I Failed My Doctoral Candidacy Exam | normalizing failure

[@originalmings1991]

The older I get (now 30) I’m realizing that your life is your journey alone; that each of us was born into this world alone and finding out our paths as we go along. No matter the criticisms, no matter the successes of others, the important thing is following our own paths no matter what happens along the way and you’ll realize that you’re already winning

[@lynnaih2689]

Wow this is beautiful thank you I needed this❤️

[@iambryyyan]

Literally made me cry. Since turning 30, I’ve been having critical thoughts about myself and where I am in life. I have a nursing degree but have yet to pass the NCLEX. I work at a medical clinic as a receptionist/clinic assistant. Some days, I feel like maybe I should go back to school and major in something other than nursing. Other times, I feel like I should quit my job and move elsewhere and see what is destined for me. Other times, I just feel like I’m on cloud nine; I may hold a basic job, but there are so many other people who, for whatever reason, don’t have / can’t hold a job. I should push that aside and just be grateful for where I am in my life; I have a place to call home, I’m able to eat 3 meals a day, fuel up my car, etc. So, thank you for the comment. I am a winner.

[@wolfiesasha887]

Thiiis !!!! I'll be 30 this year and i really realized that it's so important to listen to my needs , and if something doesn't work out that's ok too, we can always start again. All my friends have career and married and kids, but my journey is different , sometimes i do feel bad , but everything comes at it's time

[@wolfiesasha887]

@@iambryyyan same with me !! And with the jobs too 🤣 find something that really enjoy

[@ya_done]

absolutely

[@visenya8]

As someone who is currently doing PhD I wish I had failed the qualification exam. PhD ended up being very different from what I'd imagined and frankly a bit of a disappointment. So here I am now contemplating quitting the program. What I'm trying to say is sometimes failure can also be a blessing in disguise. It can teach you a lot and make you see new opportunities that are not as obvious to you at the moment. Sometimes it can be the best thing that has happened to you, just keep believing in yourself and your journey. :)

[@nostalgia545]

I was in a PhD program for ~3 years and failed my QE but quit right after that and left with two masters. I don’t regret quitting but I regret waiting so long to quit

[@irisikey]

Contemplating quitting was a phase for me too. I quit n came back after 1 year. Try finding yourself and spend time getting to know God for yourself. It may be an experience you need to help others or maybe there’s something else out there for you.🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@sunnybunny406]

I’ve never quite thought about things like this before, and also never heard anyone say something like this before - it’s very interesting to see a different perspective on failure, especially when everyone always says “just keep trying”. I like that you mention failure could be a blessing in disguise - like you said, sometimes things happen for a reason which often isn’t apparent in the moment. I’m commenting so I can maybe be reminded of this again in the future 😅 Also, I know you wrote this 5 months ago so maybe your circumstances may have changed somewhat now, but just want to wish you all the best if you did decide not to stick with the phd (or likewise, if you did decide to stick with it, I hope you’re able to find happiness with it - even though there may have been parts you didn’t enjoy, I bet you still picked up so many amazing skills, PhDs are tough!)

[@keeptaiwanfree]

my situation is VERY different but this is exactly how i felt about being rejected from the film schools i applied to for college. when i was rejected, i actually went through a lot of thinking and discovery of myself and i found out that i did not want to pursue a career in film after a LOT of self-reflection. i am now in university studying pre-law and that's my current plan for my life. it feels so much more right. and i know that if i were accepted to the film school i really wanted to go to, i would have gone without thinking about it more and i'd probably study the whole four years and THEN realize what my my true passion and ideal lifestyle are. and by then it would be impossible to turn back time and start over again.

[@asflowerbeauty2503]

How is phd different from what you have imagined ?

[@daniahmiller3336]

Woooosh I'm in here crying. Girl...first of all, I've been following you for YEARS, I'm so invested in your academic journey it's wild lol. CONGRATULATIONS on jumping that hurdle. Second of all, I lost my scholarship in Undergrad (back in 2013) because I failed a class the semester before and didn't make my credit count (I was there on a near full scholarship because broke). I called my sister SCREAMING, my heart was broken. I appealed the decision (which I didn't even know I could do), my funding was partially reinstated (cue student loans) and I was put on academic probation. I had every kind of crisis possible during that time - existential, identity, faith, everything. But baby I made it, and SO WILL YOU! Can't wait for the rest of the journey to unfold. You're killing it.

[@kandacenoire]

When you said every kind or crisis I felt that. And didn’t even know I could. Congrats!

[@tboss3276]

Jesus loves you!😊❤

[@keayannadavis9836]

mhm felt that!

[@keana1057]

I am literally about to be in this situation right now. Thank you so much for sharing your story 💛

[@ollieollie1340]

Ahh I’m in the middle of something like this right now and I am really scared.

[@arturiaful]

Thank you for sharing this! Your journey and normalizing "failure" will help so many, especially in academia. I'm a current I-O Psych PhD student. I originally planned to take candidacy exams in February but I had to push them to Fall due to mental health (depression). Mot gonna lie, I still struggle with the fact that I didn't complete them "on time,." But, at the end of the day, finishing is the goal doesn't matter if its a semester or two (or years) after you initially wanted

[@larklarkleahleah62]

I’m hoping to get into my local io masters program this Upcoming fall! What does your program consists of?

