"I'm not like the other girls" I'M BETTER

[@zoeunlimited]

Do you ever feel a pressure to be “different”?

[@Rajvisoni745]

@@arryaulait7620 same tbh

[@honeymilk3815]

Not to be different but like to change myself (lose weight, make my acne go away magically 💀, always act like a proper girl 💀)

[@MissBehave-v8w]

most of the time no, but I think sometimes I'm attracted to being different. It may be because I don't use social media much, since when I was little I tried not to do what others do, that's why I never used them like others. This way you can't know how to be different (at least not as long as I were on tiktok the whole time) because you don't know how others are, so I have no choice but to be myself and do the things I really want to do

[@eduardasartorio8932]

Many times

[@nataliedube1665]

I think everyone IS different but I do feel pressure to be better and “stand out” in a way that is for other people, and that’s on society. Lol

[@ailisha4145]

I hate how relationships between women are so often portrayed as „drama“. Having true and healthy relationships with women is totally possible. It just depends on the people.

[@LoneWulf278]

And sometimes, it’s not even that dramatic. Intimacy and closeness is strengthened by overcoming problems. Sometimes, people only have “perfect” drama-free relationships because they barely talk. 😂

[@ailisha4145]

haha that‘s true unfortunatelly.

[@ketsha2842]

@@LoneWulf278 this is so true! in HS me and my best friend were having problems and everyone around it was saying that I was drama when in reality it was just growing pains

[@florencembah2626]

I totally agree

[@KaylaNoelle1]

For real, the majority of my bullies growing up even in professional settings as an adult, have been males: it has usually been other women and girls defending me because some male is angry that I do not want to have sex with him or date him.

[@tanialorent1797]

"Other girls are not my competition. I stand with them, not against them."

[@perfectstranger8462]

💯

[@God_save_our_souls]

This🙌🏼

[@paulac.munoztorres]

👑

[@colorfulgirl9481]

Yes!! We need this mentality

[@daniellemeows]

🤘🏼💕

[@savannahpowell8124]

“Not everything is about men.” YES. HARD YES. And I would say in turn: among men, not everything is about women.

[@mateenahmad9960]

as a dude, I agree but I think the opposite sex always views it as if the things the other sex is doing is for their sake when its really not true and people are just trying to figure out themselves and how to act etc.

[@cherylmingo8683]

@@mateenahmad9960 exactly

[@adamleckius2253]

Perhaps not everything, but most things, are about women

[@silverbat5873]

What if we all the way gay?

[@yourfavleech6308]

among women, not everything is about men .......... most of it is about women XD (Woman in the background: ily bae

[@abimopectore1908]

"Can woman just enjoy something they do without getting judged..." EXACTLY!

[@nobunagaoda658]

It's actually ironic how "pick me" were used to be a call out for girl who put other girls down but nowadays the term "pick me" are used to put other girls down. It have become the things it swear to destroy

[@b-vQEVXideVFSCfCoFWw]

That is only if you give the meaning of "pick me girls" a negative connotation

[@bilalbhuttiali1411]

Its like if Anakin was a girl. Tranakin.

[@britsaunders2151]

Really tho. I don't understand how someone can mock girls for breaking down other girls by in turn, breaking down other girls for feeling insecure or being a little awkward. It's just bullying. It's like this cycle where us women still feel we need to hate or feel superior to each other. I hate it.

[@britsaunders2151]

​@@b-vQEVXideVFSCfCoFWw I wish for you to elaborate, friend.

[@teshamiller6001]

The issue with pick me girls is not wanting to be picked, it’s the inauthenticity. They’re lying about who they are for validation. Just be you! Being a girly girl is perfectly ok. Being a tomboy is totally ok. Can we normalize being authentic and genuinely happy for ourselves and other happy women🤷🏾‍♀️

[@mygod2529]

Why does your word make me feel guilty?

[@felixfelicis127]

it's true, but it's better to do proper conversations about it (like u did) than just saying "omg that girl is so pick me, she's so fake". lying to ourselves for validation is sad and people who do that has to be encouraged, not to make fun of. And btw we all did that once in our life. So yeah I agree with u ahah

[@Ilivedbih]

But that's what it is. Lying because *they want to be picked* - it interconnects lmao.

[@EEsYouTubeChanel]

I like being sporty, suck at make up, and absolutely love the pink colors 💕 Cant I just bake a pie and play hockey?

[@eletom548]

Please normalize being a tomboy for a moment and then being a girly girl at another moment as well. We can change whenever we want. I mean, there is no reason to not.

[@LaCréé.e]

The problem with "Pick me's" is the definition got lost. It was usually about girls trying to get male attention by presenting themselves as better and putting down the other girls they swore they were different from. Nowadays merely having an opinion/habits that is different than the accepted norm for women (made by women) put you at risk of being labelled a pick me.

[@l-d3573]

Honestly that’s sadly true :(

[@taiyabazaheer9492]

If a girl says "I don't wear makeup" in a regular tone, just stating her preference it's fine but when she says that in a condescending manner to a girl who likes to wear makeup, it's pick me behaviour.

[@eugeniaagnesrombelayuk1789]

Very true, it's kinda ironic how the label "pick me girl" was originally used to call out misogynistic girls and now it is used to shame women for having characteristics of a pick me (while in truth they are simply being themselves) which is basically misogyny itself.

[@hiii1149]

exactly yes you put my thoughts into words such a wise person

[@poojitachand2811]

@Taiyaba Zaheer absolutely true

[@LoneWulf278]

At this point, calling someone out as a pick-me is a big part of being a pick-me. You can pretty much get clout and validation from criticizing women in ANY way.

[@florencembah2626]

True

[@swastikanayak8503]

I don't completely agree, but yes this does apply to many women out there.

[@ag-cr6tl]

But some girls actually parody girls who tear down other girls for male validation, are they 'pick me' too?

[@petraivic9501]

Thank God someone said it. That is my sentiment too in recent times. Woman don't understand that any kind of putting other woman down, to emphasize you are better, is a pick me. So only if you are yourself and confident enough not to have to put others down, then you are not a pick me, because you don't even compete.

[@petraivic9501]

@@ag-cr6tl In a way yes :/ because they also bring other woman down to emphasize they are better than them. Only if you are comfortable with yourself and don't have a need to mock other woman you are not a "pick me." So you see how this toxic circle will never end as long as we point fingers.

[@hulkaroyj.4960]

Ironically, making fun of pick me girls became a pick me behavior.

[@lovejunkie490]

Not at all. I mean maybe sometimes but I think the majority of women calling out pick me girls is because they calling out the bad behavior, sexism and misogyny of these women.

[@deliriouspenis]

what about making fun of the girls that make fun of pick me girls ?

