I thought I was going to die.. | Here's what it taught me

[@sawyerhartman]

Man reading these comments has me feeling all types of ways. God bless you all, seriously! I love u guys, and I pray everyone is healed xo

[@ChrissyCrow]

You beautiful man, I have watched you for years and I am so happy you have finally realised you need a wee sawyer!!! Hahaha

[@antoniolefebre]

Jesus loves you Sawyer, repent from your sins and accept Jesus into your heart. God bless you brother ❤️

[@SilverHawk214]

I haven't watched you in 5 years, about 20 minutes ago KZbin recommended a Marcus Butler video and I kind of went down a quick check up of all the youtubers I used to watch. Including yours....I'm so glad you're ok! This video must have been difficult to make but it's good to have it out there so people like you and I know we aren't alone. Also put a ring on your girls finger, seems like you and her are ready.

[@briannamendoza7405]

Funny enough, they’re engaged now !

[@iEatcandy.]

I used to watch him in 2015-2016 too. I remembered and checked up on him 2-3 times over the last 5 yrs, its like seeing an old acquaintance. I'm so happy to see they're FINALLY getting engaged :) , Maybe a family soon !!!!

[@chrislzes]

Thank you for sharing- sounds like a VERY scary situation! I am 36, single mom of 2 Boys who are 12 and 14. 2 years ago I was diagnosed with a super super aggressive cancerous brain tumor. The 5 year survival rate is 4%. (It is called glioblastoma frequently abbreviated GBM if you want to look it up) They didn’t think I’d make it to 2 years! But I’m still kicking and fighting this awful brain cancer 2 years and 5 months later- praise God I’m still able to be the crazy active mom my boys know best, jumping on trampoline with them, going on hikes, swimming together! We have always loved being active together!! I am determined to fight and never give up because my boys need their mama!!

[@Noora_Spruce]

So sorry this is happening! I hope everything goes well and you will beat it! Sending you lots of love!

[@Rachel0430]

Sending you so much love ♥️

[@CelinaAllik]

Studies show that experiences bring more joy than things, also in long term. So experience as much as you can

[@Featureman]

Hi, Sawyer. It has been awhile since I have commented on one of your videos. I am glad you are OK. Three times doctors told me they thought I had cancer. Twice they were wrong. I was never in the hospital overnight. I feel fine. Probably best to have the checkup. I had one tiny carcinoma on my face. It was removed in about one half hour with an office visit. I did not even have to take off my shirt. The worst part of the medical scare hits you when several months later you get a bill. It looks like you have a big bill but some parts are paid by insurance and whatever. Stay healthy. I am glad you and I don;t drink. I think that is the reason I am still around. Thanks for the video.

[@nicolefrigon8045]

I have terrible health based anxiety and I’m going through a bit of a health thing right now, this is exactly how I’m feeling. I really needed this, thank you.

[@jennifermilbrath3635]

Absolutely love “If you have a fear, which everyone has a fear I believe, the fear of facing it is often worse, I’ve found, than the fear itself”

[@klwl]

Facing mortality, be it one's own or another person's, can be a daunting process. Glad that you have identified the root cause of your discomfort and pain, as well as the life revelations that you have made! All the best!

[@billiebrown9768]

Sawyers FAMILY channel.. I mean!! I think it’s what we allll need! Way to go bud!

[@CrystleFTW]

After spending my whole life being relatively healthy - this past year threw me a curveball and I started dealing with some new health stuff. I have somehow also realized my health anxiety is through the roof even though I’ve always been ok? It’s a terrifying thing to deal with when you don’t know what’s wrong and then your brain goes to darker and darker places worrying about what it could be. I even went to a doctor and got blood work and everything came back fine - but i for some reason still can’t slow down my anxiety. It’s a brutal thing and you are definitely not alone. I’m also glad I’m not alone. Watching this made me feel better 🤍

[@shalynm2777]

Ever since I had my daughter 3.5 years ago I developed health anxiety. Listening to this was very eye opening. Thank you for sharing your story

[@soprismatic]

I can relate to an extreme fear of dieing and worrying about your own health. 3 years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. An aggressive form. I had an 11month old. I was devastated! Thank God I am still here... I also had elevated liver enzymes after chemo for some time. Was sent for multiple tests and 1 Dr told me it could be bone cancer...the pit on my stomach. The tears. All before he knew anything for sure. Thankfully levels went back to normal... but life is scary. Every day is a gift. It's a beautiful day to be alive!

