I have no friends and social life... and I'm okay with that

[@trydowave]

You got a husband. You're not alone. Lots of people dont even have that.

[@jaybone8119]

Be careful with this too, though, my ex-wife came to resent me because I didn’t have any other friends, and she didn’t want the responsibility of being my only companion and yes, it caused a lot of problems and eventually a divorce

[@HachiS2023]

Haha yes agree, like me, the messages I receives is either spam or appointment reminders

[@DonzoDruggo]

loneliness is not a competition

[@Eduardo_Music8560]

You are right 👍. We only have to choose a good partner o couple.

[@cherylT321]

Exactly!

[@TenaciousP]

I don’t have the mental bandwidth for friends, I don’t want to share my problems or hear theirs either - social events drain me and I am my own best company - I am glad to hear I am not alone.

[@betsylynnvedrine3784]

Yes. I’m over it.

[@falaniaae1835]

At least you have a husband. I've been alone and feeling isolating from friends. I just work go home and watch Netflix to forget I am alone.

[@Missfoxtooyou]

Me too, but I have a dog.

[@KnightxWulfx]

Right, I dont even have a gf

[@naditazinha]

“It's better to walk alone, than to walk with a fool”

[@EvilTheOne]

Being alone sucks! At least it did for me. I started to get involved with volunteer work, and that changed my life. I just tried to keep a smile on my brave face at all time, and tried to keep my loneliness at bay, never trying to let it show. Staying focused on the work and the help it provided. And little by little, the universe opened up opportunities for me. I'm not saying that' a solution for anyone, although it does work out at times. It's like what someone told me when I was really young, and too afraid to ask a girl to dance. If you don't take the chance and ask, the answer is always no. Yes getting turned down does hurt, but it does put things into perspective. Life is about the possibilities of chance.

[@JoelmCarrera]

Get yourself out there go to the gym church events

[@InsignificantSpeckOfDust]

People always ask me..."Do you like people?"....I answer "Sure...I just feel better when they're not around"

[@JoanQuinto]

Haha that’s how I feel most days now. Thank you for watching my video! 😊

[@sxwrtr918]

For me, 'liking people' is on a case-by-case basis. Some are great, others suck. Prefer being on my own most of the time.

[@adams115]

Bukowski

[@nylafienac]

I flat out say “I hate humans” 😭😭😭🤣🤣

[@bml2007]

I see that comment a lot lol

[@kathrynnielson5689]

You're not alone. The older I get, the pickier I am with who I want to be friends with because people are super shallow and self-absorbed. I know alot of people and can work a room as well as anyone, but at the end of the day, I have one good friend if that. And I'm fine with it. It's been part of my minimalism journey to limit interactions with others and not at all with those who are toxic.

[@JoanQuinto]

Absolutely, I feel like I "decluttered" my friend circles as I embraced my minimalism journey as well. Unfortunately most people we come across are shallow and self-absorbed. Thanks so much for watching!

[@AnthonyManzio]

@@JoanQuinto Friends are all users only one sided. All red flag.

[@JoanQuinto]

@AnthonyManzio sadly that’s true. The people i described in my video for the most part were all one-sided.

[@AnthonyManzio]

@@JoanQuinto Including parents, brother and sister in law I'm the scapegoat. At work scapegoat too 80% miserable and jealous of me so want all the negative people at work to hate 15 years gaslighting me to destroy and my reputation. Been 40 years to working saying i stalk women after work, drink, unstable crazy all bs to want everyone to hate me. My manager knows me well enough. The lazy low life bullies using flying moneys to do their dirty work. They will end up exposing themselves. Action speaks louder than words. I try not to b provoked, I try to ignore and just continue with my work and they hate it. I work and don't bum around. The positive people can see who I really am and some speak out for me to these nasty bullies. Managers are afraid of the bullies how sad.

[@JoanQuinto]

@AnthonyManzio that sounds like an unpleasant place to work. But you can’t help people. As long as you’re unphased by it, all power to you! I had a similar situation like that in a workplace and I dealt with it by thinking, once I’m clocked out, out of sight, out of mind. 😂 People can suck, but I hope you find your peace and your kind of people. ❤️

[@Mr.Robbie34]

A supporting spouse and partner will always be your best friend.

[@blurgirl79]

you are right. as i age, i no longer feel that my "friends" are friends anymore. we sort of drifted apart naturally. I've also come to understand that everything in life is impermanent. the best friend for me is myself for sure. :) stay happy!

[@JoanQuinto]

Thanks for sharing your experience! I’ve grown to embrace this stage of my life without friends, and I enjoy my own company. But I do have hope that one day I’ll find my community. Thanks for watching!

[@dazzleree]

I admire your honesty and self-awareness. Sometimes solitude is the best way to truly grow and understand yourself. Thanks for sharing your journey!

[@JoanQuinto]

Thank you for your kind message!

[@marshej2094]

Being alone and feeling alone are two diffrent things some people dont understand that xoxo

[@JoanQuinto]

I totally agree!

[@toula888]

I totally relate to you. I've had friends who sucked the life out of me and friends that wanted to be with me while it suited them. And I also had 2 close friends that passed away and I miss them. But I'm content. I have a husband and grown children, my work colleagues and church friends. I'm an introvert so having just a few friends and a quiet life suits me and I'm happy with that.

[@JoanQuinto]

Sorry to hear about your friends passing, but I’m glad to hear you’ve found peace in your current situation. I’m learning to embrace this stage in my life. Thank you so much for watching!

[@Meebzorp5200]

I think most friends in life are really just acquaintances. It's a good skill to learn how to identify this to sort of set expectations with yourself about that person. It helps avoid disappointment and hurt feelings. Many acquaintances aren't worth the trouble as you explained. They may also view friendships as transactional - what can I get out of this person? It's best to cut them off. Also, it's a good skill to learn when you are a "B" or "C" tier friend - the friend that will only hang out with you if the other two tiers of friends are unavailable. This one is a tough lesson to learn but people will definitely make a pecking order with their friends. Probably best to cut them off as well.