[@memethingz6004]

@@lovejunkie490 no u lost us when u women who conform to patriarchal gender norms started shaming women who reject patriarchy especially masc women. Idk if u know anything about feminism I recommend u to actually start reading about it and when u start reading u will realize how patriarchal makeup is. makeup obsessed women are the actual pick mes. I don’t believe in shaming y’all for that but y’all are the first ones to shame women who reject submitting to beauty standards and that’s very dangerously misogynistic and sad

[@amrutha2352]

I agree. I hate that girl on tiktok who posts nothing but pick me girl content. It's so exaggerated and annoying

[@connaeris8230]

Say it louder for the people in the back. Annoying girls who are called "pick me" are just insecure people. I don't understand this trend of hating them on the internet.

[@euonova]

Originally I feel the definition of a pick me girl is a girl who, regardless of interests (i.e. whether she's more feminine or more of a tomboy, whatever), puts down other girls for male validation. Not just a girl who likes football and beer and isn't into make up and fashion. Like a pick me can be a feminine girl who feels superior for not sleeping around and put down other girls who do for validation from a man, for example.

[@cataloupe3914]

100% you hit the head on the nail

[@EV143]

That's right

[@diutrinh1240]

Yes! Example: the “trad” pick me girls, the “Pick me, I’m better than your exes.”

[@PhoenixTV109]

What’s ironic about all of this is when people are like: “oh she is a pick me girl, but I’m not one” then they are literally being pick me girls themselves!🤣

[@chanswall6265]

Moral of the story lmao

[@moon.937]

a new type of pick me where girls strive for female validation. like 'ewww wanting male validation sucks, anyways lemme seek validation from someone else on the internet', like no, you don't need validation from ANYONE, and while it's okay to want it sometimes, putting others down is never the right way. Besides, there are many more positive ways to garner attention from other girls without gossiping about pick me's . You can talk about your favorite books, make music, make content that other girls can relate to(NOT content that involves bonding over how much you hate a 'type of girl') etc.

[@TheFuschiaDragonfly]

Yep, every single one lol

[@amy7309]

that's true

[@florencembah2626]

🤣😂

[@chanswall6265]

I love how Zoe always brings up important issues and like have a cool chit chat about the topic. She is like the best friend you literally talk about everything and I 'm so here for it :3

[@businessisboomin7252]

Yea definitely feels like it

[@nowey2251]

I feel like this topic is over and done with

[@yukonrivera5552]

happy to be the 900th like

[@eduardaaraujo9039]

i love this kind of video

[@meryem-sh7wg]

@@hope_garden öyle valla

[@PhoenixTV109]

Here’s how I feel about it: So basically, whether you are trying to or not, Everyone is a pick me girl in one way or another. Some may act like it more than others, but let’s be honest, we all have done something in the past to gets someone’s attention. Everyone is different in some kind of way. Just be yourself, but be careful because there will always be that one person who doesn’t like you or the way you act! I also agree, it’s ok to be different from others Edit: just finished watching the video and I realized that’s basically what she said😂

[@hiii1149]

it's because the term "pick me" has lost it's definition at this point, it was supposed to be for girls who acts different or puts down other girls *for MALE validation* but people have been calling any girl who acts slightly different than a 'typical girl' a pick me so at this point everyone has their own definition of "pick me" lol, which is going to cause a problem

[@PhoenixTV109]

@@hiii1149 true

[@someonerandom7943]

Yeah, this name calling of girls in general is something I’ve suffered. Girls in my life would always put me down for my “basic interests” like listening to Shawn mendes, my favourite colour be pink for.. some reason, how I dress, how I acted, how I spoke, to a general point where I just felt ashamed of myself and became resentful of what other people liked out of pure bitterness. Labels in general suck.

[@writers.note7462]

@@someonerandom7943 I'm sure every interest is amazing as long as its your interest, and so is Shawn (like literally liking Shawn Mendes?? Basic?? No gurl that person's down right wrong)

[@jclyntoledo]

@@hiii1149 Yeah this is how I saw the definition too which is why I was little lost about the "everyone is this pick me girl thing" 😂😂. I have never once betrayed or put down my sex/gender for a guy by pretending to not be like "other girls". In fact I was the probably the one most likely to receive the "You're being such a girl" comment just for actually liking everything feminine. Also can we stop calling grown ass women girls?!.... counting down the days for that bs to end.

[@sara_23_]

4:56 I used to hate pink and realized it was some sort of internalised misogyny because is "too feminine". Now I absolutely love it, for example I adore pink make up, I'm OBSESSED.

[@Spijen]

I’m 23 and starting to go through my pink phase! I loved green so much growing up, but recently I’ve accumulated a lot of pink belongings and …? Right now the color pink feels like a boy who has always been in my life that I’m just realizing I really like lmfao

[@silenceisgold758]

Pink was colour for men before women stole it. It's ugly colour nonetheless.

[@sara_23_]

@@silenceisgold758 "Women stole it" how can a colour be stolen? WTF?!?! Maybe women started to wear it because they liked it, and men started to associate it to women and femininity in general, which is despised in our patriarchal society and they stopped to wear it. We didn't stole, it it's a men problem if they hate pink because now we like it and use it to show the fact that we are proud of our femininity, even though we are constantly shamed for liking "girly" stuff. So it's not just an aesthetically pleasing colour it symbolises the acceptance of our femininity and we don't give a shit if men don't like it, we were not put on this planet to please men🖕🏻💕

[@silenceisgold758]

@@sara_23_ But why give colour a gender? I never liked that colour. Parents kind of forced me to wear it as a little girl. Now i wear black and grey all the time. I love it. I can Imagine having pink nails or pink handbag, but pink from head to toe? No.

[@liz8986]

​@@silenceisgold758 Everyone has diff preferences i love pink. Its cute and pretty. I understand if you dont like it but just understand not everyone has the same preferences as you do. But tbh abt your questions, its just how society likes to divide things by gender, its ridiculous tbh

[@avast47]

8:48 thank you! i got stereotyped as a “health nut” “try hard” and “that girl” cuz i get up early for my sport, but i never felt that way about myself until the label was put on me by my peers at school. it felt strange how the way other people perceived me didn’t really align with my identity tbh

[@AnABSOLUTEBarbarian]

Me too. And it got to my head really. Nutrition and wellness was how I began to manage my mental illness and trauma. I got enthusiastic about it so I started posting it online and suddenly I was a try hard. It got in my head so I stopped for a while. I’m slowly getting back to it, I’m just not putting it online.

[@abigase135]

you're literally the type of girl I aspire to be but am too lazy

[@ailisha4145]

Being charismatic is the best and healthiest way to be liked by others. Be present, authentic, confident and interested. You don‘t need to put others down to make yourself look better.

