I Made An Uncomfortably Morbid Joke About My Deceased Family r/Relationships

[@darkangel_1978]

My parents passed in 2015, and my maternal grandmother was depressed. I joked with her, "Well there's a plus side to this ?" My grandma asked what that was, and I said, "It's two less people to Christmas shop for." My grandma busted out laughing and said, "I was going to say that, but didn't want to upset you." I said, "Grandma, this is me you're talking to. We joke like this in our family, you know that." She replied, "That's very true." It was a great ice breaker for us and lightened the mood.

[@eclipse849]

This is actually really cute

[@pamelalaub6204]

My husband and I sometimes have a dark sense of humor. People who hear us are sometimes shocked. I love that OP and her grandmother were on the same wavelength.

[@darkangel_1978]

@@pamelalaub6204 Thank you. Yeah my entire family is like that. It's just how we've always been. I knew it would make grandma feel better, and lighten her mood. Before we got off the phone, she thanked me for making her laugh.

[@kirtemoon529]

When my Grammy passed away earlier this year, my dad had lost both his parents. During her funeral- a large, somber affair with all the bells and whistles my Grammy had always wanted in a catholic funeral- my Dad’s oldest brother leaned over and whispered in his ear “we’re orphans now”. I thought the two of them were going to die right there from trying not to laugh.

[@darkangel_1978]

@@kirtemoon529 sorry for your loss

[@GoCoyote]

The joke about "digging up the family for Thanksgiving" was a perfect comeback that I have only been able to do once. Well done, and the response that was needed in the situation when a person is being insensitive and crass about ones family members deaths.

[@kurotsuki7427]

The only ones allowed to be crass about someones death is the surviving loved ones. My own humor is supper morbid and i laugh at others morbid jokes like the one OP made. But I wouldn't be making that joke about OP's family.

[@dre1978]

My mother wasn't supposed to have kids. A lot of medical problems and she's REALLY small, she was told from a young age pregnancy and/or birth could kill her. When she had my older sibling both of them almost died, she requested a full hysterectomy because at this point she had several miscarriages that almost killed her as well and she didn't want to possibly leave her kid without a mom. They denied her because she was under 25 and had less than 3 kids. Finally gave her one after she had me but to this day I will NEVER understand how so many doctors can see a woman almost die MULTIPLE TIMES and deny her the only 100% affective treatment

[@duanesamuelson2256]

Went through this with my deceased wife (she did have one btw). But had a couple really honest Dr's. The reason they really hate to is malpractice lawsuits. The waivers don't actually matter if someone changes their mind in a year. Blame the lawsuit seekers.

[@brianaschmidt910]

All I have to say is roe v. Wade's overturning didn't just come out of nowhere

[@katwiltz1134]

Right like they're the highest standard of morality anyway making money 2 cuts girl's breast off at the age of 9 because they are sure that they want to but yet they think that you're going to change your mind and risk your life because you couldn't possibly know what you were talking about at the age of 24.

[@dre1978]

@@katwiltz1134 um no surgeon will do any type of gender reassignment surgery before age 18 and Ik that for a fact as I myself and multiple other friends are trans. The most they will do is provide hormone blockers/therapy but even then you have to be at least 13 to be considered and go through a lot hoops just to be considered plus find a doctor even willing to do all that before 18. I get what you're saying but you can leave the transphobia out of the "let adults make decisions about their bodies" argument

[@Arhimith]

Eh... Your mom's partners could have switched to oral and pegging, not to mention vasectomy. So no, not the only way. I do agree that such requests must be on demand.

[@rebeccahayward9607]

My Uncle passed away just before the first lockdown in my country (not of Covid). Instead of an urn, we put his ashes in an old loudspeaker that he'd had in his room for decades. On the day of his funeral, my husband made a joke about his being a 'speaker at his own funeral'. Both my mum and I laughed so hard we cried. He later admitted to me he'd been worried the joke had been too much. I assured him it was the best thing he could have said, and my Uncle would have found it hilarious.

[@beegee1960]

Hilarious

[@endercake4127]

Lm

[@beastshawnee]

My friend’s aunt had said “I was born in this house and will die in this house so when I am gone-ya’ll put my ashes in some paint and paint me on the walls. And so -several weeks after crematiin the house got a new paint job. And they all came, ordered Pizzas and coke and had a party telling funny stories about the grand dame.

[@socialmoon]

Excellent! X'D

[@pamelalaub6204]

Only one time did my husband call me at the last minute to say he invited a coworker for dinner. No problem, there was enough leftover pot roast and vegetables for a extra person. He started to whisper "Leftovers?". When he saw my glare he stopped talking. The man seemed to enjoy the homemade meal. We had ice cream for dessert. My husband presumed since I was a caterer I could work a miracle with 30 minutes notice and no car if I wanted to get groceries. He never did that again.

[@eclipse849]

She did that shit on purpose! OP needs to check THEIR attitude the hell does that mean?! Maybe don’t make jokes about having a big family to your friend who you know is nonstop dead and it’s OP’s family so they can make jokes about it!

[@AlexxeMJFAN]

EXACTLY ! She's so selfish and awful! She did that to piss OP off, and when OP tried to replied about HER joke, she's the one uncomfortable? If she keep attack like she do with OP, just because she still have family and OP's are gone, OP have to cut contact with her.. seriously.. that's super toxic and disgusting..

[@subliminal-damage]

It's such a fucking weird thing to brag about constantly, and to do it during a funeral too? Or a major holiday when people tend to be very depressed because it reminds them about who isnt there? That is NOT a friend. She is straight up cruel and wants OP to suffer for some reason. Nasty person. Cut her out immediately.

