I Roasted Every City in the World - Stand Up Comedy - Geoffrey Asmus

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

Hey kids. Thanks for watching. COME SEE ME ON MY NEVERENDING TOUR BEFORE I FILM MY SPECIAL - punchup.live/geoffreyasmus/ Fort Collins 9/5 - 9/7 Fargo 9/13 - 9/14 Sioux Falls 9/15 Edmonton 9/19 - 9/21 Calgary 9/22 Pittsburgh 9/25 - 9/26 Morgantown 9/27 Memphis 10/3 Bentonville, AR 10/4 Minneapolis 10/11 Eau Claire WI 10/13 Madison WI 10/17 - 10/19 NYC 10/22 Salt Lake City 10/25 -10/26 Spokane 10/27 Detroit 11/1 - 11/2 St. Louis 11/3 Erie, PA 11/7 Cleveland 11/8 - 11/10 New Orleans 11/13 Atlanta 11/14 - 11/16 Oxford, MS 11/17 NYC 11/20 Philly 11/21 - 11/23 Louisville 12/5 Bloomington IN 12/6 - 12/7 San Diego 12/13 - 12/15 Omaha 12/20 - 12/21

[@TheOriginalCaptainTrips]

I'll keep an eye out when you get closer to Portland OR

[@huwyj]

Come to Brisbane, Australia

[@TheBrainvision]

You are literally the funniest and smartest comedian I've seen in years. I am 56 and I used to enjoy Bill Burr (still good), CK (perv but smart) Chappelle (way too preachy these days) and at one point Gervais (he loves animals, so I'll give him a pass). They all come with their baggage. But you, Giovanni Soreci and Greer Barnes (he really needs more social media presence) are fantastic. Wishing you all the success dude. Love from MALAYSIA. Yup, that's how far you have reached.

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

doing Australia next spring. Sign up for my dumb email list with the link in my bio and I’ll let you know when tix go on sale - eepurl.com/h_HMIX

[@cinapse]

Still waiting to see Montréal on that list

[@polapaul]

10:07 this joke aged like wine.

[@eriklakeland3857]

The Toronto “could use a baker’s dozen 9/11’s” because of the skyline’s ugliness is my fav joke in the video lolol

[@Allenmarshall]

I concur 🕺🏻

[@Fern635]

Yes! Please come back to enjoy our ugly skyline again! I didn't know you existed the first time you were here 😆

[@davidharrison7030]

When brains, knowledge, and wit combine, you get Geoffrey Asmus.

[@murmurrrr]

You forgot and the physique of a twelve year old

[@overthoughtandunderstated]

Humor? Guns?

[@victorblaer]

And when 3 different men jizz into a cup you get what Geoffrey calls mother's milk. (feel free to add your ending)

[@hunterh5692]

“Dallas, not a great city but fine” is the best possible description of Dallas 😂

[@blueindian1328]

Your observational humor is unmatched.

[@rvh9876]

In every city Asmus visits, he goes straight to Planet Fitness. He then gets crushed under a 95 lb bench press and then goes out for blood. “This inbred city must pay” he screams as he pulls his T-Wolves sweater over his caved in chest. The process is unconventional but you can’t question the results.

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

this is true

[@victorblaer]

Which is ironic, because his mom is the first woman to question the results of a maternity test.

[@davewilson6313]

I once swerved off the road and hit a man while listening to Geoff. I quickly looked around and saw no one. I left the scene. Anyway, you're an excellent comedian and, ya know, you have blood on your hands

[@KYLETISZAI]

I... Is this a joke???? 😮

[@Bossnopoly]

Only Alphas here, brother.

[@davewilson6313]

@@KYLETISZAI alpha comedy. A little different

[@victorblaer]

I once swerved off the road while listening to Geoff. When that didn't work I took some pills.

[@jmc1387]

0:09 under 10 seconds in and already just an absolutely, unbelievably outstanding joke 👑

[@LiterateDuck]

I wonder what it’s like being this good at comedy. Legendary stuff here Goof.

[@victorblaer]

Geoff also wonders what it's like to be good at comedy, like Riffe.

