I'm REFUSING To Attend My Brothers Wedding After His Fiancee Constantly Shows Her Dislike Towards Me

[@MarkNarrations]

A couple of kind folks here have let me know the explanation on "triangulation" is a bit off, so really sorry about that! I've been looking into it further but I'm not going to attempt to share another link I find in case I balls it up again but feel free to share your thoughts on it here. Much love all!

[@jennagerber]

H huh hhhhjh

[@jennagerber]

Nyuy

[@shaunwhitehead1485]

WTF who cares

[@stevebanner5609]

Toxicity will probably break them up eventually or even sooner as marriage is a whole new ball game.

[@jonatackfamilyfriends6176]

Due to a weird collection of circumstances, I turned a two-year membership in a destructive, high-control group into a lifetime career of writing and educating the public on this kind of thing. My boss and I make videos about triangulation, gaslighting, shunning, etc, so yeah, I wasn't surprised to see that the first definition you got wasn't quite all that - it's a highly nuanced and fast-developing topic, and even the experts have a hard time settling on common language (we've just about jettisoned the term "cult" as it's too loaded, for instance, and people don't understand that it's not the kooky beliefs, it's the level of control, and that even a suburban book club can be highly toxic and controlling, given the wrong people in charge). The best advice I can give is: if you find yourself acting like any of the characters in Arrested Development - GET HELP.

[@madambutterfly1997]

Having a masters degree in psychology, does not make you a human lie detector

[@MarkNarrations]

Indeed!

[@kaykay8855]

Unfortunately, people like the brother’s gf, believe they are.

[@yobabycolin2933]

😂😂. For real. That’s like saying I’m a master of everything literature just because I read a lot.

[@angelizdaboss]

Right! Wtf is wrong with future SIL

[@83gemm]

I think SHE is lying about her degree, because everyone I know in that field would NEVER say something that stupid. They tend to be overly trusting because they’re so familiar with the nuances of motivations and communication.

[@ettinakitten5047]

Story 1: As a psych major in university, my response to her claim that her psych degree lets her spot lies would probably be to share a bunch of citations on how bad pretty much everyone, including psych experts, cops and lawyers, actually are at spotting lies.

[@paulastiles5507]

Well, she's also an alcoholic and a crackhead who snorts adderall, so grandiosity is pretty ingrained at this point.

[@judelbugsrutter6727]

I personally think she’s doubled down because she’s hiding something and op is a convenient scapegoat

[@TigerSpirit67KItty42]

@@holographicwing AND a person who seems to struggle to stay sober when sober conversations are required lol

[@paulinadeboer3604]

She is controling and no-one better than a master in psychology knows how to manipulate a partner and separate them from the family

[@mogulmade]

Story 1: Where is the consequence!? The whole family is paying to go to Italy and is continuing with the trip despite these people treating them like trash. Smh.

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

I mean this might be the last time they’re in contact with the brother and his girlfriend, the mom is only going because she wants to be there for her son otherwise she wouldn’t be going. A lot of people wait until a big event is done with before changing the contact they have with toxic people, that way there’s less or no major blow up from the people who stand by the toxic people for “ruining” their event, milestone, etc. Also they’re only attending the rehearsal and wedding and then enjoying their time away from the to-be DIL/SIL, there’s plenty to do in Italy that would eat up any time spent away from them.

[@lynnw7155]

My thoughts exactly. Alexis is getting exactly what she wants: everyone at her wedding. WHY?

[@maggpiprime954]

Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if some of them are going for the "soap opera in an exotic location." They're gonna be passing around packets of secret popcorn hidden in lace hankies.

[@c2c255]

Supposedly. None will spend much time with couple. That’s it

[@sfsin3380]

Yesterday I saw a story where an OP asked if he would be the Ah for going NC with his homophobic sister because she didn't want him around her kids. The OP still got ESH's from people saying he was an AH for abandoning the kids You know the kids he wasn't allowed to see. Unfortunately when POS's weaponize contact with kids they get away with it and people who try to escape that get called AH's.

[@kaykay8855]

Story 1: why would brother’s gf or anyone accuse someone of faking a pregnancy/miscarriage?

[@83gemm]

I’m kind of ok with her pulling her own brother aside (although this wasn’t her brother), and privately saying, “Hey, you guys were on a break and this caused you to get back together. I can’t help feeling a little weird about that. I’m sorry if I’m crossing a line, but I love you and I’m worried.” Something like that with a person you are very close to, especially if the gf in question was throwing other red flags, is possibly in the realm of acceptable. But that is NOT what is going on here at all. SIL doesn’t like OP, for whatever reason. So she used OP’s miscarriage as a chance to brag about her own master’s degree. She’s vile.

[@Only1199]

I bet she doesn't even have a masters degree in psychology and is faking it.

[@candypettynettie487]

Because she's a drama queen

[@83gemm]

@@Only1199 I said the same thing on another thread of replies to a different comment. 😂

[@calebhoffman6368]

This is to solidify her spot in the family. To take the focus off her shitty behavior. To put a target on someone. Narcissistic behavior

[@CaptBrightside89]

WTF does Tom see in Alexis? Is it not a HUGE red flag when your SO alienates your entire family and is so clearly in the wrong? It boggles the mind how some people can be so dumb.

[@Zanzetihunter]

Because he isn't thinking with his brain, he's thinking with something.... lower down.

[@AusExplorer]

They have a kid and they're both drunks and junkies. They have a lot in common.

[@Yume10605]

Also she is keeping him an addict. He might not be on drugs but he is on alcohol. My ex SIL did this to my brother...sadly her actions lead to him feeling trapped and unable to get away and he took his own life. I hope op's bil can get away for himself and his kids

[@jackspring7709]

Co-dependant.

[@miminana-hd6nf]

@@Yume10605 they are both alcoholics. Someone should report them to cps, I doubt their kids are safe with them. They are both addicts. When OP said that there was no opportunity to discuss the situation sober because they are both, always, drunk that said it all. codependency at it's best.

[@Mia-dt3gl]

OP in Story 2 deleted the story and their Reddit account, which tells me that they didn’t like what Reddit had to say and they’re not going to change their minds.

