I’m Afraid I’ll Never Measure Up to Her Late Boyfriend

[@DrLove01]

I met an attractive lady, whose boyfriend was a policeman who died in the line of duty, in a well publicized multi death event. I realized early on it was going to be an impossible to date her because she had immortalized him, he was a martyr. She was also upset that she didn’t get the same recognition as his coworkers wives did. He was an attractive gentleman who was a bit of a player, the likelihood of their relationship lasting was slim. That said this was her destiny. I bailed, as should this fellow, if he’s feeling this, it’s probably true!

[@Ioncandi]

In LE if you're not married and they die- in the line of duty you're not given any recognition. You have to be the spouse. That's just the way it is.

[@powderriver3554]

There’s a complete mirror image to this as well. I had a boyfriend who lost his wife and just stayed in that mourning state , and I know this sounds cruel, but it was for people to keep feeling sorry for him. I kept telling him I didn’t think he was ready for a relationship and he kept insisting he was. However, he presented himself as the poor widow years into our relationship and barely spoke of me. So I think it was an excuse for him not to be present and be vulnerable and move forward. He had no business bringing me into his life if he wanted to play the victim forever

[@laserwizard1]

As a gay man who lost his 3 year partner back in the late 1990's to AIDS (I'm negative), it is very difficult to let go of the feelings of true love when dating others. I found that when I tried to date, I was always missing something and it wasn't fair to the other man. I ended up stopping to date because I found the dead are a hard act to follow as you tend to remember all of their good while pushing back some of the negatives. And I remember that horrific feeling that I had when I learned about his death. I've never been so stricken with grief like that. My best friend and lover gone in a second. Thankfully I have a great friend that I converse with over the phone for the past 10 plus years - he's in Canada and I am in the States.

[@mgw4205]

I know a widow that has been interested in me and I feel absolutely horrible that her husband passed away but I feel if I pursued this I’d always be living in his shadows.

[@GUITARTIME2024]

You are likely correct, but she might not be an actual Alpha Widow. Her marriage might not have been great. I'd say, gently ask questions and LISTEN closely to see if there's room for you.

[@Starlightt01]

Difference between a widow and alpha widow

[@alicelee5045]

This is your insecurity. This widow is moving on and healing. You are allowing her past to get in the way of having a wonderful relationship with her. I don't think you are interested in her.

[@ANYTHINGISPOSSIBLEBELIEVE]

And they say women are emotional 😂 give me a break

[@omnissiah7247]

@@ANYTHINGISPOSSIBLEBELIEVE literally the reason men don't open up, and here's more reasons to add to the list

[@alicelee5045]

People seem to think that the only solution is for this man to end the relationship. But they fail to understand that everyone has a past and have experienced a loss through separation or death. But that does not make that person incapable or unworthy of moving on and creating a loving and committed relationship. No one enters a relationship with a clean slate. We all experience life as it comes. Dr. John is accurate in identifying this man's insecurity. His obsession with his girlfriend's deceased boyfriend is the issue and not a fault of his girlfriend. I admire his courage in addressing this situation. It takes intelligence and maturity to recognize a problem and taking action to address it. Good luck.

[@random-nz7dy]

I agree I don't think that people are being fair by just telling him to break up because he's insecure I think he's struggling with how to deal with this emotionally and he's insecure about it. I think the issue is that he needs to figure out how to address this better or it WILL eventually cause the relationship to flounder. I don't think that just because he's having this struggle means immediately the relationship is doomed. She probably on her end is appreciative that there's a guy that's willing to try to work through it

[@alicelee5045]

@@random-nz7dy Exactly. Every relationship has its challenges whether it is an ex boyfriend/girlfriend or past trauma. Running away is not the answer. Facing it head on will in time determine if the relationship is viable. Everyone deserves a chance.

[@erdbeerzwiebel3404]

It's sick what's going on in the comments of this channel. People are doing their very best to destroy the relationships of others.

[@Matrimonyncheese]

@alicelee5045 the issue isn't her past. The issue is that he's struggling with it. When someone is uncomfortable/insecure about someone's past, they're dating, it usually only gets worse. I've seen marriages blow up over things like this years down the road. The real issue is that she deserves to have a partner who lets her have her past without getting insecure over it. If he can't get past his focus on her last bf, he'll just destroy their relationship.