[@estelle8508]

Wisdom at its finest

[@magicale940]

True! 💙

[@tiltid]

basically not wearing a mask kzbin.info/www/bejne/mqm7coZmlsx4Y5Y

[@indeeditiscirro]

Something you're born with and is only innate, yes

[@elliecraig1520]

Yes

[@rrmusicarts3107]

I feel like the “pick me” definition could be easily explained with examples -normal girl: I don’t like wearing makeup -pick me girl: I could never wear makeup like the other girls, they look so bad and really fake There, having likes and dislikes, preferences and hobbies that don’t fall in the “feminine norm” it’s tots ok, but bringing other girls down for liking them it’s not. This applies to everything. Just be yourself.

[@x_kittrix]

@Віка Колянова makeup can be a good way to express yourself. Another times people will wear it because they feel insecure about their looks. Some just wear it because they like how it looks. I normally don’t wear makeup but I don’t see an issue with others wearing it.

[@Ilivedbih]

It also matters on the tone in which you say that. I've heard many women say short "I don't like wearing makeup" with the most egoistic and condescending voice ever. Lot of times while looking at a girl wearing lipstick etc.

[@Ilivedbih]

@Віка Колянова That's very possibly what they're striving for though. To look older, on the contrary it's normal to want to be/look older than you are when you're still in school lol. It's very prevalent. I wanted to look older (still do, because people think I'm 15 even though I'm 22).

[@pandaninja6459]

I don't like to wear make up cause I get acne because of it. But if I tell people they say I'm a pick me. Like I'm okay with others wear makeup. It's my personal choice to not to do

[@lumityviktuuristanartist4100]

@@pandaninja6459as someone who likes a bit of makeup, don't listen to them , a pick me girl is a girl who puts other girls down to feel special infront of a guy , if you don’t do that , you're absolutely fine

[@rymasiuuu6312]

i feel like ppl who make " pick me trend" to make fun of pick me girls are pick me lol they are literally doing the SAME making fun of other women to look superior and different like okaay it was funny few years ago but now ... it's literally cringe

[@всемпривет-и1щ]

this should be top comment fr

[@herewegoagain5536]

Well I think it depends, some of them are just showing habits that many girls have that are not "girly" and making fun of it (which is indeed wrong and cringey) but others are calling out girls not because of their personality but because they bring other girls down to feel better about themselves or any other reason (which is what I thought was the definition of pick me girl) the problem is that the concept of pick me girl became very uhh messy¿ and now people call someone pick me girl for everything they do

[@lexie4725]

I agree q00%

[@killa-sadie]

the one girl who did the pick me girl trend actually does a pick me boy trend, and she's really funny she doesn't actually mean them its just for the laughs

[@flooryan8332]

@@herewegoagain5536 at this point we should just axe the whole “pick me term”, if someone is being misogynistic- call them out for just that, being misogynistic. No need for the “pick me” stuff

[@stankyleg777]

I know a girl who raises her voice on discord calls and infantilizes herself for male validation. When she talks to me, or other girls, her demeanor entirely changes. Normally I don’t care - but she is extremely manipulative with these men that it’s kinda goofy LOL

[@ALT1308_]

I knew a lot of girls like that

[@Honeydollarbill]

Thank you! I think I'm getting more annoyed about people who jokes about "pick me girls" than actual pick me girls. In a sense, being a "pick me" is the exact same thing as hating on "pick me" girls. You're differentiating yourself from another kind of girl to feel better about yourself

[@lovejunkie490]

I don’t agree with you. That’s not the same at all. In one case, you put down women, throw other women under the bus, just because they are women. In the other case, you call out a disgusting behavior like sexism and misogyny. A person that don’t judge others based on stupid things like their gender, their skin color, their sexual orientation, is actually a better person than someone that is sexist, racist, misogynist or homophobe.

[@lovejunkie490]

@Fernando Martins yes. Because pick me girls are misogynist and I hate misogynist. Do you even know what pick me girls and misogyny mean ?

[@aquademoney]

@user-mn4es2wd1f idk, i agree with both of u tbh. i mean making fun of pick me girls is just starting to get annoying and old but at the same time i dont think that cancels out the actions of actual pick mes who constantly shame other women and make them feel bad about themselves for their own personal gain. if ur telling me thats the same thing as making fun of someone FOR doing those very harmful and mean things then i think u needa think a little deeper about what u just said. but like i said i still think making fun of them is getting old and annoying tho, not that they dont deserve it but we all know who they are now so we can just move on and ignore them or keep being annoying about it. anyways basically tldr it all starts w pick mes but the people who make fun of them can like give it a break cuz it doesnt solve anything and the jokes arent rly funny anymore, just like, dont be a pick me and if u arent, ignore them lol. sorry this is way too fuckin long lmao

[@just_electra8]

i totally agree with you. i’m sorry that i’m going off topic, but i just couldn’t help but mention our names are almost exactly the same!

[@Honeydollarbill]

@@just_electra8 Yeah girl! Awesome name ;) It's a very rare name in my country so I got so happy when I saw it!

[@doribala4964]

"surprise, not everything is about men." Loved this!!!

[@Luffyxsi]

Nothing is a about those dogs i hope they die i hope they burn to death i wish all of them a painful death and a place in hell .

[@onecuriousowl]

I used to be obsessed with “not being like other girls” for a different reason. I was always very petite and very delicate looking and labeled as weak as a kid/teen because of this. So I pushed away everything that could be related to that and tried really hard to show I was tough too. I raved about not liking pink, dresses, skirts, I liked loose shorts and sneakers and listened to Linkin Park. Guess what? Nothing changed. So it was pointless. Secretly I loved Hannah Montana and makeup. Today I feel like I gave up a part of me as a teen that could have helped me today. Today I can’t dress myself cute, I don’t know how, and I hate it. I want to be a bit more well dressed and wear makeup but I can’t find the will to put in the effort. And I feel that if I hadn’t given up on this part of me as a teen it wouldn’t be so hard today.

[@a1exneedsahamdleplease]

I’m the same way, there’s this channel called “Alexandria’s girly talk” that was a huge help for me, she’s really great about breaking down why stuff works vs just saying what’s in or out of style. I’ve also learned a lot from just googling things like “how to dress for petite women” or stuff like that to help me learn the “rules” for my body type. It’s been really fun catching up on all the stuff I missed out on during my internalized misogyny phase and it turns out wearing a blend of cutesy and punk stuff (something I like to call “femmepunk”) makes me really happy ^ﻌ^

[@jungxi2729]

Girl, I feel so glad I'm not the one who hsa felt this

[@awts..7954]

Forfeit the game before somebody else takes you out of the frame

[@pinkribbon1007]

i did it too, im on the journey to getting back on track and i believe we will make it, you got this girl

[@onecuriousowl]

@@pinkribbon1007 thank you! I’m really trying to feel good in my own skin, it’s hard but we’ll get there!

