I Read The Most Misunderstood Philosopher in the World

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MUSIC:
'Underwater' and 'Click Synth Soft Bell Piano' by Nina Richards www.ninarichards.co.uk/
BIBLIOGRAPHY:
Sara Ahmed, The Cultural Politics of Emotion
Lily Alexandre, Fear of Trans Bodies
Lily Alexandre, The Feminist to Far-Right Pipeline
Fran Amery, “Protecting Children in ‘Gender Critical’ Rhetoric and Strategy: Regulating Childhood for Cisgender Outcomes,” in Journal of Diversity and Gender Studies
Mira Bellwether, F*****g Trans Women
Talia Mae Bettcher, “Evil Deceivers and Make-Believers,” in Hypatia
Haley Marie Brown, “The Forgotten Murders: Gendercide in the Twenty-First Century and the Destruction of the Transgender Body,” in Denial: The Final Stage of Genocide?
Shelley Budgeon, “Identity as an Embodied Event,” in Body & Society
Judith Butler, Excitable Speech
Judith Butler, Gender Trouble
Judith Butler, “Imitation and Gender Subordination”
Judith Butler, Precarious Life
Judith Butler, Who’s Afraid of Gender?
Judith Butler, “Performative Acts and Gender Constitution: An Essay in Phenomenology and Feminist Theory,” in Theatre Journal
Andrea Long Chu, “Freedom of Sex: The Moral Case for Letting trans Kids Change Their Bodies,” in The New Yorker
Caelen Conrad, “Gender Critical: Conversion Therapy”
Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex
Julia Dauksza et al., “Salve Maria, Or Millions Made in Poland,” in VSquare
Julia Dauksza et al., “The Golden Boys of Fatima,” in VSquare
Julia Dauksza et al., “The Golden Lion Roars from Cracow,” in VSquare
Petula Dvorak, “LGBTQ+ Teens Won A Grant for Their School. Adults Sent the Money Back.,” in The Washington Post
Michel Foucault, The History of Sexuality
Agnieszka Graff and Elzbieta Korolczuk, Anti-Gender Politics in the Populist Moment
Mauro Cabal Grinspan et al., “Exploring TERFnesses,” in Journal of Diversity and Gender Studies
Virginia Guitzel, “Notes from Brazil,” in Transgender Marxism
Sally Haslanger, “Feminism in Metaphysics,” in Resisting Reality
Claire C.A. House, “‘I’m Real, Not You’: Roles and Discourse of Trans Exclusionary Women’s and Feminist Movements in Anti-Gender and Right-Wing Populist Politics,” in Journal of Diversity and Gender Studies
Innuendo Studios, “Endnote 5: A Case Study in Digital Radicalisation”
Eleanor Janega, The Once and Future Sex
Julia Kristeva, "Woman Can Never Be Defined," trans. Marilyn A. August, in New French Feminism
Harry Lambert, “Rosie Duffield: “You Never Change Sex”,” in The New Statesman
Stephanie Mayer and Birgit Sauer, “‘Gender Ideology’ in Austria: Coalitions Around an Empty Signifier,” in Anti-Gender Campaigns in Europe
Michael Naas, “Comme si, comme ca,” in Derrida From Now On
Leah Owen, “Parasitically occupying bodies: Exploring toxifying securitization in antitrans and genocidal ideologies,” in Peace Review
Alison Rumfitt, Brainwyrms
Julia Serano, Sexed Up
Julia Serano, Whipping Girl
Shaun, J.K. Rowling’s New Friends
Shaun, Kelly Jay Keen and the Neo-Nazis
Shaun, Palestine
Laura J. Shepherd and Laura Sjoberg, “Trans-Bodies in/of War(s): Cisprivilege and Contemporary Security Strategy,” in Feminist Review
C. Riley Snorton, Black on Both Sides
Darin Tenev, “La Déconstruction en enfant: the Concept of Phantasm in the Work of Derrida”
Monique Wittig, “One is Not Born A Woman”
00:00 - 02:31 Introduction
02:31 - 04:10 "I'm You From the Future"
04:10 - 10:15 Judith Butler and Performativity
10:15 - 10:42 "Just listen to me!"
10:42 - 20:33 Biology & Social Constructs
20:33 - 36:52 "Politics in the future gets weird!"
36:52 - 55:29 the Anti-Gender Movement
55:29 - 57:08 "The personal is political"
57:08 - 1:04:37 What can we do?
1:04:37 - 1:15:08 This is what we can do.
#books #philosophy

[@PhilosophyTube]

If you'd like to see the full scene with me and Rhys without the video essay bits in between, it's on Nebula!

[@danifluffycat]

i want to subscribe Nebula to see ur xtra content, but do your videos also have subtitles in portuguese there? (im learning english yet... :/)

[@christiaanterveen4633]

... and it's awesome, as is the rest of this essay!

[@Arbie1112]

It's beautiful and I wish I could go back in time and talk to myself that way

[@ziphhy]

I don't know if it does but ​@@danifluffycat your English is great, keep it up!!

[@elizabethdavis1696]

Please consider doing a video on the lifeboat foundation and lifeboat ethics

[@Egg_thing]

Talking about an unnamed mysterious femboy streamer, only referred to by "F" and then immediately having Finn read a quote is a great bit

[@PhilosophyTube]

Hee hee hee

[@edwardwilson7459]

Me: F huh.... i bet its.... Finn: reads quote Me: HA knew it

[@tysonsflag]

@@PhilosophyTube A slight reference to Finn getting doxed?

[@MikeyG706]

When she jumped out and said “Let’s talk about Femboys” I was already hearing F1nn’s voice Thought I was losing my mind when they started doing the reading

[@biggieman532]

LITCH real ones immediatelyyy knew

[@benjamin77bunny]

Hello Abigail, I identify as a cis-white-male in the U.S. State of Oklahoma. I’m not sure if you’ve heard of it, but it is one of the more “conservative” U.S. states. You played a big part in breaking me out of my phantasm related to gender ideology just in time for me to be there to accept some of my best friends as they began to identify as trans. I just wanted to let you know that the brain wyrms aren’t terminal. Good work, and thank you.

[@crashh-course]

im so proud of you 🩷

[@IsakGerson]

s/o to you comrade bunny! good work

[@ryno07962]

I'm trans and currently living in Oklahoma. It's really really nice to read this comment

[@PhilosophyTube]

Hell yeah, I’m happy for you 🥹

[@jonathanthomas2171]

these are the kind of comments that help keep me going

[@Weendigo172]

"And this is a common mistake. We might even call it... A phallacy." And here I was expecting a cock-up.

[@cookie8162]

Well done

[@plushy9849]

Same.

[@samclark6465]

Hi Abigail, I'm trans and live in Salt Lake City, Utah, probably the most phantasm-y place you can find...outside the Vatican. I'm the musical director of a all-women, trans, non-binary brass band that uses our music to spread awareness, raise funds, and engage in activism to fight the anti-gender and anti-queer movement in our home. I'm sure you probably won't see this, internet comment sections being what they are, but I just want to put it out there that you inspire me. I would never have found the courage to come out, let alone join a band and become an activist without your videos. Thank you.

[@josieMayday]

also trans and in salt lake city here! 💕

[@chondrya942]

ayo a fellow utah trans person up in here. it really is phantasmy as hell here

[@justinmiranchyn7104]

Oh noo, I am going there this summer to for vacation/work to help my family with a convention. I know it doesn't make sense, but looking at the US from the outside as someone in Sweden has made me scared of Americans a little bit. Never have I ever met a confrontational person before, or anyone who could be threatening. I have been told by my father that Americans are some of the nicest people that he has ever met, but knowing this is a hotspot makes me nervous man...

[@poleahvan3004]

@@justinmiranchyn7104 It makes total sense to be scared. A lot of scary things have happened! But 99.9% of people you interact with here have enough decency to mind their own business. Even conservatives generally think people are weird if they make a scene over something "woke". And in big cities, even Salt Lake City, you're much more likely to find queer folk and allies. It's living with the legal uncertainty and long-term fear that's really bad, but for a visit it's pretty great! .... I know that's not exactly a glowing endorsement, and I can't promise you won't run into the 0.1% who act out, but with your family around you you'll be in the best position possible to enjoy the good parts and miss the bad.

[@samclark6465]

@@justinmiranchyn7104 You're going to be fine, especially if you're hanging out in the major cities. Most people here are great, and of those that aren't, they mind their own business and get on with their lives. The local government is who I have the biggest beef with--them and the more homophobic leaders of the Mormon Church. Collectively, they're trying really hard to make queer people feel unwelcome here. But there's a huge community of queer friendly people here too, and I think you'll enjoy your time here :)

[@dulcineaquinn]

"The truth is there is no sex" I know, I'm not having any

[@marcriba7581]

What if no sex is actually all those friends we didn't make in the way?

[@TreeHairedGingerAle]

😭😭😭 this is entirely too real

[@MarkSiefert]

A-boom-ching!

