The more I listen to these calls, the more I want to hear the other person's side of things.
@linapesz3137 ай бұрын
Same
@flashthecorgi20537 ай бұрын
At 13:10 you could hear Delony wanted both sides too because he made an emphasis on that I would LOVE that conversation!
@trixie97777 ай бұрын
Yep!
@sarahr37476 ай бұрын
Agreed! There’s always another side to the story. People tend to sugar coat their own side.
@hannahstenstrom40286 ай бұрын
Yes. This is a 2-way street situation.
@bip53957 ай бұрын
To all husbands: if you worry about something and you don’t tell your wife to not make her worry - I GUARANTEE - she notices. 100%. And it affects her.
@awakenedone75777 ай бұрын
But then you tell her and she explodes and get ultra angry instead of trying to reason with you.
@bip53957 ай бұрын
@@awakenedone7577 if this is truly what happens when you are completely reasonable, it means she is a huge red flag. But if you are not completely reasonable then it may be also you…
@Maria-In-Motion7 ай бұрын
Women know. We know it all. Our instincts are spot on.
@bip53957 ай бұрын
@@Maria-In-Motion it is not instinct. It is just so obvious when you look at them.
@702prodigy7 ай бұрын
i don’t take any advice from women about women.
@kat70477 ай бұрын
I was a military wife for many years. My husband was constantly deployed or out to sea for the first 6 years of our marriage. We had 3 kids under three in the beginning of our marriage. He was constantly gone for months at a time then home for 2 weeks then gone for 4 months then home for 4 months then gone for a year etc. it was HARD. The hardest part was when he came home. I put my big girl panties on when he left and took care of EVERYTHING and everyone. It was HARD. When he came home he seemed to have certain expectations. He thought it was his time to relax while I continued to do all of the parenting and all of the housework etc. He didn’t respect the schedules that I had set that kept the children happy and me sane. It was like he threw a whole wrench in our lives every time he came home. He also expected everything to revolve around him. I would cry every day and was so stressed out and overwhelmed and overstimulated that I didn’t know what to do with myself. It was obvious he didn’t like me and frankly I didn’t like him either. I was depressed and unhappy and we discussed divorce multiple times. Once he stopped deploying and started spending significant amounts of time at home things got SOO much better. I finally had help and we were able to adjust the schedules in a way that was helpful to both of us etc… I promise him being away is causing her to have a really hard time. He doesn’t see all the problems it’s causing and just blames her for everything. He needs to do some serious self reflecting and have some important conversations with her that don’t start out with YOU don’t listen and I don’t like YOU.
@nchnch57916 ай бұрын
Wow. Same story here. When the kids were small my husband was underway all the time. He was very critical when he was home and wanted things done a certain way. We were young and he had no idea what I was going through. I didn’t express myself and he didn’t either. It hit the fan one day when he compared me to his sailor buddy’s wife who had older kids. We had a come to Jesus moment. 😂 We got through it and we’ve been married 21 years. That said I never lashed out at other people.
@kellibuzzard94316 ай бұрын
Exactly. ❤
@guitartalk9996 ай бұрын
Best comment.
@paulleannefischer11486 ай бұрын
The first two commenters are super stars. Thanks for sharing and for your perspective. It is really good for us to realize that military sacrifices are made by the entire family not just the soldier
@michellecornelson99186 ай бұрын
Amen, sister! I was a civilian military wife, and family life- all of it- landed on my shoulders. We had a rhythm when he was gone, and it was hard keeping all the balls in the air, but we did it. When he came home on leave, not only did he disrupt our rhythm, he caused the whole thing to come to a screeching halt! Rules would change, bedtimes changed, but he didn't help, because he was on vacation! When he left the military after 5 years in Afghanistan, he came home. He looked for a job, but couldn't find one he liked, so he didn't work. We divorced. Love each other? Like each other? Heck, we didn't KNOW each other!!!!😑
@cpeacenlove6 ай бұрын
Sounds like his wife is depressed/burnt out/overwhelmed...and he's oblivious.
@lindamann85202 ай бұрын
The 'he got the gold mine, I got the shaft' feeling
@Freedom-Fighter1Ай бұрын
It’s always the guys fault to you women.
@atuvera9021Ай бұрын
Or might have ADHD which is quite commonly undiagnosed in women in their 30s and also linked to depression and anxiety. I feel her.
@Ari__BowАй бұрын
His wife has ADHD!!!!!!!!!!!
@stuffykongАй бұрын
@@atuvera9021 Yes, that was my first thought
@giaholmed26267 ай бұрын
He makes appearances in the chaotic toddler home, to judge the burned out wife 😂😂😂
@psyche81877 ай бұрын
This is the best comment. This captures everything.
@TheSunBringsJoy7 ай бұрын
No excuse to lash out on strangers.
@jansmith31587 ай бұрын
the husband is cheating. That's why he doesnt like his wife. He is getting s. e///X from someone else
@DDubs-bi9zc7 ай бұрын
@@TheSunBringsJoyI agree. She needs to lash out at the person she is really angry with… her husband.
@AnitaSoler6 ай бұрын
Wow. This guy has no clue. I guarantee you brother. Your wife can't stand you either. Shes lost in her own mind, has brain fog, shes alone with a toddler all day . That's why she's miserable. You made her this way and now you don't like her. Lol, men like this are really something 😂😂
@TheLadyWolf15 ай бұрын
Three minutes in and I can tell you she's overwhelmed and he's neglectful, because they've been astranged for the entirety of their marriage and they don't even know eachother anymore.
@ellamackinnon64845 ай бұрын
Completely agree 100%. Also most his issues he has about his wife completely matches up with the profile of undiagnosed and untreated ADHD. I might be completely wrong but for context I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD since grade 3 and do academic research on ADHD. Not trying to diagnose her just pointing out the lack of care and communication could be causing them to miss a fixable issue that is not fixed to her actual personality.
@MeganWahrlich5 ай бұрын
My thoughts too! I forget a lot of what my husband has said or told me and it’s actually embarrassing because I think something is wrong with me. I really think I have undiagnosed ADD. I also have a couple chronic illnesses that make me have brain fog along with taking care of kids. It’s hard when you’re solo parenting like she seems to be doing. An airline pilot is gone for quite a few days in a row. I think it’s sweet of her to ask him to go out on a date since they don’t see each other often.
@elisemari.r46275 ай бұрын
I’d also ask, was this before or after the baby and/or if it’s intensified since… if it’s after, I was thinking maybe post natal depression.
@annabelle35105 ай бұрын
@@ellamackinnon6484 same here, I'm not a good listener and I often tend to dose off without even noticing, especially if someone is talking nonsense or over-explaining themselves.
@CheerfulCherryBlossoms-mt6ff4 ай бұрын
As an adult recently diagnosed with ADHD his list of things that he doesn’t like sound like that could be a cause. Definitely need her side of the story.
@JPanettieri7 ай бұрын
Is this doctor even going to mention the fact that this caller has never been a full-time member of his own family, and that perhaps THAT might impact his wife?
@sarahrobertson6347 ай бұрын
Absentee father and husband who doesn't participate in his family...equals stressed out, post partum, emotionally volitile wife. She needs to divorce him.
@susannapichula99477 ай бұрын
Agree.
@gidneybeans7 ай бұрын
@@sarahrobertson634 If the roles were reversed and the wife was complaining about the husband, I'm sure you would not be bashing her the same way. This is not a gender war. You clearly came to a conclusion here based on a male / female dynamic. You should try de-gender the caller and the callers spouse and think about what they really are saying. It's possible that he is an absentee father and the cause of many problems, yes. It's also possible she is everything he is saying she is. Who are we to know and judge based on the information available? Have an open mind. Men and women are not enemies.
@sarahrobertson6347 ай бұрын
@@gidneybeans We are absolutely enemies, and this is absolutely a war. I fight for women and children, against males.
@sitka497 ай бұрын
Probably shouldnt get married and have kids if your in the military I guess, or a job that takes you away from home months or weeks at a time?
@busybecky63277 ай бұрын
The way he described it makes me think his wife is probably not a bad person, but she is a VERY overstimulated, overworked mom taping together her mental health because she has no time for anything and all this built up comes out as frustration, not listening. Meanwhile, she's in survival mode and cant focus or retain information, or even think straight.. Even when he said "She didnt download the app to get into the museum" Everything is probably expected of her. Its hard being a busy mom in charge of ALL THE THINGS.
@cuttlefishlongbottomtonche39747 ай бұрын
Just like it's hard being a working dad responsible for all the things.
@lilpandanesegirl7 ай бұрын
@cuttlefishlongbottomtonche3974 yeah sure. if we all live simple lives this wouldn't have happened to begin with.
