I no longer aspire to have a career.

it's time to rethink this whole thing.
creators i mentioned:
Lynette Adkins: • i don't have a dream job
Sarah Hawkinson: • why you don't need a ~...
IamTionge: • I don't have a dream job
Nyla Rm: • I don't have a dream j...
Jonny Sun's 'Goodbye, Again': www.powells.com/book/goodbye-...
Industry on HBO: www.hbo.com/industry
the cottage fairy: / @thecottagefairy
Helen Anne Peterson: www.powells.com/book/cant-eve...
Yolo economy article: www.nytimes.com/2021/04/21/te...
⚡️instagram: / katherout
⚡️spotify: open.spotify.com/user/1225150...
⚡️twitter: / katherout​
⚡️ask me: kather0ut.tumblr.com/ask
TIME STAMPS//
0:00 - who the hell am i to make this video
1:18 - the pressure from childhood
2:23 - how college pushes us towards industry
3:53 - an unsure start in the working world
5:09 - work to live vs. live to work
5:51 - European labor culture vs. American labor culture
6:40 - the dangers of allying yourself to your career too strongly
8:30 - an unsettling example of toxic work glorification
11:36 - how you can pull yourself out
16:37 - media that helped me recreate my outlook
18:33 - boundaries are sexy
19:20 - thought experiment about people you admire
20:12 - the yolo economy
22:00 - the idea of a career was invented too
she/her.
BUSINESS INQUIRIES: [e-mail]

[@Katherout]

HELLO & thanks for stopping by this here comment section! I felt compelled to clarify that not having a "career" is not the same as not having a job -- I completely understand that the vast majority of people do not have the freedom or ability to survive without work under capitalism. It is precisely *because* we have to spend so much time working that I advocate for a shift in the way we conceptualize of our identities, self-worth, validation away from labor.

[@Furyswipes]

"survive without work under capitalism" -- what system are you thinking of? There is no system that doesn't require work of someone (mostly everyone) for survival. So which one d'ya like? I really REALLY hope you say communism.

[@icedthai]

Post modernist philosophy, by which so many Millennials adhere to, is incapable of independent thinking. But when you get older you start to really, REALLY not care what others think. You're having an awakening.

[@oceanwonders]

That was a great video. Very well articulated.

[@garywheeler9465]

See @Naval = 1) A fit body 2) a calm mind and 3) a house full of love. Those must be earned and cannot be bought.

[@OjoRojo40]

There is this great book on the topic from a German author called The Capital . It even has a chapter where he talks about the feeling you have, it's called alienation :p Jokes aside, great video. Thanks for the content. Cheers!

[@EmmaWisemanOfficial]

I just want to be finanically stable while still having a life.

[@user-dx5bn4yk4f]

Same!

[@peachyhello]

Yess

[@gasto64]

We are all slaves, and we will continue to do so to the end of the days, the only thing we can do is choose where to be slaves.

[@sleeping_beauty322]

And for that you have billions of thirldworlders working themselves to death for for some firstworlders to ve "freed" from moving paper 8 hours 5 days in week

[@kingkazuma2239]

Have a job that's stable and gives you time off and some Healthcare benefits while having side hobbies

[@safety_sid]

My dad always told me, "...a job is just for making a living. Your family and community will be your reason for living."

[@rosamoreno4794]

I wish someone would have told me this in my teens. Sigh..... 😞

[@JourneyEntries]

I feel this way so hard, but I feel so scared to live like this haha

[@Mia15239]

@@JourneyEntries truth. it may b worth it in the long run tho. just small small steps

[@felixscholl2468]

true words!!! 😲

[@AC-ri2ph]

it’s hard to feel that way when your job is 80% of the time you spend a week

[@1myedwards]

"A salary is the drug they give you to forget your dreams." -Kevin O'Leary

[@Lebronwski]

Give Kevin some context lol

[@ajaykiller1992]

Also Kevin O'Leary 😒: "Quiet quitting is bad for you. If you quiet quit, you are a loser"

[@johncooksey79]

@@ajaykiller1992 unless you "quiet quit" being a well paid spolesman for FTX

[@audstrangeworld]

Classism much? Lol

[@Oachkatzl23]

I lost my job because of illness. This is when I realized how dangerous it is if we base all our self-worth on our productivity. We are worthy as human beings as we are, our worth is not based on our productivity. I had to learn that the hard way.

[@brielleanyez7113]

Thank you so much for your comment. I have been utterly depressed after losing my career due to my Multiple Sclerosis taking a turn for the worse. Im devastated. I hope you are ok dear, I'm trying to find my worth without work.

[@rahbeeuh]

I lost mine as a result of disability but that's tough to prove. In retrospect, I spent most of my life working but I learned that life isn't all about "the grind" it never really got me anywhere

[@acctsys]

Productivity should be a measure that you buy in yourself. Enjoy the freedom of choice.

[@dakotamabry1645]

I can't afford to lose my job and keep alot of things to myself , I'm sure my job would get rid of me if I was ever pregnant. It's almost cruel that your no longer worth keeping around if you have any disability, my husband was denied jobs for his as well

[@kitty79532]

My father worked hard from 16 till his early 30's fell off a roof at work into tar and burned most his lower body . He's had cancer twice , and a whole bunch of other health problems because of that accident. He hasn't been able to work since and all the money he had saved up to buy a house for my mother and the kids was put towards treating his health. People put in all they have at jobs that will replace them in a blink of an eye and not even care about what happens to you.

[@TheNeonRabbit]

I spent decades doing a job I absolutely hated because it "paid well". Don't do that, just don't. Now I'm old and sick, my wife's passed away and I spend a lot of time just thinking about the beautiful creative things I was capable of, the things I could have done, my talents and aptitudes. I thought I was successful. I was wrong. I'm not saying this to be pitied. I'm saying it to serve as a warning beacon. I'm saying it to act as an existential lighthouse. This shore is littered with shipwrecks. Steer clear. Find other ways.

[@hannw7]

THIS.

[@kateaye3506]

Thank you, NeonRabbit. I needed to hear this. Desperately.

[@chizaa8]

This made me tear up a bit 🥺

[@hrobertson439]

Wow, beacon received. You've helped me make a decision I've been desperately struggling with and I can't even begin to thank you. Time to plot another course. Again, thank you

[@akiraasmr3002]

Thank you so much for this I worked a job that payed well too but I was so depressed and my creativity died so I kind of died and started abusing drugs I was really going to kill myself since I already felt dead but then I finally got fired from that place and it was a blessing because now I do what I am passionate about and am not dreading my life anymore. I told myself if I go back to working those kind of jobs I would def off myself because if my creativity dies I die. Hearing your story gives me more inspiration to keep pushing.

[@julhippo]

remember folks.... a company will replace you in a few weeks if something happens to you, your family and friends will never be able to

[@charlotteliu9786]

Very true even if u dedicate all your time and hard effort to your work, you (the worker) will be replaceable by someone else in no time. Spending time with your family and friends is quality time. But sometimes it is so hard to plan and make time for your loved ones, since your time is being dedicated to your work and studying in order to have your job/dreamjob.

[@hope-cat4894]

That's why you don't put your life at risk for your job if you don't have to. They'll just send your family a plant with a card to your funeral and keep on moving.

[@magdalenast.7936]

Wise words. Which is why I want to own my own business in the future even if it is part-time.

[@maleehakabeer1392]

Of course they do...it's a business. What do you want them to do?

[@mero2627]

Unless you don’t have family or friends

[@belen_hummus]

"It actually concerns me to do one thing for 40 years". Perfectly said.

[@Lebronwski]

How lol?

[@belen_hummus]

@@Lebronwski One of the points of the video is that many of us grow and thrive when we experience variety and have flexibility when it comes to our career. Some people enjoy doing exactly the same thing all their lives but that's not the most common and for most people it's not healthy or desirable.

[@dianewebb1855]

omg yes! I "fell" into my career after getting divorced and becoming a single mom. I needed a job to pay my bills and raise my family. Sadly it has never fulfilled me. I've stayed in field for 20 years now, but have changed jobs and moved a few times. I've been at my current job for 7 years now and I look around wondering how anyone loves being in the same spot so long. I sure don't but I need to pay my bills and have healthcare. We aren't simply here to just work and die.

[@mfrancisco_850]

@@dianewebb1855 agree with you totally the system that has been set up is broken. I think younger people are just becoming more aware about it at a younger age now and its happening faster now.

[@jd8184]

@@Lebronwski variety is the spice of life

[@JonathanTash]

I admire people who: 1. Do things because they want to, and for no other reason 2. Love to see other people doing well

[@annab.5052]

Not everyone has “good” choices/options when it comes to work. Nor can anyone expect to live a carefree, child-like life of “I’ll just do what I want” for the rest of our lives. At some point, we are pushed out of the nest and must fend for ourselves. I admire people who do what they need to do to can take care of their family (or themselves) without becoming a burden on others, still keep their optimism and creative spark alive, and don’t complain about living the consequences of the decisions they have made. I could have done better in this regard myself, but that was my bad, not my employer’s. The fact is, it is just easier to follow the crowd than to follow your heart - especially when you are young because you simply do not know better. It is the challenges in life that allow you the opportunity to “know better”. Learn, adjust, and try again.

[@JonathanTash]

​@@annab.5052 I make my own options. I know life is hard, and it pushes us around, but people are capable of far more than they think. I wasted years of my life seeking approval from authority, only to be cursed and beaten down. This is why I do what I want, and I don't care what other people have to say- unless of course, they are indicating that I am harming them in some way.

[@RealnameKevin]

I actually admire people more who do things they don’t want to but may need to . Life isn’t always about selfish wants. Balance requires you to not always put yourself first.

[@JonathanTash]

@@RealnameKevin Anyone who thinks they do things for other people fist are lying to themselves. Just admit and accept that you care about yourself first, then you will have a lot more time and energy to give to others.

[@nikolavanzettiteslasacco4991]

Yes! I agree 1000%.

[@siennamagdaleno146]

I want my life’s work to look like this - growing a garden - writing stories - painting - learning ceramics - learning how to cook & bake better - volunteering to help different causes - spending most of my time with family and friends

[@pearlsphindlemchunu2643]

Exactly bestie !♥️

[@Rich.Newell]

Are you in the U.S? Will you have healthcare insurance? How will you pay rent? Can you hand on heart say that your dream lifestyle will not involve taking a single cent or asset from someone that worked hard to get it?

[@shellyg824]

@Rich New those are the things that keep me up at night. I don't need a dream job, but I need money to pay for rent, food, all the different types of insurances, plus other things... I want to garden and fill my life with things I love. But those things costs money, and living and breathing costs money. I feel stuck

[@nso5625]

this is my ideal life, too.

[@savleelxine]

@@Rich.Newell she said WANT. If society didn’t uphold government and currency and there was no reason to labor yourself to death, this is what she would WANT.

[@dande3139]

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" "An honest, brave, compassionate human being." "No... I mean, how do you want to sell your labor?"