[@NightmareRex6]

and if your a male its 1000x harder females can get a date day-one on social media males cant unless 6 in 6 feet 6-7 figures! dont know any woman that love their man for there man instead the stupid FAKE money wallet rothschild reserve notes.

[@GustavoIto]

lol

[@tommysversionn]

It finally happened. She said “if you’re very clever you’ll know where this is going” and I DID

[@lauraschlieselhuber8487]

You deserve a treat, Friend. Be extra nice to yourself today.

[@PhilosophyTube]

Hahaaaa well done

[@pedroneto4145]

Me Toooo, aaaah

[@aidenmiles2027]

I get so excited when that happens, makes me feel like I'm 10 again and proud that I'm following an adult convo

[@tbretten]

​@@aidenmiles2027and I am 10 and just trying to follow along. But am trying

[@beangorl7005]

I love modern Philosophy Tube, but I find myself not watching right as it comes out, because these days there is so much thought, emotion, pain, and joy across the screen that I need to be in the right space at the right time to receive this information. The past three videos have made me cry in absolutely wonderful ways. Near the end of the video where Abby of the present and the past acknowledged the audience is when I finally cried on this one. Just the wave of pride for the journey of PhilosophyTube, the feeling of community thinking about everyone else who watched this too and the intangible connections between trans people, and seeing the past Abby character revel in a simple common joy, this is what I keep coming to this channel for. Beautiful, amazing art beyond measure and yet still entangled in acedemia that changes who I am and how I think every single day.

[@PhilosophyTube]

Awww, thank you so much!

[@steelplatedheart]

that's the part that made me cry too, I couldn't figure out why, but you've nailed it

[@baabaaer]

@@PhilosophyTube Your videos is like a kilo rendang ayam and the whole cylinder of lemang, there is too much to eat at one time. Some of your videos are two or three meal sizes even.

[@DavidCruickshank]

Yep it took me 3 weeks to be in the right headspace to fully consume the information in the video. Absolutely incredible work.

[@Dong_Harvey]

I couldn't imagine marathoning Philosophy Tube, I would die of emotional release.

[@justliving919]

My boyfriend sent me this video a couple days ago. We used to have heated debates about trans women and I didn’t even realize that I, a feminist, was practicing anti gender ideologies by insisting that trans women are not women. I thought that because he was a man he didn’t understand cis women struggles and was just jumping on the liberal bandwagon to appear progressive. I have been doing a bit of growing with the help of my boyfriend and there’s been so much to unpack and we hadn’t yet returned to this topic. I recently sort of cracked that men and women are performative genders but I was looking at strictly from the heterosexual sense. I never even thought to think about other genders. Thank you so much for taking the time to make this very informative video that has helped me realize my blind spots on this topic. I also thoroughly enjoyed the scene with your younger self (he looks a lot like the guy from Orange is the New Black). I appreciate the creativity and you have gained a new follower ❤️❤️

[@Broeckchen]

Hey! Welcome among those who listen! I am so glad that you are taking this step, and your existence gives many people lots of hope! I wish you the best on this journey! If I may give some further recommendations - Jessie Gender and Sophie from Mars are also great insightful KZbinrs whose works might be enjoyable to you!

[@justliving919]

@@Broeckchen Thank you! I will check them out ☺️

[@ShePudding]

Before you can grow, you need to understand that the soil you’ve been planted in is not perfect. Congrats on your growth ❤️

[@Bradley_Lute]

Trans women are not and never will be female. That is a very different thing with its own constraints and reality. But gender is not sex. Trans women are very much women and you can see that reflected in their brains. Their brains look more like a woman's than a man's. Gender is not a true binary. It is a bimodal distribution which is what you would get if you combined a binary with a spectrum. Gender is not strictly speaking a construct either though. It arose from sex in the first place and it is perfectly functional. But so is the range of gender identities!

[@ch3681]

You should watch a response to this video by a KZbinr called King Critical. This philosophy tube channel is very bad and dishonest and anti-intellectual.

[@maddie9602]

J.K. Rowling being told to touch grass and talk about _literally anything other than how much she hates trans people_ by _Elon Musk_ of all people will never stop being funny to me.

[@casteretpollux]

Elon Musk, right wing anti trade union trickster billionaire. Nice hero you've picker there.

[@maddie9602]

@casteretpollux "of all people". I suggest you practice your reading comprehension

[@CharlotteSWeb-oh7ou]

@@casteretpollux Says the right winger? You know we can all see your other comments? you literally pleaded with someone not to transition under this very video. You conservatives think you can just frame your views in progressive language and everyone will take it at face value.

[@gewreid5946]

@@CharlotteSWeb-oh7ou They might actually be genuine about not liking Musk for the right reasons AND STILL be an anti-trans bigot. Phantasms and stuff. Highly relevant to this video.

[@plazma0325]

Girl got told by satan himself to get a hobby, lmao

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

1:02:40 "The reason they don’t listen, is because they feel that listening is an act of submission." This is SO SO PROFOUND. Thank you!

[@Mahawww]

I mean... it kind of is. But Being a Switch is the only good way to be a human being. I've been saying this!

[@CuriousCrow-mp4cx]

It's even sadder that their world is defined by domination instead of collaboration. It's a fundamental self-serving misunderstanding. It doesn't have to be that way.

[@stevenredpath9332]

And they take someone understanding as a sign of agreeing. They exist in a very small world and want everyone else in their world.

[@kennethkho7165]

@@Mahawww i dispute this, being a switch might be good for you personally, but objectivity is the key, to rid of the subjectivity of i, you, he/she/they

[@Celebrian666]

This is what is so hard about socializing for me(auhdh) is that i ront see people as my superior or inferior, they're just other people. And conversation is collaborative, not competitive and/or performance of domination and subjugation.

[@marianav9655]

"the reason they don't listen is because they feel listening is an act of submission" 😭😭😭😭 SO ACCURATE.

[@trevorstewart1308]

I thought the homosexual lobby was where I hung out before the meeting

[@ChrisBouchard]

Was the meeting scheduled in the homosexual agenda?

[@trevorstewart1308]

@@ChrisBouchard yes, and last month's meeting was about how to take over the town of Gaylax and turn it into a spa

[@notoriousrrz]

I hope someone shows Judith Butler this. I was lucky enough to take a class with them back in 2006, and it was the best academic class I ever took in a grad program. There was this beautiful moment on their first day of lecture where they sighed and said, "Now this part . . . I'm still not sure what Walter Benjamin is saying here." You could almost hear a spell being broken. All of us had the same thought at the same time: if Judith Butler can admit to being confused, then there's no shame in it. The class was the only one I took where every question was a genuine question and not one designed to comment or argue or show off intelligence (although to show off a bit myself, there was one point in class where I said something and they said, "That's very important!" and I died of excitement). We all listened to one another and wondered and speculated together without self-consciousness. I think Butler would love not only the analysis in this video, but the spirit of compassion, the embrace of listening and change.

[@ryanlocke1117]

i mean abby got an early copy of the new book so maybe they will...? obviously judith themself didn't send abby the book tho, was probably just a cool pr person at the publisher

[@LiamWaterman-kt2db]

Engaging for the algorithm!

[@chrs-wltrs]

23:20 "We're not violent. I mean we're tall, but... So are giraffes. Bodies are just bodies." NGL, I burst into tears

[@faequeenapril6921]

Same those segments made me cry, because it reminds me of me in 2019 confronting the same anxieties and looking back on my journey

[@aaronmalay5497]

Cis male, and I hear, "Does it get better?" and now I'm sobbing. God I wish the answer was an unequivocal yes.

[@OmegaFire11]

Giraffes are pretty fucking violent, think she should've picked a nicer animal 💀 Alpacas or something

[@azailetta]

Hey, Abigail! I usually don't comment, but this video has absolutely brought me to tears, and I need to thank you, really. I am used to be... what is called "a terf". I was extremely transfobic because of severe sexual abuse and an abusive dad, and I was radicalised at a young age, just fresh out of my sexual trauma. In a way, my narcissistic dad made me really reluctant to be rude to people or exclude them aggressively, and I began to thaw with time as my friends started to come out as non-binary and trans. But your videos were a breaking point. I thought you were a "legit" woman, and watched, and listened, and when I found out you're trans I just... listened more. And more. And more. And now I advocate for trans people, and I celebrate them, for I know that the protection of trans rights is so important and actually a part of protecting women's rights. I finally feel as a good person, and I am kind to myself, which "radical feminism" forbade. And I am so thankful to you, and your videos, and the transformation you have gifted me. It's the greatest gift I have ever received. Public education works. You just give it a little bit of time and a support system. And as I continue to educate my other friends about trans people, I say a thank-you to you all the time. Thank you so much! And love from Ukraine ❤

[@artemisiakyrell7727]

Bless your heart & much love for the rest of your healing journey 💕

[@cas556]

Hi I was one of the first 800 to have gender affirming surgery in the US. I loved philosophy in college but drifted away from it as I delt with the challenges of my changing life. watching this video reminded me why I used to like it so much and hit the nail on the head of many of the social land mines I have dealt with in my 39 years as a woman of trans experience. Thank you it was a Brillant thing to watch.