[@alicelee5045]

@@Matrimonyncheese There are different ways to see the same issue. Everyone has a past and this young man has difficulty with her late boyfriend. He recognizes that and is seeking help with it. I think he understands the risks involved if he does not address the problem. I am glad he reached out to Dr. Delony. I see he has been replying to people's comments and he sounds like he is in a good place.

[@rogersanchez9635]

You never stack up to the dead person in their mind they’ve built the person up to near perfect status, in their mind if the person was around everything would be perfect and they think about it more when things between you guys aren’t going the best

[@denfolo5224]

I have been in this situation. Sometimes, they are just not yet ready to move on. Unfortunately, many in her situation don't want to be alone; so they drag other people on their journey.

[@alicelee5045]

Grief is not understood and talked about in our society. People want to move on and heal. They cannot do that alone and they hope to find the right people who can understand and be supportive. It is not for the faint of heart because it requires patience, compassion, understanding and someone who is confident in themselves. Healing is a journey and not a destination.

[@denfolo5224]

@@alicelee5045 I would have preferred that he held onto his family for support during the healing, not another woman. And that has nothing to do with self confidence (I wasn't doubting myself at all). Widowers feel complex emotions for reasonable reasons. Only time can heal, not love, nor smexe.

[@alicelee5045]

@@denfolo5224 I am not sure I understand your comment. His girlfriend is the one grieving the loss of her late boyfriend. The man was fixated on the deceased boyfriend. Everyone's grieving journey is different.

[@tbjr1127]

I could never date anyone with a late boyfriend or husband. There will always be a hole in her heart that will never be filled by anything. She will always have his pictures, their special anniversaries and his death anniversary will be dates where she’s sad seemingly for no reason. It’s brutal.

[@lorainefleeman6011]

@tbjr1127 It's a boyfriend of just a little over a year. In 10 years she should be past that

[@Ruth-nn1dr]

I feel this kid. I could never live up to a person who is no longer here, either. 😢

[@Matrimonyncheese]

If someone's past relationship makes you feel insecure/uncomfortable while dating, don't continue it. Doesn't matter if she's bringing him up or if he is, if it's a point of contention do everyone a favor and leave

[@lorainefleeman6011]

He's not completely wrong. He died under shady circumstances. Is she partly to blame for that? Either way, everyone is right. He should leave.

[@stevesmith9459]

@@lorainefleeman6011 Did she send him a dear John letter or did he find out she was cheating while he was deployed? "Suicid* under shady circumstances" was a red flag to me.

[@erdbeerzwiebel3404]

Don't listen to OPs comment guys!! Why do so many people in the comments try to destroy other people's relationships? It's sick...

[@minihorses]

@matrimonyncheese this is the best advice I’ve seen on the comment thread.

[@aestheticemotionghl4002]

Maybe he can tell she isn't over her ex and she still holds him in high esteem (over him, the bf). He's probably in those relationships where you just know and feel the vibe from your significant other that they're still in love or not over their ex, they're withholding love from you (whether intentional or not), and you're always second to that person (whether they deny it or not). Since this guy isn't married to her, I would have to say: run. Let her get over her ex and she can find someone else later on in her own time. I don't think it's a good idea to stay in that kind of relationship. Sometimes, you gotta trust your gut instinct, because it's your relationship and you're the one in it experiencing it. I hope he sits down with his gf and they sort out the truth about this matter and work through it (if it's his problem) or part ways (if it is hers).

[@LoveCoffe56]

Last words summarize your selfish nature. Let go of it is her issue, stay and fight if it is his issue. Love should work both ways

[@tracycameron2580]

I was very young and married a guy whos fiancee had died in a tragic helicopter crash. She was pregnant at the time. I was often compared to her. Our house was full of her belongings...even her old toiletries in the bathroom...he encouraged me to do the sports that she had done, i did and had fun but was never as good as she had been...i didn't have the earning power that she had either...it was pretty terrible being compared to her and ended in violence...looking back i think he had PTSD, im pretty sure he was also into hard drugs an cheating on me too...i was very naive thinking my love could help him heal...too many romance movies. It became a sad traumatic season in my life, it was a long time ago more than 30 yrs.

