My In-Laws Are Broke and Asking for Money!

[@patty109109]

They are not retired. They are unemployed.

[@ksx861]

65

[@chcarroll5164]

@@ksx861 Assuming this is the USA, do they know about Social Security? These are people who weren't meeting their obligations to begin with, received a small windfall, and got stupid with it. F'em.

[@louib716]

Exactly. Retirement is earned.

[@deezelfairy]

Yup if the money's all gone and your still able bodied guess what? Ya just come out of retirement! 😂

[@cjhoward409]

@@deezelfairy Yep. We know people that will never be able to retire because as Dave would say “they’re stupid on steroids”

[@LetsTalkPersonalFinance]

If they don't have money for cable, they shouldn't have cable

[@YanilleCastillo]

💯

[@YanilleCastillo]

I am facing same issue with my actual mother . 16k later and she continues

[@NightfireOP]

That was the first thing I caught lol

[@steelcastle5616]

So when the Taxman says, "if you don't have money for taxes, you shouldn't have a house!". Guess who the in-laws are going to look to move in with?

[@lady56725]

Loll

[@prudencek7087]

Cable is NOT a necessity! If they can't pay for cable, then they don't have cable.

[@eurekahope5310]

I have not owned cable my ENTIRE LIFE. No loss!

[@cellogirl11rw55]

Yep. When my husband and I moved in together, we had a TV for our Xbox, our movies, in addition to basic internet for school. Once we got higher-paying jobs, we added the extras that we had been looking forward to. That's how life is. You want it? You work for it.

[@brianjlevine]

You can get a ton of channels with a decent $25 digital antenna.

[@blackworldtraveler3711]

Eureka Hope You haven't missed anything. I'm stuck with it where I live because basic comes with the condo but haven't watched or owned a tv since 2001. But many here pay for the extra channels and a few also use satellite tv as well for some reason. I just don't understand the purpose of cable tv. So many cheaper alternatives.

[@moma5501]

Soo I’m going through something similar to make things simple, I recently gave my in-laws 2k out of gratitude. After my moms passing they took me and my sis in, and now we have two kids. What do y’all think? It’s been 3 years and we try our best by keeping the fridge full & cleaning etc. They do pay for the necessities (not my bills) they basically help w/housing. However my fiancé and I are working on moving soon. They are currently remodeling so I felt it was right.... they wanted a higher number but I just couldn’t get myself to give that x amount. Any opinions? I kinda made a mistake and said I would give them more but I realized it’s too much to give.

[@DisabilityExams]

They had money. They spent it all. They aren't retired any more. The English came up with a word for this sort of situation: "No".

[@constancegomez351]

Nice poem

[@georgesotiriou7051]

My favourite word.

[@bobsworldpodcaststories3895]

Yep

[@oliver18754oliverwarders]

constance gomez Yes. They dont have retirement for now cause they already spent it. They have to work to get it back. No harm done. If they have any ability to get it back they can work for it and do it honestly.

[@samjordan8800]

@JDave Foster Funny thing: the Spaniards and Mexicans also came up with a word.... The *SAME* word! How 'bout that!?!

[@roadrunner9622]

"Can you go back to work?" "Look, do you have the money or don't you?" That right there tells you these people shouldn't get a dime.

[@WildBikerBill]

They're the same folks who vote for anything when a politician says "Only The Rich Will Pay". Because they figure that means you, not them.

[@linjubar]

For a person to go find a decent paying job, in their late 60s, will take some time, if ever they can find one. It will also impact their social security retirement payments. What they earn from the job, may be taken off their benefits. My point being they needed to pay their property taxes immediately, and being told to find a job is not helpful to the urgent need, so I can understand why he didn’t need to hear a lecture on employment. He just wanted to know if he could loan him the money or not. It’s straight talk.

[@scottbaker9066]

​@@linjubar A 'decent job' is not in this man's future. He has to work in a place that sells food (so he can eat) and use that minimum wadge to pay the taxes, or plead with the tax assessor's office - or sell the home and get an apartment. Then he would INVEST the home assets ... that's a bad joke, he will never learn how to invest. He must atone for the hubris of his errors.

[@romancewriter6296]

Happened to me. My mother in law is a spender and was never involved in her marriage's finances. Father in law was a successful engineer, but never put money aside, really, then passed after 4 years of cancer (in France, health care is free, so it was no expense). Then she asked my husband to help keep her lifestyle the same after losing her husband's income. We had a baby and were living pretty tight. I stepped in and told her off. I told him he could decide to maintain her mother's delusion or keep his family. He chose his family. She learned over the next 15 years to manage her money. She resents me for it, but stepping in and telling her off saved my marriage.

[@barbieblue3336]

You don't need to tell people off

[@AstraCielo]

@@barbieblue3336 I don't see how I could have done anything else to protect my family. Maybe it was lost in translation as English is not my native tongue, but I told her she had to live within her own means and adapt her lifestyle to her new income and not to expect us to fill in the gaps. You think I should have allowed her to demand money forever? This is what I mean by telling her off. Wrong words?

[@robinhollenbeck367]

​@@barbieblue3336She explained the truth to someone 'unwilling' to help herself. Probably the best thing to happen. Necessary truth and growing up, regardless of age, often hurts.

[@SeattlePioneer]

@@robinhollenbeck367 You did fine.

[@Jane5720]

@@AstraCielo yeah probably should’ve used different words, but telling her off means tell her to go to you know down below

[@raj-cr4nl]

I would RATHER work 60 hrs a week than ask someone for money.