[@arturiaful]

@@larklarkleahleah62 awesome, congrats! And the program consists of classes for about 2 1/2 years, thesis (if you don’t have your masters already), preliminary exams and dissertation

[@sallykims2024-sk]

Psych student going through depression

[@nctsgrass]

Oh io psych! Next year I start my masters and I think of choosing IO psych, i hope it'll be the good decision lol. I wish the best for you on your journey !

[@nctsgrass]

@@sallykims2024-sk as shocking as a doctor getting sick

[@McBaller96]

I can't even describe how wonderful this has been to see. I feel this enormous academic pressure all the time, I feel like I'm constantly trying to prove myself as a black girl in a STEM field. I got into an amazing school and I couldn't even enjoy it because I became super overwhelmed by the fear of failure. REACHING MILESTONES SHOULD BE CELEBRATED!!! and sometimes we stumble on our way up the hill but that's okay

[@dittosame-o67]

I feel you. I’m a black girl in STEM and it’s hard to celebrate when I’m so dead set on proving myself and passing. I’ve been so depressed. But this video is inspiring, and your comment is too! ❤

[@josephdahdouh2725]

prove yourself to yourself or to others? I feel like everyone has to prove themselves in a STEM program, and this is not limited to a certain gender or ethnicity. Maybe it depends on the country? But, here exams are mostly objective, so everyone is equal. If you are proving to yourself in a way that you think you are doing more than others, Idk if that is a healthy approach. I would want to be comfortable with myself, and prove that I am doing good, and I do sometimes blame my history of the idea. Oh! I came from this background, so I am proud of the milestones I have completed. In reality, that was just to try and build my ego, and I needed to be humbled. Don't take your history to boost yourself like that because being humbled as a I am assuming you are a healthcare worker will land you places that egoism can't. Anyway, I am a STEM too, and I know how overwhelming it is, so I wish you the best of luck. And btw I wrote this because I used to think that proving myself was healthy, but it also made me remember all the traumas I had, and that was causing me depression instead alleviate the pain. Now, I think of it, I am a student in a system where most students fail, but I want to put on the effort, so that I don't be that student who fails. But, If I do fail somewhere, I have to keep fighting, and learn from it rather stress about it for long. That realization probably came to me after I intentionally flopped a final exam because I realized how unhealthy it is to be sort of feeling lonely is a lonely world meaning that my story was not good for me, so I needed to help myself forget about it by you can say forming close-nit relationships with friends, rather than dwell on the past(waste of time+energy+traumatic+added stress+excuses to accept failure rather than fight against failure and ignore all the irrelevant stuff related to the young old days). I don't know if you got all that, but I am happy to have written this :)

[@MrTrollo2]

how does your gender or skind colour play into this? If anything, minorities have an advantage in STEM, because everyone there would LOVE a more diverse work environment.

[@josephdahdouh2725]

@@MrTrollo2 Yep. I don't see how that correlates, but it really depends on the STEM path+culture+country...

[@eleanor8652]

@@MrTrollo2 For me, it’s the feeling that people expect you to fail and that your failure will be used as proof that black people/women/black women can’t do something.

[@nessie0067]

I so relate. I failed my comprehensive exam after having spent 3 years trying to obtain my master's. I failed both essays so I have to retake in the fall. Watching this video was so comforting and I just realized that I did go through the 5 stages of grief. Just now getting out of depression.

[@cheesyfeetgeoguessr4651]

hope you're doing well!

[@mikiamills8131]

Whew chileeeee !! I failed my NCLEX exam to become licensed to become a nurse and I was devastated 😭 I have since passed (praise the lord) but failing ain’t nothing nice. I am also used to being an A student and excelling in school, so to fail that test was gut wrenching. I appreciate you for sharing the positivity that can come from a unideal situation. The lesson of getting back up after falling is just as important as showcasing your wins. Thank you again for your transparency ❣️

[@amp7853]

Hey, hope all is well. Congrats on passing! I’ve failed twice now, do you have any tips? I’m so discouraged and depressed. I wanna pass before the nextgen comes in April but idk man.

[@kiralovegod6746]

This is a whole word!!!!

[@onceuponanexploration6048]

From what I have heard even competitive schools have nursing students that fail to the point where it threatens there accreditation. You would be surprised some of the schools which are "at risk" for losing accreditation.

[@annabobanaasmr8411]

I failed my private pilot written, which I've been told I probably shouldn't even be a pilot if I fail something so easy. They were easy questions, especially after going back and legit studying,but I had rushed beforehand.

[@naturl2012]

Failure is DEFINITELY a part of LIFE that makes you more MOTIVATED at what ever you're trying to ACCOMPLISH. 💖

[@iamassyl]

life would be so boring if everything went well with no hardships 😃 the tough part is LIVING through the failure in the moment but once you overcome it, you feel good and grateful for the journey

[@Kenghym]

This takes me back to that one chemistry exam I failed three times, which left an oral exam as my last chance to not get kicked out of uni. I was devestated, my life was 'over'. Yet somehow I picked myself up and studied for three days, passing the oral exam in a breeze. To this day this is my proudest achievement and has had the greatest impact on my life. Learning how to deal with defeat and to still keep going (if possible) is powerful.