[@ladybuggs11]

I had a pulmonary embolism in 2001. The doctors told me I was lucky I survived. At the time I had a 2-year old daughter. For a period of time I lived my life in fear of having another blood clot, so much so that I was wasting precious time stuck on what may happen. My mind was my own worst enemy. I had always been afraid of death, but dealing with my own mortality taught me what is really important in life. We have to live in today. Worrying about tomorrow only steals time. Live today to the fullest. I went to school and became a nurse. That experience changed the whole trajectory of my life. I can relate to other people’s experiences more than I could before. I have been able to help people through my experience. Sometimes we need a nudge to put us on the right path, and show us what is important to us in this life. Thank you for being vulnerable in sharing your experience. I wish you all the best.

[@nikoagrinzone]

My family faced a similar situation when I was around 6. My dad noticed he was drastically losing weight and had a feeling something was off, but didn’t think to get it checked out. It ended up turning into Stage 4 Colon Cancer, which later he told me could have been prevented if he has gotten it checked early on. Thank God he survived and is still here today. I’m relieved that your liver damage didn’t end up as fatal as it could have been. Your point on waiting to face conflict head on I truly one most including myself at times often neglect. Hope you’re doing well and staying healthy. Much love ❤️🙌🏼

[@BevSantini]

Sawyer, I've enjoyed your videos (Lightroom especially) and when I saw the title of this one, I was intrigued. First, and foremost, thank you for your honesty. It's okay to say you were scared. I've had cancer twice and the prognosis for the 2nd one was not good but here I am playing pickle ball, walking every day, and getting back into photography 3 years out. The only thing that got me through was my faith...it sustains me to this day. I'm so happy you had a good outcome. The challenge is to remember the lesson as you get further out from the event. Good luck with all your future endeavors!

[@DavisInDuval]

Health Anxiety is a real thing man, it’s not easy but I’ve gotten so much better. Stay strong out there to anyone dealing with it, message me if you’d like to reach out!

[@TheGroovyGuitarDude]

So happy to hear that you’re okay man, thank you for sharing your story with this! 🤙🏽

[@maruwaanmoses]

Sawyer you the friend that alot of us wish we had. Take care of yourself man.

[@Nestofboo]

As someone who’s just been diagnosed with a liver tumour (I’m still waiting to find out if it’s cancerous or not) this video hit me a little differently. I’m glad you’re doing okay but I’m sorry you had to experience this. It’s great you’ve learnt important things from this though.

[@ThunderousMuffin]

Hoping things turn out for the better ✌️

[@Amanda-md2yy]

Sending you well wishes and good luck. Sorry to hear that.

[@manonmincieli7309]

I pray for you doll that it is not cancerous and all goes well with you ❤️

[@lanarose3783]

Praying for you sweet angel

[@missm72]

Praying for you ❤️

[@Itsthestargazer]

Put a ring on her finger and stop waiting!! 💕💍 You guys are definitely ready and living in the fear of the unknown will get you nowhere. I am so happy you are getting things figured out!

[@JHawk]

Glad you’re ok man!

[@SidneyDiongzon]

Wow man, this hits real deep. Glad you feel refreshed man!

[@sidneynorth3070]

hey cool name!

[@LoveTheshortestone]

Wow. This was such an honest video. It really encourages me to speak out about my anxiety more than I do. Although mine isn’t super horrible, I still have it. I’m on a very low dose of meds for it. It’s hard to cope some days. Some days I have bad anxiety. Other days it’s manageable. Thank you for being open and honest.

[@PureLifeFamily]

Love conquers all fear! That is a deep revelation that you discovered it. Congratulations!!!! You could also research and find many books on love and life after death, both subjects that we can’t see, but is a deep part of our life. We were for the most part created from love, lived 10 months in a womb preparing for our life as we know it hopefully for a good 100 years, which may be growing our heart of loving relationships to prepare us for the spiritual life of eternity! Dive deep bro!!!

[@soscenicphotography194]

Brother so happy to know that it wasn’t as serious as it could have been. Facing those moments is a huge part of growing up. You can’t scare the bad things away and facing them early enough often buys you that much more time. Cheers to you and your partner in crime wishing you both many blessings of good health and strong foundations. See ya after the pandemic brother! Sending good vibes from Florida !

[@sheapohar8258]

I had a stroke back in May and I have a blood clot on my brain I almost died it is scary! It is crazy I'm so glad you are okay! Sending so much love your way fear is okay we have similar fears I'm hear with you buddy!

[@juliejulie1545]

Hi Sawyer, have been watching your videos since before you met Angelique. It's great to see your devotion to your personal and professional development over the years. Yes, that check engine light will start to flash every now and again and sometimes, it can get real scary. I'm glad you made this video for the viewers to take their health seriously and not let anything slide. Prevention is always the best medicine. Hope to hear wedding bells coming soon. My wedding wish for you is to say "may all your troubles be little ones." You're going to be a great set of parents someday. Best wishes.