@lilpandanesegirl7 ай бұрын
this happens to me sometimes as a mom and the breadwinner. I have an unhealthy husband but he tries his best. I love him very much
@RepentImmediately7 ай бұрын
Why do women keep having children and then complaining about how hard it is? Isn't that understood before you have kids? Also, likely, she is the one who bought the museum tickets. Otherwise, why would she be the one talking to the clerk about the tickets?
@Evil-Rod-Farva7 ай бұрын
If you’re a stay at home mom your job is to excel at those things and not be a raging nag to the entire planet. Absolutely no one would say it’s ok for a guy who’s spent the day roofing in the hot Sun to come home and be a 12-foot wiener to their wife. Stop infantilizing women. Grow up.
@daisy99107 ай бұрын
So, he's away a lot of the time, leaving her to run the house and raise a child on her own. She asks for date nights, and sounds overwhelmed. Instead of offering support, "he doesn't like her". What a douche.
@taabbym5 ай бұрын
My thoughts exactly
@mesalouis89765 ай бұрын
Exactly.
@ktbiwk5 ай бұрын
😂❤
@Sadidesifamily5 ай бұрын
Yup . this
@mistyevans81605 ай бұрын
He cannot help how he feels now where he becomes a douche is not telling her and no evidence or not enough info supporting he doesn't help her.
@sierrasherman79497 ай бұрын
I wanna hear her side 😬
@Jaycarbrownie127 ай бұрын
Me too ! She doesn’t like him lol 😂
@sueshields91077 ай бұрын
I am sure she would have quite a bit to add. He is overly critical of her.
@melissam70677 ай бұрын
@@sueshields9107 he's critical for sure. i did not care for that comment about "oh we work out all the time" so buddy we get it. she's still hot-not fat. god forbid
@melynn447 ай бұрын
@@melissam7067 I caught that too. "I'm still attracted to her....we work out all the time" Wait, what?
@BrendaTufly7 ай бұрын
She needs to be heard.
@here2laff3977 ай бұрын
This man said he cringes when his wife mentions going out and spending time with him………..omg
@mesalouis89767 ай бұрын
He’s a jerk. He puts it all on her.
@ll23237 ай бұрын
Can u imagine how much he goes out with his boys, because I can guarantee he definitely being a military pilot 😂 those people are notoriously know for cheating.
@judybaker31967 ай бұрын
A jerk anddddd a coward.
@Snowboarding20207 ай бұрын
I get it, she sounds miserable to be around.
@cozymoggele7 ай бұрын
@@ll2323 omg just how far can you project? It's actually impressive
@hnkabraham7 ай бұрын
I am an Airline pilot for 23 years and married for 20 years with two grownup kid. He needs to talk to someone in his carrier who is married and remain married for guidance. We all go though this initially as it is a high paid glamorous field, you see only good things in life when working. You will see everyone’s happy face at work and you think that is how everyone at home also. But at home, you are husband and wife and she doesn’t need to smile at you and ask do you need coffee or tea. I hope he will listen to some mature guys and change the way he thinks and expectations about family life.
@okdk76 ай бұрын
Well said. Former wife of a pilot and I wish he had. Sadly , many gravitate toward others " in the same boat" ... yep.
@lavenderkisses94615 ай бұрын
Ty for the wisdom-hopefully he hears.
@korab.235 ай бұрын
As a divorced mom, I deeply value the long-married couples in my life. This is great advice.
@floodgates1825 ай бұрын
That's an interesting perspective, thanks
@mentak25935 ай бұрын
Good on you, sir. You understand married life!
@pamarroyo26067 ай бұрын
John. Military wife here. He’s left her holding the bag so long she’s checked out. What an arrogant man.
@vinodhakirba85276 ай бұрын
No amount of stress she's under excuses her disrespect towards others. If i were one of her female friends, i wouldn't go out with her either, because it would be embarrassing to have her lashing out at people.
@LadyEpileptic6 ай бұрын
I heard that arrogance also. But I also don’t understand how he can love her but not like her. I don’t think he really loves her as a wife should be loved. He should know her and know that something’s going on that’s causing her to not be her best. He should be concerned about her and want to help her. That’s love. But instead he is concerned about himself and that her behavior is making him unhappy and uncomfortable. I heard no concerns for her. Sounds like narcissistic abuse
@Rinniantoinette6 ай бұрын
@@vinodhakirba8527I agree but at the same time it depends on the context. We only have his side of things
@BBlair-if8tj6 ай бұрын
@@vinodhakirba8527It doesn’t excuse it. It does explain it. My guess is that she feels alone and trapped and he is not coming to help her. Like an animal with a foot caught in a vise.
@bonniemiller40416 ай бұрын
I love your thinking.
@yhiontop7 ай бұрын
Why is he so confident that she likes him? How does he know?
@RepentImmediately7 ай бұрын
My guess is that she's either all over him or is continually asking for time with him.
@glion77927 ай бұрын
She told him-and he listened.
@yorgivon-schmourgeussborgi7 ай бұрын
He sounds like a raging man child with narcissistic personality traits.
@ErinThePsychicWitch7 ай бұрын
She has to like him for survival
@elettramia63806 ай бұрын
@@ErinThePsychicWitchNot really, more like pretending to like him for survival .
@terrywade36965 ай бұрын
This guy is a self centered jerk! I went to the full broadcast and he’s not even trying to connect with his wife or even consider how difficult her life is when he’s gone! It’s all about him and his judgements of her! That poor woman!
@enis37043 ай бұрын
The fact that this Video even exits proves you completly wrong He wants to fix it and He seeks help
@seawatch394427 күн бұрын
@@enis3704, he wanted to hear Go get divorce, you deserve a better life. That's why he called.
@jakitaprice96337 ай бұрын
Imagine being married with kids...but NEVER HAVING YOUR HUSBAND around to help with his responsibilities. This woman is a freaking SINGLE PARENT!
@lindsaydiscovers98427 ай бұрын
Yes. That is how me and my 3 sisters were raised. Or mom died when we were 21, 19, 14 and 14, and now 2 of us do not speak to our father, and one only with a lot of boundaries. He expected us to worship him for doing the bare minimum.
@getoutofbed46847 ай бұрын
And your just going to give up on everything just because its over? Do you realize how much of a failure you sound like? You need to fight a little harder for your family. @@heatherjordan4022
@jessicanehrboss67257 ай бұрын
Wow. Lol I just don't understand this type of thinking.
@leticiavasquezvillegas48027 ай бұрын
Then she is selfish if she not providing income! Sounds to me she is an immature toxic female that is not satisfied.
@LittleImpaler7 ай бұрын
The husband is helping. He's making money so they have things they need.
@susannapichula99477 ай бұрын
Dr.John totally missed the mark on this one. The caller isnt being completely honest with his behaviour towards his wife. His wife had a child during COVID and for some females after giving birth the postpartum depression can look like anger and postparum depression can last for a few years. He checked out of the marriage a long time ago. And lies to his wife when she asks him if he likes her. He has some growing up to do. Does this caller listen to his wife when she is speaking to him?? I highly doubt it. I suspect he is constantly correcting her or telling her what she is doing wrong. That could be why she doesnt listen to him.
@meowpurrrrr7 ай бұрын
I was thinking this exact thing, especially the part where he is probably constantly correcting her. That sort of thing beats you down after awhile. You feel like your spouse is more like a parent. It's also likely that she is bottling up her emotions and then explodes. She shouldn't be taking her anger and frustration out on strangers, but I wonder if she has become really hard on herself over making mistakes because of the high standards of her husband. The pressure might be too much. It would be interesting to know if she acts the same way when her husband isn't around.
@Butterflyyyxoxo7 ай бұрын
Yep this happened to me and I just checked out. Demanding perfection while always criticizing every little thing..
@ConernicusRex7 ай бұрын
"Man bad"
@ConernicusRex7 ай бұрын
@@meowpurrrrr If you're being constantly corrected, make the changes, dum-dum!
@meowpurrrrr7 ай бұрын
@@ConernicusRex "corrected". It's possible he's a nag. Usually it's the other way around, but it is possible for the man to be a nag too. When you can never do any right in the eyes of your partner it's soul crushing.
@SaltwaterRebellion5 ай бұрын
His contempt for her is unnerving. She's got to be overwhelmed and feeling alone with him right there.
@9babyblu5 ай бұрын
Right? This man child lives the single life. Sounds like the wife is overwhelmed, doesn't receive help or support and is forgetful. I'm extremely forgetful due to the constant stress (of life in general) I'm in. My spouse gets so mad that I don't remember what he says. I just tell him I have a legit memory issue and it's not that I'm being purposeful with forgetting. This guy sounds like he has a supportive wife, a family and a home. Does he ask her about her? God he sounds like he's upset with a child. I'd put $ on thinking she's probably the nicest person but most tired person right now.