[@brokenmask333]

Sounds like op will be surprised when her kids go NC

[@ComaLies225]

That’s usually the case with these types. They were seeking validation but cowered as soon as they were told otherwise

[@Magical_Flower95]

That poor guy.. hope they enjoy having no contact with their kids… They are those parents that wonder why their kids don’t visit

[@brokenmask333]

@@Magical_Flower95 or let them see their grandchildren

[@dementedqueen4392]

It could be that it was deleted because it was fake AF. It sounds to me like some kind of rage bait post. Did you notice the little details they threw in there? Like the fact that one of the kids is living in a 1 bedroom flat with their kid or the fact the other kid lives in a flat with a bunch of roommates. It feels like the OP was throwing out a situation where the kids did NOT look like they had it together and these people in their 40s could retire early. Sounds suspect. Problem is, most of AITA is fake and the mods do nothing about it.That's why subreddits like Am I the Angel and Am I the Devil exist. Not to point out how delusional OPs are, but to point out how fake everything on AITA are fake because they involve so many tropes and are usually rage bait. It feels like something thrown out there to cause a huge nasty debate between the younger and older generation.

[@bermudabeachbum3582]

I don't understand why everyone is so scared of the brother just because he throws tantrums. It would be good for him if someone ignores him.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

Just beat his ass!

[@tallyp.7643]

Push a drunk hard enough they either dive further into the bottle or become violent. They remember his worst behaviors from before with the drugs and probably don't want to push him into that again.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Or if everyone is honest with him, tells him calmly that his and her behavior is unacceptable and everyone will stop dealing with them until they can behave like normal people. A united, calm front with everyone can work. It's like dealing with a toddler throwing a tantrum. Don't threaten, just don't negotiate with terrorists. Stop placating them.

[@LA-mz1dd]

They are scared of not being allowed to see the kids

[@tallyp.7643]

@@joycevaughn5913 R'amen! He pushes because he knows they won't push back. They've been "well trained" to just skirt around his worst aspects. They need to stop enabling his behavior, because he's not clean. He just substituted one addiction for another and his worst qualities are already emerging.

[@Russman67]

Alexis is a sea of red flags with a gravitational pull. And she still in the end gets what she wants (the appearance of everything being normal on a destination wedding) because no one wants to be cut off from Tom and the kids. Here's hoping the marriage is short and Tom grows a spine so they can exorcise this demon.

[@Swnsasy]

Man, she had more red flags than in all of China! Sweet Baby Tiny Jesus

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yeah. I don't see this marriage lasting. I'm hoping it ends BEFORE children are born.

[@hausofphid3966]

​@@PrincessQ-fj9ly Sounds like they already have kids together.

[@AmukaAkuma]

Fat chance, she will weaponize the kids against all of them. I am just wondering where all the money for destination weddings, meth, heroin, Adderall a alcohol addiction is coming from lol.

[@jasonrustmann7535]

We can only hope she meets an early end before she ruins the lives further of everyone around her.

[@Tyanna01]

Story 1: Mom and dad are constantly drunk? They use relationships with the kids as blackmail to keep the family in line? Call CPS. I can only imagine how bad they are behind close doors. Save those children from their toxic parents.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

I’d get a nanny cam for the babies In a teddy bear lol

[@impagain]

I wish OP had said to Alexis "just because you would fake a pregnancy to get your ex back doesn't mean anyone else would." 😒

[@apopuffkin1717]

Story 2 is a great example of why you should not have kids if you want an early retirement.

[@Yume10605]

Yup also I'm betting that op doesn't like his you get as much as his oldest kids. Due to the youngest being a monkey wrench in his plans

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

​@@Yume10605 then they should've worn condoms 🤷

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Jup. Kids also cost a lot of money, which means you retire even later... These parents are really disgusting. I understand wanting to retire earlier, but these people are in their 40s. Do they hate their kid so much that staying in their family home a few more years is so unthinkable?

[@apopuffkin1717]

@@Nathan_Bookwurm Yeah, not to mention they only told him a few months before they wanted to move. They could have at least given him a year to see if it was possible for him to pull it together, while also not making any hard plans to move until he successfully did so. A few months? The courts grant squatters more time to vacate a property...sheesh

[@lynnw7155]

Yeah. To be fair, the youngest should get to stay at home as long as the siblings did. When you have kids, it messes with your life until all the kids are successfully launched. What's another couple of years to make sure he's OK?

[@AndyyWithAY]

Getting a psychology degree doesn't make you a human lie detector 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ If it did, more people would get that degree and those who did would be making serious bank. I would go on the 10 day trip to Italy. You're not in the wedding party so you can bugger off and do whatever you want. Go to the wedding and just leave right after. Sounds like this family is a bigger problem than the bride though. He used to be an addict and abuse her?? No way I would've stayed. They're not married and have no kids. NTA even if she doesn't attend, but I would go spite her.

[@Tammohawk1]

I'm practically a walking talking lie detector. It sucks to know when people are lying to your face.

[@Swnsasy]

PhD in Forensic Psychology and Applied Behavior here.. You know what I say about myself?? .. I'm book smart but I have zero sense! 😂😂People tell me ALL the time they would not have guessed that is my education. One reason, which so many colleagues are like this is because we SHUT OFF after work.. I've had "friends" I went out with ask me to "watch" this guy/girl to see if there is "something" wrong.. No longer friends. She has a Masters in Psychology but doesn't know that she has to actually sit and watch a person for a while to learn their tales etc... You cannot just say, welp, you're lying because I have a Masters😂😂😂😂

[@Ryusola]

Yeah weirdly enough all the psychology majors Ive ever met, my aunt included are just manipulative self centered arseholes. Like...what? Does your study field give no introspection?

[@Swnsasy]

​@@Tammohawk1 ROFLOL Omgosh I love this post! 😂😂

[@shebakoby]

that's just a thing a narcissist would say (or any other cluster of Bees really) - they over-exaggerate their competence. Personally I'd question the psychology degree, as Alexis sounds like a compulsive liar.

[@Rankinen]

Story 1: More than this wedding drama, I'm worried over the two kids (under the age of five) who are living with alcoholic parents (also possibly using drugs based on their past and behavior) with anger issues and used by said parents as a blackmail tool when things don't go their way. If even adults are scared of these two losing temper, what are the children experiencing..? Someone should make a call to CPS so they can at least monitor the situation.

[@ruthbeamish8849]

I so, so agree with you. I had typed out a comment similar to yours but yours was beautifully structured. Social Services should definitely be alerted

[@nomollyshere]

That’s what I was gonna say: call CPS and reject the invite!!! They’re toxic together but the kids shouldn’t suffer.

[@LaraMagicorld]

That's what I was thinking! Everyone talking about what a huge AH Alexis is (and probably an abuser too), but I dont see many ppl commmenting about those kids!