[@JoanQuinto]

Thank you for sharing your experience on this. It’s a harsh truth, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that most people are just acquaintances. Even people who i thought were real friends are now just acquaintances to me.

[@karandave655]

I understand how its like, I am currently in this same stage, focused totally inward and calm.

[@JoanQuinto]

Yes, sometimes you have to let go of people in order to grow. Otherwise “friends” that hold you back. Thanks for sharing your story and for watching!

[@pablosilva6988]

Your story cememts my belief that people only approach you if they want something. They won't approach you with the intention of making your day better but simply getting something of value. If you don't have anything they want or need, if hasta luego time.

[@JoanQuinto]

It’s unfortunate that that seems to be the case these days. But i still have hope there are genuine people out there.

[@tritosac]

Just found your channel. Interesting talk. I am a man in my late 40's. I had those friends you talk about in my 20's. The people I drank with at bars & clubs. As my 20's progressed we lost touch. Everyone got married or had kids. I never did get married or have kids. Eventually I became a hermit. I haven't had any friends in probably 20 years honestly. I moved across state after my Dad passed away. My parents were my only real family. They are both gone. I don't like my half siblings. They are fake. I can't have serious conversations with any of them. It's hard not having people who get you. Genuine people you can talk to about life & shared interests. It is a challenge to find your tribe so to speak when you are older especially if you are in a new town where you don't know anybody.

[@JoanQuinto]

Thank you for sharing your story. Don't lose hope! I'm sure that the more you are yourself, focus on you and what you want, you will eventually find your people, your community, that just somehow fit in to your life perfectly. I am embracing this stage in my life, but I'm sure at some point, I'll want to put myself out there again to make friends. Thank you so much for watching my video. :)

[@krystle8534]

True, it's harder to find friends as one gets older, but for me it has become a lot easier to be alone as I got older, so it evens out:). Best of luck to you from a fellow hermit😊

[@jessicaballantyne5825]

I wasn't ever popular, but had a few friends, remembered being a student surrounded by peers and teammates. Really fun times that I took for granted. I never realized what adult was going to feel like.

[@JoanQuinto]

Things definitely change and come to light when you’re in your 30s especially. Thanks for watching.

[@Lanae8199]

Yes, there are a lot of us who do not have friends or an active social life. But at least you have a spouse. There are a lot of us out here who will most likely be alone for the rest of our lives. I still have hope and continue to work on myself as best I can. Life is only but so long.

[@JoanQuinto]

Thank you for your message. Yes, I am fortunate to have my husband, but I sometimes miss having friendships and community. But don't lose hope in yourself! Perhaps a lot of people set limiting beliefs that they will be alone forever, but that belief can be undone/unlearned. I am embracing this stage in my life, but I know at some point, I'll be ready to put myself out there to make friends again. I hope you will someday find your people, your community. Thank you so much for watching my video. :)

[@Lanae8199]

@@JoanQuinto You’re welcome. God Bless!!

[@k-ondoomer]

Stop crying and do something about it, people aren't just gonna gravitate to you if they haven't already

[@Lanae8199]

@@k-ondoomer A lot of us are. I think it is rather insensitive of you to assume that someone is doing nothing to change their situation when they are.

[@Blackhonda]

You've articulated this so well. Love the energy vampire description. Your title can easily apply to me. My best friend is my wife and my second best friend is my dog. And I love friends but they have their priorities and life goes on. I've thumbed up, commented, and I'm subscribing.

[@JoanQuinto]

I'm glad this video connected with you. I would like to have a dog someday as one of my best friends as well. 😆 But for now, I am embracing this stage in my life and enjoying my own company besides my husband. Thanks for watching and being part of my little corner on youtube!

[@LadyBeeSting2434]

I totally understand. I did that very thing this year and still working on it. I pulled back this year. I still invest in new friendships then pull back gently if it gets a no. Haha, I feel the same want to talk decluttering, coffee, budgeting, frugal, gardening.. lol. But I told my close friend, I know I’ve changed.. people grow, that’s a beautiful thing. We are supposed to grow!

[@JoanQuinto]

Absolutely agreed, we are supposed to grow and evolve, I believe that is our purpose in life. Unfortunately most people don’t, and they judge those that do. Thank you for watching!

[@tracynorman4883]

Talk to me!! I like all those things too! And minimalism!! 😅😅

[@samtoo8685]

Me too I’m usually at work or home. No one calls or texts me life is great. Also no social life. Let’s gooooo

[@Peter-kt2gb]

When I was younger, I thought that only the deep connection friends were the ones that mattered. I thought that if I couldn't see them as a lifelong friend, what was the point? But my perspective has shifted as I've gotten older (although I'm only 31, so maybe i don't know much). I realized that outside of a couple of lifelong friends and your family, none of it will last. But you can enjoy it for what it is while it's in your life. I'm with you on the fake people, and the people who are energy sucks. I like real and genuine people. But not everyone has to be the close friend that you have deep conversations with. Maybe they're just someone you share a common interest with, or you like to go out and do activities with. Or just laugh and joke with. Yes the deep friendships are the best, but the other can be meaningful too. As long as the person is genuine, the connection can be meaningful. I enjoy the people in my life while they are in my life. I'm lucky enough to have a few lifelong and deep friendships that have lasted. But I still cherish the other friendships I have as well.

[@JoanQuinto]

Thank you for sharing your experience. You’re very lucky to have lifelong deep friendships. Maybe it’s just where I had lived (LA) where people just come and go, it’s fun while it lasts, but now it’s like I don’t exist to these people anymore. But yes, the older we get the more picky we are with whom we invest our time and energy to. Thank you for watching! 😊

[@dancingkay2604]

Wow, only 31 but very wise!

