I'm Actually Autistic: My Adult Autism Diagnosis Journey & How It Has Impacted My Life

[@thechaostrials1964]

59 YO. Recently diagnosed. An ex diagnosed me years ago, and, like you, I was militantly resistant. She was right all along. The diagnosis of ASD/ADHD explains so much and comes with a bittersweet cocktail of feelings, from anger, to sadness to depression to relief. My life would have been so much easier, or not, had I know this all along. So many misstep could have been avoided. Who knows. You are one of the few Autism content creators I trust and respect. I find you very funny and relatable. When you revealed what your second-opinion said to you about always being autistic, I cried along with you. So, thank you for being you.

[@karenholmes6565]

There are several autistic creators worthy of respect. Autistic AF, Autism from the Inside, Autisticmatic, That Autistic Guy, all really good creators that are very respect worthy.

[@justinwebb3117]

I got my diagnosis of autism this week. Shocked? Yes and no. Cry? Oooh, yup. I'm nearly 50. I can now work on the rest of my days with the right tools and approaches. I thought I was broken. But I'm not. Just built differently.

[@HappyHoney41]

@@justinwebb3117 It can take a while to adjust. but so wonderful to be able to cut yourself some slack for your past struggles.

[@Portia620]

Sending love and light! Still trying to figure out why I’m such an outlier

[@AmandaFisher-b7f]

@@karenholmes6565 I have seen some videos from those creators as well! They are very good as well. ☺️

[@HappyHoney41]

I was apparently diagnosed as a kid (I'm 61). I was not ever told. Burned out at 58. Retired at 59. I was 60 when I figured it out. Thank you for sharing.

[@mele7410]

How did you discover you were diagnosed as a kid? :< That's terrible no one told you

[@serenarobak3640]

O M G

[@thechaostrials1964]

Our story is similar.

[@春暖花開-c9l]

I'm wondering what the difference will make you know vs. you don't know you're on the Spectrum?

[@novastariha8043]

@@春暖花開-c9l I know for myself knowing WTF was root of my difficulties huge difficulty that others did not experience….at old age of 58 diagnosed well it was huge RELIEF.

[@samesultani9191]

Thank you, sir. You sound like my twin. At this moment, no one is believing me. My parents, my wife, my siblings.

[@ChrisandDebby]

I believe you.

[@tuvoca825]

You, as someone autistic human being, can get caretaker burnout trying to constantly adapt to neurotypicals... so do what you can to take the breaks you need. Try not to crash too hard or too often... budget what you can do and have to do. Spend some brief time other people with autism who understand... even if their version is different, they might understand because it comes from the same menu of autism traits and because they at least watch these videos. They might fill your social needs enough but not be as taxing. They say that the communication problems get a lot better when you communicate with people who are living in autism and understand. Improve your health. Remember to get enough space and the right amount of the right types of social interaction... this can come from interaction with a combination of autistics, therapists, neurotypicals as the budget allows, animals, nature, etc... whatever works and makes you feel happy. Don't neglect your special interests that are healthy, but also explore outside your comfort zone. And don't forget to manage your immune system and awareness of your stress levels. Find ways to exercise the empathy inside you to cultivate and protect your innocense. This helps and is a form of self defense. Forgive but don't enable abuse by letting people keep hurting you. Like not being mad at an alligator for biting you... because thwy are alligators we can fogive without outting our head back in their mouth... if we know weaknesses of neurotypucals who abuse us we can drop our hard feelings against them... because we need that... BUT we don't let them be tempted to keep doing that so we budget our time with some of them and even hang up and try again later... letting them know they aren't ghosted but we will come back when we are ready to see if they are ready too yet. Some take a while but taking too long to work social things out makes it harder to do sometimes. But doing it too early can make it worse if all people involved are not ready to do that. Sometimes forgiving has to be unilateral. Sometimes it is like pulling out a bunch of splinters only to find them working out of the wound again... but if you keep pulling the splinters out and don't get a lot of new ones, they can eventually stop coming as often and then one day they come rarely or not at all just by persistence. Stay sane and happy. Because the incompatibilities with neutotypicals can be very challenging. And some of them have different goals and motivations we don't see that can change.

[@rkgomes3875]

You made me cry. It was like you were explaining my life to the “T”. I am so deeply grateful for your honesty, visibility and candor. I was diagnosed at 44, just two weeks ago!

[@andrewholding1625]

I'm 44 and about to go down this path. Basically burnout and finding masking harder led me to notice the symptoms. I didn't know that masking was a thing but I now it seems I started to do it in pre-school - been hiding ever since. I'm nervous but so very keen to understand how I can handle it better.

[@Jimbo5900]

it's 'to a tee' just fyi

[@Queenread82]

Now that you have had some time how are you doing? I found my ADHD diagnosis a huge relief - also grief because of lost time & opportunities and frustration about the reception I received about my diagnosis. Blah blah blah ANYWAY how are you doing?

[@dessny9376]

Covid gave me the opposite experience. Finally I was able to stay home and not be expected to be social and mask for the public all the time. I could even worry less about my facial expressions because I was able to cover my face w an actual mask rather than create one from the inside. It took my suspicion of autism to the next level, seeing how much less burned out I became. I finally got verification that it’s not ADHD alone, but also Autism about 2 weeks ago, also at the age of 41!

[@allieluvzyuhh]

People should STILL be wearing masks.

[@hagbard1983]

Same!

[@BPLdenver]

agreed. the shutdown was fantastic for me (aside from the financial stress while the gov't fumbled around for self-employed folks). I was able to spend most of my day outside in the yard or walking my dog around town. Avoiding ppl was what we were all supposed to be doing, so no masking. I was fortunate enough to have a decent grocery store within walking distance, so I could do a lot of cooking healthy meals. I have a workout space in the garage, and was doing weight training, hitting the heavy bag, or running miles every day. I also had so much time to listen to science podcasts, which is my special interest. I miss those days. I returned to work 15 pounds lighter, much stronger, and patients kept commenting on my significant watch tan :)

[@vickiamundsen2933]

@@allieluvzyuhh oh, I am still masking.

[@tylerwill5250]

No we shouldn’t be still masking….you like breathing in c02?? Not very healthy

[@Catlily5]

I rejected autism in 2006. My counselor thought that I had it. I rejected having autism because as an adult woman the 5 books I read on autism didn't fit me very well. The neuropsych psychologist said I didn't have autism either. She mentioned that I could have had autism as a child but I no longer had it as an adult. She diagnosed me as having ADHD with some autistic traits. (At that time you could be diagnosed with Autism OR ADHD but not with both.) I had a lot of other psychiatric diagnoses so I forgot about autism for over 10 years. Then my case manager thought that I had autism about a year before Covid. I was not impressed but she kept nagging me and she had formerly helped do autism assessments so I listened. She suggested that I watch KZbin videos on autism. Watching women diagnosed with autism convinced me. Then I wanted an autism diagnosis. I got diagnosed at age 47 with autism level 2. I think that being a woman and having ADHD, PTSD and bipolar disorder hid the autism from most of the mental health professionals. They were looking at me through a mental health lens. That was not completely incorrect but it hid the autism.

[@ChrisandDebby]

It’s interesting to read your story - thanks for sharing that! Even the evolution of ideas (had it as a child but not as an adult) have come so far since 2006. It sometimes feels frustrating that they didn’t know better back then, but I suppose this is always how new discoveries are made and new understandings in medicine and science. But it sounds like it’s helped you to understand more now with your diagnosis? For me, it’s been helpful but I’m still learning how deeply rooted all those years of masking and misunderstanding myself based on societal expectations and not knowing there was something “different” really goes. Thanks for being part of this though - I really enjoy reading your comments! It’s nice knowing I’m not alone in figuring this out as an adult too.

[@Catlily5]

@@ChrisandDebby Thanks! The biggest thing so far (I was diagnosed 11 months ago) is less self hatred. I was very hard on myself for not handling my problems and everyday activities better. The diagnosis explains why I am having trouble functioning. So since I am not internally berating myself nearly as much that helps me stay more stable mentally.

[@SarahDale111]

My bipolar disorder went away when I switched to a carnivore diet 6 years ago. I'd tried all the awful meds for many many years, but nothing stabilized me like cutting out the carbs has. And once my mental and mood issues cleared up, I figured out that I'm actually autistic. I'm 48 and considering pursuing a proper diagnosis.

[@bethboyd5991]

I have ADHD and I went on the carnivore diet after suffering through shingles. My ADHD symptoms have gotten so much less since being on a carnivore diet. My stomach issues have improved greatly! e​@@SarahDale111

[@christinelamb1167]

@@Catlily5 This has been the biggest thing for me too, after being diagnsed autistic 4 months ago, at age 60. I've struggled SO MUCH my entire life, and I was always so hard on myself because of it. I couldn't understand why I had so much difficulty with "daily life things" that everyone else seemed to to without even thinking about it. Why couldn't I just get myself together, and just stop being so sensitive?! I saw myself as a huge failure, at life, at everything. Things are still hard, but I am giving myself more grace now, and trying to find ways to accomodate myself so I can feel more comfortable in life. I now know there's nothing WRONG with me, and I don't force myself to do things because I feel I SHOULD be able to do them.