[@PiscesMoon2You]

Call CPS and grandparent or family member file for custody.

[@SymbioteMullet]

That last story is a prequel. The eventual sequal will read "our kids don't want to talk to us anymore, why is that?"

[@AmethystEyes]

And the finally, “my kids won’t take care of us in our old age?”

[@rivertam7827]

I fail to see how taking the 19 year old with them gets in the way of their retirement. He isn't asking them to wipe his arse for him, he just wants a roof over his head. Downsize to a 2 bedroom flat, let the kid stay there, pay a nominal amount of board, let him buy his own food etc. and let him finish his studies. They would still be free to bugger off on holiday and do whatever they want a they please. If anything, having him there would help pay the bills. I just don't understand these parents, raging arseholes is an understatement.

[@terramarini6880]

Built in house sitter while they travel would be perfect, and no 2nd BR, they don't ever plan on having guests? They plan on always being the guest? Maybe they don't want to be parents anymore? Cause this is how you not be parents anymore. Good luck getting anyone to take care of them when they're older or to even care at all for that matter. They will all suddenly also have no room for them. I would never do my kids dirty like this, my youngest is still at home and he can stay as long as he's pitching in somehow. Rent out there be wilding...

[@Radar-db1bc]

@@terramarini6880 they’re not worried….the kids need the inheritance more than the parents need caretakers.

[@vanzy01]

What is the nineteen-year-old doing to contribute to the household? it doesn't sound like he's in any post high school education or have a job. Do he even do chores, there is too much missing information. Do he expects to live at mommies and Daddys for four years without doing anything. At least the older brother and sister went to college why they still live at home. Do people really expect parents to still raised their adult children?

[@Kat-ov9du]

​@@vanzy01 a lot of questions left out we don't know. That's the biggest issue and I don't think it's unreasonable if he expects the same his siblings had when the parents don't point out any reason why he shouldn't outside of wanting to be retired. To me that indicates he isn't doing anything different more or less than his other siblings so yeah the expectation would still be there. If he wasn't doing the same as his siblings maybe a bit more justified but we don't know and the parents didn't point out any difference between them only how they're treating him.

[@briannawilliams2867]

​@@terramarini6880 Yes they only want a one bedroom so that their kids or grandchildren can't stay the night. Honestly it sounds like they are trying to relieve their early 20s. They only want a place to sleep b4 going off again.

[@WobblesandBean]

OP: "My boyfriend's family has a long history of substance abuse, he treated me like garbage and his entire family enables my BIL's toxic fiance who has made everyone's lives miserable and refuses to call CPS to save the children from their addict parents, but seriously, they're such great people!" 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@somethingelse4204]

Story 1: Two addicts raising children under five? Can someone make a call to CPS? Hard to keep your kids from seeing family when they aren't in your custody anymore.

[@LOLtz1]

Story 2: crazy how parents can kick out a kid at 18 and expect them to survive by themselves. While at the same time not preparing them for it.

[@piratekit3941]

The fact his siblings were fast to defend him also tells me they aren't great parents to begin with.

[@kaylaprice370]

Jesus christ..... he's 19 not a freaking child. Gtfoh

[@WabbitHunter68]

@@piratekit3941 Makes me wonder why they bothered having kids in the first place.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

@@WabbitHunter68 Just ticking off the boxes on a To Do list. Yeah, I couldn't imagine telling my child, who isn't done with college or have a good full time job, well, you have a couple of months before your home is gone. Bye! Aren't you going to congratulate us on retiring early? Side bet: they want all the kids out of the house so they can do some "open relationship" or some other freaky shit. I am biased, I hate the upper middle-class "retirement" garbage where you'll end up getting lots of updates on them being bourgeois-ey on golf courses or some 6 week cruise. Guess they won't be bragging when kids cut contact with them.

[@lina9535]

​@@WabbitHunter68 I think I can answer that. Some people get kids to have "carers" when they get older and can't work/can't take care of themselves. To me that's just gross, it's like "Oh I'll create a human being that can be my butler/maid when I become an old fart".

[@CodenameTurtle]

I was kicked out at 18, soon as high school ended. My mom decided to move to a neighboring town, so she cancelled the apartment and just told me I had 1 month to move out. I had no clue about anything and felt disappointed and abandoned. BUT I do understand, because she was a single parent with no money. I don't see why a couple in their early 40s who are clearly well-off are in such a rush though, especially when they took care of all the other kids. Thankfully his siblings seem really really sweet and protective.

[@modestyblaise5895]

Story 1. If Alexis has a degree in psychology, how did she qualify with so little knowledge? Needs therapy herself methinks.

[@WaitingxInxSilence]

I can’t help but suspect Alexis is lying about her education.

[@Gerilyn2003]

Yeah, an alcoholic; former meth addict has a Master's in Psychology?? I call BS.

[@joaolima7131]

​@@Gerilyn2003 I know some bad people who have questionable degrees, so unfortunately I think I can believe it

[@ndawn90]

​@@Gerilyn2003 I don't know, my ex was a raging alcoholic and addict and he got a Bachelor's degree in Psychology from a fairly prestigious university, so... To be fair, I'm pretty sure he mostly coasted because his daddy was a doctor who was an alumnus from that university (he did his undergrad there too), so maybe that was it? But I saw his degree, it was totally legit. Not exactly the same, but kinda similar. 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

[@paulastiles5507]

A lot of people get degrees in that field because it's free therapy--or they like manipulating people and think it will make them better at it.

[@rachael8646]

Signs of nervousness and discomfort can potentially indicate lying. THEY CAN ALSO INDICATE THAT SOMEONE WENT THROUGH A MISCARRIAGE AND ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WHILE TALKING ABOUT IT. What a psycho to think that she can or should try to guess that someone is lying about something like this, and then tell people on top of that!

[@threeducks157]

In my humble opinion, having kids is a lifetime commitment. Just because someone hits 18 doesn't automatically make them " adults". I don't care if they are 20,30 or 50 my kids will always be my kids and i will be there when they need me. Just yesterday i saw one of those court camera videos, where a 90 year old men got a speeding ticket, he was on his way to the hospital to take his 60 yo son for his cancer treatment, thats the kind of parent i aspire to be.