[@paulsargeant3764]

Hey, yall. Yeah, I'm the same. I used to have lots of friends, but they all disappeared. I'm perfectly fine with that & have embraced minimalism. Currently, I'm working my way through a wealth building course. Stay cool 😎

[@JoanQuinto]

It’s like we decluttered our friends when we embrace minimalism. 😂 But sometimes you have to, especially when you have goals like building wealth! Thanks for sharing your story and for watching. ❤️

[@Doingmybest700]

Hi Joan, thank you for sharing this. I can relate so much and have been feeling a bit like an oddball for not having a social life and valuing peace more. I slowly drifted away from all of the “friends” that you mentioned. I found those particular friendships superficial and always came with a lot of drama, which drained me severely. It’s really nice to see there’s other people who feel the same way. I am looking forward to seeing more of your videos.

[@JoanQuinto]

Thanks for sharing your experience and for watching my video. Because I used to be such a social person, as I got older, it’s disappointing to realize a lot of friendships I had were shallow and not long lasting.

[@Doingmybest700]

@@JoanQuinto I used to be a very social person as well. That’s exactly what I realized too! I also deleted my ig and facebook and definitely found out who my real friends were lol. I wanted to tone down on the partying and leaned towards being more frugal and minimal and found it harder to connect with the same people.

[@itry09]

I experienced the same thing as you with friends but now I'm alone but I'm happy.. but like you I continue to believe that the true friendship still exists😊

[@JoanQuinto]

Let's not lose hope! I believe that the more we are ourselves, focus on ourselves and what we want, the right people will cross our paths and will just fit in naturally to our lives. Thank you so much for watching!

[@chickolat]

I am in the same place... at least you have your husband. Being single and not having any friends that I can have meaningful relationship is difficult. I want the same thing, I am not good with superficial connection. They drain me. I noticed most people are incapable of being alone so they have "friends" for the sake of having someone there. That doesn't appeal to me at all. I enjoy my own company and I value friends where we can talk about a lot of things and have experiences that are more than just drinking and eating. I hope you find your community. I am in the search as well but I am also not in a rush.

[@essentialsimplicity]

Right there with you. You said it all better than I could have.

[@JoanQuinto]

I totally understand! I definitely went through a phase in my 20s where I had friends just to have someone there. But now, I also enjoy my own company, reading books, creating recipes, being creative without the distractions of "friends." I'm sure I'll find my community someday. And I am sure you will find yours as well! Just keep being you! :) Thanks for watching!

[@marvelv212]

People want to have fun and party. Most of them are pointless and can be replaced anywhere.

[@JoanQuinto]

Agreed!

[@antoniox2040]

If you’re married or have a SO, then other friends are secondary. My wife is my best friend and I really don’t feel I *need* friends. Don’t get me wrong, I am trying to make friends, especially more guy friends who are professionals, but I haven’t had them in over 20 years and am the happiest I’ve ever been. I have a great career, a loving wife, and financial success. Living my best life

[@JoanQuinto]

Thank you for sharing your perspective! I get you, my husband is sooo much better about not having friends. Me, not as much lol. I am embracing this stage in my life, but I know eventually I'll put myself out there again to make friends and build community.

[@betsylynnvedrine3784]

Love it❤. I wish for my future husband to say the same about me.

[@betsylynnvedrine3784]

Love it❤. I wish for my future husband to say the same about me.

[@lc8119]

Covid changed me a lot. I completely got off social media and pared down my friendships.

[@JoanQuinto]

Absolutely, but change is good and that was a good time to realize who and what really matters to us. I haven’t gotten completely off social media but I did unfollow a ton of people. Thanks for watching and sharing your story!

[@Haiokbai]

Yesssssss!!!! Friends and an extravagant social life are money suckers UNLESS you’re with like minded people. I don’t get invited to weddings birthdays or parties and I LOVE it! Once in a while I catch up with old friends over coffee and that’s all we need to keep our connection alive! Doesn’t take much :)

[@JoanQuinto]

Glad you’re able to relate. And yes, friends can be money suckers for sure! Focusing on myself and I’m sure I’ll attract likeminded people.

[@MyNomadPlanner]

Hey, you are not the only one. I feel we have a very similar life story. And I choose to see it as meant to be. Who loves me will find a way to reach out and stay in contact. With time, those who reach out are less and less, and I see it as a blessing and a natural detox. I am in a happy marriage of over 18 years. We have grown kids and freedom. To me, that is the greatest treasure. Everyone and everything else can be in my circle only if it adds to it, not if I feel it will take from it.

[@JoanQuinto]

Thank you for sharing your story and for watching my video. I agree, it does feel like a blessing in disguise to have distanced myself from the life and people I've known. My husband and I live a peaceful life right now, focusing on our dreams and goals, without the distractions of friends. And I still believe that the right people will somehow just fit in, at some point, when I'm finally open to it again. Wish you and your loved ones all the best!

[@FaintAura]

I only have a few friends but they're all friends that I've had for decades. I've known them since childhood/adolescence and we still keep it touch. My experience making friends as an adult, which seems to be a common experience unfortunately, is that it's kind of unfulfilling and nobody really has time or energy to cultivate the deep friendships that I would like to invest in. So I just keep the friends I've had for years and spend most of my time alone working on hobbies/side hustles.

[@JoanQuinto]

That’s amazing that you have friends for so long. I agree that it’s harder to make friends as an adult, and I think it’s because we have grown and changed our priorities that it’s hard to find/connect with people that fit in with our present lives. The trouble I have is that people from my past just don’t get me for how I am now. But I am enjoying this stage in my life without friends, just doing my thing. Thank you so much for watching! ❤️

[@tracynorman4883]

I have two of the friends you describe how we can just pick back up, havent seen either of them this year but its not a problem. I am social at work, but prefer my own company outside of work. Since distancing myself from others, I realise it has made me stronger as I make my own decisions without any influence, and happier as I have no drama. Loving my life!! Good video, I think more people are choosing solitude over fake friends 😊

[@JoanQuinto]

Thanks for sharing your story and watching my video! I totally agree, how we can feel stronger making our own decisions without fake friends holding us back. I actually enjoy being alone without friends and I also learned not feel lonely.

[@joannapatterson4625]

Same. My life is much more peaceful in my own company.

[@MEJIHU4839]

Thank you for this video. I’ve always found it hard to make friends and now that I’m 37 , married and no kids ( by choice) it seems even harder to make friends. I have two friends I get together with once a month and my mom who i consider my best friend. It’s often the case that im spending time alone and I’m okay with that.