[@mewgiah8057]

Why is Delony 99% sure the 1st caller is the problem - when it’s common for people to not get over their ex. Especially if they loved them & they died. Being second place or a replacement isn’t an uncommon phenomenon. If John is wrong here then he’s giving the poor guy awful advice 😂 If he feels like he’ll never be as good as her first love, then he shouldn’t feel forced to stay in that relationship. Everyone deserves to feel like “the one” in their relationship and shouldn’t have to settle for being second place.

[@flashthecorgi2053]

He was. Just wait: the guy updated next show and said John changed his life in this short call!

[@Sam11747]

Caller is insecure and being weird. Caller is asking his girlfriend what the late boyfriend did for her, so he can do the same. Going into conversations like that is really weird, and his motivations are questionable.

[@edhog]

When people die they get put on a pedestal. My business partner a decade ago OD’ed. He was an objectively terrible person and I was working on a strategy to exit for 12 months prior to his passing. He was a liar, cheat, aggressive and arrogant. When he passed the same people that were crying foul about him 1 year earlier gathered to say “he was a good man” when he wasn’t. When someone you love dies they get immortalized and turn into an almost holy deity. Statues get erected and they are held high. So of corse this guys feeling like he’s living the Ex’s shadow, because he is.

[@MindsetofAchievement]

@@Sam11747 i am the caller. i have never asked her what he did for her. I allow her space to talk about him in any way that she felt the need to.

[@MindsetofAchievement]

@@flashthecorgi2053 his short advice changed so much for me.

[@chupachuuups706]

3:31 NOO Doc, this is what romance books & lifetime movies get wrong! DO NOT FIX HER! DO NOT BE THE REBOUND GUY! She is alpha-widowed & will ALWAYS be haunted by the what-ifs. LET HER GO because she will NEVER let her ex go. Doc John says why this caller wants to give her a high school type of love, but it’s EMOTIONS that rule women’s hearts, NOT a “mature” love. The ex has her heart BECAUSE he’s in control of her emotions. This is what has women heartbroken over their exes, NOT “mature” love. Dear Caller, LEAVE HER! You won’t be a bad guy for wanting to be lover & pined over like she does with her ex. DO NOT listen to people saying you should be a grown up & stay & suffer for nothing.

[@chupachuuups706]

She may love the caller with all of her heart, but she will NEVER be IN love with him. Even if chooses the caller the rest of her life, she WILL search for & choose her ex in the afterlife. 100%!

[@chupachuuups706]

I think I found the caller ---> @MindsetofAchievement

[@chupachuuups706]

Do not be her support guy

[@robertaturk]

@@chupachuuups706 How do you know? We know nothing about her. Only his projections about her. So we can’t get a complete picture to make a judgement. Personally, I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with him. Stifling.

[@incisivecommenter5974]

​@@chupachuuups706 women are looking for support..your idiot advice is keeping men single.

[@renellbradshaw460]

Happy new year to you brother John

[@RenRenification]

This guy needs to leave. Been in this situation. It’s a huge mistake to stay. If he feels second place, he probably is. He’s taking 100% of the accountability, and there’s no way she isn’t bringing at least 1%.

[@minihorses]

I lost my husband when I was 31, it was the hardest thing I went through. When I began dating again, guys would act jealous of my late husband and it was so infuriating. Seriously how can you be jealous of a dead person? Time heals, just like with a break up and you move on. It is irritating for me to hear someone being jealous like this. Dr. John is spot on with his advice.

[@caezar044]

The caller said that HE’S the one that brings up her ex all the time, not her. So it sounds like he’s projecting his insecurities onto her. It’s such a strange thing to say that he “mourns her ex every day” him every day. Like think about that. If it’s an every day thing, then they shouldn’t be together. It’s not clear if his girlfriend is actually the one instigating these feelings, but everything he said it makes it sounds like he’s projecting. It sounds like he hasn’t had a lot of relationship experience and he’s really insecure and desperate to hold onto this woman.