[@hatinmn]

Story 2: that was me when I graduated from high school, my Dad remarried and his plans/their plans did not include me. I was out on my own with no clue on what to do. I worked retail and lived poor, I saved my money and was able to go to college at 23 part-time. Took me 10 years to earn a degree. It set me back so far from my peers career wise and financially. And it took my Dad a long time to rebuild a strained relationship with me. My Dad put my 2 older sisters and all 3 step-kids through college. But, he's happy with his new family so that is all that really matters (snort!).

[@ButterflyAngel008]

For story 2, at 19 I was a FRESHLY graduated High School Senior that was super unsure in my place in the world. I wanted to take a year off from going to college (it was the 90s that was a no no) to just randomly spring this on your kid is SUCH asshole behavior. I understand you had kids young and want to enjoy life while your still young, but dividing your family is NOT the way to do it.

[@Nikephorus]

Story 1. I can't believe OP is going to that wedding. She purposely left her off the wedding invitation and calls her a liar about a miscarriage. OP needs to cut her off.

[@Streetwisefirst]

Story 2: I don’t think they’re wrong for wanting to downsize and do an early retirement. But it sort of sucks if all the other kids got to live and home and gets themselves together for a couple of years while your youngest gets the boot very early. Could they also not downsize from a four bedroom to a two bedroom, so he is not basically left stranded. So sad

[@redjoker365]

They'd probably downsize to a 2 bedroom anyway since it's kinda difficult to find a house with just 1 bedroom. Condo, yes, but they'd almost be guaranteed to get a 2 bedroom, so they'd be treating guests better than their own son

[@Wolvesbane39]

Yeah, and with the job market as it is WITH finding a place, their youngest is right that a few months really may not be enough to do both, plus going to college as well. They're really giving their youngest the short end of a stick. Housing market and job market are both pretty bad right now. There's loads of places "hiring" but some of them are fake, a lot of jobs that say they're entry level require a lot of experience and a degree, and minimum wage does not mean living wage. With college as well, they might be screwing him over. Justifying it with "You had a childhood with luxuries" is REALLY messed up too. It's just a slap in the face like, "You don't have a right to be stressed or give us grief because we gave you stuff other kids wish they had." Just all around bad vibes.

[@briannawilliams2867]

​@@redjoker365 No the OP responded to a comment saying that they only want a one bedroom specifically because they don't want any of their kids or children to stay over. That they only really want is a place to sleep bc they plan on being out a lot.

[@13thMaiden]

​@@briannawilliams2867 Jesus Christ if they hate their kids so much why the hell did they have 3 of them?? Yeesh, no wonder the other 2 don't talk to them much! Sounds like they just popped them out cause that was on their 'life goal agendas'

[@yiotatort]

My grandmother did this with the two youngest. Second youngest got pregnant at 16 so she was kicked out, because grandmother was too. Youngest was then shipped off to boarding school, she graduated a year early and was summarily kicked out at 16 as well. Times were better financially at least and neither kid ended up on the streets.

[@robertrizzo2193]

We need the after wedding update cause there is zero percent chance it’s not a shit show! I know cause I claim to have a masters degree in BS

[@terramarini6880]

I agree based on my one year of psych 101... Lol, what a tool Alexis is.

[@ewaleokadia76]

🤣

[@GC-iq9fd]

Im sorry why are they still being involved with Alexis ?? Everyone needs to be cut off if they speak to her. She’s absolutely insane. The wedding has nothing to do with anything, this needed to blow up earlier.

[@TheAwesomes2104]

People get so obsessed with being part of the children's lives that they'll do anything to appease their horrible parents. What they fail to realize is that those children will be victims of their parents horrible ways too, and one day, they might be able to provide a safe space away from abusive parents later on

[@debl3063]

Boy they sure taught her. They'll only go for the rehearsal and wedding. Pblff. Bil and sil and law sound like awful people. SIL admits she doesn't like OP and treats her like crap. I don't understand why they're going at all.

[@GC-iq9fd]

@@debl3063 THIS !! honestly

[@WobblesandBean]

It truly angers me when a family will put up with someone abusing another just cuz they have kids. The dad has severe anger issues and the mom is straight up psychotic, and they don't do or say anything? Really?

[@amandarose4469]

I moved out for colege at 17, so did my sister. But you know what, that is my family. The family in the story looked after each kid through colege, except the last one. That is the bigest problem. Move into a two bedroom apartment, then later you will have a free room

[@brandyb2931]

That last story, my kids moved out around 19 on their own, not by our encouraging. We have left at home who is 16. We would've given any of them time to stay longer of they had wanted. When they moved I was happy for them because they are doing so well, and I didn't let them see me do it, but I bawled like a baby when they pulled out of the driveway. These people should just bring their 19yo with them. They can still live their live however they choose, having their adult child there won't effect that.

[@jackspring7709]

Story 2: Wow. So you believe your son's existence was interfering with your lifestyle choices. He has my condolences having people like you for parents - and don't expect him to be there for you when you're old, frail and needy.

[@paulastiles5507]

Yeah, I mean, it's not as if he dropped out of the sky. They chose to have him. If he was going to inconvenience their planned retirement, they had 19 years-plus-9-months to figure something out.

[@cb9825]

Somehow 2 former addicts, who are now alcoholics, have money for a destination wedding. I thought addiction and alcoholism ruin your finances, but apparently not for everyone.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 ended up on Am I The Devil, but I haven't read it yet. I definitely agree that it belonged there. First of all it's unfair vs the other kids. They all got to live at home until after college. They won't even let him move with them. I have no idea where these magical and mythical places are where there's no housing or job issues, but I need to go there. I mean if OP wants to choose this hill to die on and lose all his children, whatever, but yea major YTA. At 19 I was broke AF and for years after 19 I was broke AF. IDK what I would've done if my parents were like this and just said you're an adult, make it work 🤪

[@christinacartter9784]

If you find such a magical land send me directions, please😅.

[@buildman126]

Nah, yall are just jealous that they have those kinds of funds. It isn't on the parents to let an adult live there rent free. They've given the dude ample time to get a job, pick a place, and they'll pay for. Sounds more like the kid, and most commenters, are entitled af 😂

[@AndyyWithAY]

@@christinacartter9784 I'll book a trip for the entire Waffle Gang

[@AndyyWithAY]

@@buildman126 you're entitled to your wrong opinion.

[@paulastiles5507]

@@christinacartter9784 Me, too, 'cause it ain't round here!

[@ShadowDevotion]

Story 1: Am i the only one seeing through Alexis' Plan? OP is such a Doormat, Alexis hates her, accuses her of lying and tries everything to get People on her Side and OP still bends over backwards and goes to the Wedding? Seems like wasted Time and Money..