[@mariec.9102]

I agree🌹

[@jenniferaduddell4601]

Same 👍🏼

[@Musicienne-DAB1995]

Take it from someone who has been in the 'asking relatives for money' bracket: you're right.

[@thisjustin6150]

Might feel different at 67

[@tracym8952]

@@thisjustin6150 different again at 69

[@PInk77W1]

Yikes. I’m 59. High school drop out. My biggest fear is being a burden on my daughter. Actually tomorrow I’m buying a House cash. Life Rule #1. You don’t borrow money from your children.

[@NA-vt6mz]

Him Bike mad respect for u

[@cherylT321]

They’re not borrowing; you can tell they have no intention of repaying any money they receive. They will always have their hands out, expecting their family members to support them!

[@Rudy4759]

✊

[@Lovelyminidonuts]

You need to tell ALL parents that

[@hominem3731]

Enjoy the fruits of your hard labor. God bless.

[@reniehandler2595]

"Either you have the money or you don't"............ I do have the money and you don't

[@MarcyJ2F]

Hehe

[@tired_buthappy]

I laughed out loud

[@themaryfwatkins]

Renie Handler exactly

[@IamtheGL]

W

[@gblyndensrandomreviews]

Oh yeah!

[@ChosenPlaysYT]

Imagine inheriting hundreds of thousands of dollars and blowing it all on oil margins... jeez people are crazy.

[@dutchray8880]

Venezuela based its whole economy on oil production. It worked for a while.

[@frozenkilt]

@@dutchray8880 It worked until the government ran it.

[@dutchray8880]

@@frozenkilt It worked until the oil market imploded. Venezuela has the largest oil field in the world. While the price for oil was up, the government could provide all kinds of freebees to people even with the massive corruption.

[@Duke_of_Prunes]

@@dutchray8880 Venezuela was the richest country in South America. Now they're scrambling to find food and work in Colombia 😣 Very sad.

[@roadrunner9622]

And I bet he's got a dozen reasons why it isn't his fault.

[@speakingtruths4215]

Can’t even imagine a situation where a grown adult’s parents are actually asking their kids for money, especially knowing they have young children and just bought a house. Shame on them.

[@pep590]

Yes. About as shameful as it gets.

[@michelarosier1918]

Yes, in different cultures the parents will definitely asked for money and tell you, are their retirement plan to live on. You said, No, boy they will gave you a long list when they had you as a baby through our adult life taking care of you. I see this in my culture every day. 😨🙏🏼

[@rayneh4092]

My mother asked my husband, myself, my sister and her fiance for money for a car. Mind you she gets assistantance with her rent and water. She also receives social security etc. We have also been taking care of our younger brother with special needs because our mother can barely take care of herself. We just bought a house for all of us. The kicker is that she asked the day before we closed on the house.

[@henri6595]

@@michelarosier1918 I completely understand what you mean. Immigrant familes operate much different compared to most families. I don't expect families that been in America for a longtime to understand.

[@MarksTournaments]

Some one I use to hang out with, his mom made him work from 11th grade to pay all their bills. He 28 and still pays everything for her, she pretty much has her sun as her husband

[@Justsayingthat]

He blew his wife’s money. He needs to get a job.

[@fionasheepwash2718]

A fool and his (wife's) money are soon parted.

[@sungcho5258]

Yep- I remember this time when WTI was negative It was bad

[@Loly920]

First your responsibility is your children, wife and home.

[@danielchavez7343]

Loly920 according to bible it’s your wife then your children lol

[@RKmndo]

@@danielchavez7343 That's pretty blue-pilled, and a good way to lose your wife's respect from "putting her on a pedestal".

[@eclipsos8187]

Wife then children. If your not on the same page with your wife the kids will pick up on that and they will not grow properly no matter how many toys and things you give them.

[@aces4873]

​@@danielchavez7343bible is a fairy tale

[@RaymondDawson-v2w]

Dave so wrong so wimpy here with the fruity "we love you" preamble(apology). Wh ats the point of saying no if you're gonna be soft by giving money or groceries?. Just say no and sound off like ya got a pair!!!

[@jeremywheeler8417]

There's only one way to respond when people ask to borrow money. You say, "I was going to ask you the same thing".

[@hollyb6885]

I like that. I’ll use that one.

[@MP-nj1qy]

I love it😂🤣. I need to use that line sometimes.

[@Rachel-ul8et]

That is hilarious and perfect

[@catherinewetzel417]

😂

[@dinacap2660]

i would live on saltene crackers and tap water before i asked my kids for money

[@darienmccarthy2741]

“I have a list of priorities, and my father in law is not high on that list”

[@gblyndensrandomreviews]

Providers shouldn’t he long-term takers.

[@animal79thecat]

love that!

[@Musicienne-DAB1995]

Had to laugh at that point. Just telling it like it is.

[@ronaldmcnerneyjr3467]

I have a heart condition. My middle son is married to a wonderful young woman in the nursing field. They already talk openly about our collective families future. She has 2 siblings he is one of 3 as well. I'm so uncomfortable with "having" to live with them in the future but they are preemptively preparing for what the reality of all of our futures. I'm VERY blessed and thankful to have 3 really great kids and 2 equally great DILs.

[@EdibleChair12]

@@ronaldmcnerneyjr3467it was your own decisions and integrity that earned you it

[@dipsomaniac124]

Your in-laws are more like out-laws

[@batirtzeurkiaga4973]

Or teens.

[@grantfolds3261]

I like this

[@ozarked2363]

The difference between in-laws and outlaws is outlaws are wanted and you can shoot them.

[@blackworldtraveler3711]

Grant Folds That was pretty good.