[@FineNaturalHairandFaith]

Quitting is not an option so thankfully you passed so this is for someone else. People definitely need to understand that “failing” is part of the success journey 😊

[@ajoellet]

I was just talking to someone about how rare it is to see vulnerability from our peers. Loveeee this and a great reminder that failure is ok. Congratulations!

[@ThrivingNotDying]

Lady I got flashbacks to failing one part of my comprehensive exam when getting my Masters. So much stress!!! It put me in the hospital. Had a breakdown months later when I had to retake the exam because the questions weren't anything that I studied. Long story short. I passed and promised myself to never do that shit again!

[@BreLJ]

One more thing, I love how you did not accept defeat! You contacted the right people and figured out exactly what you needed to do to win and you did it! I freaking love that!!

[@brieoliver]

I'm over here crying watching your journey lol. I'm so glad you persevered and used this set-back as your launching pad. Failure is NORMAL and thank you for being so real about it. It can feel so lonely thinking youre the only one going through something when everybody fails. Kudos to you for passing your oral defense! You got this Aaron! 👏🏾

[@TeAmoAaron]

don't cryyyyyy! I cried watching it back too. I also have never recorded myself crying because it's quite strange but felt it was needed here lol.

[@brieoliver]

@@TeAmoAaron My heart is so soft. I cant help the tears lol. I empathize with how hard academia can be sometimes. It really drags you by the edges and makes you question if this is even the right path. I'm glad you found a way to weather the storm and are open enough to show folks your process.

[@ennisiahenderson7624]

That bounce beat brought me so much joy lol. I'm really proud of you, I even cried when they announced that you "passed" your oral defense. I graduate from my doctorate in social work program May 2023 as well. Our writing starts this summer so this is a sobering (but welcome) reminder that they are not giving away these degrees. I'm super proud of you and I will rejoice with you May 2023! Congratulations!!!

[@love2live4]

Your candor in sharing your struggles and setbacks shows your absolute resiliency. I really appreciate your honesty here and commend you for processing your situation and moving forward with determination. 💕💕

[@DH-qx2ku]

I’m a 1st year PhD student in sociology (week away from being a 2nd year) and I am also researching something that has no prior literature. I FEEL YOUR PAIN when you discussed the obstacles of writing a literature review on a topic that hasn’t been studied before. I wish you the best on your journey and I am sending positive thoughts your way!! Congratulations on passing your preliminary exams!!!!! Thank you for sharing your transparency it really helps as someone who will be doing preliminary exams in the future to see your journey.

[@annhans3535]

At 50 something, I have realized that with age comes a lot of different perspective on everything. Failing while it feels devastating when it happens can be a learning tool if you don't take the failure as a new identity.

[@shachede6828]

Failure doesn’t need to normalize. It’s already normal. Everyone fails it’s fine. But thanks for speaking about it. Also I watched your channel from day. You’re always going to be great.

[@haileywalls8504]

I definitely disagree. Especially on social media, it's very rare for people to discuss their failures and they usually focus on the highlights. Even in real life, many feel shameful for their failures and it's hard for them to talk about. Failure is certainly not a topic people are comfortable discussing so I appreciate this video.

[@AlexisTwoLastNames]

something being normal doesn't mean society accepts it tho! periods are normal, but many religious groups call them shameful. there are tons of examples but my brain isn't giving me anymore that easily right now

[@deadsetondreams1988]

I completely understand what you are saying; I personally know everyone fails but I feel like it is not advertised as much. The majority of stories that are shared are just when people have successes. Everything is condensed into here's where I came from and here's where I'm at now but not many people share the in-between moments. Especially on social media, most just show results or fake depictions of life that are photoshopped or edited in some way, shape, or form. For those that happen to want to highlight more realistic depictions of events, they are ostracized in a lot of ways as being mentally unstable or incapable. There is a stigma with failure that adds stress on those feeling it that doesn't allow them to share it a lot of the time because they fear they will be rejected for it which is said. I feel like recognizing we have failed and showing that life does go on after failures based on how you deal with them is key. And this was the most perfect depiction of someone doing just that. The more people see this kind of content, the more people will be able to share their own stories of this happening without feeling shame! And I for one and all for that.

[@shimaalcarrim7949]

Yeah tell that to my parents who used to get passive aggressive with me for a week anytime I got less anything less than an A (which was most of the time)

[@Elias-xx5ff]

its definitely not normalized or talked about enough especially in the capitalistic hustle culture america is

[@lyricxlmxchi8676]

That's how I felt with job interviews and my 1st driving test. You cry it out and then say "fuck it, ima get it next time. Ain't got nothing on me" and just kinda go through the healing process. It's hard to accept failure when people around you doesn't accept it and think it's an end all be all, and it's not. So it's like you just kinda go through the motions until you realize that your failures doesn't define you and you can always try again.