[@freubies5563]

💯🤮

[@coyoter9691]

It really is disturbing how they primed our brains from such a young age to associate "what we want to BE" with a job/career. Super, super young children, almost as soon as they learn to talk and engage with the world, are being primed to associate their future identity with a job choice. It's scary how commonly that question was asked to me as a child, to all of us. Your identity is not the same thing as earning money - those are entirely different things. One is who you are, the other is just something you do to make money, completely unrelated. Sometimes they overlap for people, but it shouldn't be the default or the expectation. I remember being very stressed when I was high school aged, and when I was trying out community college. There was so much pressure to choose a path that would fulfill me, what was I interested in. At 18 years old they expected me to know. Thankfully I left college before accepting any loans, because I realized I had no idea what I was getting into. I've separated earning money from my passions, and now everything is a lot more clear for me and I'm planning out my life in a way that makes sense to me.

[@ssnowypug]

:(

[@lottalehtonen4650]

@@coyoter9691 It is crazy that everybody should know what they want to do as their job at the age of 18 and build the identity of themselves around that... People change as they age and what one wants at 18 might not be what they want when they are 38 😅 If we and our identities are aqual to our work wouldn't we be considered dead when we retire? 😂 Sadly though sometimes it seems to be so...

[@Furyswipes]

There are alternatives to selling your labor--they involve exceptional talent. Got any? Or do you just want other people who ARE selling their labor to pay your way?

[@helectra]

when i was little people asked me "what i wanted to be when i grew up". i literally thought it was absurd that anyone would think i could actually dream of working

[@NostalgiaMan]

A career is not who a person is and I think people are just getting sick of working so hard for little to no gain sometimes. It gets frustrating and all I want to do is enjoy my life for a change.

[@agentofchaos2901]

What ARE your videos

[@anateresalopes7746]

I will just leave this here: "a man has two lifes. The second one begins when he realizes he has just one."

[@tifking73]

🥇

[@fiveplustwo10]

gonna get a tat of this!!

[@Myrslokstok]

Good one!

[@lovely7464]

This is good

[@spacedoohicky]

Is that an actual quote from someone?

[@meronaydiko4575]

I often feel inadequate for being so "unambitious" when it comes to careers, but I have to remind myself that you can be ambitious in your relationships, your non-monetized skills, your whatever!!

[@beccamatilda8621]

Still learning to remember and accept this as well, I appreciate the reminder and that I'm not alone in feeling this way. ☺️

[@lotuswolf1518]

Yes also by the current scenario life is unfair and unjust and unemployment is a major problem , most people don't like their jobs, terrible bosses, no passion, low salaries, nasty coworkers , nothing is worth it

[@xdshepard37]

“The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them.” ― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

[@Chachixo]

!!! and as long as you're happy and you're not hurting anyone, who cares? That's the way it should be.

[@lotuswolf1518]

@@Chachixo some people are always bitter about it and get offended, fuck them, we shouldn't care , if she has money she is retiring then

[@CS..8]

YES!!!!!! WHY aren’t we allowed to “job hop” to EXPLORE and LEARN and be a WELL-ROUNDED, OPEN-MINDED PERSON?!?!?!?! I never got that!!!!!!! If you want to only do one thing then HECK YES!!!!!!!! GO YOU!!!!!! But why is EVERYONE EXPECTED to do this instead of truly enjoying the world and life they live?!

[@nondescriptbeing5944]

It's because the thing that costs companies a boatload is training new employees, so they peddle these ideas.

[@DarknessIsThePath]

You live in a society.

[@rcor0net304]

"allowed"

[@blackmanops3749]

Well, the down side of doing this is that you'll always be at entry level. You will not achieve the expert level reward of honing your skill. That's the downside of being a generalist. The downside of being an expert is having limited choice of employers and/or being highly susceptible to industry ups and downs.

[@jordanb7304]

I don't think you're not allowed to. But for the businesses hiring you probably look unreliable? Most businesses don't want to invest into an employee that will leave and they will have to replace later. I think that's as simple as it gets

[@zachcurtis1283]

"Work is what you can get paid to do because nobody wants to do it." Alan Watts I'm 30 years old with a well paying, established job in manufacturing, and while many people think my job is so great and this is where I should want to be, I've learned that the perspective, especially in America, of the "value of hard work" is horribly misguided. Notice, the people who tell you to work hard and hard work is good for you and that should be your goal, they either have other people doing the hard work for them, or they've worked their life away, and look how broken down they are. Don't work your life away.

[@jesustyronechrist2330]

"Hard work" is brute-forcing it. Most successful people like Elon Musk wouldn't say "Work hard", but "Make a lot of mistakes". When he slept in his Tesla factory's office during production, it wasn't because he was "working hard", it was because his guidance and supervision was needed almost 24/7. Sure, he "worked hard", but what he actually did was have no trust in hiring people who could share this supervision burden. So in a sense, "working hard" is just "working stupid", when you could make this work a lot easier and efficient with a little bit of "hard work".

[@alchemist889]

"You'll be doing something you hate in order to keep doing something you hate, and that's stupid."

[@axeslinger94]

This mentality is a direct, historical result of the people here refusing to teach, honor, and acknowledge the complex history of american chattle slavery. What naysayers also fail to realize is not wanting to work doesn't just come from a place of privilege. Their viewpoint is steeped in capitalist realism, lack of nuance, and plain misinformation. There's no need for us to work as hard as we do when we have everything we could ever need and then some at our fingertips in this country. Other countries do not have this same luxury as a result of another vast web of forces hellbent on keeping them in abject poverty, but they also deserve to work much less than they do as well. This stance isn't just for decently well-off white people who don't wanna work and I wish more people could be upfront about that.

[@rainbrownie9056]

I can’t imagine a job actually paying me well that’s a dream for me lol 😂

[@roamingmompreneur792]

A lot of the hustling has more to do with impressing strangers than with personal growth.

[@anveshapandey952]

Some1 finally said it!

[@LiwaySaGu]

nailed it!

[@amilliev.6131]

exactly!

[@DrWhom]

I think that we are wired for living in a group of between 10 and 300 people. In such groups, every passing interaction matters because you _will_ be dealing with that individual again, maybe tomorrow, maybe next year. Now put our brains in an environment where there are 8 billion people to interact with and you get... well, me talking to you right now!

[@mikaela9799]

@@DrWhom hello! :)¨you're right

[@hape3862]

The hamster wheel looks like a career ladder only from the inside.

[@zsofiaszobonya8571]

I'm going to print this out and put it on my wall cause gods, I need this! Also, I wish I could show this to my workaholic parents, but they'd downright reject it.

[@acraze2287]

wow I've never heard of this analogy. definitely need to remember this one

[@danceparty4ever]

noice

[@babykosh5415]

This is brilliant, seriously.

[@Followmybliss777]

@@zsofiaszobonya8571 it’s not black and white, people do have careers they enjoy and a good life work balance - it can be done ✅

[@angelamarie6490]

This resonates with me. I was told my whole life to get a job already. But I did it my way. I was able to get my Bachelor's degree, get married, have 3 kids, be a stay at home mom for 12 years, work part time while homeschooling, cloth diaper, have a garden, take my kids to all the cool places in NYC (where we live), and now I'm back in college pursuing something new. I'm happy.

[@mochhhhee]

Honestly that sounds lovely! I'm 22 and some of my peers from highschool are graduating this year, while I am starting (yet again, because of mental health reasons). We are told that if you don't have your life solved by your mid twenties you're doing something wrong (Forbes 30 under 30 thank you not), and capital gains are only acceptable measure for success. I'm glad you're doing what makes you happy! Testimonies like yours make me feel hopeful 💕

[@Paul_Wetor]

And the money to support your dream life came from...?

[@angelamarie6490]

@@Paul_Wetor I am married 28 years to a man with a job and for the last 15 years I also have been working. We never had a lot of money. We sacrificed material things for awesome experiences with the kids and with each other. I'm still living my dream life. And you?

[@Paul_Wetor]

Never married, now retired. Solitude works for me, but I appreciate what parents do. (There is a park lagoon near me where kids are often looking for frogs with their parents. Some even have nets and boots. I mentally applaud them for participating in their child's interest.)

[@coralovesnature]

Whenever people say things implying that work is the only way to have a fulfilling life/ be productive, I always think, "What about stay at home parents?" I think it is wonderful to be a stay at home parent and that it is equally (or more!) important to any other job!

[@justcallmeteacup4711]

It's incredible how many angry, defensive comments are under the lists people made when answering what they'd like to do if they didn't need to work. Please, ask yourself why seeing hobbies and gentle desires makes you so hostile.

[@aprilaries164]

Please say that again.

[@fbaallied]

Because it's a first world problem.

[@suqadiqniwa]

@@fbaallied personally, I'm not from a first world country, but I don't want to spend my whole life slaving away to a company for pennies, they'll never share profit with us workers, so yuh. Fuck capitalism, finally we opened our eyes to the misery they pay us for our specialized labour.

[@fbaallied]

@@suqadiqniwa Correct, but I was just explaining why ppl are mad in the comments.

[@Chironex_Fleckeri]

@@suqadiqniwa Capitalism isn't the problem. Unfettered capitalism and Corporate Personhood are. There must be balance.

[@aliceinwonderland42020]

The idea of a 40 year career made me so depressed after I finished school, only when I realized I can do whatever I want I don’t have to conform to a system I felt free.

[@e11eme]

how? how do you make money? If i dont have my job i cant pay my bills, but im too tired to do anything after work

[@kitty79532]

@@e11eme the op doesnt mean he doednt have to work he saying it was crazy to think he has to do one single career and just work tirelessly for 40 years but he doesnt . He can quiet whebever he would like and do different job and try new things . You get out of life what you put into it . Be a slave to a system and stay in your comfort zone or dare to make bold choices and deal with them .

[@aliceinwonderland42020]

@@e11eme I do work! I‘m a self employed illustrator I always knew art is my true passion in life and finally pursued it. I love being self employed because the thought of working for someone else annoys me deeply since my career is my passion. I also now realized (I‘m 22) that I don’t have to be stuck in something I can always change, life in general always changes. I should’ve worded it better tbh, I felt like I had to do something I didn’t like and felt forced to do it just like school felt to me. That this was just how it is and that it just gets worse. That freedom you get when you turn into an adult can be overwhelming until you realize it’s all you ever wanted. Many people go with the mindset that life has to be miserable most times aka hating mondays cause of work they hate. I love every aspect of my life, finally a Monday doesn’t suck anymore.

[@aliceinwonderland42020]

@@e11eme maybe I can try giving you some advice. First you need to think about what you truly want in life what is your passion? And don’t overthink that it can be the most simple thing and its usually your passion since childhood. I always got the impression from my environment that art is a career for people who don’t wanna earn money that I should get a „real“ career. But that is total bs. You can make money from basically anything doesn’t matter what. Look at marie kondo for example, that woman just loved organization and made a whole career out of it. Don’t let other people limit your thinking of what you can achieve in life. If you have your passion you need to make a plan how to get there aka make money from it and here is yt and google your best friend I learned everything to be a self employed illustrator on here. And of course I had my years of working in retail and marketing at a 9-5 this took time and effort to achieve but it is absolutely possible. And also a very important aspect, maybe your passion isn’t a career. For some people their family is their passion, having kids and caring for them. Or living self substantially or whatever. You won’t feel like you don’t have time anymore because work „steals“ it all. Hope I could help 🌸

[@aliceinwonderland42020]

@@kitty79532 exactly what I meant!

[@GreenEnvy.]

Growing up, my parents were strangers who came home 2 hours before my bedtime. This is what living to work does.