[@makethepenniescount]

Lol

[@tiffanyphillips3741]

Relatives and "lending"😂 money...NEVER a good idea. My Mother in law announced that she was going to retire at 62 and asked what each child would "contribute " she was able bodied and could work...just didn't want to. And did so knowing my husband had just been laid off. Unreal.

[@c.w.2234]

Wow, I’m shocked how entitled the seniors are. Did she retire? And how many of her kids helped her out?

[@tiffanyphillips3741]

@c.w.2234 She did. She had 4 kids. Originally one child suggested buying her a house as her apt lease was up and she had quit her job. Kids would own it and and she'd live in it. Crazy. She wound up moving in with that child...and provided childcare for a short time. Eventually the arrangement got to be too strained so he built a "casita" type of structure for her to live in. Can you imagine trying to jointly own a house with family and dealing with the day to day expenses???

[@melescobar8328]

I’m 23, freshly graduated from college, very low debt and obsessed with watching The Dave Ramsey Show! Amazing tips! Using them to pay off my debt.

[@jamesk8891]

I’m watching from the UK 27 debt free working but contemplating moving jobs/ as current support worker role in the project I am in is just too emotionally draining 40 clients is far to many to keep on top of when dealing with life or death/ complex cases and money wise is not worth it. (Not making massive money and by comparison to some of these people on here I am poor but debt free but have more savings then most my age outside of high end professionals)

[@jennym007]

Mel Escobar Fantastic! You are doing something great with your life! I wish I had known about Dave when I was younger...I’m in a good financial position but if I had known Dave I would have been in a great financial position. Good luck and keep saving/investing 👍🏼

[@justinacase2623]

Mel, that's great! Stay on topic here. Old people here are messed up, let's learn from their F-up.

[@michelarosier1918]

Congratulations, and don't give up. This show will definitely will help you get out of debt. I watch every day, not to make dumb mistakes.

[@ImVeryBrad]

You're already killing it. Keep at it!

[@BusArch42]

Dave is spot on. They will not agree to a budget and if he doesn’t cut this off they will be asking for money forever.

[@mikeb8342]

I would have suggested they pay for FPU for the in-laws.... and let a trusted third party review the budget. I would have considered a one-time gift (NOT a loan) with the expectation of them both getting jobs. My mom only stopped working when covid hit.... at 80 (mostly still working because she didn't save properly for retirement).

[@BusArch42]

@@mikeb8342 my parents taught me well and have never needed any help. My MiL didn’t plan but also didn’t work. Not a great approach

[@tiffanyb34]

To make a slight adjustment to an old saying: A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an obligation on mine.

[@n.r.7298]

Amen! Say it again for the people in the back! " Your procrastination is not my emergency." I have used that phrase regularly on entitled family. Sometimes, you just have to go there.

[@brianal7143]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@angelag.johnson1985]

We were taught, Your lack of planning is not my emergency". 😊

[@rleonekc07]

you aren't retired if you constantly have to borrow from others. you don't get to do that

[@d.y.h.w.]

Exactly

[@TheBlackDorothyZbornak]

Funny that you with the three small kids and new house didnt get any of the 'hundreds of thousands' that your mom in law inherited...so I would DEFINITELY keep the same energy

[@wwefanforlife23]

Thank you

[@SF-op5ix]

Great point

[@aatiti2011]

Exactly!

[@Lala-ft1mb]

Yup

[@philipgerry5228]

Be glad they didn’t hand you money.

[@CaseyBurnsInvesting]

If you’re broke you don’t need cable, if anything cable makes you more broke, mentally and the cost of it.

[@samjordan8800]

In addition, cable destroys the mind while supporting things that destroy a person's godliness. Gave my cable box back years ago and don't even miss it.

[@zybard01]

@4862cjc my libraries in Phoenix area have a LARGE amount of movies, tv shows on dvd to borrow for Free and new releases from 5 months old movies. crazy that more people dont know the library is the new Blockbuster but no video games and more homeless

[@DozensOfViewers]

Antenna programming is free.

[@blackhatves1075]

@4862cjc I've never gotten a library card for less then $20

[@fearless6947]

lol spot on brother

[@danikeebler1662]

I am glad the wife and hubby are on the same side of the coin. They have what it takes to go the distance.

[@meomy29]

As long as they don’t worm their way into his wife’s head. If she doesn’t lead these conversations, it won’t be hard for her parents to get into her head and make her believe that he is selfish. I can see people like this pick, pick, picking at the wife , trying to get her to think that if he really loved her, he wouldn’t treat her parents so badly.

[@eks9225]

Give them NO money unless they are in a critical situation. They will learn they need to get jobs

[@MaggieClarkSLC]

@Johnny Five Not buying it! Just saying...

[@1212goose]

There is no critical issue you cant go work for your own $.

[@Oxnate]

Never give money. Give them $100 worth of rice so they don't starve. That's it.

[@mariec.9102]

They think they are in a "critical situation"😆

[@StormyMonday0896]

My parents to a tee. Wasted their money on booze and high living. Then they show up at my house and say, we're moving in. I told them they have to pay rent and utilities, like they did to me after I graduated high school and I was trying to pay for college on my own

[@GinaGargollo]

What did they say?

[@SeattlePioneer]

I actually like the idea of taking them over a bag of groceries from time to time. That would seem to make a useful point.

[@alberttang6955]

Grocery bag filled with beans and rice; rice and beans. Nothing else. 😅

[@casienwhey]

This would be so humiliating to me, I'd rather take any job I could find and live in a cardboard box, than ask my children for money.