[@planetag310]

I'm 67 and suspect "that I'm autistic, but not sure I want to spend $5,000-$7,000 to get diagnosed here in L.A.

[@solunasassoon]

It took me a lot of research but here in Houston I finally found an autism specialist in my insurance plan. I mean I spent over 7 years trying and struggling. I just was self identified until then and moved on with my life as if I was diagnosed while never stopping looking first the diagnosis. Fact is being older is very difficult to get the diagnosis, which is why I’ve found being self identified is good enough for most communities. I finally did get my diagnosis this year, and I only kept going for the future when I may need assistance that would require the official diagnosis. If you’re working find out if there’s an employee resource group for neurodivergent people and ask them where they suggest going. In the meantime I’ve never had a single person doubt me when I just said “I’m autistic “ because as older adults it’s well known if you were not severely affected by autism and a boy as a child, you were overlooked.

[@karenholmes6565]

I am 56 and live in California. I just received my diagnosis 2 weeks ago. I accessed a diagnosis without any out of pocket costs by contacting an organization that helps adults with developmental disorders. They scheduled and paid for my assessment. I was referred to them by the county mental health resource center. I called this center because I did not want to see another therapist without an autism diagnosis. They gave me the number of the organization that helped me access the diagnosis. I did search and I found this page for you. It is a resource page for adults with developmental disabilities and if you call one of these numbers they can shepherd you through the process. They will not think it is weird that you are asking or help. Right now there is a huge swell of older people seeking assessments. They missed us and they are trying to make up for it. I did not want to put the entire link in this comment because the comment won't post with a link so I am going to post it by breaking it up aces-la. org/ developmental-disability-resources /

[@user-gr7jo9qb3l]

I used a telehealth place out of FL, $950

[@hrdcpy]

Yesterday I got an estimate for 10-15 hours @ $150/hr. Unfortunately it seems like small clinics that do it only accept cash.

[@debvandusen3623]

Same age here. Just figured this out last week. There are tests online you can take. And retake.

[@Izzi-n5t]

Hi Chris, i am late to the party it i just wanted to say thank you for sharing so openly. I am 48 and was diagnosed at 38 after one of my children died. Up until then I had masked my whole life after being told in 1989 I couldn’t be autistic or adhd because I was a girl with middle class parents. Please continue to share, you have a great way of communicating, it is truly appreciated by those of us who can’t string a coherent sentence together in real life.

[@lisas842]

I am sorry to read that your child died.

[@Izzi-n5t]

@@lisas842 thank you x all my remaining five children are asd and probably adhd, so important for us all to try and prevent our kids having the same experience of life as us. Truly grateful to all those influencers that share so openly what life is like for us who can’t. They do an amazing job

[@dn3305]

I cried. I just cried. Inwards, of course - because crying outside is not "accepted". What would everyone think of me? Me - the person struggling with what others think of me my whole life, the person who struggles with the "easiest" and "normal" things in life. The person with "too many und much emotions and thoughts", the person who "could have such a great life if I would just not be that lazy", the one who can't hold a job because "I am not made for working", the person who now is a great mother but can't get anything else done than being a mother and needs breaks to not break. I cried and I will cry because I felt you, it hurt. Thank you for your effort, for your words, for your honesty. Thank you, Debby for being on his side so strong and thoughtful, so loving and accepting. This is rare. That's what I wished for and pray that at least I will get to be the one caring for me like this. Thank you both!

[@Introvertierchen]

I just started crying. I can empathise with you so well, this is me. I can still hear my husband saying, you always have something. Coughs that last forever, lots of unexplained stomach aches in my childhood and constant colds. Migraine attacks in changing weather, headaches from strong smells. Skin problems, sleep disorders, constantly having to go to the toilet. Chronic back pain that I'm slowly getting to grip with after running from doctor to doctor for ages. the list goes on and on. The feeling of never really belonging. I hid in my wardrobe or later arranged my room so that I had a shielded, protected area. So yeah thank you so much for this, i now it must have been so hard, but you make me/us feel less alone maybe for the first time in our live.

[@ChrisandDebby]

Wow. I just read your comment and then read it to my wife Debby. Sometimes I tell her I’m not sure if I can make these videos because it’s opening my life to the world and that’s really hard for me. But then I read comments like yours and I can keep doing it. ❤️

[@Introvertierchen]

@@ChrisandDebby I am so grateful that you do this. Just thinking about talking to my husband about my feelings makes my body go completely crazy. I start shaking, I get dizzy, nauseous, hot and cold and I can't get a word out. This is a constantly discussed problem with my psychologist. So I can imagine the panic of being so open here. So thank you from the bottom of my heart. ❤️

[@somuchtoknow1950]

@@ChrisandDebby Wow, Chris, to see that as of 4 days ago that you are still struggling with not being sure about making these videos -- that hit me hard, because your videos are helping me so much as I adjust to this recent knowledge about myself that makes my whole life make sense for the first time in 74 years. I want you to know that most days, I use your videos as a treat after I accomplish something that's difficult for me, like setting up a surveyor for our property. I'm sad to find out it's so hard for you, but I understand a little why that would be so, after watching what you went through -- it was gutting, and brought tears to my eyes. But please know how valuable this work is...

[@ChrisandDebby]

@@somuchtoknow1950 Thank you so much for this comment. It is so flattering to hear what you said that I don't even know how to respond. That's so awesome that this channel is a treat for you. Struggle or no struggle - now I'll for SURE have to keep making these !! But in all honesty, the hard part is that I'm a very private person overall, but when I was first learning about my autism, I couldn't find many resources for myself. So my hope was that by sharing more, it'll help other people not feel as alone and confused as I did at first. But now to read this - it really makes my heart so happy ❤ thank you so so much - you have no idea what this means to me. And thank YOU for being here for me too

[@seaglasscolor]

You are generous to share your story with us. You will undoubtedly help many people to figure out if they are autistic, and if so, to embrace it. We all have gifts and talents to share.

[@christineE9301]

Thank you for telling your story. I really appreciative the upbeat way that you approach this. I am undiagnosed but have come to accept that I am likely autistic following months of my diagnosed son telling me, "mom, I think you're autistic, I don't think it skipped a generation." I don't have issues with making eye contact, but there are so many other things I struggle with that it helps me understand why I struggle with some of the things I do, and stop beating myself up over the things I struggle with.

[@abmrose]

Saying that a 7 yr old will probably go to jail one day is just completely inappropriate. That’s a sign that the teacher as issues, not the kid. I’m sorry you went through that.

[@22Skeptic]

Thank you, Chris. I was diagnosed just over a year ago at the age of 45. I relate to so many parts of your story. I really appreciate you sharing it with the world. It helps me knowing there’s someone else that’s walked a similar path as I have. Your channel(and others like yours) make me feel less alone on this journey.

[@wesshirlaw8716]

I feel you mate I was also diagnosed at 45 last year, keep your chin up and make life fit you brother ❤

[@Billybobcan]

After a few marriages, careers, and several therapists (who never figured it out) I finally figured it out when I made a friend who was also autistic. Now my life makes sense. I thought I was crazy but I was just suffering from ASD and ADHD at the same time.

[@naginiriddle7091]

I cried watching this. I related to way too much that I didn't expect to relate to. I am not diagnosed. About 2 years ago, I had a friend make an offhand remark about me being autistic. I thought he was just teasing/being mean. Then about 1.5 years ago, I was visiting my family and overheard my mom talking with my aunt about how she thought my little sister was autistic. I didn't think much of it. Then a year ago, I had a pretty bad anxiety attack/meltdown. My best friend helped me through it and then asked in a very serious and caring manner if I thought I could be bi-polar. Because of the manner in which he asked, I decided to look into it, and even thanked him for giving a suggestion. I researched bi-polar, but found myself only identifying with the depressive side and not the manic side. When I typed into google again, it automatically suggested "bi-polar vs autism." I found myself reading about autism and autism in females and relating a lot to what was being said. I decided to have a talk with my mom. I was scared to, but I needn't have been. The second I said "hey, remember when you were thinking my sister was autistic?" my mom took over the conversation and said, "I THINK WE ALL ARE." She proceeded to tell me about her journey in reading up on it, and that she even had a test I could take to start to get a feel for if I might have it. My mom scored as showing strong tendencies for autism, and so did my little sister. I scored a little lower than them, but it still suggested I was a good candidate for it. I had another sister who scored much much lower than all of us (which I expected she would because I knew how she would answer some of the questions), but still high enough that it said she had potential for it, too. I am here a year later, having been watching a lot of these kinds of videos and beginning to wonder if I should go for an official diagnosis. I'm struggling so much and I could really use the tools to help bring balance to my life. I'm hoping it comes sooner rather than later, but I know change will take time. Your videos are inspiring. Thank you.

[@chickensdontsurf]

I'm 47, female, worked full time since 1995, married, have a daughter.... and it has taken me a decade to accept my diagnosis. A few of your videos helped me accept it. 13 ways to know you aren't autistic, or some similar title, the way you structured that video and explained things, just the way you speak, it resonated and at the same time helped me be ok with it. I can't thank you enough for doing this channel, and this video in particular. Keep doing what you're doing, I know there are many of us out there, watching your videos, who are able to accept things and use the new mental health tools to improve our lives.... because these tools are very different from the tools used for the other diagnoses we have probably all gotten. Pushing ourselves out of a mood, instead of truly resting. That is a big one. Thank you!