[@kathleenmcfarlane2555]

OP who didn't back up her son when her boyfriend refused a simple request to be allowed to secure his things is the A-hole. She needs to move out with her son and protect her son.

[@ladyv5655]

Widower: traumatized by wife's death, gets rid of every trace of her and changes his life. Also widower: marries late wife's sister and is upset that she doesn't want to remove every trace of her deceased sister. Am I missing something?🤔

[@lulul0l039]

Widower: Hello coping strategy, as you are replacement of your sister, you bring me comfort, however you keep reminding me about *my* pain. Keep me entertained and distracted and stop honoring dead loved one, so weird you keep pictures of my Ex around.

[@larrymbouche]

There's some weird dynamic going on here. Erasing someone's existence is what you do when you despise someone. Someone is being TAH here, I just can't figure out why.

[@cassieloser2907]

If he really wanted to get rid of every trace of his late wife, he wouldn't have married her sister. This is so weird.

[@RedFreaderd]

Seriously, I can't believe reddit really convinced this woman that the husbands need to cope by erasing his late wife's existence and is more valid than her perfectly reasonable need to remember something positive about her sister and out a damn picture up. TBH they really should part ways 🙄

[@missflowerpower8724]

The hair towel story…. I LOVE it how GF is completely chill until she texts BF after she drives away! What! A! Jerk! 😂🤣😂🤣

[@hekatsees9449]

1st Story: OP’s friend was just jealous cause she had no good comeback to OP’s hysterically morbid joke….

[@lifewithlee6298]

If op has a dead family ash in an urn ⚱️ I’d take selfies with the urn and say just chilling with family 😅

[@hekatsees9449]

@@lifewithlee6298 Just saw this. Oh wow, you are good. Lol… I could almost envision a person with their arms casually wrapped around an exaggerated over-sized earn sporting a very large sincere smile on this person’s face with just a hint or whiff of a sneer… Good times…😏

[@gillianbergh7002]

What sort of friend gloats about how many relatives they have compared with you, because most of your family have passed away? It's worse than gloating about their comparative wealth, imo as it is not something that can be changed.

[@dionysus_adores]

Yeah that "friend" took every opportunity to remind op why they had such a small family. Even at his mom's funeral god what a evil person. Poor op I hope they get better friends.

[@samanthacarpenter3336]

I feel absolutely no sympathy for the man who was planning on using a woman as a baby factory, and cover story for his a-hole family. What an absolute garbage human to purposely trick someone into creating kids for them, while planning his real love life outside of using an innocent woman as a front. Then blaming HER to cover his cowardice. She owes this man nothing, in fact he wasted I’m assuming years of her time, energy, and love. Things she will never get back, I would have been far more vindictive. NTA times a million, being gay does not excuse unforgivable behavior.

[@xplayfan21]

This and 1st that was like this isn't tricky cause you never out someone But when the when the mom said You should be more attractive I was Like go scorched earth And she did good for her

[@cheekyftoro8962]

Agree the using her was horrendous but to not even take the blame to your family . It probably would have taken me from scorched earth to homicide. He deserves everything he gets the least he could have done was told his parents is I cheated I want a divorce I am not ready to settle down yet.

[@cheekyftoro8962]

@@xplayfan21 I don't even blam the mum that's on the husdand the least he could have done was tell his parents he was the one that wanted the divorce to keep them off her back.

[@zanekal1]

The Mormon church encourages homsexuals to just find an opposite sex person to marry and to never tell the spouse you are homosexual.

[@scarysara9364]

For the first story the so called "friend." might as well start singing to O.P. "♪My family members are all ALIVE; and yours are mostly DEAD, SUCKS to be YOU!♪"

[@beegee1960]

# 1 rule of the universe DON’T LOSE YOUR TOWEL! Leave the girl’s towel alone. You are ridiculous to worry about your family thinking she is weird because of a towel. You are lucky she held her anger before your family. YTAH.

[@TheDecoCottage]

To be honest, his family probably wouldn’t even notice her special towel.

[@justincase3230]

I started out thinking "eh, my family imploded, it sucks, that's not my friends problem though" But If my "friend" said that at my mother's funeral they'd leave with a black eye.

[@Kati_P]

I don't think I've ever heard of anyone going and apologizing to their exes for what they put the ex through unless it was part of a 12-step program. Most people, no matter how mature, don't look up anyone and say "Hey, remember when we were 17 and you moved to Scotland with your dad? Well, I'm sorry for all of the ahole stuff I did when we were dating." outside of an after-school special. 🙄

[@bbjjbb61]

I was looking for someone else who thought that comment was stupid.

[@cheekyftoro8962]

While yes this behaviour is weird. And I agree the idea of going back and apologising is unrealistic. I really think the check in of did I get you pregnant should be more normalised particularly in this modern world of Hook ups and blocking. So much of procreation is already on the woman pregnancy birth abortion ect where you stick your cum should probably fall on men .