[@swa3g857]

People be saying that having a specific interest or hobby that's outside of the female norm (like liking anime and gaming) is being a "pick me girl." The REAL definition of pick me girls are women who throw other women under the bus to gain male approval or validation, and in the contrary, don't expect or overanalyze everything about a person's hobbies or interests cuz' not everyone is doing or liking something for male attention!!!

[@keikei1943]

Thank you!! These "pick mes in the closet" have butchered the meaning of the word. It has nothing to do with liking femme and masculine hobbies. It's the attitude you have towards other women to gain male attention 😭🙄🤦🏾‍♀️

[@treatpeoplewithkindness2955]

Exactly at the end of the day there are not fem or masc hobbies there are just hobbies. In my case I like anime,comics and watching football but I also like make up, girls nights, skirts and the colour pink. Saying that someone is a pick me just because they like something is wrong the point is that there is not one way to be a woman and that's OK, just be what you want to be and do not put other girls down just to get validation

[@keikei1943]

@@treatpeoplewithkindness2955 watch them call you a pick me for liking soccer and anime as if your existence revolves around men. These "Femmes" are just mean girls just want to feel superior to women that like masculine hobbies

[@treatpeoplewithkindness2955]

@@anunknownperson4018 I think is normal for a girl to see anime as well. I mean I watch it as a kid even when I did not know that it was anime. My point is that there are not masculine or femenine hobbies. And that some people now a days use the term pick me for everything!

[@malekjaouadi6965]

I love anime bcs I love drawing and telling stories + I was so lonely as a child that anime characters were my only friends. It has nothing to do with men and I wish they understood that smh

[@ihope2504]

Honestly, not trying to be like others is probably not a "pick me" behaviour. Being different to put others down is what we can call a "pick me" thing. I hate wearing all forms of makeup including lipstick. I hate dressing up nicely and putting efforts to look pretty. That's natural to me. I wear sports watch and love to play chess. And for these reasons a lot of girls think that I try to look different from them and many a times I am excluded from their groups. Now if my best friend does those things, do I discourage, insult or make fun of her? No. Do I boast about being different from her? No. Do I go to men and try to prove that I am different or better? Absolutely not. Do I feel I am special for being "not like" many other girls? No. I just have my own preferences.

[@TemporalBarrage]

Yeah I think I'm pretty much the same haha

[@ameziaarchard8487]

Finally someone said it can we just be ourselves without being labelled

[@Ilivedbih]

Then you're not a pick me and those who call you that don't know you and are stupid to assume so. Pick me's are that by their actions, not necessarily how they dress.

[@Mooksz]

i think it’s more of like… announcing it. i think the way it’s done/said even in tiktoks on social media, is always very exaggerated, saying or doing in a way to make everyone else look silly/lesser than or shading, making it seem more like an impressive or main trait but being inauthentic about it (i never like to wear makeup, i’m always natural, but wear fully done makeup with eyeshadow, lipstick, thick eyeliner, everything face everyday) it’s usually making. a superficial thing seem bigger and better than what’s common. like the makeup thing, it’s such a dumb thing to downplay because it doesn’t matter if you wear a lot of makeup or not to feel beautiful just be true to yourself. the girls mocking pick me girls are doing the same things. it’s different to notice/recognize that someone is doing something than it is to speak about it in a group or in a tone.

[@xbluebirdx]

Well said

[@Hoūr.i]

4:38 and you notice how boys from movies are always saying, “she’s different. That’s why I like her” too.

[@bezo5349]

Bella from Twilight 😩

[@andreia0000]

@@bezo5349 Elena Gilbert too.

[@javierlopez9789]

@@andreia0000 Serena also.

[@khushbooprasad6519]

"you're not like other girls. you're special. that's why"

[@MadeleineLouiseDiRosa]

@@andreia0000 i hate her so much tho

[@ava.catherine]

“There is no such thing as the ‘other’ girl” so true glad someone said it

[@ludofratta2328]

Honestly, my take on this is: I hate that we have to fit in "a girl-" category. Like I'm barely able to understand myself, how can I put all the different sides of me in just one category? It's like people that identify with just one aesthetic; I'm sure that there are people that prefer more of a soft aesthetic, just like there are girls that are a bit more I don't care kind of broh girl thing, but those are some exceptions. I think most of us are a big mix of many personalities. One day, you feel more confident and sexy and you dress more like that, some days you just want sweats. That is normal, not always fitting a narrative and shame other women for not fitting said narrative... Everything would be positive if we just mind our business and don't bring others down, but up.

[@mishrasurabhi154]

all hail!

[@emiley5584]

PREACH!!!! Like literally I dress in all the aesthetics LOL. But your right we’re not just one personality. Many sane and normal people are mix of personality’s we’re very diverse. But I agree we should be building others up and not tearing each other down.

[@dadgavaklopera9664]

I agree ☝🏻

[@1111sm..]

Absolutely right. U explained it very well

[@forevermore9431]

So tue! We are complex beings and don't fit one category perfectly! We should be able to do everything we like and explore what makes us happy. Who cares?

[@kyleefaren3075]

I had a pick me phase when I was younger. Incredibly easy to let media influence you when you're still figuring out your identity. Plus when you're a kid you care a lot more about what others think and want to be liked. The phase will pass

[@CrazyEggs123456789]

I think it is a phase all of us ladies go through. Glad I went through it at a young age compared to now cuz it would be major cringe to be a pick-me girl at the age of 30.

[@anndaniellemellin4191]

Nope, I didnt go through that phase. Everyone’s experience is different. But I guess when I was that age, tik tok didnt really exist. I wonder what would be different if a was in my early teens today 🤔

[@luckyvia1807]

I went through This phase, ur right it did pass

[@simplyamelia27]

When I went to uni and started my engineering degree, I felt the need to go back to my natural hair colour, only wear T-shirts, jeans and hoodies, and basically try to blend in as much as possible in a male dominated course. Just to make myself feel more comfortable by making the guys around me feel more comfortable. I was worried that if I turned up wearing makeup with my hair all done and cute outfits, that they’d think I was doing it to look pretty for them and considering I was uncomfortable with the idea of all that attention, then I went the opposite direction. However I realised that it made no difference whatsoever what I looked like because the fact of the matter was, that I stood out anyway just based on the fact that I was one of two girls on my entire course. I was always going to stand out regardless, so from my second year onwards, I just looked exactly how I wanted and stopped caring. So the irony here, was that me dying my hair blonde, doing my makeup every day and wearing cute outfits was actually a more feminist move for me, because I stopped trying to think about how I came off to the guys around me and focused on feeling comfortable in myself, rather than what was comfortable for others.

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

Exactly. We tend to think that to be feminist we have portray ourselves a certain way because god forbid a man likes something we like to do for ourselves, but in reality feminism is doing what you want for yourself regardless of male approval or disapproval. That’s why when I see girls saying they refuse to shave for male validation instead of they refuse to shave because they don’t want to, I face palm because they missed the point.