[@tiffanylbacon]

I say this all the time! “It’s like my brain is too big and going to explode out of my skull!” Constant pressure!!!! So much so that my eyes feel like they are going to pop out of their sockets. I am currently in a meltdown. Completely overwhelmed burned out.

[@raclette4775]

From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for sharing your very painful story, Chris. It has moved me to tears, and not just because I recognize myself in it in so many ways. Your vulnerability and courage are so beautiful and your message is so helpful. Thank you. Thank you. And Debbie, your courage and love are so inspiring as well. This journey was just as difficult for you, though in different ways. I wish someone loved me that much! I am so happy you have one another!

[@edwardtaylor502]

Chris and his little buddy, that was just awesome! It really helps a lot and I'm very thankful for you being so honest and very, very brave! You are a wonderful person! 🎉

[@ChrisandDebby]

Thanks so much for this and for being part of my journey!!

[@katereed4764]

Thank you for sharing how difficult it has been for you to accept and move forward from your diagnosis. I suspect a lot of adults who have struggled all their lives tend to feel relief, so it is valuable to learn about your experience.

[@inesbustos8037]

As I was listened to your personal experience and after seeing you get emotional, I started to cry... "You've always been autistic" "you are still the same person"...gosh, that struck me. Thank you for sharing this ❤

[@brentmakes]

I came to my autism diagnosis from my partner, suggesting that I might be autistic. He was kind of kidding, kind of not. The pandemic pushed me over the edge, though. Suddenly I couldn’t understand people talking (because of the masks). I didn’t know that for me to understand people well I have to watch their lips move. I have incredible hearing, so it’s not that. Just for some reason if I can’t see someone’s mouth I find it harder to understand them. I watched a lot of videos where people were taking about their late diagnosis and learned that in the UK there is less stigma and more of a drive to get people diagnosed. It gave me hope, and so I mustered the courage and asked my doc if I could get evaluated. It took over a year from start to finish but my diagnosing physician said he knew I was autistic the moment he first talked to me on Zoom. I am so sorry that for you it was a traumatic experience. For me, I felt such relief. I had an answer as to why I was like I am. My partner has been an incredible help like Debby is to you. My best friend too has really stepped up and been there for me. I wish everyone had the support I do. Thank you for sharing your story and your light.

[@fooledman]

In '74 I endured horrible beatings from the teachers. They said all kinds of terrible things to me, and it wasn't until 3rd grade when it stopped. Then the fellow students picked that up which continued all the way through college. Then I got torn apart in my first job. It took trial and error with mostly error. I've managed to get by, but I'll have to get an official diagnosis. I'm currently 55 almost 56.

[@Eryniell]

there is alot of grief coming from realizing it was autism all along...having to pretty much reframe your whole life, realizing where you would have and should have gotten support all along, that things you have been struggled with whole life, persistently, suddenly having an explanation, but also acknowledgement. It is a relief on one side, from guilt about some things, that maybe you did indeed try the best you could...relief through understanding what has been going on...but grief for the life you thought you could be having, grief for missed or late opportunities to even grief that you could have struggled a little less, if you would have known. grief for possibly betrayal towards yourself... like i have been spending so much time and effort playing down my own sensory difficulties because of how much my reactions were dismissed and declared as overreactions...and similar stuff, that in the end I didn't even think I should use anything to block them out more for my own comfort, because I wanted to appear normal and because I thought I needed to "just get used to it" what happened though is that I was constantly tight, being always in fight/flight mode, had alot of brainfog and dissassociation trying to cope with too much sensory input. I regret that i chose to pretend as if those things didn't really bother me...because I was the only one paying the price for it, but I understand that i thought it was part of surviving where i felt missunderstood and unseen, to belong to "something", to not be pushed away.

[@g0stkid8_3]

I’m extremely interested to watch this one. I’m 41 right now, so many of your videos describe my life already. I understand now why I don’t fit in with anybody and why nobody understands me even though I try to explain myself until it physically hurts. When you talked about the kids not wanting tags on a shirt it flashed me back to arguments with my mom as a child about certain pairs of socks that I couldn’t wear because the stitching was insane and I wanted to cut my feet off. I’ve never heard anything that’s made me feel this understood in my entire life. Thank you for being so open to share this with us. I feel a lot less lost after watching these videos and reading the comments.

[@calebash82]

I was diagnosed at 41 as well. I knew there was something wrong and AdHD was not the whole picture. I did the ASD pre-screener from the APA and took it to a psychologist here in Australia. I eventually got a formal diagnosis. I was so scared of telling my partner and I relayed the story to him over one of our wine time evenings. I told him how I was scared to tell him and he simply said "sweetie, we've been together long enough. I always knew there was something different about you." And that was it. It didn't change our relationship in the slightest. Your story brought tears to my eyes because I experienced so much of it myself.

[@ladyriot9620]

My child never showed any obvious signs until age 10 when I realized something was just off, I felt she was struggling emotionally but it wasn't just sadness. Waiting on her appointment with the neuropsychologist (7 months) I did a lot of research. I have always read self-help type of books and I have a BAS in Psychology (and family/friends with various psychological disorders and such) and I suspected Aspergers. She was diagnosed with level 1 autistic and inattentive ADHD. I am obsessed with researching, reading books and searching KZbin for people just like you that can give me as much insight as to what she may be dealing with, things you struggled the most with and what you wished people could have done to help you and be supportive so that I can do as much as I can to prevent or lessen some of her struggles. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you opening, being vulnerable and honest about your life and the struggles you overcame as well as the guidance, tips and tricks to make things smoother that you cannot change. I am eager to watch more of your content and hopefully be able to incorporate some of your suggestions.

[@loner1295]

I feel like I’m drowning. I’m turning 47 and have been diagnosed with everything but autism. I would feel so much relief and closure with a proper diagnosis, but have spent so much time with doctors and no help that I have given up/ filled with doubt. Your Debby sounds like an angel! So glad she was there to help you through where I am now.

[@karenholmes6565]

I am 56. I was diagnosed with ASD1 two weeks ago. I think that if screening for ASD was the first step toward helping people with mental health issues, and autoimmune problems we would find out how common autism really is. I think it is massively underdiagnosed. I do not know why we are not screening all children for this issue because many of us hide it so very well. I started masking as soon as I went to school. There have been studies on the autistic traits of people who end their existences. They give the families of such people the assessments they give for initial screening for autism. Between 40 and 50% of people who succeed in taking their life were found to have enough autistic traits to merit going through the diagnostic process. I went through several periods in my life where I would just crash and I would feel sick. I was assessed for lupus and I thought autoimmune disease answered the question about why I felt sick all of the time and then I would recover. Autoimmune diseases is really common for autistics. One in 5 women has an autoimmune disease. I am not saying all of those with autoimmune disorders are also autistic, but any woman with autoimmune disorder should be screened for autism. Any woman with an ED should be screened for autism. It would lead to better health outcomes if all the missing autistic people got diagnosed.

[@briellerl034]

Im 20 now, I got diagnosed with Autism this January at 20. The way you explained everyone seeming to think you were a problem child, or just a person that needed to be fixed is so real. I was physically and emotionally abused my entire childhood for my “manipulative and bad behavior”, think ABA all day but up 1000% and physically abusive. My pediatrician thought I was a bad kid and a hypochondriac with my stomach and body issues, teachers begged my parents to medicate or homeschool me. I failed every class until I dropped out, I tried every medication, everything. I even left home and became homeless as a young teenager to get away from the pain and abuse of it all. But it kept following me, no matter where I went, I was still a failed and weird person. I eventually got a BPD Diagnosis that I immediately knew was a bit off, then years after I finally got my Autism diagnosis. You’re story touched me and I really do think for a lot of us, if we didn’t get that self realization or diagnosis of Autism, we wouldn’t be here.

[@ameliemalanina317]

I’m 16 and pretty sure I’m autistic. So much of what you say is like looking in a mirror especially the part about psychiatrists. It’s like they only care about quick fixes and not about what might actually be going on. Since my experience I’ve wanted to go into psychiatry (I already wanted to peruse medicine before this, a bit of a special interest) and hearing your story only wants me to peruse it more, so that the next person doesn’t have to deal with experiences like this. Thank you so much for sharing your story!

[@ChrisandDebby]

I hope you go into psychiatry!