[@michaelm2502]

The Garden State 8 joke about Christie was great! The REI sponsoring Portland was gold! The whole Portland bit was brilliant . Sadly true but hilarious!

[@aertos_xas]

He did it once again, made me spill my coffee. Great as always!!! 🔥

[@johnblandersen1626]

Geoffrey, you are PROLIFIC! I tell everyone I know about you and your incredible talent. The world needs to know of your brilliance, sir!

[@michaelh8854]

There’s some absolute gold in here. Your fast pace, confidence, and higher intelligence jokes make it very fun

[@silentp_p8275]

bro the wild fire joke is crazy now looking back at it @GeoffreyAsmus 😂

[@mikenew5380]

Dude you’re incredibly comfortable on stage & your act is getting so damn good. Can’t wait to catch you live in Tampa to see it all

[@NoContentDude]

Dammit, that jew beat me here first.

[@dillonbrooks7807]

You are a legend. You’re comedy is on another level

[@slartibartfast7921]

Hicks level.

[@ToluAmore]

"SAY NUTMEGGER!" Lmaoooo!

[@jerryingram9465]

Got em with that Wildfire Season bit...hell yeah dude

[@_bleaux]

The best comedian alive

[@Harkness197]

Omg this guy is brilliant!!

[@Felonious_Punk]

The detail in that gun nerd bit is awesome, and then there's the low-key flair of rubbing his eye while finishing with: "Either shut up or shoot me with it."

[@dhygin]

"Wildfires season's coming up!"

[@timetravel1014]

Beginning to end laughs, great compilation!

[@TheLosrodri]

Thanks Geoff! You had me dyin for 20 m straight, and the audio quality issue has finally been trending in the right direction in your videos!

[@no_snap]

How Geoff hasn’t been thrown off a NYC rooftop for how he pronounces bagel is beyond me. Anyway, great stuff!

[@htopherollem649]

wow, you shocked more than a few laughs out of me! Great satire , thank you

[@beyond_been]

You are savage and I love it 🔥

[@alephestudios]

I turned off adblocker so you can have a few cents in exchange for the laughter hahaha Love it, I wish I could attend to one show but I don't even live in the USA.

[@worldwarchamp1959]

Yooo you went hard in the paint on the Germans 😂😂😂.

[@Peetreesaur]

It’s really f’ed up how under rated you are. You deserve an HBO special. Fuq Netflix and Hulu

[@andrewm7304]

OMG. Chris Christie salami tax😂. Also F…Netflix! Hysterical Dude you’re crushing it.

[@udovchjustin5941]

geoff youre.the the man! love it.

[@pnwesty7174]

A clip from the best show of the year, and the city you need to return to....Poooortlaaannnd.

[@jillianraddatz8562]

So good!!

[@mattgiant8836]

You roastes us Dutchies by saying we were 'like Germans without ambition'. Perfect roast, I'm still burning.

[@johnweingarten]

Commenting for the algo, 60k subs is a crime

[@briansass9551]

Pure comedy! 🤣 I'd pay good money if you were ever around Arkansas! You rock.

[@joshuakeesee1067]

Come to Alaska!!!!

[@cocojambo3003]

I love how you roasted the Germans. They need more unfiltered jokes about their past. I live there and most people here are so dry and sensitive when it comes to comedy. Made my day!

[@randoru1871]

😂😂😂 God i love this man

[@darthlaurel]

If I wasn't already subbed, I'd sub after hearing you drag Yale. F Yale indeed.

[@slartibartfast7921]

“America has too many mass shootings, Canada too few” 😂😂 Literally the best comedian since hicks. Tour Asheville….. I’m pissed I have to keep asking at this point.

[@TheOriginalCaptainTrips]

Long story short (too late) I, as you know, am a huge, longtime fan of standup. I love your work and I over that you put out clip videos w/ a decent amount of time. A lot of comics put up good content but it's often short. TY

[@billsadler3]

Another monstrous non-subscriber who enjoyed the whole thing

[@FrankSmith]

i'm not sure how you would say that wild fire joke aged at this point lmfao

[@GeneralBlorp]

“Take MLK to Rosa Parks” -Portland residents 😅😊

[@T25de]

JFK may have shot him self But it was certain the shot cam from within the car 😂😂

[@dp6921]

Yes! A flashback episide! Geoffrey is establishment now. Can't wait for the White Comedian In Space episode.