[@Cosmosisification]

"Wittig suggested everyone become lesbians" Wittig- "What if we just all had sex with each other haha that would be so crazyyyy idk haha"

[@k80_]

That’s not even it though!! I know you’re joking but this is that “political lesbians” thing where women stop having sex with men and call it lesbianism. Which as a lesbian fucking sucks for so many reasons!!!!!

[@lysandroabelcher2592]

I think that statement of her It's like the saying that if you handle a hammer, then everything looks like nails to be hammered on.

[@hollandscottthomas]

The bonobo approach to conflict resolution.

[@aventurette]

girl invented an entire philosophy to say "jk unless"

[@Vera_Nova]

[mistake left for posterity; see @Jetsetlemming for correction] Ok I know she's talking about "political lesbianism" (iirc) but still bfbbfbcb

[@Empress-Sky-of-Brynn]

The whole "you can't change sex" argument as an intersex person is infuriating because you did that to me! I'm just undoing it, to be my true self, and you demand I stop because you can't imagine that people fall outside the binary and that we can try to undo the harm done to us as a child, or in a close enough way to be happy with our body finally

[@Nino-xp5df]

This comment made me tear up and happy at the same time. Yes, this: demanding to stop because they cannot imagine an existence beyond the binary. More power to you!

[@WhatIsSanity]

I was thinking this the whole time myself.

[@datteldiskussion4992]

Sorry about that surgery you were apparently given, but it certainly didn't change your sex. And you are now certainly not changing it back in any meaningful sense of the word.

[@Empress-Sky-of-Brynn]

@@datteldiskussion4992 I don't think you understand. It wasn't the surgery, it was them claiming I'm male when I'm not. The doctors put that on the birth certificate after the surgery "made reality reflect the paper". They can do it without my say, so why can't I? Now the paper matches reality, just not that there's many places I can go that will recognize my legal sex as neither male nor female.

[@datteldiskussion4992]

@@Empress-Sky-of-Brynn Unless you have XX/XY mosaicism, I don't see how you cannot be accurately classified as male or female. Towards the production of which out of two gametes did your organism develop? It doesn't matter that the development wasn't completed, you know.

[@sylviahoward1065]

Now that I've learned the concept of phantasms, its started to become difficult not to notice them almost everywhere I look

[@machinegods]

This video really touched me. I wish I could sit everyone I know down and make them watch it classroom-style, but an 1 hour video on a topic they might not want to even think to engage with is a huge ask, especially since I live in Eastern Europe, and almost no one I know irl speaks enough English to understand it. I'm nonbinary out here, and it gets really dark, and it hurts. You're bringing me some light. Sending every trans person reading this love. We will make it out of the darkness. I promise.

[@DinoDragon6]

best of luck out there, enby of the east.

[@MrAcuriteOf1337]

"Bigger than Star Wars" Oh my God, they're making her into a Pokemon.

[@doob195]

There is nothing bigger than Star Wars, I'm expecting them to announce that she's ascended to divinity or something.

[@StarPichu12]

@@doob195 to 100% be that nerd, winnie the pooh and mickey mouse are both above starwars in gross sales, with pokemon being on top soooooo, Abigail has 3 more bosses to defeat before ascending to goddess XD

[@AeonHero64]

Came here to say the same thing lol

[@EmaAgafitei]

House of the Dragon, actually

[@Astra7525]

I'm thinking maybe Lord of the Rings is bigger than Star Wars.

[@Lefthandedbanana]

I thought it was interesting that Abby and Rhys switch between using ‘you’ ‘I’ and ‘we’ depending on the context during the dialog

[@PhilosophyTube]

I’m glad you noticed, haha! :P

[@foxfoxelliott]

A pronoun lesson for us all!

[@Enbyous1313]

The argument with yourself broke something in me. I ugly cried… And now I’m on the Seattle voice lab wait list… and I’m seeing the doctor next week. Life IS too short everybody, be kind to yourselves

[@alackofgames913]

I think the man who was never there is just mad that you're in Star Wars, and he isn't, which is funny considering he always exits by disappearing into the Force. (Also, turning off your voice is a super funny party trick)

[@tbretten]

Cis-male chemistry and physics nerd here, who has always believed the naturalised "sex is biology, gender is sociology" dichotomy to be reasonable and factual. The historical analogy to 'race' really got me thinking. Its not like I had a life changing epiphany, but I think the points raised will brew in the background and will in time change my worldview. Many, many thanks for that

[@lizzy8542]

trans/non-binary person here- i’ve been diving into judith butler’s work for the last 6 months or so and have been exploring many of these ideas myself. i’m so incredibly pleased about this video and happy to hear how many people are considering these topics in a way they haven’t before 😊

[@theblackrose3130]

You're gonna have a great time / epiphany when you realise this applies to a great deal of pathologised mental "disorders" as well (see hysteria)

[@delarkaBCN]

@@theblackrose3130 go back to the 60's. we know what you want to imply and its sad you dont have the balls to be bigoted. gtfo

[@donnievance1942]

Biological sex can be seen as the illusory category that it is when one realizes that it doesn't even have an agreed definition. Does it refer to chromosomal sex? Does it refer to morphological body type? There are people who are XXY. There are people who are XYY. There are people who are chromosomally "normal" but foetally develop as intersex body types with genitalia that are a sort of combination of the two sexes. More than 1% of the population belong in that category. There are also people who are chromosomally XY (male) but develop as "normal" appearing women-- sometimes as markedly beautiful women, even. Such cases apparently result from a genetic characteristic that leaves their chemical androgen receptors inoperative. There are some YT videos of these women talking about themselves. I apologize for not taking notes so that I can give you a link. It's quite startling to watch a video of a prominently beautiful and "feminine" woman talking about herself and then having her inform you that she is an XY genetic male and only learned that fact after she was an adult trying to figure out why she couldn't get pregnant. A video like that will rearrange one's thinking about the idea that sex is a dichotomous "biological fact." Such a person isn't "trans." They were identified as female at birth and grew up that way, never questioning their gender identity or wishing to change it. They are morphological women. They are chromosomal men. They are self-identified as women by gender. Probably most of them have no idea that they are genetically male. What is their "sex"? What is the sex of persons that have both a body type and a chromosomal profile of one sex, but physical brain characteristics that are more typical of the opposite sex? This last condition may be typical of trans people. We don't know what causes that. But we know it's biologically real. We also know that there is evidence that sexual orientation may be genetically linked, and that the preservation of homosexual orientations in a population may be an evolved adaptive characteristic in those populations-- an evolved characteristic whose function is to provide an array of personality types among the population members that gives social groups flexibility in behavioral responses to changing environmental conditions. There is an hypothesis in evolutionary theory that the whole range of variation across sex, sexual orientation, and gender identity may be an evolved, adaptive population feature that provides behavioral flexibility to social groups of the human species. It provides a spectrum of personality types to fulfil a wide range of social roles. We know that around the world and through time there have been many cultures across the spectrum of technological development that have recognized this variability as natural and desirable and have provided ritually recognized social roles for some of the more prevalent variations. It may be that what is unnatural and maladaptive is Western culture's pathological impulse to force this variation into a rigid scheme of two fixed and narrow categories.

[@user-qk8lm3se7q]

there's a recent video by Alexander avila about gender ideology where he goes in into the history of sex and gender which was really illuminated, i think you'll really like it. it helped me to understand that sex is actually a social construct as well as gender, it was brilliant

[@LavenderGooms]

Regarding "it's gonna fuck up our love life"- it's difficult to overstate just how attractive a feature happiness is to most people.

[@Trashley652]

Also, just, you know... trans women are wild.

[@Selestrielle]

And also a great skincare routine.

[@Tori4Real]

I have been in a constant state of what I refer to as "being unreasonably happy" since I began HRT a year ago. I did not know it was possible for a person to be this happy, constantly.

[@moresnqp]

​@@Tori4Real this is trans joy. we bottle it up so much, so when we come out and make the changes we want, we need to do zoomies

[@klaracantaim]

also not being a man is pretty attractive to women

[@tomaindow]

I doubt you'll see this, but thank you for the video. I have been here a long time, and I'm ashamed to admit that at the time of your transition I selfishly felt annoyed and frustrated, as if for some reason I was losing something as you changed. I think at the time, for whatever reason, it was important for me to have examples of masculine role models that were still intelligent, kind and caring, and your transition disrupted that. But coming on this journey with you, well, it has been part of a fundamental shift in myself and in how I understand the world and everyone in it. When you said "I brought them with me" I was reduced to tears. When you looked back at your past self, and said "I love you", I also saw my past self sitting there, as your viewer, and came a little closer to being at peace with who I once was. Thank you for this moment, and for continuing to do what you do.