[@altron1009]

I can relate to what you are saying, I had it all a high-paying job, free lunch at work, free gym, and so-called friends, I tell ya what soon as you leave a company you're replaced within a day! and you're forgotten within a day! you will never be replaced at home! after years of stress and getting burnt out I've done the same, I sold up and moved to a totally different town, escaped the rat race. It was hard at first but it allowed knowing myself better, my life slowed down so much that once in my life I could stand still, be in the present moment and think. The best thing I ever did was to get rid of social media from my life, it changed my life for the better, and I will never go back to my old lifestyle. Thank you for sharing your story Joan, take care.

[@JoanQuinto]

Thank you so much for sharing your story as well. I commend you for getting rid of social media, I’m still on it but not as active on there. Life is more peaceful without fake people’s drama. I too, am enjoying getting to know myself. Thanks for watching!

[@lanehartwell]

Thank you for this video. It made me feel less alone in my current situation. My husband and I left the Bay Area and moved around a bit and then Covid happened and we left the country for awhile. After a brief stint in Seattle, a “friend” encouraged us to come check out where he lived across the country to look for a house to buy. For a few months while we looked, we lived in a hotel and I started becoming aware that he had no real interest in spending time with us. I brought it up once and he said he thought that would improve once we got settled, but it didn’t. I called him out gently on it and he ghosted me. So we own a house in a town where we know no one and have no friends or family. It’s just me and my husband and our dogs. Recently I reconnected with this friend and we text each other to talk about politics and similar topics, but we never have talked about why he has no desire to have an actual in person friendship. This morning I was on social media and saw that he had been out with his wife and kids and a “friend” at an event and I felt that awful twinge of pain that we’ve been here almost three years and he will never invite us to do anything. To be clear, I have accepted that reality since we reconnected and have given myself rules about our level of engagement…I will never ask him for anything again, and our 20+ year long friendship is limited to texts about current events and nothing more. I know that having no expectations is the protection I need for my own mental health, but it’s not always foolproof, like the feeling of rejection and bafflement I felt today wondering why he bothered to ask us here if he wanted nothing to do with us. Everything you said is completely valid. I admire your honesty and self awareness. I too am looking for people who want to talk about interesting topics. And we’re selling our house and moving back west in the spring and AZ is on our list of places we’re considering. Wanna be friends? 😊

[@JoanQuinto]

Wow, thank you for sharing your story! What an odd thing for someone to invite you to move across the country where they live and not even want to connect in person. How frustrating! I'm sorry you had to go through that, people can be so weird and inconsiderate these days. But I wish you all the best in finding your next home! If you do end up in AZ, keep in touch! Shoot me an email or on IG and we'll go from there. Thanks so much for watching my video! ❤️

[@colinreidcr]

they say to go put yourself out there and even when I do Im still alone

[@JoanQuinto]

Don’t give up. Perhaps you’re putting yourself out at places that don’t serve your personal needs of connection. I was in the LA music scene for almost 10 years, 95% of musicians are only interested in friendships if their career can benefit from you. That’s why I stepped away. Best wishes on your journey to find your people, your community! ❤️

[@colinreidcr]

@@JoanQuinto yeah that's what I'm thinking as well and thank you

[@sxwrtr918]

​​@@JoanQuinto Similar 'what can you do for me?' user types in L.A. film industry, in which I worked for several years. Their sidling up was so predictable, fake and irritating. I don't miss it now that I've relocated out of CA.

[@JoanQuinto]

@sxwrtr918 i don’t miss CA either, i dread having to travel back there for work/business, or visiting family, simply because CA is just gross now. :/

[@AnimalJusticeEmergency]

​@@JoanQuintoI'd love to see a video about why you find CA gross now. It has such a glamorous image for many.

[@Mahomesfan615]

The KZbin algorithm has never gotten me more than when they pushed me a video with this title ❤️

[@JoanQuinto]

Thank you for being here and watching my video. I hope I was able to relate. Best wishes to you! ❤️

[@DontBeATree]

Heck yeah Joan! I just moved and lost my friends in that I can’t see them so I’m in a similar boat. Embrace who you are and the right people will come into your life. Fakeness will bring fake friends

[@JoanQuinto]

Moving is somewhat a curse or a blessing in disguise when it comes to friends. Lol. Absolutely, I've learned to embrace this stage in my life and I know someday I'll find my community. Thank you for your kind message and for watching my video! :)

[@Maki_sSnackies]

Same stage here! And it’s definitely ok! Connect with people who inspire you, have the same mindset and you won’t miss those “friends”

[@JoanQuinto]

So true! Thanks for watching!

[@Nilcmazi]

I grew up as a half filipino in a different country and a different city from where my father’s family lived, so we basically had no family. We had lots of friends growing up but as I became older I also realized they changed. Then I got to know a lot of people but the connection never happened, everything remained on the superficial level. So I just stopped reaching out to them and wow! I was the only one reaching out the whole time. I think I am lucky to have my husband as my best friend.

[@JoanQuinto]

Thank you for sharing your story. I definitely felt like I was always the one reaching out, trying to build a deeper connection. But it was never reciprocated. I’m also lucky to have my husband, but I do miss sometimes having female besties, having that female connection.

[@gugu532]

Its ok, main thing is taking care of yourself. Family especially a loving family is worth it all.

[@David-bz1ou]

Constantly overworked. There must be a balance and boundaries with work and social life, i totally get you.

[@David-bz1ou]

Oh but it's your fault because you had a choice XD

[@dailyrepsofficial]

Solitude can be a source of strength. As Aristotle said, 'The more you know, the more you realise you don’t know.' Embrace your own company as an opportunity for self-discovery and growth. Sometimes, being content alone is a powerful path to personal freedom

[@JoanQuinto]

That's a great quote! I am totally embracing this stage in my life and have enjoyed my own company, along with reading books, creating, cooking, learning new skills without the distraction of fiends. Thanks so much for watching!