[@HidanKitten32]

The original plan would be to go to just the rehearsal and wedding, which means they’d leave after the i dos and then leave to do their own thing. I can sort of understand if she was worried how not going at all would look to the other family members but with others being upset now that might change. Plus sounds like Op is going now more so for her mother-in-law, to keep her company

[@GiordanDiodato]

Nieces and nephews

[@Daaaanielle]

Such a doormat in such a messy family. The addiction, the abuse, the drama… this girl is addicted to that because a normal person would be out in seconds.

[@sister_bertrille911]

@@Daaaanielle Thank you for saying that. The whole family is a big red flag, She should have run years ago.

[@ShadowDevotion]

@@HidanKitten32 And going for MIL is just as stupid. MIL is probably one of those "to keep the peace"-people. Future SIL is a prime example of a Narcissist. Acting all nice when in Public and then when everyone is gone, she puts down her Mask and is being her usual self. @Dani said it too. OP is addicted to that whole Drama. OP knows how SIL is but she still goes to the Wedding and Rehearsel. That exactly is what SIL wants to play nice. Its all an Act, to play Victim and OP takes a Part in that.

[@Ducilios]

Story 2: The older siblings not talking to them much and even telling them they wouldn't be welcome is a huge red flag on OP.

[@HonorWillow]

Story 2: I’m really glad that everyone was supportive and on the son’s side. I thought Reddit was going to be saying how he’s an adult so should be able to leave and such. OP and the other parent are so selfish and blind to how bad the world is now. It’s so vile to say how the son is ungrateful and lucky to get a good childhood and the some financial support they offered

[@joaolima7131]

And unfortunately they apparently didn't learn nothing because someone said they took down the post and account

[@Kris-wo4pj]

honestly i think the 19 yr old is a free loader. why isnt he in school or have a job? he needs to be pushed out or else he'll a loser unemployed bum. i see it with my sister. my parents should have kicked her out yrs ago to make her grow up.

[@buildman126]

How's it selfish? They've given him ample time to move out, will help look for a place, and even pay all the move in costs. Idk where all you loonies get off calling them selfish. Sounds more like jealousy to me 😂😂😂

[@joaolima7131]

​@@buildman126 because their reasoning is selfish, they are treating the last son differently from the others? And all for what? Just to retire early, you are the delusional one if you aren't noticing the favoritism, it would be another thing if they were struggling with money, but this isn't the case, they are just bitter because they couldn't enjoy life because they had children early, 45 is also too early to retire anyway, 2 years aren't gonna kill them. They clearly regret being parents, you don't give up being parents after they reach 18, and the time they gave was no way enough, they should have warned him years prior, not months. Even when I was searching for a job, it took literal months, I only got one because I got a referral. Getting a job is also extremely hard if it's your first. Because many places prioritize people with experience even to be a cashier or some kind of degree.

[@HonorWillow]

@@buildman126 jealousy of what? There’s literally no need to make it personal. How is 19 ample time? You need time to save, be in a stable career, be emotionally ready etc. The other siblings got a few more years so how can you not understand how horrible that would feel on top of how bad the economy is everywhere. Moving out when you haven’t had time to save is a huge disadvantage for the start of life. It’s selfish because they are ignoring that and are probably shutting their eyes to how different it is for younger people now to move out than it was for them because they are valuing moving themselves over the well being of their child. Legally parenting ends at 18 yes but not morally or developmentally or economically. I’m not saying don’t move necessarily. The son asked to come with and I don’t see how a few years of that is too much to ask of people who decided to have kids

[@melissawittman]

Story 2: OP's youngest deserves the same treatment as the other two. OP can wait until he's finished with college and secures a job. Also, even if they want to travel, do they not want to have at least a 2nd bedroom for visits from future grandkids? OP is a HUGE AH.

[@tomnorton8499]

Well from the sound of the story, I wouldn't be surprised if they follow through with this plan that the 19 cut them out of his life.

[@KatzMcKatz]

Based on the fact that they want a one bedroom place so none of their children will ever visit, I'm pretty sure they want all the offspring permanently out of their lives. Hopefully all of the children will abide by their wishes and go NC for their parents forever. I don't think that they really love their children. I'm not sure why they even had any. They seem to be more interested in money than love.

[@MusicGirl881]

Story 1: Idk when this post was made but I give the brother’s marriage to Alexis less than 6 months till they divorce cause she ruined any and all relationships with her in laws. Also how can someone get a degree in psychology and be completely insane themselves? Sweetie having that degree doesn’t make you a human lie detector and it definitely doesn’t make you better than anyone else.

[@marshawargo7238]

OP's husband & his mom need to keep all eyes on crazy pants & tantrum boys kids! Get CPS & police involved with a paper trail EveryTime anything happens fights, drugs, driving while drinking, Anything! Work on getting the kids away so that they can't be used as pawns! Ugly Situation!!!

[@rachelwitherspoon4394]

I've noticed that many people in that particular field seem to go into it because its easier to deal with other peoples crazy, rather than your own.

[@debl3063]

doesn't sound like BIL cares if SIL is awful to his family. He's mean to them too. They both sound like bullies.

[@hhoneyy]

hi mark! im a silent listener and never comment but i wanted to thank you for your trigger warnings! although i dont have any triggers, you are the only narrators that do it and im sure many people appreciate your inclusivity! so thank uu👏🏻👏🏻

[@slick8086]

Story 1: Some one in grooms family needs to sit down with groom and ask him what he thinks about why so many people in his family dislike his fiancé.

[@k.a.4522]

I helped my parents raise my nieces but the moment I turned 18, I was expected to leave home. I hung around due to various issues until I was in my early 20's when I had a nervous breakdown after getting married to an abuser. Let your child have the same chances his siblings did. My siblings were able to use me and my parents to raise their kids but I was the one that my parents saw as a user. So sad. Give your kid a break.

[@ingloriousbetch4302]

Story 2, parents absolutely prioritized their early retirement and blatant favoritism for the older siblings over the youngest. Especially with how insanely expensive rent is and mortgages, and they think it's fine to support the oldest kids all the way thru college and just abandon the youngest 1 year into college? Ew, these ppl should not have had kids. My kids had all moved out around 19-21, and all ended up having to move back home. All it takes is a mechanic bill or having a kid to make living on your own unaffordable these days.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Yea, it's just a few years wait until the youngest is early 20 and ready to live independently. The parents are only in their 40s, they can wait. What's so terrible to stay in a 4 bedroom house in the countryland. Many many people dream of owning a place like that.