[@marc5117]

Great message. The transparency of your feeling is refreshing!

[@melissathompson9518]

I 100% understand anxiety will drive you crazy. Thank you for sharing your story it really helps to know there are others out there!! Glad your ok!!

[@whosyourbrad]

Glad to hear you are ok!!❤️❤️❤️ I loved listening to the what you learnt part.

[@jljones1914]

I think the worst is knowing something's wrong but not getting a firm diagnosis. Once you have an answer, then you can take action. Not knowing gives your mind free reign. Stay strong, keep your mind in check. Don't forget to seize the day! Do not waste time.

[@meganblack7921]

Haven't watched you in years but I fully enjoyed this video so relatable as a overthinker. Thank you for sharing your story 💓

[@nickjonas303]

Fear of death is not irrational my friend, I hope that everyone is reading is able to find some peace in living a long beautiful life. The possibility of that being gone is scary, your fears are rational!

[@georgiacaitlin5557]

"you shouldn't have to put yourself through that much suffering in order to ultimately save yourself from yourself" - I won't lie, I replayed you saying that over and over for a little while.

[@kaylafaith89]

Wow Sawyer! You’ve truly become an amazing man! I pray for your health and your prosperous future! The best is yet to come!!

[@MrOmniscience]

I have had very serious health anxiety. Nothing to be ashamed about. I thought I had everything for at least a year.

[@Polynasian808]

Blessings to you brother. Thank you for your transparency

[@RedImaginationbyGG]

Dude .. thanks for opening up! Many people real scare in doing this. You're awesome!

[@zagaliggle]

It takes a few second or minutes of bravery, but overcoming the fear, as in your case, could save a life. Love you Sawyer, wishing you the best!

[@EquinoxElizabeth]

I absolutely adored this video, Sawyer. Such a great message. And I’m glad to hear that you’re okay.

[@JonathanKSims]

Man. This is heavy. I’m so glad you’re alright tho. Praying for continued health. This video is raw and amazing. And helpful. Leave your legacy man. I totally get that need. I’ve got 4 kids. It’s crazy and beautiful and hard. But so worth it.

[@mezmaeyesmaryannpennington5592]

I watched this video twice, thank you for your honesty. Sending love and peace your way. thank you for being so real.

[@pam123456789100]

Sawyer, I don't know if you have any idea of the impact your honesty has on people with the same fears and health anxiety. As one myself, I have wished that a public personality talks about this and shares experience. You have not only done that, but also shared a way to relieve it. So thank you, for your honesty and vulnerability! A year ago I was in the same place + having panic attacks daily and different health issues that turned out to be psychosomatic, but felt like being close to death. I, too, realized I was not as afraid of dying as I was of not experiencing the important stuff for me before that. Currently in the process of doing all that and i've never felt more alive and ready to face anything. I wish you and all the amazing humans around here the same!

[@meggiej55]

I’m so happy you’re ok, Sawyer! Prayers and blessings being sent to you. This was an amazing video and sooo incredibly true.

[@JJMedusa]

-- Oh my goodness. I hope and pray that you get better soon and that you are OK.

[@beccamitchell05]

Thanks for being honest and real and not worried about being a cool KZbin person. Love it

[@beccamitchell05]

PS - kids are awesome!

[@tinahindi]

Today was the first time I actually subscribe to your channel. From time to time I would pop into your page to see what you been up too and Angelic as well. Two good looking people but never subscribed. I even love your story time on how you meet Angelic and use the dog to see her again but didn't subscribe. Even all your travel video to Bali and other place but today was the day. I am glad to hear you are doing well.

[@MarijaDreams]

This hits home!!! I'm terribly afraid of cancer cause both of my parents had it that I'm super afraid of getting tested frequently. I should just go and get tested 🙌 Thank you for this push ♡

[@sosarahb]

I have a HUGE fear of death/dying, to the point where I’ve had major panic attacks about it. I’ve only recently told my husband within the last year or so, and I’ve known him for over 15 years. For me, it’s the fear of nothing being there. Darkness. No thoughts. I have long been in need of a diagnosis of generalized anxiety/depression and I, like you, have been too afraid to take that initial step. Thank you for bringing this up! Glad to hear that you are doing better, physically and mentally! ❤️

[@DianaGladney]

Praying for you man! So sorry to hear you endured that but I'm glad for the transformation that happened for you. Having gone through my own health issues, I get the fear part but I'm glad you overcame that fear! More than a conqueror brother! 100%

[@Glassflowrrrs]

watching this while I'm trying to take a leap of faith for myself.. if it's scary, do it anyways, you'll be scared the whole time. all of those self-motivational quotes and ideas are real, i am the only thing standing in my way. this comment is for me but in any case, life is short and it is wasted on waiting for the right moment.