[@fathat2261]

Another video by the goat

[@stickytourbus]

*I loved the end* _Now, I know how to pronounce Asmus._ 😁👍

[@ugnug]

Can’t believe he predicted the palisades fire 😭😭

[@beijingbball1]

Congrats on reaching 60k

[@victorblaer]

Coincidentally, $60k is what you would have to pay me to watch this video again. Also, i heard that's how much his mom spent on dna tests after the gangbang, or what they call it "family reunion". I'm kidding, i love Geoffrey, unlike his parents who named him Geoffrey. (he also asked to be roasted in the comments.. )

[@bvrulez]

Love that you have been to Berlin! Just discovered you some weeks ago. Come to Leipzig! Maybe 5 people will show up... :) Love your jokes about Germans! Keep it up! ❤ A line I also liked very much: "You cant get offended, if you dont do anything about it."

[@tameshewolf]

genuis is what genius does! i don't hate anything about youuuu

[@simpsons721]

You're funny!

[@DJFatStacks]

The toronto ones especially rocked

[@psicobassmanecdqemsd]

I hate that asums is not getting that rife money money

[@fieldcrow]

My algorithm keeps showing this comp as ‘new’ and now I just watch it every time because-it’s really great. it’s your old duffer fan again. I really relate to “back in my day the orgies didn’t have queers.” I never actually got to go to any. didn’t have ’em in Mississippi. The stuff in Germany is ridiculously great. the Amsterdam bit also. 17th c. was the Dutch Golden Age, as thee verify knoweth. but the German stuff, that actually does take guts. will you be in Nashville again soon? Also, have you ever tried listening to the audiobook ‘St. Ireneaus On Heresies’ banjo-eyed (stoned)? the Cainites in 30 Coins were an actual heretical sect. I think they found their phony The Gospel of Judas all the other Dead Sea Scrolls. I hate Phish ha ha.

[@hugosirett1598]

first jew to comment !

[@GeneralBlorp]

Ve fount zem!! 😅

[@baze703]

Vamous

[@rawn9234]

Get em you aren't allowed to stop us either culture rules chump

[@ShareXP]

The one thing I hate about Geoffrey Asmus is that he is a living breathing laugh track to his own jokes.

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

@@ShareXP gotta believe in yourself

[@brasshouse-fireball]

Nice!

[@dul22]

Come to Brussels, some much material to laugh at 😂

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

doing a big europe tour in the fallll. Sign up for my dumb email list and I’ll let you know when tix go on sale - eepurl.com/h_HMIX

[@dul22]

@ nice! First drink s on me

[@elishamorgan]

No one is safe and it's hilarious

[@robertflood3007]

Nailed the hills of LA

[@stevenkaz28]

Subscribed because Im no monster.

[@JimEdmiston]

Great highlight reel. Kudos from a Floridian conservative.

[@caseyfreelove4458]

Come to Sacramento Geoff!

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

Booked for next March. Sign up for my dumb email list with the link in my bio and I’ll let you know when tix go on sale - eepurl.com/h_HMIX

[@casualwater698]

Come back to Indy. Me and all of my wook friends were at Phish last time you were here.

[@dallinger]

New fan, in the twin cities can't wait to see you when you're back

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

Coming back next month. buy tix here - www.tickettailor.com/events/the10000laughscomedyfestival/1354867?

[@PhusionBlues]

Tight

[@alephestudios]

I hope you get to have the option to have paid memberships or whatever KZbin calls them, so members can get to watch full shows

[@LazarusDangerfield]

Come to Glasgow buddy 👍

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

Next Julyyy its happening. Sign up for my dumb email list with the link in my bio and I’ll let you know when tix go on sale - eepurl.com/h_HMIX

[@LazarusDangerfield]

​@GeoffreyAsmus OK fine, I've signed up to your stupid email list. I hope it isn't as crap as Toronto though... 😉

[@emilyhenderson1740]

Come back to LA soon!