[@Kati_P]

@@cheekyftoro8962 That's a totally valid point, and I agree with you. 👍🏻

[@cheekyftoro8962]

@@Kati_P thank you. I get a lot of crap over this opinion. I think it's only logical only fair. I also think we are going to see a marked increase of young adults saying yeah I found my dad with a DNA kit he never knew I existed mum couldn't get a hold of him or he deleted his dating app ect

[@Kati_P]

@@cheekyftoro8962 I agree. There are exceptions of course, like abusive exes, cases of $exu@l a$$ault, etc, but yours is just a prudent way to do things if you're sexually active. I also believe that paternity/maternity tests should be done on ALL new babies upon leaving the hospital. So many problems would be avoided with that one simple step, but people with secrets to hide will never get on board with that idea either. "If we start trying to expose this group of people's secrets when will they start trying to expose mine? Can't have people looking at me too closely, but for entirely different reasons (or maybe it is because you've been passing off, or are planning to pass off, one guy's baby for another's, depending on the case), so I'm going to veto that idea right now." The majority of humanity is a bunch of selfish aholes, and if they perceive a threat to their preferred way of life, even tangentially, they'll do or say whatever it takes to remove that threat. It's just plain sad that this even needs to be a thing, but at this point in our history I believe that it's become necessary for us to progress in a positive direction as a society.

[@sammyk.6457]

All 3 of my dogs died in a 5 month period and I make jokes to cope with the loss and trauma, my favorite was from the day I got my first dogs urn back and I said to my mom “she went from 90 lbs down to 5 lbs, guess you could say she really burned some calories.”

[@mohsinAli-hq1nd]

noo why did i laugh😭 may your babies be blessed in heaven❤

[@SherriLyle80s]

😂 that first story is the type of things we say in our family. She'd fit right in!

[@ComaLies225]

“Special hair towel” is most likely a microfiber towel which are more suitable for hair since regular hair towels can take out too much moisture and make hair frizz up. I’m a curly person who has a “special towel.” OP is a definite asshole

[@katrinascarlet5637]

I low key want one, my hair is down to my butt but frizzes up very badly. I don't wanna straighten it everyday but the frizz is driving me crazy

[@ComaLies225]

@@katrinascarlet5637 an old tshirt works just as well. See if that works. I’m not sure what your hair type is but adding some moisture or oils could also manage frizz

[@WobblesandBean]

OP 2: Why are you with such an awful man? Lady, his stepmom and brother hate him because he's an objectively horrible person. You're already a single mom as he doesn't lift a finger to help you, so you may as well get rid of the adult manbaby dragging you down.

[@Scarlett.Granger]

I also reaaally in hearing the story wanted to know what he brings to the table that makes her want to stay with him.

[@sianhancock5872]

Stpry 1 I had to laugh when it wasvsaid about not being able to dig the family up for thanksgiving. My way of thinking is if you didn't joke and see the funny side of death you most likely would cry. I have had a lot of close relatives die and find having a joke anout them helps more than crying.

[@katrinascarlet5637]

Elementary school had a policy that ONLY PARENTS could come eat with kids for lunch. My mom came with food for me and step sis, school said step sis wasn't allowed to join us because she didn't belong to my mom. Mom called her husband who in a not so joking manner said "What do you want me to do? Grab a shovel and dig her out of the grave?" An exception was made for us.

[@angelajaime5155]

I'm gonna be completely honest, we all know that outing people is bad, however, as a non-binary, bisexual person, if someone did to me, what OP's husband did to her, I would have done the exact same thing, maybe I'm a bad person, but I don't care, that level of betrayal would repulse me to my very core, I would have to go straight to a therapist, because that shit would have left me with deep trust issues.

[@pansprayers]

Yup. There's literally zero reason to pull the crap the husband did, just to save his own ass. My biological mother (preNC) tried to out me as bi to my husband the first time she met him (I knew she would try something, hence why I waited two years). His response was to say, 'Yeah, I had lunch with her girlfriend yesterday, she's great. You on the other hand, you're a dangerous asshole. Don't ever talk to or about my (then) girlfriend like that again.' Can't figure out why she's always hated him /s

[@bubblegum_flavor551]

As a lesbian, the guy bought that one to himself. Lying to her for years, cheating, and had the audacity to throw her under the bus with his family. Him being gay doesn’t even matter, it’s his personality that makes him shitty

[@typosinthebrain5363]

I mean yeah.. that sucks, and what he did is unforgivable, but I still wouldn't out someone to a fundamentalist family. That can be very dangerous. Even if he's family is not violent you can't know that.

[@angelajaime5155]

@@typosinthebrain5363 I'm aware that it can be dangerous, that's why I said that I might not be a good person, bc I'm well aware of the danger, but I don't care, what he did to OP (and us, in this metaphor) was sickening. Maybe I want his life to get ruined.

[@typosinthebrain5363]

@@angelajaime5155 I also hate him.. My perspective is mainly that two wrongs don't make a right I guess.

[@magrad2010]

I LOVED the Douglas Adams' quote regarding the towels. I mean, you never know when you have to hitch a ride on a passing spaceship, when some aliens blow up your home planet. Gotta be ready at all times! Love that book.

[@mothertrucker936]

My house and I’ll invite who I want: YTA- I took care of that nasty problem of a man who would call 15 minutes before arriving saying « WE’RE on the way » up to 4x a week. I warned him that there will NOT be another time and he will be stuck cooking, cleaning and serving if he ever dared again. He did it again! Fool thought it was a bluff. I picked up my child’s and my plates, brought them in the living room and clearly stated « special night eating in front of the tv, they have business to discuss and we’ll be giving them some privacy » This made it obvious to the guests that HE hadn’t planned anything, embarrassing him to no end but never repeated. Unless you are specifically paying someone to be your chef, server and dishwasher you better tread carefully. Also this fool says he’s trying to save money by not eating in restaurants but brings guests almost every day??!!! Total idiot.

