I'm Anxious And He's Avoidant (The Anxious/Avoidant Trap)

[@brego12317]

This video is very insightful. The same things happened to me with the same excuses and avoidant reasoning. She didn't want to lose me ,nor I her but she dropped that bomb on me and moved on to the next guy with the same copy and paste expectations. Needless to say she was friend zoned and that didn't work out. Never heard from her since.

[@catdeluxe5291]

Everyone becomes anxious with an avoidant...

[@DeniseMackie-q4l]

Avoidants get anxious with an anxious

[@quantumperception]

Everyone gets avoidant with an anxious... See how toxic your attitude is? A mature person would realize that they are half the problem, and not just blame the other side. But I understand, anxious types often need to work on taking personal accountability and responsibility, and stop acting like a victim of the outside world. Just like we are great about taking responsibility and control of our actions and feelings, but we need to work on being more open and less controlling. But these relationships only work if BOTH people acknowledge their part of the problem, and don't blame the other person. Seems like that needs to be your first step, not playing the victim and blaming others, and working on yourself.

[@rubberducky1507]

Meh … I just ditched him . Game over 🙌

[@CryptoTaurusMoon]

​@quantumperception if you've never dated a severe avoidant, you don't know what you're talking about. I'm very secure and I've never experienced a true avoidant, until I did and it's something very different. Borderline abusive. Unfortunately, avoidants often do not reflect on their behaviors and will avoid emotional growth/maturity.

[@Sammy-jt5sv]

Can you do a video on “when the avoidant gets mad” thank you!

[@DonaldMeyers-v8c]

That's a good idea! Like that suggestion

[@therocknrollcook]

Ugh they can get mean and nasty 😮

[@catdeluxe5291]

My avoidant used to shut down and ignore my text and calls..and he needed a month to say why was he mad, its like communicating with the wall, very exhausting..

[@DonaldMeyers-v8c]

@@catdeluxe5291 exhausting is the perfect way to describe it.....I too have an avoidant........personal question, you don't have to answer if you don't want to, does yours have a history of being abused at all? Mine does unfortunately and I think the trauma is why she is so gunshy and avoidant

[@catdeluxe5291]

@@DonaldMeyers-v8c Yes, mine was emotionally abused by his stepfather who made him into a personal slave, he was beaten up with no reason, and mother didn't do anything to protect him...

[@jeffreyyeo]

Yeah i got the "I cant give u what u want" and "its better to just be friends" before. ultimately they are confused, scared and selfish its in their subconscious and its their way to cope. when she told me to be just friends i straightaway tell her its impossible

[@aristote.ruhinduraruhindur1375]

has she been reaching out to you? Same thing happened to me.. she ended it out of nowhere

[@jeffreyyeo]

@@aristote.ruhinduraruhindur1375 yes after 4 mths of NC she reached out and we got back together again

[@carlfreiermuth5424]

u guys are doing a great service for humanity ❤️🙏

[@lucywoods6275]

After doing the work I can see I’ve been both anxious and avoidant depending on who I’ve been in a relationship with.

[@fionakarbel258]

I’m in this exact situation… it’s been 13 months of this pain. He’s moving to Georgia for work over the summer, and I’ll be staying with him for a week. The 🤡 I am is still hoping that by spending a concentrated week creating experiences and memories together that it will trigger him to actually progress things between us. I keep telling myself that if that doesn’t do it, I’ll have to cut him off like this girl did and go no contact because it’s just too painful to keep going on. Georgia or bust. The last time I tried to cut him off he came to my house crying that he doesn’t want to lose me, but if things never change it can’t keep going like this forever…

[@RobertoGonzalez-cs5ed]

Thank you for being there for us 🙏

[@sarazephyr8224]

Can you talk about how if you started as an secure or dismissive after being with an avoidant, Can make you become more anxious? I wasn't anxious with other people until dealing with them..

[@catdeluxe5291]

Same question...from being secure, I started being anxious with an avoidant..

[@Supsup7777]

I wrote in my prayer journal right at the start that he seemed aloof and potentially lazy in love. Turns out he is avoidant. It was bad for me from the jump. I walked away about three weeks in.

[@DonaldMeyers-v8c]

Are there any videos on dating someone who was abused or how to navigate some of those avoidant type issues within an abused partner?

[@rubberducky1507]

He always pulled away.. then would come back .. over and over again. He came back again but I was gone this time .

[@jelenashome1725]

Coach ,what does it mean if my DA ex liked a story I posted (It was a picture of myself) during NO CONTACT? We've been in NC for more than 3 weeks.

[@lauracasablanca3500]

Hey coach how do I email you a success story? Laura

[@tobebuilds]

I appreciate that your videos don't paint attachment as black and white

[@JessicaLopez-i2r]

It's been 1 year of separation and he still hasn't gotten back together with me

[@serfanful]

Hang in there, you are in the right path

[@Supsup7777]

His silence says it all.

[@canis556]

My ex is avoidant, broke up and pulled away 3 times. Every time she came back, but the paper cuts exhausted us

[@canis556]

Open and mature communication doesn't work. They just cut You off from time to time and what kind of relationship is that

[@yasprettytm1165]

OMG, same line with my ex 😢

[@lesleysole6427]

My partner says the same. I'm.fiest one to.showed him love go out .not based on just sex ..

[@DeniseMackie-q4l]

Each 'style' pushes the other to be extreme in their ways . The anxious becomes more needy and manipulative, the avoidant backs away more You's seem to take the anxious side here.

[@Miamore32124]

When I asked my boyfriend (now my ex) if sex equals love, he said yes it does. My next question was if he was in love with everyone he'd had sex with, he went blank. This is a guy that said he'd had sex with thousands of women, after a long marriage. Total time he was living this sex=love was maybe 3-4 years. So, according to him, he'd had sex with several thousands of women within 3-4 years. Not sure I really believe that, and what really made me concerned was this.... and this was within 4 months of our relationship. I'd noticed a small blemish on his penis. Of course I said "what is this?". His reply was "it's herpes, so now you have to be with me. It's normal, most everyone has this". Wtf!!!!¡!!!! Really??? After that I had zero reason to be with him sexually and as you'd expect, I thought of sex with him as a life sentence of shame and medical appointments. Luckily, thankfully, I've no symptoms of what he said. I really wonder if he just said that because he's THAT INSECURE. Craig, would a man say something like this just to keep a girl, and why? I've zero interest in having sexual relationship with this person. Only trying to understand what mindset would think that this is normal.

[@Michelle-jr8ql]

How can he trust her. She left her “Fiancé” for a man she barely even knew. She can do the same to him, she’s not loyal. Coming from an avoidant. She’s good enough to have sex with, but not to take seriously. He’s a karma. He’s never gna take her seriously. She better 🏃🏽‍♀️

[@Monkeydesu69]

Yeah, I was thinking this too? Her being only 2 months out of an engagement is a huge red flag.

[@reinakobe]

Herman Munster 😂

[@lorip4087]

That is who I was picturing too. Lol