[@rebeccaoprea9917]

Don’t let people feed off of you. You don’t work, you don’t eat. Take accountability for your actions.

[@d.y.h.w.]

Agreed

[@blackworldtraveler3711]

Excel Detail They will learn the hard way in a few months.

[@Intuitiverye]

💯

[@mrworld8284]

@@blackworldtraveler3711 what's happening in a few months?

[@MartinLabuschin]

Tell that to your mom when she has cancer

[@patriciamalone3553]

Geez… they could probably get on food stamps.. why should you provide them food. Foolish investing.

[@Hugatree1]

You have zero responsibility for them morally or any other way. I'm a 67 year old widow who stills works and would never ever ask my son for financial help ever! They got into this mess and they can get themselves out of it!

[@soccerguy2433]

hmmm i disagree. there is a moral responsibility. however, that doesn't mean the in-laws (wife's parents) are entitled to his money or to freeload.

[@Imissnormal]

Not true. You can be jailed in 29 states if you don't provide for your parents in need.

[@samtatge8299]

When my wife and I were short of money we cancelled cable and the newspaper, cancelled our cell phones, stopped buying coffee and soda. You get the picture. We never asked for a cent. There was a time when I had my day job and 2 part time jobs. We would’ve lost the respect of my parents and my in laws. Both had “extra” money but we never asked for a loan or a gift. Our kids watched us make it work. Both of them are doing fine and know how to save and economize.

[@mirandap3522]

Right! And that's how it should be done. And if there's any sage wisdom this man's wife learned from her parents about managing money, hard work, budgeting, or how to make things work when money gets tight...now is the time to remind them of what they taught her. You're never too old (or too "retired") to take your own advice!

[@jbeav3902]

The inlaws will always use your wife against you. Indirect control is choice of weapon. This could cause a divorce.

[@blackworldtraveler3711]

J Beav You get what you marry.

[@jbeav3902]

Don't get married because no one afford children

[@cherylT321]

CJ DUNROVIN. Glad you were able to figure out what he was trying to do and worked past it!

[@bhuff8695]

@@jbeav3902 so not true. Just had a daughter in December, Reached baby step 3 in June and will be on to baby step 4 by the end of October. The plan works if you follow the plan. Get on a budget, make a commitment to yourself and your spouse if you have one and GO, GO, GO. My daughter's college and wedding will be fully funded before she turns 5.

[@juliepenrod9063]

Every knows it's way easier to spend some one else's money!!

[@spinergirlkristie]

This is what I've been dealing with for years. My mother came into a large inheritance and blew it in less than a year. Refuses to go over her budget with me. Still expects me to bail her out of her bad decisions. She didn't like getting cut off. TOO BAD. Not my problem anymore. She committed identity theft on numerous family members over the years as well, including against ME. I'm so done.

[@el16ful]

My husband's siblings have jobs but always asking from my husband big lumps of money to borrow but never paid back I just find out that all our savings gone. I'm so mad at my husband All.

[@MarksTournaments]

@@el16ful leave your husband. And I’m a guy.

[@marilynbartlett1850]

@@el16ful he is showing he values his relationship with them over his marriage to you by his actions

[@SeattlePioneer]

[@spinergirlkristie]

@@SeattlePioneer Yes I do want her out of my life. I don't owe you more information than that, but there's plenty.

[@Fullyraw1991]

Don’t enable then. Hate people that have the gall for asking for money

[@Chaoskae]

So you hate kids? Lol

[@xyz987123abc]

Fully he did not ask for money, he demanded it as if it was his.

[@Fullyraw1991]

Chaoskae I don’t have kids lol

[@miztenacioust1758]

This is good for adults with grown children too.

[@callielang-mangram4239]

Yes IT IS VERY GOOD ADVICES FOR ADULT CHILDREN who feel as if every dollar & dime their parents have is theirs and should be used for their personal needs. We did this and sat down with a plan that was just AMAZING for 2 of our 5 kids. My husband & l Wish our parents would have offered us a plan. Our plan was rejected by 1 child & t other is working towards t plan. Like with our children theses in-laws feel ENTITLED to what others have & work hard for. With this attitude they need to try it their own way.. Hint: GET A JOB/WORK!

[@Ces999919822]

The second he said either you have it, or you don’t would have made the decision easy.

[@sammorreale3372]

These 60 somethings should be ashamed of themselves! I will be 75 in June and i still work my ass off. I have almost a million saved but I just keep hustling. It keeps me young and I don't have to worry about running out of money!

[@marioncannon9924]

What a miserable life you have. You can't take it with you

[@Steven-hq3go]

You must enjoy your job and not everybody is as able bodied. Retirement sounds great but it's up to the individual as just because you don't want to many 60-65 year olds do want to retire

[@laurijohnson7754]

@@Steven-hq3goyes. Also some have jobs that are very physical and they can’t work past 65.

[@BlazerLz]

​@@Steven-hq3gothe they should have made a plan to retire. Dollars in your bank account don't happen by accident and we need to drill this into people's head when they're young. No one is entitled to "retire".

[@BlazerLz]

​@@laurijohnson7754then why didn't they work their way into a job that didn't require hard physical labor in their 60s? There are lots of jobs that don't require heavy labor.

[@Divested_Jedi]

I would love to hear a follow-up about the in-laws. That is insane!!!!! How dare they feel entitled to his hard earned money.

[@pulidobl]

They can throw out it‘s cultural (like my in-laws)🙄

[@archangel1221]

The curse of money is the jealousy, envy, and (sometimes) entitlement others have regarding it. "You have it, and I don't, so you have to provide as I demand" ...... And the worst part is even when you help them, they will hate you and resent you for it.