@maryleung14252 ай бұрын
The husband is a jerk ...he's thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence ....he's needs to smarten up
@adouglas84052 ай бұрын
Great analysis- always on defense
@sorciresoriano11962 ай бұрын
I don't think he is being a jerk per se, but he should tell her that he just doesn't want to be with her Him holding back the truth I causing the stress on them both.
@Freedom-Fighter1Ай бұрын
Cry harder
@danarib7 ай бұрын
Deloney you let this one go over your head. He isn’t even present in his household!!! He’s gone for days and weeks at a time and she’s practically a single mother. He recognized that she gets overstimulated and that she can lash out, but as a good husband he would share some of the burden so she wouldn’t get overstimulated. Does he control the son when they’re out in public? Why didn’t he do some research before they went to the museum? It sounds like he leaves her to crash and burn whether he’s present or away. I’d love to hear her side of the story. She seems to have a lot on her plate
@silverbombshell7 ай бұрын
Absolutely my thoughts.
@tinahilliard44477 ай бұрын
Why couldn't the husband download the damn app?
@DaPhlyymamee6 ай бұрын
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
@Trish-lamour6 ай бұрын
Exactly, "SHE didn't download the app". What are you doing?
@Danielle333845 ай бұрын
@@tinahilliard4447bingo!! Why the hell could he not!?
@_Sakidora_7 ай бұрын
This sounds like a woman who has the world on her shoulders because she's the one home and running the house, taking care of the kid while her husband is away and then when he is back, I bet it was her who planned the day at the museum and tried to make everything go smoothly and sometimes things are just the straw that breaks the camels back, like the museum attendant asking if she downloaded the app as an answer to whatever issue she was inquiring about. She probably thought in her head 'oh, one more thing for ME to do!' Maybe the husband could have looked into what museum they were going to and noticed there was an app to download. Makes me wonder how involved in helping out he is when he is home as opposed to 'I'm home, drop everything and listen to me'.
@nikan77047 ай бұрын
YES!
@JML5427 ай бұрын
Yes, highly likely.
@RepentImmediately7 ай бұрын
Many single mothers run their lives without flipping out on people.
@Evil-Rod-Farva7 ай бұрын
So it isn’t possible she’s just an a-hole? Why is the narrative that the guy isn’t doing enough dishes, taking out enough trash, or telling her how awesome she is? Is it a man’s job to train another adult on how to behave? You ladies need to either step into adulthood or admit you’re the children you want to be.
@edwinbz98897 ай бұрын
You definitely sound like a woman.
@californiacoast70215 ай бұрын
John dropped the ball on this call. That Husband has been absent and not involved with his home life. Why can’t He download the damn app and actually participate in the relationship. This man doesn’t love his wife.
@lynaeeakettgreene72085 ай бұрын
Right, why does it have to be her job to download the app, he could download the app too! How does he behave behind the scenes that makes her so stressed out when something goes wrong while out. I'm sure there are a bunch of things she has to say about how he behaves. Maybe stopping for gas at that point is going to make them late for something and she's wondering why he didn't say something about needing gas sooner so they could have planned for it.
@LoveMuffin8003 ай бұрын
The issue was with her lashing out at the museum worker. The worker doesn't deserve abuse for that.
@hummingbird49343 ай бұрын
She sounds like a bag of nerves poor woman. It was wrong to snap at anyone but at the end of the day she’s only human. I’d quite like to know what he was doing while she was struggling to cope
@Bazzman19742 ай бұрын
@@hummingbird4934ooooorrrrr.... she has always had these behavioral issues but, being deployed, he wasn't around enough to really see them for what they are. I mean, it's POSSIBLE. 🤷🏿♂️ We have to stop prefacing these conversations with the assumption that the woman in question walks on water. It's condescending, to say the least.
@SuzanneQuew-vc4us2 ай бұрын
Boom…he wants out.
@Sarah-dq1fm7 ай бұрын
These videos makes me rethink getting married! Couldn’t imagine being married to someone who doesn’t even like me, that’s like the minimum requirement 😬
@Zumcho7 ай бұрын
It's getting less and less worth it to get legally married, that's for sure. Nobody stays together anymore anyway.
@alexw88217 ай бұрын
No one in a happy marriage is calling into a radio show. You’re only hearing from the bad marriages.
@hansblitz77707 ай бұрын
It requires CIA level vetting.
@k-mart74757 ай бұрын
@@Zumchoas opposed to what?
@tacooflove61757 ай бұрын
It’s why marrying someone you don’t want to change is 🔥 Even in friendships though you can go through seasons where one of you doesn’t like the other but usually time together fixes that.
@Price89037 ай бұрын
He’s not hardly home, but when he’s home he dislikes her and doesn’t want to spend time with her. I said this on another episode of Dr. Deloney’s show when a man said he’s always regretted his marriage: A lot of men will sit there and be a cloud of insufferable energy over there household but refuse to leave and act like everything is okay.
@MommasPeachCobbler7 ай бұрын
Exactly. Husband is miserable as well, but complain that wife initiates a divorce.
@momosan117 ай бұрын
He mentioned how she treats other people, and then can't understand how she is venting in other ways while saying he doesn't like her....OMG!!! And he thinks he contains his disdain for her?? People are so delusional. He will later blame the wife for filing for divorce and "breaking up the family".
@sinceresinclair7 ай бұрын
Yes this is the one.
@trixie97777 ай бұрын
Facts!
@sucks2bthem7 ай бұрын
@@momosan11 bingo! They don't want to be the bad guy and let's not forget "its cheaper to keep her"
@farmhouseonthemountain5 ай бұрын
I don't think he's really looking for help, he's looking for permission to ask for a divorce.
@lusilva99112 ай бұрын
My thoughts, exactly. He seems to not be in the marriage anymore.
@Jasm2752 ай бұрын
Yup 😒 what a liar
@Freedom-Fighter1Ай бұрын
She’s a horrible person and you’re blaming him?
@emilyearl1858Ай бұрын
@@Freedom-Fighter1😢 how are you even comfortable making a comment like this?
@BrynieBАй бұрын
@@Freedom-Fighter1I read a lot of your comments on this video, and it appears you don’t like women…at all.
@judybaker31967 ай бұрын
What a piece of work! I feel sorry for his wife. I hope she gets out while she’s young.
@AlexisDavis167 ай бұрын
Yes
@tanishanightingale6 ай бұрын
I hope so
@st-nw7tm5 ай бұрын
I wish he would have asked..."you did not like that she didnt have the App downloaded for the museum and "lashed out" at the worker....why could you not have downloaded the App? Instead of criticizing her, what do you even do to help?
@countrygirl74025 ай бұрын
He doesn't like her. Really?? What a major a-hole. Didn't stop him from impregnating her, did it? He's never there. How would he even know if he likes her? She asks for a date night night or some time with her husband, and he cringes. I hope this woman runs. Far and fast. And I am sure she has noticed. Women notice. Total jerk. Man I am so mad for that poor woman and she is stuck with that piece of work in her life forever.
@RoseWater207 ай бұрын
I suspect he’s having an affair/flings. Airline pilot. He’s trying to make it easier for him to not be with her. “It’s her, not me.”
@SusannaKH5 ай бұрын
totally my thought
@shueibdahir5 ай бұрын
@@SusannaKHmmm not always the case. You're seeing that because you got cheated on or had an affair. This happens because he has certain expectations of his wife due to his upbringing or culture and she isn't fulfilling that role. I also suspect she has the same problem. She expects him to help around the house when his home but doesn't do that, instead he wants to relax since that's his time off work, but she never gets that.
@carriebell35665 ай бұрын
This!!!
@carriebell35665 ай бұрын
@@shueibdahirshe doesn’t get time off from work. Why should he?
@shueibdahir5 ай бұрын
@@carriebell3566 This is not about what should be, it's about what is. There's two people unable to understand each others perspectives and both of thel feel like they're right. Their feelings are indeed valid but they're going about this totally wrong. What they need is empathy for each other and a way to get both of their needs met
@audreylee56787 ай бұрын
When I listened to this on Spotify I was screaming in my head at how Dr.John actually missed the mark on this caller. I knew I had to come to the comments on KZbin when it was released and was relieved to see that many other people, particularly wife’s and mothers, heard the same thing I did. This husband is not supporting his wife. His wife carries the entire burden of everything. She’s unsupported by him and he’s the absent husband who has no idea what she carries every single day. The wife wasn’t in the call but us women heard exactly what the problem is. Too many of us know all to well what she is experiencing and that’s exactly what it is. I love your show Dr.John, but you missed the mark on this one!