[@abmrose]

Oh my gosh, Debby clearly loves you so much 😢😭

[@chantae13]

I got diagnosed with ASD a couple months ago. I'm 45 and will be 46 in May. This has been a very rough patch in my life and I'm hoping it gets better. I always knew I was weird ever since a kid, so I started this journey on my own 2 years ago. I've had similar things happen to me. I remember having a really rough time while in kindergarten and 1st grade. I was labeled a disruptive kid. As I got older and observed other kids and watching tv, I used what I saw and mimic others around me and was able to mask pretty good. It was so good that I learned how to mask up to 4 years. Meaning that I knew my threshold was that time frame and so I knew that once that period was up, I would start to "act different" (that is what people would say). So I was in the Marine Corps. I left after my 4 year term was up. My marriage only lasted 4 years. I've left jobs after 4 years as well. I didn't know or understand back then that I was masking or even know why I was so cursed after a certain point and would start to basically meltdown and shutdown. I've been at my current job for 7 years. So I knew that i was going to have to figure something out. I was scrolling through KZbin and just randomly in 2022, saw a video of a women with ASD and her husband has adhd and their kids are the same (I think, i don't really remember) I didn't think anything of it until she started describing symptoms and certain things that she would do. They were the same as things I do that I actually thought was normal. Long story short, it took from that moment in 2022 until now for me to get properly diagnosed. I did alot of research on my own. Took a medical test for autism as well as other things. And even after everything came back, the neurologist wasn't convince. I was also told that I could be bipolar, multiple personality, etc. I ended up going through the VA (Veterans Affairs) and started therapy. I was asked what felt like a million questions and after and hour of eternal questioning, I was giving the diagnosis of ASD, ADHD, and PTSD. I thank you for sharing your story and I'm hoping for brighter days ahead. I'm not there yet, but I hope soon.

[@t3hsis324]

Thank you so so much for sharing your story. I'm so glad you hung in there, and that Debbie has been so supportive through it. I see a lot of parallels, so it's so important we share our stories. I was misdiagnosed bipolar, put on various meds that made it worse, had a psychiatrist who vehemently denied it could be autism .. but a case manager who saw it and called it for what it was. The thing is a really close friend with a diagnosed autistic kid told me a few years before she thought I was on the spectrum, and to just 'hold that thought'. I still have people who want to argue with me it cannot be, and my experiences cannot be real. Sadly, it seems like my story isn't the only one where we were failed by those higher up. By sharing our stories it may make it easier for others like us accept the diagnosis... And figure out what's next.

[@Catlily5]

My case manager is the reason I am diagnosed with autism today. I got diagnosed last year at age 47. She kept on me to get diagnosed even though I was skeptical after being told I didn't have autism, just traits of it, in 2007.

[@t3hsis324]

@@Catlily5 that sounds SO familiar. It was actually a call from my father, where he stated that both he and my mother thought I was autistic that was the tipping point. That next day I called to book the appointment, and then I was like to the psychologist assessing 'I have multiple people stating they think I'm autistic, and I just really need to know if that's the case...' Don't get me wrong... It wasn't because I thought it'd be wrong, but I was convinced they would of caught it when I was much younger. Nope. Apparently I'm just one of many, as well...

[@Catlily5]

@@t3hsis324 When I was a child only the more severe forms of autism were caught. They knew I was not normal as a child. But I didn't have language delays. Social skills caused me to be delayed going to kindergarten. But that wasn't enough of a problem for an autism diagnosis back then.

[@luvmybears64]

My daughter was diagnosed at age 17. The doctor said the red flags were there since birth but no one understood them. Her teenage years were a nightmare- in much part because abuse we had no idea what was really wrong. I cry - for her, you, and all the families struggling for answers.

[@annelogston]

62 years old, diagnosed at 60. I had a very different experience than you. I was never lonely; in fact, I always preferred (and still do) solitude and pets. I was hyperlexic and reading text at 3 years old, so I simply buried myself in books and NEVER got in trouble. My mother, who in the 1960s believed I was just gifted and “awkward,” trained most of my more obvious stimming out of me, whereupon I picked up more stealthy stims like clicking my teeth, humming subvocally, and picking my lips constantly raw. I had frequent “panic attacks,” particularly in crowds, so much so that in high school and college I was excused from assembly and allowed to leave class five minutes early to get to my next class before the halls crowded up. Work was so wretched that the pandemic was, horribly, some of the best time of my life. When I was 60, the therapist I was seeing for my “panic attacks” suggested the autism testing. After some reading, I wasn’t surprised by the diagnosis, but it didn’t gain me much from the medical industry, as there is literally nobody in the state of Indiana specializing in low support adult autism, much less in women. Everything I’ve learned has been from my own research, including your channel. Thank you so much for putting your painful personal journey out there for us. It must be so hard to share that. Please rest assured that each video you post is a lifeline for people like me!❤

[@jokuster4223]

I am 59. Self diagnosed this summer. Currently in the process of being officially diagnosed. Confident one day and full of doubt and anxiety the other. Have not had a single good night of sleep for the last 8 years and recognize a lot of issues you mention. Thank you thank you thank you for putting this info out there. Helps a lot with the loneliness I always feel ❤

[@kevt6151]

I was 45 and was sent to a forensic psychiatrist for a court case that I had after breaching restricted orders. No violence or abuse I wrote letters hundreds of them and breached over 600 times in the end. The doctor I saw knew immediately and grabbed a test folder and I aced every question and according to him my times were top 2% he was amazed as was I. It delivered no excuses or special treatment but sure explained much of my life and my personality why people either love me or live to hate me...for being right. I just don't enter into topics of weakness and I eat up knowledge and retain it additionally see pattern in so many areas which does offer advantages...it is what it is!

[@xjenechii]

As an adult, I was (mis?)diagnosed as bipolar, then diagnosed ADHD, and it wasn’t until I was in my 30s that I started learning about ASD. I recently had a neuropsych eval and they said bipolar, GAD, something neurological, and that I needed to have an ASD assessment to rule it out. My results won’t be ready for a while, but I’m afraid of hearing them… ASD makes my entire life make sense, but what if they tell me I’m not? I’ll be lost and confused again. Nothing else checks all the boxes the way ASD does. Life is so tiring, and not understanding the “why” behind my experiences/behaviors makes it so much more… Confusing. Exhausting. Unbearable. Thank you for making these videos. I have never related to anyone more. Somehow, it is comforting to know I’m not alone in my experiences.

[@sylviestevenson2486]

I so appreciate your personal revelations. I'm 80, my brother turned 78 this May, and I believe he's on the autism scale (more the Asperberger's end though not with brilliance. more the neurodiversity aspect.) As an older sister, I felt estranged from my sweet brother who could not engage with me like I craved. In any event, I gave him a rough time and was dominating, mean and so sorry for my selfish behavior later on. But what did I know? We're products of the Cold War period, middle-class country kids living out of our parent's social element and family, and had no access to Kindergarten even, let alone pre-school. I was bright and very frustrated. My brother (whom I feel is autistic,) was very introverted and unsocial, but sweet-natured really. His life has not been anything extraordinary and now he's a senior with 5 yrs. into Parkinson's Disease. So on top of a lifetime of baffling non-typical behavior, we now have brain death and some new dysfunctions to deal with. fortunately, my sister has taken him into her retirement community, I believe he will thrive there and enjoy live perhaps as never before, and we don't have to worry. He's financially secure, etc., and will be taken care of with his neurodegenerative disease. I'm quite sure he will never be diagnosed and probably for now, that's that's last thing he needs, but for me, it explains a lot of his social anxieties, lack of achievement and very limited choices with his live, etc. I have to rest with all of it and try to love him as "my family", and extend myself in the best possible way to support both him and our sister for as long as he has to live. I;' at quite a distance, so it poses less of a problem. Only wish the knowledge had been there from the start so my parents could have helped me understand his "specialness" and acted more appropriately and with kindness.

[@HappyHoney41]

Please, let his carers know you suspect he might be on the spectrum. They may want to help adjust his physical suroundings in his personal living quaters; like softening lighting, keeping the temperature comfortable and providing him with the ability to reduce noise interruptions. He may like music, but only if he has control of it, etc. If he has some favorite activities/interests - perhaps he can still enjoy some aspects of those. We often are not allowed to focus on special interests we have; because we can tend to ignore everything else. What's the harm? I think they will help take great care of him, with family there to check on him.

[@sylviestevenson2486]

@@HappyHoney41 THanks for the very lovely suggestions. My brother "passes " for normal,and recently moved from 50 yrs. in the Pacific NW to familiar East Coast suburbs where he moved in with my sister in a very pleasant retirement community he can afford. He's doing really well his first month there, going to exercises classes with sister & on his own, dining with residents and neighbors, and attending several very satisfying family reunions (including a small cheerful burial gathering.) He met cousins and relatives he hasn't seen in decades and enjoyed it! feels included, not overwhelmed! Their community has musical presentations after dinner He's enjoyed them along with other residents. So unusual (to me!) for someone who's lived with no radio, TV, , walkman, and very little interest in music as far as I knew. So things are going well. He's enjoying the mental stimulation and care of our sister whom he trusts! So for now, things seem very positive. Good change we invited him to make and 180'+ turnaround!

[@RogerHuesser]

Hi Chris. Getting my autism diagnosis 2 years ago, when I was 53 years old. I'm still struggeling living my life. Your heartwarming videos are telling me, I'm not alone. Thank you so much! Greetings from Switzerland.