[@kajuta240]

I had a homeless guy tell me he was retired after I pointed to the help wanted in the parkinglot when he me asked for money. I told him he retired too early.

[@leahwangui5029]

😂😂😂 retired and homeless in one sentence. 💀

[@sensimania]

It's not easy to apply for jobs with no fixed address or smart interviewing attire. Not sure what physical state he was in, but could you imagine what the parking lot manager would say or think if a person walked in (smelling like a$$ and looking like a scarecrow) asking for a job?

[@Dreamer-by4nk]

I’m 63 woman, worked my whole life and still is, and would never ask or expect money from my kids! They are not entitled and need to get back to work and fix their own problems. Wow!

[@chiefguns1980]

76 here, and would never ask my kids for money. Also, if there is an inheritance for them when I die, OK, if there isn't, OK too!

[@BlacksmithBets]

Wow, they used the money for margin calls, they literally gambled their money away without taking responsibility for it. Crazy!

[@scarpfish]

It amazes me how many people will prioritize a luxury before making sure they have a roof over their heads.

[@WildBikerBill]

That's been true for a long time. Just drive through the poor side of town and see all the vehicles with fancy wheels, lowered or lift kits, and people covered in tattoos.

[@TeKnoVKNG23]

Tell them they can go back to work and end it. Set the boundary now because if you let this go it will lead to a divorce. Saw this happen with a best friend of mine. He was very successful, married a woman a few years younger than him who was also successful but came from a poor family that had nothing and they basically saw him as the cash cow and started inserting themselves into the marriage left and right. Guilt trips about everything, turned his wife against him to try to get him to give them money and pay for things, etc. Since he had a nice house and they lived in a trailer park they expected him to set them up with a nice apartment, etc. Thankfully he realized it early(it also helped he found out his nurse wife was cheating on him with a doctor during her "late night" shift) and divorced her quickly, cut his losses and moved on.

[@andicantu6490]

This story could be a Netflix movie.

[@bonniemcmaken3966]

His wife is on the same page as him.

[@BeHope113]

This caller sounds genuine. Hope everything is ok for you, your wife and children.

[@bk_deltor9155]

In laws gambled their inheritance money away with the oil market and, they're mid 60s retired, and absolutely refuse to go back to work. They did not save up enough in their lifetime to date for retirement, the inheritance was their hail mary and they lost. Now expecting their children/Son in law who just got a house and has 3 children to go support them and are guilt tripping to get it.

[@genxx2724]

You explained it better and more clearly.

[@sensimania]

They had the mindset of "you can't spend it when you're gone", but didn't anticipate living beyond 65

[@sangriabiscus2856]

Never tell family or relatives or friends what you make. Jealousy happens when you do better than them.

[@user-mv9tt4st9k]

That is an excellent principle. We taught our son not to discuss or answer questions about money or possessions. We live modestly, and well within our means. 😉

[@anndennis7163]

except for a spouse no one should have any access to any personal and financial information. Keep it in your safe and don't tell anyone.

[@castlequay2327]

that is so true.....my husband and i get family jibes all the time because he has a valuable vintage car. we live frugally and help our grown up children but our siblings make green eye comments.

[@sensimania]

You don't have to tell people what you make, but they will certainly make an educated guess based on your lifestyle and job. They're more likely to assume that someone with a white collar job has lots of disposable money compared to someone who works in the supermarket. I've NEVER told anyone what's in my bank account. I'm not wealthy, but I have a corporate job and can afford a lower-middle class lifestyle. Even though I live a modest life (10yr old car, annual or bi-annual holidays etc) I basically don't splash out. But that hasn't stopped people from asking me for money over the years.

[@WildBikerBill]

@@user-mv9tt4st9k "We live modestly, and well within our means." This is the problem right here - many have no clue what this means.

[@Kell4088]

I helped my in-laws out with money…ONCE. When I saw their lack of gratitude and sheer entitlement I said F-THEM. Will not happen again.

[@lisadearing5960]

My old boss always said “no good deed goes unpunished!” He’s 100% right!

[@yamamancha]

We're about to see 1000x the number of people in this situation.

[@jackfrosty4674]

best place to be homeless seems to be Hawaii. Lots of social programs.

[@raeginaweber1298]

Wow I am here. I have covered the grandparents in their housing needs for 15 years. Fast forward to today and I provide the house, the utilities, the cell phone plan, and the property maintenance. Now I have 2 kids in college and one in high school. When do I get to say no? I feel good about my financial situation but they are still making stupid financial decisions.

[@bsolutions525]

When do you say no? Should have been 15 years ago. Grandad: hey, can you pay for this bill? You: No You right now: multimillionaire Grandparents: financially responsible people

[@lovethemflowers]

@Raegina Weber - Maybe you can just tell them that you need the money you're spending on them for that one in high school when they go to college. It seems crazy to have to cover their lifestyle. What WOULD they say if you told them you need the money for the third child's college?

[@sweetshopadmin7779]

Wow you're a living talking typing doormat! Honestly the worst part of that is that A: You have KIDS & B: they're STILL making bad decisions?!? You are literally squandering your children's inheritance on the homeless... There must be more to this story

[@n.r.7298]

@S W sorry. Hit the down arrow on accident.

[@tomassmith2088]

You get to say no right now

[@carlT1986]

Your family comes first. Shame on these people for expecting or demanding money from you. If you give them money then that money does not contribute to your retirement not to mention all the expenses you have regarding your children (spent gladly - children are expensive but worth it) . Drowning people can and will drown you in a panic to try and save themselves.