[@seaportsthename]

my mom was a stay at home mom, my stepdad worked oilfield. he’s a good man, worked hard to support kids that weren’t his as well as his own. but that meant i grew up never really knowing the man that provided for me. it was like money just kind of appeared. we never needed anything. but we also would go weeks without seeing him. i’m 28 now and we pretty much dont have much of a relationship because of this. he also had some kind of epiphany and suddenly quit the oilfield and does random projects for fun in their garage. everyone thought he’d lost his mind. in my opinion he finally found it.

[@KaitlinGaspar]

@@seaportsthename i love that ending so much he is a success story :)

[@ReallyMartha]

@@seaportsthename I've got a somewhat similar story, but both parents worked. My relationship with my parents and siblings now is completely different from when I was a kid. I couldn't be more thankful for what we have now. Unfortunately, I now live 500+ miles away and across the US/Canada border, but I wonder if that plays a part in how much I miss them. I'm 31 btw. I think you could slowly start building a relationship with him! It's not too late. :)

[@Jennifer12342]

Or maybe they wanted to provide a house for you to sleep in. You should thank their selfless efforts instead of being bratty.

[@AntonioSerranoMx91]

@@Jennifer12342 indeed.

[@Danielle-to9un]

“Jobs aren’t designed for you to love them… the point is to give you income so you can participate in society”. Great point. It’s also when you act out of society’s “norms” that you’re ridiculed, because we’re all taught the same lie about productivity, getting a good job, etc., so it does the companies and the poor people who’ve followed them for years no benefit to break the mold. Misery loves company. And the companies need us to buy into it to keep the machine going. Thanks for posting.

[@spencerjames9417]

The problem is the people that genuinely believe they're making a societal contribution by slaving away for a fortune 500 company for the entirety of their lives

[@spencerjames9417]

Remember hearing that mantra as a kid, "Get a job so you can be a contributing member to society"

[@annab.5052]

What is so bad about contributing to society by supporting yourself, providing for your family, or simply having a reason to get out of bed each morning? What is the alternative - living without a purpose? I am sure your parents often wondered, “should I feed, clothe, and shelter Jack today?” Was their answer wrong? Did they ever know how grateful you were that they put your needs ahead of theirs when the alternative was quit their job(s) to “follow their dream”? Speaking for myself, I was glad that there was an adult in the room when I was growing up. Once my other seven siblings and I were out of the house, my parents did as they pleased, so they did not spend their entire lives working to support us.

[@coralovesnature]

@@annab.5052 Personally, I think there are many ways one can be a contributing member of society. Working a corporate job is just the most common one. For example, you could volunteer doing charitable things, be a stay at home parent, or even just work a more "irregular" or "untraditional" job. I currently work as a tax accountant and am the primary provider of my family. My husband works only 1 day a week and will be a stay at home dad when we have kids. I don't mind working because we need to have money to live, but I think some people aren't cut out for the corporate life. I also think other ways of contributing, especially being a stay at home parent, are invaluable to society and equally, if not more important, than working just to earn money. Not working does not equate to "without purpose" and following your dreams doesn't mean you have to quit working. Also, wanting something a little different for oneself does not equate to being ungrateful. I am very grateful and priveleged to have had 2 parents who provided for us and were present in our lives. However, they both had meaningless careers that they could take or leave and now that all of us kids are grown up and out of the house, they have few hobbies, little mutual purpose, and hate each other. Is having meaningless jobs the sole cause of this? No, but it's also not some magical glue that makes everything great and dandy. Either way, I don't want to end up like how my parents are now.

[@coralovesnature]

@Soham Mehta Yes, I'm not denying that. Even my current job as a tax accountant I find meaning in because I get to work directly with a lot of small, local business owners and I love that. But you can find meaning apart from work also. That's wonderful that you are called to be an astrophysicist, but from the very limited context I have, it just sounds like you are trying to control your wife and have her do what's best for you, not what's best for her. It's one thing to push someone/ encourage them in something they show interest in (if that's the case here, then great, you can disregard my other comments), but to force someone to do something they don't desire for themselves is just being manipulative. If my husband wanted to work or had a calling, I would encourage him to pursue it, but he hates school and no true career is of particular interest to him. On the other hand, he has shown great interest in being a father and prefers spending most of his time at home, so being a stay-at-home dad is a perfect fit for him.

[@nicolasm400]

@@annab.5052 because 5 out of 8 hours you work you don't actually contribute to yourself or society you live in but you contribute for your Employer who see you as a tool to be replaced as soon as it breaks

[@dianehong1217]

I gave up on being an artist at the age of 18 because everyone told me that I would starve if I majored in art. So, I chose something more practical. I regretted that decision every day since. Luckily, at age 50, I have started to draw and paint again. It is like rediscovering the real person that I am. It’s never too late, folks.

[@jmgmetal]

I did the opposite and it’s a financial struggle. Grass isn’t always greener on the other side. You can have hobbies but still be practical at the same time. In school they told me I could be a doctor or lawyer if I wanted because of my grades..but I was rebellious and stubborn. Pursued art, and I’m doing ok, but nowhere near what I could be making if I applied myself in a more practical manner.

[@AZ_TONY]

Idk why people give up their hobbies, plenty of hours in the week to accommodate almost anything if you delegate properly.....

[@cerberusnovaempire9483]

Well all my family and friends didn't waste an opportunity to tell me my art was not gonna make me money to leave it and focus on back breaking work. Now im a tattoo artist and make money amd they bitch about how soft my hands are and how i dont have to wake up hella early like them so now im "lazy" .. lol so just do what u wanna do your worst enemy is not your family or people who tell u that you can't do something your wors enemy is yourself . If u doubt yourself u never gonna reach that dream. Keep on fighting dreamers of the world

[@dramatriangle]

@@cerberusnovaempire9483 that's very inspiring to me.

[@Furyswipes]

My daughter was an art major. She's an engineer now cause she liked to eat and live in a house. Don't be an art major, kids. That's a hobby, not a way to provide for yourself. No one can teach you art anyway. It comes from within.

[@parisa9resident456]

I went through these thoughts and quit a corporate job when I was 38...I went from six figures to zero. I tried and had limited success creating income streams for myself while trying to find more balance in my life. At 43, I was 80,000 in debt and miserable. I returned to corporate America that year and made a vow to be thankful for the income and also know that it's just a job. I take all vacation...I don't strive for promotions and I work understanding that "they" don't give two craps about me. I do not spend hours ruminating on my work, I just do it and shut it down at the end of the day. Now, at 50, I'm out of debt and more realistic about how I approach work. It my case it was more about balance. I hated being broke and I don't want to live in a van, although I love that people are doing that. Good luck to you whichever way you go.

[@katelynbrown98]

As someone who's about to be 28, thank you for this!!! Financial stability is a real concern

[@mrsclayton1819]

I appreciate you sharing your experience! I think we are in similar situations. I don't want to completely quit working, I just don't want my job to dominate me. This is not a popular attitude and I feel alone at times, surrounded by many ambitious crabs in a pot.

[@Greetingsearthling22]

I think this is what I need to do. I’m late to life due to my circumstances and I’ve finally got a career but I need to work on allowing it to not dominate me. I feel like everything hangs on this job and I want everyone to like me and look at me as an asset. I stayed home today because I got a bad stomach that kept me up all night. I had to tell myself that I should stay home and get better and that my health is the most important, but moments come when I feel like I’m a disappointed which requires me to remind myself that I’m more important and to be okay if they stop liking me.

[@williamlehan4079]

It’s important to know your baseline standard of living and what you need to do to maintain that and no more. Yours may be higher than some peoples’, and that’s fine. Good for you that you figured out that balance.

[@taejun9017]

Thank you for actually putting monetary figures in your story, they are always left out of conversations like this, as if it's not a problem, and leaving your job to frolic about the world is just a matter of balls.

[@sixelaafiercee]

this whole video lit me the fuck up. I feel so seen, so heard, and excited to start to dream in a way that will produce a life that is well-lived versus well worked.

[@Yourrrr]

Wowwww reading this comment made me light up too just from the power behind the words in it!! I hope you’ve been dreaming up a life well-lived in the past 5 months 💕

[@sixelaafiercee]

@@Yourrrr thank you ☺️ I definitely have switched gears to live more than I work. It’s been lovely.

[@amaraj98]

This video was so validating! I’m currently 22 and it feels like my peers have it all figured out. But, I’m realizing it’s not that I don’t have it “figured out”, I just don’t have any desire to devote all of those years of my life to a company that doesn’t care about me. Thank you for this

[@marby.]

No one ever has it figured out, even the elderly. You're in a race by yourself. Don't focus on what others are doing, strive to be the best version of you. ✌🏾❤

[@khodges72]

At 22 I was a software engineer. From the outside, it might have looked like I had it "figured out", but really I was depressed and confused. I think that most people haven't figured out a damn thing.

[@nerdmaid1240]

This is such a common feeling in your 20s, but honestly, for most people their 20s is the time they feel least in control. I think you come out of your teens and feel like you need to demonstrate that you're no longer a kid and that you can function as an adult, but I remember asking my mum in my late teens when I would feel like an adult. She replied, 'I still don't'. We're all just play acting. I'm 47 and I still don't have it figured out. Always learning and enjoying the process. 💕

[@Selectraf]

If I didn't have to work I would: -work on healing my PTSD -learn how to write music -read, read, read -go on hikes and nature adventures -cook and grow food -spend time with my loved ones

[@numbskulled1984]

and have children *preach*

[@poppyseed7639]

Already doing it and the happiness isn't there

[@factsverse9957]

@@poppyseed7639 get some help, I guess, open up

[@poppyseed7639]

@@factsverse9957 that's not nice

[@ErosVDeus]

@@poppyseed7639 I don't believe they intended it in a nasty way? If you're doing stuff that should make you happy and it's not making you happy, then getting help about it would probably be a good idea. Help should never be a bad thing.

[@SparklesNJazz]

a wise older friend told me “everything you do in your life is your career.” totally changed me. 💞

[@eatingthesystemblog]

Love this

[@diamondsngunns88]

Beautiful!

[@marjiew]

l love this!!

[@irenemigliaccio]

That's a really good one 💓

[@yulsatriadi9793]

Thanks for sharing this beautiful ❤️

[@ibrahimpasha8229]

I work as a software engineer. I could care less about the work, it’s just a paycheck to me but I have a startup on the side which I get enjoyment out of and I’m proud of making that effort/work part of my identity because it’s mine. Even when it’s hard/exhausting. I never understood when people are so passionate about other peoples companies. I couldn’t care less.

[@62serpens]

Stockholm syndrome

[@audrey-zd5dm]

Lmao true

[@makeupgirl8886]

I think people find themselves working so hard because they can't afford to retire (live the life they want) if they don't. I don't think it has much to do with the company they work for.

[@LynetteAdkins]

This video is sooo good. When you read from Goodbye, Again I also identified with those passages and it made me really sad. Unlearning our tendencies to align our identities with our productivity/work is an active battle, but I'm so glad so many of us are doing it and speaking on it. & thanks for the mention!❤️

[@boldandbrash1990]

I used to have mental breakdowns at 14 because I didn't have a dream career and didn't know how I was gonna support myself growing up. Now I'm 20 and I'm pretty much lost.