[@xoitsrach]

I love this so much. It reminds me of when I failed my cosmetology written test December last year. I felt so defeated but knew I had to try again. Two days after I graduated in January I passed. Failure is normal & should be more normalized!

[@Miz_amie]

You're such a hard worker💕 You'll get where ever u want to go because of your work ethiiicc and who you are. no matter what happens gurl your going places that's a FACT!! I put my life on that.

[@TeAmoAaron]

And so are you beauty!!

[@tribecalledFASHION]

Whewwwww this video came just in time. Legit cried through the whole thing because I just failed my doctoral exit exam and I too went through all 5 stages of grief. Now I’m at the point where I’m picking myself up and going even harder with my studying as i have another chance at taking it and this time I will pass! Like you said it’s so hard normalizing failure especially when you’ve spent the last 2+ years working so hard towards a certain goal just not to get the intended outcome you hoped for. But this video def inspired me and I’m sure others!!

[@kayv5840]

I wasn’t expecting to see this topic online anywhere really, so I really appreciate this. I learned the hard way to accept and learn from what we perceive as “failures.” I’ve learned that for some, the failure showed them how bad they really wanted something and pushed them to be more serious. That happened to a friend who failed the nursing license. She retook classes and took the test again and she is a nurse now! For others, it’s a redirection. I realized and accepted that my original plans weren’t meant to be, and I switched schools and my major while feeling like a failure. I also switched schools because I wasn’t going to give up on getting a degree. That was 4 years ago and I’m happy about the direction I am in now. 😊

[@cblw14]

Thank you for sharing this! I took my PhD oral exam yesterday and although I passed from what I could hear from the hallway while my professors discussed, there was some doubt about passing me or not. This was an absolute blow and very painful. I'm still emotional about it, but you're video encourages me to keep pressing forward. It's honestly refreshing to see someone being authentic and letting others in on their struggles.

[@imdoinbttrthnu]

Totally needed this. I’m crying over a TEAS test just to get into my nursing program. I failed it past October, granted I didn’t study as I put all my focus in Microbiology and an English course I was taking. This Thursday I go at it again, and refuse to fail! Thanks again for this video. About to get back to studying, somehow I ended up in the rabbit hole of KZbin and ended up here. 😆❤️👋🏾

[@unsolicitedopinions7769]

Ok so this just gave me the final push I needed to go back to school. Failure definitely needs to be normalized and finding the reason and motivation to move forward is necessary for advancement. Congratulations on your candidacy!!

[@dittosame-o67]

I'm glad! How's school?

[@laurenadams6856]

It’s alright! One small fork in the road. God got your back. This is only a minor setback for a major setback. Proud of you, God loves you.

[@TeAmoAaron]

I CLAIM THIS!

[@heidikoenig8667]

Thank you for sharing! I am in a 5 year Chemistry PhD program. I had a different process for my candidacy; you write a research proposal outlining all the work you will do for the next three years and then you have an oral defense. I passed my written with flying colors but failed my oral. You get a second chance and I waited 9 month and then did it again and passed (this past September). The time between those oral defenses was such a roller coaster and I have never experienced failure like that. It’s awesome you feel comfortable sharing, I hid under a rock and tried not to tell a soul as much as I could. I was so ashamed. I feel like it was one of the most life changing positive experiences after I got out of that though. ❤

[@annelisecoffey2315]

As someone who is in a PsyD program who has had experiences just like this, I am so grateful that you are sharing this. I needed to see someone who also struggled because I felt so alone.

[@Melissanista]

As a phd candidate I related to this so much. It’s such an emotional process. Congrats on passing!!

[@cruzansweetheart9666]

I went through the emotions with you. It was like watching myself up there with all my failures. However, you learned from it and got back up pushed forward through the hurt. I'm so proud of you. CONGRATULATIONS 🎊. I'm living vicariously through you. 😆

[@BreLJ]

Girl shit!!! I was up and down with you lol I don’t know you personally but honeyyyyy im so proud of you!! Thank God you did not give up, hard work pays off!! This was so good to see; I hope to continue to see you kick ass on this journey and beyond! ♥️

[@MrsLPAmy]

In my studies, it's also really hard to admit failure to others. I hate that. Thanks for making this video!

[@JiannisJourney]

"And what's so crazy is, I know God is so good. When you fail, or like--when you don't do well, but you know it's for you. Like I know this pain is for me." That brought me to teaaaars. You have a new subscriber. That completely resonated with me. Thank you so much for sharing this video. I'm so grateful that creators are finally allowing themselves to be more vulnerable on this platform. It's so needed.

[@MrTrollo2]

how can someone think something like this but still go for a phd? Seems to me like two clear opposite things

[@niveditadhankhar]

normalizing failure is weirdly motivating to go ahead and succeed with everything i've got really needed a video like this, i've been in a very very tight spot for a couple of years! all the love to you :)

[@YanYanYizzy]

This is a sign from God, but thank you for sharing this. I just started my first recent-recent-recenttttt grad job and was let go yesterday. I am a perfectionist and trying to deal with FOF since I started school. I’m on track to do what I need to do, but most importantly to see and remind myself that failure is a necessary purpose for evolution and i’m just really thankful that you shared your truth. Huge congratulations to you. 🎉

[@gloriablaise8845]

Congrats Pre Doc!! I cried at the congratulations portion, I honestly feel like this is the hardest part of a doc program and so happy that you got past this milestone!! Oh and the makeup and hair 😂😂😍😍!