[@emilyslicer2843]

My brother just moved out from my parent and I’m zooming back in to take his place now that I’m done with university 😂😂😂😂

[@yonghominale8884]

I don't know where you live but rent and housing prices are stabilized in our area. Rents are higher but not crushing so. Young People act like life is impossible now since this is probably their first real economic crisis. Life will never be fair and it wills always be hard.

[@buildman126]

That sounds like a skill issue on your kids part or they just failed at life hardcore 😂

[@mouse2482]

​@@Nathan_Bookwurm I guess you didn't know that women in their 40's is dealing with the effects of menopause and nearing the end of their fertility cycle and during this time they need to be able to spend as much alone time as they can with their husbands. Why should any woman prioritize spending time with their adult children over spending time having sex with her husband as often as she can, while she is dealing with the increase of her sexual drive? He's in college so why hasn't or isn't he looking into living in the dorms? Oh that's right he feels entitled to have his parents to remain responsible for taking care of him until he graduates and gets a job, only then will he have to finally accept the responsibility of adulthood.

[@dianedupree-dempsey2402]

My youngest and his SO are currently saving for an apartment. He gets a discount because of the company he works for. Even with both working full time, they anticipate needing a roommate or two to be able to afford a place. Some people don’t understand how different the world is for young people today. When I was young, back in the dawn of time, I was able to live on my own in a furnished one bedroom apartment. I worked as a cook/dishwasher at a restaurant that was like Dennys but with a full ice cream menu. There’s no way that could happen today. I can’t imagine booting a nineteen year old out so I could retire early and move away.

[@Brizlebird]

Wow! The parents in the second story are absolutely vile! Why have kids if you’re not going to prioritise them and their needs, well into adulthood. Wow…just wow!

[@colleens1107]

I checked out the post on AITA and it’s already been removed. Yeah, I guess OP got verbally bitch slapped by the comments and couldn’t take it

[@buildman126]

What do you mean lmao? Helping the guy find a place and paying all the move in costs isn't enough? Dude is 19 so he needs to grow up 😂

[@netta26301]

​@@buildman126 EXACTLY !! or the 19 yr old can join the Military, since there were no implications of him going to college ?

[@redjoker365]

@@netta26301 People shouldn't have to invade and occupy other countries to survive

[@fragglegoth]

@@netta26301 What? It is very much implied in the post that he's going to college. Listen again.

[@miriamanderson6146]

I feel so sorry for the son. I supported my son through out college and he’s extremely thankful and he did great in school that he was offered a full time job when he was a junior in college. The parents should support their son even if he’s 19. He’s still basically a kid!

[@viktorvongerdenheim2999]

For story 1: Alexis intentionally did not include OP's name in the invitation. My response would be too write a card addressed only to the brother with the message: "Sorry, we choose not to come. Good luck with your marriage".

[@littleolmee]

S2: OP is one of those parents that think parenting ends at 18. I could not imagine kicking out my kids when they weren't ready so I could go do my thing. Downsizing is fine, but not allowing the youngest to come with them is ridiculous.

[@MsTemptation]

S1: Sounds like the type of family to avoid. Jeez. Former meth addicts and functioning alcoholics. Anyway NTA.

[@madcatlady]

imagine having her as your psychologist 😮

[@candypettynettie487]

S2- what selfish human beings. 19 is a young adult. They didn't even give him a chance to get his life started. I understand that they were young parents but they are also ah's!

[@jonatackfamilyfriends6176]

That's a really weird definition of Triangulation. It's basically telling Jane that Jim said/ did something awful while telling Jim that Jane said/did something, in order to keep Jane and Jim apart. No "bringing a third person into a relationship" (?!?) But yes, it's used by narcissists to control people by driving a wedge between them.

[@terramarini6880]

I knew someone like that, all of us in the friend group ( WAGs of her husbands friends) learned quickly to compare notes with each other before believing any of it... Did you say X?, No, did you say Y? No, then we tell the whole friend group the latest attempt at putting us at each others throats. Never worked on us and wonder of wonders, she found herself a new friend group and even more wonders, they were all alcoholics like her. She's dead now, I laughed when I heard the news.

[@lovinglifebutnotonearth3909]

An abuse victim who stays with an abuser says someone should leave an abuser? Oh the irony.

[@kaylaunger7100]

I'm torn on the parents in story 2. I mean I think that eventually you have to leave the nest but, they should have given him more time to get a job. And slowly work him into independence and possibly give him a stipend to help with rent. Especially if they have been planning this long it's odd that they didn't work him into their plans

[@vanzy01]

Opie didn't say if he prepared his kid to be on his own or not. But he's not in the wrong for wanting to retire. He wrong in how he handled the situation.

[@MarkNarrations]

Appreciate you

[@badkitty4922]

Love ya, mate!😘💖🫂🐾🐾

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

I appreciate all the work you do m8🤗🤗💜💜

[@DaWhiteWolffie]

Call CPS on those addicts! Get those little kids away from them!

[@candaceowens455]

If the retirees aren’t going to be present at their new place much….why not have the 19 year old move with and house sit.

[@LordGertz]

My mother, a psychiatric nurse, use to say the subject and the field tended to attract those individuals most in need of it. At a party at our house one of her co-workers joked that the DSM (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders ) was partially created looking around hotel convention rooms.

[@dexine4723]

Having had to deal with the staff of several psychiatric wards and a few mental health specialist nurses (through work, I hasten to add!) I'd agree with your mother. Some of them are very very strange indeed - in one case, psychiatric nurse gave a colleague of mine a lift in her car, then proceeded to talk about her recent psychotic episode and how the meds weren't working... My colleague did not enjoy that journey!

[@impishrebel5969]

I had trauma whiplash because Alexis sounds JUST LIKE my super toxic SIL who did literally the same kind of crap except she was saying a teenage girl was getting abortions behind our mom's back based on an off hand comment and manipulated and ruined other people's relationships with family members and likewise any time anyone stood up to her, she would remove access to her kids to family members right up until she demanded babysitting and then the older relatives were all ready to kiss her rear end and slurp up the slop she was feeding them and punish the younger (kids, at that) people at her command because they didn't want to endure her abuse. My cousins vacated after she entered our lives and I only wish I could have gone with them.

