I’m not having fun anymore..

[@Aarimous]

As a solo game dev I want to focus on enjoying my journey as a full-time dev, but I've found it's easy for me to ruin my creativity process though anxiety and added pressure of making a commercially successful game. Checkout the Hexagod demo over on Steam: store.steampowered.com/app/3059390/Hexagod/

[@Ibadullah]

im 7th view

[@Ibadullah]

how about you make a side project. something small yet fun.

[@igork1336]

@@Ibadullah small side projects really helps

[@leorodrigo11]

I've been through this before, and I found that my motivation for making games decreased drastically when it became my main source of income. Honestly, at first, I was very excited, but soon the obligation took away the excitement of working with games. Now, having a main job, my desire and excitement for making games has returned. Unfortunately, with lot less time.

[@leadensage]

That’s a problem I wish I had instead of the problem of finding time for an indie gamedev side hustle.

[@foldupgames]

Makes sense. Passion is replaced by obligation. If making games is a job, you can't pursue it out of passion for it. Instead, you have to find joy in the journey and successes.

[@L.C.F_695]

Wow, thank you for sharing this! As someone who recently started out in game dev, I can relate so much. The pressure of knowing that productivity depends entirely on your own energy is so real, and it’s amazing to hear someone else talk about the mental load that comes with it. Balancing work and self-care is one of the toughest things about this journey, but it sounds like you’re handling it with a lot of self-awareness. A couple of things that have helped me manage that balance: First, I try to set small, achievable daily goals, like 1-3 tasks max, so I don’t feel overwhelmed. On days when I’m just not feeling it, I focus on simpler, routine tasks that still keep the project moving, like organizing assets or doing a bit of research. Those days can feel less taxing and can still contribute to progress. Also, don’t underestimate the power of stepping away for a bit! I take breaks for things that genuinely recharge me, whether it’s a quick walk, a few hours with friends, or even a whole day off when needed. Taking care of yourself isn’t just beneficial-it’s essential for keeping your creative energy alive. Just know you’re not alone, and your honesty is inspiring. Every game dev I know has been through this, and by sharing your journey, you’re helping others remember that it’s okay to take things one day at a time. Keep going. I can’t wait to see Hexagod come to life, and I know others will love it too!

[@ChainShotGames]

I'm making a game that is 100% unprofitable. I only find immense joy in making my game, because this is the game that I have always wnted to make. I can create everything that I could possibly imagine in my own little world, as if I'm playing god. Once you become a master at your craft, then game development becomes so much more fun. Not to say I've mastered it, hell my game is so broken it hardly even compiles. I believe in you man, I really like your channel, and I believe you can get back in the game dev zone with the right project that speaks to your heart, and is something that you can tangably create. Best of luck bro ♥

[@AzoTheRed]

When i first started i was highly motivated. The more i learned, the more i realized i needed to learn. I got to a point where i started to believe i didnt have the skill to do it. But i kept pushing through it and eventually realized i was putting to much emphasis on perfecting things i didnt have the skills at(for me, art) so i leaned into what i am good at, programming, and accepted that my art might not be the selling point. The motivation came back once i realized i didn't have to make a perfect game

[@lHuskyy]

One of the hardest parts about working for yourself is the discipline to be consistent in the work. When you work for someone else, they keep you in check, but when you work for yourself, you have no one else keeping you in line. This was the hardest for me and took time to learn and build the routine.

[@JacobMotlMedia]

Subscribed! You're talking about what I (and many others based on the comments) often feel. Working within a "pressure cooker" state can do wonders - but only in brief bursts. Living within that state consistently for extended periods leads to a fast burnout and zero creative flow.

[@Frank_G_Finster]

When i am neither creative nor productive i go out and enjoy myself... a nice restaurant, walk in the park, around the lake, whatever comes to mind... allow yourself to not care for a day or a couple. I usually cant keep that up, because i need to go back with all the energy and ideas i get, when letting go. Eating healthy, getting enough sleep are the base... enjoying the time creating is master class. Keep it going! Thumbs up. - Man... choking on positivity here... :D

[@Aarimous]

Thank you :)

[@JasonHoffoss]

I agree. You need to pace yourself, take breaks (as long as needed) and whatnot when getting too stressed out. If you have made a design document and planned out milestones for your project, then don't stress out so much unless you are finding yourself falling behind on things. You will likely be new to all that as well though so maybe your milestones were not realistic enough and you need to re-evaluate them. But if you aren't behind on things then take the time you need for a break and don't worry about it. I find I am pretty creative with coming up with ideas during my walks. It's all about finding a rhythm that works for you, which takes time and experimentation.