[@justinwebb3117]

@@RogerHuesser good luck Roger! 🍀👍

[@cjjuszczak]

I've suspected for about 10-15 years that i'm "on the spectrum", i thought it was just ADHD, so after the last decade and a half of increasingly getting curious, and going down the rabbit hole, i got myself tested in May this year (2024), and was diagnosed with both Autism ("Level 1" AKA "Asperger's") + ADHD. I'm 49 :) It's been a trip doing the "reviewing my entire life through a new lense" and the whole "what would my life have been like if i was diagnosed earlier?" thing, a bit of imposter syndrome, and generally getting used to the idea, as you said in your video "i've always been Autistic". It's a such a relief once i got to accepting it all, and realising i don't have to mask, to repress the stimming, to force myself to socialise, and all the other behaviours i was doing, both knowingly, and unknowingly. Now i get to choose more consciously how to spend, and recharge, by battery :)

[@toaojjc]

41 here. Been waiting for an assesment for over a year now, but feeling pretty sure about my selfdiagnosis now. Your story helped in that too. I also was an 80s kid that copied other kids. I've had numerous health isues that made it impossible to go to school or work some days.

[@pegsdeborah78]

This is every social interaction I had up until 30 when I gave up on socializing. I just quit trying and it was great. Now I’m relearning how to socialize but my way… honoring my autistic needs.

[@zdzislawaprzyborska5653]

It helps. I'm in the middle of diagnosis and burnout, and trying to get back to work being a mom... You give me words. Thank you ❤

[@bugsybrown1745]

Thank you for sharing so much of yourself and your journey, I cried along with you because it is SO HARD just functioning day to day and no one understands it. I'm 42 and going though getting assessed for ADHD & Autism now. I also had a tipping point during Covid lockdowns and just couldn't continue the same way anymore, there was nothing left. Debby is such an amazing partner and I admit I was a bit angry when your 'best friend' was pulled into view of the camera and it wasn't her!

[@jeancampbell4212]

I'm so grateful you shared this story. I'm 59 and was diagnosed about a year ago. The dx was online with a psychotherapist but I'd already done a lot of research. I got the ADHD dx at the same time and it was painful and horrifying. I also have a supportive spouse (THANK GOD) and my two older sisters were pretty understanding. I, too, am working on educating others, starting with my church congregation (very liberal Unitarians) because I believe at the core of autism is misunderstanding and being misperceived. I used to explain it away as not trying hard enough, as this was the general attitude of my family/teachers, but looking back I realized I tried incredibly hard and just shut down due to exhaustion so it looked I was "giving up." As a high IQ, "high functioning" AuDHDer and being female, I've been successful at masking enough to keep most jobs (I've had 90) but could never gain traction in the workforce and have been plagued by some of the same health problems you describe. It's a relief to know but the sudden download of so much information forces you to relive the trauma, isolation, and unfairness all at once...anyway, I could go on and on but just know you are doing a HUGE service to other autistic adults with your content.

[@PhoenixEvolution]

All the itchiness trends to come from our higher inflammation and histamines (MCAS) mast cell activation. all the widespread pain, muscle and nerve - how our body is bracing and making up for something else (EDS) Ehlers Danlos. I have audhd, plus those plus more and we have such a high comorbity with so many things. The biggest thing is gut/ brain and inflammation. Was amazing to hear your testimony. I first started knowing what autism was in 2010 working in childcare, realizing i was the only one that could understand a level 3, we got training on it, I'm like this sounds like me 😅 it took me till 2020 and then 32, the pandemic made things more simply for me as i didn't need to go out in public and work as my work shut everything down. I'm now better able to understand myself and also my kids. It's still alot to learn and understand but, things get a little more manageable

[@siminarae]

I'm so glad I found your channel! I just found out I am autistic, and your story mirrors mine in a lot of ways, right down to running a school for neurodivergent students for TEN YEARS NEVER realizing the symptoms applied to me. I used to call my neurodivergent students Jedis to remind them how special they were. It was my autistic son, the reason I founded the school in the first place, who had to actually tell me, "Mom, you can't be Obi-wan if you're not a Jedi, too." I'm 42 just getting this diagnosis and trying to figure out how to manage this information but it is so clear that it explains EVERYTHING. Thank you so much for sharing your story!

[@ChrisandDebby]

Love the message from your son (Master Jedi) and what a cool story from you! That school sounds like such a special place - would enjoy heading more about it. And so interesting about the parallels in the stories too. When you can BE the change in education, it’s such an amazing feeling! Are you still running the school?

[@siminarae]

@@ChrisandDebby Thank you! This, regrettably, is our last year. We have graduated over 22 students, with another 5 in class of 2024,and served over 500+ who have gone on to private universities, Division I sports programs, and some have even started performing arts careers. I’m proud of what we’ve done, but something tells me it was time for ME now, to figure out who I really am after masking for so long. Rediscovering myself has been the hardest part of this process. I also have an autoimmune disease, lupus, but there were so many symptoms no one could explain. Autism explains them. I am sad about not being able to serve more students, but I’m embracing this new chapter of my life!

[@fettkes05]

I was diagnosed about a month ago at age 61, and discovered your channel today. Thank you for everything you’ve doing.

[@zibratesmom-giftsforlife8751]

Oh my gosh… “my brain always felt stretched like it was going to explode”. “Daily life is draining” Thank you so much for being so vulnerable and sharing your story. I found you and starter sharing with my husband. What you are sharing is really helping him understand me and how to help me. Not officially diagnosed but my research seems to be proving that I do and a lot of my children. I’m almost 51 female. I’m so sorry about what happened with your business. Thank you again.

[@ayarel01]

43, can’t afford to get a formal diagnosis because insurance won’t cover it, but your story sounds so familiar to my own. I figured out I might be autistic when my daughter was diagnosed at age 4. Now looking back on my life, so much of what I’ve gone through makes so much more sense. Thank you for sharing! Maybe I’ll be “official” one day. 😊

[@alanasbaby7]

So obvious now...Always knowing and feeling different for as long as I can remember. Not understanding why other people enjoyed and sought out social situations. I avoided eye contact and sensory issues since I was a baby. Selective mutism in high school. Always monitoring myself in social situations. Higher than typical empathy. Meltdowns when overwhelmed. Having intense special interests. Data dumping about special interests.

[@notsure9802]

I really appreciate you sharing your story. I recently discovered that i am autistic at 43. My husband is late diagnosed Autistic about 15 years ago. Recently our teenage son had requested to talk to someone about his struggles. We suspected he is on the spectrum also so we were not surprised when he was diagnosed. We have been able to make adjustments for him and its going well. What threw me for a loop was when i started researching autism to help my son i started thinking "that sounds like me" over and over. Everything i thought i knew about autism was outdated stereotypes or direct comparisons to my husband. Furthermore, i have cptsd. So growing up, anything that was "wierd" about me i simply attributed to childhood trauma and moved on. I had quite an existential crisis. Ive been obsesively researching, taking tests and seeing a therapist. Its facinating to me how i (as someone whos special interest is phsychology, religion, phylosophy, anything related to what people think and feel and why) i was so oblivious to this in myself and yet when i went through all my life in my head it now made perfect sense.

[@RobertWarren81]

Diagnosed adhd in 1988. A few of your videos have me asking myself alot of questions. I am now seeking asd testing thanks to you, some things over a few videos have hit too close to home. Thankful for the sharing.

[@debvandusen3623]

Hey Chris, at 67 I just figured this out too. Online through other's videos, reading and taking the tests. But when I listened to your wife I thought I'm so much like her husband Chris! So I had my husband listen to her. This is why I've had difficulty fitting in, in life! All my life! I've been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, depression at times but this is the best explanation for why I act the way I do. Crashed and burned a few times putting myseIf through college. I could never find an challenging enough job to hold my interest long enough to keep it. Until I got into a large telecom and did the masking but found it enjoyable to actually play the role the mask provided. I can finally stop "beating myself up" for reacting like I do, my socialization, and not being able to keep friends. My life, from my childhood, all makes sense now so I cut myself some slack because I have the answer. I have the reason. It makes sense. And it's gonna be okay!

[@MrsW0f0rd]

Got my ADHD dx at 27, and autism dx at 36. Thank you for sharing your story and creating this channel. Just found you today, and I *love* your content. ❤Late Dx Club❤

[@rikorobinson]

I'm 42 and only realizing now, after learning my idea of what autism is was seriously flawed, that I'm almost certainly autistic. Going in to be evaluated in the next couple of weeks. Thanks to channels like this, I might finally find out why I've always been so DIFFERENT from everyone else. So thanks!

[@rowenameyer296]

I relate to so much of what you say. Struggled with every day life and exhaustion my entire life. Two years ago I had hit autistic burnout exactly as you described until I couldn’t get out of bed for 3 months. I started seeking an answer and found a psychiatrist who screened me for autism. Finally diagnosed as high masking autistic with ADHD at the age of 67. My entire life fell into place and made sense. The lost friendships and relationships, my night owl nature, my IBS, fibromyalgia, the need to walk tiptoe, the low energy and pain tolerance, all of it.

[@rowenameyer296]

Thank you for sharing!