[@lifestylehomestead]

It's unacceptable to take care of people who are unwilling to take care of themselves. Be the dope to do that and take all the consequences that come with it. It's not LOVING to enable irresponsible, victim, entitled, greedy behavior. It's the opposite. I have recently started listening to Ramsey and am so happy to hear people voice these same sentiments. Grow up. I can't do entitled idiots. Family or not.

[@jennym007]

Terrible when you’ve got arrogant family members. My brother has a very decent wage and if I was in trouble financially I would NEVER ask him for help. I would sort it myself and live within my means. The FIL should be ashamed. Great son-in-law though 👍🏼

[@jgw9990]

Well family can help if it's not your fault and you have the right attitude. Think the problem is 1) it was their fault and 2) they didn't want to work on it.

[@jeremywheeler8417]

My brother borrows about a hundred or $200 a year from me. Even though he isn't as financially savvy as me, I never have any problem loaning him the money because he always sets up a payment plan and is faithful to pay it back. Sometimes I just forgive it and tell him not to worry about the rest, After he's made consistent payments for a while.

[@el16ful]

@@jeremywheeler8417 my husband's brother is always borrowing more from my husband( him and wife both work) without paying the prior debts 2k. Meanwhile organizing is son's birthdays at heavy costs. I'm so sick 😫

[@markd5067]

I listened to this out of curiosity and found that it supported what I had already decided to do with my In-Laws. While they currently have money, he won't when she passes, and she will shortly due to her health. Currently they are "too smart" to speak with us about their finances, so talking with them about it isn't an option, and won't be until SHTF. I have already had this conversation with my father, numerous times over the past 25 years, and as predicted, has decided to "manage his own money", which in reality he isn't. Early on he asked for money but stopped as the answer was consistently "only if you agree to our terms" to budget his income. Again, no dice. My priority is my family....end of story.

[@dcg590]

The older generation was never taught about money. They think working one job for 40 years and putting into savings account is the only thing to do. My parents are in their 80s and refuse to listen.

[@jvsaints3028]

@@dcg590 Well, I am the "older generation" and I can say that is not true for all. It may be true for some. So sorry. I would not DREAM of asking my children for money. I would not pass up that opportunity to learn a great lesson. I'm in great shape for retirement and I worked at it.

[@TheDecoCottage]

Who has cable anymore? Most people I know have cut the cord and have a streaming service or two.

[@aolvaar8792]

$150/mo for Unlimited Internet at 300mBits/sec

[@Denniss7420]

@@aolvaar8792 That's Ridiculous! $50/mo for internet and I can watch what I want.

[@aolvaar8792]

@@Denniss7420 My electronic entertainment/cell phone plan is +$600/mo

[@pkmcnett5649]

May not be actual cable

[@fog137]

Like Judge Judy tells her family when they ask for financial help. She asks them how badly they need the help because she will only help them once.

[@elmateo77]

If they don't have the money to be retired, they might just have to un-retire and get some jobs...

[@ENCwwe]

Sometimes it’s not that easy for older people. When you’re 70 years old you tend to have health difficulties. My grandparents are a bit older than them and are not capable of working.

[@elmateo77]

@@ENCwwe I understand that, it's a very unfortunate situation. But they seem to be making no effort to live frugally, and it's not his responsibility to fund their lifestyle.

[@ENCwwe]

@@elmateo77 True

[@ENCwwe]

@@ברונמןמלכותִי Assuming they still have the physical ability to do so. That kind of work isn’t as easy as you might think, especially when your first learning it.

[@ENCwwe]

@@ברונמןמלכותִי That’s cool do you raise rabbits?

[@alexc5369]

Dave: -provides good advice Dr D: I like this guy

[@top.secret000]

I’m a simple man: If I see doctor D, I skip to the next video.

[@Khaltazar]

That sounds like the story a lady told me the other day saying her dad was asking for $1,000 to pay for his property taxes and when she bought a car instead because she needed transportation to and from work, her parents were upset she bought a car over paying for their property tax.

[@lovetobe6118]

Sounds like she needs to cut ties and disappear.

[@pkmcnett5649]

They had alot of gall.

[@dp4kallday]

I would say "No" pretty easily! Not my responsibility to take care of irresponsible people!

[@karenabrams8986]

My father in law is like this. Gambling addict who would love to get a revenue stream out of his daughter. Hell no. All of our extra resources will be going into our kid’s educations. Not his entertainment and continued bad habits. 🙅‍♀️ Our plan for him becoming helpless is to let the Drs in the ER figure it out and find a nursing home for him. He’s got no assets other than a car so Medicaid will cover it. Easy peasy.

[@Lauren-vd4qe]

I hope your wife is in agreement with this.

[@karenabrams8986]

@@Lauren-vd4qe she is.

[@BusArch42]

I’m so glad you are setting boundaries. My MiL is also a gambling addict and she almost destroyed our marriage with her financial demands. Finally my husband put his foot down. It hurt though and it damaged my trust in him and because it went on from when he was 18 until he was 55. 25 years of marriage with that hanging over us

[@symonekumar4043]

I needed this today. I can see that I'm headed towards needing to have a similar conversation with my own mother.

[@garyclark6427]

I’m 69 and watching this during a lunch break from work. If I went back to work from being retired 22 months, then others can too, barring disability…

[@batirtzeurkiaga4973]

Great conversation. This is about decency and self respect. And the lack of it -sadly.

[@simplyhandy2769]

Biggest mistake we make as our parents kids is we tell family our income. I keep telling im broke and my wife is broke!

