

[@sundayoliver3147]

@@patsaxon5284 If caring for you in your old age is your reason for having a child, isn't that a selfish reason?