[@Defiantsnow]

Wow, this was a powerful video. So glad that you are ok and look forward to what happens next with the 2 of you.

[@StarsGoeBlue]

Sawyer! Felt like seeing an old friend when I saw your thumbnail ❤️ This is scary shit, and sad that you had to go through all of this. But man you’re so strong! So glad for this video and for your vulnerability. Thank you for sharing! So glad you feel better ☺️💛

[@gibsonhomestead6793]

Glad you are doing better! Awesome that you are growing from the pain you endured.

[@pony0fishy]

I went through the same thing Sawyer, weirdly i’m still a subscriber because I was a juicystar fan 10 years ago LOL. My biopsy came back clear, but man was it isolating finding out something was wrong. So glad you’re healthy my friend!

[@letai1701]

Oh my god I can relate to you so much. I’m super self aware so I notice everything that changes with me or feels different and I have an immense fear of dying or finding out i’m dying. My biggest fear is that cancer is living in my body and I just won’t know about it until it’s too late. Thank you for talking about this I didn’t know other people were like this. Also I’m glad you’re okay!

[@RochelleFoxTV]

POWERFUL video Sawyer. Proud of you for posting this. Sending you love and healing x

[@teacope]

Sometimes the best Revelations come from fear. In a positive sense Glad your doing better.

[@littlebocreep_]

You’re not the only one who feels the way you do about life. Shit can get scary! Wishing you the best!

[@akaviagem5349]

Hi Sawyer , as I am following you over 5 years, I'm touched by the pain you were facing. I had this fear when I was ill from Corona last Christmas. But after overcoming it ,I am even more aware of what matters in my life. And believe me ,kids are the strongest anchor when you get older. So thanks for your frankness about such personal thoughts. Kopf hoch - head up! Yours A.K. from Berlin Germany

[@sandramillett8267]

You unknowingly have helped some guys out there you will never know. Bless you Sawyer.

[@stargazer5073]

Sawyer, thanks for sharing. God bless you

[@Mrsnjb]

This is such a beautiful story. I am literally struggling with something so similar at the moment and usually facing reality scares me, but your video game me hope and motivation. Thank you.

[@lissapacker9265]

Cannot believe how much I related to all of this. I have the worst health anxiety that just like you I avoid getting checked out if I’m worried in fear of the outcome. It really makes no sense to me when I type it out hahah. Thank you for this reminder to just face it!!!

[@shellsisacoolpear]

I'm currently going through some health issues, so I understand your feelings and thought processes 100%. I actually have an appointment in exactly 2 weeks with a specialist after waiting since May wondering and worrying about what is wrong with me. I very very fortunately have a friend with a lot of the same symptoms and he's completely okay and it's nothing overly bad, so that helps me keep the depression and fear down. I've also seen the dentist for the first time in years, the optometrist, I have a lady test this fall and I'm getting my vaccines boosted. It's the year of health for me.

[@karagordo1991]

I fully understand when you spoke about the pain in your back and that as I have gallbladder stones and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy and I’m just lucky enough to get mine removed in three months and I have watched your channel for absolute years and seeing how much you have grown and just getting over your fear is inspirational it has taken me years to get over my fear of needles and I’m still getting there keep doing what you’re doing sawyer

[@MartinV.]

stay healthy and safe dude! everyone be safe out on the streets!

[@EverydayOcurrences]

Heavens yeah!!!!! So good!!! I'm so proud of you. 8 minute mark was just bomb

[@AngelaNicolexo0729]

You remind me so much of Scott disick! In looks . Don’t worry he’s handsome :) I’m so glad your okay and great video! Thanks for sharing 💗

[@TheFloodFamily]

You're incredible, Sawyer! Thanks so much for being vulnerable.

[@user-tp4fr4ij1p]

good for you, good luck brother.

[@WakeUpMatt]

Love it man. Appreciate the honesty!🤙🏼

[@TJHooper123]

Almost all the anxiety I have in my life is health anxiety, and it's strange because even at 33, I've never been seriously sick or injured. (Knock on wood) and I think that's what scares me the most cause it's like, I've cheated bad health for a while and I have it coming to me. And when it does, it's going to take me out.