@Greenfox865 ай бұрын
Absolutely!!!!
@TheBrooke0355 ай бұрын
Sounds like to me she has ADHD & anxiety
@Ruffles20125 ай бұрын
@@TheBrooke035or is maybe just sleep deprived from having young children???
@Animeop-15195 ай бұрын
Or maybe listen here .. she's a btch ... Stop making up excuses for women bad behavior
@baileya3685 ай бұрын
Agree completely. I wonder if he's considered dissecting the "she doesn't listen" problem. Is she on her phone when he's speaking to her, like is she straight up not paying attention? Or is she having memory problems? Or is she inconsiderate- has he ever asked why it's happening? Husbands do this all the time. Can't remember doctors' appointments for kids, which cereal brand is her favorite, etc. But now that a woman does it he doesn't like her anymore...okay. Super surprised John didn't address that this husband/father is not either of those. He's a person in a marriage and has made a child.
@Gabster19907 ай бұрын
So many dudes just get with a woman because they are 'hot' but don't get to know them as a person.
@caseyjc57 ай бұрын
Agreed! Unless she all of a sudden changed for the worse he should have not ignored those red flags.
@sjejsj76157 ай бұрын
I mean same could be said about literally anybody
@ll23237 ай бұрын
A lot of military marry for the BAH and other amenities too.
@ireefree20247 ай бұрын
Maybe she's just hungry 😂 because she needs to stay hot... I'm also not in a good mood, if I'm starving 😊
@caseyjc57 ай бұрын
@@ireefree2024 What an extremely ignorant comment 🙄
@MyForeverPerson7 ай бұрын
He probably treats her like a child. He’s military I know this type of man. They can be very condescending, demeaning.
@QubitVector7 ай бұрын
You don’t know him at all 😂
@thesb28367 ай бұрын
you see his heart and their situation by your ears alone. You are incredible
@Nature-ep5cu7 ай бұрын
👏👍
@doctorposting7 ай бұрын
yupp
@sarahrobertson6347 ай бұрын
@@QubitVectorHis personality really came through on this call.
@christoph15965 ай бұрын
The most selfish people call into the radio sometimes
@klickingkayasmr75853 ай бұрын
Yep. Delusional people who complain the most don’t self reflect.
@gewurztramina2 ай бұрын
We are all selfish. It’s human nature
@christoph15962 ай бұрын
@@gewurztramina K… what was the point of that comment? Lol What you just said is the equivalent of me saying “The most ruthless killers call sometimes” and you replying “Were all killers. It’s human nature”.
@mssdn89767 ай бұрын
My friend was married to someone who was away a lot of the time. She had to cope alone 3 weeks out of 4, then he’d come back for a week and turn her world upside down then leave again. It’s a difficult life, you have to change how you live
@Plooky19697 ай бұрын
Yep! The routine is in chaos. It’s stressful. They need therapy to learn how to better communicate.
@RepentImmediately7 ай бұрын
She couldn't cope with spending time by herself?
@patriciakubitz13797 ай бұрын
@@RepentImmediately No, she has to cope on her own by herself so when he comes home and wants everything to revert back to the routine before he left makes it difficult to transition. Military wives deal with this quite often.
@diggernash17 ай бұрын
This guy does need to make a major change. Become single.
@kimdavis54037 ай бұрын
Bingo!!!
@DuffyGabi7 ай бұрын
I have been married 31 years. My wife says I’m a bad listener, at least that’s what I think she said.
@badclown087 ай бұрын
Lol
@tonii20197 ай бұрын
😆
@mesalouis89767 ай бұрын
No, she said you’re a bad dancer. Get you ears checked.
@micmac1377 ай бұрын
😂
@mkultraviolenc37 ай бұрын
"Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention."
@kellygosa74385 ай бұрын
A woman quickly learns to not rely on a man if he is physically and/or emotionally gone. It’s also very strange for someone to come back into your home and try to make decisions and criticize you - especially when they are doing all of the child rearing and homemaking. She is probably lashing out because she feels neglected and knows the relationship is on the rocks.
@9babyblu5 ай бұрын
The way he spoke like he was upset with a child... I can just imagine how he's actually talking to her like she's a child. I wonder why she would be on edge. She has no safety with him. Personally, I think this caller sounds like a tool.
@lindamann85202 ай бұрын
By her asking him if he even likes her is a sign she knows he's checked out. Bet this ISN'T how she thought her married life would be going forward.
@ana-maria448Ай бұрын
Yes. In my last relationship at the end of the relationship, I started being more angry, lashing at him, I was nor happy how I became. As I have studied psychology I realised I was emotionally abused and lied like this guy liws ro his wife. He was saying hw loves me, he wants to be with me, but won't keep jis promises. Also my relationship was long-distance. I regret for how I behaved at the dnd of the relationship, it's called reactive abuse to some degree.
@sterndesert7 ай бұрын
As a man. My first instinct is to accept this call for what it is before what the caller said. However, in marriage, I have learned that there are always two sides to the story. I would love to have the other side.
@lindsaymarshall17897 ай бұрын
i would love to hear what the wife would say to this caller.
@K_M.G7 ай бұрын
Exactly. I need to hear the wife side of the story.
@tonii20197 ай бұрын
If she treats people so poorly in public, I really don’t want to hear her side of the story. This is sad. I hope the best for them. I was expecting Dr. John to recommend professional counseling. 😬
@sjaykay98847 ай бұрын
@@tonii2019even in that there’s always another side. Is the husband gone for large amounts of time and then coming home and wants to be out all the time at the museum, and at the park, and at the zoo etc to make up for missed time and the wife is exhausted and resentful? Does that excuse it if that’s the case? Or course not. But there’s something at that root. He liked her when he married her and something changed in her, or him, or them.
@ctormin7 ай бұрын
That's not the point of the video though, we're not litigating who's right or wrong in this situation. It doesn't matter. He called for advice on his handling of the situation.
@KENTUCKYUSA17 ай бұрын
They need serious counseling, not a call in show. Hubby drops in from time to time like a comet visiting earth, and wifey is supposed to drop everything and focus intently on him. Meanwhile she is saddled with a stressful and boring life and she may well need mental help (as may he) and a lot of understanding. She probably doesn't like him either. He lies that he likes her when he doesn't. Her back is to the wall and of course she lashes out. Meanwhile he is feeling important and necessary at a high paying job. She may well feel that she is nothing. Marriage is hard. He does not know this, not does he want to change his behavior. She is the one who "needs to change" so he is always comfortable. This man is an emotional infant. They both need help.
@jasoncraig6067 ай бұрын
I’d call you on a show for advice😂
@archaicamusement38717 ай бұрын
😂@@jasoncraig606
@fightsportspace73277 ай бұрын
“Man fault”
@thematrix36637 ай бұрын
He wants an upgrade now that he is a pilot.
@soulanstreets2227 ай бұрын
His fault. There is no excuse to lie to your spouse to avoid confronting issues in the marriage. @@fightsportspace7327
@kbc18835 ай бұрын
He voices zero concern for or curiosity about his wife and her state of well being. Not once did he suggest that he was thoughtful about her situation, her needs. It was weirdly lacking.
@Oce677 ай бұрын
My ex worked for Airline he was a jerk. He said if I didn’t have anything intelligent to say don’t talk to him. I was stay home with 2 kids. He chose to hang out with coworkers instead with me and the kids. Been divorced 19 years it still hurts.
@istillbetalkin7 ай бұрын
Oh no, 19 years is a long time to hurt over a jerk. U should have celebrated the day you signed the paperwork.
@joannaa.51017 ай бұрын
He is the sorry one.. . You and now two grown, mature, and good-natured adult children who he missed out for self.
@KarenSevereide-kj7mv7 ай бұрын
This guy sounds like a jerk as well - wants out of the marriage and looking for permission. Wouldn’t be surprised if there was someone else.
@Snowboarding20207 ай бұрын
In stead of bettering yourself, you broke up your family smh,
@joannaa.51017 ай бұрын
@AEdavirgin How much can he belittle her when he doesn't want or like her. Those kids didn't need to live with Mr. Wonderful. He broke up their home as well without a miniscule consideration for anyone's welfare but his own.
@maribethgonzalez21917 ай бұрын
Maybe you don’t realize everything she has to go through while you’re gone most of the time? As a former military spouse, when your husband leaves your left with everything - kids, house, car, yard…. it can sometimes be overwhelming. I don’t think many military members realize that.
@okdk76 ай бұрын
When you are in the Military there are often support groups ... the Airlines, not so much. It is a lot , especially when you are uprooted from your support network. Wishing you good things. From a former wife of a Military / Airline pilot...
@rhondaalbarano5777 ай бұрын
My husband will always accuse me of "attacking" him. So, I hesitate to even mention ANYTHING.