[@D-me-dream-smp]

No doubt because going out t a restaurant would come out of his “fun”money while all the extra food she cooks comes out of the no doubt meagre household budget he gives her.

[@IzzyPR2010]

So wife needs to cook more because OP wants to kiss some ass by inviting people over every couple of days. Why should wife work extra because OP needs to buy friends.

[@mothertrucker936]

@@IzzyPR2010 it’s just crazy how some think that preparing to entertain is no work, not to mention the cost of extra food and liquor. Total lack of respect and thoughtfulness

[@pamelalaub6204]

The boyfriend who refused to let the older boy put a lock on his door to protect his belongings is an AH, but so is his mom. The alternative would be to buy a small locker and put all his things in it and keeping everything in it and controlling the key. He could wear it on a chain around his neck at all times. The mother's boyfriend should have been more about aware his children were obnoxious brats. Offering to replace the controller was the least he could do. It wouldn't keep them from taking his things in the future.

[@Serene80]

The mother pissed me off. She needs to stand up for her son. Instead, she doesn't wanna rock the boat. If you don't advocate for your children, who will???

[@D-me-dream-smp]

People need to appreciate that children deserve to have their own property respected and have reasonable ownership over it, especially as they get older and definitely if they PAID for it. As someone who was always very careful with my property it would upset me when people were extremely careless even if it wasn’t malicious- you should at least be allowed to have a select set of important items that you can be protective of and have control over while being more relaxed with less “valuable” items. The fact the siblings broke an expensive piece of equipment should show OP’s son deserves a way to protect them.

[@ShanaLawson]

My kids are 9 and 11 and we’ve contemplated getting the older one a lock that we have keys too just to keep her little sister out of her room. They know that their rooms are their own space but the younger one is in the stage that she’s here to just piss her sister off lol. I couldn’t imagine not getting that child a lock to protect this things.

[@subliminal-damage]

The boyfriend who thought his girlfriend was weird for having a towel for her hair has bad vibes. He would probably dry his ahole and then use the same towel to dry his face. Assuming he believes in washing his ass at all. As an ✨ empath ✨ that's the vibe I'm getting.

[@Serene80]

Well, his head's already firmly up said ass. Might as well use the same towel at that point...

[@SunBeeSmoked]

Right? And he seems to be completely unaware that there are towels made specifically for hair. It’s normal to have a different thing for your hair.

[@jr5557]

I just don’t understand why he is so obsessed with a towel. It’s such a non issue to take stand against

[@brianaschmidt910]

Um.... How do you feel emotions through the screen? Like I'm aware an empathy is sensitive to others emotions, but like how can you feel the emotional state of someone who isn't even around?

[@britvica]

I have MUCH hair. No way I could ever dry my body after drying my hair with towel...it's just too wet.

[@confettiveda2460]

38:30 Apples and oranges. How is him not calling to check up on a high school ex equivalent to not telling someone they have a child, even after a few years? I'm not going to blame her because I honestly don't know her story, but I think OP has a right to be mad that he couldn't do right by his daughter when he was able. And what some of the commenters seem to miss in OP's story is that the event of her leaving made him want to turn his life around. The comments saying, "Well, you wouldn't have been able to do much for them as a teen anyways!" miss the point that OP had already decided to turn his life around. If anything, knowing he had a kid out there might have been even further steam to be better and work harder. With all the deadbeat dads we hear about on Reddit, why are we shaming a dude for being mad that he was involuntarily made one and his child suffered for it?

[@A_Real_Bloody_Vampire]

Because it's Reddit they don't really need a reason to pull crud like that

[@peachesnsht]

last story: lemme put this in capital letters: I DON'T FUDGING WANT TO GET PREGNANT. TIE MY TUBES RIGHT NOW. I was raised by my bio mom and my stepdad, my dad adopted me and I know that no Blood related love is possible. Everyone has their reasons for not wanting to be pregnant and all of them are valid, stop asking woman to consider an imaginary life over their current wishes. just make them sign a waiver and let people have the life they chose.

[@xplayfan21]

This if the person wants to have children later adoption is an answer blood does not make you family have virtual as I recently discovered

[@emilybarclay8831]

Who humblebrags about all their family members still being alive? That won’t last for long sweety

[@eph2vv89only1way]

Op whose hubby didn’t like her reply to his question about dancing for him: nta. Her hubby reminds me of my narcissistic ex. He had no problem with publicly embarrassing me and putting me on the spot in public but the minute I defended myself he got all butt hurt and would even yell at me in public for it sometimes. But most of the time he would wait until we were home then chew me out. I now know that me defending myself caused him “narcissistic injury” - where a narcissist gets their feelings hurt because you don’t cow down to their insults or demands or you hold them accountable when they do something wrong Other things also are red flags that the hubby may possibly be a narcissist. Not helping with housework even if she is working and he isn’t and expecting her to cater to him even after working all day are such red flags.

[@FoxValley123]

The way op handled the situation was just hilarious to me! I love morbid humor and the "Friend" seemed like she was trying to rub in her family in ops face. The only reason I'm sorry is incase anyone also that "Friend" needs a reality check that real friends don't try to make everything a competition.

[@kathleenmcfarlane2555]

OP who denied his wife the right to refuse guests in the home. Inviting 6 extra people to Thanksgiving is a big imposition if OP refuses to help. I'd embarrass the hell out of him by not cooking or helping with guests. I'd also be rude as hell and let them know they are unwelcomed in an unmistakable way. They would think I was the meanest itch ever. No one would want to come over again. I speak passive aggressive very well.