[@carolinedurocher8377]

diagnosed at 47. I'm still learning, I'm 55 now, and I embrace more and more my condition. With profonde acceptance, and peace. I see myself like a real minority, in a world made by non autistic, for non autistic poeple. Your work is so usefull, because it is about autism (and neurodiversity) by an autistic person. and more, you have a such good humor (from belgium)

[@snarkymcsnarkface1863]

My journey was funny at least to me. I got outed by HR. In a very funny way. Somekne went to complain to HR about me. The HR person told them "drop it, he is autistic and you don't want this fight" I just happened to be walking bye and overheard it. I was at on my way to get something from an othet printer because the normal printer was being serviced. That is how I found out... and initially I just laughed it off. Took a whole bunch of self tests and all signs pointed yes. I had a conversation with a specialist and after that 30 minute chat. Their comment was. "This is an unofficial diagnosis, simply to save you money. But you are autistic." I just shrugsand rolled with it. At least I had an answer for my strange life and health issues. But here is the thing. I have always known I was different. And I have low-key been outting myself for decades. With comments like "I am almost human". Or have you ever met an other person like me, partly joking and partly looking for answers. Or nope I am done leaving now, an hour into a party. I goto burning man and occupy a space that is relatively quiet that is basically temperature controlled and then I dive into a special interest for seven days and I go full tilt autistic. Forget to eat, drink take a break. My camp literally baby sits my arse making sure I don't drop dead. I get to be me unapologetically for seven days and I don't need to mask up. Everyone just writes it off as eccentric behaviour because that is the only time they see me for the entire year. I don't have to keep up a mask. I.can space out In front of someone and no one cares. I can avoid eye contact and point at the art structure. Yes there are 60 to 80 thousand people around... But you walk out into open playa (desert) and the world just melts away. My first time going to Burning man was opportunity to reflect on my life at that moment. And how things had gone wrong. What I found was a place full of strangers acting strange and largely ignoring the social norms. I found permission from a collective of self selected people to simply be me with no judgement.

[@tiffanylbacon]

I was diagnosed with dyslexia as a child. I had an eating disorder for 30 years. Was told I have bipolar but that didn’t feel right to me. I have PTSD from a traumatic childhood. I know now that autism and ADHD contributed to that. Having a child on the spectrum is like reliving my childhood. Now I’m in complete shutdown and barely able to function. But I want a way out of this hell. It hurts. I’m thankful my husband has been so supportive of ME. Now we just need to learn how to navigate my brain and my son’s brain. I feel so much of your story is my story. ❤❤❤

[@breccamerie1]

I grew up recognizing my brain worked differently than others and I simply embraced the fact that certain things bothered me. It wasn't until, at the age of 46, that my mom had been looking into autism for my older brother who had a lot of mental issues and sat me down and said, "I think you have autism". I just laughed at her because all I knew about autism is the nonfunctioning melt downs and train loving boys like my nephew. She asked me to watch a few videos on women with autism and high masking. I came to realize that the multiple dr visits for my wealth of health issues, including non functioning depression and burn out, was all autism. I don't have the money for a diagnosis, but I know I am. I think when you really pay attention with an open mind and really take a hard look at your feelings and reactions you just know. At the end of the day I am pretty sure most of my family, including several of my boys, are on the spectrum. When I came to this realization about myself I cried. I cried because there is no pill to fix this. I had done sooo much over the years to function. Taught myself how to talk and act. Built up this big wall of routine to pass. Having autism means no vacation, no reboot, no escape from this. I have to accept the fact that I have a certain handicap that I get overwhelmed easy which leads to non function and pushing myself harder leads to long term burn out. Like an illness, I have to treat my symptoms or I end up with a flare up which impacts my mentality and health. About 6 months into this I have found I can laugh at this and give myself permission to self sooth. Taking steps to stem and escape has been so healing. I found your channel last night and love it. I so very much LOVE your wonky sense of humor, almost boy like, that is so..... autistic. I laughed so hard last night you had me snorting, because your video really resounded with me and my family members, and it helped me fall asleep to just be able to giggle at me and be 'good' with it. Your delivery of these topics is incredibly wholesome and you verbalize all the quirks and sounds I feel. Thank you for your videos and please keep posting.

[@planetindiana5044]

Thank you for being brave and sharing this with us (huge help and I cried along with you). At 62 years old I didn't want to be autistic either and would still be oblivious if my grandson had not been diagnosed and I wanted to know more about what autism was. It's just been a couple months since my counselor confirmed and while my being autistic is getting easier for me to accept I am still struggling to reframe a lifetime (quite the epiphany). Like your counselor, I had a friend who is AuDHD tell me "it's not a death sentence, you don't need to be cured, you've always been autistic. you're still you" - it helped immensely to hear that. With knowledge comes power.

[@JustClaude13]

I was diagnosed with schizoid personality disorder in 1980. Last year, at 63, I looked it up to see what that was supposed to mean. It didn't sound like me. Autism sounded more like me, so last year I went to a therapist, who agreed I seemed to be autistic, but an accurate diagnosis at my age would be difficult and expensive, so we'll just go with it. So I have an official undiagnosis.

[@samcrorie]

Thank you ... First off, your wife is awesome. Not all heroes wear capes. You made me tear up. I was diagnosed with ADHD in my thirties and now in my fifties I'm seeking a diagnosis of autism. I've been binging your content and reading comments and i think I've found my people. Its exhausting having to "mask" all the time and I'm feeling inspired to be myself more. I know I'd be happier. At my age I no longer care what people think (mostly). I used to work in IT but I got burned out, then my husband had a stroke and I had to stay home and be his fulltime caregiver. Its stressful but in some ways easier because I dont have to go out and deal with people on a daily basis. Ugh... people. Peopling is hard. Your buddy is freaking adorable btw. Besides my cats and dog I've got a buddy or two myself.

[@edrodgers1258]

Sharing your story like this is so beautiful. I understand that it's hard to do. But it's very powerful for me to see the things we have in common, and the things we don't. It helps me very much, and I believe it has tremendous value for so many people. Thank you so much for this video.

[@ChrisandDebby]

Thanks so much for this, Ed! It was really really challenging but I’m glad I did it. Hope it can keep helping others better understand the challenges but also how very unique we all are! Glad you’re here on this journey too

[@bradraughley6206]

I'm 48 and have realized I'm autistic in the last few years. Diagnosed with ADHD during the pandemic and treating that led down the rabbit hole that ended up here. The first 9 months were very rough, but since then I feel so much more relaxed since I'm able to realize my needs and accommodate them. I've got a much better relationship with my spouse and my kids. The freedom to say no, I can't, or not right now has been amazing. I can't get an official diagnosis because of immigration reasons, but have had it confirmed thru my psychologist and psychiatrist. It's taken a huge weight of guilt and blame off of my shoulders. Thank you for sharing your videos and story.

[@ZSchrink]

Chris, thank you for sharing this video. It fills me with both incredible sadness and happiness. Happiness that you were able to finally get answers after so many years. Sadness because I didn't have anybody in my life who was willing to tell me they thought I was autistic even though they had thought it for years. I received my diagnosis about a month ago. It's been both amazing and saddening working through that process. But again, thank you for showing what you went through. All of the above is speech to text and I just don't have it in a to proofread. Apologies for any confusion or misspellings.

[@funniful]

BLESS YOUR HEART! Thank you for all of your videos. My husband and I are exploring the possibility of him having autism and your videos are helping to a great extent. Thank you, thank you

[@emiliahalstead49]

Thank you for your honestly. I have my own psychneurology appointment scheduled, and while I'm almost 100% sure I'm auadhd, and a diagnosis would be a relief, i know that the healing and acceptance journey only begins there. Thank you for the reminder "You have always been autistic. You didn't do anything wrong."

[@360nftsports]

I got misdiagnoses... and then I just go identified last month and I turned 40 this past march. I went thru a grieving process and had I not been in the throws of an extended chronic Autistic burnout i probably would not have been receptive to it if my Advisor had not suggested it. I know exactly what you mean when you describe how your brain feels like its about to expand outside of your skull and now all of the other seperate symptoms I had been experiencing are all part of the autistic diagnoses. Bravo to you for this channel.

[@LindaWbr]

Thank you very very much for your courage and strength sharing your story. I am an MD specialised in general medicine and from now on will be looking out more for people struggling with undiagnosed autism. Thank you a lot!!! 👏🏼

[@Stlouisbartending]

My gratitude to any MD , especially GP, bc they are often who we see initially and often our first point of contact in the “dr visit” phase of diagnosis/diagnostic time. As an adult who presents with a mixed bag of psych issues and diagnoses, chronic pain with MRI positive issues like cervical stenosis, hypertrophy of facet joints; sobriety and relapse and sobriety; sluggish thyroid and a few more “things,” I was disappointed and discouraged to watch my character come under attack with carefully worded “ dr notes “ I was privy (we all are) to review due to an SSDI case. Rather than delving into my childhood history by asking 4-5 questions, it appeared as though “addict, substance abuse” would eclipse childhood neglect and adverse experiences and developmental trauma disorder (not in DSM) would not be brought to light and I wasn’t aware of the possibility that cptsd could be causing the fluctuations-(oh and beginning menopause could be the (or a) precipitating factor for pain. Omg why didn’t anyone say this 6 yrs ago- hey ya know your hormones might be causing….). Although speculative it seemed the “speculation” fell onto me and “years of substance abuse disorder” (no mention of long periods of sobriety btw and short periods of relapse followed by sobriety)… had I been asked questions about Adverse Childhood Experiences or had I even known that I’d been lugging around all the guilt and shame and there was a way to re-distribute (not blaming game btw) it etc. things might have been different now. I certainly wasn’t looking for something to blame per se but once, again… it was because I used drugs and alcohol and possibly wasn’t credible to believe and because I didn’t experience a depression at that moment that Major depression was not diagnosed or whatever… I should have changed GP’s but wasn’t trying to manipulate something but just figure out why I couldn’t walk, sit stand and do anything without becoming utterly bed ridden by the mid day in pain. My character was under attack and perhaps if Dr had bothered to ask me- there’d have been some different notations. It was upsetting because I’d already blamed myself enough and had little validation about possible long term effects of emotional abuse and physical abuse and trauma. Short sighted doc whom I should have written a letter and asked why she didn’t go there. 6 years too late - bravo for doing something proactive instead of assuming your the Dr and must be right

[@ChrisandDebby]

@@LindaWbr this is so nice to hear - we need more doctors and medical professionals to understand more. Really appreciate that you’re learning in order to do better for your patients!