[@OpqHMg]

Can relate. I was so depressed when I was 15 and started learning economics... And felt like there was only meaningless gloom awaiting me. But let me tell you I'm 29 now and happy :) because I'm working a job now that j don't hate. Don't know how it'll go in the future but that was my hope, to be able to feel comfortable and not worry about being able to afford basic necessities or things to enjoy. It's possible to end up with a decent job without a dream career too!

[@hwlsgrl]

@@OpqHMg whats the job

[@ChristianVBlue3]

Learn a trade. Way better than college

[@boldandbrash1990]

@@ChristianVBlue3 Go back to reddit

[@ChristianVBlue3]

@@boldandbrash1990 Keep being lost I guess 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@Imafoxygirl]

My ex girlfriend asked “what do you want to do with your life?” I said, “ I wish I could never work again” and that alarmed her.

[@p.t.9171]

I feel you, people really thunk all of us should be working to the bine like no. I just want to live :/

[@JemimaDoesASMR]

Because there's like, a balance. Working all day every day is not healthy and not fulfilling for most people. But there's a reason so many people fall into despair after retirement, because generativity, or feeling like you're being productive or contributing, is really important. It doesn't have to be in the form of a career, a lot of people like volunteering or other passion projects, but like, just wanting to have unlimited money and goof off all day genuinely isn't fulfilling.

[@Imafoxygirl]

@@JemimaDoesASMR I think it’s all about perspective. Some people might love goofing off and living a carefree life if that exists. But I know what you mean. Being a part of something bigger than you is fulfilling

[@fluffyrat4440]

In her defense, we're not yet at a world where we can afford to not work, unfortunately; I feel like your ex might've been worried that she'd have to devote her life to earning and taking care of somebody who won't provide anything in return for the rest of her life. And that sucks, yk, that that's the alternative to not working, but I feel like we shouldnt look down on her for feeling alarmed when this is still the world we live in

[@denide8921]

@@solarydays exactly.

[@humanclub2183]

I want my life work to be: -constantly learning about the beautiful world and universe around me -practicing spirituality -healing myself and helping others to heal as well -doing art for the sake of art -playing my intruments whenever i want to listen to music -writing whenever i want to read something -growing my own food and cooking it whenever i am hungry -going outside when i feel like it

[@prarthnap7105]

Sameee

[@scoutlaceharding]

I have mental illnesses and, in my case, they have been disabling. I dropped out of high school my senior year and for the longest time my obsession was getting back "on track." Get my GED, get into a four year university, figure out what my (marketable) passion was, and have a career. This is how I thought my life would go for as long as I could remember and I was desperate to make it happen because I had so much of my self-worth tied up in it. I forced myself through two semesters of college and had an absolute breakdown. I forced myself to get a part time job...and had an absolute breakdown. I was devastated. For now, at least, neither school nor working a traditional job are options for me but I am unbelievably lucky in that I have parents that support me. I recently turned 30 and that looming birthday brought all my lingering feelings of failure and self-doubt to the surface. But your video makes me wonder. What if I wasn't ill? What if I had followed "the plan"? Gotten a degree and a career? I was so focused on achieving these goals I never stopped to think about if they would make me happy. I honestly doubt it. It's entirely possible that, even if I didn't have the mental illnesses I do now. that forcing myself down that track would have caused a whole different host of mental health problems. Thanks for the video. It's given me lots to think about.

[@beeweasell]

When I was a kid I dreamed about being a designer, and now I am one. However, when you work at your dream job, that job becomes your life, because your passion is your job. I found that making your hobby a job is a double edge sword, because at one hand you enjoy what you do, but at the other hand you no longer have that hobby to decompress...

[@elie8680]

Hi I’m a graphic designer, and what you say is really true. But I’ve also found that I love designing when its for me, and when I can do it freely. But I’m almost done with my master year, and I’m scared that I don’t love it enough to take on all the stress that goes with it. When I have to design work for school it becomes like an obligation and I start to dislike it. So I’m scared that I’m ruining my love for designing by making it my job.

[@jiliciar.1423]

@@elie8680 I think you are ruining it because I use to love learning Spanish so I took that as one of my subjects at high school/secondary school and I hate it now. I wanna get back to learning it but I think I'll have to learn another language first so that I can have that passion to go back into Spanish again. I wanna learn French so I'll start with that then introduce Spanish back.

[@elie8680]

@@jiliciar.1423 Yes I agree, maybe I should take a little brake after I graduate to find that passion again, thanks!

[@GirlWithThePlumbobTattoo]

SO. TRUE.

[@LifeFilmz]

This is exactly why I want to make my passions/hobbies my side hustle and not my main hustle. That way I can create on my own terms and not out of obligation. My main job is to be of service to others but I don’t want to be treated like a work horse cause I can’t service others if my own needs aren’t prioritized.

[@empoweredesquire]

I almost quit being an attorney despite it being the career I always wanted. Once I left the office I was working in and starting working for myself, I fell in love with it again. Sometimes it’s the toxic environments that we work that makes us hate our work.

[@marilynmonheaux6356]

The good thing is you’re licensed to practice law and you can work for yourself on your own terms.

[@samanthab6642]

THIS THIS THIS THIS!!! People really need to understand this before them completely give up on their dreams. I am in my 30s pursuing a new career and my goal is to get my independent license eventually so I can work for myself.

[@Rosieq1197]

Yes mam!

[@xlx077]

Thiis!!!!

[@edwinvargas7969]

I’d argue the toxic environments are exactly because of the system which increasingly asks more of us, and makes us more competitive through scarcity, which forces people to become toxic to come out on top. It always starts from the root.

[@emmawhateverr]

The fact that my ENTIRE family (my mom, my brother, and my sister) quit their jobs this year/last year to follow their dreams and take a risk speaks volumes!!! YOLO!!!

[@loliwelch9151]

Curious to hear updates! 🙂

[@natramirez099]

Oh girl, you are wise beyond your years! Love this video so much! I'm changing careers at 39 from 13 years in education. Found you as I'm exploring Edtech Sales. Love teaching a lot, and not totally burnt out, love the kids, but knew when I got into it that I would not be doing one thing for 30+ years, and at the time I wanted to teach for a while but recently I've started to outgrow my container. Don't over plan for the long term. Go with what brings you joy and fulfillment now, carve out time for joy and fulfillment outside of work life, and adapt and grow as you evolve!

[@mood1694]

'' Jobs aren't designed for you to love them '', that, hit me real hard. I've never looked at it that way before. I've always said to myself that I wanted a job which I love, that would make me happy. But I've come to the realization that I just want a job that doesn't make me almost cry, get mad, or be depressed when I wake up in the morning. I already get those feelings when I have to go to school, and I'm sick of them.

[@gmma125_5]

28 years old. It won't change unless you do something significant now. Wishing you the very, very best. Chase your dreams, please do. If you fail it's not a problem you'll love you had the balls to try. That may be the only consolation though, life is suffering. and more so when you think the way you've demonstrated (I do too, not attacking you). To simplify it all, assess your expectations and map out what would give you the most peace. If you do this honestly you'll realise that there are certain things you'll have to sacrifice or at least run the very real risk of not having (high status, marriage, kids, career) but ultimately you may (and only may) reach that point of peace and happiness, a worthy risk I'd say. Therapist and a little prayer won't hurt either ;). Lots of love - good luck

[@zinab2blessa]

If the job has a meaning to you and gives you a sense of purpose, then you will end up loving it. ALL places of work have their challenges but some are tolerable and as an adult you will have the ability to navigate through them and decide when it's time to move on from that job that is bringing you misery!! As humans we can be weak at times and it is OK, that is the reality. Accept it and give your body the right to feel whatever you are feeling at that moment and make prayers so that He might give you strength to go through this. Try and minimize your consumption of social media, don't compare your life to others and definitely find something you enjoy outside of school(knitting, drawing, food making, self development courses, skating, exercise, writing.. etc.) This way you will map out your interests and discover your stronger sides. Volunteering also helps a lot to frame you view of the world and it might make things clearer.

[@zinab2blessa]

@@gmma125_5 Beautiful comment. In my religion there is the concept of making the effort and leaving to rest to GOD. If things are meant for you, no one will take them away from you. So when you fail, it means this was not meant for you to have at this moment in life(you might get them a later point) and maybe there is a lesson to be learned here for the future. You give your self time and then you try again. I hope the OP reads your comment

[@mood1694]

@gmma125_ @zinab2blessa Thank you very much for taking some time out of your day to write those comments!♥ I REALLY appreciate them and will definitely take them into consideration/ apply them. I've already started, as you guys said, to map out what I enjoy doing the most, and got some ideas for the future. Especially because I've only got a couple of months left before graduating (PS: I didn't rush the ideas, it took me some time before I finally found out what I really liked). Now, if things don't work out, I won't beat myself over them, as you guys said, maybe it wasn't meant for me and at least, I had the balls to pursue what was, at the time, important for me. Of course, I know that not all things in life will be great, there will be some challenges however I'm still going to try my best and pursue what I love doing and if it wasn't meant to be, then it wasn't. Again, thank you very much, I wish you a beautiful day/evening! ♥

[@jjhoran6238]

Move off grid and become self reliant. Then you'll never need to worry about a career, job, money, bills, taxes etc. Then you have all the time in the world to enjoy life and not be a slave to the corrupted system.

[@skeingamepodcast5993]

My husband was diagnosed with cancer 5 years ago. We had been saving and saving to buy a sailboat to live on so we could cruise the world. We had to use our savings to live off of as I had had a stroke a few months before his diagnosis (we were 36 and 24 at the time). When he went into remission we sold our house and moved into a truck camper. All 88 sq ft of freedom. While out roadtripping we stumbled upon a beautiful sailboat. A few months later, she was out home. It's been 3 years of tiny living and 2 years on the boat (upgrade to 100 sq ft). We wouldn't change it for anything. It's a real privilege to have this life and be out living our dreams at 40.

[@sautrah]

💕💕💕

[@Furyswipes]

You are living the dream!

[@Alinda1308]

Beautiful!

[@avidhossanmansur9830]

Guess I need to get myself cancer to escape my rat life lmao.

[@Pimp-Master]

Sounds like the story for the modern poor.

[@HowToWatchMovies]

I haven't been in touch with this kind of thinking since I finished college. I'd actually started to feel that this kind of thinking just couldn't survive "the real world" since I hadn't seen it out here. Thrilled to have found your channel!

[@blue_samurai_zero]

It seems like Americans ask two different questions. "What do you do?" is an abbreviation of "What do you do for a living?", meaning to make money. To ask about interests and hobbies separate from employment, the question is "What do you like to do?" If the two answers overlap, that's a different topic which she addressed.

[@Wearysiren3]

Love the third question, going to use that from now on!

[@shineymcshine5026]

Sometimes i question myself “should i leave America 🇺🇸 & move to 🇨🇦 ? Or live in 🇳🇴? 🇩🇰? 🇸🇪? Although these countries do have issues (like any country would) their actually more organized & have a different type of respect for the people who live in these places. These countries are Kicking Americas🇺🇸 ass right now. These countries seem very humble & not so “pyramid scheme” “ladder climbing” type mentality.

[@Smalls-eye24]

Y’all ever notice that it’s impossible to hang out with anyone outside of work bc our schedules are always so different therefore ensuring isolation even more

[@Tiarose88]

Adulting ruins everything

[@aegisreflector1239]

We have to find a way to change the system and rebel

[@sarahlyd4015]

YES

[@tiffytiffamanda1217]

yes!! omg, it actually makes me sad!