[@Sam11747]

I agree. He stated that this is his first serious girlfriend, but the dynamic and how he's dealing with it is weird. At a minimum it's insecurity, immaturity and dysfunctional. I think there are some other serious issues going on with wanting to do things her late boyfriend did so he can love her better. What kind of a man says that? It's really weird. Even John had the, "What the?" look on his face.

[@supernotnatural]

Yeah. He just has no capability to believe a woman can love him for who he is. So he is insecure. He wants to be that guy to be loved. Very insecure.

[@genelewis2481]

Yes he’s obviously insecure and if she really cares about him, she can reassure him and those feelings will subside!!

[@alicelee5045]

@@genelewis2481 It doesn't work that way. I was in a relationship with a man who was insecure. There was nothing I could do to reassure him. We are no longer together. The insecurity is his issue to heal with professional help.

[@froonamission1013]

Mourning really never ends and has nothing to do with current loved ones. My mother's death definitely affected my marriage because I lost the most important person in my life. But my husband is mature enough in supportive enough to have been there for me and still is when I have bad days thinking about her. I adore him even more for that. ... Someone died that she loved. She's allowed to think about it. He doesn't sound like he's reached a place in his life where he's ready for this kind of relationship. Would it be any different if she was a widow?

[@lorainefleeman6011]

Yes. This was a boyfriend of only a little over a year. Much different then spending a lifetime together. My oldest brother committed suicide, which changed the course of my life forever at age 31. Much different from losing someone you knew only short term.

[@d1.vegeta]

Let me tell you something bro, if she's not moved on from her late partner then she shouldn't be dating. Leave and don't look back. If she can't put a current relationship as #1 and make you her greatest love over the past guy, then that's a situation you just have to get away from.

[@KatiePoyzer]

He didn’t say anything that made me think she’s doing that. He’s projecting and good for him that he realizes it

[@rpcp5v18]

Run dude 🏃…she’s an Alpha Widow

[@Sam11747]

In addition to running, he really needs to become mature and get some experience. What kind of a man asks their girlfriend what her late boyfriend did, so he can do those things for her? It's really odd.

[@futuremelina]

​@@Sam11747 he needs to be his own person, not trying to replicate a deceased dude

[@erdbeerzwiebel3404]

​@@Sam11747 The Doc talked about this in the video and gave him the perspective he needed to get. Your comment is not helping anyone.

[@exhaust4246]

My exact thoughts 💀 you can't compete with a d3ad guy lil bro

[@Sam11747]

​@@futuremelina I suspect he wouldn't care if the dude was alive.

[@Ioncandi]

Has anyone thought maybe she likes being in this low level relationship because she doesn't have to even try with this guy? She's not alone and she doesn't have to rise to being 100 percent with this guy.

[@ryand7713]

Grats on the million subs!

[@mgee1723]

He wants to be like someone who killed themself, respectfully. It’s weird af and he needs to heal whatever is going on in him

[@lovetoseeit8132]

Like they said, that story is shady and probably didn’t go that way. Respect the fallen soldiers, b*tch

[@BestShootermanUbz]

He said he wants to hear from her on how to love her better based on things her ex did with/for her? Hahahaha that has to be one of the most insane things I’ve ever heard man. Guy reeks of insecurity.

[@MindsetofAchievement]

Im the caller and this is not true. I genuinely have no idea what they have done together haha. Such a weird mixup that people are hearing but thats ok

[@soloac3234]

@@MindsetofAchievementsorry the above commenter sounds so insensitive/blunt. Some people just don’t understand how it feels and the different thoughts, and yes insecurities, this type of situation can create in your mind. All the best!

[@BestShootermanUbz]

@@MindsetofAchievement People are hearing it because that’s how you said it. You obviously didn’t articulate yourself very well in the call but that’s okay. Get your self esteem up and mature. You will never be able to get into a grown up relationship if you never learn to let things go. You’re never going to think you’re good enough.

[@MindsetofAchievement]

@@BestShootermanUbz currently in a very happy relationship and working on myself at the same time thank you

[@yorkeheath]

@@MindsetofAchievementbro don’t listen to the hate, your young. Youth breeds insecurity, you’re figuring this out and you have great self awareness because you acknowledge your insecurities. I’m backing you bro.

[@desertgirl8651]

My sister married this kind of guy and uses him for everything he's got. Leave dude.