[@kj3d812]

Chris, I am in tears. Thank you for your heartfelt words, and your experience of the "pandemic" as an autistic person. The "pandemic" was absolutely devastating to me in so many ways, some different than yours but crushing nonetheless. I am still trying to pick up the pieces. I don't know if I will ever fully heal from the damage -- nor will the world. It was around that same time that I learned I'm autistic (I'm 60 now), and to make matters worse, other life-shattering events were happening in my life at the exact same time. It was a lot to process and continues to be so. So many times it felt like my brain would explode; I have a word for it: *firestorm*. I felt as if I would fly apart at the seams and my brain would shatter into a billion pieces. I could not handle what was going on with the world, how it was being handled, and the devastation some of the decisions that were made wreaked in people's lives. I have mask trauma from childhood, which the "pandemic" only made worse. Today the stragglers who still wear a mask re-traumatize me (I literally stayed home for 2 years when masks were required in public); I cannot look at such people. I don't even know how to grieve for the world that was before, which we'll never see again. I'm so grateful for you sharing your story. I feel less alone.

[@AmandaFisher-b7f]

This video clearly shows how hard it was for you to make. I cried when you cried! Thank you for being so open, honest and raw in this video. I was in an individual learning center for many of my school years. The Neurotypical kids treated me as if I had 2 heads! It was very hard to get through school! I have an appointment February 9th to get tested. I am looking forward to being diagnosed because I have always known that something wasn’t quite right with me. Getting a professional diagnosis will ease my mind because I will understand why I have always had these traits. I have said for years that I am ADHD undiagnosed. I started doing research on that and realized that I have both! 😳 I am 56 now! I’m enjoying your videos! 😊

[@betsym1245]

I need to thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for this video. I saw the end where you said how difficult this was for you, but it had helped me immensely. Your video is the final push I need to get my diagnosis. I have struggled for so long, imitating all social situations to know what is expected of me since I was a kid, birn in the 80s. I have a great-aunt that taught SpecEd. I have worked in the field of assisting individuals with intellectual/developmental differing abilities for 26 years (including my high school years) and still thought, *I* couldn't be autistic, I have a job (the SAME job for 22 years 😅), I pay my bills, I don't have meltdowns (yes, I actually do)... all of those things. I had a differing experience in school as you, but I read females are especially good at masking. From your videos and looking back, I now see I was constantly looking to others to see how to behave and attempt to do the same to be socially appropriate. I have kids, my son was diagnosed at age 10 this year. Looking into things with him, I noticrd some things and started researching for me as well and found your channel this summer. I don't know what diagnosis would do for me at 40 years old, but maybe others would be more excepting of my needs with an official dx. Sorry this was so long, I have so much respect and appreciation for you and the work you put into to your videos and I wanted you to know. Thank you, again.

[@betsym1245]

P.S. if I'm truly honest, I was relieved to not be expected to go out for social things during COVID but I was also considered a

[@betsym1245]

... considered an essential worker so I still had to go to work. My darkest time was about 9 months into the shut down (in the US) through 2023. 🖤

[@Portia620]

You’re the best too! I know this was difficult for you but you’re awesome! 😎 ❤️ sending light and love to all that have had a difficult road!

[@Isobel83]

Thank you for sharing this and letting us know we're not alone! I am self diagnosed auDHD (awaiting official diagnosis), and your channel has become my go to for learning how to actually get through life day by day. ❤

[@ChrisandDebby]

It’s one heck of a roller coaster ride, but I wouldn’t trade my autism for anything. Thanks for being here!

[@chan21782003]

Thank you so much for your vulnerability and trust in sharing this with us.

[@jacquelinemartin9793]

Hi Chris, My husband and I have both recently been diagnosed with ASD and ADHD to name a few. I wanted to say THANK YOU for this video. I loved how you didn't cut out the raw emotion. I teared up watching it. I could relate to so much of what you were saying. I was 49 (now 50) and my husband was diagnosed with ASD at 56 (this year). So... it's been a journey to say the least. We are watching your videos and enjoying learning along the way. Many thanks for putting yourself out there. I struggle so much with making/keeping friends. My husband works full time, however I had to retire 10 years ago (burn out... now I know what it was). Many thanks for sharing your struggles as well as your findings as to what works for you and Debbie. It has opened up some discussions for us and I look forward to watching more of your videos. We are going through them oldest to newest :) Hope you are having a great day

[@odysseyofthelinecalligraph4195]

15:31 I just started crying, Debby loves you so much.

[@BiddyBiddyBiddy]

I've had health issues for (most of my life, but in this instance) the last decade, and been unable to work a typical job for the last three years; muscle cramps and spasm, digestional tract issues, brain fog, fatigue in varying forms, that unfinished feeling when peeing just like you mentioned, among so many other things. Went to head doctors to be handed meds that made things worse. Scanned and tested for every physical thing under the sun (nerve stim tests are fun). Two years ago I looked at autism and thought, "Nope, I'm too funny, too nice, I'm really good socially, I know how to read faces, I know how to read between the lines." A few months ago I saw a comparison chart with ADHD and CPTSD, and 'some other acronymed condition' that I wasn't familiar with... I've been through a lot of trauma with the pain and disfunction, and going broke, no answers from doctors, and a bio-family breakup, so I expected to see my symptoms for mental trauma listed in the corresponding circle; but my symptoms were all in that other circle, the mystery cicrcle, and it included some of my phsycial issues with muscles tension and intenstinal problems...and I sat there and wondered, "what is ASD?" I sat there saying the same thing as before, "I know how to read faces, I am good socially..." And then a curtain in my memory opened and showed me a hundred awkward and embarrassing replays of my past, times I got in trouble in school and at work for joking at the wrong time, having people get offended at things I said that to me were just 'facts,' or not being aware that the big gruff guy walking toward me (I just joyfully complimented him on his very funny shirt) is angry and about to fight the guy I'm standing next to. I realized that I'd been self isolating for nearly twenty years. I am anxious all the time, and it has gottten worse as I've aged. Add the layer of all the intellecual pursuits, creative endevours and endless new projects that my mind and brain come up with, and the shoe actually fits better on me than Cinderella. Fantastic video, thanks fo much for sharing.

[@caraziegel7652]

I'm still not dx'd at 58. But my middle child was dx'd and i started having some serious aha moments, esp reading about gifted/autist and austic girls. I found articles talking about things that I thought only I ever went through. I still didnt really believe it and STILL just get mad at myself for not being as good at everything as everyone else is. But when I mention to my husband that I guess I might be autistic, he sighs and says, I thought we already established this. My middle child (still at home and not working at 27) is very supportive and clearly believes I have autism and an anxiety disorder. I think id' already managed to find a lot of coping methods before i started recognizing that i was autistic. i think it also has something to do with why no therapists i ever tried have been at all helpful. they didnt really get it. though some of my kid's doctors asked me if I had a dx or was on any medication for anxiety . . .

[@hoosiergirl8727]

I am self diagnosed. I am old enough for the senior discount. I have different issues. I've always felt on the outside of conversations that involved more than 2 people. By the time I felt like I was able to add something, they had been done with that topic and I was 2 topics behind. If there was one absolutely inappropriate thing to say, it came out of my mouth. I can't handle air noise like fans or open car windows. My Dr diagnosed adhd explained some of that. Even with medication, I always felt there was something else. A diagnosis doesn't cure anything, but it helps to explain things all the way back to before kindergarten.

[@lexushikes]

So thankful I found your content. It's incredible. You share your experience so well while being informative. I am in my 40s, and after getting (finally) an adhd diagnosis in the past year, I find myself wondering if there is more. I am going to keep trying to figure myself out, thanks to your inspiration. ❤.

[@Calibri57]

I am so sorry to hear you struggled so much. Having the responsibilities you had made your Pandemic experience horrific. But, Pandemic was a relief for me. Yes I lost my income, but I suddenly had a lot of time on my hands, and relief from having to perform in the workplace and socially. I spent the time happily diving down rabbit holes and was fortunate enough to dive down the KZbin rabbit holes of symptoms of autism, CPTSD, and narcissistic behaviors. I came out of pandemic with a suitcase load of self acceptance and understanding and even improved physical health. I know who I am now. I am happy for you that you too know yourself better. Isn’t it a big relief to have a clearer path forward?