[@AmberNicoleOfficial]

Literally 🤦🏽‍♀️ I hang out with my best friend of 15 years probably 4 times a year no lie

[@austinmoon]

I first thought of my aunt. She has a very modest life (some would say lower-middle class). I honestly don’t even know what she does for a job nowadays. I admire her because when we go on hikes together she makes me laugh and think new thoughts. I admire her because she’s very spontaneous and loves adventure. I admire her because her house is filled to the brim with plants and it looks like a jungle. I admire her not because of her job, but because of her dynamic personality and her fun hobbies.

[@cauthoncrazy]

Yup, I know a few woman like this and seeing them content gives me something to consider in my own life.

[@michelefair1577]

I love this!! 🙌🏻

[@VictoriaWonders]

this is such a relief, but don we all!!??

[@hannahmayo6582]

“She makes me think new thoughts.” This is such a refreshing, inspiring, and wholesome idea 🙏🏻

[@tusharmulchandani3658]

I admire her too, thank you

[@donnettadavis6809]

Wow, this is absolutely amazing, sis. Thank you for this topic and video. It truly TRULY resonates with me. I'm learning more and more about how to disconnect from this toxic societal norm in an effort to find a renewed joy.

[@HahtaanDaetori]

We need leisure, sleep and good health. Ironically these things make us more productive workers but make us look lazy. Most of us experience constant stress, worry, and busy-ness. A great many of us experience anxiety, depression. So, our bodies need rest, our minds need rest. And yet, we are so terrified of falling behind, not measuring up, not fitting in, or discovering that we’re unworthy or unlovable, that we fill every single moment of every single day with SOMETHING. Which leads us to numbness, dissociating, disconnecting, exhaustion, and burnout. You are not lazy. You deserve to rest. You deserve to slow down. You deserve nourish yourself: to sleep, to eat, to play, to have fun, to feel good. You never have to earn those things because those things are what it means to be human.

[@stoogey1]

I buried my mom, dad, brother, uncle and grandad from the age of 9-13. I'm 42 now and my passion is to help kids going through now what I went through in my childhood and help them through their grieving in a good and healthy way. I'm in the process of starting a vtuber channel and sharing my life experiences and tips I've learned myself and from other people. For kids who's going through the grieving process, they feel alone and I'm going to be there to help them.

[@KaliKali-hv9bt]

@stogey1 wow! You sound amazing. That is such fulfilling and helpful purpose you have there.

[@KaitlinGaspar]

my cousin just lost both their parents and i’m really struggling to help them through their grief-

[@stoogey1]

@@KaitlinGaspar One website to look up is mourning hope. It's a childhood grief counseling service. They have a camp every summer to help process grieving in a positive way. Healthygamergg has a discord where they can talk about it too, if that helps.

[@Nonyah123]

Wow, I wonder if you've ever considered getting certified as a counsellor? That experience would be invaluable

[@kittyykatie]

that sounds great 🥺

[@murraymanitos]

I think that one aspect that not enough people talk about is the fact that in the modern world, if you want to have and support a family with kids it is VERY difficult to avoid selling your soul to a corporation. It's one thing when you're choosing between a career and a bigger house or a nicer car. It's quite another when you're choosing between a career and an education for or medical care for your children.

[@tirecs04]

The day will come when birth rates are so low, every country will need to incentivize having children. It's already happening in some countries. Although, that doesn't mean the world would be better off for it when some people just shouldn't be parents.

[@yellowsparklefish337]

This is why my country (Denmark) was named the happiest country in the world: With free education (actually, you get paid for taking one) and free healthcare, people don't have to choose between family and work to the same degree that they do in the US. We have so much freedom here, I hope the citizens of the US will realise that taxing the rich isn't a step backwards when it comes to the freedom of the common people

[@koipen]

@@yellowsparklefish337 *Finland but close enough :p

[@guillll]

In most rich countries (and a bunch of poorer ones) you don't have to choose, because education and medical care are free or very cheap. That's why voting for the right people is important.

[@Pixiee_Stardust]

Good point!

[@still5853]

I really appreciate you talking about this. I actually stopped watching this channel back when it was very work-oriented, because it was just too much for me, and I said "well, good for her, but I'm out" (and also because I knew I wouldn't be able to have the same insanely high work ethic, so I didn't want to feel bad about myself). It's so cool to see you grow out of the super-work-oriented mindset that this channel was all about - there really is a huge difference in you 6 years ago and now, and it's definitely a positive difference. Thank you for updating us, it's really exciting to see you grow and to get to grow with you as well throughout the years.

[@Virtella.]

This is so refreshing, you are so articulate and whilst I totally got to this point a few years back (after doing the whole burn out to relax thing too!!) I really loved hearing you speak on this! Really enjoyed this :)

[@jasonbryan9056]

How are you doing 😊😊☺️👋

[@Sophia-ix2ri]

I quit my corporate job at a tech company for exactly this reason. Everyone thinks I’m crazy for not having a new job lined up, but I know I need space in order to figure out who I am and what I want. I used to be such a workaholic that it gave me cancer, which I am grateful for, since it helped me see my true priorities. When you confront death in your twenties, you start thinking, “am I okay with this being my legacy?” That’s when I realized living to work was not living and my soul needed more than that.

[@moon_mint]

Respect. What an awesome story.

[@ClayMastah344]

Thank you for your testimony Sophia. I’m very glad you’re still here with us, to find what makes you happy

[@Hannah-nh5qj]

What do you mean when saying “I used to be such a workaholic that it gave me cancer” ??

[@Sophia-ix2ri]

@@Hannah-nh5qjFor many years I worked 12+ hour days in a toxic work environment. During that time I developed an extremely rare cancer with no known cause, no genetic or other medical explanation other than perhaps stress/trauma from (among other things) my work. Gabor Mate has some interesting things to say about stress and illness. Perhaps it was just bad luck, but in that case I still put off getting a lump checked because I was trying so hard to be productive instead.

[@michelen5728]

@@Sophia-ix2ri Good Luck Sophiii!!! Stay safe

[@somebicycle6684]

My mom has been doing laundry for a nursing home for 25 years. When people ask her how she has stayed that long she says, "I leave my brains at the door when I come in, and pick them up when i leave."

[@erichopham]

Well someone has to do it, it might be a boring sounding job but it’s definitely important!

[@101ineke]

Thats the spirit you work to live, not they orther way

[@erynhilditch675]

Yup work as a barista and its the exact same for me. I work here to pay my bills and pay for the creative work I do on the side

[@deroil7270]

I got a job as UPS truck loader, I get to exercise for a few hours a day, make some decent money, and get to be alone with my thoughts for a bit 👌

[@a.wanderer5006]

This is kind of why i liked manual labor jobs even though I'm a journalist now. You just put in your time and don't have job stress. A cognitive job consumes your thoughts all the time.

[@TiffanyYang0809]

this video felt like a painful yet gentle calling out to my current existence and my parent's and their parents, parents.... i always found it so odd that my mom would come home EXHAUSTED and say that she loves her work and it brings her joy, but I see how much it stresses her out...it could be a multitude of reasons as well but this video opened my eyes to a lot

[@sarahw5693]

I heard about Goodbye, Again by Jonny Sun from this video and I borrowed it from my library as an audiobook and I LOVE it. I quickly bought the physical book to annotate. Thanks for sharing this book, Katherine! 😊

[@Jillianrc]

I just got a new job at a vet hospital, and my mom sat me down and was talking to me about how I can make it into a career. She said surely it’s not your “dream job” and I told her my dream job is to stay home and take care of my family and home. She was saying all of these things about going back to school and I haven’t even had my first day yet. The pay is very good, and my husband makes quite a bit more so we are actually doing really well even without my new income. We’ve really been realizing how money and status obsessed our parents are. They’re always trying to get us to spend money and go out, and we are very frugal by nature. We value time together and minimal living over killing ourselves to work two careers.

[@denisadellinger4543]

Staying home is not a crime. Raising little ones is the most fulfilling thing you can do because young people are so lost today because their parents had to work and was not there for them. I think your new job sounds wonderful. In my generation, mothers stayed home and were housewives and mothers. I was better for it. then when I got up to about sixth grade, she got a job at my school. She worked another 30 years and was fulfilled. If you are able to do that, do it. You can alway go back to work later. The job at the vet sounds great.

[@Myrslokstok]

You will tank yourself later! The kids puke 🤮 down the new car anyway, and it is still the best car.

[@phyllisbooth3395]

I am a 60 year old and I was a homemaker at a time when it was not popular in the 1990s and early 2000s. Still volunteer, drive an old car, live in a modest house, go to rummage sales, and I love my life choice living a simple life and enjoy our grown sons and my husband of 36 years. And young lady I totally support YOUR CHOICE.

[@FruityUnicorn17]

@@phyllisbooth3395 Thank you Phyllis. It’s so hard to find this kind of advice nowadays.

[@nafeesahassan5469]

stay home then:)

[@sarahmotozaki7167]

2015 Katherine: Soo high schoolers you should start making your LinkedIn before it's too late! 2021 Katherine: I want LinkedIn ANNIHILATED

[@kxlot79]

Growth.

[@LiLBitsDK]

experience, growth and self respect

[@Ava_Eve]

Thank you so much for this video Kath! This video needed so desperately to be put out here right in this time period. I've been saying all of this same stuff for all of my life to people. The purpose of life is to enjoy it, love it, feel it. This is your gift. To help people love their life through you loving yours.

[@madisonsingleton5774]

Thank you so much for making this video. Was feeling very heavy today, and your video let me know that I am not alone in feeling this way.

[@Quintussmit]

I spent my 20's and 30's working very hard to get everything I wanted. I missed the first 6 years of my daughter because I left when it was still dark and came home long after her bedtime. I have a house, two cars, swimming pool, daughter in private school, the whole thing. Then, during the lockdown, for the first time I was forced to actually sit in my garden. I was looking out over the pool, having a coffee and listening to the birds signing, and realized I don't get any joy from it. All my possessions are chains, I don't own it, it owns me. When I swim with my kid, I only see the dirt on the bottom that still needs to be cleaned, when I sit in the garden, I only see the grass that needs to be cut, walking though the house I only see the paint that needs to be redone, the new crack that needs to be filled etc. So I quit my job, started my own thing and I am moving to Europe with my family to travel and see all the things we always wanted to see. My daughter will be home schooled and hope that I can teach her to NEVER, EVER, get caught up in the brainwashed dreams we are sold by society.

[@anshaguila8393]

This is so beautiful. I love that you're taking your daughter away from the atmosphere of propaganda. When in school you get fed with nothing but the "only way to success" narrative which is very close minded and employee orientated

[@HahtaanDaetori]

Yes, we are told that if we buy this external thing that we will fix internal problems. The make us think we need these things to be "successful" or happy. We work to survive, and the corperations (or whoever) we work for love it when we hustle and base our self worth in how productive (in this context) we are. But we need to see that the system needs to change, inequalities need to be challenged, so our lives aren't just about working for some cooperation, and we can't just ignore it. We need to collectively bring change to liberate every worker from being wage slaves.

[@nondescriptbeing5944]

These ideas in movie form: Fight Club. lol

[@blackmanops3749]

Congratulations.