[@dailyrepsofficial]

@@JoanQuinto keep sharing🙏

[@dancingkay2604]

Good advice 👍🏼

[@gabrieltupas7667]

Thanks for this video going through this at the point of my life where I'm seeing are really my friends and people who are not. Im so glad you can share your story!

[@JoanQuinto]

Thank you so much for watching my video! I'm glad I was able to relate.

[@proggerjohn]

This was good. I think many of my friends are parts of several categories rather than just strictly one specific category type. It does make you reflect on your friendships as well as what kind of friend you are to them.

[@JoanQuinto]

Thanks for sharing your perspective. The older you get, the more you think about these things, it seems.

[@goodsmoodsfoods]

Hi Joan. Yes i totally concur. I’m a musician too. Maybe there’s a common personality type there. People aren’t that great. You’re fortunate to have a husband-partner. I live with a Vietnamese woman 15 yrs. We don’t really do anything together anymore, tho’ we do cohabitate sufficiently. I foresee an end to that at some point. I’m fine being alone & doing things alone. I’ve recently replaced music making with KZbin video making. It’s fun. I like it. It fills my days. People are all following their own directives, myself included. You’re not alone in your perspective. I thought I’d comment that. Anyway, All the best to you. PS: I’m in San Diego long time.

[@JoanQuinto]

Thank you for sharing your story! That's so interesting what you're going through. I was in the LA music scene for almost 10 years, I realized that 95% of musicians are only interested in friendships if their career can benefit from you. That’s why I stepped away. Like you, I'm also enjoying making youtube videos. :) Thanks for watching and all the best to you!

[@Rocioslane]

I relate to this on such a deep level

[@JoanQuinto]

I'm so glad I was able to relate to you. Thanks so much for watching my video!

[@NChe-nl5ok]

Thank you for this insightful discourse. Wish us all the positive energy we wish for ourselves.

[@JoanQuinto]

Thank you for your kind message and for watching my video. :)

[@DitaNoire]

Yeah,the right people appear when we ficus more on ourselves. Well said.Thank you.

[@JoanQuinto]

Absolutely. Thanks for watching!

[@DWtechfan]

I can relate. My circle is limited to my wife and my brother and I occasionally see other family members but that's rare. I'd ideally want friends but the problem is true friendship is very difficult to find. The world isn't the same and most people are not only cold but uncaring and fake. I'm very much a realist and there's not many people who appreciate hearing the truth these days. I also have crippling anxiety on top of mistrust for people in general just because of my experience in dealing with folks. You get users or people who were friends for the moment but the moment always seems to pass and then you outgrow the ones you had. It's a vicious cycle and it's very frustrating to realize that most people suck, I hate even saying that but it's true.

[@JoanQuinto]

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm seeing a lot of married couples in my comments going through the same thing, desiring friendships but finding it very difficult. I agree, the world isn't the same place, and it's discouraging to see how people have become less friendly. Someday, I'd like to put myself out there again and make friends, but for now, I am embracing this stage in my life, focusing on my goals and dreams. But I wish you the best and I hope that you will still one day find your people, your community. Thanks for watching my video. :)

[@tracethomas5137]

Great video. I’m in my 40s and my friendship circle has gotten smaller to 4 people. It is these 4 people that I truly have a deep connection with. I have even walked away from family members that have drained my energy. You want to hangout with people that make you feel energized and uplifted after hanging out with them. Have a wonderful day. 🙂

[@JoanQuinto]

Thank you for sharing your experience. I have walked away from family members too. I am embracing this stage of my life right now without friendships (other than my hubs) but I am definitely open to finding those people that energize and uplift me

[@EvilTheOne]

When I first left home, on my own back when I was 20 years of age, it was daunting. Although as you stated, I got the chance to 'reinvent' myself. Not be someone's son, brother, etc...that I was always known to be. I could finally be 'me', and find the time to figure out who that really was. I got to project myself as the person I wanted reflected out there, complete with no excuses. It actually was a fun journey! I am so tremendously glad that I went through that phase of my life. Funny thing as I listened to your journey, I went through that growth phase in San Bernardino, California.

[@JoanQuinto]

What an amazing journey, thanks for sharing! I’m familiar with San Berdoo, what an interesting place to find yourself! But it doesn’t have a lot of the distractions and chaos as would LA, so I can totally see it as a great place to evolve as a person. Thanks for watching my video!

[@EvilTheOne]

@@JoanQuinto I too come from an Asian background, and from an island in the Pacific. So getting to know people of different backgrounds and ethnicities was fun and eye-opening. Culture is better when we get to share it. Self-expansion is great when we understand that we have one life to live, and we need to make the best of it. Even if it is taking the time to kick back and marvel at the setting of the sun. By the way, I liked how honest your video was...it was raw and deep.

[@Logan_K]

I relate to this a lot. I like people, I am good at talking to people, but most of the time, I would rather just keep things simple and small. Having a small social circle is good

[@JoanQuinto]

I am definitely striving for a simpler life. Someday I’d like to find my small community. Thanks for watching!

[@a012345]

It's just most people are bad friends. They don't want to put in any work to maintain the friendship and are okay with surface level appearances. Some people thinks others are here to serve them.

[@JoanQuinto]

I totally agree, that's exactly what I went through most of my friendships and that's why I had to let them go. Especially when you live in a city like LA, there is just so much superficiality and it's really hard to find deep connections. Thank you so much for your message and for watching my video.

[@TonyTheAntonio]

Love the video. I can relate to the part about moving out of state and some "friends" not even realizing I left a while ago.

[@JoanQuinto]

Exactly, sadly you find out who your friends really are when you move. But you could also see it as a natural decluttering process that could be a blessing in disguise. Thanks for watching!

[@eviec3180]

Thank you! It's so rare to find someone who reminds me of me. 😊

[@Marques_Brownlee23]

I have my wife and 6 kids. I don't have time for friends and I'm happy with that.

[@eugenefirebird8938]

All you really need is a good spouse. The rest are not required. In my opinion, a person only has the energy to maintain one or two friends.