[@johnsenior478]

First time here via FD Signifier. WOW! Incredibly deep, cleverly explained and wonderfully put together.. and moving..really moving. I will be back.

[@Turnoutburndown]

It's so wild to see Philosophy Tube just keep getting better and better and better. It really makes you feel like you are part of something. Like "I was there during those legendary years of Philosophy Tube!"

[@anarchisttechsupport6644]

"I didn't feel entitled to be there" is such a painful regret. That hits hard.

[@tirushone6446]

This is why I personally live by the attage (that I made up) "gender/race/sex/sexuality ect is just dumb and made up.". It doesn't matter weather that's true or not, but it helps you meet people where they are at as human beings and in situations like the one you discribe, it helps you realise that it's not "wemon protesting the wrongful death of an other of their kind." but it's "people protesting the wrongful death of someone who is not unlike them, and not unlike you."

[@sarahndipity9649]

"They think that listening is an act of submission." You just blew my mind and explained my failed marriage.

[@someonesomeone25]

It's a powerful statement. And I think it's an easy trap to fall into. Maybe it stems from fear? I know myself I've sometimes been scared to listen to someone because I'm worried it might reveal the weakness of my own position. Certainly I think this applies in religious contexts. I think it's very hard to live with all one's beliefs held so tentatively you are genuinely open to change, and also be so critically minded one is always open to engaging with new and other information and opinions. It's hard to live in a cognitive limbo, never really being confident in anything, always changing, always challenging even your most deeply held security blanket beliefs. The chaos of having no certainties and expecting to be radically different in the future is scary indeed.

[@5driedgrams]

Well... it isn't? The person who talks has the power to talk and make you listen to. Try to argue with a robber, he will not listen to you because he has the power to use violence instead of submitting to argumentation.

[@darkstarr984]

It’s mind boggling to me that people could be so against being “feminine” that they think listening, an absolute necessity for *effective leadership* (which is considered “masculine”) is something they shouldn’t do. But I’ve just always tried my utmost to grab onto the best of everything I encounter and try to fit that into me, since that’s what I’ve considered the way to be the best human possible for 22 years.

[@CharlotteSWeb-oh7ou]

@@5driedgrams That's literally a ludicrous irrelevant scenario to construct a strawman around, but okay.

[@fedweezy4976]

​@@5driedgramsexcept this isn't a conflict, there is not one group of people that has to suffer for the other group to thrive. Listening is how we help one another, and this situation is not comparable to being robbed.

[@JoshuaBennettMusic]

"I brought them with me." DAMNIT, ABIGAIL, I come here to THINK, not to CRY. 😭😂🥰

[@glenmorganshaw9961]

Hey Abigail. As a cis guy who was at Clapham common that day, and who stood shoulder to shoulder with sisters uncut on some hard days after that. I think you and i both learned some things about where we fit in. As someone who went from being a big shot who could fix loads of protest issues by being a tall white guy whos good at yelling i learned a hell of a lot about shutting the hell up and how helpful that can be too. And the reason i know that is wonderful women like you were patient, and loving and showed me kindness when you were under the foot of some terrible people. When you were kind when you had every right not to be. So i dunno what the point of this is i kinda lost my train of thought. But just thank you, and thank you to everyone whos out there trying to fight the good fight. And thank you for reminding me of something thay was awful, but it made me a better man.

[@sayven]

"If a tree falls in a forest and nobody's around to hear it, it has no pronouns" Nice throwback, the question is finally answered!

[@lysandroabelcher2592]

I really loved that one also.

[@facepalmjesus1608]

if eyes do not exist...does light exist?

[@nom...]

Where's that one from? I know I've heard it before, but I can't recall the specific video it's from.

[@xBetterChoice]

@@facepalmjesus1608 if eyes do not exist, light has no pronouns

[@airplanes_aren.t_real]

​@@facepalmjesus1608 yes although it'd probably take millions of years for us to figure it out it's there

[@rugrugrugrug]

As a cis man the idea that my genitalia or general physical form is inherently threatening in some sense has always been something i hated, i can’t imagine how much worse that notion would probably affect a trans woman.

[@User-pw3pu]

Honestly, it seems wild to me too. I have learned to live with it, as it often is also applicable to groups I'm in, like the Marines. But I would love to hear the recent discourse that seems very man vs woman (The bear question) through the lens of someone who has transitioned. One of my old Sgts transitioned a few years ago. She's always been and stayed in shape and does BJJ. Still more skilled and capable of physical violence than a great number of people. It's just not something I care enough about to ring up an old colleague and ask about. It is interesting though.

[@tymera]

We can fight this bullshit together brother :),

[@tymera]

​@@User-pw3puI could answer this question I think. I am transgender myself. And I think I would pick a bear. I think a lot of people know the reasoning behind this and so I won't rehash that. But I think that a lot of men are threatened by the question because they are. Agitated by the idea that people could see them as threatening. It's never all men but too often. The killer is inside the house.

[@rugrugrugrug]

@@tymera the way i rationalise it is that not all men do the bad things, but all women have to worry that any man might, and many have had their trust broken by somebody who seemed innocuous. so like when you're living in that world, living as though it were all men who would do bad things is a necessary precaution. obviously that's just me looking from the outside in though.

[@SarastistheSerpent]

Exactly. There is nothing inherently violent or threatening about a p*nis. It is not a weapon or a dangerous substance. It’s just a body part. It’s no more threatening than an arm, a leg or a head. Sure, it can be used to harm someone else, but so can an arm, or a leg, or a head. Yet we don’t consider those body parts as a threat.

[@TheOneEyedSpaceChimp]

"I hope to grow old" that hit me hard

[@AsAmsterdam]

This video is so rich. You’re pulling at threads of questions I’ve had balled up for a long time. I really appreciate you making this.

[@blairbabylon8504]

“An IMAX-level act of projection” OMG what a PERFECT phrase.

[@DianaAmericaRivero]

It always amazes me how many so-called feminists forget that one of the main tenets of the movement is, "Person first, woman second." Protection was never the point. The point is recognition, personal autonomy, and equal opportunity. Defining "woman" is a step backwards because, by definition, a lot of us were doing things that went against what people at the time considered "normal" for women. For instance, it wasn't "normal" for a woman to have intellectual pursuits. It wasn't "normal" for a woman to have a job outside of keeping house and raising children. It wasn't "normal" for women to have ambition. If you place borders around what a woman is or is supposed to be, then you limit what women can do.

[@MaticTheProto]

Also wasn’t normal for them to wear pants

[@johannsebastianbach3411]

@@ville__ don't translate நீ உன் சாபத்தை திரும்பப் பெறவில்லை என்றால், சில மணிநேரங்களில் ஒரு உயரமான மனிதர் உங்கள் படுக்கையறையில் தோன்றி உங்களை கழுத்தை நெரித்து கொன்றுவிடுவார்

[@marianatheschizoid5912]

Defining womanhood around reproduction is the most objectifying thing ever. Essentially defining us by the root of all our inequality. I think the reason conservatives hate trans people so much, especially trans women, is because the very idea of gender being performative challenges the notion of “natural” Patriarchy. It means women are no longer defined as baby-makers and men are no longer defined as providers/protectors that own us. It exposes how arbitrary it is.

[@christiangreff5764]

I mean, conservatives maybe mean that as 'body type based' and we could certainly try to make a kind of 'physical category definition'. Biology would kick our butts all the way to the moon and back and laugh at our tears as we despair about all the weird little in between steps, exceptions and edgecases it holds in store for us but we could TRY ...

[@MinesAGuinness]

Certain people who take up positions of authority within social movements tend to enjoy the power and adulation which come with that status, and fear its loss. They tend to deem anything which might threaten that position as dangerous and begin to rationalise that it must be antithetical to the philosophical basis of their own cause. This can sometimes include circumstances in which some of their own calls for action have been achieved, because it can begin to undermine the necessity for their continued leadership in the manner to which they have become accustomed. It can certainly occur when others question the tenets upon which their definition of their struggle is established.

[@lucykinsman32]

When I was learning about this in uni I was confused as to why it was controversial. As an autistic person I had to learn how “be a girl”. I always saw it as something to perform as I did not have these feminine qualities inherently

[@Bradley_Lute]

But you weren't performing your gender, you were expressing it. You don't have to ask yourself to be anything. You just are. Society tries to make two easily defined boxes that already exist but are less easily definable. That's all. So gender isn't only performance, it's a mix of that and expression. And it certainly isn't imposed on women by men as Abigail seems to be suggesting.

[@TryinaD]

@@Bradley_Lutenah lmao, as an autistic person I easily put my gender and the performance of it as separate boxes that don’t interfere with each other within me, and Abigail is right with men enforcing the performance of gender for women because they end up being the ones who say we dress for them, enforce rules at school or the workplace for certain presentations etc

[@Bradley_Lute]

@TryinaD women also enforce the gender of men and women enforce the gender of women and men enforce the gender of men. It isn't just a 'top down' process. It goes all ways.