[@tylerjonel]

the transparency in this video is breathtaking! we've all been there (without video documentation) and that makes me even more proud of your accomplishment! celebrate every small win! can't wait to watch and see how far you go! side note: we both will graduate May 2023 with doctoral degrees!

[@lennsaturday5566]

Current masters student here. I know what this is like and the process of being disheartened and burnout after is a cycle that is so hard to get out of to motivate yourself try again, and again and again. I admire your persistence and self-worth knowing that although it sucks right now YOU'RE gonna do everything you can to make it right. I really needed this reminder that everything happens to us for a lesson and its okay to feel like shit but know in the back of your head its part of the process. I'm sure you've seen it a bunch already in the comments but that you for normalizing failure and actually showing the failure. Also side note but my dumb ass never thought to do research on the same thing in neighbouring fields if research doesn't exist, thats going to help me so much in my upcoming thesis defence so thank you for that truly haha

[@marthagizaw4914]

Congratulations on becoming a persevering candidate! I just started grad school with qualifying exams in July. Your video is such an inspiration, and I'm pretty confident that I won't fail.

[@Kimmy2hope]

My favorite quote from this video was “I have read all the books. We read these books and sh*t happens so you can process it better. And sh*t still hurts like a b*tch!” Lol this was a great video. Thank you for normalizing failure 💕

[@rhemafaithh]

I love your spirit so much!!! I’m also a PhD student. Second year. At your alma mater actually lol (HU) - and this is so inspiring. Congratulations on not giving up & passing your oral defense! I wish I was still in GA sometimes, I would love to have a friend like you

[@BellzyBellz]

This is just the video I needed to see. About to take a very important exam in my life and I don't feel ready at all. Seeing this made me realize that failing that exam won't be the end of the world. Thank you for this!

[@CookinandVibnwithT]

Failure is merely a setup for a comeback. Initially it's human nature to be upset and disappointed. Timing is everything, when it's your time it'll truly be effortless. Continued blessings 🙏🙏 Queen 👑 you got it.

[@TeAmoAaron]

Absolutely!

[@CookinandVibnwithT]

@@TeAmoAaron you got this reset mentally and handle it, now you know what to expect, game changer!!

[@CJ-2015]

When they said you passed, I started sobbing because I relived failing my comprehensive exam for my clinical doctorate. Proud of US!

[@poet82n]

Currently in my final year of my Masters program and everything that could happen is. I lost my mom in March, then the day before her burial one of my closest cousins passed away. Then a couple weeks ago my godmother had open heart surgery after complaining that her chest and back hurt and no one knew. It happened out of nowhere. She's currently in ICU. Master's program has been emotionally challenging and draining but I'm pushing through. I'm on track to graduate in December BUT I'm so overwhelmed. And, I've been considering my doctoral program after. I'm so happy you've been vlogging your academic journey. It's encouraging. Bless you, Aaron!

[@inprogress5210]

I'm currently an Undergrad student studying Psychology and sometimes when I get low grades I do feel a bit down, and go through a negative phase and then recover. My current GPA is ok but not the highest. It's a real journey. Good luck on your journey sis. 👍🏼

[@zeexoxo4583]

May 31st, I start my first semester in my EdD program. (With aspirations of becoming a high school principal.) I’m the only black person in my cohort, and I’m also the youngest (coming straight from undergrad). I’m scared but I’m ready to start this journey. I love how vulnerable you are, and I’m glad you are normalizing failure. ♥️

[@kp74952]

I admire your attitude! Failure is one of the toughest things to go through, especially when it's something that means so much to us. Happy to see you turned it around and made it work!

[@bagjuicemami]

It’s that determination!!!!!! I am so proud of you, Aaron. You’ve come so far and have huge dreams of going further. My money is on you girl!!

[@antoniaaguayog]

I was looking for some motivational videos and I came across yours. A few days ago I failed my degree exam which was going to make an English teacher (I am from Chile!). It was an oral defense for a case they gave us. To see someone that went through something very similar really gives me hope. I have been quite depressive for these days and I hope to get better and study better (and also meet my professor, who offered me a meeting and feedback of course just like you!). I am very happy for you and I'm sure you will be a great professional.

[@TravellerZasha]

I believe that the feeling of grief can happen outside of death. I've gone through the feeling of grief this year after my boss was let go. I've also gone through failure many times and can understand it evoking feelings of grief. I'm glad you're normalising the process of failure. We've been taught that academics is a straightforward journey which i've learned is not the case.I'm sorry but glad that you experienced what you've been through, especially when you're not used to it. I myself am a B student who has a mix of failed classes as well as A grade classes. I sooo know the feeling of working your butt off on an essay, only to get a low mark cause it "didn't answer the question". One of the worst feelings in academia cause of how abstract essays are so it's okay to feel what you did. I'm so proud of you for taking your break to process the failure. I'm also proud of you for trying a doctoral exam, I wished I was confidently smart enough to even attempt such and i'm glad it all worked out in the end for you! I hope this failure will help you in your journey of life!