[@sandradavis33]

So as of 7/31/2020 there are 34 thumbs down, meaning at least 34 people who listened to this, think that other people owe them something in this life to make up for their own mistakes...........sad.

[@ALEXANDER1318]

Some people downvote videos to let the algorithm know they don't want this kind of video recommended anymore. Not all of them disagree with the message. Just saying.

[@av8tor261]

Always tell in-laws this, 'I'm sorry your in a spot. If I had the money I would give it to you but, I'm total tapped out."

[@turboredcart]

Didn't you say you lost the bulk of your nest egg on online gambling? I am pretty sure you are broke.

[@HamiltonRb]

You are a nicer person than me because I would say I worked for my money and you will have to do likewise because I am not a bank.

[@jennym007]

AV8TOR That’s lying though because he obviously has the money. I like Dave’s answer as it stops them asking in future as an entitlement.

[@eurekahope5310]

Or at least: I am saving to make sure your daughter and grandbabies never want for anything. If they are remotely decent parents, they will care more about their daughter than their cable.

[@geofferypmeyers]

I wouldn’t say that because it implies that I may help someday if I had the money.

[@Jni470]

Love this! Dave's idea about I will give you something IF I am allowed to audit your finances. That is so smart and fair.

[@EpicAngelxx]

I fear this with my parents. They are terrible at finances and use their credit cards without paying it off right away as if it is free money. As for me and my soon to be husband, we are both good at saving and being financially smart. I do not want them to think they can depend on me in the future because of their terrible financial mistakes. That is not my problem.

[@jwebby85]

If you come to me asking for money, I do exactly what Dave said. I’ll help you, but I’m in control. We make a budget that I approve, I look at everything you spend money on and decide what stays and what goes. If you respond to my terms with “I don’t need your help” then I say “Then you don’t need my money. Best of luck.” I don’t care if they’re related to me or not.

[@Coach__B]

Me and my wife decided long ago we don't want to be burdens on our children. We have taken steps to insure that doesn't happen short of a total collapse of our society. We will do everything to ensure our kids are successful and hopefully leave them with a substantial inheritance. All this comes from my wife's parents attitude towards us and money. Early in our marriage they took several thousands of dollars out of my wife's bank account that they had access to. We were newlyweds and stationed in Germany and had yet to make it back to the USA to change banking access. It caused a lot of turmoil in our young marriage and almost sunk us. Here we are 27 years later and it has served as an example for what we never want to impose on our own children. I still cannot understand how family can feel entitled to their own families money. One of the greatest sins a parent can impose on a child is to knowingly rob them of a future.

[@jackfrosty4674]

How about when child is in high school and works to buy old truck and tune it up and then dead beat drug parents take it from her. Heard about this from others. So terrible to see parents treat kids wrong.

[@joelashdod7712]

I’m 70 years old and basically lived my life according to Dave’s rules years before I ever heard of him. Why? Because they are common sense. Retired now and living very well. Also have money for gifts and charity. When we got married we bought a home but had nothing left over for a honeymoon or furniture. Saved for 2 years to pay for the honeymoon. Had lawn furniture in the living room for 5 years. Invested 20% of yearly income. Bought modest new cars and kept them for 10-15 years. No sympathy for young people driving $50,000 cars, taking cruises, dining out often and complaining they can’t afford a new home.

[@marthafazzini9835]

Exactly. We did the same. Still do.

[@ThreePuttBogeys88]

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Go back to work pops.

[@batirtzeurkiaga4973]

Chop chop!!!!

[@douglaswilliams6834]

Yup. I live in a smallish town and there are literally at least ten places hiring within a fifteen minute drive from me. Working big box or fast food may not be glamorous, but if you're 65 and broke because of bad decisions you might have to swallow your pride instead of trying to sponge off your kids who are raising your grandchildren.

[@batirtzeurkiaga4973]

@@douglaswilliams6834 I couldn't have said it better.

[@Justin-jf4ub]

Oil? Come on? They are not 25. They are 65! If they act like they are in their 20's then treat them that way, financially speaking. Give them an allowance based on a budget, if they play by your rule. Like Dave said, they need u as an auditor

[@michellerichardson3090]

My bf's friend put money into oil, but she put a couple of hundred bucks. She lost most of what she earned from the year before.

[@RJRussoVids]

Dude, you’re NOT one of your in-laws’ children! You’re responsible for taking care of your wife and kids. Period. These folks may be retired, but if they don’t plan to work then they’re another not so nice word ending in ed!

[@georgewagner7787]

I was gonna say they're not his children!

[@sbentsen2714]

Ive heard of quite a few "retired" couples or houses who haven't saved any money for property taxes, and are expecting a bailout

[@WildBikerBill]

This is the downside of endless emergency government bailouts for everything from natural disasters to bad economic times. People greatly underestimate how many build that expectation of getting bailed out into their thinking. It's similar to how many think because of Social Security, they don't have to plan for retirement - the government has done it for them. And then they discover it isn't going to pay anywhere near what they assumed.

[@steelcastle5616]

That "I like you" (1:30) came out of nowhere. It even stunned Dave and the caller for a second or 2.

[@sharyn4271]

Steel Castle If he had followed through immediately with the "why" instead of pausing, it wouldn't have been so strange.

[@alexc5369]

Caller:....."I ..like you too?"

[@CamLof21]

That guy is so cocky it’s unbelievable. I can’t be the only one that’s noticed it.