[@johnwilliams-ye2uc]

The Doctor was right on the money from the very beginning

[@kyleholcomb0137]

He must of been the hot military guy she says not to worry about. 😂

[@chillin0715]

Odd situation but he has a lot of growing and lessons to learn still.

[@dahlia6446]

He is very aware of his emotions and them well

[@lorainefleeman6011]

Shady circumstances...run...before you're next

[@exhaust4246]

Or maybe she was the one who... 💀

[@sarahgordino6695]

He means that the army is likely covering up his death as it happens frequently when there is a fight or something happens on base especially between upper and lower ranks, it’s swept under the rug as a suicide.

[@showcase0525]

Yall calling it insecurity. That's a symptom, not a root cause. Man needs experience and success in this life department. Then watch the rates and intensity of 'insecurity' plummet

[@JeffrikOG9]

I dated a girl whos husband past away, she would post all about him all over facebook. Nahh i aint doing all that before it even got going.

[@West1010]

This dude is going to get crushed. Start making her invest in you more than you are her & don't be afraid to walk away as soon she stops.

[@random-nz7dy]

To this guy is defense It may very well be that she is making it fairly obvious that she isn't over her ex Maybe he has sensed that from day one and maybe she entered into this relationship when she wasn't ready. Either way it's certainly a situation they need to work through together to see if the relationship has a shot

[@shawnbrooks5293]

He's not secure in himself enough to handle this relationship

[@tedbear6012]

Its not easy in this situation. My wife was with someone 10 yrs and only reason they arent together is because he's dead. Its not a horrible breakup and she hates him now scenario. My wife will live with what if forever . I feel for this kid.

[@erdbeerzwiebel3404]

Insecurity doesn't justify breaking up. Grow up...

[@shawnbrooks5293]

@erdbeerzwiebel3404 it'll lead to it eventually

[@erdbeerzwiebel3404]

​@@shawnbrooks5293 no. You act like people can't change. You throw away your partner for having a flaw instead of working on it with them?

[@films-LaCroix]

I did what this guy on the call did and lost the relationship, hopefully he can stop now

[@GuruOfwisdom]

Nope. That’s a big red flag. I would not have a serious relationship with someone whose ex had passed away anytime in recent history. It would have to be very old news before I would even consider it.

[@catfreeny4145]

I will say props to him for knowing that it’s him who needs to overcome it.

[@rkadri82]

Or, more accurately, it's him who possibly needs to leave. He is not obligated to be feel 2nd place.

[@naturalianoss]

She is just using him as a shoulder to cry on 😂

[@kobyfuessler]

Well of course this is all on the caller. That said, it appears this relationship has been built on a partial foundation of "the dead BF is my constant competition." That's a really shaky foundation. It will take A LOT of work to undo that and create something new (and it may not be worth it in the end). So what's the next best thing to do? Cleanly end this relationship and forge a healthier foundation with someone new. That's not the answer he wants to hear, but it will pay huge dividends in the future for this guy and help him learn the lesson for good.

[@BirdDogey1]

Find someone else dude. When there is doubt there is no doubt.

[@squid_party8810]

When he said he asks about her ex to learn “ how to love her better” I was like🙄 Dude thinks more about her ex than she does

[@icecold8974]

If you feel like that, why are you even with her, just leave smart guy. If you can’t overcome it, you shouldn’t be dating.

[@erdbeerzwiebel3404]

Stop trying to destroy other people's relationships with destructive 'advice'... Grow up.

[@Ashley-fb8ew]

Once the spouse/gf/bf has passed away, they’ve moved on to sainthood and you can never live up.

[@Lee-qx2dv]

Just get a new girlfriend. She may not be ready to really move on until the 2nd or 3rd guy she dates, and your insecurity issues definitely aren’t helping

[@nineteen96]

As hard as it may be, he needs to cut his losses there. there's no working through those things. best to move on with his life and meet someone new, who he doesn't get those feelings with. he's still young

[@CorHor]

Just based off of the title, this man has legitimate concerns. It's unfortunate in many ways, but let's see how this goes

[@DEBTFREEMIKE769]

Plenty of fish in the sea. Catch and release protocol in affect for 2025.