[@TryinaD]

@@Bradley_Lute the reason why it’s like that is because of the well known phenomenon of women perpetuating patriarchal standards lol

[@Bradley_Lute]

@TryinaD the patriarchy is not purely a 'top down' process of men 'subjugating' women. Women actively act in a way that is true to our biology as a species. Of course many men and women reject patriarchal notions and that is well and good. But we a male perpetrated patriarchy is a myth

[@alexandramuck1352]

Currently experiencing this video without sound bc it's late and I can't be asked to get my headphones and wanna say KUDOS BIG TIME for accessibility measures and excellent captions because it's such a well organized visual experience. I've always experienced your content with sound before and this is ALSO GREAT--maybe even better just for how my brain is processing it, which is kind of weird but also delightful. So thank you for the efforts you put in to make videos so available to different types of people.

[@user-qs2by5if5r]

As a woman who at different points had real, prickly black, facial hair, produced milk when not pregnant, didnt have periods for long stretches, and more due to a benign lump in my brain which more commonly happens to men... Our definitions of sex and sex features can deny lived realites

[@HeortirtheWoodwarden]

How? Women can be hairy, just less on average than men. Producing milk is a very womanly feature, I have to say, and having any period at any point is an indication you're a woman. Having a brain tumor doesn't change your sex.

[@HeortirtheWoodwarden]

How? Women can be hairy, just less than men on average. Producing milk is a female trait. Having periods at all is exclusively a female trait, and having a brain tumor affect that doesn't change your sex definition.

[@casteretpollux]

Do you see the logical flaws in that ?

[@darkstarr984]

This! Sex isn’t even properly described as a bimodal distribution, it’s an enormous set of characteristics that usually, but *never exclusively* correlate in two regions when mapped in a multidimensional space!

[@HeortirtheWoodwarden]

@@darkstarr984 You either have a present, active and functional SRY gene or you don't. Any characteristics beyond that are irrelevant. You people just try to overcomplicate fundamental human concepts to demoralize and "deconstruct" civilization.

[@MeTheOneth]

"The Oxford English Dictionary says" might be my favorite recurring bit on PT.

[@nessa-parmentier]

same And in this case there were definitely no words needed, just the horrors

[@emmareadsbooks9631]

it reminds me of my theory of knowledge teacher, every time one one in my class tried to use a dictionary he would shake his head at us

[@RQLexi]

@@emmareadsbooks9631 Ah, the dictionary. Everyone’s favourite Way of Knowing 😛

[@SecularMentat]

The deeper I discuss many topics, I find that the dictionary might as well be written in crayon to placate the people who don't want anything more than a cursory understanding. I feel that 'horrors lie within' feel with 'Oxford English Dictionary'.

[@gwenrees7594]

Awesome video, thank you. I was worried Butler would be too dry/complicated for me but you did a great job presenting their arguments in a digestible and meaningful way.

[@EmjayKuppinger]

Beautiful work, so well-expressed! And congratulations on all your new opportunities 😊

[@PhilosophyTube]

Thank you so much!

[@deldarel]

"the reason they don't listen is because they feel listening is an act of submission" is the best explanation of Posie Parker I've ever heard

[@badger1296]

Being from the US, I had the Wikipedia Posie Parker to understand your comment. 🤣

[@kiorde]

As was explained in the video, saying something is at the same time acting something. So we're not just discussing genders, we're acting genders! Stop complaining that noone listens. When you take action the only appropriate response is another action. We're past word, unfortunately.

[@paulj.l.9696]

​@kiorde so you're saying we should start shooting terfs?

[@ivoryas1696]

​@@kiorde Past word? Most people who state their opinions seem to _barely_ read on what it is they're talking about, at least not compared to how much they *_could_* be reading and writing and thinking and discussing. We're only past word for those who have either been traumatized to not believe in reasoning or are so thoroughly situated in their beliefs that they don't discuss in a way that implies they'll ever change. Those are two, often fairly valid, perspectives but it _doesn't _*_necessarily_* apply to most people and _certainly _*_isn't_* something we should simply accept.

[@kiorde]

​@@ivoryas1696 the talk is happening about a very sensitive stuff and it's very much okay to have opinion about it even if you haven't read sufficient amount of books. Experts (those who did read and think about stuff) shouldn't be trusted - they want to make all the choices for you, but it's ultimately you who's gonna live your life.

[@Cristal3]

I was born with a muscle illness, slowly changing my body, becoming more and more disabled over time. What this did to me, was pull me out of some phantasms, as believing became a contradiction to my experiences in life. The people who saw this happen, joined me on my journey. I educated myself on the disability rights movement and talked about it to the people around me. The ones close to me became allies and some conservative relatives became a lot more progressive. I think that compassion and love are powerful forces that can destroy phantasms. So sharing our experiences to our loved ones, is the way to change society.

[@saraa.4295]

I wish you all the best health wise! And i also agree with your point, the way to break out of phantasms is via the heart, not the brain...so if someone you care for (or you yourself) contradicts the assumptions your phantasm is built on, it might shatter...which is why, i think civil rights movement often seem to hardly progress at all for a certain time, then face terrible backlash, but then, if they cross a certain point, it can snowball to acceptance really fast, because once visibility is grand enough, so that most ppl have one (insert minority fighting for rights here) close friend, child, partner or whatever, their barriers might break through .. Which i think the opponents know. So they fight rrally hard to keep the segregation and the closets tight...so for those living through that part of a movement ...it really sucks!

[@user-bq7fl1en8x]

Thanks for sharing this. We need to keep seeing the hopeful things in life, so sharing such hope giving acts is really important.

[@zeppie_]

That's why the last scene of this video really hit me. In a video about systemic issues and hate groups, you might expect her hopes for the future to be about a better society. But it's not. It's about what she wants to experience, and who she wants to be. She stops being a activist or philosopher or educator, and in a beautiful moment, becomes a person. Who deserves empathy just we all deserve.

[@grif0716]

@@saraa.4295 The UMC voted this week to give LGBTQ people full membership, access to all sacraments, and entrance to the clergy. They only lost 25% of member churches. There has been movement in the more conservative conservative congregations even if they could not endorse full acceptance.

[@AussieGriffin]

I'm not going to lie, in a video like this, I expected worse. A.G.

[@benlap1977]

Okay, we REALLY need to find ways to fight phantasms.

[@AmeliaBadeliaForever]

I've put off watching this when I saw you interview yourself I knew would be difficult to watch. Thank you for the cathartic cry, it's hard to be kind to yourself sometimes. Your coming out play catalyzed the final crack in my egg, I'm so proud of how far I've come. I'm also proud of how far you've come, all the people you've helped showing up.

[@icaroviana3205]

"I think it is really sad when people refuse their own complexity" hit hard here.

[@TreeHairedGingerAle]

Conservatives of all stripes really stay throwing away their own selfhood, their own authenticity and potentials and joys; for the chance to hate as a 'tonic' to soothe their insecurities; and, as miserable as my life makes me, I can't imagine a greater misery than theirs. Their very humanity is forfeit and they think they're doing themselves a favor in it! 🤦🏾‍♀️ What can even be said?

[@Kas_Styles]

Ya very true

[@kiorde]

Some parts of self must be refused if you want to have a community

[@crashh-course]

true, it really hurts when trans people can't accept themselves and struggle in denial. that's what you mean, right? surely you wouldn't be so stupid as to be transphobic. @@jacoboc2244

[@gwen9939]

@@kiorde but being a complex human being with the capacity to grow and change should never be one of them.

[@user-fy4uv9wb7o]

My favorite new thing is Abby popping menacingly out of doorways to tell me philosophy things

[@brongulus2617]

Doorways. She didn't pop menacingly out of *a* doorway, she - specifically - popped menacingly out of a women's bathroom doorway. Each time.

[@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721]

Everyone should have _that one friend_ in their life, y'know?

[@Sloth21]

1:05:18 I literally started crying. I haven’t been with the channel for a long time or anything, just recently discovered it. But this is so sweet

[@IAmNumber4000]

Some people, like narcissists, live their entire lives in phantasms. They DO NOT hear or perceive anything they don't want to. It's scary to watch.

[@jordanray1537]

"The only people that don't change are the dead" is the motto I live by now

[@harrietdekok1601]

came here to say this. big ooof

[@cedricburkhart3738]

What if I don't want to change?

[@Robiness]

I would argue that dead change too but you know.. not the point

[@TheOakleysworld]

@philosophytube Did you get this quote from somewhere? Its beautiful. The way you said it, and the context. Its a lovely idea.

[@Aquatarkus96]

​@@cedricburkhart3738Honey, everyone changes in some way as time goes on.

[@squid9882]

"I brought them with me" that was the most beautiful and emotional parasocial moment I've ever had. You're brilliant and I'm so glad to be able to see your journey.