[@Vash500]

Story 2. OMG they ARE MASSIVE AH. I have a 25 yo son. Once he was out of high school I expected him to pay his share of rent and utilities because in our area in the US the wages are low and rent for an apartment in a nice area is very high. I would never expect my son to live in a ghetto area with 4 roommates just so I could retire early. My son is responsible and works hard and 3 years ago when I was laid off from work and was out of work for a year he supported me and he was happy to do so. And I have supported him when he was out of work as well. Kids aren’t disposable when they hit 18-19. One day they will choose your nursing home. OP is so off base it is sad.

[@Hybrid301]

It sounds like she got a psychology degree just so she could learn how to get better at causing drama.

[@lulusinner]

Story 1: regardless of the rest of it (cos completely wouldnt have anything to do with anyone who invalided her trauma like that) I worry about anyone who is still (clearly) struggling with addiction getting married. I'm recovering from alcohol addiction and had to separate from multiple partners because of lack of support. They only make each other worse imo Story 2: you can pay all the rent for your son if your that set on moving house. I'm 26 I live at home cos rent is so high in my area I was working but would have had to spend 85% of my salary on a studio flat

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you, take a deep breath let it out slowly, and lower your shoulders. Know that you are important to someone even if you feel like no one loves you, guess what I do. I'm so proud of you being here. Thank you. Now make sure you take care of yourself and drink some water, eat something and take a stretch break.💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@telinhajp]

❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@telinhajp 🤗🤗💜💜

[@truthsayersimmer7430]

Story 1: OP’s boyfriend does nothing to defend her and that’s breakup material alone.

[@alicewilloughby4318]

4:32 - I feel sorry for those kids. A nasty, game-playing, manipulator for a mother and a father with a temper that frightens his adult relatives. They are going to have miserable childhoods and, unless they get a LOT of therapy, they will be really screwed up adults!

[@GLoLChibs]

It's always the worst people that go into psychology.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

I wouldn't spend all my vacation days and money on people I don't want to be with. If they just had a wedding closer by house it would've been a different story, but spending 10 days on the other side of the world for people I don't even like is a no go for me.

[@LeeLeesBanter]

Story 2 The parents are so selfish. They shouldn't be surprised if their kids end up strangers to them.

[@jessymonster]

Story 2: what absolute shit parents. 45 is YOUNG & they should not be retiring. 19 is too young to move out & I hope these parents figure out that even trying to do this to their child is horrid.

[@ruthsaunders9507]

#1 I can't imagine spending the money for a 10 day trip, in another country, to celebrate someone I don't like. That's insane.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

I worked a 12 hour overnight last night and the one before. Winding down with Mark before I attempt to sleep. So hard sleeping during the day. Hope everyone is well. Blessed be

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Yeah... "Good luck in your train wreck marriage and eventual divorce, unless one dies of OD" - I know it's dark, it's a sad reality though. Those kids need to be taken away from them!

[@heatherdickau5335]

Last story - one thing OP left out was any prior discussion of them retiring at this age? Did the kids know you would retire at this time? The way it reads, it sounds like this was just dumped on the last child with no warning. So yes they are the Aholes. They should have come up with a plan years ago.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Oh I agree 100% with this assessment because if they had had this discussion, their son could have had jobs early on saving for this situation. Not saying he didn’t have jobs, but he is a kid and they tend to spend their money as soon as it comes in. The way they are going about this is going to cause their child to drop out of school because he won’t be able to survive going to school and working full time to pay his bills…that he has no idea how to do. Most parents should expect one or more of their children to ask to come back at some point because they haven’t been taught how to manage money and how to live within their means. I can imagine this poor boy is having a mental breakdown worrying about what is happening to him since he had no advance warning this was going to fall on him. 😢 No way, I could kick my kids out of my house for my selfish reasons. I and my SO have had kids live with us over the years and we didn’t charge them rent with the stipulations that they get a job and save their money so they could buy/rent a place of their own. My son saved and bought a little fixer upper house for $20k and paid cash for it. So proud of him for that!!

[@luizalouyoga]

Story 2: I see these parents being, rightfully, left in a nursing house in their old age.

[@Yahweh-dn9cv]

Ikr

[@killerninjaz13]

Its unfair that they give the others time to build up savings and money and get through uni And then immediately think a 19yrs old could just easily put himself through uni and buy a place and work a full time job As if things are like they were when the parents were in his position

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

1st Story: OP goes to the wedding with her BF and he does his groomsman thingy. Document any point where either bride or groom gets unhinged or abusive or neglects their children. Make the wedding gift a year membership to two different gyms one for him and one for her add with all the gym clothes, towels, bags, gear etc... If they don't use it, at least the pettiness will shine through. At the wedding and reception, smooze everyone and make everyone love you. This way the psycho SIL will look bad since I BET shes been talking trash about OP and her BF.

[@madisonl3401]

We are totally hitting 200k subs this year! So proud of Mark and the Waffle Gang! ❤❤🎉🎉

[@nathaliebazinga]

Regarding story 2: Actually in my country it's their legal obligation to fund the kid's lifestyle until the age of 26 if the kid is enrolled in college. :)

[@Araraki-Itto1]

Story 1: OP got so much support and validation about her choice not to go.....and ended up going anyways. Wow. Just wow. Absolutely no self respect.

[@DemonAngel]

How can you see that as no self respect? If nothing else it's to spite her, be support for the BF and MIL.

[@RJLiams]

Second Story is just speed running a retirement home.

[@emmabateman3798]

Happy Sunday everyone! Just getting over food poisoning and I'm bored in bed, so I appreciate the update 🥰

[@MarkNarrations]

Oh sorry to hear that Emma, wishing you a swift recovery mate!

[@emmabateman3798]

Thank you very much! I'm already feeling a bit better

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Get well soon 🤗🤗💜💜

[@maxinemyers9215]

Take care it’s the worse thing!💐

[@tictactoe325]

How the heck has Child Safety not been called into this drunk abusive family yet????