[@stevendavis5095]

Ayyye man being insecure is gross. And it’s the insecure persons job to fix it. Honestly. Rather you leave the relationship or make it so that you find peace in what you offer and trust that if your partner didn’t want you they would be there. Like we need to stop. Way too many people complaint about what they can’t find what they can’t do rather then knowing what they can. That mindset will keep you alone. Do better. It’s not easy but it’s worth it. No one wants to be grossed out by the person they date marry etc. and being insecure rather it be from past trauma or from a situation your partner may have caused isn’t cool. Never will be cool. Victims get victimized. Don’t be a victim

[@tanisha7789]

What he needs to understand is she will always think of him doesn’t mean she can’t love him or have a meaningful relationship sounds like he has a ego problem feeling like he needs to compete with her past

[@no_regerts5176]

This is a “you” problem, dude. She has love to give if you’ll allow yourself to receive it. That, or you will sabotage this and it will then be the reason you never dare to have another meaningful relationship.

[@Livinlivin836]

To be insecure about a dead man shows how incredibly insecure this Alive man is

[@RussianOccupier190]

Because she hasn’t moved on and he is second place in her mind.

[@Livinlivin836]

@ That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Probably one of the most insecure men on the planet.

[@kaizenborntowin]

5:05 Thank you!

[@futuremelina]

It's been three years LMAO why is he competing with a dead dude from three years ago

[@loriduffecy9205]

He is a fixer...but he needs to work on himself before he gets in a relationship

[@lucianaromulus1408]

Dont be 2nd place. If you cant get over an X or someone thats passed, stay single

[@freedomcanada8397]

Maybe she thinks she would be better off with the ex but can only imagine it and i think he sees that and it hurts him.

[@UnAnonKnown]

We all have past relationships. And all of our ex-es had amazing traits and negative traits. Personally, when I start a new relationship I ask my partner to tell me about their ex-es and I foster a space they can always bring them up. Those ex-es are part of their story - their history - their fabric. Denying their existence is denying the things that made your partner who they are. Ask about the ex-es. Learn from them. Let your partner hold space for them. Obviously there's a limit to how much they should come up, but I find most people think it's normal to never bring them up at all. News flash - whether they talk about them or not they are thinking about them from time to time. You can either be part of your partners thoughts, or they can hide it from you.

[@josegrullon024]

Do she compare you to the ex during the relationship? If I can get an answer to that, I can give you a solution 😁🙂

[@Kronos74]

Bro asks about him because men become massochistic in these situations. Rough situation though.

[@GUITARTIME2024]

Caller, she's an Alpha Widow, in 2 different ways: figurative and literal. Its a no-win situation fur you. Let her go.

[@RooiDuiwel]

I'm sorry but totally disagree with Delonys take on this, dude get out of this relationship, you are just going to make yourself and her miserable

[@finxoner]

“I actually want her to bring him up and hear about him” lmao bro is coping so hard wtf. Dude needs to accept he’ll always come 2nd and leave. Some men are pathetic. What kind of relationship is that? Dude stinks of desperation…have some self respect man

[@NotYouMe-q4o]

She surely is think about him not you

[@NotYouMe-q4o]

You won’t I be sure of that dog

[@buggapoo02]

I thought the last caller needs to back away more with daughter.

[@darren8906]

He needs to sell the car

[@5StarNiecy]

John is so fine 😍

[@raymondjames2590]

He got get over his first girlfriend first that's the problem he has

[@James_charles124]

Because it was in high school .at that age nobody falls in love they are just h0 rn 6 teenegers

[@Logistics_Sandar]

I had neighbour who was a virgin when he married a widow…. He lived alone next door, while his wife and kid lived 3 districts away …. My neighbour wouldn’t hurt a fly , and his wife resented him because she didn’t grieve her first husband properly when she married him

[@GUITARTIME2024]

What's "properly".

[@Logistics_Sandar]

I said “properly” because she was pushed ( or strongly encouraged) by her family to marry my neighbour less than a year after the death of her husband…. I don’t know what the “proper” length or way to grieve is , but her berating and comparing her husband ( my neighbour) to her former spouse would mean she hasn’t healed from his death….

[@desertgirl8651]

I wouldn't be with a widow. No way. It seems like a waste of energy.