@ektaaasar6 ай бұрын
Accountability feels like an attack when they are not ready to acknowledge how their behaviour affects others.
@jjvillejack5 ай бұрын
Does he have childhood trauma? This is my husband too, but he’s seeing a therapist.
@_nelson_19585 ай бұрын
Get out.
@PallidusCarnifex2 ай бұрын
@@_nelson_1958Grow up.
@kenziebender9987 ай бұрын
Forgetting things, not listening, forgetting conversations, lashing out when emotional…does your wife have ADHD?
@nattie9117 ай бұрын
Good point! Lots of women don't get diagnosed until they're adults, bc they don't appear like the stereotypical hyperactive boys
@andrewcundiff55607 ай бұрын
And/or autism
@crystalglopez916237 ай бұрын
I was thinking the same thing
@DarthFurie7 ай бұрын
I have ADHD and (if that's it) it's possible to manage it way better than this. His wife sounds extremely challenging to deal with, sure some things I can't help like delayed verbal processing and forgetting conversations, which is why I take notes and use tools to help my memory. I take ownership over managing myself and my responsibilities, and I don't treat people in a mean or rude way. ADHD isn't an excuse for her being "emotionally explosive" at all and making others walk on eggshells, nor is it an excuse for avoiding accountability when you mess up. I wouldn't want to be around somebody like that either
@Jaycarbrownie127 ай бұрын
Sounds like me ! My minds runs a mile a minute he could be talking and I’m making a grocery list in my head. He complains I don’t listen
@betbabe82227 ай бұрын
Is this caller a partner to his wife? He's been gone their whole relationship leaving her with all responsibilities of the home and the entire mental load. He waltzes in now and then (possibly expecting perfection) and disrupts everyday life. John forgot to ask what the caller is contributing to the relationship besides financial stability. I agree with other posters who suspect undiagnosed ADHD.
@mskimy11257 ай бұрын
Describing a man returning home from work as "waltzing in" and "disrupting everyday life" is wild. Then to top it off we are now making up that he demands perfection. Meanwhile, his wife lashes out at strangers but its not her fault cause she probably has adhd. Why do we insist on infantilizing women and vilainizing men? Maybe she has adhd...or maybe she has a volitile personality. If the roles were reversed people would say he was a narcissist and that she should leave him.
@agricolaregs7 ай бұрын
@@mskimy1125thank you. That’s the comment I was looking for!!!
@fralanasko29007 ай бұрын
@@mskimy1125no, it is her fault, but meltdowns like that when you have autism or adhd are not the same as 'just being a jerk'. It's caused by overwhelm from actual brain processes that are different in neurodiglvergent people. They can absolutely be managed but not in the same way you'd manage it with a typical person. She needs treatment, counselling, and maybe meds specific for her co dition. That will make a world of difference and stop that behavior.
@fralanasko29007 ай бұрын
@@mskimy1125if this was a man the adhd would have been caught when he was a child.... so......
@karenbale89527 ай бұрын
John, Walk in his wife’s shoes.
@michelledemers93125 ай бұрын
Dr. John I love you but I think you missed STEP 1. The wife is clearly unhappy. Why doesn't the husband/caller ask if she's unhappy and help figure out why and listen instead of immediately launching into "I can't be with someone who is disrespectful to other people and who don't listen to me." She wasn't always like this. So why has she become this? And what role has he played directly or indirectly? I'm not saying he can't bring up the issues he doesn't like. I'm just saying, he shouldn't start there. And by starting I'm not saying it can't even be in the same conversation. It just can't be first if he wants to get anywhere with her. He gets to live the glorious life as the pilot who is revered, who travels, who looks amazing in the uniform and gets the oohs and aahs and she's at home trying to hold the rest of the family life together. Why couldn't he take charge of the museum day and download the app??? Like why was that HER responsibility? Dr. John, you're the guy in the limelight with the book and the podcast - similar to the pilot. So I think you missed calling the guy out on something because you and he are a lot alike and don't see the situation from her side. Nothing is as exhausting as living beneath your potential and unrealized dreams. Maybe she would like to do something with her life and she doesn't get a chance because she's supporting her husband's career and raising his kids. When you are burnt out, it's not that you don't listen, it's that you don't retain information. No one likes to be that person that yells at other people. She probably hates herself for doing it but she's so fried she can't control herself. Why doesn't the husband say, "What can I do for you? What are your dreams? Thank you for taking care of us." Before he starts to pick her apart.
@carolinebarber7573Ай бұрын
Exactly
@monicaschanneltruth8039Ай бұрын
Facts only woman are really seeing this guy for who he really is because I’m a military wife and I know exactly how military men like to throw everything on the wife then come home and run stuff like they haven’t been on all year then nit pick there wives to death
@cynthialammon710Ай бұрын
Great, thought out comment. He's playing the blame game. Speak for himself; what does he contribute. Does he try yo relieve some of her load. Give me a break. B lame, blame like a child.
@Okay1827 ай бұрын
I hope he leaves her or figures out their issues before he begins to seek out other women😭 I’m a flight attendant and see pilots EVERYDAY cheat OPENLY on their wives. It’s disgusting. I hope this man can work through this or be honorable and leave before he does something disrespectful.
@Okay1827 ай бұрын
If I were to guess, he’s a new pilot and makes good money. There’s attractive flight attendants that he works with everyday in random cities and hotels. She’s probably really scared too that he’s being unfaithful. I think he’s going through a season of being unhappy in marriage and then sees the thrill of being a new hire pilot. He needs to make a choice.
@sarahalderman31267 ай бұрын
@@Okay182most likely already cheating or about to if he's already playing this game... pretty standard as far as husband's go.
@2wheelsarefun737 ай бұрын
@@sarahalderman3126pretty standard as far as wives go
@skyfall14817 ай бұрын
Yep. He’s started a new career, it’s all new and exciting then comes home to a dowdy wife but he forgets she has to raise their child! If he doesn’t like his wife, he likes someone else!!!
@diplomatdiplomat28007 ай бұрын
Of course, he's been cheating for ages
@kellyhealy7347 ай бұрын
I need to hear her side. Having young kids makes your mind mush -- staying at home all day, every day with them, even mushier. Ever since our two small kids were born, I often struggle to truly listen and even comprehend what my husband is saying. No joke. It bothers me too.
@louiseyvette22617 ай бұрын
Exactly, this man is unreal
@augustasibille6 ай бұрын
Maybe get a jib and birth control?
@Kivlor5 ай бұрын
I work from home (self-employed) and I definitely felt like my brain was melting when I moved to working from home to stay with the kids as a dad. One of the biggest things that helped was creating schedules of things to do with them throughout the day, where I could still work from the phone as needed. We get out of the house and go to church, go to the park, go to the mall, visit with family and friends over coffee. Staying in the house with a bunch of kids is too draining for me, but it also means more chores have to be done later.
@annaworth2867 ай бұрын
To the caller and the therapist- Speaking from my own experience as a wife, mother, and full time working woman, this man’s wife is exhausted, she’s had years of being left behind, and carrying responsibility for everything to do with their home and child. She doesn’t hear him, because she’s living inside her own thoughts 99% of the time. The caller is high on living his single, exciting life, meeting younger men and women who might not be burdened with the same responsibility shouldered by his wife. He needs to be honest with himself, he doesn’t want a wife, child, and responsibilities, he wants to be free. He wants to live a single life answering only to himself, not to mention the chance of seeing other women (has he already had affairs?), he thinks that the grass is going to be greener on the other side, he’s in for a shock!
@theezenriarinze92035 ай бұрын
She's not paying the bills so no she's not carrying everything. If he stops working there's no home to carry.
@carolinebarber7573Ай бұрын
Spot on! This call was terrible to listen to. Zero accountability.
@drew6846Ай бұрын
This is why men don’t talk about things. Women immediately defend, instead of hearing. Did he ever say he was perfect. He didn’t need to explain that she solely takes care of the kids it was IMPLIED, both men understood that point.
@kumi94797 ай бұрын
When I was married and my husband was in the army, he deployed for 15 months at a time while I was also active duty in the Air Force + taking care of our daughter full-time we definitely became resentful of each other. I'm sure he probably felt the same about me as this caller does his wife, I on the other hand was resentful that my husband dropped into our house from time-to-time and disrupted the household. I.E took over things and changed the routines when I was the one holding down the fort 98% of the time. Maybe this is why this caller's wife seems distant. Living completely separate lives can create a weird dynamic in a relationship.
@hoosiermama30017 ай бұрын
Two men who have no idea what it's like to be home with a toddler with no help from the other parent. It's likely she is very stressed, and they didn't consider that at all. Blame it on "seasons" and ignore the family balance issues.