[@LuyandaM]

I was waiting for this one! Basically no matter what a girl does, any hobbies she has, what her lifestyle is filled with in general- she'll always have a stereotype hanging above her head. It's sad really. Ppl should be able to do what they want without being automatically ridiculed and put in a shallow category. Zoe said it well!

[@sydneyd2094]

You’re only a pick me if you’re putting down other women for the sake of male validation and attention. So there is nothing wrong with criticizing/calling out girls who are putting down and harming other girls.

[@Ray.5446.]

Right. I get called a pick me girl all the time, but I was raised with only males since I was 3 to 17. I barely got my first female friends in college. They are both super girly and aren't rude to me for not wanting to act and dress like them. They accept me for me. Whenever I tried to make female friends they would always try to bring me down and were very two faced. My guy friends talk shit to my face not behind my back. I respect that more.

[@cloudfish1829]

Yes this part in her video is wholesome ❤️💯

[@cloudfish1829]

Also I feel many of the stereotypes are self-imposed from media influence. Growing up from middle school through uni, I now realize I perfectly fitted the mold for "gamer girl" or "egirl", but I never labelled myself this way, and honestly no one mentioned this to me either. It was just a natural part of me. After watching this video, I realized I actually fell prey to many other stereotypes though. The stress/harm to my confidence from imposing those stereotypes on myself was unnecessary, and again, no one I knew ever even mentioned these stereotypes. So as girls, we should just feel more comfy as who we are, stereotypes are not that important, and we don't have to try to fit them.

[@keewadium]

I really hate how the concept of being a "pick me girl" has become so wide that it encompasses any girl who mentions something about themselves that is different from the norm. I relate to pick me's in that i genuinely dislike makeup, i dislike dresses, i like more societally masculine things, but yknow what? Thats OK! So many women and men who display themselves in a genuine way are scrutinized and told that they shouldnt enjoy the things they enjoy or dislike the things they dislike, and its come to a point that those remarks that someone is a pick me are entirely hypocritical! Theres no harm in liking things that are labeled as "pick me" activities, the most important thing is being genuinely who you are. Harm only comes from putting others down to make yourself seem better.

[@brianna4657]

Well said! A pick me girl is a girl who puts other girls down because of their preferences to make herself better.

[@juratory8876]

Couldn't have said it better myself. If I could high-five you through the computer, I would.

[@thesevenkingswelove9554]

Pick me girl is a girl who puts other women down for male validation. Idk why people associate it with girls who like "masculine" things

[@keewadium]

@@thesevenkingswelove9554 yeah, i don’t really know why the term broadened so much. Sucks because tomboys get called pick me’s all the time for liking more masculine things

[@jnkrene5600]

PREACH OMGGG it’s unfair that girls who choose to deviate from the norm get called pick mes, no we just have different interests. it’s insane because on twitter there’s so much division between makeup girls v non makeup girls and it all boils down to men

[@lucyhannah1227]

so true when you said we're all pick-mes...I'm asexual and aromantic so have NO interest in dating. I still obsess over how I'm perceived by strangers/acquaintances cos as humans and girls especially, we're literally trained by society to try and make a good impression, regardless of what impression that is

[@liazzn]

literally this!

[@thelillybuttbaldwin2208]

Leviticus 18:22 “you shall not lie with male as with a women. It is an abomination.”

[@lucyhannah1227]

@@thelillybuttbaldwin2208 curious as to how this bible passage was relevant to my comment

[@thelillybuttbaldwin2208]

@@lucyhannah1227 because you said you were asexual.

[@lucyhannah1227]

@@thelillybuttbaldwin2208 yeah that means i'm not laying with anyone so what's the big deal

[@theonlyvarsha9019]

Imagine being in a society where a girl who likes to wear makeup and Faishon and also plays sports and a girl who doesn't likes to wear makeup but is a ballerina...the best part is both are proud of themselves and appreciate one another

[@lexythatsme.3064]

i can assure you it exists

[@mayavlqz7114]

What some people don't understand is that humans shouldn't be defined by the things they like and dislike, people are so much more complicated than this. People are defined by their actions, by how they treat other people.

[@spoons7092]

I think we do see a similar trend with guys, “nice guys” who think that they are kind and caring, unlike the other guys that who are misogynistic and only want women for their looks. When in reality, “nice guys” are usually worse.

[@n.ddrawings1865]

Yes please i hate tgat bullshit about nice guys always get rejected.a compnete disaster

[@Mr_Mistah]

Nice guys are wolves in sheep's clothing

[@missstranger7697]

The "pick me guys"...🤣🙋‍♂️🙋 Young guys are not exception from girls!!

[@mahishitut7240]

This is so true and thank you for making a video about this. One more thing about this is kinda how being "introverted" makes you different from everyone else and people really use it as a way to be cool. What's annoying about it is that being an introvert is not like a trait which can make you go oh I'm not popular like "other girls". You cannot understand how it feels to be an introvert, how it feels to have social anxiety, how it feels to not be able to interact with people even when you try.

[@estelle8508]

Yes when being introverted has become trendy? It's so weird to see people taking pride in saying they are introverts while acting completely extraverted. Then when you have actual social anxiety you look weird

[@a1exneedsahamdleplease]

I see people misusing the words “introvert” and “extrovert” all the time and it’s really annoying, you can be an outgoing introvert or a shy extravert, all introversion means is that you need a bit more alone time to recharge than extroverts and all extraversion means is that you need a bit more social time than introverts to recharge. The best way I’ve heard it described is “After a stressful week what sounds more appealing to you, a few hours alone doing whatever you want (excluding anything that requires another person, like texting), or going to a party with your friends?” And everyone is a mix of both, introverts still need social time and extroverts still need alone time, it just comes down to which one you need more of.

[@erinnichols4866]

Yessss. Everyone near their 20s claims to be an introvert.

[@alpacafish1269]

@@a1exneedsahamdleplease exactly!!

[@darksmiley5081]

Man I remember the time when I was so "not like the other girls" , I am actually pretty feminine but always suppressed that I was interested in make up, and fashion, and always wanted to be different and all. But in the end, we're all different from one another, so let's just be who we are and support each other. That makes life so much better :D I am glad I stopped being that way and just went well let's go and just do what I want, and everyone else can do what they want as well

[@shaygreene9046]

I used to get told almost constantly back in the day by boys that I "wasn't like other girls" and used to wear it as a badge of honor. I am so thankful these days that we are now analyzing this and realizing how damaging it actually is. Thank you for this!

[@lexi-io7no]

her body language is so elegant

[@skullgarden2417]

We were all pick me girls at some point, and some of us are apparently pick mes without trying. I recently deleted tiktok and it was a good decision.