[@brianaschmidt910]

I would have just not served them myself. "Oh I didn't actually invite you. It's all my husband's doing. If you wanna be served, ask him"

[@beegee1960]

The problem is that the guest you ask over every few days are YOUR FRIENDS AND YOUR COWORKERS, not hers. And you should NEVER asking anyone over to a meal without telling her first. YTA and I think you know it.

[@aimies]

Bruh fr she’s a SHM mom. Not a maid. Her job is to take care of him and the kids not serving his guests. He’s super entitled.

[@msredux]

I wonder what op's husband contributes to the household, since op has to do all the chores when she gets home from work

[@lorifiedler13]

When he shows up with guests, the wife should serve mac and cheese or ramen with boiled hotdogs. Every. Single. Time. As for Thanksgiving, the wife needs to insist the guests bring a dish to share.

[@Serene80]

Tubes tied story... People (men especially) need to understand that, by the time a woman FINALLY finds a doctor that's willing to even CONTEMPLATE the decision, we HAVE contemplated our choice ad nauseam... mostly because EVERYONE ON THE PLANET seems to think they have a right to give us their opinion or tell us what we're ALLOWED to do with our bodies. If a doctor ever even thought about implying that a man needed permission for a vasectomy, they'd be disbarred before they could blink, and yet, there are still areas where women are required to get approval from their father or husband first.

[@Serene80]

@@Azulakayes And also how pads and tampons are taxed as 'luxury items' and yet condoms aren't, even though we choose to have sex. I'd love to choose not to have shark week...

[@KG-VanityInKnickers]

I completely agree with you. However I do need to check you on that vasectomy part. My youngest son knew he did not want children by the age of 22. He could not find a doctor in our area and the surrounding area to give him a vasectomy (his girlfriend couldn't find anybody to give her a tubal either) because they all said the same thing to them, that they might want children later and they were too young to know their own minds. The only reason I know this is because he told me about it and asked for my advice. I was floored when I found that out. 2 years later, at the age of 24, he and his girlfriend found out she was pregnant even though both of them were using birth control. She got an AB. A year later they broke up and he's remained celibate ever since.

[@abbie_joan]

@@Serene80 for real it's stupid that condoms are handed out for free but if I can't afford something I need to keep me from bleeding through all my clothes then I just don't get it, and having to pay for things like pregnancy tests and birth control is stupid too.. either make all these products free or make all of them something that is taxed and payed for

[@ZombieSazza]

The girl wanting to take her friend to a comedy show instead of her mums bf makes me depressed, it’s clear her mum puts her needs above her daughters and I’ve a feeling the reason the daughter gave up fighting is because she’s used to this behaviour. Just depressed me knowing her mother doesn’t care about her daughter enjoying her own birthday present

[@Brokenhearted2030]

Well hubby, both parents, all grandparents, all but one aunt who is 96 and has had bad stokes (in a home) my only sibling who doesn't know who i am two thirds of the time ( in a home) and one child. So I have a very very empty table. But I am very thankful for my son or my table would be just me. But I am still thankful for all the wonderful memories I have of all of them. Love, peace and blessings.

[@josevargas4082]

On daughters story did anyone ever think that op finding out he was a father would be a catalyst to straitening him out, these things do happen, some people should think about that before dropping YTA verdict.

[@brianaschmidt910]

The gf leaving already was the catalyst. Finding a kid would've just been icing on the proverbial cake

[@pamelalaub6204]

My mother would tell Dad we were going to see a movie. She'd give me money for a ticket and food. She was always late picking me up. She'd tell Dad I'd run into friends and didn't want to leave. On the way home I'd give her a synopsis of the movie. Where had she been? With her lover. After doing this twice I refused to do it again. I was only 14 and shouldn't have been put in that position. When I was 11 I saw my dad come out of a house down the street and kiss the woman goodbye. I was confused at that time but I never told either parent about what I knew about them. It used to hurt when they'd "joke" with friends "We'd get divorced but neither of us want to be stuck with 3 girls.". It hurt because I knew it wasn't a joke.

[@michellelopez6980]

"Chores" are tasks that need to be completed to maintain the upkeep of a household. Feeding people who aren't part of the household are, therefore, not a part of chore responsibilities.

[@notiddymothbirlfriend]

The towel one sends me every time I hear it. Any conversation about her towel with the family would have gone a lot less contentiously than he thought- Hey OPGF, why do you use a separate towel for your hair? It's microfiber and dries my hair fast and keeps it nice! Oh cool. Conversation over. Unless the other long or curly haired people in the family wanted a recommendation on where to get one for themselves. Like 90% of humans recognize that different people have different routines. Somehow OP does not fall in that 90%.

[@jachowl4467]

I am Morbid and love the joke from the first stoy. That person 100% deserves it for trying to rub in someones face that they have a bigger family.

[@kateemma22]

Gosh I wish I had been at that 'dance monkey' Thanksgiving because I would have started a slow clap.

[@MissDeniseR]

Towel, So passive aggressive, you are reaping the rewards of your actions, the reason her hair is low maintenance is because of the towel.

[@yas-per]

I love listening to your vids while playing minecraft or drawing! Your voice is so calming and the stories are always interesting. Keep up the great work, man!

[@madgevanness4011]

Too frequent guests: serve cheap eats, boxed mac’n’cheese, pancakes, cornmeal mush, canned beans and cornbread.

[@pansprayers]

Nope, too much effort. Cereal and milk.