[@ivoryas1696]

@squid9882 I'm not even a sub, _nor_ am I someone who watched this channel more than once or twice before about 2021, and yet... I felt the emotion behind it. 🤧

[@thornkirinsdottir9032]

This scene made me weep so hard. And I chuckled about the parasocial feelings I felt

[@avatarofku]

It is so refreshing to see not just a summary of the discourse but an exploring of how it connects to a wider system, this was fantastic brain food (and I sobbed throughout the last half of this, there were so many things I needed to hear. The whole scene of you talking to yourself was just beautiful, 'i bought them with me' a stunning 4th wall break and 'They feel that listening is an act of submission' hit hard. It finally answered the question I've spent years confused about. Thank you!

[@PixxieHaxx]

Dear Abi, your conversation with past & present you moved me to tears, not just when I watched it but when I had friends and family watch it on nebula. You are inspiring, your work is beyond thought provoking, which led me to asking the folks at Wisecrack why they'd not done a collaboration with you as they're also a philosophy oriented channel. Whether or not you'd be interested in such a thing, I thought you should know I was responded to by the channel writ large, simply saying how amazing you and your work are. You bring much light and understanding to those who might otherwise not have access & your contemporaries hold you in the highest esteem. I just wanted to say thank you. ❤

[@MAHLAZOR100]

I love how you've managed to make this opening premise of a lack of performance into its own kind of performance

[@PhilosophyTube]

Hee hee hee, you spotted what I was up to!

[@Iknowwereyousleep289]

@@PhilosophyTube I’m a type of biologist that specializes basically in “brain worms” that book you discussed is exactly my situation. I have a lot of useful information about combating bias and it’s evolutionary origins I’ve been writing a paper about this topic and it’s been killing me because I felt so isolated where can I share this information.

[@Gravastars1]

"Performative" becoming one of the most widely misused words on the internet has to be one of the most irritating symptoms of people's casual (lack of) awareness of theorists like Butler.

[@z1tkvn]

​@@LordRykard9376Just because you can't read it, it doesn't mean it is unreadable. Just because you don't understand it, it doesn't mean that it is nonsense.

[@michimatsch5862]

​@@LordRykard9376 that's a lot of words to say "I don't get it."

[@beadymore]

​@@LordRykard9376bruh you are an elden ring fan with an anime pfp 😂

[@RQLexi]

@@LordRykard9376 I feel like the other comments here are taking you at face value, but if it's intentional, the way you lean into the topic of the video by suggesting that Butler is simultaneously unreadable, and - once deciphered - nonsense, is actually really funny XD I'm not 100% sure whether it is intentional or not, but it is a genuinely good practical example of how phantasms are defended through contradictory claims that defend not against specific arguments of queer theory, but against the basic notion of holding consistent beliefs ^^

[@taiwanisacountry]

​@@LordRykard9376I mean you are just completely wrong. Yeah Butler is a bit hard to understand, but if you actually try them it is really not that hard. Queer theory is a very valuable toolkit within modern sociology generally. It was from Queer theory we got many modern theories of how to understand our societies and how culture affects our societies. 😅 So you are just wrong.

[@Oh_geo_geo]

Another wonderful and informative video. Your videos have brought so many opportunities for thought and consideration into my life. I've been watching you for years and have grown during this time, partially thanks to you. Sidenote: I doubt you'll read this comment and that's okay, but the moment when your 'younger self' said "I'm scared-" and it cut to you... I felt so connected to what was happening; your facial expression was so beautiful, empathetic, and full of pain for them and full of compassion for them. It nearly brought me to tears. It appeared so genuine. I don't know how you shot the conversation with yourself, but that moment is so powerful.

[@LittleBitVic]

Damn it, the "I brought them along" and the hugging and self-love... Fuck you for making me cry, and thank you.

[@ganymedemlem6119]

UK: *author writes book about brain worms making politicians raving bigots* US: RFK

[@SarastistheSerpent]

I was about to say that lol

[@colindunnigan8621]

Nom, nom, nom...

[@richardcrosswicks7058]

His brain was too toxic for the parasitic worms!

[@user-mb9np6sh7u]

Poor worms starved to death

[@TheOGFamilyToy]

Hey, parasites are an addressable issue that harm millions of people who can't afford treatment or prevention. Plus, brain worms and mental illness aren't responsible for that that man being a dangerous lunatic.

[@RubberDuckKid]

I collapsed in laughter at "let's talk about femboys!"

[@Hakasedess]

100% that's gonna be a popular gif

[@DAFLIDMAN]

I burst out laughing so hard, excellent moment

[@beowulfandstuff5547]

Best jump scare ever!

[@jaquelinecolibet]

let's talk about 9/11 AND DICKS

[@tubian323]

Oh yes let's!

[@tomekd789]

Thank you _so_ much for the lecture! It also gave me tools for my own Great Synthesis with Buddhism. It puts the form of a question: _What kind of suffering is the cause of your phantasm(s)?_

[@xtnabcn]

This is such a deep way of engaging with philosophy, including affect and real life examples. I have read the books that you deal with and you somehow make them so easy to understand as a casual dialogue between different thinkers, as part of daily experience. I have been following this channel almost since the beginning. I remember when you were not sure if you would continue, and I am so glad you did. This way of doing philosophy is just the best.

[@AccaLarentia90]

As a 6’3 cis woman whose experiences in life have been very much impacted by her height the line about your height hit hard. Because all the transphobic talking points about tall, big handed, large trans women actually being men are disheartening to listen to.

[@cedricburkhart3738]

I'm small only 5 ft 7 ft tall and about 140 lb. I feel like I'm scary or someone kinda of threat when I interact with other people. Why? Because I'm a man. I feel that I'm dangerous even though I have no intention of harming anyone in foreseen circumstances.

[@Child_of_the_Void]

Only tangentially related, but my mom mostly follows local politics (she is a leftist activist but she doesn't know much about politics that aren't actively fought over in our country) and I'm a trans woman. At some point she said something about it being easy for me to cut an onion a certain way because of my big hands and I just lost it laughing my ass off. She was super confused. She never heard the talking point about trans women and our giant man-hands, but with me following international transphobic rhetoric very closely, I couldn't not make the connection

[@queenvagabond8787]

@@cedricburkhart3738 This reassures me so much that on some fundamental level, I never really understood myself as a 'man,' even pre-transition. I never really felt like I was dangerous or a threat, the opposite in fact. And perhaps that radiated through my self-image, because most of my friends were other women, even then.

[@cedricburkhart3738]

@@queenvagabond8787 Well I don't know why I feel the way I do. Maybe because I'm self-conscious. I would love to live in a world where it was safe to let children play with strangers. I ges I just feel like I'm scary. My presence actually would make any random child safer since I would try to help if they were in danger. There is a chance that your brain was prenatally feminized due to a lack of androgens.

[@cedricburkhart3738]

@@queenvagabond8787 I was called feminine once I was confused and upset. I capped trying to figure out how I could avoid being called that in the future.

[@joerenzullo4257]

The scene with Rhys was so powerful. It made me cry, twice. Just the framing of talking to your past self as you are now, telling that person you used to be that you love them, though you're not them. And having them be able to see you as you are now and love that, too. I think most people can relate to the power in that, but it is perhaps especially resonant for queer people.

[@bobnine]

It felt too real to me, I had to fast forward it because it felt like too much for my morning coffee 😅(the downsides of watching videos as they're recently released with a 12hr time zone difference). Maybe I'll have to come back or sub to nebula and watch it later.

[@Banjo2030]

​@@LordRykard9376 Still trolling?

[@duazia9737]

This was probably THE best video on the channel so far. Really, a manifestation of what Philosophy Tube is. I love you! (also thank you for putting subtitles!!)

[@Mikel.mystic]

The level of care that you and your team has given to PH's captions for years is not only an unusual occurrence, but a great joy for me (a hearing person). I love to have not only accuracy in the captions I very regularly engage, but THIS video had so many jokes that I was over the moon. Plus, the music credits were a nice touch. Great job, folx. I lol'd

[@mirjamk2882]

That talk about phantasms really reminds me of the way I feel when I’m confronted with a phobia: “It feels as if I’m in danger” turns into “I’m in danger.” and “It feels as if I’m going to crash the car” becomes “I’m going to crash the car”. The resulting “truth” seems inevitable in that moment, it feels so real and it’s so obvious that I can’t comprehend anyone not seeing it.

[@lauraw536]

Thank you for writing this comment. It helped me realise that my depressive thoughts are phantasms. 'I feel like I'm never going to get better' becomes 'I am never going to get better', etc. Thinking about it that way is actually really helpful to me and will help me not give in to them as much. Thank you

[@mirjamk2882]

@@lauraw536 Wow, I didn’t even make that connection myself but you’re totally right. It kind of explains how reality warping depression feels. I’m glad this was helpful, but thank you for pointing it out as well.