[@tomassmith2088]

He should have said pause lol

[@burningcoal5705]

My In Laws: "We're broke and need money!" Me: "Sorry to hear that so am I haha"

[@ADKMan]

The only time my parents ever gave me money was 1 o’clock in the morning when I had to go 3 hours away to a hospital because my first born was premature! The ATM max was $400......my parents gave me $500 so I’d have enough.....I paid them back a few weeks later!! Oh my daughter did just fine.....now a junior in college!!!

[@Splexsychiick]

That's kind of sad. And probably untrue. You just not rating the smaller sums. I think its sad because my parents are in extremely different income brackets but they give me money not only when I need it but because they love me.

[@ADKMan]

@@Splexsychiick when I was a kid yes they gave me money but since I’ve been out of college no!! It’s very true, believe it or not and it’s not sad. Sad is an adult that sponges off their parents!!

[@pkmcnett5649]

What is untrue?; that the person borrowed money to deal with the emergency of a premature birth? Sure hope you are not so naive as to think that does not happen.

[@Kimmotion1]

It's sad when the children are more mature than the parents.

[@NS-pf2zc]

Hungry isn't cable and vacation money. I make my kids learn responsibility by earning money and paying for their wants and eventually needs, but asking kids for money is insane. I'd work my old bones to death before asking them to pay for cable. Which I dont have anyways because it is stupid. I'm working too hard for TV.

[@jill9606]

How awful to not only not leave anything for your children but also to act so entitled to your son in law’s income considering your daughter doesn’t even work!

[@janhatcher6991]

Dave he does not owe them anything not give them any money. They're grown adults they can figure it out but they don't seem to want to.

[@2-old-Forthischet]

My story was just the opposite. We just got married and bought our first house. My in-laws were mega rich! I was a phone tech and one of my wife's uncle wanted me to help fix his phone problems for free. This uncle never worked a day in his life. I flat told him no.

[@KaliElaine]

It’s hard and a heavy burden however momma and daddy y’all gotta work. This is such a difficult conversation.

[@financiallift6185]

Exactly why margin can be very dangerous if you don't know what you're doing. If you don't know how to invest, you'll lose money, if you don't know and you use margin, you'll lose only faster

[@yaydog2702]

Man I know someone just like this , and now they wanna live with them . Just a big nightmare

[@raustadt]

Say ‘NO’ . It’s not that hard. I’ve told my parents no. My dad is 76 and back at work due to his inability to control his finances.

[@jamesk8891]

Damm by that point really you should at least be able to live like a hermit debt free if nothing else.

[@rogers5622]

We are retired --Must be something with that age group(60s) feeling entitled to their kids income.. My mother says the same thing 🙄

[@RichardWalls]

Tough situation. Slippery slope when it comes to family and money...but if they're irresponsible with money, them getting money from family isn't going to help much in the long run.

[@downeykids]

I use to have to borrow and hated it. Haven't borrowed in over a decade. Funny thing is people hated when I borrowed because I was constantly hunting them down to pay them back. They would say it feels like they owe me money.

[@kalo0806]

This is my greatest fear. Having to support my parents in their retirement because they didn't save enough. I'm in my early 20s, and my parents have 10 years from retirement, but I look at the cost of nursing homes, and medicare and the rising cost of goods and services and I'm panicking. I am so very scared. For them. For me.

[@n.r.7298]

Don't panic. They have lived their life. Live yours. That said, start having conversations now on what THEY plan to do and HOW they'll do it. Especially, if they're only 10 years out. You, at 30ish (possibly with a new partner, house, kids, etc.) should not be funding a retirement and health expenses. Particularly when they can still mitigate. Maybe one or both work part time. But quiting and expecting you to pick up the slack is not appropriate. And no, it has nothing to do with how much you care for them as your parents. Caring = planning.

[@tired_buthappy]

My in laws are like this too. I do not want to pay for their bad decisions.

[@jackfrosty4674]

medicaid. Medicaid nursing home.

[@hystericalstares7507]

They aren’t 10 years from retirement if they keep this up. Retirement is a privilege for those who save enough money to live off of in their later years. If they don’t have the money to retire, then they don’t get to retire. I know many people who have worked deep into their 70s. It’s not ideal, but if you don’t have the money to retire, you don’t retire.

[@FreeTheRobots]

No is still a word in the dictionary

[@RK831]

"We're really unclear on what we should be doing as their children to guide them during this time." Step one: drive them to Wal-Mart Step two: show them what a greeter does Step three: help them fill out an application for employment.

[@NickRaeff]

I want to hear a follow-up call from this guy!

[@mmc9828]

As Dave says, "NO" is a complete sentence!

[@tomj528]

I've looked over people's finances when they ask for a "loan" and it's always the same problem...spending. The worst being a male single relative of my wife that's spending more than double the two of us do in a month. Why on earth would I ever give anyone money to fund a lifestyle significantly more lavish/wasteful than our own? BTW, we don't have cable either, not because we can't afford it but because it's not worth it at any price.

[@Denniss7420]

Yes, I have an "adult" nephew who blows thousands of dollars trying to have a drag race daily driver diesel truck. Total waste of money & priorities when he doesn't have money for anything else.

[@tomj528]

@@Denniss7420 I know a guy that thinks that his snowmobiles, atv, boat and truck are financial assets. He's got nothing else but figures he's set for life. I've always been a car guy but I've been extremely low-buck about it.

[@jacquelineglitter4328]

I got rid of my cable years ago.

[@merrifrusti318]

Don't give them your money. They're grown ups.

[@calvinsokha]

Cable is NOT a necessity! If they can't pay it then don’t have it!

[@colehuffman4172]

Everything about this was reasonable and no-nonsense. I’m glad that the caller is level headed and wants to approach this in a mature and reasonable way