[@FooyaGames]

we’re facing exactly the same challenges. We have to realize that even though we started this as a hobby, something we enjoy doing, once you start taking it seriously, it becomes work, and work isn’t always fun. You need to find a way to get through those less enjoyable moments, and sometimes that might mean taking a break, or adjusting the schedule and postponing or changing tasks to keep the motivation up. Hope you’ll be able to find the right balance and continue enjoying making games!

[@sweatyeti]

Relate 100%. Thank you so much for sharing this, despite it not being a typical video or an easy topic to talk about.

[@luckyknot]

I think having a Trello and seeing what you have done during the week feels good so you don't feel the dreaded impostor syndrome. No matter how small it is, celebrate little victories. And yeah having at least some dosis of social life, doing sport, meditate, is much needed to don't burn out. Also sometimes we stay 12 hours in front of the computer without noticing little doses of anxiety accumulating. Doing breaks is necessary. When you feel unmotivated, work on very little things, you are still doing something.

[@FillMakesGames]

You are doing awesome! Keep it up!

[@chappuVT]

I love the way you're able to freely express what you're feeling on this incredible journey. Very inspiring! So many things you mention really hit home. Keep up the great work! Always excited to see a new upload by Aarimous :)

[@Swinkly_]

Really appreciate your perspective here. Taking some time for introspection, and taking accountability for your health and well-being is a very wise move! Best of luck with Hexagod, and whatever else you work on after that. :)

[@VistaLargaGames]

As a game developer who works 50+ hours a week in a full time job and has fitness hobbies and family, I have to admit that I am unhappy with the duration. I’m 4 years in and finally finishing up my game this month. I do everything. Programming. Assets. Voice Acting. Music. Handrawn cutsceene animations. Marketing. And now porting it to vr as well. No prior programming skills. You Can checkout my devlogs too. That’s another thing I did alone. Devlogs took up SO MUCH time as well. And now hurricane Milton took out my power for a bit and that slowed me down. I cannot wait to be a full time gamedev :) Try to create a structure. Treat it like an actual job (cause it is). Hit the gym. Do you other hobbies. Create concepts for your games using photos and drawings. That way when you finish a game, you can start the next one. And lastly, have fun. Don’t take it so serious. And watch how naturally fun it becomes.

[@marcelslofstra2157]

Being an indie dev does not mean you literally have to do everything yourself. That’s a choice. It’s perfectly fine to use assets and music you have made or bought, for instance.

[@MikeCore]

I really feel this the way I treat my self, my body, is all over the place and it makes doing the edevours that I would like to do just that much harder and more chore like.

[@TheDarkchum1]

Hey man I believe that fun is ticket. Maximize YOUR fun, whatever that entails as sole developer, and the proper “success” Will follow.

[@hiddenstones3345]

I’m a GameDev too, and yeah, it’s not always fun but you need to keep pushing in, you cant stop work on you journey everytime you not feel it, it will get worse. But when you will hit a small goal, man, it changes your whole day! You feel more productive and happy.

[@dakotac55]

Thanks for all the hard work you put into your channel! The channel can also be a huge drain of energy as well. There’s a book that I read for work and it helped me see that we have more control over how a product is received than the norm. The book is called Competing Against Luck by Clay Christensen if you’re interested. I recommend it to anyone that deals with product development which includes games. If anyone would like to discuss it I’m more than happy to share and discuss!