[@Jaimelaffoon]

Thank you for making this video!!! My daughter was diagnosed with autism in school. I did so much research and it just clicked that I have autism and then my husband did his research and he is also self diagnosed along with our son. We cannot afford to pay for an official diagnosis sadly. It really helps hearing other autistic people’s experiences. I truly believe there are many other neurodivergent people in our family but they do not want to hear about it, which makes it really hard. But I guess that is their choice. Again thank you for making this content for “older” autistic people.

[@studiomorg]

it's been just a week that i have been officially diagnosed with autism and im just now seeing this video and it's so refreshing to me to finally see someone talking about how hard it is to swallow it up, to know that it wasn't just me who didn't got the feeling of relief after the diagnosis and how hard it was to accept it. everyone that i looked up talking about autism just talked about how relieving it was, how they finally found themselves and it was so difficult to me to relate, to see that apparently no one had the same struggle accepting just like i did and still am. thanks for sharing your experience Chris, it's really important for a lot of people hearing about more than the same single experience ❤

[@bryan_gurrrero]

I appreciate your honesty when it comes to who you employed and I have great respect for you because of this video. I was just recently diagnosed with adhd and asd

[@ChrisandDebby]

@@bryan_gurrrero thanks for this! And if you recently got diagnosed, hope your journey for learning what that means specifically for you is going well. I’m still learning too

[@tdsollog]

Thank you for sharing your story. I’m 53, and in the process of being assessed for ADHD and ASD. The “symptoms”/ traits you mentioned…. Wow. So similar…. even the eye twitching, digestive issues, trouble sleeping, skin issues….

[@stephr5914]

I had the same problem with my academic performance adding to the difficulty in getting a diagnosis. Before age 12, school was actually fun, so i received glowing reports (the reports the psychiatrist requested for 'evidence'....) because i'd *wanted* to do it, could hyperfocus with ease, seemingly adapt with ease, *and* be sociable. Turns out I'm an ambiverted autistic adhder with disthymia. As a kid I'd seen counsellors, but none had suggested i might have a genuine disability (or two) that affected the control of my emotions. It just so happened that as an adult, i realised that several of my friends were neurodivergent.

[@claudiaochayon2730]

Chris thanks for sharing your dx journey. Im a 58 self dx woman with 5 kids. Phew what a journey thats been. I relate so well to your physical symptoms the strange itchy patches, rashes, tummy upsets etc. Im happy for you that your beautiful wife persevered and supports you so unconditionally. I love how you describe the bodily symptoms you experience, they are so relatable. I would never think to verbalize my symptoms but you've helped me voice my experience. 😊

[@ChrisandDebby]

I’m so glad you found value in my video. This one was hard for me to make. I’m glad I did it though! Us late diagnosed autistics have had it rough. We are a courageous group and I’m lucky I get to meet and interact with so many others who have lived similar experiences. It just feels good.

[@claudiaochayon2730]

@@ChrisandDebby I've been dx with Eds so at least have an explanation for my symptoms but find this pda profile vs /or along with adhd confusing.thx for reply xx

[@ThisisPam]

Thank you so much, Chris. You’ve been through a lot. This video does help, and will help, many many others. Debby is a wonderful person to risk so much and push through to get the answers you both needed. She is my hero, and you are too.

[@GentlemanGamer94]

Thank you for sharing your story Chris! Various parts of it really resonated with me and various parts of my own autism journey. And in addition to that, thanks for all the videos you've and Debby have been putting out! Since watching them, I've been able to understand and empathize my autistic brain better than I ever have before. Moreover, your videos are so digestible, accessible and full of knowledge that I've been able to share them with my wife to help her understand more about autism as well. Your videos are making a marked, positive difference in my life :)

[@ChrisandDebby]

Thank you so much for this message! It really brightened my day and we are both so happy to hear that the videos are helpful for you and your wife.

[@PragmaNDefatigably]

6:13 I got a lot of “well if you ever want Adderol…” even though I said from the very beginning, I did not want those type of ADHD drugs Also I figured it out my spectrum disorder at the same time as you! At 41 and it began right before the pandemic. I was shutting down and zoning out. I hoped my promotion with remote work would help but it got worse. I finally started looking into it seriously. Thanks for sharing!!!

[@Linda-ro3yp]

My son (13) was diagnosed with autism last year after I asked he be tested for ADHD which I thought he might have. I was surprised it was autism. After that some things started to click for me as well. Me and my son are so much alike. I get him so well. We think alike. And while filling in his test forms a lot of the questions really resonated with me. Now I would like to get myself tested but I'm really scared to. I don't have my old rapport cards from school. And I don't remember much from when I was a kid other than being bullied and feeling alone and anxious a lot.. My husband who knows me best is willing to come with me.. Even though we're getting divorced after being together for 20 years (I'm actually happier now living alone than in my relationship) I can finally be myself..

[@dus10dnd]

Wow. Great video, Chris! Thank you so much. I was 42 by the time I had my diagnosis, but I was fairly confident that I was autistic for a couple of years. However, my initial reaction to the notion that i might be autistic (when my wife brought it up) was fairly similar. I had nothing against autism and I had even held long-term perspectives about many of the positive aspects that it can hold for certain people. However, the stereotypes about autism were what came to mind and that wasn't me and I didn't react well. My wife didn't bring it back up, but I continued to think about it more frequently as time went on. I found resources that discussed life experiences of folks with lower support needs and aspergers syndrome and I was eventually convinced. By the time I was convinced, I think my wife was less convinced. I was really worried to seek a diagnosis for fear that I was wrong. I finally found somebody and it was an extremely quick turnaround. I took an ADOS questionnaire and then scheduled an appointment to speak with the psychiatrist... by the end of that discussion, he said it was fairly likely that I was autistic, but we would have to schedule another follow up to formalize everything. Two weeks later, I had my confirmation. The only real issue is that things just seem to be progressively more difficult. I've screwed up in unique ways recently. I have received resistance from my family doctor despite having nearly the entire alphabet of comorbidities (OCD, GAD, ADHD, PDA, cPTSD...). Heck, I was even kicked out of the autism support group that my psychiatrist invited me to because I didn't want to conform to their group think (which I have to say that the psychiatrist is abusing his position with what he is doing... and I am glad to be out of that group... I think it was counterproductive, really). However, looking back at my life, so many things make sense through the lens of autism. I always had the social issues, but I was pretty good at masking and could have some limited success. I wanted friends, but I was bad at it. When I had friends, I could really only maintain having one at a time. I was physically awkward. I liked sports, but really couldn't deal with team sports... but I thrived at things that were primarily individual in nature, like swimming and track. I also have a sterotypically autistic job and I have been doing a lot to support myself for nearly a decade. But I had problems early in my career that I chalked up to the DotCom bust... but autism seems to have been a significant factor, as well. I always had to drive all the way across town for work and I can't stand traffic. I had no control of my working environment and it gave me a ton of anxiety. I finally had other people to talk with about things that I liked, so that was a distraction to being productive. I started showing up later and later at every job due to these challenges, despite really enjoying the actual work that I did. Once I started working from home, things drastically improved which happened long before the pandemic. But, the pandemic created issues because everyone else in my household was home all day and it ruined all of my routines. And that is about the time that my wife brought things up. I'd really like to be open about some of the other issues that I had that really forced me into masking, but I don't want to call people out... even not mentioning people, it would be obvious and I just don't want to do that, even if it is deserved. Maybe one day I can find a way because I think it would be helpful for others that are struggling similarly. Also, thanks for responding in the past!

[@ChrisandDebby]

Thank you for sharing all of this! And for your nice comments always. I’ve been still recovering from some burnout but I read these all but wanted to come back and respond gradually to a few. I feel like your story has a lot of parallels to mine - even down to the minimal friends due to struggles keeping up. I talk about that in another video - how it takes a special kind of person (especially patient and forgiving and understanding of certain things I need and why I fall off the planet sometimes for weeks or even months between responses) and I also was the same with sports interestingly enough. I like team sports but really only stuck with mostly individual ones like swimming and cross country (similar to you). What you mentioned about work environments too - very similar to me. I think this is one of my favorite things about starting this channel is seeing how different and unique us autistics are but also where we share experiences and characteristics. I really appreciate reading this from you. Thank you for being here!

[@deliafidelia]

Thank you for sharing your journey. Your brutal honesty in making this video is appreciated more than I have words to explain. Your videos seem to have a way of making me comment out loud. "Tell me about it!!" And "Thank you!" seems to be the most common ones escaping my mouth🙏🏼 It's so nice to finally relate. I never thought I'd find my tribe. Hello @everyone on here 👋🏽

[@JoshyCC]

Chris, thank you for doing the difficult things that it took to make this video. I was late diagnosed ASD at age 44, and only now at age 46 have I really started to learn more about it from people like you, accept it as real, and try to find my way through what life will look like going forward. I cried with you, empathizing both because I felt for what you were going through and because I'm going through some of the same things myself. Thanks again, Chris.