[@Carlostheyankeefan]

Simp energy

[@bunaynayslay]

Carlos with the incel and insecurity energy

[@rpcp5v18]

@@bunaynayslaycope.

[@Starlightt01]

​@@bunaynayslayCarlos isn't wrong. The caller is riddled with insecurity.

[@awakenedleadershipsublimin3411]

@Starlightt01that he is trying to work on and get advice for

[@Sam11747]

What kind of a man has conversations with their girlfriend about what her late boyfriend did, so he can do continue doing the same? It's simp energy.

[@Kevin-wj4ed]

You won't.

[@mimir1885]

OHHHHH!!! THIS IS WHAT I THOUGHT I WAS ALSO GOING THRU!!!! So, my fiance of 12 years had died of brain cancer abiut 6 years ago. I swore to never date and fall in love again because I knew at that time I couldn't. It felt wrong and selfish and truly just so heartbroken. 3 years later I met my current Boyfriend ❤ At first, yes I was pushing him away and not allowing him to fully enter my life. But he showered me a type of love and not just love but respect and space. Even after 3 years I still cry because things me and current bf would do would remind me of my late fiance ❤😢 and he would be so understanding and loving. Give me hugs even tho I'm literally crying over a past lover. 😭 once he showed me that he respects my late love, he loves my daughter whose 12 now (It's been 6 years since her father died) . He did at one point say he did envy the love I have for me late love, he just hopes I love him the same. I'm so happy my current bf isn't this insecure. Isn't this lost in jealousy over a dead man. My by knows I will NEVER stop loving that man and he knows I visit his grave. And honestly that makes me LOVE my bf so much more. He's truly amazing. He wants my daughter to be able to rely on him. I'm so blessed and I'm so grateful I waited to date and found this amazing man.

[@MindsetofAchievement]

Hi, i am the caller on this episode. And i would just like to say that i have and will continue to always allow her space to hold her late boyfriend in her heart and mind. ALWAYS. I understand this short call can be interpreted in many different ways. I did not even know her late boyfriend. I love this girl with all my heart and will continue to love her. Our relationship has continued to be great as this call was over 1 month and a half ago. This call actually helped me a ton. Please dont think that my insecurities run this relationship 24/7. I will always be there for my girlfriend. It is very hard to articulate all feelings in a 10 minute conversation that will be aired to thousands of people. ❤

[@chupachuuups706]

Your bf is a simp. You are not over your ex & you would 100% choose him if he came back to life. Either now or decades from regardless who you’re with or how much you love them, bc you won’t be IN love with them.

[@GUITARTIME2024]

I've got mixed feelings about your post. You seem very self aware, which is great. I also don't expect you to "stop loving" your kid's Dad. Main thing (I'm saying this as a husband ) is to keep regularly showing and expressing your appreciation for your current bf. It's the number 1 thing so many girlfriends and wives forget to do, and your situation makes it even more crucial. I do think you could probably benefit from an antidepressant to help you avoid the worst days, and perhaps a widow therapy group of some sort. It feels like a lot for your current bf to deal with, and you don't want your kid, at her age, to have to process your bf walking away out of frustration.

[@alicelee5045]

@@MindsetofAchievement You were very courageous to be on the call. I am happy to see your comment setting the record straight. It is impossible to convey the nuances and depth of your experience. I am glad Dr. Delony helped you immensely. Wishing you both the best.

[@Starlightt01]

​@@MindsetofAchievementyou have been alpha widowed. Do a deep dive. You're mentally immature. Find a younger girl who hasn't had that first love experience and be with her. You're living in the shadows with this current gf

[@miketheyunggod2534]

It’s just a chick. Move on.

[@HOLDXSTEEL]

You’ll never measure up

[@exhaust4246]

There's a reason why they're called "alpha widowed" brother. It's not your ego, its not "oh am i the problem?" Its HER. Leave

[@benmyers9030]

Shes staring off in the distance thinking about getting passed around by her platoon

[@ColeneDrusy]

Thanks for the forecast! I have a quick question: I have a SafePal wallet with USDT, and I have the seed phrase. (alarm fetch churn bridge exercise tape speak race clerk couch crater letter). How can I transfer them to Binance?