[@Serene80]

@@pansprayers That they have to serve themselves because my ass is going out for Chinese...

[@Fiobo823]

Story one - That so called friend is a right witch, and op should drop her.

[@scarlett2x]

My thought too! If anything you should bring your friend to family gatherings when they're able to come.

[@Boe-Temeraire]

As Marie Kondo says “if it does not bring you joy, throw it away”. Her method of organising your home and life definitely applies to people too.

[@elisaostuzzi9707]

broken ribs story. nta. he was in pain. it is like during labour, your spouse job is to be there and support you. even if it is to be told off. it is the pain speaking

[@bethking9830]

K, so regarding op in the (maybe 3rd story) who's sons room keeps getting raided by her boyfriends kids. If he is her boyfriend, why does she keep referring to his kids as her sons stepbrothers?

[@pansprayers]

Some people don't make the distinction between married/not married and the children in the relationship between two long term partners. It's really the least problematic thing in the whole situation. Even if they were married, OP would have zero legal obligation to the boyfriend's kids and he to her kid unless the other party adopts them or gains guardianship. I have friends who have step-siblings and step-parents of 20+ years, but no legal marriage certificate.

[@D-me-dream-smp]

To try and make it seem like there is a bond when there isn’t

[@pansprayers]

If it's your house, you can cook and clean up after your random guests. This guy's confusing 'wife' with 'slave'. Big nope.

[@Serene80]

"Oh, Joe and the boys are coming over again? Have fun with that. Nancy invited me out to dinner. I'll be home late tonight. Don't forget to wash the dishes!"

[@katrinascarlet5637]

Husband has never expected me to wait on guests, they bring snacks or order pizza. When they start their inevitable nerf gun war I just go upstairs and play video games. Can't imagine having to be their servant all the time.

[@sleepyalien140]

Have a nice day to whoever reads this

[@heartabduction]

You too ^.^

[@demonmom0293]

On that last story, I've been fighting for almost a year to get sterilized, I was told that if I have another miscarriage I'll probably bleed out before I can get to the hospital, if I have another baby there's a better chance than not that I'll die on the delivery bed. I'm not 35 and I've only had two kids so they are refusing because MY HUSBAND might want another baby. Not even me, but my husband, who, just by the way, has had a vasectomy because he values me over some maybe baby that we feel content without, after 6 miscarriages (that almost killed me) and 7 angel babies we feel lucky to have two. But no, he *might* want more.

[@tinak2576]

Hair towel story: I have a special wrap for my hair. Made of different material than a regular towel. My husband doesn’t question this.

[@alexlibby5087]

Not sure what # story but the OP who found out he had a daughter - the comment section drives me crazy Not one person mentions whether it was acceptable for the mother to unilaterally make this decision for the daughter. Your children are actual human beings - not property - and they have a right to know and be given the opportunity to know them. It’s not fair for the mom to decide whether the man is ready to be a dad or not - in fact that’s what custody courts are all about, where you can present your evidence Have waaaay to many stories of grown adults finding out on accident that their “dad” is not their biological father or finding out because the child has made contact, after they’re an adult etc Add that fathers deserve parenting rights - she was in no position to judge him unfit (unless, ofcourse, he was abusive)

[@abbie_joan]

bruh the last time they saw each other he was being arrested she had every right to ensure her daughter's safety and even if it looked like he was doing better from her outside perspective there is no guarantee he would react well she was a teen mom and made a hasty but at the time cautious decision that was probably her best option at the time she's not an asshole she just a mom trying her best and clearly she did explain things to her kid and let her daughter have the decision to make first contact

[@floraposteschild4184]

27:00 OP's wife should start volunteering OP to do free work for whichever of her friends asks for it. After all, it's "his responsibility", and he's so giving and all. OP is on the fast track of being able to invite whomever he likes to "his" house, and doing all the cooking and cleaning himself. 28:00 Cue the back-peddling BS.

[@alana.dyer.author]

OP is NTA in story 1. As someone with dead family members, my favorite line when people ask "whats your family like?" Is Oh, I am the youngest with 2 older brothers. Ones dead though so but I finally got the sweater i wanted. He shouldn't have said I would only get it over his dead body. The looks I get 😂😂 just chef kiss perfection.

[@kellyalves756]

Story 1: One can only hope OP’s friend spent some of those hours thinking.

[@WraysCustoms]

Lmao @ the eviction story, OP's dad is a king.

[@kmon1324]

Wow, I had to hear this story twice... 44:26 (Sorry Markee didn't know which story this was since the Auto select sent here to said part.) So with that said... let's go over the story timestamped above... 1. OP's Mom and Aunt got tickets to see a concert that they got tickets for by the skin of their teeth for OP's birthday... 2. Op's Aunt had to do something on the day of the concert and couldn't go giving up her ticket... with OP thinking to invite one of her friends. 3. OP'sMom decides to give the ticket to HER boyfriend despite he doesn't like it along with how OP feels around him and comes up with various ways to make it so he could go instead of the friend even by asking if the tickets were still available already knowing they won't be and even wanted her to get friend tickets so she could sit by herself. 4. In the end Mom gets her way and OP just has to deal with it... and what was OP's birthday gift from Aunt and Mom that was supposed to be a girls' night out just became Mom's date which Aunt partly paid for with daughter being dragged along. So with that said OP you're NTA, and sorry you had to comply to appease your mother's mental gymnastics, but please let your Aunt know what happen during her absence. You should also add while kindly thanking her for her part in the birthday gift that in the future you'll no longer accept gifts from her where mom was involved in part of the payment due to how your mother played things out for her benefit because from personal experience she'll do something this again.