[@JoanQuinto]

I do have a good spouse, but sometimes I still crave a female friend to female bond with.😂

[@NinaJoanna]

Quite relatable! I haven't had many friends in the past few years since I've been moving around and living in places where I knew I wouldn't stay for long (so it felt pointless to try to make new friends) and also I've been so busy with work, there just hasn't been enough time to get out of the house. But I think as people get older, they tend to start appreciating friends more. 20 or 30 year olds maybe don't, but eventually people will see the true value of friendships and I'm hoping it'll be a little easier to make new friends then :)

[@JoanQuinto]

Thank you for sharing your story and for watching my video. :) That's hexactly how I've been feeling with moving so much, and being so busy with work and projects. I am hopeful that the friendships we desire to have will eventually fall into place as we focus on ourselves and what we want, but by also being open to making new friends. Right now, I am embracing this stage of my life. :)

[@NinaJoanna]

@@JoanQuinto I'm sure they will! And there's nothing wrong with solitude, especially when one is busy with something important!

[@BrokeAgain]

Nice video, there are stigma for this type of lifestyle. Thanks for sharing!

[@JoanQuinto]

Yes, surprisingly people wonder if I have friends these days. And I’m okay with not having them at this stage of my life. Thank you so much for watching!

[@joannapatterson4625]

The older I get, the fewer people I want to be around. I prefer my own company. More peaceful, less drama. I have 2 good friends. That’s enough.

[@JoanQuinto]

I totally get that. Even when I did have a social life, the older I got, the earlier I wanted to go home. 😂 Thanks for watching!

[@joannapatterson4625]

@@JoanQuintoyou’re welcome. Take care😊

[@catrandomness7394]

I feel the same as you. They don't care. But, what I learned is that in your 40s. Your friend group changes. People come and go. They are in your life for certain seasons. Its okay to let go of a toxic friend. Just don't be afraid because a good friend will come along.

[@JoanQuinto]

Thanks for sharing your experience. I have been noticing that for sure as I approach my 40s. But for sure, if a good friend comes along, I am open to it. Thank you for watching!

[@johnl9135]

I had lost all my friends when I got married, I still fine till this day over decades now. No biggy for me, now that I'm older. Majority of the time I just want to stay home anyways.

[@JoanQuinto]

Same, these days I always look forward to being at home. Thanks for watching!

[@SpottedTiger89]

Wow, this could be me making this video. I left Los Angeles in 2021, moved to NC, and have struggled with making connections. And the few connections I had in Los Angeles disappeared. I do struggle with putting myself out there and I resent myself for it. But I also think we are all in this weird social dilemma where it is hard for all of us to connect. The lockdown really damaged our abilities to socialize.

[@JoanQuinto]

Thank you so much for sharing your story. LA is a tough place to build deep relationships, and it’s not a surprise you’ve experienced the same thing. But I don’t blame you for struggling to put yourself out there, not only is it hard, but we also encounter people that just don’t have social skills anymore. But don’t give up hope! Perhaps you’re just putting yourself out in places/social circles that don’t serve your need for personal connection. Just keep being you, focus on what you want, and I believe the right people will cross your path. Thanks for watching my video! 😊

[@SpottedTiger89]

@@JoanQuinto Thank you for sharing your experience! I don't feel so alone... it's crazy how many of us are going through something similar...

[@kmars3239]

You know it’s funny Joan, we moved to Az from Michigan. The majority of my time in Michigan I surrounded myself with certain friends that really were full of drama. At the time of course I didn’t realize how much it was effecting me. Once we moved to Az I purposely told myself to keep my distance with people. It really has opened my eyes, to tons of self discovery. I truly believe Az is a place to come and heal. The long hot summers force you to hibernate so that too definitely helps 😂but in all seriousness you definitely grow and bloom here under the Az sunshine ☀️

[@JoanQuinto]

Wow, thanks for sharing your story! I can totally agree with you, although I was sad to move away, somehow it felt so right to move here. And I definitely feel that I am growing and healing in AZ. There is so much inspiration out here in the desert!

[@naditazinha]

It's better to walk alone, than to walk with a fool - that's my mantra

[@sara-ry5tz]

Loved...i like it what u said... 2020 changed everything...i suffered a lot because of so called friends...They treat me badly ...they left me alone i lost job and we all family got covid and suffered in hospital and alone in home. No one was there to provide us groceries even with our money. Tried to get some oline deliveries and late. And felt v bad and then decided to quit these people. Some of them always with me when they need my help and money or my shoulder. Some of them come back in end of 2023...and i was normal with them...but same behaviour they showed. I like your honesty. Still i believes friends..and friendship. A new thing i noticed...someone only calliing for prayers...they believes...if i prayed ...it will accepted soon and im happily praying for them. But now i realise...they are not sincere in the matter of anything. Tc and thank you

[@JoanQuinto]

Thank you for sharing your story. It’s tough seeing friendships dissipate and seeing them for who they really are. I still believe there are people out there for us to build friendships and community. Maybe 2020 was just a natural declutter of friends for everyone. Thanks for watching!

[@baltao08]

"If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company." - Jean-Paul Sartre

[@JoanQuinto]

That is a great quote! When I'm not with my husband, I do enjoy my own company. :) Thanks for sharing!

[@thehopefulbudgeter]

As an introvert I get easily drained emotionally but I’ve learned since being married with kids-I really can live without “friends” but not adult interaction if that makes sense. For the most part it’s online acquaintances.

[@JoanQuinto]

That makes total sense. Adult interaction is definitely draining with all the drama and baggage it can come with 😂

[@CJBeez1]

At least you're married

[@JoanQuinto]

Yes, I’m very fortunate to share my life with my husband. But it would be nice to have female besties someday, i think i sometimes crave that kind of human connection.

[@arunbenny808]

These days with everything being so expensive, this actually isn’t the worst thing that could happen. Focus on eating healthy, exercising, saving money, investing that money wisely to work for you so you can work less in the long run. Moving away from a high cost of living area like California was also probably a good decision 👍you’ll learn how to make new friends (go to the park, have board game nights, learn how to cook with friends, etc) and you’ll learn to value being a better neighbor and person in general. Just focus on living the better life you want for yourself. Little by little things will improve.