@elladeon7 ай бұрын
My son was a terrible sleeper. I got 6 hours of interrupted sleep on a good night, 1-3 hours on a bad night. For 3.5 years. I had zero help from my husband (but a lot of criticism). It was exhausting.
@sfc57747 ай бұрын
@@elladeonMakes ME tired just thinking about it.
@judybaker31967 ай бұрын
And she may have a full time on top of all that.
@Bullen_37 ай бұрын
Doesn't by any means,give you the right to take it out on strangers..
@elladeon7 ай бұрын
@Bullen_3 it doesn't, and that is a failing that she has to deal with (whatever the cause). But he obviously has a wife that's struggling, and his reaction for years has just been to abandon her. He doesn't have the right to judge her.
@aliciaelizabeth97297 ай бұрын
This guy is cringe. Wife needs to divorce him. Ew.
@stephaniec52157 ай бұрын
Husband ASSUMES wife likes HIM? And if she doesn’t, she has ADHD? Bahahaha He’s allowed to reject her and she ISN’T?
@snobbishruk7517 ай бұрын
U sound very much like the unlikeable wife being talked about.
@dc16747 ай бұрын
Defensive much? People know when they are likable or difficilt. I know I'm difficult, get frustrsted easily, and dont listen well. He knows he is likeable and easy going...you can hear it in his voice. Why are you surprised by this?
@stephaniec52157 ай бұрын
@@dc1674 bro code duly noted. John’s advice was terrible then: No need to have a “state of the union talk with (the) wife”. She already knows she’s unlikeable and thus, her husband doesn’t like her. Simple!
@pmbarro7 ай бұрын
Who hurt you? Lol
@susanhull28557 ай бұрын
No it’s just that the way he describes her sounds like ADHD
@hopeup27927 ай бұрын
If you want to talk things out you never should bring up and make divorce an option because it comes across as a threat.
@JML5427 ай бұрын
💯% If she wants that marriage at all, it will send her into a tailspin of anxiety and she won't be able to hear anything else.
@cuttlefishlongbottomtonche39747 ай бұрын
Yup, it happened to me. But turns out I have huge abandonment issues. I took it as a threat and called her bluff. Now we've hurt each other so bad there's no fixing it
@okdk76 ай бұрын
@@cuttlefishlongbottomtonche3974 Sad ... happens a lot.
@farzanjavaher5 ай бұрын
Ive come to a realization that as men, we are never off the hook. And thats okay. Thats how it’s supposed to be. When you’re married, your responsibilities go far beyond your career, paying the bills and “providing” for your family. Thats what a single man does: only take care of himself. But if youre married and have children, youre still responsible for your family’s daily upkeep. If your wife is dealing with 3 toddlers at home, you can come home, cook AND clean, just like you would come home as a single man, cook yourself something and wash the dishes. So many of us think that our big job and important career is significant enough to justify us distancing ourselves from the problems at home. That putting out fires at work justifies coming home to relax. Its not. Its how you distance yourself as a father. Its how you become distant as a husband/boyfriend/lover/everything. Masculinity is also about self sacrifice.
@karri89982 ай бұрын
You are a good man and your wife is a lucky woman! Betting you are an amazing team!
@AndiFarmGirlАй бұрын
❤
@crazycrashgirlrx742328 күн бұрын
Thank you ❤
@kiwiskiwi7 ай бұрын
"Do you even like me?" he then lies instead of communicating. It's a problem when we want feedback, reassurance or want some honesty, and then get told what we don't need to hear.
@MarcusKiner7 ай бұрын
Does she have the tools to deal with an honest answer? I wonder..
@artisticagi7 ай бұрын
Doesn’t matter. You have to be honest. That’s her responsibility to fix, and if she wants your assistance then great but it’s not on you. People are in control of themselves only.
@CRose92057 ай бұрын
@artisticagi Women like this aren't in control on themselves, though.
@weekendnomad50387 ай бұрын
Right?! One time my husband was like “ no I don’t” and I was like “I don’t like you either “ and we got over it a few days later 😂 marriage and love are a commitment
@IndigoWisdom17 ай бұрын
Who needs feedback on being a mean person. That's basics to being an Adult Human Being!
@hannah00797 ай бұрын
As he spends so much time away from home, I would have asked if he was seeing someone else and finding an excuse to dislike her. If she has a young child at home and she is alone, most of the time, she may just feel overwhelmed that she has most of the family responsibilities.
@queenred.61595 ай бұрын
She might be so stressed out and she's lashing out. Sometimes women have issues expressing feelings as well. The issue I have is that men Sometimes don't want the woman coming back to him with issues she has with him. He just wants to be the one to have the issue. It's giving controlling vibes when men do that.
@DeRone225 ай бұрын
I saw the video... she needs a vacation and he needs to be more of a father and husband than only a provider.
@AndiMaddux7 ай бұрын
She hates him and is trying to tolerate his ass when he is home.
@fancyfree82286 ай бұрын
She’s probably also telling herself she is the problem to not be able to manage everything all the time.
@okdk76 ай бұрын
@@fancyfree8228 I hear that... 😢
@cg741graf57 ай бұрын
🔥This one sank fast and furious. 😢 Dr. John is off the mark; the condescending comments are crazy. She’s the one holding down the fort and dealing with the daily, he flies in and wants happy pants, meanwhile she’s tired/frustrated/and lonely. Ever been next to your spouse and yet a mile away in energy. She’s probably ready to find how to get out and find a marriage that is more balanced and stable. But hey, he doesn’t ‘like’ her. 😂
@caddywampus5 ай бұрын
He's pissed because his wife and household aren't to his standards. She's burned out, plain tired, and broken mentally and physically. Her treatment of other people outside of their family unit is an example if this. Your wife is not ok.
@mrfranchize027 ай бұрын
I've been married 20 years. In our early years we resolved most of our conflicts through letters and email. Sometimes you have to try different forms of communication. As a bonus we go back and read them years later and it's always hilarious.
@ilexevergreen54057 ай бұрын
Too funny!!
@gsquared23947 ай бұрын
Good point. If my wife wants me to remember an event, its easier to email me so I can put it on my calendar. I’ll also send email reminders that are more effective than a text or passing word. I’ve stopped text fighting because it goes nowhere. Email fighting would likely be the same. Direct calm conversation is the best way for me.
@ack1537 ай бұрын
That's a great idea. My husband and I wrote letters while we were dating and we should get back into that.
@sackettfamily46857 ай бұрын
All of our fights have been over and through texts. It works great for 2 quiet introverts! We get to the root issue quicker than in person.😊
@Snowboarding20207 ай бұрын
That's why I left a comment box in the kitchen. I'll get to them at the end of the month.
@sometimesising10167 ай бұрын
He's annoyed when she wants to reconnect? She's drowning as a single parent. Sounds like he just wants a maid and occasional sex partner whenever he waltzes in from his adventures. John didnt ask him enough about what he's doing as a husband and father. Or if he's having an affair being away so much
@0104blackpearl7 ай бұрын
She’s overwhelmed! Have some empathy & change your tone. Step up as a husband and father! It amazes me that men like to have such big opinions when they are barely around. A woman treats you how you treat her!
@1102efc7 ай бұрын
Very insightful comments section. There is a lot more to this callers story that viewers are picking up on.
@julialopez-sb8mz7 ай бұрын
Sounds like she's mad about something really deep within her, might be because the husband is away alot.
@judybaker31967 ай бұрын
Maybe it’s because he cringes when he’s around her.
@cindystuder90907 ай бұрын
She feels that contempt. He thinks she doesn't notice but she does. I guarantee you if she doesn't hear what he's saying on a car ride it's because she's worrying about what he thinks about her. He's never home and he acts like he hates her and to her she probabaly thinks he's found someone else. That's just how women can feel when their husband's are never home and then when they are they can't hide their contempt. Then I imagine he snaps at her in public in front of strangers which makes her feel even worse about their relationship. So he notices her being mean to strangers while he sees nothing wrong with saying things at her in front of those same people. She's frazzled with a 3 year old while he lives like they don't exist for the most part.
@V1CT0RY7 ай бұрын
If he doesn’t like his wife, who else is he liking?!?!! Should have asked him that question lol
@whoiamhowilive27464 ай бұрын
I agree
@ShaMarie1629Ай бұрын
True. Sounds like he’s working around what the real issue/situation is instead of pointing out her flaws! She’s tapped out from trying to connect with him.
@teenindustry7 ай бұрын
Gee a baby in Covid and a husband who is away all the time. It doesn’t sound stressful at all…
@jennyberger66887 ай бұрын
Oh honey, this was me. And my husband is the same way. We’ve been married a decade and he went to alcohol for a few years to deal with it and then I realized my marriage was worth more. Have you told her any of these feelings. She’s emotionally snappy because she either doesn’t have a Community or she misses you and doesn’t think she matters.