[@Berries.creamm]

I deleted TikTok today and I feel SO much better, I am a bit bored but I’ll just stick to KZbin. I wish I never downloaded tiktok in the first place because it has teared me down so bad. I love the funny videos on there, but everything else is just not it. And I’m getting new insecurities unlock, which parts of my body I NEVER thought about. Overall, that app has made my mental health bad. So glad I deleted it.

[@No-lq2vc]

This may sound dramatic but deleting TikTok was one of the bests decision I ever made

[@Berries.creamm]

@@No-lq2vc LITERALLY. Holy cow it’s been a month since I deleted TikTok (usually I’d delete it for like 2 weeks then download it again😭) this is the longest I’ve been without that stupid app.

[@semi-coffee.addict]

@@No-lq2vc RIGHTTT

[@malverysuh7786]

Lmfao I still have tiktok, there is a huge group of women support women community in tiktok and it’s so refreshing and comforting 🥺🥺tiktok has a lot to offer you just gotta to look for it so it fulls the feed with that.

[@someZH]

I’m not “not like other girls “ I’m just like other girls, girls are completely fine I’m very proud of being a girl 💛

[@mar1nn998]

Me too

[@a1exneedsahamdleplease]

Same here. Girls are amazing.

[@eg-draw]

I always want to be like the other girls but I am not and this is actually really bad and do not help you get any attention at all. I feel lost. And envy.

[@mygod2529]

Yes I agree woman should help each other not bringing down others people.

[@ninjachicz1113]

love this. im still working on myself and actually feel bad when i dont feel like other girls and have been working on convincing myself that i AM like other girls

[@marybean2231]

I used to be like this when I was my most insecure. Protip: you can be nerdy and hyperfem! Do what you like! (Das me!)

[@alyssapinon9670]

Hey I’m nerdy and hyperfem too! Mariana Adams Foster and Elle Woods are my idols

[@marybean2231]

@@alyssapinon9670 I love your style babe, keep rockin'.

[@a1exneedsahamdleplease]

I love this! Personally I’m hyperfem and into martial arts, idk what that’d be called cause I don’t really like any other sports besides fighting, maybe femmepunk?

[@marybean2231]

@@a1exneedsahamdleplease No labels needed, you're awesome!

[@Em_Elizabeth]

I usually go for the dark/light academia look for feminine and nerdy.

[@keanuapproved]

So, I was kind of a pick me girl back then. It all sums up to this. This is my own story and I hope you can be open minded and not judgmental. I was very insecure and had no self confidence since as long as I could remember. The reason why was because I had been treated as an outcast every since childhood. I felt out of place and I had social anxiety to make it worse. I wanted to somehow fit in with the others as well but sure it doesn’t work most times. The built up bitterness in me says I don’t want to be treated like this anymore. I was very insecure and ashamed of myself. I wanted to have a best friend like everyone. I always thought, do i seem like a pushover? Am I boring? I was always the last person left in groupmate picking because no one wanted me in their group. I was a quite, shy and timid girl. I couldn’t speak for myself and I couldn’t say what I wanted to say. I could only just imagine how it felt to be as confident and accepted as them. So I decided, if no one really wants to be with me, then so be it. I don’t wanna be like you ‘normies’ no more. I just stood up for it, and eventually treated myself as if I was a different type of girl. I felt alienated and even got called many names. It hurt me more. I thought then to myself, no one likes me when I am myself, but when I wanted to be visible to just anyone no one still liked me. It was a tough one. I had no partner in class. I always sat alone eating my lunch. I didn’t have a friend to talk to in free time. All before I acted quirky and pick me. When I became one, one or two showed up and I was finally included. But I figured I was just there. Not a part of it. About the part- I’m so quirky and I’d do the things other girls won’t, is just another way of us saying. Hey, there’s something different we can do too. We can be good at something too. It’s all for attention. Attention I never even had but seemed so easy for everyone. It’s a different reason and story for everyone. It’s inevitable and sometimes you just do it to impress your crush and somehow make them see you as a unique person. But even acting as a pick me girl. I was still not happy. I felt worse because I changed myself. Because I tried to be someone I am not. Being a pick me girl was a way for me to somehow make my self grow confidence. I acted proud because I wanted to be proud of me. I think it’s just immaturity now. Thankfully it passes with growth. not every pick me girl you meet is a bad person. some might just find a hard time finding a place in this bustling and demanding world. maybe they just want to be accepted and noticed. maybe they just want to happy too. The difference is! Instead of acting like ooh I’m so boyish, I didn’t lol. Pop up memory: I was sorta known in our grade because I excelled in edu and idk maybe some guys had a crush on me and some girls would talk behind my back and say omg she just wants to be in the spotlight and seduce all the boys. Bruh I don’t it’s my fault that I study hard.

[@nicoleagpuon7300]

I had the similar experience but I’ve outgrown my old ways too. Love the growth for you~ 💗💗💗

[@dakwatungu93]

Word by word you’re basically telling my life in the past. And the last part was my fav words to my friends back then like okay it’s not my fault I’m smarter bcs I studied harder? But I’ve grown out from that pick me phase and I just wear and do whatever I want to do without minding what other people think, and I see other girls as who they are and be.

[@aeoligarlic4024]

For real, "pick me" girls aren't just made in a day. There is some societal happening that usually pushes her away and made her that way

[@_fleur]

I'm convinced that my somewhat pick-me-ish phase might just have been (still) undiagnosed autism, I would not be surprised

[@lumieredice485]

honestly, we can be friends! do you all have a social i can meet you all on?

[@sc6658]

Thank you for mentioning that girls who don’t wear makeup get labeled as “pickme” whether we hold those attitudes or not. I’m a butch lesbian and I’ve literally dealt so much with people calling me a pickme when I mention it offhand for literally any reason (for example me saying I don’t know about x brand because I don’t wear makeup if someone asks me when I’m just trying to establish I’m kinda useless in the subject). The issue lies in the attitude and not someone’s interests or attributes and I wish people would stop to consider that before they throw GNC women like me under the bus.

[@phoenix5719]

I was into books and martial arts, no makeup, had wonderful girl friends who were supportive, and was a Swiftie (still am, but I don't get much time for songs due to studies) throughout my teen years. I did what I loved.

[@Yourmom-fl7nr]

I love that for you!

[@claire4212]

I’m a Swiftie too :))

[@thisisafamilyshow...orisit4351]

Im literally you 😃

[@imwastingmytimeonthis677]

good for you >

[@connaeris8230]

Being a Swiftie is not an alternative thing imo. She is very, very famous, she wins Grammys and things like that. If people singled you out for liking Taylor Swift, I wonder what they would have said to someone who listened to classical music...

[@sadenicaise4396]

ngl, I wouldn’t say that there are no storylines about the other guys. I’ve seen many videos about pick me boys, and believe me I’ve seen guys act the same way

[@phoenix5719]

True. The 'nice guy' trend.