[@OldRod99]

I think every indie dev struggles with these thoughts and issues. I know I do, and I don't have the added pressure of game dev being a full-time job for me. It's just something I do in my spare time, but even then, I find myself working on my game and thinking "most games of this type have this feature, but I don't really like this feature... why am I putting it in my game?" Then I start questioning if I should even be making this game, etc. Nobody has all the answers, and as you've said more than once, game dev isn't easy. What I do is try to figure out what my game absolutely needs to have, and what I want it to have, and then try to strike a balance between the two. I think if you maintain your passion for your game and make it the way you want, it will have a better chance of being successful than if you just make what you think the market wants. Just an opinion of someone who's never released a game, so take that for what it's worth :)

[@Novacification]

They say: "If you love what you, you'll never work a day in your life" I don't think that feeling can last. In most circumstances there will be tasks and responsibilities that are too complex to get a handle on or too mundane to find fun. I think you're doing the right thing. When you realize that your passion has turned into a job, it can still be a great job, it just can't be all day, every day, like it probably was in the beginning. I think you should organize your thoughts and line up some easy tasks and then take an extended break; perhaps a week or so. Socialize and get out of the house even if you don't feel like it. I like to work from home but sometimes going to the office just gives me a different kind of boost. You might not feel super energized to get back into things when you get back but that's why you prepared some easy tasks to start with. Then restrict yourself to normal work hours and maybe reward yourself for focusing and being productive. Hopefully things will start to feel more enjoyable. That would be my advice at least. I hope you get back into the swing of things in time :)

[@foldupgames]

Take time away when you need it! And remember: you don't owe us a darned thing. You could walk away right now without apology and we wouldn't deserve anything more. I'd wonder what happened, but don't let ME (some rando on the internet) put pressure on you. Also, you're a real inspiration to me as an indie dev. For real. You rock.

[@Worldfire_Interactive]

You’re still in the establishing phase of your business - it’s not going to always be fun unfortunately, even when you love what you do. Personally what drives me to dev each night after an exhausting day is that eventually, like you, I’m going to go full time. Is it always going to be fun? No… but it’s sure going to beat putting the best part of my energy and self into someone else’s business, pockets, dreams and goals each day.

[@DrDrasticVR]

thats a good minset mate! control what you can and make it enjoyable, i'll use that thanks!

[@NanopunkGames]

When trying to figure out my first big game as a solo dev, I definitely feel the same about my own lack of creativity. What also frustrates me is I have a bunch of ideas I know I can accomplish. But I don't know if any of those ideas will be fun for anyone other than myself. I am currently stuck in prototyping hell. But good luck with Hexgod! I am excited to play the demo this weekend.

[@ciscornBIG]

I guarantee you that someone out there shares your idea of fun. Keep working.

[@NanopunkGames]

@@ciscornBIG Thank you, I appreciate that.

[@ptkstefano]

This is incredibly relatable. Being autonomous in general requires a ton of discipline to work through hard times.

[@UqiSylune]

There's an extremely common piece of advice that's usually given to artists (especially writers) with your exact problem, to the point where it's hard to believe you haven't come across it before since you're already a pretty successful developer. In any case, I'm gonna repeat it here because I am insufferable. Basically, the year has 365 days and everyone will have a bunch of days where they're really inspired and they feel perfect and they're in just the right mindset to work on their project but out of those 365 days, the vast majority will be far, far from perfect. That's just being human, you will wake up tired, you will wake up demotivated, some days you might just feel kinda under the weather or lazy or whatever else comes to mind but if you only work when everything feels 'just right' then you are never gonna get anything done. What separates a pro from a hobbyist is that a pro knows how to get themselves into that productive headspace and get the work done even if they don't feel like it. This can be any sort of step-by-step process, ritual, whatever you wanna call it that gets you motivated. It will probably involve some amount of internal dialogue where you remind yourself why you're doing this in the first place (yes, money is a part of it, but you picked this career path for other reasons than just that, right?). Basically, you know you want to do it, you know you need to do it, so why aren't you doing it? If there is a reason, some internal block, anxiety, etc, mindfulness meditation can help you surface all of that stuff and once you actually deal with it, you'll be able to proceed unburdened. Another thing is, you need some sort of routine. I know it's appealing to be living this unscheduled lifestyle since you're able to do it but just because you can do something, doesn't mean that you should. Give yourself some sort of a schedule, if you really can't wake up at the same time everyday, which is valid, you can instead say that you'll do x amount of hours of work each day. The thing is, that you can't really take a day off if there is no scheduled time for you to work because it just all turns into this vague soup with no defined boundaries and that's preventing you from properly resting because you're wondering if you should be working at all times. To sum up, at the end of the day there is always a reason not to do something if you think hard enough, but every time you listen to that reason and go watch anime, you reinforce that neural pathway so it's even easier to procrastinate the next time, etc, until you're just sitting depressed on your couch everyday. Don't fall into the hole!