[@Quintussmit]

@@nondescriptbeing5944 You broke the first rule

[@CHK12319]

Ive felt this way my entire life. The word “career” actually gives me a pit in my stomach and makes me cringe. Ive never understood why people want a “career.” Life is about relationships, health, wellbeing, and personal growth in my opinion. Id rather live simply than slave away my time at a company.

[@Becky0494]

Yeah, people doing jobs that we literally cannot live without (doctors, nurses, engineers) are just empty shills for companies... I get what you’re saying, but people need to work so people like you can sit on your phone (designed and manufactured by engineers, programmers, marketers) and complain about having to go to a job

[@CHK12319]

@@Becky0494 I’m not saying rewarding jobs that truly make a difference are empty. But climbing some corporate latter for status is not the path for me. Many (not all) corporate jobs have very little positive impact on society. And meanwhile, motherhood has been degraded while women are told they need to “have it all” to justify their worth and are encouraged to pursue a stressful career while someone else raises their kids. Motherhood is a job that “we literally cannot live without” yet society does not act like its worthwhile. Also, I am a marketer (purposefully part time and I live frugally to afford the pay cut) and I promise you it is not a job that has any meaning or higher value. Id give up my phone in a heart beat.

[@walking_introvert]

Venus Project, Zeitgeist Movement, Peter Joseph, Jacque Fresco, Free World Charter, and the 14 hour TROMsite documentary helped me know that what I was feeling all along was correct. Funny how people cheer for a system that brings war profiteers, prisons for profit, and a system that creates a multitude of crappy and unhealthy products just so we can have jobs. Some people would volunteer to help in our hospitals, become doctors, help the elderly for the joy of helping others. Not everyone would sit around and play video games. Automation and AI will one day render most jobs useless and resources on a finite planet cannot allow the system to continue. Watch Paradise or Oblivion on KZbin.

[@mikaela9799]

@@walking_introvert What are these documentaries about?

[@walking_introvert]

@@mikaela9799 they are all based on a better way of organized society for the better of all humans, the environment, and treating the world and its resources as a whole. Look on KZbin for "Paradise or Oblivion" for a overview. You can then google search for the others. There are also tons of youtube videos of Jacque Fresco on different topics. All of those I listed believe that a monetary system or even a society based on trade will always result in poverty, war, violence, etc.

[@fernandabrandao8240]

Thank you so much for your sharing! I’m 23 and yesterday I was thinking I’m a failure bc I can’t even picture what’s my “dream job”, really frustrated and now I’m feeling calmer and less ET about it. Again, thank you.

[@marissatims6980]

I'm so glad you are talking about this. I think a lot of people feel this way but tend feel alone and remain silent. 💚

[@Calikid331]

I literally cannot see myself working at a 9-5 job for the rest of my life and being happy. Life is too short to waste it doing things for someone else who doesn't care about my well being.

[@DrWhom]

it is not your boss's job to care for your wellbeing however, you are right, if you do not want to do "things for someone else" you need to start working for yourself. the trick is to be able to do this and not starve!

[@tgtgtgtgtgtgtg]

Yeah, no. Because after doing your hygiene, eating, and striving for 8 hours of sleep, you have no time to live. You’re living for the weekends where likely you’re spending those days cleaning, and running errands or whatnot. And that’s IF you have a stable 9-5. Don’t even get me started on the other side that works these low paying jobs with no benefits that see no issue in scheduling you for an opening shift right after a closing shift. Like wtf? I’ve been pushed to lie and say I have a kid just to get a decent schedule with respect to my wellbeing.

[@zs2302]

@@DrWhom It should be. Because if I'm giving you my time and energy - most precious thing, I expect more than some paper. I expect fairness at the least.

[@monkey6207]

I think most people are broken from going to school all day everyday. I was homeschooled and will find a way out. I will never get a full time job; never!

[@luxekook]

@@monkey6207 Same. I was also homeschooled and only did a couple years of online school that destroyed my mental health. We can find a way out of this. A job is not our purpose... We are bigger than this shit.

[@somebicycle6684]

The 21st century woman is supposed to be an independent woman with a "career" of her own. But I find myself much happier doing housework for my family.

[@user-cx2kr2dw6r]

Me too, i feel so lonely when im at work. And i miss my family every single minute. i want to take care of them and cooke them warm meals made with love instead of cold resturant food or canned food. Every day i walk out of my work place i feel like i was set free. but then im too tired to enjoy my time with them, so i always have this cold layer over my heart. if i die like this, i will die with regret. i dont have beautiful memories with them to calm me on my death bed or nice memories for them to hold on when im gone

[@agstinacueva1673]

Women who raise families are valid too and I love u for it

[@user-iz2cb2kj4g]

The thing about feminism is that it's all about having a choice. If you choose to be at home, that's ok. If you choose to devote yourself to a career, that's ok. If you choose to have children or to not have any, that's ok. It's our choice.

[@chamade166]

@@user-iz2cb2kj4g That’s an anti-feminist take. A strong and empowered woman should be self sufficient, have a career and/or an independent contracting power player. With your thinking it’s only a matter of time before you end up used by the patriarchs.

[@Yellow-Rose]

@@chamade166 Choice means some will and some won't. There's not a scarcity of women in the career world, so there's no need to get out your penis guillotine. I personally think the future would be much better with more stay-at-home Mom's. I think it will cut down on some of the insanity and idiocy that's running rampant in today's youth.

[@hermanolm]

this video is simply incredible! i was looking for this type of thoughts for a while! it's a pitty that my english is not so good, because you said a lot of good things there!

[@nicoleserfaty4180]

Sent by Elena Taber and so glad she did! This is such an incredible way to look at the corporate ladder we are all standing in front of. It definitely has me thinking and reflecting about my goals and what fulfills me. How do I define my life? The answer is I don't know but I want to figure it out. THANK YOU for this!!

[@stiles9635]

I know someone who was so moved by a story about missed opportunities, that he literally dropped out of his bachelor's degree and worked on a fishing boat for 2 years. He now has his PhD and is working on a pretty cool physics project, but also is the most happy go lucky and laid back person I know. I feel like he discovered the truth about balancing work and happiness.

[@queenofalltheflowers2290]

What was the story? I want to read it, and good for him, that’s amazing!

[@Akihiko-senpai]

That's a badass move right there 💯

[@janacagle2141]

How did you take care of the essentials while working on the boat. Did he live with mom? Did his gf pay his bills? How did he buy the parts for the boat?

[@TheDoosh79]

My problem is I am unable to focus on life when I have a job. A job requires about 95% of my mental focus and strength to keep going, which just leaves me mentally exhausted for the other 5% that involves the basic personal care of eating, hygiene and sleeping. The happiest and most content I have ever been is when I have been out of work. It seems to be either or for me, job and no life or a life but no job.

[@rosepemberton5262]

It sounds like your work is burning you out. I used to spend whole weekends just netflixing. Part time job with a side gig when i have the energy seems to work best for me.

[@TheDoosh79]

@@rosepemberton5262 Yes, but I've had many different jobs and they all require 100% mental focus to get through. I couldn't afford to live on a part time job, cost of living is too high.

[@jesustyronechrist2330]

You're simply overworking. Trust me, the moment you have let's say a month of free time, you realize how little you've actually done that you "wanted" to accomplish while daydreaming. Honestly, we need to work. It balances us out. The most stuff I ever did in my job and free time was when I had a part-time job. I had enough energy for worklife and normal life. I learned to play more of the guitar than I did in an entire summer of just sitting on my ass unemployed just as an example. Too much free time is makes you as lethargic as too much work. Also, cost of living high? I guess you life in a big city?

[@dominico3737]

Thats not normal, some of your habits may be contributing to the lack of energy, find out if there is a problem / what the problem is

[@electriclilies2642]

I felt this way and I had undiagnosed ADHD.. That’s definitely not normal

[@creaturespuppet]

I'm so grateful to have come across this video, it really helped me out and affirmed what I've been wondering for a while. Or at least since I dropped out of university last year in the midst of the pandemic and feeling pressured by family to find a new career path I wanna go down. Thank you for making this video and giving me something to think about more

[@kara.g.]

Yes!! I totally agree that we need to stop basing our identities around our jobs. Thanks for sharing! I cited you as an inspiration in my video on this topic.

[@BluuKiss]

If I didn't have to work, I would: - exercise regularly and get my myself back to healthy weight - learn to cook meals that are tasty, healthy and nutritious - grow a vegetable garden - keep a pet animal (or two) - draw whatever I want and accept more art commissions - explore outdoors and maybe travel overseas with my partner - maintain a cozy home Edit: To clarify, these are some things i would like to do to occupy my time when I no longer have financial/job insecurity. I get that these things can be done on the side. But as of now, I spend most of my time focused on my job/earning money. To be honest, I rarely ever feel well-rested so I don't pile on more things which might be irresponsible of me to do.

[@michaylalovelygal]

Dream life 😌

[@daddy3484]

So you’d be homeless and drink well water?

[@ldive]

trust me whenever im not working im just lazing around on my phone or in my bed. working drives majority of us. I do however get spikes of motivation to that stuff. I feel we should we working less (especially japan poor them) and have more of a balance in our lives rather than eliminating one thing thinking it'll better everything.

[@NomastiAfricanWarlord]

If you didn't work, you wouldn't do any of those things. You'd laze around, do a bunch of half finished projects, and then be bored and listless. I mean think about the times in your life when you did have a lot of downtime? Vacation, lost a job, etc,. The vast majority of us mostly just dicked around. We didn't become productive people. Productive people who truly have the drive to pursue their goals (whether it's health or passions) are going to do them, regardless of whether they work a 9 to 5. People use the existence of their jobs as an excuse not do shit. If you really wanted to exercise. You would do it. If you really wanted to learn how to cook and eat healthier meals, you would do it. If you really wanted to draw more or have another pet, YOU WOULD DO IT.

[@carleynorthcoast1915]

People have mentioned they experience lethargy when they have had a period of free time. I think this inevitable because deep down inside you want to have a break from the American style work week. if you have enough time off you get bored and you genuinely want to be productive in some way - that could include cooking and gardening. I think most people who have been in the workforce for more than a decade could use a three to six month vacation. When you do become productive you have to actually make plans have a schedule and even "make" yourself work sometimes You won't always feel like working in the garden.

Capitalism continually feeds us the illusion of finding happiness through a "career." In reality, we can find true happiness from simple things like family, gardening, learning, creating art, etc.

[@maliha3305]

But how else are we able to sustain ourselves without career?

[@zebnemma]

Capitalism also sells the idea together with consumerism that you need luxury to be happy, to buy the latest Iphone, have designer clothes, an expensive car etc etc... Always go on the fanciest vacation, have flashiest jewelry a big house. To me it all just comes off as so fake. Like who are you trying to impress?? Does it convince me that just because you can afford all of these luxury things you have a happy life? or is it just to fill the emptiness within yourself? I feel like yes leading a luxurious lifestyle can make people more relaxed but to be able to afford that lifestyle they must have a pretty stressfull job maybe so they may not have such awsome lifes afterall. I could be just as happy by having a lower paying job that is less stressfull, and that way I won't even feel the need to fill some void with luxury bs. I think if you can have a decently relaxed life and living your authentic self you will have the maximum of happiness, but how to get to that point doesn't just have one path that people try to tell you. And I don't think slaving for a company is the answer or to be greedy thinking I need to buy new useless stuff all the time, atleast it's not for me.