[@dandelion_16]

So homophobia and transphobia CAN be literal irrational fears omg

[@martinacuna9556]

OH MY GOD MY OCD

[@jeffersonclippership2588]

​@@dandelion_16 well yeah

[@thefancy_tomato8997]

Rhys turning to see the audience, idk why but that hit me so hard, I immediately started crying. Also your final line "[I hope I continue to change] because the only people who don't change are the dead" is sooo poignant after that whole conversation with your "dead" self and but also the implication of like, people who refuse to change are limiting themselves in a very profound way, as you expressed in your video. 10/10, this might be one of your best videos yet.

[@CherriesJubilee]

Me too. Break that fourth wall and break my heart. We know how hard it is going to be for him…

[@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721]

I didn't expect how cathartic it'd be to wave back at a semi-fictional character saying hi to me.

[@maranutt775]

Hi there. This video hit hard. I'm enby, and just started T, 4 and a bit years after coming out to myself and 4 months after realizing that I wanted to go on T. I turn 27 in a few weeks. Cried at the end, it was so powerful to give the past self hugs and love. I also have lots of blood family that are in phantasms (thankfully I have an awesome chosen family), and this video expanded on prior and brought together with new ideas and philosophies that helped me to understand so much about the world they are all in, and that we are all in. Thanks for the amazing videos, as always.

[@gabrielmartinelli9532]

I wasn’t expecting to cry to a video-essay, but here I am

[@lettucekitteh6175]

"I hope that this is not the cleverest or most compassionate that I will ever be" is one of the nicest sentiments I've heard in a while, and one I hope to take to heart. Thank you.

[@xz0mbae]

I started watching when your, *ahem*, brother was sitting on the floor in front of a bookcase speaking philosophically. It seems within that time frame we've both transitioned and have led happier lives. Thank you for all you do ❤.

[@PhilosophyTube]

Heyyy, nice!

[@lumirueluv]

This is wholesome. Thank you for making some really interesting concepts from Butler's book more accessible to more people :)

[@TheMumboGumbo]

Those “i love you’s” really triggered the water works. Im so happy for you.

[@Aveoncore]

The trans femme urge to use the deep voice lmfaooo love it

[@gamewrit0058]

Just yesterday I watched Avelo's latest video - "Do I Sound Trans?" -and she mentions that she's purposely trained her "old" voice and "new" voice musically because she wants to incorporate both in her music. 🥰💙💗

[@mitcharendt2253]

I'm trans male and I do trans femme voice sometimes

[@LyingTube]

I'm nonbinary so I don't do much with my voice (mainly just taking out the gravel), but I still slip it back in if I need to sound authoritative on a phone call

[@Aveoncore]

@@gamewrit0058 that’s a good ass video ngl

[@nessa-parmentier]

@@gamewrit0058 being transfem but not started voice training yet, that's what I want to do I like singing, and I do like my current singing voice. My usual voice is more up for debate, but as I progress I don't want to lose control of my current singing voice, at least not unless I manage another one that i'd prefer.

[@jedipoz]

I am definitely one of the people who thought "how did she do the hug scene at the end? They're the same person!!" before remembering that was Rhys. Well done Rhys!!!

[@KaiFulci]

I'ma be real I thought it was an AI trained on her old voice and face placed on a random actors body.

[@avivahtwinkletoes4374]

As great as Rhys is, I have never understood people confusing them. I think they look completely different (even prior to coming out).

[@akamesama]

@@avivahtwinkletoes4374 Yeah, the coming out video was a slightly confusing because they clearly are not the same person, but are close enough to glean that something is up. I think it works better here, because of the distance from her older videos and that it is clearer that is going on.

[@wen6519]

I feel like I skipped some Phylosophy Tube lore and now I'm sad

[@hauthot287]

Wdym, that’s clearly her brother 🙄

[@LorentzInvariance]

As someone who loves reading boring published papers. Thank you forever for adding references, but also random bibliographies for further reading. Love it!

[@AutisticlyRose]

I'm so glad you keep doing these youtube videos despite your success off this platform. I love learning this stuff and you have made it so accessable for me.

[@PhilosophyTube]

More to come!

[@taylorjerome3825]

Thank you! The ending scene with "old you" saying hi to the audience and being surprised and amazed to see MORE of us was such a good feeling to be part of and your content is the highlight of my month!

[@itsasecret9333]

There are some dwarves in the final Narnia book that, at the end of the world, are thrown into a stable that is a door to heaven. All of the other characters can see the beauty and joy, but the dwarves are stubborn, they refuse to be "taken in" and "fooled", refuse to see the paradise right in front of them, and therefore literally only see the filthy inside of a stable. That's how it feels to me sometimes to hear those on the far right talk. You could be so happy, but you've convinced yourself that everyone is out to get you, or pull one over on you, and so that's what you're reality becomes, the only happiness you can muster is out of spite and a sense of superiority that you and yours weren't tricked.

[@htopherollem649]

Unfortunately, too many people of the world use these particular phantasms to justify their own selfish behavior. It's the reason why we're trapped in capitalism the world over, and so many are he'll bent on preventing humanity's evolution. 😢

[@tymera]

When you refuse to leave the stable, all you will smell is shit

[@averyeml]

“I’m not happy and I refuse to be happy, so I won’t let you be happy either” seems to be the going rule at the moment

[@DAFLIDMAN]

​@@averyeml I've been looking for someway to sum up the way things have been going in the world lately and this little sentence perfectly does, thank you I'm gonna have to borrow.

[@ziglaus]

The truly crazy part is that is exactly how they see us as well. From their point of view it is them that sees the happiness and beauty and joy, and its the left that refuses to see it out of stubbornness. They too think we "convinced ourselves everyone is out to get us or pull one over us" and that is the reality we made. They too think our only sense of joy is out of spite for them and our sense of superiority. Understanding each other comes only after we overcome this mentality

[@maggiehall8501]

Abigail telling her past self that she loved them was honestly so moving to me, I feel like that would be such a healing thing to do

[@Frosted_Moontips]

Yoooo the callback to your coming out vid with the guy who played you pre-transition was so cool I nearly spun in my chair X33

[@CouncilofGeeks]

I was holding it together up until “there’s more of them.”

[@aventurette]

i was really expecting her to make a joke about how the newer viewers think that he's her dead brother, and then she said that instead and the tears spilled

[@WouldntULikeToKnow.]

I'm not crying, YOU'RE CRYING!

[@Nutriageek]

I really wasn't expecting to cry on a video "about Judith Butler"

[@adamj8099]

I knew I would cry eventually in this video but I didn't quite expect how much.

[@zeppie_]

That last scene really got me, I was crying all throughout the outro

[@CanadisX]

"because the only people who don't change... are the dead" Very powerful line

[@JasRGB]

Welp. Every scene with your past self made me tear up, and the last one absolutely destroyed me. Thanks

[@aaronwalker2125]

I am a cis white (now old) man, and this video gave such insight and clarity, and brought me to tears. We all could have a hopeful reconciliation as you were able to dramatize. Thank you.

[@skateisdestiny]

I lost an uncle to phantasm. My sister came out and my whole family was blacklisted by him. I want to not care, but he's been someone that has always been present in my life and it's impossible not to care. If you find a way, any way, to get people out of the phantasm, please share it!

[@char1211]

I don't know how old you are or if your uncle is still willing to talk to you so this might not be the best advice but: I find it works best to talk and be curious about the fears that have made someone turn to phantasms. Ask why they think x is causing this problem, how it makes them feel, why they think y is the solution, what they think society would look like if that solution was implemented etc. Along the way you can nudge them in a better direction by making suggestions like "Don't you think that would hurt [group of people]?" or "Wouldn't that lead to [unwanted consequence]?" but you shouldn't be confrontational. The act of changing one's mind is very vulnerable so making a person feel heard and understood is much better than debating them because we don't listen when we're scared, it's when we feel safe that we're willing to open our minds to new ideas and we need time to mull over those ideas in private in order to decide that they're worth believing in. For the people in my life who this has worked with, it took a lot of time and patience so I'm not saying it's a quick or easy fix but it's the most effective thing I've tried. I hope this made sense and good luck with your family!!

[@notallergictochocolate]

I'm pretty sure I have lost both of my parents to a phantasm...I think it is only a matter of time until I just have to cut ties ☹️

[@tianikane3312]

We believe we are all into phantasm at some point in our lives. When we look back at certain beliefs we held, it makes us cringe. We are all brainwashed by society at some point, particularly the younger we are. Someone said "If we don't cringe at what we were five years ago, we are not growing". Yep. We believe that. We cringe a lot. Give them time but don't suffer abuse at their hands. Stand your ground if required, or just pull back for some space as needed and look after yourself.

[@superdrwholock]

@tianikane3312 I cringe at what I said 2 days ago, ima be a giant

[@fmlAllthetime]

Love. It's the only thing that helps at all. Unconditional, but also realistic and metered, love. They have to save themselves. Your as the actor, if you wish to help, simply don't shame them and take them back when they come back in. Might be in another dream. But it all comes back around.