[@MinimalistSwan]

I’m currently doing my finals for high school, and let me tell you. While I am still studying as hard as I can and doing my very best during each exam, I feel like hope is already lost. I have been going through crises daily, and stressing myself out with the fact that I am failing and others aren’t. Seeing this video in my recommendations feels almost like a hug from unknown forces. Thank you for sharing this with everyone. If I fail, I know it’s okay and I will always have another chance and other paths to go in.

[@SarahDMorse]

As a Geology Master's student applying to PhD programs for next year, I FEEEEEEL this video in my soul. I have had intense imposter syndrome ever since I started my degree and fear of failure is immense. I'm so glad that the video ended with you getting your candidacy! Major congrats.

[@emilythoman]

i appreciate you for sharing this. i'm a phd student about to take comps in a little over a month and am starting to get more nervous. failure and rejection are so common throughout this process and it doesn't get talked about the way it should. a big congratulations on passing and best wishes as you continue :) side note: i find the hierarchy & gatekeeping of letters/degrees so 🙃

[@DM-qw2ng]

Good luck to you!

[@emilythoman]

@@DM-qw2ng thanks so much!

[@kaitlinstringer7554]

I am a little late to watching, but I can't even begin to tell you how helpful this video was. I am pretty sure I've failed my masters degree. Its pretty devastating because I put all of my savings into this degree and got some gnarly student debt along the way. I was struck by two incredible losses and finishing the degree all became too much. So I underperformed and failed in the end. I hurts so bad and I feel SO embarrassed. But it helps to hear the ways other people get through failure in academia. It is so painful, but that's just life. I can move forward from this. Thank you so much ❤

[@adaa23456]

As a high-achiever currently going through this process, this video was absolutely necessary. Thank you so so so so so much.

[@ladybird1971]

You can do it! Don’t worry! These are the trials we encounter that just strengthen us, light a fire under us and keep us pressing forward. I felt like a fish out of water throughout my doctoral program but conquered it! Now that you have allowed yourself as a human to go through all of the emotions necessary to feel, do what you need to do to tackle that oral defense and get it! You’ve got what it takes!

[@555Alchemist]

Girl I’ve been on this journey with you since 2020, I believe. I’m soooooo proud of how far you’ve come. You did THAT! And I need one of those budget journals, pls 😭

[@gracehinds6283]

Thank you for sharing your experience with the world. The stress is real. I know firsthand how difficult the process can be. I completed my Ph.D. in Educational Leadership in 2017. It was the most difficult and rewarding time of my life. Like you, I shed many tears after passing the defense hearing. It was the happiest day of my life. I wish you great success. You've accomplished the first big hurdle, the qualifying exams. Getting past the dissertation level is much more labor intensive. I think you will succeed because you're willing to do the work. God bless you. Please let us know when you pass the defense of your dissertation hearing. We will rejoice with you!

[@eve-marieouellette]

This video has HELPED ME so much… After feeling like a failure for the last few years, I truly needed to see someone normalize failure. You sharing your failure might have saved my life. 💕 Thank you so much!

[@bensdad03]

I have no idea how this video ended up in my feed... but I'm SO GLAD IT DID! Can I just say that I said an audible and guttural "YES!" when they said you passed. I've had several failures/disappointments in my life recently and that build up was starting to get to me. Your experience being shared here has lifted me up and refreshed my drive to keep pursuing the things I almost gave up on. Thank you and best wishes on your journey!

[@heliasaladin2614]

Now that’s an Amazing journey I am doing my Business degree…. 1st year was fun and practically easygoing…. Year 2 was practically headache I just failed the same exam twice…this video has inspired me. I’m not giving up so easily 3 times the charm ❤ Thanks ❤

[@jellyrcw12]

3:20 it breaks my heart to see you cry. I hope you're doing MUCH better now!

[@jess837]

thank you for this video

[@dittosame-o67]

I hope Computer Science is going well for you. I know how tough that course is, and I wish you the best. Stay strong 🤗

[@hou950]

I totally agree with your normalizing failure sentiment. I have to fail at least 3-5 times before something finally goes my way. At this point I’m so used to it. Important thing to realize is it’s not the end of the world and you will find a way through and then like you said its on to the next like all the heartache and pain of the past failures didn’t even happen

[@carlieamado6153]

Failure hurts, but what hurts more is never having tried.

[@ranyan5835]

I really appreciate you sharing your failure and normalizing it. It meant so much because I think I will be in that place experiencing all of these emotions in about a month because I know for sure that I blew one of my prelim essays (just finished my prelim yesterday). I was so caught up with of one of the questions and ended up short on time to finish it. To make matter worse, it was on a topic that I was suppose to know the best.... I was completely in shock afterwards and am still experiencing the despair/anxiety now(!) Seeing your raw reactions and how you deal with the failure afterwards is encouraging. Thank you!