@amandanightstar8012Ай бұрын
She's snappy because she is a married single mother and she has checked out of the marriage it is so obvious
@rubyewiggins49267 ай бұрын
Why couldn't you download the museum thing? And he's thinking about cheating and trying to justify it in advance
@hollyclark6907 ай бұрын
So obvious
@p.10145 ай бұрын
Yep. And 100% she does everything. He doesn’t want to be home because he doesn’t want the responsibilities.
@ShaMarie1629Ай бұрын
Absolutely! Spot on!
@breannanorthrup54985 ай бұрын
She doesn’t like him. She loves him and wants to put forth the effort to like him again but he can’t tell the difference because he’s not trying.
@belinda34025 ай бұрын
The vast majority of the comments on the full video are spot on! Take a moment to watch the full version then read the comments…John missed the mark on this one, but his audience came through with flying colors!! Anyone who has walked in similar shoes of this wife will have recognized the situation immediately!!!
@missladyrazz6 ай бұрын
I can guarantee that there is a huge lack of intimacy and connection, and that's why she's lashing out . She feels the rejection and disconnect since he's always gone . He's definitely not being 100% honest and shifting the blame all on her. I know this story to well . Smh
@blazer47567 ай бұрын
His advice here misses the mark so badly. First of all the wife likely has undiagnosed and untreated ADHD which can manifest in not paying attention as well as impulse control issues and angry outbursts. This poor woman is at home alone with a young child half of the time while her husband is traveling and the other half of the time she is desperately trying to connect with and please her husband. John is giving advice on how the husband can dump more things on her to worry about and fix rather than encouraging him to have some patience and understanding. She likely needs medication and/or therapy for ADHD and probably more help at home to manage life while her husband is traveling!
@harpazoseason7 ай бұрын
❤ agree.
@louestafalkowski76267 ай бұрын
I agree to some extent. It took someone to bring to my attention my behavior before I even THOUGHT about having ADHD. I'm glad my loved one said something so that I could work on me, and in turn, work with my husband on our relationship.
@Mikehighlyfavored7 ай бұрын
John to me hits %30 of the time
@aarondavid58667 ай бұрын
omg how about your misdiagnosis idiot. adhd haha so pathetic thats an excuse and bs
@aarondavid58667 ай бұрын
Ya ppl everyone who doesnt listen is rude and gets defensive is adhd. stfu
@juanitapoynter14227 ай бұрын
Hmm sorry but I hear , wife home alone with toddler doing everything with no support while husbands away . Husband comes home and is wondering why thing aren't all about him and wife is cranky and stressed and probably suffering from some kind of depression . Knowing she's about to be judged and her husband doesn't like her . Ffs talk to the poor woman with empathy and don't make it all about what you need . I think she needs something from you more like .
@helms5hieldmaiden2 ай бұрын
He even said it was her child
@iamlakesivad46755 ай бұрын
The more I listen the more I wonder what may have happened. It could him being gone all of the time and yes it’s work but was he giving? Did he acknowledge her while he was away? Especially if they have children.
@itme72977 ай бұрын
I wish John asked if there's someone else in mind at the moment, sometimes that's the catalyst for someone getting help when their mind and eyes start to "wonder"
@ke95397 ай бұрын
I was thinking the same thing. How does he know she likes him? Maybe she says she does. I think he is looking for an excuse.
@amandabloom31396 ай бұрын
Wander. Not wonder.
@itme72976 ай бұрын
@@amandabloom3139 ohh thanks for the correction!
@robinharris42477 ай бұрын
I used to say to my ex husband "I have no doubt you love me but I don't think you like me very much"
@snobbishruk7517 ай бұрын
It explains why he’s your ex.
@iamjessie.b7 ай бұрын
When I said these words to the guy I was dating that’s when I knew it was time to let it go. “I don’t think you like me” that hurt to say out loud to him
@lela8887 ай бұрын
It must have been something you were doing to why he doesn’t like you
@claudiobeachball7 ай бұрын
@@lela888not necessarily. Just because someone treats you with disdain doesn’t mean you deserved it.
@marya38237 ай бұрын
@@iamjessie.bI get it. Sometimes a person will be with you to get benefits. Seggs, money, place to stay, and even just not to be alone., but they don’t like you or you’re just not “the one”. You deserve someone who likes and loves you. To all those who will listen, taking seggs off the table really helps to see things more clearly.
@DeoVolenteMedia5 ай бұрын
My husband traveled for work almost every week for 2-4 days the first half of our marriage. It wasn't so bad before we had kids, but once we did, it was completely chaotic and overwhelming in every way. That was with my parent's helping me with the kids as much as they could when he was gone. Every week was an adjustment to him leaving, getting into a routine, being both mommy and daddy, just when you get into a bearable rhythm, not a good one just doable, he'd be back and throw a wrench in the whole thing. We all had to adjust and it was hard, worst than when he would go, the kids would act out horribly, just so much confusion. We would get I to the swing of things, and then again, have to revert back once he was gone again. I was a mess, the kids were a mess. Every week was something to be endured and just get thru, as opposed to something to be experienced and lived to the fullest. I went into survival mode, he did not. There was a huge disconnect. Thankfully, my husband is a wonderful man and pushed harder for a raise so we could hire some help around the house, just to give me a break. Honestly, in hind sight, I think just his understanding and compassion on me was what really helped, not so much the hired help, although that was nice. I definitely felt like I didn't have to just endure all the time. I was and still am thankful for his job, although it definitely was a love hate relationship. He stopped traveling for a living and started working from home after that, and boy was that whole another adjustment! But, I love having him here with us rather than on the road all the time. Much easier on our family dynamics, and not feeling like a parttime single parent. It was so stressful on me and the kids. My husband understood that, and how hard and sometimes damaging that really was. That was the biggest piece for us being able to connect again, as he specifically sought out a career where he wouldn't have to travel so much because of me and the kids. I would say, what this man is feeling or not liking about his wife is just a small percentage of the torment she is going through. He needs to seek to understand first before casting judgment.
@mikehallrealestate7 ай бұрын
Once you allow resentment and contempt into your marriage, you’re in big trouble. Every relationship has this temptation. The tempting door to resentment is always present, both parties need to choose to not walk through it by being bravely honest.
@MasEnFilm7 ай бұрын
I just broke up with my boyfriend, because i knew he doesn't like me anymore. I'm the one who said that it's over between us, he doesn't say anything, he doesn't deny it. It hurts, but i don't wanna hurt myself more, and i don't wanna spend my time with a person who doesn't like me. And if my husband said he doesn't like me, man i better leave.
@karaa75957 ай бұрын
You did the right thing and I know it hurts but one man's trash is another man's treasure. Don't make the same mistake twice.
@LadyEpileptic5 ай бұрын
You are wise! Be very careful of who you marry. And never forget who you are and know your worth. It doesn’t matter if you’re ex didn’t know it.. you do and you know what he came close to having but he’s stupid. You deserve to be loved and you are smart enough to know when you’re getting less than what you deserve
@spac3piixii3925 ай бұрын
Good I know it hurts, but it’s better to get out of a loveless relationship than to stay in it for pity
@kazzana90135 ай бұрын
Oops! the good doctor so missed the mark on this. His wife is essentially a single mom and he comes home occasionally and makes the home a stressful place. This guy is a shallow jerk.
@RayF61267 ай бұрын
This guy doesn't deal with this an adult because of his job but allows his son to be exposed to these behaviors. Her entire life changes when he is home, he doesn't talk about daily things once in this call, he mentions going to a museum, dealing with others outside the home, it's always something different and special when he's home as far as is mentioned. That can be exhausting...
@angelade41067 ай бұрын
Wow , cant imagine how it would feel if husband doesnt talk to her and she finds this . 😮
@zarghonakhan44507 ай бұрын
he is not telling u the entire story! he is on to something! he has an eye on another woman n trying to get out of his marriage! she is frustrated bcz she is not getting any affection n love from him so she feels frestrated n probly depressed so sad! now that he is a pilot he might have already cheated on her n doesnt like her anymore!!!
@megscott2227 ай бұрын
Marriage takes a lot of forgiveness and effort. So she's not perfect, I guarantee that he isn't either. The lashing out at strangers is unacceptable and embarrassing for sure and I would gently make sure that she knows that. You're both going to have to really develop your conflict resolution and teamwork skills if you want to stay married. And...if you don't even love her then you may as well call it off now and stop wasting time. The honeymoon phase doesn't last long so love and maturity make all the difference.
@julielitsinger6317 ай бұрын
Severe sleep deprivation from raising little kids that NEVER sleep can cause a lot of this. I speak from experience!