[@ktangtang1]

Hi Abby Im Kristina and I am a transgender woman as well. I shit you not, before I went home to watch your video, I was in therapy and doing inner child work. I was speaking to myself as a child and I was telling her how sorry I was for not standing up for her and how she didnt deserved what happened to her. Watching you speak to Rhys and addressing the challenges of being trans and transitioning but also the joy and the hope you had for your future reminded me that I want to tell my past self (who is me) that I am not just sorry but that I am going to earn her forgiveness. I want to tell her that "I am going to take care of my physical and mental health" and "I am going to find the love we never had, romantic and platonic and everything in between" and "I am going to do everything I can do to help trans children growing up now to experience joys, milestones and a childhood and adolescence as themselves" and "I will be a physician so that one day, a trans child or adult will come to my office and say they want to transition and across them will be someone who can smile at them and say "Welcome home". I want to say to my inner child "Im sorry" and "thank you for surviving to become me" and "You can rest now, I will take it from here". To steal your line, I want to tell her "I love you". I know we are strangers Abby and you might never see this but thank you.

[@gallame2935]

ur text made me cry

[@alex_blue5802]

This is really beautiful

[@ohffsnoway]

shedding tears of love & happiness for you here, i feel privileged to have come across your comment, and to have read your beautifully words, a cherry on top of the video we’ve just watched. it warms my heart that there are young people like you making this world a better place, much love & hugs to both adult you, and to little you, you are a gift and you are loved xx

[@jan_kisan]

this is one of the sweetest and most humane things i've read. thanks for sharing your warmth with us, unknown internet folks. we need it. give yours and take ours ❤‍🔥

[@roopadoops792]

"Thank you for surviving to become me" I think some of us need to hear this

[@oliveukulele]

you've actually gathered the dream team, Abigail and all the other lovely people who worked on this video. seeing so many of my favorite thoughtful online people is a delight.

[@mechanicaldavid4827]

Oh, now we need a Philosophy Tube prequel, "The Phantasm Menace"!

[@quinlan24]

“if a tree falls in the forest, and no one’s around to hear it… it has no pronouns.” i fucking LOST IT

[@riverofpower5659]

I lost it on that one too!

[@pnutz_2]

it was also a callback to an earlier episode, abagail asked what were its pronouns and the most popular answer was "tim/ber"

[@johnandersson8258]

Except that the word 'it' in that sencence actually _is_ a pronoun.

[@artyb27]

This one really got me too, love it

[@matthewvaughan1532]

I’m also fantastically happy that your career is soaring. Totally deserved

[@SemiIocon]

"An IMAX level act of projection", lmao!

[@skyteus]

Bruuuh 🤣

[@Hamokk]

Hi Abbi! Remember seeing the sneak peak on Patreon but only now had time to watch it.

[@QueenStodge]

Loved this video so much. The moments between you and your younger self were just so good

[@Scottthespy13]

Almost accidentally, I was raised vastly without gendered expectations. I was born at the tail end of the eighties, my parents weren't hippies or contrarians, it wasn't an experiment or an attempt to rail against the trappings of society. They just never told me a thing I had to do was because I was a 'girl'. I had to wear a dress because we were going somewhere fancy, and those happened to be my fancy clothes. I couldn't play in the mud right now because it was almost supper. The only limiter on what toys I was allowed to have was how much they cost. I do not recall ever in my youth hearing the words 'because you're a girl', or 'that's for boys'. I was fourteen the first time someone, a hairdresser, made a choice for me based on gender, altering the hair style I'd picked from a book because it 'wouldn't look good on a girl'. I still remember, twenty years later, being upset about it. What did my being a girl have to do with my hair style? Somehow, despite going to an all-girls junior high, I was well into my teens before I ever was explicitly given gendered reasons for why something was how it was. I still *saw* things that happened due to societal gender expectations...I never saw men in formfitting dresses (though I did see them in kilts), and I usually saw boys being the ones to be more into roughhousing (though my mother was stronger than my father most of my life). Being aromantic and asexual just so happened to remove dating and all the myriad expectations that come with that from my experience as well, and being a naive and oblivious little muffin meant I didn't even notice my friends getting into that sort of thing until *very* late. As a result, I had a very difficult time grasping the concept of 'gender' when I finally did start thinking about it, in my last year of high school. I couldn't understand how someone could 'feel' like a man or a woman, or what that had to do with anything they did in life. I thought for a while it was just the trappings...a generally agreed upon set of colours, behaviors, and desires that were 'girly' or 'manly'. I didn't understand how someone could feel so strongly about what someone else *wore* that they'd argue over it, let alone start such a huge, worldwide discourse. What did it matter? I just didn't understand. My first inkling of feeling a 'gender' divide for myself was when I realized that I classified skirts as 'hippie' and pants as 'anime'. Some days I would be in an anime mood, and want to wear pants, other days I'd be feeling more hippie, and want to wear a sarong skirt. It took me months to click (in my mid 20s) that this sort of unquestioned, inner mental association was akin to what most people were feeling in regard to the gender divide. And while my 'hippie vs anime' moods extended solely to my outfits, it gave me some sort of glimpse into the understanding that everyone around me already had and shared...that there *was* a difference, and it *did* matter, if only to the individual who was trying to figure it out. It was a straw I could grasp, a foot on the train that everyone around me was riding that let me extrapolate how this *felt* to people who cared about it, and even those who didn't really care about it but still felt it as general background noise in their lives. Since then I've been trying to figure out exactly what sounds right to me. I genuinely feel like a 'genderless' world, one in where no expectations are placed on a person based on their reproductive anatomy, would be a happier one. One where no one questioned what you liked doing or wanted to be when you grew up based on your gender, one where physical dimorphism matter *only* for medical reasons (I'm pretty sure this person with no ovaries is not experiencing an ectopic pregnancy), and what sort of job you were considered for was determined completely and only by your physical and mental capabilities. Would it erase gender dysphoria? I honestly don't know, but I lean towards 'not completely', though I think being able to dress and act however felt right with no one questioning why you wanted to do so would certainly *help*. I think a world where no one gave a shit either way what your sex, gender, or representation was would be a happier one, simply because it would be one less divide people had to worry about, one less side to take, one less ingroup and outgroup for people to get fussed over. And I kind of wish more people had experienced the more-or-less genderless upbringing that I did, because from my point of view, it's let me reach for the things I want without the added layer of considering if society approves of 'a girl' doing those things. And I feel like humanity in general would be happier if this notion 'gender' being somehow important outside of the individual just...wasn't part of our collective consciousness.

[@affable407]

agreed (wholeheartedly)!

[@HighFlyActionGuy]

I just want to point out that you lived in a world with gender expectations so fully baked into every part of your life that your "nice clothes" were also your "girly clothes" and you didnt even notice. I also bet that at least once you were told that men can actually wear kilts because they are manly, even though they are just like skirts. You lived an aggressively gendered upbringing that made it nearly impossible for you to see or engage with the feelings and worldviews of others until you were much older.

[@catdownthestreet]

you're absolutely correct about that.

[@VullVull]

I also grew up with no real gender expectations (cis man). I distinctly recall wondering what would be different if I had been born a girl and thinking I'd still go to school, I'd still love my family, I'd still play an instrument, still go to church, still love reading... basically everything I cared about would be the same. Years later I realized that my gender impacts how *other people* treat me, and that influences how I experience life. Not that that's a good thing, but I have to acknowledge it as real.

[@earnestlanguage4242]

I also thought that my parents had not raised me with gender norms. But after examining my experience I think that I was just relatively immune to gender expectations because I was always nonbinary. I heard gendered rules, but I often broke, argued against, or (most often) ignored them because they didn't seem to apply to me. Gendered stuff just always seemed irrelevant. It washed past my brain like a language I didn't know. As an adult I actually thought that my parents had missed the childhood window to teach gender, and that's why I never knew mine. But eventually I heard other nonbinary folks' stories and identified with them. I like your hippie or anime distinction, that makes sense to me!

[@mikussleepiest]

Let's all grow old together. Hearing you say you hope to grow old is so important to me. I decided to transition at an age where, for the standard of online spaces, feels like I have one foot in the grave already. On the contrary I finally want to live and it feels like my life has finally started. It's never too late. Live.

[@TheAngryMarshmallow]

❤ yes.

[@Urayuss]

This was one of the most beautiful pieces of media i think I've ever seen. The whole throughline that was you speaking to your past self kept tears in my eyes for an hour. I echo your sentiments. I hope this is not the most kind, compassionate, and able I'll ever be. I would like to bring the love and comfort and acceptance that you bring to your audience, and the willingness to give us room to figure it out for ourselves, to the people in my life. To as many people as i can. Thank you for being such an inspiration, Abigail. Ne'er a holier thought than the philosophy here taught.