My Former Student Was In The Audience - Stand Up Comedy - Geoffrey Asmus

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

Hey kids. Thanks for watching. Come see me on tour. Buy tix here - linktr.ee/Geoffreyatm11 I'm doing shows in Point Pleasant NJ, Indianapolis, Missoula, NYC, Atlanta, Salt Lake City, Tulsa, Spokane, Fort Collins, Saranac Lake, Fargo, Sioux Falls, Calgary, Edmonton, Memphis, NW Arkansas, St. Louis, Detroit and somehow more. Join my mailing list to find out when I'm performing in your city - eepurl.com/h_HMIX

[@linkgunther1618]

So stoked to see you're coming to Montana. I just bought a ticket to your Missoula show.

[@franztunda9566]

Is this the time you will finally move to Iran like you promised!?

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

god i hope so

[@guitardadsinc]

Hey you do a joke about abortion and that is how I first was introduced to your stand up but i cant find that bit on youtube i saw it on a short its the “I would think conservatives would love abortion because its just dead liberals” bit could anyone help me locate that full set?

[@mattlampe]

The fact that you have multiple videos asking audience members to name a country and you'll tell them the capital, and that's the one thing Anthony remembers you asked him from years ago is so funny.

[@Pawjebxitngn]

Laughed so hard

[@kelseyheidarian4721]

I was raised a Baha’i, so I’ve been waiting 40 years for these riffs on the Baha’i faith.

[@sirjohnmara]

Haha! Great!

[@NoelBuller]

I can't wait for Inter-Calendar Day!

[@kelseyheidarian4721]

@@NoelBuller it’s actually four days! (Five days in a leap year)

[@TreiPani]

The temples are so pretty

[@SeeGuitarRun]

"He's selling cars." "Even worse." 😂

[@Thegameshowcase]

Same shady deals, but with financing!

[@Johnnyappleseed11]

Geoffrey, this is Steven Spielberg’s assistant. Really great camera work at the end there. Would you be interested in collaborating? Schindler’s list 2 is in preproduction and we need a cinematographer after Baldwin took out our first choice.

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

Sorry I’m booked up with Good Burger 3 already

[@Johnnyappleseed11]

@@GeoffreyAsmus I see. Steve wasn’t able to land that gig so we’re doing this instead.

[@PT_911]

This riff is fucking amazing. Truly it's the best. Glad to finally see some alpha fan commentary here​@@Johnnyappleseed11

[@hankadelicflash]

Goodbuger was filmed in West Covina! Lol​@@GeoffreyAsmus

[@NixonThr336ix]

@@GeoffreyAsmus capital of the Donetsk peoples republic?

[@ApolloLax]

Why isn’t this guy more popular? Funniest guy around

[@IDDQDSound]

Too alpha

[@TheDwightMamba]

Because beta cucks are buying tickets to see Bert or Fluffy.

[@Sisterlisk]

His stuff requires a more intelligent crowd

[@ShidanTowfiq]

I'm so stoked to make the KZbin cut from the Bend show! What a great show and I appreciated how long you went on your set. Anthony's reveal seemed to sidetrack you in a good way and I was happy you called on me. Can't wait to see you again and I always look forward to your next video post on KZbin! Your audience loves you, so thank you for loving us back. Smart comedy is the best and that's what attracted me to your clips so quickly.

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

Much love to the Baha’i faith

[@Pacmon0]

I'm more or less Bahai. Jewish Muslim who belives is Jesus is coming back soon, but not God. The Messiah. Much more than a prophet.

[@thyhandrevolve]

"The Voltron of Homophobia".... omfg 🤣💀

[@zachlightcap2179]

It is true... It is a loving faith, but "Don't engage in homosexual acts" Is very much at the heart of actually being obedient to this Revelation and the Prophet that revealed it... "No matter how fine the love is between two menbers of the same sex, to engage in homosexual acts is wrong" - Shoghi Effendi, guardian of the Cause of God When asked about homosexuality or the 'subject of boys' Baha'u'llah responded "Methinks I shrivel..".. -

[@thyhandrevolve]

@zachlightcap2179 Fun fact: It's actually the first recorded version of "That looks good, but no homo" line, in recent history. Yeah, some people think that mayhaps, they were just... Effendi(d) by it 😎

[@jeffparisse4202]

Wow… Best crowd work ever! You definitely respect the intelligence of your audience. Smart is funny.