[@louisratatoulielinson]

some masculine dudes make fun of femboys

[@onelijayamaha8746]

It's so funny how people keep on saying "It's 2022! Stop labeling people!" yet continue to create these new "stereotypes" like "That girl", "bruh girl", "pick me girl", etc. Like what? Society is weird as hell.

[@srujanamudumbai9598]

Worst part is even if you actually are not like "others" Because you have different tastes, you are afraid to be that Or say that because you'll be labeled as a "pick me girl"

[@cloud-ai_]

Agreed

[@gyeomibear]

i dont understand why girls are either one of the two things "the other girl" or the "pick me girl" personally, I love video games, waking up early, drawing, and travelling. what does that make me? myself.

[@purpledoodle06]

As sacheu said " we cant even have a personality without it being a stereotype" In fact, so many women are a combination of all these personalities cuz, surprise surprise, women are multi dimensional people.

[@Clydedonovn2424]

I hatee when media portrays women with like a particular personality stereotypes, like either she is the girl who plays sport, thats it ! She just reads! That's it! Or she lovess pink thats is! Nobody is like that in real life, every one has so many different aspects about themselves !

[@inspiredby624]

I think going through a "pick me girl" stage is a natural part of growing up. When you haven't figured out who you truly are yet defining yourself by what you are _not_ (and seeking validation for this) can be a first step towards carving out your own identity and becoming more confident in yourself

[@firstnamelastname153]

I hope that phase has long past

[@comebacktohauntme]

this is the most intelligent comment i have ever seen on youtube

[@troastkoop]

I agree with you. "I'm not like other girls" phase is fine as long as it doesn't turn into lifestyle.

[@businessisboomin7252]

This feels like a documentary, AND I LOVE IT

[@sophiemarie1551]

i seriously love how real and unfiltered she is with all of her content. in these times it’s honestly hard to find an influencer that’s 100% genuine and true and actually mean what they say. she rly helps me see that i’m real and i have flaws and that it’s completely ok. i was born to be real not perfect.

[@ally_0643]

I don't understand pick me girls: it's totally okay if you don't like makeup or hanging out with girls but WHY you have to act like you're superior just because of it?! Like why do you consider yourself better if you just have different interests?

[@kitsterangel]

My theory about pick me girls is that they felt like they didn't fit in with the traditional view of femininity so they in turn "weaponized" that by making fun of traditional femininity. Those girls then in turn do the same to the pick mes now. Either way, like you said, no one wins. Stop bullying people for liking shit. No one is different and no one is the same, we've all got shit in common and shit that's not in common.

[@alyssapinon9670]

For me the only thing I’ll criticize people for is putting down others to make themselves look better. And even then I’ll be more understanding if they are still young. Trust me, I’m a hyperfem girl and I’ve seen tomboy and hyperfem pick me’s and they are both different brands of toxic.

[@adsvert3909]

@@alyssapinon9670 well said👌💖

[@alyssapinon9670]

@@adsvert3909 thank you! My ex friend is a tomboy pick me and my former sorority president is girly pick me. They both suck

[@memethingz6004]

This comment is the most patriarchal thing I’ve heard. MEN LOVE TRADITIONAL FEMININITY. TRADITIONAL FEMININITY IS THE STANDARD. this trend literally turned so patriarchal it’s taken over actual pick me feminine women who shame women who defy patriarchal gender norms. U forget that in the end of the day feminine women will get picked. Women literally perform femininity bc patriarchy conditioned us to perform it. We have been coerced into being feminine from birth. Ur take is so regressive and ironic and not to mention how lesbphobic this is since we lesbians are the ones who are statistically most masc and reject beauty standards as a feminist act

[@memethingz6004]

@@alyssapinon9670 there’s nothing pick me about going against gender norms. Men who defy gender norms get celebrated while women get shamed and attacked for doing the same. Congrats on ur double standard ur no different than a typical misogynist

[@LifeWithoutCovid]

Society tries to show women that they are always challenging each other, whether who is the best or the most beautiful and who attract the boys more , in fact they are taught to be like this . I'd love to hear more about that from u ❤

[@j.jharieee]

At last, someone has the courage to explain everything about this effin' trend. 👏🏻

[@glyzahbuenafe9598]

I like this commentary, makes me realize more about me and my fellow women's culture. I learn so much about the socialization and how everyone reacts between this 'behavior'. Zoe's right at the end of the day, we're all just humans seeking validation either will it be men or women.

[@Korfax124]

The "pick-me guy" does exist in some way, but because of the social/cultural norms it manifests differently. In my opinion the "simp" is probably the closest you get to a pick-me guy since they go out of their way for a girl to... "accept him picking her"(?) I'm not sure how to formulate it...

[@yongsth1020]

I really love how unproblematic and untoxic zoe can talk about these topics that actually tend to become toxic really easy, i appreciate that a lot about her

[@tranquilaamigo1554]

I love this video soo much. I remember i always felt like I wasn't a part of any "girl generalisation": that girl, bruh girl, vsco girl, pick me girl or other. It ended in being afraid of liking things I like bc I didn't want to be judged. I think it is so stupid to put people in those boundaries just to be part of some selection like... let me live my life in my own way. I would love to see that people don't give a shit anymore about this. Let accept liking what most people like and also liking those less known things without being categorised I hope I expressed what I really meant bc English isnt my first language

[@natasha5553]

This is exactly how I feel!! Good to know I am not alone

[@poppycalliope]

I have never felt the need to be "different" I believe each one of us is already unique and we should embrace that and not force ourselves to stand out ...

[@gustavo_friendlyneighbor]

omg the way you talk is so ✨expensive✨ in a really good way ofc😭

[@hhhffflll]

Zoe, if you ever wrote a book, I would buy it. I love the message you are spreading through your series. Keep it going. This is what we need.

[@honeymilk3815]

It's not wrong seeking for approval and attention but there's a limit to EVERYTHING.

[@workofaya4546]

I mean if somebody craves someone's validation and attention then go for it ig....but degrading someone and act misogynistic is not it, babes. You are not better that way nor do you seem more attractive. So pls get a life before end up leading a sad life. Thank you xoxo

[@bougiepeaches5497]

I swear it just makes me want to rip my hair out and hit my head on the wall out of cringe. Just say you're interested in other stuff and call it a day without comparing yourself to other women to make yourself better than other women like STOP!

[@bougiepeaches5497]

Even though I'm not going to rip my hair out nor hit my head on the wall, I'm just saying that it's hella annoying.

[@jklmr]

Interesting perspective, never thought about it that way. Good Video

[@jesslololol]

i remember a boy called me a pick-me girl because I was wearing something "dressy" and was "trying to get attention". The whole "pick me girl" title is so mysonginistic because its assuming whenever a girl does anything its for male validation.