[@Beach12323]

10 days is way too much to be around family for wedding events. Especially with people that don’t like you drinking way too much. I can’t wait to hear the fights that happen on day one. I love my in-laws but anytime we do big vacations we get our own air bnb and have a day or two to do our own thing

[@macylouwho1187]

Last story, I had a rough start-out at 17 without any familial support while still needing to finish one year of high school. It was extremely hard, and I might not have made it very well that last year without the help of good friends that took me in. College is no different. School is school, and that one in my country is hella expensive. I had to drop out of college despite being on the faculty list in high a school because I was young, poor, unsupported by family and soon married with a baby to someone basically in the same boat as me. Making it was really tough. Nothing ever had to be that tough if anyone had cared about us. The OP in the story is setting his son up to fail. Bad sh-t will happen to him because of this. He might not finish school! It could ruin his life and the lives of future children potentially. I know what the struggle is like. I sure as hell wouldn’t put my kids through it. My son has made some really dumb decisions in my opinion but I love him and he’s still mine. When he got to the age where he was rebelling hard (oy vey, the teen years yikes) and didn’t want to listen to our rules anymore, I still made sure he had a safe space on my property to be rent free (a really nice camper with full amenities that he chose to stay in so that he had his own space and we argued less over him not cleaning up after himself in my house). That camper is way nicer than some people’s homes where we live. Power/heat/air conditioning as well. And when he decided to go into a trade instead of into college, to help him I handed over the keys to one of my rental properties that I renovated so he could live rent free on his own as long as he could pay his utilities. My daughter has continued to live at home while attending a local uni. She pays nothing. She gets free home cooked food. I can’t imagine just throwing a kid out with that little support like OP is doing. Wow dude. Way to look out for number one.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

I really hope he and his wife have millions to retire on cause travel ain’t cheap! They will eventually run out of money retiring in their 40’s. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@ss-ds2dn]

story 2: they're short-changing their youngest kid for not even regular retirement but early retirement? The kid's entire mentality/planning was probably formed around being able to stay. Love to see the solidarity between siblings though

[@ameliapaige8081]

The Family should be documenting EVERY time "Alexis" and the older brother are caught drunk or high or whatever, around the children and report them to CPS. Get those poor kids away from these toxic parents until they can get their heads on straight!

[@kyoxtohru112]

Completely agree as those kids are the only reason they haven't gone no contact with the parents. If the grandma or another family member could gain full custody those parents would be dropped and only ones contacting them may be the kids in the future. If OP makes another update in the future I believe it will be about the kids.

[@IrisAsuras]

Story 2 - Why would the parents not treat the 19 YO the same as his siblings?

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Because they knew they couldn’t just up and kick out all their kids when the older ones were 18-19. They had to wait until the youngest got old enough to legally kick his butt out like yesterday’s trash. I could never kick out my children. He could ask his son to get a job and then charge him rent and some of the utilities, just to let the boy get a feel of what adulthood is going to look like. Heck, he could even take that money and put it in an account and when he was finished with college, gift it back to him so he had a little nest egg to start his adult life with…but he seems selfish and stingy that I can see that would never cross his mind!

[@breannashell3799]

The last story of the 19 year old. . Absolutely those parents are the a hole. I was kicked out at the age of 16 with no knowledge of how to shop for myself, no knowledge of how to save money... I ended up back into my mom's house and kicked out two different times even though I was trying in life. Making pizzas, sandwiches, even went to a call center and got my ass reamed because someone didn't know what was wrong with their computer... Yes those parents are the asshole. Especially with today's society hiking up faster than work can pay us.

[@whiskeyontherocks]

It's not always as simple as not having people in your life, especially if they are relatives. There are persons I'm not to keen on having in my life, but they are my husband's relatives and although we have known eachother for a long time we simply don't get along. We're just to different. Yes we're civil and I do my best for my husband but they just rub me and I them the wrong way.

[@itsjustmaddisen]

That sounds unnecessary, exhausting and toxic lol.

[@Stopthisrightnow560]

You husband needs to make a decision on who his family actually his. The one he was born into or the one he chose.

[@CensorshipVictim]

Never ever suck it up for narcissist. OP and her boyfriend should NOT go to Italy and cut contact with this monster.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#1 - Imagine having to go to all that friggin' expense to go all the way to Italy - possibly for the first time for many of those going - only to be exposed to the shit show that is Tom and Alexis' wedding; drunks, fighting, manipulation and narcissism. What a joy. Guessing everyone else in the family is going to be sorry they went at all - if the wedding even takes place. Wonder what Alexis' parents and family are like - do they condone her actions, maybe act just like her? Or are they embarrassed by her and happy to get her married off?

[@sakurased101]

Story 1 You will not see my children, OK then no more money spending on presents for your spawns. And my son is disownd he will not get any inheritance.

[@DarkwaveMistress]

I will never understand American parents who have children and believe they don't have to plan their lives to include those people they brought into existence. Especially in these horrible times.

[@tracicolvis7382]

I suspect the reason Alexis is convinced op lied is because that is what SHE would have done to manipulate her bf so of course it's what op did.

[@Russman67]

Story 2: OP is punting their son into the world in order to retire quick. The other kids also see how bad they are treating their brother. They have better family values than the parents. YTA. Hope their planning is solid. These kids aren't going to be forgiving if their parents need help in retirement.

[@Ashbrash1998]

I'm still stuck on the part where they told him he should be "greatful for having a good childhood". They literally want him to grovel for being goof parents, like the bare minimum of parenting

[@SusanPederson]

This wedding is a complete waste of time!

[@j_hi]

Story 1: Alexis is toxic and I hate when toxic people get degrees in psychology. It pretty much gives them a free pass to be aholes because 'I'm an expert and you're a liar' Story 2: would it really kill the the parents to hold off on retirement for a few years? The sound like entitled aholes because 'you had a good childhood, with plenty of luxury' like they've done their job. As the youngest in my family, I feel sympathy for the son bc I didn't have a huge support system once my older sisters moved out. My mom pretty much gave up on parenting by the time i was a teen and my dad had developed a lot of health problems (not his fault i love him to pieces, rip). My point is that sometimes the youngest is left forgotten about and it stinks. I hope the son does well in life inspite of his parents and finds a supportive network to help him on his journey.

[@michaeldowson6988]

There's an old saying that most people who go into psychology are there to try and figure their own heads out. Last story; You'll be on your own when you're too old to care for yourselves, as your kids have seen the real you and don't like it one bit.

[@ea748]

Story 1: I am kind of amazed that OP specifically frames this wedding as a dilemma. Both BIL and Alexis are addicts and display all the personality traits thereof. The problem is that the family seems to enable them at the same time as there are young children growing up in anlcoholic (amongst other drugs) household. Not only should they not go to the wedding and cut ties - they should make a big report to child protective services. Furhermore they should send a letter to the family informing them of the stakes for these children, that enabling the parents will only make it worse, and supply them with information on addiction, enabling and codependency within the family. A lot of them will not like it, but some may see the light and plant a seed for action in the future.