[@Quecuhzoo]

Geoffrey Assmouth ❤️

[@ryanfitzgerald7647]

Assmunch seems a bit more fitting

[@TonyMarselle]

Goofy assmunch, show some respect.

[@NoQualmsTheArtist]

That's what I call him as well, great minds 😂

[@YourConscience.o_o]

I fucking love this guy with all my heart lmao.

[@BurnoutBushido]

Same lmao, God Bless Anthony

[@panckreous]

Dude I was thinking the whole first three minutes "bullshit, lets see if he knows any capitals" and... yup . Fucking amazing.

[@kms4735]

Bruh u late to the party watch all his videos he knows a lot about alot and pulls the humor and wit in all subject . Check em out , hilarious! And smart!!

[@xSHAMELLx]

Another banger from the Alpha? We truly don't deserve such quality comedy 💪🏾🤯

[@brewdogg77]

I love how you can still shit on the Mormons in any joke. I love it.

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

There’s no one I respect less than a devout Mormon

[@ZforZUL]

@@GeoffreyAsmus What about the Jehovah Witnesses?

[@brewdogg77]

@@GeoffreyAsmus I literally had to use a lawyer to leave the LDS church. There's no one they detest more than an apostate like me. I love that they hate me. Fuck Mormonism.

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

@@ZforZUL I like their non-violence but detest their missionary ways

[@thomasthompson5613]

The universe is pulling strings today. Thanks for kicking ass and doing the road work/regular uploads. You're a happy bit to look forward to in my feed.

[@DjSubstain]

Just killing it. God I hope I can see one of your shows one day.

[@gabrielgreen9883]

If you do, buy him 3 gin n tonics

[@celo_gutierrez]

“I’m so blessed to be so good at the lowest form of art.”😂😂😂 It’s midnight and this shit had me dying!!!!! Never go on Netflix for a special when you blow up, Geoffrey. They will never be on your level.

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

💯💯

[@thetechnologicalsingularity]

so funny that this video came up, just after jogging past the bahai centre today. Big fan from Namibia, mad love 2 you!

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

Wowww. I gotta do Windhoek one day

[@eriklakeland3857]

“These people were begging for some riffs on the Baha’i faith” lmfao

[@kadejewell]

come back to NC and me and my wife will come to another show. As a stand-up comedy connoisseur... you are by far the most underrated comedian in the game. ❤

[@bangnee]

We are the Asmus Nation!

[@LiterateDuck]

Geoffrey was my tutor in the alpha program and I graduated summa cum laude.

[@BurnoutBushido]

*Sugma Cum Laude

[@TheTexican05]

Our boy is looking like a young Ted Kazinsky with that beard! 🧔‍♂️ 😆 Love your work, G. 🍻 (#nohomo)

[@Random9_]

I'm a new follower here, and i think I'll stay on for life. Great content man. Love from India

[@FiercedeityBrad]

Can you imagine Geoff Asmus world renowned cinematographer 😂 academy award winning cinematographer

[@grbiker8278]

Anthony is crushing it. I tutored math for tech school students when I was in college. These were people who somehow graduated high school with 3rd grade math skills. I doubt many of them would hold down a bartender job in Bend.

[@EDUAROSOLAS]

Dude you are killing it. The last time I saw this much potential in a comedian was 2005 Bill Burr. I got tix to your Seattle show. Next time you come back here better be at climate pledge arena

[@kevink2020]

As a teacher I found this amazing!

[@DirtyDovi]

10 seconds in, and I already cracked up! Dude, what are the f'n odds?! LOL Jeoff, ya might have ruined Anthony and Edgar's lives forever, but.. there's casualties in war! This experience just made up for that to the rest of us! Thanks guys for taking 1 for the team! 🤘🤣

[@jefferyheppler7650]

Another Baha'i here that loves your comedy!!

[@djofortunato5799]

I’m about to publish the first issue of a graphic novel written by a Ba’hai writer friend of mine. I’ve been fascinated by it since my landlord introduced me to it when I was 19. So I guess I’ve been waiting for riffs on Ba’hai my whole adult life - since before you were de virginized. But I feel for you as I was raised Catholic too lol

[@ryancarmona290]

I saw you in Houston. I just can’t believe how funny you are. You’re gonna be huge dude.

[@kev25811]

I was there too. Killer show.

[@nmtsue01]

I wish I could see you when you're in Louisville. So damn funny, please come back soon!