[@siirifani4ever]

Note to self and anyone who needs it: go learn a new skill, a new language, take a walk in nature, try a new recipe, We need a break from this mess of non-sense (not talking about Zoe) that social media bombards us with. It all seems so far away when you step away from it.

[@khalilahd.]

I love when you break down trends like this 😂💜 I feel like we all know a “pick me girl” lol

[@tharealcar-lee509]

I’ve been really having my own internalized misogyny as of late. I needed this and it’s so so so true

[@shronk4259]

i remember a few years ago i told a girl that i liked more 'masculine' kind of clothing and she called me a pick me girl and from that point on i tried to be super feminine so I wouldn't be called a pick me girl. now i don't have the energy to care anymore and honestly wearing more traditionally 'masculine' clothes just makes me feel so much more comfortable and it literally has nothing to do with men lmao

[@kathy582]

this is mind blowing yet simple and true there's no pick me trend for men and there's no way to be a girl for real it's a new era of people just doing things they like to do also it's very true that overanalyzing the pick me thing hurts even the women analysing it this video was refreshing it's going to be challenging unlearning all the things I had told myself were true

[@eduardasartorio8932]

6:31 HER SISTER OMG LMFAO (she be like “😒”)

[@kalynnebenson9992]

I honestly was embarrassed for a while because of people making fun of the “pick me” girls because I fell into a lot of the categories that they are labeled under. For example I don’t really like wearing makeup, and I like sports or whatever. And even though I knew it was dumb I started to wear makeup so people wouldn’t think i was trying to get attention by “not being like other girls”. Long story it was stupid that I would change something about myself for other people, and that if you want to do something just do it! Don’t let other people influence your decisions. Do what makes you happy!

[@your_sugar_sista5156]

Girly brings the important issues and solves it with ease you are my comfort youtuber

[@CanyiWang]

8:00 the sun is making her look like a goddess omg

[@srbee9972]

You know, in modern society everyone is being labeled. And that's so toxic. Like, why can't everyone be unique? We are all "not like the other girls" in reality. It's time to embrace our individuality

[@grace.stewartt4224]

At this point if there’s no ambulance sirens in your video , is it even your video? 😂😂 Women / girls in general are not all the same. The variety of passions, and interests, personalities that’s something wonderful to embrace. 💕

[@gretaa8135]

exactly! i always thought that this pick me trend was just another excuse to judge other women and scrutinize everything they do

[@brooke-lynneamos8333]

I really like your videos. They just handle and talk about the social issues of today. And the girl issues of today, your so wise even if your so young.😁😅🐈🌺keep making great videos Zoe!!!

[@gretq-1234]

8:35 I could not agree more, Why are women and girls be labeled for every small step they take for themselves?? Why should we be judged for just enjoying the little things?

[@piroshk1968]

because we live in a hyper misogynistic society

[@azizalarrie28yearsago8]

Kendall: I'm weirdo Gurl a weirdo never says " I'm weirdo " if they are truly weirdo

[@jennienitu2824]

i love how you simplified this topic with facts ,seriously we should stop comparing ourselves to other and judging others 💜

[@not_right_now]

You’ve explained the topic so beautifully and in words I’ve never thought of saying before . I’ve always felt ashamed for saying stuff like "I don’t like wearing make up " but I really do think others who do it are really skilled and patient and beautiful , or "I like sports" since it’s actually fun and healthy , or "boys are less drama" that’s true to some extent but there are other issues that aren’t in the women side . I’ve never meant to hurt another person and simply was stating my preference politely and I’ve gotten such dirty looks and remarks So I hope anyone reading this , do whatever u like as long as it’s not hurtful to others , stay safe loves 💕

[@Natalie-vr2rt]

"there is no norm with how to be a girl" love this quote Zoe

[@janno8116]

Your hand movements are literally hypnotic-

[@bewhoiam7130]

Yep, every girl is unique and has each own style so stop judging

[@blackkoneko9367]

I was never in a mindset of '' I'm not like other girls'' I AM more like '' I don't what to be that kind of girl''. For example, I don't want to be the easy ticket for guys ( you shouldn't seek male attention like that also these girls don't even realize how ridiculous they actually look when they act that way), I don't want to dress myself like that just to get attention ( I actually fell very uncomfortable when people stare at me is that weird?) I don't want to be a gossip girl that talks shit about others....and so on. It's really a shame we girls don't stand up for one another but actually, we bring other girls to shame for the way they dress, the way they look instead to be positive and supportive. Man is doing it right they do talk about other guys in a negative way but you just don't see it so much as you do with girls. Thi is really sad. Great topic Zoe.

[@amdt26og22]

I love your videos because you bring everything back to the bass tracks. Everyone likes to make excuses but you're very clear with how you think and feel and it definitely responds to me.

[@bellapeaches170]

4:56 why is this literally me i used to say my favorite color was blue because i wanted to be different but tbh i looooove pink.

[@haha-pr6bw]

exactly! ive seen some women on youtube shaming other women for dressing "revealingly" or putting effort into the way they look saying they're "insecure" and "craving male attention" "toxic" and "disloyal".. like what?? the world doesnt revolve around men. and stop projecting your insecurities onto others. and stop acting like there's only one way to live in your authenticity. let women live!

[@ariahmak]

I just found this video and your channel. Thank you so much for your insight into "pick-me" culture! This is such a refreshing perspective; I cannot wait to check out more of what you have to say in the future.

[@JulieLeChef]

One of my favorite videos of yours so far. Everything is really well said. Personality doesn't form from putting people down, let's all just give it a rest already and live our best lives! I also think a major issue that plays into this are media depictions of girls and women, which are almost always incapable of any real depth and yet often fool not just men but also women into feeling like our options of "how to be" are limited, and that whatever we pick will be judged mercilessly. It's a lose-lose situation for us gals.

[@ivartheboneless1334]

yes! finally someone brought this up i wish every person would watch this and realize it's making other people uncomfortable. especially i feel suffocated by this overclassification, whenever i think about this it's just overwhelming. And btw i think these pick me girl videos are unnecessary and annoying. Thank you again for telling the facts.

[@chanswall6265]

The word " pick me" nowadays is just defined as having hobbies or interest. Oh you said out loud that you listen to same song as him wow you want his attention 🤡" oh you play sports, you wear/don't wear makeup ? Such a pick me" I think instead of hardly judging and blaming each other, as girls we should appreciate our unique traits. You play sports wow that's cool, you pay effort to wear makeup, omg you look so nice so basically girls won't be seeking male attention cuz we'll be enjoying each other's traits and specialties by that

[@maineverything5023]

As a woman I find pathetic this trend because I feel is based on stereotypes created by society and being reinforced by women. Just let us enjoy our hobbies and activities without overanalyzing every single thing we do.

[@w__nyy]

But I think everyone had a ‘pick me’ phase