[@JoanQuinto]

Thank you for your kind message and for watching my video!

[@MsSarahJam]

Thank you Joan 😊

[@jasondunn8313]

We may have a large circle of friends but few are true friends. I consider these to be the ones that love and accept you for you. You may only see them a couple of times a year but check in along the way and when you do catchup and see them it feels like it was just yesterday that you spent time together. Friendships take effort from both people and as I get older if that effort is not reciprocated it doesn’t last.

[@JoanQuinto]

I totally agree. I definitely put a lot of effort into my past friendships and it was sad to see those efforts were hardly reciprocated. I still have hope I'll find true friends and build a community someday. Thank you for watching!

[@lisaa6099]

Glad I’m not the only one

[@JoanQuinto]

Thanks for watching, glad I can relate!

[@BackyardEngineer334]

Anyone that thinks they have friends is naive & delusional. There are no such thing as friends, only acquaintances. The only person you can count on in this world is yourself.

[@JoanQuinto]

Unfortunately that is the harsh truth. I realized that as I got older. Thanks so much for watching!

[@Celwood]

So, you don't even think you could be a good friend to someone yourself...?

[@melissab467]

Always bet on yourself.

[@ras_mal]

@@Celwoodadults got so many things going on in life, it’s hard to actually be a good friend. I put all my energy into running/starting businesses, my wife, chores and hobbies. While i need to do better for my friends , just shooting the shit on the phone goes on the back burner

[@alexandreekarsai6337]

Your statement is pretty true bloodily..

[@LA-wv7gf]

I can relate a bit. I have associates. However, no female friends in my area. At church, there are ladies Im friendly with and vice versa. However, they have husbands and kids under the roof still. I am a divorced empty nester. Honestly, the socializing that I get at church, gym, volunteering is enough as I have parents and a brother that I hang out with, chat with my two best friends who live in other states and we aim to see one another once a year. There is also daily chats with my adult daughter (some is military and very busy) and an immediate family text chat with my uncles and their spouses, dad, brother and a few cousins. One female cousin we message occasionally and another friend that we keep up with one another and try to see her when i am in that state. Beyond my immediate circle, I really as an introvert don't have the bandwidth for more deeper friendships. My inner world is pretty animated enough and the close few friends and family plus socializing when I am out fills my cup so to speak

[@annbow4064]

I have no husband my family live 500 miles away ,ive no social life no freinds no one to go on holiday with,i go to work come home and sit alone until i go to work again,i can retire next year but all i have is work to get me out so going to continue working.

[@teaadvice4996]

Congrats on retiring. Go to Thailand or the Philippines

[@JBTeefam]

Good on you and your husband. Courageous. I find that the less you care about what other people think the less stressed you'll be. I actually save a lot of money as well as I don't try to "keep up" a certain image.

[@JoanQuinto]

Yassss to the saving money part! Majority of friendships I’ve had in the past were always about spending money to spend time together. My husband has always been better than me about not having friends, but I’m being completely honest that I do miss having female connections to just girl talk with sometimes. But I also agree, now that we separated ourselves from our former lives, we don’t care what anybody thinks of us anymore. 😄 Thank you so much for watching my video!

[@jaseman]

Most friendships are very casual. What I mean is - people that might contact you once in a year or even longer. I have very little value for such people. If someone is a real friend, they are going to be contacting you at least monthly and ideally more often.

[@JoanQuinto]

I am starting to realize that, the older I get (almost 40.) My husband is much better about not having friends, where as I, still miss having human connection, especially female friendships. But like you said, I also am experience the once a year contact and sometimes I wonder, what's the point. Thanks for sharing your story and for watching my video. :)

[@thethirdeye8893]

I had friends when I was young, now I have no friends but I am totally fine with that, I am 50 btw))

[@JoanQuinto]

Nothing wrong with that!

[@angrygary91298]

I don't watch most of the time a video story from beginning to end but your story telling was cursive and wasy to follow.I feel you I am 26 and I had all this type of friends.I am happy now that I have only one friend but I try to dodge really anybody else really.

[@JoanQuinto]

Aww I’m glad you appreciate my story telling and that i was able to relate to you. Thank you so much for watching!

[@ThePurposeDrivenRam]

Great message! Being Fil-Am myself, we had a big family and Iwas always surrounded by friends growing up. As I grew older and had my own family I realized I really only have those few true friends. I love being alone or just with my family too which is weird cuz back in the day I felt like I had to always be around everyone lol. Keep up the great content Joan! - Ram 🐏

[@JoanQuinto]

Thank you so much! Glad I was able to relate.

[@sxwrtr918]

Left L.A. for Oregon seven years ago after 30 years there (from NYC originally). Told a couple close friends (with whom I remain in contact) that I was leaving, others I didn't even bother notifying. The latter never noticed I'd gone, never enquired and just fell away...superficial, peripheral, opportunistic or 'energy vampires' as you said. As a minimalist friend says, "Keep the best, ditch the rest."

[@JoanQuinto]

@@sxwrtr918 ooh that’s a great quote, thanks for sharing! I’m seeing quite a bit of people in the comments about leaving LA as well. I think we can all say that LA peeps are superficial, it’s a hard place to make deep connections. Best wishes to you in Oregon, smart move of you to leave LA!

[@REDARROWHAILSTORM9000-of6ei]

i respect your honesty and i have no idea why people are commenting bad things. It took a long time to realise i wasted so much time on the wrong people or so called friends like it was just annoying from time to time also draining and i was much happier enjoying my own company

[@JoanQuinto]

It’s okay, we all have different experiences when it comes to friendships and relationships, and it’s actually fascinating to see the different perspectives. But thank you for your kind message and for sharing your story. Not all time is lost, because clearly you and I both learned something and now we know what we want! 😊

[@rezylrph]

You’re still bless coz u have your husband while me I don’t have friends and husband. 😢

[@JoanQuinto]

Yes, I’m fortunate to have my husband, but I do miss having female friends and having that kind of connection with. Just keep being you, focus on what you want, and I believe the right people will come into your life. Don’t lose hope! ❤️

[@HershNoeie]

At least your married. I have the same situation really. Really only have one friend kinda now. Like you married and that has kept me happy but having someone else is needed. Stick with it and you will find a friend.