[@firstprimehunter]

Really thought this was an "I'm quitting" type video. ...that was intentional wasn't it?

[@Aarimous]

A healthy bit of clickbait never hurt ;). Hope the message still landed and you found some value in the video. Cheers!

[@firstprimehunter]

@@Aarimous i mean hey, when the content is good, it doesn't matter how you get people to watch it.

[@veldtwalker]

One company game dev company I worked at actually held the odd in house game jam, to kind of keep people interested. Just one week they would work on something different. Mainly this happened between projects, but I wonder if joining a game jam might prevent project fatigue now and then.

[@EnakNitsua]

I am at a similar place. I like to tell myself that breaks away from my todo list and routine gives me the opportunity to find inspiration and gain new experiences that will expedite and inform my learning. Living and learning as a human is productive when you can be present i believe.

[@jamesgoodwin3444]

I've been on a similar journey with a newsletter I've been writing for the last couple of years. Working too intensely just burns you out and doesn't really progress your project as a result. Better to just trundle along at a steady pace.

[@puzzlinggamedev]

I have similar problems; for example, the other day I thought of a possible way to simplify the movement logic of my game that will allow me to implement "fragile" crates being destroyed by weight or pushing, and possibly to add friction; but it would be a major rewrite, and the potential to ruin some of the other features or wasting time trying to make that complicated change keeps haunting me and I keep procrastinating :(

[@hjqw1pe]

I think when you do something that you don't enjoy, your brain tries to protect you from it by making you procrastinate and feel demotivated to do it. You could try to convince yourself that you're having fun to trick your brain. Tell yourself "I'm excited to do [insert task that needs to be done]" and you'll feel more motivated to do it. Either you control your brain, or it controls you.

[@DonaldSMay]

I played the demo of Hexagod and I think it is a pretty fun game but here is some feedback for you: 1. The game progression seems a bit too slow for my liking. The time it takes to gain a second villager seems a bit too slow and it was not clear to me that I needed both enough food *and* a hut for the villager or the villager would die. It was really annoying when I get my second villager only for it to die very soon after. 2. The way time progresses seems a bit weird to me. It seems like this should be a turn based game with the way it is structured but the day mechanic keeps ticking along which seems to just serve as a way to punish you for not collecting food fast enough. 3. When the demon shows up there is no explanation on what it is, what happens when the red bar runs out, etc. I assume you need to prepare some defenses but there is no real explanation on that (making notes as I am playing). There also wasnt really an explanation if I could attack him or what that would do. There was also no sound on combat to even let me know I was fighting the demon. I just had to assume he was possible to attack. 4. There really isnt great feedback when you have reached your hand limit. 5. Even though the game is minimalist it would still be nice if the fish, the deer, etc had different icons then just an apple. Maybe antlers for deer, a fish for fish, etc. 6. Maybe the cards could have a picture of what they are (like the crabs could have a crab) just to make them a bit more visually interesting. 7. Once you reach the "You Win!" on the demo, I wish there was the option to keep playing or at least a message saying thank you for trying the demo and when the full game is coming out. Maybe a Save Game option at that screen to pick up where you left off later. That could also be a point to ask to wishlist on steam, etc. Just something to explain that this was just a demo because otherwise it makes it seem like the objective of your game is to get to 3 villagers with absolutely no explanation as to why. 8. i would personally make the demo getting to 5 villagers or maybe some other larger objective because you really need more than one villager to get into the game and really play it. Having 2 felt like the game was just really starting and then I get three villagers and the game is over. Maybe the demo could start you with some food and 2 villagers and explain the mechanics a bit better as you play. could even start with a bit of defense so you are not caught unprepared for the first demon. That way your demo can help explain your mechanics without punishing the player for not knowing your mechanics before playing. 9. If you did go turn based then one way to maybe not have to do the end of day mechanic would be to give your villagers a move limit (kind of like civilization) so that once your villagers are out of moves then the turn/day ends. Then the Demon could be so many turns (days) from doing whatever it is doing and it would be nice if you knew in advance if he was making mountains or something. The end of day mechanic to me felt punishing when I would rather focus on the cards and the strategy. It would be nice if somehow cards could be combined together? that might be an interesting mechanic to craft new cards to play just a thought. It has some rough edges but once you can get more than one villager and things start picking up it starts to get more interesting. I just think the getting to a second villager needs to happen quicker. Just my opinions and I hope this feedback is helpful! Keep going on the game and I am excited to see it finished!