[@Nameofyoutubeaccount]

Amazing perspective man, good luck

[@12militarystyle]

This is the most relatable content I've seen in a while. The push for academic excellence has been a constant source of anxiety for me and since people rarely talk about failure when its happens (and only talk about it when they've overcome it), it was so much harder to cope because I just wanted to keep mine to myself. Thank you for putting yourself out there, This was really encouraging! Also, congratulations on passing! :)

[@yb8524]

I love your vlogs they are the best I have ever seen, dramatic story lines, and funny without going overboard. Most phd vlogs are boring, but not yours. Wish I discovered your work earlier. I want to watch them all over again!

[@seylah2951]

Girl! I CANNOT tell you how much I needed to hear this! 🙌

[@Bigren.n]

Awwwwww I love this sooooo freaking much!!! I've been trying my hardest to look my failure in the face and be like "IMA BEAT YOU!!!" but it hurts soooooooo freaking bad oh my goodness like man. And I always say "after every storm there's a rainbow you just have to fight to get your rainbow." I've been working my tail off for my rainbow in school. School failure is sooooooooo painful because you wanna do sooooo good bc you know you're awesome man!!! I just simply loved this video!!!!

[@MsMo08]

I ran across your channel and OMG it gave me life Clarity and the pep talk all at the same time!! The last semester of my master program I was dealing with heavy layers of trauma (single MOM, taking care of elderly parents, one with prostate cancer, one child who was suffering trauma, trying to get him graduated and trying to graduate myself, working FULL TIME, and active in my soroity and other community work-just to keep me sane) and literally failed my thesis. Laterally every score I received in this course was an A or B).it My GPA throughout my entire program was between 3.5-3.8. Challenged the grade that pushed MY GPA into the gutter, .6% away from 3.0 to NOT enter academic probation. I WAS HEATED!! I cried, and felt horrible for months. I still remained is survival mode so l long after. Like you, I don't fail in upper academics, and this SHOOK ME TO MY CORE. Thank you so much for your transparency, and that we aren't alone!!#NewSub

[@ryann9644]

i appreciate this so much. i’m in a similar boat with sports. I’ve been playing soccer for years and tried out for an ecnl team, i’d be playing in all south states and it’s amazing for recruitment. i was so confident and set of getting on the team that when i heard i didn’t, i shut down. My mom and i immediately started looking for try outs for other teams but i was so distraught i didn’t want to do anything i was so ready to just give up, i was a failure. We found there were tryouts the night of me finding all this out, and i was forced to go, crying the whole way there because i felt like everyone would know where i came from and how i failed. But being put in that environment, for the sport i love so much, i was able to accept that it’s okay where i stand. My coach ended up emailing me after asking why i didn’t make it and it was because of my asthma. If i can’t stay on a field the whole time, i can’t risk that spot on the team. That’s been the hardest to get over, knowing that something that i can’t control is preventing me from becoming who i want to be. But i’ve realized i can still play at the level under after trying out for other teams and will be getting recruited next year. sometimes failure is the right thing, helps you look at things in new lights, and sometimes opening doors and jumping right in instead of sulking for days and days as you said isn’t the answer. i knew my worth and i understood where i stood, and that is probably the only reason i got over it so fast. thank you so much for this video.

[@Bennyson_T]

Wow I just saw your video in my feed, and I just want to thank you for being brave and sharing your "failure" . It's okay to stumble a few times in life but what matters is how you carry yourself back up and TRY AGAIN!!!! Never give up because you failed a couple of times. It's meant to teach you a valuable lesson in life! So happy for you and your next step towards your Ed.D

[@eosrose6126]

I think you are a wonderful and strong woman. I think the pressure we put on ourselves is sometimes too high. And you re right. Failure does not define you as a person ❤️❤️ Failure is a part of life, but it is not your whole life, nor should this question all the things that you did well.

[@melindafazekas6688]

I have so much respect to you guys who can/ have the mostivation to study so much. I can draw for a day straight (with some pauses) but I can't study more than 1-2 hours because then my soul just leaves my body.:D

[@berniceatwater8106]

Hello! You video popped right up when I first got onto KZbin. I saw the title and just wanted to pray for you. 💜 Before even viewing! I did and so I wanted to watch and see what you were going through. I wanted to listen and understand. And, yes, PRAY. And I am SO VERY GLAD YOU PASSED!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾💜💜💜🥳🎉💖 God is SO GOOD! What He has for you IS FOR YOU! If He called you to it, He will bring you THROUGH IT! 😉 You just got to BELIEVE that 🙂. I am SO VERY PROUD OF YOU! 💜🤎🤗. Please keep going. Keep believing, in God for yourself. YOU GOT THIS! 👏🏾💜👏🏾💜🤗 This is my first time watching one of your videos. And I enjoyed and appreciate the transparency and learning how the program works that you're in. 😊 I'll be "checking in on you" from time to time, to see how WELL you're PROGRESSING in the various things that you share! You take care! And may the Lord bless you and keep you in Jesus Name! 😊🤗💜👏🏾🤎🙌🏾💜🙏🏾🤎🙏🏾

[@yumsibums]

I swear to god this video motivated me so much, I always had a lot of problems accepting my failure but this video opened my eyes thank you so much and congratualtions

[@stacram87]

Girl this vlog is powerful AF. Normalize failure and normalize getting back up and kicking ass. You 100% will be a Doctor.