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

Coming in januaryyyy. Sign up for my dumb email list with the link in my bio and I’ll let you know when tix go on sale - eepurl.com/h_HMIX

[@miracleman2323]

i'm gonna say it. this guy is funny

[@Simco_]

17:04 The show must go on.

[@Nopaants]

Dude!!! Play Albany NY again. I saw your tour dates days after you started n you started in Albany. I freakin won’t miss it again!!!

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

ill be back in the spring. Sign up for my dumb email list and I’ll let you know when tix go on sale - eepurl.com/h_HMIX

[@daskugs]

Glad ya held strong and didn’t let them trick you into saying Nutmeggar!

[@elzurdico851]

the man is good

[@jefferyheppler7650]

Lawrence, KS. A crunchy town that can handle it!(?)

[@ryanmcdaniel6193]

Please come back to Portland again! I noticed that you need to set up a tour of consecutive cities. Your dates look like the lyrics of Johnny Cash I've Been Everywhere. 😭

[@spottv7261]

Come to San Antonio

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

im there next march. Sign up for my dumb email list and I’ll let you know when tix go on sale - eepurl.com/h_HMIX

[@TommyLikeTom]

Ah yes, the 20 cities of the world

[@duncanv.l.2885]

Geoff you are the truth. Keep making jokes about Matt Rife

[@michaelh8854]

No Sacramento?

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

Booked for March. Sign up for my dumb email list with the link in my bio and I’ll let you know when tix go on sale - eepurl.com/h_HMIX

[@user-ks8ux4ig6b]

I live in LA and it takes too long to drive anywhere so.... can you come to my house?

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

haha im doing LA in januaryyy. ill make sure they clear the freeways for ya. Sign up for my dumb email list with the link in my bio and I’ll let you know when tix go on sale - eepurl.com/h_HMIX

[@user-ks8ux4ig6b]

@@GeoffreyAsmus Done.

[@Xr3737]

pretty funny

[@benbrokke1165]

Vienna next year!

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

it will be on the europe tour next summer. Sign up for my dumb email list with the link in my bio and I’ll let you know when tix go on sale - eepurl.com/h_HMIX

[@benbrokke1165]

@@GeoffreyAsmus Amazing - signed up long ago, can't wait!

[@Waday]

I love you. Come to Vegas.

[@Waday]

Wait, you were in Vegas!? I just saw the clip.

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

i was there in June. I'll be back next May or June. Sign up for my dumb email list so you dont miss tix next time - eepurl.com/h_HMIX

[@jesuac]

Honolulu Hawaii at Blue Note in Waikiki.

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

Doing Hawaii next summerrrr. Sign up for my dumb email list with the link in my bio and I’ll let you know when tix go on sale - eepurl.com/h_HMIX

[@jesuac]

@@GeoffreyAsmus Godamn Right. Can’t Wait Haole Boi. 🤙🏽

[@knowclub-d3n]

😂😂😂😂

[@djmech3871]

Come to Hamburg, Germany.

[@speakatron5634]

Gotta be able to laugh at yourself!

[@PorkChops_Johnson]

You should tour in Australia. We need more alpha comedians here!

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

its in the works for next summer. Sign up for my dumb email list with the link in my bio and I’ll let you know when tix go on sale - eepurl.com/h_HMIX

[@PorkChops_Johnson]

@@GeoffreyAsmus Your summer or our summer? :)

[@lukefleming3782]

Since you asked... You know what I hate about you Geoff? That you won't come to Boise but you'll do a set in every city around us. There I said it, weight off my shoulders 😄

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

Trying to book it for next April. Sign up for my dumb email list with the link in my bio and I’ll let you know when tix go on sale - eepurl.com/h_HMIX

[@fadew55]

Well that LA wildfire joke didn't age well

[@borlanderobertson5666]

I like how you put explanations for low intelligence viewers. 😂😂😂😂..............I need them😢

[@AdHocF1]

Come to Australia please. I won’t pay for your flights.

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

haha its coming next summer. The Aussies need me. Sign up for my dumb email list with the link in my bio and I’ll let you know when tix go on sale - eepurl.com/h_HMIX

[@borlanderobertson5666]

Arena tour next year.