[@Jeremy-wp4yh]

🤣🤣🤣🤣 Who pays your bills?

[@authorbhattacharjee4957]

Agreed. Although you can also monetize on those skills you develop and get some quick cash out of it ;)

[@-toriizaka46]

@@Jeremy-wp4yh obviously u do these simple things that enrich ur life whilst u have a job

[@samanthajones2429]

Wow, thank you for this! I just found your channel and this video resonates so much. You are awesome! Love your vibe.

[@helloalexandraa]

Loving your videos recently Katherine 😌❣️ I know a lot of people our age have gone through a sort of puberty over the last year and it’s awesome to still be able relate to your content

[@theuberman7170]

This pandemic made many people rethink work. Which is exactly what our society needed.

[@sylvie9256]

Yessss

[@mercyreign969]

THANK YOU. Yes. Yessss.

[@motherwolf1529]

Nobit made people lazy and sit on their asses at home whether it's receiving government help or working on a computer from home

[@motherwolf1529]

Also I'm not a Boomer, I just know the difference between sitting on your ass in front of a screen all day and actually being more active in a real, human, face to face work environment.

[@avserenity7240]

@@motherwolf1529 No, many employers weren’t paying their employees enough to live and their greed caught up with them. Let’s call a thing a thing. Stop defending this pathetic system.

[@CompTechMike]

"Careers" went out with our parent's generation. Along with most unions. Now it's "employment at will", which means you can get fired at any time for any reason. Employers suck and have no loyalty to their employees, so why should employees feel any different? 🤷‍♂️

[@911preety]

When I was young (I'm 58), first started working, the whole atmosphere was different. There was a mutual respect and a genuine working relationship between employers and employees. Today - more machines have taken work away from humans, and boss humans demoralize and objectify servile humans. There's a lot more I could say, but - I work for myself now, and I have never felt so free!

[@xXRubella666Xx]

@@911preety This. I work for myself too and while I got into it because I wanted freedom and control over my life, a huge part of why I do it now is because I want to help others on their path to achieving the same. It's heartbreaking to watch people suffer in jobs and environments where they aren't valued and their jobs aren't safe.

[@T4nku0ut]

Unions are trash and corrupt anyways What went out the window was leaders, people with values and virtue. All that plagues people's mind's nowadays is greed, fear (scarcity vs abundance), wanting more power, control and materialism. That's the problem

[@911preety]

@@xXRubella666Xx Exactly! I have been through a lot of jobs in my life, and stability and respect are out the window. I truly appreciate not having to punch a timeclock or take orders from anyone!

[@j_usteen]

@@911preety the fact that employers were never loyal to their employees are so sick. Plus when they feel "betrayed" and enforce discipline and all that shit I hate employment I hate people who were heirs of the parents who actually worked hard to build the businesses and yet actually still treated employees as equals. I hate entitled pricks

[@shayberhane]

Thank you for this! I always tell this to people but never could explain it as well as you! Great job!

[@aldami3602]

I feel like this is a new voice finally being raised by a variety of people and I love everything- you speak from the depths of my soul. I will try to establish myself right now without all the pressure of a career!

[@PilferedRose]

What’s sad is that I think more people would come to this same conclusion if they had the time and emotional energy to do more introspection. But when I get home from work, my mind is so empty and I’m so exhausted, the last thing I want to do is reevaluate my life choices and find out I’m wasting my life so my boss can enjoy theirs.

[@mechanomics2649]

I mean, even if you have the time and energy, it only does just so much good. You still have to eat and keep the lights on.

[@PilferedRose]

I get exactly 6 and a half hours to enjoy myself at home between work and sleep. Where am I supposed to squeeze in an existential crisis??

[@PilferedRose]

@Dustin Rathke that’s the truth tho

[@thembones9268]

It's easy to see one's boss as the evil corporate overlord, when he could well be just as dead inside, except with a higher salary at the cost of even more work and responsibilities. Having a subordinate doesn't mean your fixed salary magically turns into stocks.

[@PilferedRose]

@@thembones9268 no I understand, I’m using “boss” as short hand for upper level management. My direct managers are both sweethearts who I don’t fault at all. They have zero control over my pay and benefits since I’m a contract employee. The people who control my work site aren’t allowing permanent employees to be hired, so they’re not even allowed to bring me on permanently at the moment. They’re more who I’m talking about.

[@marilynmonheaux6356]

I got fired from a job I worked for ten years and I realized I never spent any money because I worked 12-16 hour days for the last decade. Now I’m moving to Spain to take long naps during the day and read Ernest Hemingway.

[@psykonautt]

have fun

[@amilliev.6131]

heck yah ! enjoy !

[@asanabright538]

Congratulations on your liberation. Enjoy it without a care, you have earned it.

[@Adrianaxo.]

@@asanabright538 this is awesome!

[@callheryasmin21]

I love this video!! Thank you for this. I went to nursing school for 5 years, graduated left the profession 2 years later. Lets also normalize the fact that you do NOT need to stay in a career because you've invested so much in the eduction for said career! Do things that you want to do and enjoy. Life is too short.

[@HeyMishkaTV]

Such a smart and honest video, love it. This mindset is why I went freelance right out of school, affording myself time to experiment and dabble in different hobbies, projects, specialties... I struggled sometimes but always found ways to make money and try new things. I cannot imagine committing to one thing when you're in your early 20s and riding it out. That's why the quarter and mid-life crises exist.

[@orangeblossom1712]

I'm a social worker and I feel like my identity is strongly linked to my career. I've realized in therapy that I'm not so much focused on finding happiness but more seeking meaning and purpose. Social work gives me meaning by uplifting others. I'm working on boundaries so I don't get burnt out!

[@xdshepard37]

Dear Elizabeth, yours is not a career but a calling. My your labor continue to bring healing to the broken hearted and my you find peace (meaning) in doing so.

[@dr.n1220]

Dear Elizabeth, I’ve resonated with every word you said.The fear of being judged and misunderstood doesn’t allow me to say this out loud to anyone in my life. Thank you for sharing. Much power to you.

[@iamjustsaying4787]

@Elizabeth Dean Great for you. But what about your children. Maybe they need your full attention.

[@ScholarMadDog]

I definitely resonate with this, Elizabeth. I practice chinese medicine and, like you, it's more about seeking meaning and purpose in helping relieve the suffering of others. I'm definitely getting burned out, though. I've had my own business for just over 10 years and I wish professions like ours could take a 6-12 month sabbatical every 10 years or so!

[@maureen9605]

as someone working as a nurse, the identity issue hits HARD. throughout school and at the beginning of my first job, I lived and breathed nursing. it was a huge source of pride and purpose for me, and this mindset was aggressively cultivated in school and at my job. I think healthcare, especially in the age of the pandemic, there's an insidious culture of guilt when you don't devote yourself completely to your job. don't you care about your patients? didn't you become a nurse to help people? I sure did! but not at the expense of my own enjoyment, well-being, and self-worth. at the end of the day, my job is just my job. I love what I do, but it is not who I am and it's SO liberating to finally feel this way after years of being told otherwise.

[@user-rz8vp1bd2y]

Wow so true!!!!! I’m about to start residency and the issue is so real.

[@evie9629]

Make sense!

[@Danielle-Mah]

I love and value that you’re a nurse! I also agree that is not the only thing that defines who you are but throughout the pandemic there are so many people who are grateful for you!

[@moon_mint]

THIS. Other nurses have given me so much hell for saying "a nurse isn't all that I am, there's a lot more to me" because it's universally believed that once you graduate nursing school, THAT is your core identity. SUPER unhealthy.

[@ameliawiseman1158]

I’m a student nurse and there’s so much pressure to live and breathe your job then just sleep and do nothing at home. I want to complete my nursing course I really love it. But I’m not sure wether I’ll do it for the rest of my life as as an autistic person it’s v hard for anxiety especially when some nurses and everything but I’d love to do another job along w bank nursing (so choosing my shifts whenever and doing another alongside , like my own business)

[@JonathanFrost]

Great video. Thanks for reminding us to make sure we are climbing the right mountain.

[@hiamandataylor]

LOVED this - just quit my marketing job to figure out my life's work and I loved your perspective, and appreciated you linking to more of this conversation

[@onlybonjour]

I feel like my generation is burning out and has put self-respect out the window for money and validation. It's terrible that the mindset for a fresh highschool graduate, is to hurry up and get a career and a fancy office job that they don't want for money. I hate that I even fall to that pressure (from my dad specifically). When family, and society put that pressure on you to "conform" to the work till you drop lifestyle;it's tiring. It takes away your desire to be yourself and to do things with passion. I know work has it's own sphere,but I believe that whatever your job is, at least get one that you want to do and that isn't attached to your self worth or validation. Work is not your life.

[@ItsLofty101]

@E. Cantu I mean, if you have another way to gain money, go for it.

[@Monaleenian]

@@DEADHOLT He probably thinks that his parents and grandparents were lazy slackers!

[@Michael-le5ph]

work does not define you but if you don't work you don't eat. find a job you like. if we all stop working and only do what makes us feel good, the country will implode. in fact, it's already happening.

[@Matt-zp1jn]

Yeah. Could be worse too if you do seek after money, attention, status/fame/pleasure and validation like selling yourself on OnlyFans, Camgirl, or to be a Porn “star”, in place of more fulfilling hobbies, career, family, children, travel, community volunteering, marriage etc.

[@NancyFoxTV]

This is such a powerful conversation. I’m a boomer (but still feel like a millennial :) - Every generation had pressure to go to work, make money - the difference was - it was formerly to pay bills, raise a family, not make millions and hit it big on KZbin. Millennials grew up with this kind of pressure since childhood - diff from the other generations AND the immense debt they are saddled with after college is also new. This is just too hard a way to start life and is definitely having an impact on mental health. However, what is the way to live your life, then? What is important? How do you live and thrive without money? If you don’t get a typical corporate job, what do you do? Live in your parents’ house til you’re 30 or older? I agree - there must be more to life than getting ahead. But nothing feels better than when you have money in the bank to see the world, go where you want, eat where you want etc. So it’s a big dilemma....

[@rozchristopherson648]

The "haves" are controlling the "have-nots." I'm 60. Seen it all. Just yesterday it seems I was 20 years old in college. Life goes by faster than you ever think it will at age 20. Find a way to separate from the treadmill.

[@JohnThePA]

Time is flying - never seems to be enough of it

[@Merknilash]

The "haves" have always controlled the "have-nots" The question is do you want to live in a society where being a "have not" means you're living in absolute squalor, like in every fucking communist regime ever tried, or do you want to live in a society where being a "have not" means you have a smartphone that you lazily browse while laying in bed in your air conditioned/heated room and whine about how bad capitalism is?

[@zeffery101]

Yeah, I am 21 and since last year, I am already mentality preparing myself for my 40s. Im thinking what I want to be doing and how to get there. Fuck my 20s, I could care less. Its waning, no point in trying to catch it.