[@rasway6700]

This video popped up on my feed, and I’m so glad it did!!! I’m an adult student in under grad(junior), and seeing things like this gives me so much hope and motivation. Thank you for your transparency, which is so rare to see. I’m so happy that you processed your emotions fully, reevaluated the situation, and got back in the game, and CRUSHED IT the second time around!!! You are a beautiful spirit inside and out love. I’m honored to hit that subscribe button to continue witnessing your journey. Peace and blessings ❤️💪🏾👌🏾

[@irisikey]

I saw your video when i just wrote mine and i was really scared. I refused. To watch your video from the caption after watching your other videos. Seriously, this scared me so bad but i had to gather myself to watch this video. I still have faith i will pass my candidacy exam but i have cried so bad over this PhD program. I understand you so much. It’s an emotionally demanding journey. Thank you for your video

[@junjiscomb7909]

As a student in the early uni stage ......... I thank god for sending this my way!!! It was truly inspirational. I'm so happy you passed!!

[@TaraCelitta]

I truly thank you for sharing this because God knew I personally needed to hear this. I'm so sorry you went through this but you just don't know how this has motivated me to keep going and understand failure is part of life but what we do after the failure is what defines us!

[@anqiwang2263]

I failed my national exams last year, they take place once a year. The next one is this week (on a few subjects). Kinda stressed but this helped me to look back a bit and be proud of myself. This time I will pass!

[@hilaryone2213]

You will do really well!!!

[@cristytakia]

Thank you for sharing, Aaron! I also attend UGA and I'm in my first year of my PhD Program so I understand the stress of being in a doctoral program and trying to excel at each phase. Keep up the excellent work and congratulations!

[@NoName-ot8kl]

I experienced failure many times and was surrounded by others who just excelled. I’m still here not giving up because if life doesn’t give up on me, then I’ll keep trying. Despite all the times I failed, I’ve accomplished some things but others don’t realize the tenacity and dedication it took for me to obtain the little success I have. Needless to say, it’s been hard but I’ve always given life my very best.

[@thankyoutaylor12]

Girl I can’t even watch good. I felt that crying in the car clip! I’m so tired of studying to fail.

[@thankyoutaylor12]

And now that’s it’s playing my heart hurts for you!! Hang in there regardless where this video ends up!🤍

[@АлисаКузнечкина]

Thank you very much for this video. I'm learning to work with my own grief, and I noticed how much succed we can se in the Internet and how little we see someone fail and of course it's changing our way of seeing things. I imagine it very hard to a person to show their fail and vulnerability about it, so thank you for your bravery. Wish you luck in your future work!

[@tremurder2743]

Ur an amazing young woman with extremely good work ethics!! U will face many challenges in ur life, u will surpass this and WIN!!!!! Keep up the good work, I’m proud of you…..

[@Kelly_Ellie]

A lot of people do not talk about failing at something. Thank you for being so honest and truthful. It is a painful experience, and it leaves one feeling vulnerable. I have failed many times at things but always seemed to pick myself right up. I only have to thank God. You are amazing, and I appreciate you for sharing your story.

[@juliaoverlinmslpccncc1982]

Oh how refreshing you are! Thank you, as a clinician, and one who does my best to normalize humanity (the ever days, 'you're not crazy you're human'), I so appreciated your video for the minutae "why does she keep sending me plants?" and "what's NOT gonna happen, I'm not gonna die!" (lol)" I loved it. The reality of the situation, which we are very quick as humans to forget when we're spiraling down our rabbit holes. I've subscribed to keep up w/ you and your take on how you normalize your own personal human experiences. :)

[@cantiohorse]

This is the first video of yours I have seen. I am blown away. Not just your attitude and outlook, but how you candidly you shared this with us. Sooooo many lessons here. I admire you.

[@liantorres8705]

I truly feel your pain, I recently dropped out of my Master's degree after failing to work out my thesis, same type of 4.0 student. Failure is crushing, I also went through grief over thinking I just wasn't good enough. In my situation it was just a matter of realizing I just didn't want to continue that degree, and that is also ok. As you said, there is always an answer, you just get up and try again, or in my case, try something new ♡

[@WanderingWaystrel]

Oof, when you were describing the mistake you made with the lit review, I seriously cringed because I’ve had that exact moment of “oh DUH I should’ve looked into this.” Exactly like you said, you don’t know what you don’t know, and you can’t be too hard on yourself. You move forward, every time you just gotta keep moving forward, try to learn from the experience, but ultimately just keep moving

[@vanessaknight2862]

I’m so happy for you 🥲, I’m proud that you passed and didn’t let things get the best of you. And I needed this as well because I’m in the vet tech program and a LOT of math is coming my way so I’ll be referring to this video a lot lol

[@angelawanjohi8701]

You have no idea how helpful this is❤thank you for being so raw