[@casket.case99959]

Hats off to op and her morbid joke. I relate. I used to have a big family but the last couple years every one passed away. If I had a friend like that who would go out the way to make me uncomfortable I'd do the exact same thing

[@shhhh8119]

1:25:42 she looks like her mother si no need for a dna test…. That is literally one of the most stupidest things I’ve ever heard 💀

[@nineblackgoats]

... I thought it was a common thing to have a specific towel for your hair? Like, I do, and most people I know do??? Also the joke in the first story had me wheezing.

[@socialmoon]

Morbid jokes are the best. My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer a few years ago. We were sat round the dinner table worrying about it, when I said "Don't worry, it won't be terminal - mum's not that considerate" & we all just fell about howling. She survived cancer but has developed Alzheimer's, & that's opened up a whole new world of humour. Life's too short to take it seriously.

[@wordforger]

Husband always bringing over the guests: So... Lemme get this straight, you invite all these extra people to your house, and then can't be bothered to help with ANYTHING? Just no. Get rekt.

[@TheListyRayne]

My best friend’s father died last year. Both of our families have been close since we were kids. We see each other as family. I still feel self conscious when I talk about my father, because I don’t want to seem like I’m drawing attention to her loss. My aunt, who I was very close to, died last month. I mentioned that we were worried there wouldn’t be many people there, since my mother’s side of the family is mostly gone now. My dad had to ask a nephew on his side if he would mind attending and being a pallbearer. He graciously did so. My friend and her mother showed up, saying they wanted to be there for us. We were so grateful for that. They had been through a great loss recently, but they were worried about how we would feel with a very small attendance. This is how friends respect each other.

[@lauraprochaska8521]

Markee, your posts make me realize there are A LOT more gaslighting narcissists in this world than I could have ever guessed also how are these offenders so fricken clueless as to how terrible they treat others? They have to be faking or they are just that dumb.

[@namelessphase4758]

The towel guy is the AH. With the usage of the towel aside. He knows that the towel holds high importance to his girlfriend and his only reason for him not wanting her to have it was because he didn’t want to be embarrassed. Make the towel a blanket, a ring, a video game console, or something else and I’m sure he wouldn’t have seen a problem. Moral of the story, if someone you know takes pride in something, respect that

[@machine123e456]

I love that this guy follows the updates. A+ 👌

[@helookalikaman79]

35:58 A man is vilified for not wanting to be in his kids life (other than child support aka baby mama support) but a man that is HURT he couldn't be in his kids life due to the "mother" not telling him that, he had a kid... and he is the AH for being upset?? SHE STOLE that time from him, SHE allowed her daughter to suffer being that poor... When Dad could have helped... NTA, and those that say you are, are assholes themselves... gotta protect the real villain mommy and her feelings... ignore the pain he is in, or you are an misogynistic ah

[@Urrarg]

1:52:00 NTA That nurse wasn't trying to "help you see it objectively" she was pushing her views on you and acting like she knows what's best for someone else and what they want better than they do without knowing anything about them. The idea that just because someone is a woman means they'll automatically be a good mother or will "one day want kids" is obnoxious. That nurse was being rude and over stepping and imo people who are being rude don't deserve a polite response.

[@heididietrich9800]

Wow! That man has a GREAT wife. Man. That brother is a piece of work! Nick slept there and never left? Wow. That's some nerve!

[@wordforger]

Towel boy: You basically overrode her decision for what she does for her hair care without asking her. No discussion. You just decided you know better than her. That's not ok, and that's why she left. It wasn't about the towel. It was the lack of respect. PLUS, it's not nearly so weird as you seem to believe to keep a towel for your hair. Some people prefer not to use bits of cloth that have been all over the body on their hair and that's fine. She may also use certain conditioners that she doesn't want to let soak into your regular towels. That's actually her being considerate in that case. FURTHERMORE, I suspect your lady's got curly or wavy hair, just by this, in which case you best not mess with her hair routine if you want to live. Curly hair is a lot more fussy and blow drying and such just makes it frizz. Some more natural methods for caring for this type of hair require wrapping it up a certain way. Could very well be that she keeps these towels specifically for her hair because she's found they are the exact right size to fit her head and the way she wraps her hair. EITHER WAY, YTA for not respecting her enough to have a freaking discussion and hear her input on it. Or, y'know, just let her take the darn towel that has never done anything harmful to you in the history of your relationship.

[@chompystraws6838]

First story. Listen, it's their traumatic backstory and it's up to them how they deal with it. Their friend has it fucking coming.

[@angeldark404]

Getting a tubal should be an option for those that want and fight for them. The fact that people who don't want kids are being forced to have them is ridiculous just bc "maybe they will want kids later"

[@gilleschiasson2506]

I need those kind of friends in my life 🤣🤣🤣 that it's an epic answer 🤣😂

[@muhname6052]

Hold up. So it's okay to worry about his feelings but not OPs? Dude needs either a councilor or to grow up

[@pamelalaub6204]

Would it be possible for the woman of the deceased sister to hang one of the pictures where she works? Even people who didn't know her may appreciate the beauty of her artwork.

[@josepherhardt164]

1:12 Okay. I _LIKE_ the joke. I think it was appropriate, and I wouldn't lose any sleep over having said/written it. :)

[@laurenjones9924]

First 2 stories- NTA. Agree with comments on #1. #2- husband put her on the spot in front of everyone, was she just supposed to roll over and take it? Maybe if he spent time with her instead of being demanding, he’d know that she’d choose violence to that question. The question alone in uncomfortable in front of family let alone in front of ALL the family at a holiday dinner. Cheers to OP.