@blazingteal84305 ай бұрын
@3:39 this caller just described hormone imbalance. Messed up short term memory and agitation are signs of health issues. I bet she is in the postpartum window
@phylliscronin87897 ай бұрын
Hey guys, the lady has ADHD. You don't know it, she doesn't know it, so it's untreated. Get her the help she needs and things could be totally different. Can't believe you didn't pick up on this John.
@anneshirley95607 ай бұрын
Kinda sounds like, still no excuse to berate others or not listen to your partner.
@flashthecorgi20537 ай бұрын
He most likely did. I’ve heard that he’s stopped putting labels on thing as much as looking at the behaviors and treating those symptoms. Delony has adhd but he doesn’t treat people with disrespect, nor does he not listen to his wife! It’s not an excuse for her behavior so that’s probably why John didn’t label it that because then that’s just giving her a pass to her unacceptable behavior.
@Nikki-ks6wi7 ай бұрын
John has ADHD so makes sense he didn’t notice it wish someone in production would mention it to him while on the call
@flashthecorgi20537 ай бұрын
@@Nikki-ks6wi Like I said he mentioned he has cut back on suggesting diagnosis because in some ways it can give the callers wife a pass for her unacceptable behavior.
@HBCSChannel7 ай бұрын
He's a fake doctor booby that makes money off of giving advice to desperate people although he's untrained
@judybaker31967 ай бұрын
She probably doesn’t like you either.
@NikBeez7 ай бұрын
Spot on. My husband and I have been married 29 years and we are having this super beautiful season now but at year 7-8 we had the hardest time. We actually got our selves into counseling with a wonderful older couple at our church for two years that helped us turn it all around. Work on it together it will be worth it.
@K_M.G7 ай бұрын
I hope she sees this video and recognizes his voice and divorces him. She deserves better. 💖
@rd24life7 ай бұрын
Yeah, the caller is extremely unlikable. He sounds like a jerk
@francestaylor91567 ай бұрын
Wishing divorce on people is evil.
@K_M.G7 ай бұрын
@@francestaylor9156 And wishing ppl stay in an unhappy marriage isn't?
@diplomatdiplomat28007 ай бұрын
@@francestaylor9156What is more evil than a man that hates his wife and cringes when asked to go for dinner dates?
@istillbetalkin7 ай бұрын
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
@joeriveracomedy7 ай бұрын
She either has hearing or memory issues. She could be president.
@claudiagirl32536 ай бұрын
🤣
@destructodanie5 ай бұрын
This just sounds like he's expecting her to raise his kids, care for his house, care for him and do everything he wants and remember everyt he says. Leave this cπnty man.
@JPanettieri7 ай бұрын
I'm gonna go ahead and say that this guy does not love or like his wife. He finds her personality annoying and repulsive, to the extent that he loves her, he probably loves things she does for him, like raise his kid.
@joygernautm66417 ай бұрын
What I’ve noticed, is that people often fall in love, and get married to someone and the very things that they thought were endearing and charming in the beginning, end up being the things that they hate later on. Maybe this is a narcissistic trait, but I’ve had this happen in several relationships. “ I love that you are so driven an independent it’s very sexy!” And a year later they’re like “I don’t like that you don’t need me. I don’t like that you make more money than me”. It’s like they build you up to tear you down.
@RepentImmediately7 ай бұрын
I've heard a theory that some people are initially attracted to people who have traits that they themselves don't have and then they start to resent that person because they have traits that they themselves don't have
@ektaaasar6 ай бұрын
@@RepentImmediatelyhmmm makes sense why they hate them later..it's their own inadequacy they don't want to work on & put the resentment factor on other person.
@nicholasnagy28486 ай бұрын
This is one where I would like to hear the wife's side.
@esmith68157 ай бұрын
Sounds like my husband with ADD. It's hard work daily
@littletiddkid7 ай бұрын
First thing I thought!
@CaToRi-7 ай бұрын
The same happened to me for years, we almost separated… then the doctor found out it was ADD inattentive. So now, when I talk to him I don’t do it in a casual way as I do with other people. I just make him to stop doing whatever he is doing and then talk, so in that way, I’m sure he is only doing one thing at a time.
@littletiddkid7 ай бұрын
I replied above about this. Many people have no idea they have it.
@forkyfork7 ай бұрын
Honestly a lot of people could benefit from this advice of "just stop what you're doing and listen". I make my husband turn off the TV when I have something important to tell him.
@shachede68287 ай бұрын
Does you adhd make you shout at strangers and be rude to them. Especially customer representatives and people in service industry? Now I’m curious.
@phylliscronin87897 ай бұрын
@@shachede6828yes
@joannaa.51017 ай бұрын
@@shachede6828 why does Arabian Nights come to mind when I look at the letters of your name. The wife in question is obviously stressed and feeling pressure to have her husband proud of her. Remember she is a single parent and wants her husband happy when he is home. He is around perfectly dressed women who smell wonderful, smile his way and look like a million bucks.
@LillyAnnHouston5 ай бұрын
I wish we could hear her side. Sounds like she has so much responsibility.
@cmwHisArtist7 ай бұрын
If he loves her, then what he’s disliking is her ACTIONS. That’s much easier to say, and to fix. God can help reveal the issue if you’re a believer and try praying about it. I was pretty obnoxious before I started trusting in God and he showed me my wrong reactions. Also, my husband and I went to a therapist once that taught us “reflective listening”, where we got in the habit of asking each other what they thought we just said. It makes us realize how much we don’t pay attention, and also how we tend to interpret things according to how we were treated when we were younger. If he was in the military, he learned darn well to listen to every thing his officer said, because people could die. Many times we will flip out if that was what we observed as a child. I’m not excusing it, just saying people can learn a different way . If they want to.
@sarahalderman31267 ай бұрын
How much you want to bet this guy has totally let everything in their relationship go. Hasn't made even the slightest attempt to pursue her or even do the bare minimum in marriage. It is usually this period of time when the husband begins to second guess his choice due to the fact she's checked out. Either way this guy just sounds like he wants to cheat.
@arko9867 ай бұрын
Pursue her?? Are you sane? THEY ARE MARRIED, what does a man need to do for you to be enough? Take the stars off the sky until death sets you apart? C'mon. Anyway... in this case probably this guy also needs a change but this comment is why some ladies are called Karen.
@sarahalderman31267 ай бұрын
@@arko986 yes. I sure hope you're not married hun. Have you ever heard the saying that when you stop pursuing each other it is the beginning of the end? Did you not listen to what the man said in his call? Just from his examples you can tell pretty easily that he isn't in it with his wife. He talks a lot about going out, museums, special outings etc and nothing at all about the day to day realities of a life with children and a family. Nothing about bedtime routines, helping around the house, activities he does with the kids solo, anything special he's done for his wife, or literally anything that wasn't about just him. How exactly do you think one keeps the romantic/intimate nature of a marriage "alive" without the pair continuing to date and pursue each other? She is clearly doing so despite his lack of effort towards the marriage. He called... and he did not mention a single thing he has done to help his marriage. Aside from calling this show anyway.
@arko9867 ай бұрын
@@sarahalderman3126 I agree with everything you said on this message, I just think word pursue might not be the right one here, its as you never committed, as you never allowed your partner in, acknowledge him.... basically what marriage should represent. I wouldn't even reply to your comment if you mentioned from the start that they BOTH stopped pursuing each other. Then that word wouldn't matter as much as it applies to both whatever it is. If you are saying they both gave up here as it seems I would agree with you.
@Super1NER7 ай бұрын
Dr. John, I am extremely disappointed by how you did not address his consistent lack of participation (job related) in his marriage and family. I feel this a large component to his wife's behavior. Additionally, the caller never mentions his own actions or behavior (or lack thereof) in the marriage. His actions/behaviors could be the foundation for the actions/behaviors of his wife. I'm not taking accountability away from the wife and her behavior or actions. She, of course, is responsible for what she chooses to do or how to behave. However, I feel this whole "I'm just an innocent bystander" stance in my dysfunctional marriage that is taken by the caller is total selfish, non-accountability bs.
@freedomdance77 ай бұрын
A disconnected husband, he is not used to coexistence with a realistic, exhausted, tired, almost single mother. Why? Because he hangs out mostly with men who are neither emotional nor sensitive, nor tired, nor looking for emotional support and closeness. Of course he doesn't love her and like her because he's not close with her. He did not develop closeness and understanding. Also, he can't accept her human flaws and he won't be able to do that with any woman. He has been in the army for too long, and has communicated mostly with men for too long, and he doesn't have the courage to talk to her honestly. Why? He has not developed and cannot develop that level of closeness in marriage.