[@charlesjoseph730]

9:14… I don’t why but the “I love you so fucking much” makes me laugh so hard. Great show in Detroit, from Marquette guy. That guy definitely did not write those songs btw.

[@TheDwightMamba]

I have been joke writing for 6 years straight and I'm about to unleash them [the last 6 months' worth] on a road trip open mic tour. Jeffery makes me mad I didn't write his jokes more than any other comic. Dude jumps into the pocket and stays there until the light comes on. What an alpha stud!

[@believers1015]

I knew you back in those days. I remember going to your college graduation in Madison. Hope you’re doing well. I’m glad you were able to find your true path.

[@davidharrison7030]

Simply ... the ... best!

[@KidontheSlope]

Love the trip down memory lane!

[@TheSongwritingCat]

I don't plan on doing standup but you've unlocked a new fear of a former SAT student finding me and telling me they went to community college.

[@donttrendonme]

I actually laughed out loud during this 😂 (Raleigh misses you)

[@analozada9475]

“Is like kind of like Islam and Christianity together, a little bit isn’t? ‘No!’ No? Ok, I’ll go fk myself!” 😆🤣💀

[@samin6918]

God damn man! Your j0kes and riffs really hit bro. It is intellectually arousing

[@user-dh5yi9hz7p]

I felt that declaration of love at the end. I think you meant me. I love you too. Boyfriends! 🥰

[@cantreLs]

Brilliant

[@mantchova]

That was great. Cheers from Brazil!!

[@SailorGreenTea]

9:14, oh my

[@billtoll]

Great look into yourself! Nice job.

[@simple_lovely_moments88]

I need you to come to Burlington, VT!!

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

i was there in februaryyy. but i shall return next year. great town. sign up for my dumb email list and ill let you know when those tix go on sale - eepurl.com/h_HMIX

[@toaster7817]

is this Bend, Oregon?

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

yessir

[@rdegges]

Crap! I live in Bend and had no idea you were doing a show here! Will have to catch the next one.

[@ShidanTowfiq]

@@rdegges You missed an excellent show! We drove to Portland to see him before his Bend show was announced, then drove home early to see him again in Bend. Worth it! Too bad the girl in the second row puked on herself and missed the show.

[@nepk]

Great stuff as usual 🫡✨

[@useruseruser501]

Mic and crowd audio recording quailty is sounding much better 🥳

[@TylerSmithMusic1]

Dude. You are so damn funny. 😂

[@bobbydixon4484]

bend oregon?

[@jimnuwer]

God damn you’re great!!!!! Come to helium club in buffalo ny 🙏 please

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

Coming in February. Buy tix here - buffalo.heliumcomedy.com/shows/284498

[@jeffmccloud905]

This was great!

[@theascendunt9960]

"Knock-off Islam" Holy shit, I lol'd 🤣

[@borlanderobertson5666]

You're too funny assman❤😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@LoveProWrestling]

The voltron of homophobia made me laugh so much, thanks for that one.

[@Lasercatss]

Faith lord strikes again!!!! Baha’i? Ba-byeee!!!!

[@bransonclayton]

Another great example of "The circle of life."

[@MediaLieDetector]

You weren’t a grammar teacher… obviously. 😂😂😂

[@AlignAGI]

So gold. Fucking cracking up in public.

[@RaRa-el3iz]

Dude rocks🤙🏽

[@fightzero01]

“That was the best Allah could muster” 😂😂e

[@AnthonyJamesKelly]

Still quick and funny even with a curve ball from your past 👍

[@caloyssk1]

and the result of tutoring! 💪😋

[@starksweetheart]

Your life IS PERFECT FOR STAND UP!!! 💯👑🤣💻🎤💸💲🎉🎉🎉🤣🤣🤣

[@tennisCharlzz]

@GeoffreyAsmus We often say "Hi", then "Bye", but they say Baháʼí.

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

This pun is pure bigotry

[@tennisCharlzz]

@@GeoffreyAsmus You showed admirable restraint from naming all the capitals of the world! Only comic who can do that!

[@stevecurwick7712]

SUPERIOR EDITs alpha

[@ghazalmajidi]

Come to Vancouver!

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

i ammmm in januaryyy. sign up for my dumb email list and ill let you know when those tix go on sale - eepurl.com/h_HMIX

[@jeffredfern3744]

You've been to Wilmette, IL and seen the temple. It's the only reason I know anything about the Baha'i.