[@heididietrich9800]

Thanksgiving is a BIG meal to prepare and he brought over six extra people? Yeah. Does he know how much men eat and you have to have enough for seconds. It takes PLANNING. He doesn't get it at all!

[@susanminer2088]

Sorry. He would be embarrassed if his family saw her towel, and they would think she is weird?

[@kellyalves756]

Somebody’s weird in this story, and it’s not the girl who practices good hair care.

[@D-me-dream-smp]

That is such a weird thing to worry about- he doesn’t realise how fortunate he is.

[@nahbruh2613]

“Unless you have a good reason” ITS MY WEDDING. I SAID SO. GET LOST OR YOURE ALL UNINVITED

[@TheRockinDonkey]

I love morbid jokes. Back in the mid 90s, I had a hobby of wandering around cemeteries looking at the dates on the headstones seeing how far back they went, trying to imagine what life was like at that time. I mentioned this to a friend and he said he was worried about me doing that because it felt morbid. I told him “it’s not like I’m out there with a shovel” He cracked up

[@suehirsch6545]

Re no lock for OP's son's room: YTA BIG TIME!! Your son is SIXTEEN. Privacy is just a simple sign of respect that everyone deserves, unless you're one of those parents that thinks that because you birthed and or raised the child that everything that's theirs is yours. If you wouldn't like it if someone was constantly going into your room and taking and breaking your stuff, then you know why your son doesn't like it. It's unfair that you and your boyfriend are allowing your son to be treated this way, and your son is trying to point out an unfair situation to you, before taking matters into his own hands in a way that will probably cause bigger problems for the entire household. Your boyfriend is emotionally manipulating you and your son in order to sweep his own kids' bad behavior under the rug and that smacks of gas lighting and narcissism and needs to be nipped in the bud. Those kinds of behaviors get WORSE over time, not better. A lock is cheap but CAN be broken or picked so when that happens (and it WILL) stronger measures will need to be taken in the way of disciplinary action to teach your boyfriend's kids to stay out of your son's room. You say that a couple of your boyfriend's kids are older than your son? WHY are they still living at home with you? They need to get their own place. Even if they are under 18, they could easily be sharing an apartment with a friend, and when they do that, they'll learn pretty quick that their friends won't be friends for long if they get caught going into their friends' rooms and breaking their stuff like they do to your son. If one or two kids are younger, then you still have a chance to teach them about BASIC respect. If they learn that this is acceptable behavior it's not a long jump from that to stealing a few dollars out of YOUR purse. If you're incapable of standing up for your son, the get ready for your son to cut you all off and never look back, as soon as he's able to move out.

[@bonnie4031]

If my friend made that joke I would be laughing so hard that I’d be inconsolable😭 She needs an attitude check? The friend doesn’t know how to take a joke

[@bethking9830]

OP is brilliant!! Story 1

[@williethomas6388]

NTA. Why don’t all don’t those who think that you’re wrong give them place to stay?

[@Sly_Successor34]

In my house I always had what I deemed my "sanctuary towel". Struggling with my complexion and always washing my hands, I wanted a towel I KNEW was oil/grime free. Hence the need for a "sanctuary towel". Unsullied by anyone who doesn't wash their hands like me or from shower and bathing use. I still have a designated "sanctuary towel" in with me at home and when traveling.

[@muhname6052]

First Story: NTA dude that was hilarious. I probably woke up my neighbors

[@zdkp]

He really believes it's about the towel..🙄🤦‍♀️

[@ProfDrBaum]

Woulf nevet apologize for someone taking away my daughter from me and hiding it for half my life ffs... Some people are delusional.

[@kenyattamolden449]

Op doesn't owe an apology he was never given the opportunity to be a good father

[@justine8387]

You can apologise for the situation. It doesn't mean you have to accept that it was all.your fault but you can express that the feelings of the hurt person are valid.

[@idaearl927]

I have a hair towel, nobody uses it, but me. It dries my hair faster and better. Don't touch my hair towel.

[@phillokken6896]

To the VA lady about tubes being tied... Go to the patient advocate office and report the counter lay for giving there opinion and the provide.

[@lisasteele661]

Girlfriend knew you were in pain. She should just shut up.

[@robertejohnsonii8508]

On that 1st one I would have told him it's not my fault you can't see the ghosts

[@beegee1960]

The hero in this story is OP’s wife. What an understanding and compassionate woman.

[@Reality_TV]

*Gay Story -* People don't get to dictate how you try to heal. If he didn't want you to expose him, then he shouldn't have lied! PERIOD! I hate people who think other people should keep their secrets even though they waste someone's time and life! He was willing to offload all of his negative issues off on his wife, instead of taking accountability for his life! He wanted to have a family for his family and then lie and cheat on the back end! Horrible! He let them drag the wife through the mud instead. No! Out that guy and let him deal with what he needs to deal with. He's a liar, cheater and horrible person!

[@hilarymurray8741]

Hair towel. I assume this is one of those turban towels that winds up over longer hair and fastens with a loop and button. I have one of these for my long hair. They really do dry the hair more quickly and mean that you don't have to sort your hair out straight away after a shower.

[@harveyweaver9372]

Ffs I needed an update for the story where the step siblings were stealing OPs son’s stuff! Absolutely NO closure whatsoever