[@shellsisacoolpear]

This is exactly how I feel. I've had such bad health anxiety this year and I'm like "this is it, whatever is wrong with me will be the end" It's tough.

[@Alexxx9819]

Thanks for making this video! I have health anxiety and a fear of death too, it helps to know others feel exactly the same. Therapy/CBT might be helpful for you.

[@chlare7684]

Appreciate you sharing this 🙃 sending you and your family tones of positive vibes and love! 🥰🥰🥰

[@PetersPoint]

Glad to hear you’re well. I was freaked out that you had some sort of health problem. I hope it’s all ok now. Thanks for sharing. It’s Peter from Buffer Festival, btw. All the best to you and Angelique.

[@MandiLunau]

Glad to hear your working on your health!! Sending lots of love your way !

[@melissaceli8144]

♡ Glad to hear you are good 🙏

[@kimoaks6999]

Grateful you are okay! Thank you for your truth.

[@manonmincieli7309]

God bless you Sawyer ❤️ I’m glad that you are okay and I pray that everything is okay from here forward

[@AdventuringwithTrevor]

Glad youre all good man! Hopefully your liver goes back to being 100% soon after switching medications and look forward to future content 🤙🏻

[@MyiniaArt]

You look so different.....happy you are fine. I can see the fear still in your face...💜🙏

[@4theWINMEDIA]

I just went through the exact same thing. I totally feel ya. Glad you’re ok.

[@ademola5803]

I share your pain mate. I'm in a similar but different position like yours but I do have three kids. I'm saving up for an operation because I've waited for 20 years of dilly-dally waiting for free treatment that will never happen. I only stumbled upon this video because I wanted to revisit that video you posted at the hubble studio in 2018 with Brian, the celebrity photographer. Sorry to hear and I wish you as ll the best.

[@flufferduff007]

I could feel the realness in this video and I appreciate that 🙏🏼

[@ItsAmyCastle]

Thank you for this, Sawyer. So glad to hear that you’re okay, that you know what’s going on, and that you’re free of the stress. Wishing you all the best!

[@enricodominguez1498]

I just wanna let you know that I have followed you for almost 5 years now and you're vids helped me get inspired making vids and to travel/explore. Thank God your OK and safe. You guys should really move to a new episode of life now 😏. Hope more blessings for you to come and will continue to follow youu. 😎😎

[@highmountainmama8020]

So glade you're feeling better and will continue to get better. What is human life really suppose to be about? Finding that one partner that fits your life and bringing new life into that life and love. It will change your life in ways you'll never fully understand until you bring that new life into this world. Sending light and love your way!

[@natethenielsen]

This has been me all year. I needed this.

[@deusaero5195]

Bro. I went through this same process waiting on MRI and blood results thinking all the negative stuff..For me it was being afraid of dying and leaving my kids and wife behind after just starting a family. I pray that you eventually get to that place if mental peace and positivity.🙏🏼

[@shyannemaureenfast]

Sawyer! It's funny you say you're ready for family life. I started watching your video and went "woah! He leveled up. He looks like a dad now, grown up, looks more mature overnight". So, moral of the story.. welcome! You already fit the shoes ! 😊

[@thusithadananjaya9610]

Wish you, good luck man.

[@EricaUrr]

Wow I haven't seen your videos in over 3 years. Wild. I'm so glad you're doing better 🥰

[@MarijaDreams]

And all the best for your future family ♡♡

[@kcsales1990]

So glad everything turned out to be ok . I can totally relate to this video and I appreciate you taking them time to film this ! It’s a very empowering feeling once you have realized your fear and how your fear may not be as scary as you once thought it was ! Wishing you the best moving forward !

[@RGMGFitness]

1st..glad your okay. But honest question. What was it you were taking that caused the liver damage to begin with. Think that might prevent someone from doing the same…

[@MaxApartin]

Take care, dear!!! Be strong and healthy!!!

[@laurarivers1036]

As someone who is also a hypochondriac, the beginning is too relatable. I'm glad you're doing OK

[@lifelikejosie]

Loved this! thank you for sharing this discovery, Sawyer!

[@Lizraeg]

Honestly when I think about death I start to contemplate the end of “ME” my thoughts, my me-ness. It trips me up every time

[@Lizraeg]

I also am the person who completely avoids the doctor. I’m trying to move past that right now but all the hoops I have to jump through financially and with insurance makes it even harder

[@Jacqueline888]

same lol

[@4TheStalkerGirl]

I had the exact same thing...for me it was because of 12 years of taking the birth control pill. My liver was having a hard time filter all those hormones after so many years so I had to stop taking it and in a couple of months my blood work where perfectly fine