[@SevereCorrosion]

i'm not smart! and I'm not sober!

[@M1K3209]

I haven't heard the baha'i faith mentioned since the intro to world religions class I took in community college

[@JLX1373]

you are hilarious man

[@knaz7468]

Minor mic feedback ... "That's the best he can do" :-)

[@stephanlee5804]

Hilarious

[@tripplec92]

is this phone audio mixed with camera audio? that paper flop was loud af

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

Yes

[@tripplec92]

@GeoffreyAsmus fuck yea

[@Pawjebxitngn]

The virgin bit was hilarious

[@sykx7]

How the fuck did I miss this show?

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

ya gotta join my dumb email list so you dont miss when im performing near you - eepurl.com/h_HMIX

[@BrandonWhitley]

Sacramento misses you

[@patrickday4206]

Love you too baby 😂

[@weazbk1]

Love ur religious humor lol 👌🏻🤙🏻

[@guitardadsinc]

Hey you do a joke about abortion and that is how I first was introduced to your stand up but i cant find that bit on youtube i saw it on a short its the “I would think conservatives would love abortion because its just dead liberals” bit could anyone help me locate that full set?

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

its in my special 'the only funny white man' - probably near the middle

[@guitardadsinc]

@@GeoffreyAsmus Thank you ! Love your stuff ive binged the shit out of your stand up its great material loved the newest special

[@nickwilliams7511]

You really shad-an the Bahai faith

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

Well done. You won free tix for life to my shows

[@nickwilliams7511]

I’m coming to see you on September 7th! I’ll show you this comment and you can buy me a Shirley Temple

[@ShidanTowfiq]

@@GeoffreyAsmus My name is ackkkkually spelled "Shidan" so he could have gone with "Shit-on" like all the kids in second grade said when I came back to America.

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

@@ShidanTowfiq he will be reported for a hate crime

[@katdog9786]

Peas be with you.

[@brasshouse-fireball]

. You should totally do a long format video in your hotel breaking down the Peloponnesian war. I don’t know if you saw that Luis, CK and Shane Gillis podcast where they talked about American history for hours. It was fucking incredible. No offense to Luis CK or Shane Gillis but you might have a quicker wit than they do. I bet you’d be freaking phenomenal.

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

It’s not a bad idea

[@brasshouse-fireball]

@@GeoffreyAsmus it’s a fucking great idea. It was my idea. You’re welcome by the way.

[@darthlaurel]

Yes! Ancient history! YES!

[@davequist7710]

😂😂😂

[@AmanAlemMusic]

Dude, what? I’m one of those losers!! When did you tutor at west? I was in the people program at Madison West and that tutoring was the biggest bullshit ever. I came to that shit with the worst attitude ever

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

Probably like 2011-2013

[@TommyLikeTom]

If you read the description of Bahai on Wikipedia it's not so much a religion as a conscious political effort to unify the world under 1 religion, or nation, as they are against nationalism. The governing institution is in Israel. My aunt is Bahai although she is almost definitionally Jewish. Her husband, my assassinated father's brother, is an author who wrote about his experience in a South African concentration camp in the 70s run by the psychologist Aubrey Levine. Not only did they tear my family apart in the last generation, I know younger people who have separated me and my sister, one of whom has a youtube channel where he pretends to talk to dead people.

[@teamspaceman]

Woot. I thought my gooch was a pagina once

[@thyhandrevolve]

Lolz 😂

[@jawharp9467]

Espero que ninguém que esteja olhando para isso leia português. Mencionarei Geoffrey Ballet, um louva-a-deus e a televisão.

[@chrismalandrini2805]

Asmus Strong!

[@niqkwhite595]

Tutor calls himself a teacher

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

Shhhhh

[@MichaelGalt]

😂

[@SPFAlpha]

Asmus-nation, what's up?

[@metzro45]

How do we crowdfund the biopic so the world can see a depiction of the 22.5 year old you on the big screen?

[@GeoffreyAsmus]

My Venmo is @geoffrey-asmus

[@metzro45]

@@GeoffreyAsmus done! I assume my $5 will be enough to hire any working actor who lists “not great at fingering” in the special skills section of his IMDB!

[@wizkeyjack]

lol cool

[@luiysia]

your virgin material was fire tho

[@jakegalsterer5555]

Lit