[@ukrsolid]

Thanks for sharing

[@nbshftr]

the end product supersedes anything that comes before it.

[@SlimeHuntersGame]

I think his point is much deeper than end product results. His point was not about the product but of the process, where one still has the decision to enjoy setting themselves up for success and that that is the struggle.

[@SupahAmbition]

@Aarimous You may enjoy the book "The Creative Act" by legendary producer Rick Rubin. It speaks to a lot of what you are talking about in this video.

[@mcnairymichael]

They say it takes 10,000 hours to master a skill. Keep learning, keep building things, keep it fun, you got this!

[@MichaelCook_Old_School_IT]

The older we get, the more clearly we see all the difficulties on the path to success. And this certainly does not add motivation. Therefore, you need to seize the moment, if you can get into the flow mode and enjoy the process.

[@SafetyKitten]

I'm not sure how to put into words what makes you so cool

[@jeux1d100]

I’d say, have a main "product" you would like to play yourself probably, and one or two side projects with weirder ideas, maybe for later, etc. So, you still have some progress done in "something" that may serve you in the long run. Or simply go out and do some exercise, watch a movie, etc.

[@JohnnyMayHymn]

there's a guy that talks about a 5 hour work day, idk if it works, it probably works better than whatever I'm doing

[@michaellee2786]

Have you considered getting more cat toys?

[@Aarimous]

Wait a minute… is this a comment from my cat Karl or wait, it must be by other cat Martin. 😹

[@zapoutix]

Keep motivation at the top is very difficult, and i think it is not possible, then the motivation is going down you need discipline. The way i try to keep motivated and still work on my game, is to show every friday night the progress to my wife and my children,. this little thing push me to keep moving. Keep the fun ... well .. no idea, but it likes work in a company sometimes you work on fun stuff and almost of the time it is quite boring and repetitive.

[@Niko_3D]

Welcome to the world of freelancing. This is exactly same shit I encounter as a 3D freelance artist. It got so bad to a point where I wasnt taking any new jobs for a couple od months.😅 So now I work full time and freelance when I have extra time to take projects. 🎉

[@mrussogamedev]

Recommended reading: The War of Art by Steven Pressfield.

[@matthewdeklerk3457]

The moment it became a job you should have changed your entire workflow to reflect that. A passion project is defined by highly productive bursts that are complete unsustainable in a 9 to 5 structure. I highly recommend taking up a bullshit job while you do a game. Warehouse work. Landscaping. Your productivity will be multiplied 1000x. If you spend "45 hours a week" making a game youre absokutely cappping and coping

[@KumsalObuz]

It's about choices. If you are feeling the slog, make a choice and own it. Walk away from things by knowing that that's the choice you are making instead of feeling in limbo and guilty about leaving things in the middle. Chances are you'll rejuvenate and come back recharged. Sometimes, as soon as you walk away, you may find that you needed just a quick brake and the choice to walk away worked out, but now might be the right choice to get back to work. It's always better to be in a place to make choices instead of situations being forced on you.

[@lehisluguer9300]

you're wrong boy... the moment you decided to do gamedev for a living its not a hobby anymore.. fun is not an option..

[@Ibadullah]

2nd like!!!!!!

[@Ibadullah]

first

[@GrahamOfLegend]

It's such a hard thing to deal with! Probably the biggest downfall of being a solo indie 🥲