[@rozchristopherson648]

@@zeffery101 I’m glad to hear it. When you are in your 40s, you’ll be happy you prepared for your 40s. Along the way to your 60s, begin to think about your retirement years and what you want to be doing then so you can prepare and have an enjoyable, full life during those years also. But make sure to enjoy and appreciate your youth as well. There’s a lot of time spent being old, but you’re only young for a short time. Blessings. 🙏

[@rozchristopherson648]

@@Merknilash Haves and have nots is not just about communism versus capitalism. A bad life is a bad life, regardless of where one lives. But there is always hope to change one’s life for the better. Changing one’s life starts from within the human spirit and heart.

[@jonimarie09]

I'm an RN and many of my fellow healthcare workers (not everyone) define themselves by their careers and measure themselves by how much stress and chaos they can handle. Afraid to admit the burnout or take time off because of internal guilt. I lost my sense self, I had no idea who I was or what my passions were. Until I set boundaries which have become extremely important for my mental, physical and spiritual well being. I recently saved up money and quit my job to take a much needed break to garden, hike, travel and catch up on the last 7 years of life that I spent just existing. I have no idea what will lies next but I'm so happy that you made this video.

[@rrene303]

Thank you so much for sharing. Currently a sophomore in college stuck in what I want to do. I’m in nursing for now but I want my life to be free where I have time to do what I want. I never enjoyed working or wanting to work. I just want to have time to enjoy life. I agree, we shouldn’t have to choose our “career” that we want to stick with for 40 years. You can’t expect me to be 20 years old to know what I want to do with the rest of my life.

[@blgirl911]

As someone from a marginalized background, I really struggle with this because growing up having a career and a 9-5 is literally the end goal and that target of success. I know someone below mentioned the notion of privilege and I think that's really what it comes down to.

[@djkoenig4716]

Yes, but if or possibly when you gain a skill, go to trade school or college & eventually have a career/job and if you keep slogging at that job/career & after all that... you realize you are no closer to being fulfilled, living a joyful life etc... then a real life-crisis is soon to follow for many people.

[@MsNinetydays]

@MSunshine I’m an immigrant myself. I’m from Indonesia. It’s really great that you personally find fulfillment in what you do, really, for real. That’s fantastic. But I think it’s a very naive takeaway of what is essentially a video of self reflection and understanding one’s needs in terms of living. Admittedly I’m in a crossroads right now so perhaps I’m biased. If you saw my resume you’d probably be really impressed by where I’ve worked. By the things I’ve accomplished. And I’m lucky enough to be intelligent in a way that’s valued by corporations. But you easily say “9 to 5” as if that’s really all work demands from us. Most of the time it’s not - especially in the US. Most of the time, it’s this constant dichotomy between how productive are you versus oh but yes, of course as a company we care about you. (Spoiler alert, they don’t) This KZbinr mentions throughout the video how she doesn’t fault anybody who truly does find fulfillment in what they do. And I completely agree with that. If that’s for you, you do you. But it’s a little naive to worship at the altar of labor because it’s “produced good”. The only reason we have weekends is because of workers’ unions. Any type of safety features that we have in any industry has usually been paid for by blood. Labor inherently doesn’t produce good. Labor is labor, and there just happens to be some good people in it. I know, in my personal experience, corporations do not do good because it’s in their interest lol. They do good for optics and what’s more profitable. Further, you do not need a constant culture of prioritizing work if things are actually done efficiently and profit is not always at the forefront. But if you do want to work, because you’re crazy passionate about it, cool, go for that. No one is stopping you. I think it’s just pretty disingenuous to say “oh this comes from a view of privilege” when you don’t take the reality of American work culture to heart. Privileged or not if you are worth your money to a company, and unless you’re incredibly lucky, they work you to the bone. Any industry. Any profession. You’re incredibly lucky to have the mental capacity to become a doctor, an engineer, a whatever that has the potential to really produce and enact positive change. However if you truly knew what people actually produced on the day to day for a typical company... would you really have the same tune? And once again, I want to reiterate my point that this youtuber and anybody else who shares my opinion doesn’t want to stop anybody else from working. There just has to be a stop at worshipping career success as the apex of a poor person’s happiness. I came from that background. I am successful. And personally, I’m not happy. And I actually have made friends doing the work I do. I am happy that these people are content and happy with being productive. Personally, I’m finding more and more that it’s not for me. And that’s completely okay. This youtuber can’t provide solid, workable solutions because how American labor is structured at this point simply doesn’t provide “a way out” per se. And frankly, it’s not her job to tell you what you need to do if you choose to quit the lifestyle. It’s a self reflection, it’s honest, and I don’t think it should be discounted because she “comes from privilege”. What do you know about what she’s been through anyway? From the content of the rest of the channel it looks like she worked really hard. Why should her opinions be discounted because you can’t understand how she feels? Another point I want to push is, CORPORATIONS WANT TO USE NARRATIVES LIKE YOURS. They want to say, “see? We’ve paved the way for a person like this immigrant to be successful.” When in reality the most powerful ones take advantage of our society the most lol. Don’t be so easily manipulated by the American Dream narrative. If you find fulfillment in what you do, amazing. But in American culture, that enjoyment you get from your labor will always be eclipsed by the fact that someone else is out there profiting off of your work for a proportion of money that you can’t even imagine or comprehend, and worse, will never see. Until you partake in the system and the cycle continues itself. This was long. I guess I’m just tired of the “I’m an immigrant so stop complaining” narrative. It’s frankly irritating and hollow especially when considering how deeply flawed the American work culture is.

[@tariromoyo348]

@@MsNinetydays Amazing comment !!

[@nicolea8205]

@MSunshine you’re the exception not the minority. You were lucky.

[@Stephaniacat]

@@MsNinetydays i completely agree with you. I was the first in my family to go to college. And i hate the idea of working 9-5 job. I hate that we have to work 5 days a week.

[@Griznant211]

I'd like to add: We all were told to go to college in high school and then at the age of 17 told to pick that career or else you wouldn't be somebody. And then what? Hope we don't wake up 20years later hoping we didn't just waste our life?

[@jaleesa00]

Let me tell you at 28 I feel dread ive picked the wrong career path. One I sought out at 17. People are ever changing dynamic human beings, who we are today is not who we were yesterday. I am facing the same dilemma at 28 as I did as a high school graduate. Who knows where this path may lead... Best 💐

[@kateaddi]

Hey, i remember watching your early college videos as an insanely productivity-centred over achieving high school senior. Now I'm a year out of college and feeling these exact same feelings and it's comforting to have company in you on this journey. Thanks for making this video :)

[@elizabethmesser2412]

I love the cottage fairy, such a great channel and I absolutely support your idea. I’ve been going through the same thought process and Im thankful someone else can agree with me! It’s actually relieving to know that other people feel the same as me. Great video!

[@Anna-hw3xj]

I needed this video. I have been an ICU nurse for almost three years. I have sacrificed weekends, I work nights, I have sacrificed holidays, been forced to pick up extra work days... I have been abused by patients, experienced lateral abuse in the workforce... But I kept telling myself: I need to be a nurse. I worked hard for this, I chose to sacrifice my life for others. Now, I am in a job that is a top pediatric hospital my “dream job” that forces me to work every other weekend, forced me on an extra weekend in June, working holidays, have to find my own coverage for weekend PTO, forced to pick up Sundays.... I finally realize that this isn’t the life for me. It’s scary because I don’t have debt anymore and bought a house but I would rather take the risk, change careers, and live a life for me that I can actually impact others. 💜 I haven’t been able to focus on the areas I love, the creativity I lack now. I work to sleep, to eat, to repeat...

[@conservativelatinausa9005]

Nurse here as well...l knoooow exactly how u feel!! I recommend u switch to a per diem or a home health.....we are pushed to work at these "fancy" hospitals and strive for mangerial positions etc.. and like it doesn't matter at the end.....it is so not worth it!! Don't feel bad or guilty...it is just a job. Your life outside of it matters

[@orangeblossom1712]

I relate to this so much as a social worker.

[@icecrystal3255]

I am also a nurse and I feel your pain.

[@Danielle-Mah]

I hope you and all the nurses know you are making a HUGE impact even on days you don’t feel like you are. You’re appreciated so much! However I also understand if you feel it’s not something that makes you feel fulfilled at the end of the day. I hope you can reach your dreams and find something you love, or find a deeper meaning within what you already do so you can keep going. We love you nurses!

[@abilea4081]

I'm about to finish nursing I'm an assistant nurse rn and thank you! I feel like the nature of nursing makes it even harder to admit you're not enjoying it because as nurses we're expected to be selfless and put patients before ourselves. I've finally decided I dont want to do hospital nursing when I'm done because the stress is already too much.

[@Apollyon.King.of.the.Locusts]

In the Nordic countries you are allowed to lead a lifestyle that doesn't center on your profession. Actually, in my home country Finland, it is usually considered rude to talk about your job, unless you are directly asked about it.

[@DaleCooper222]

:( i would like to live in countries like that, but I'm trying to survive in mine (literally)

[@Apollyon.King.of.the.Locusts]

@@DaleCooper222 Actually, now that I think more about our culture, there is an actual downside to this way of thinking. Namely, us Finns are usually extremely secretive about our salaries or how much we make money. Talking publicly about your pay grade is just something that you must not do in any circumstances, it is simply inappropriate (this is completely opposite to the American culture, of course). Even when asked directly, you would usually get just some vague answer, like "I'll get along nicely" or "it's according to the collective labor agreement". Of course, this would give the employers an unfair edge over the employees, because in Finland nobody in their right mind is comparing their earnings in fear of social repercussions, so an unscrupulous employer could basicly just screw you over, if left unchecked. Luckily, we have pretty comprehensive collective labor agreements in nearly every profession to stop employers taking advantage of the fact that nobody here tells anyone, how much they are actually making in their job. Without these nationwide agreements, there would be no way for an applicant to know, how much he/she is supposed to get paid and for what kind of labor and for what kind of qualifications, because we just wouldn't talk about it openly.

[@DaleCooper222]

@@Apollyon.King.of.the.Locusts mmm in Argentina people also don't talk too much about their earnings, probably because if they are well paid they feel they will be envy by others who don't (and others will become harsh to them) i use the glassdoor web for knowing what should i be paid for a job. But mostly our salaries are really low and the good job opportunities are running short. If you are not well paid mostly don't talk about how much because you feel ashamed... You only say "i don't get enough for living" me, for example i used to earn 315 usd at month and it's too low, and only talk about it with my closest friends.

[@Apollyon.King.of.the.Locusts]

@@DaleCooper222 Actually, it's the same here in Finland about the salaries - people are either afraid of that people will start hating them, if they earn more than their peers and also some people might be ashamed if they struggle financially. But the bigger problem, or should I say, one of our less than great national traits, is that we really envy what others have. Therefore, if you're well off, you'd better just shut up, before you lose all of your friends' respect. You can, of course, occasionally help others, that's okay, if you have the means to do so. Just don't rub it in their face, like most Americans seem to do from our perspective. Like for example, if you're giving to charities, you definitely must not do it in public, like Americans tend to do. It should be enough of a reward, that you get a tax cut for it (in the range of 850€-500000€ per fiscal year, applicable to both individuals and businesses alike).

[@Centorios]

​@@DaleCooper222 how old are you? answering in english because of the thread of the conversation. I also live in argentina but I haven't know anyone yet who refuses to share their salary numbers (im 21)

[@margie9026]

This is so RADICAL! You really got me thinking! I LOVE THIS!! I am much older than you and this so resonates with me!!