[@JoanQuinto]

Yes, sometimes a friend would be nice outside of our marriage, someone different to talk to. Thank you for watching!

[@rickchandler2570]

Yeah, I know what you mean about friend types. I called them “activity” friends. I have cycling friends, backpacking friends, fishing friends, etc. That’s how it’s been my entire life and it’s just how it is. Nothing real deep and when that activity goes away, so does that friend. Interesting that a woman has these types of issues also. My wife is really good at making friends and I figured it was just men that struggled with this kind of thing.

[@JoanQuinto]

Exactly! When the fun stops, the friendship stops. My husband is better about not having friends. I sometimes miss having gal pals to bond with. Thanks so much for watching! I’m glad I was able to relate.

[@RealAttraxion]

While we don't need friends, we do need people in our lives for our brains to not make us feel depressed. Keep your mental health strong. Important tools to improve mental health and energy are Mirathia (ithought Mental Health Care), Light Language Activations healing, Reiki healing, and Quantum Manifestation..

[@edwinrivera1879]

I think if your married, if u have a good marriage that is. Not having friends or being social won’t really affect your life.

[@nivak11]

Maybe it's not all about you. Other people have a family, job, responsibilities, etc. A lot of people are overwhelmed, overworked...dealing with life. You are married-that already gives you an advantage over many out here.

[@bmark0610]

I haven't had a friend or friends or a social life since 2008ish. I'm 36 now, so its really been a long time. Recently got married to my Chinese wife, she talks to her distant friends, all of which only speak Chinese. I am also OK with no social life.

[@JoanQuinto]

Thank you for sharing your story and for watching my video. It gives me a positive outlook to know that you can be without friends for that long. I'm in my late thirties and just now embracing this stage of my life.

[@timelston4260]

I enjoyed hearing your story. It's especially nice to hear a Filipina share that perspective, since Filipinos have the reputation of being very sociable. I have always been very comfortable alone. I had a lot of friends, some very close, until I stopped believing my religion was true at age 40. I lost my life-long friends over that and have never made close friends since then. A few years ago I moved to a new town and don't have any social network here. But I am very content alone. Getting involved with people often brings stress and complication. I am grateful I don't have to fake religious belief to meet the expectations of my old friends. It's better to be alone and at peace with oneself than to live a lie and feel pressure to conform to what one was in the past.

[@JoanQuinto]

Thank you for your kind message and for sharing your story. My husband is a lot better about not having friends than I am, I do miss having female friends from time to time to just have girl talk with. And it’s true, most Filipinos are super social, i hardly see any of them spend time alone, let alone do things alone. But I also can agree that moving to a new town and not knowing anyone can bring a sense of peace and also freedom to just be who you are. Thanks for watching my video. 😊

[@maellebouron7881]

I totally agree with you.. Friendship is an important value for me. Love each others and help our friends when they need help. To be with them an any moment of their life. Not by material interest... Take care

[@JoanQuinto]

Absolutely! That’s why I’m okay with not having friends right now, I’ll wait til the right ones come into my life, where we can be there for each other through thick and thin. Thank you so much for watching!

[@Zortec]

I thought i was clicking on a SSSniperwolf video. Sorry to hear about your struggles. But the thing is your experience is very common for men who are still finding who they are so i can understand. Good luck to you.

[@tecomaman]

Define who you are ,what you believe and your values ,and look for those kind of people

[@7SideWays]

I'm like you and good with it. Most people are all about themselves but I will continue to give them a chance to ask a question.

[@JoanQuinto]

Yes absolutely, most of my friendships were one-sided, didn’t reciprocate now matter how much I was there for them through good times and bad. But then once I decided to bounce out of the state, still don’t hear from them. Lol. Thanks for watching!

[@tatymac21]

I am in the same exact boat. Covid exposed everyone’s values and priorities for sure. I would love to have friends like the women in sex and the city but even that is unrealistic for my introverted self haha. I heard a woman online say she was okay with friendships being transactional as in someone’s fitness friend (and that’s it) and then work/networking friend (and that’s it) basically she thought it made sense you have friends for having fun with only and then others for diff hobbies /work goals or the deeper stuff. I thought it was interesting and evolved haha. I am not there and okay with that, it helps to be introverted anyway.

[@JoanQuinto]

Having so many friends for different purposes was so exhausting though lol 😅 I had a hard time keeping up with so many contacts, which made me realize that I am still an introvert as much as I pretended not to be. 😂 But hopefully we will find the right “friends” that don’t exhaust us and we can stay focused on ourselves at the same time. Thank you for sharing your story and for watching!

[@belizejuliette7223]

So similar story! ❤

[@JoanQuinto]

Glad I can relate! Thanks so much for watching!

[@m.arnold717]

People with multitudes of friends tend to include acquaintances, friends of friends, co-workers, bosses...really, where does it end? What is a REAL friend?

[@JoanQuinto]

That is the question of the times!

[@foxfiregal]

Relating to all of this ❤ Quality over quantity and so much more aligned.

[@JoanQuinto]

I'm glad I was able to relate! Totally agree, quality over quantity. Thanks for watching!

[@MrRosebeing]

I don't have any friends, either. I spend my day writing pithy, hilariously funny comments on KZbin, and I'm okay with that. Life is what you make it. If you're happy, why worry. Too much emphasis is placed on having an active social life with lots of friends when you can achieve so much more if you live the opposite way.

[@JoanQuinto]

I am definitely embracing this stage in my life right now, but I know at some point, I would appreciate having a small community of like minded people, where we can count on each other. Thanks for message!

[@MrRosebeing]

@@JoanQuinto That's okay. Bear in mind that it's always good to have a dissenting voice.

[@JoanQuinto]

@MrRosebeing I absolutely agree!!