I Told Family NOT TO COME To My Wedding Due To My Sister's Actions r/Relationships

[@kazooietrisha]

Sister from first story just cost the whole family a free vacation, but everyone will point the finger and blame op sadly

[@audreym3908]

🙄🙄🙄 me at the parents and family when they realized they lost a really good deal too. Hope their friends could facepalm them to realized it and that it was too little to late.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

@@audreym3908 Seriously??? Who the f*ck would want to be stuck with a crazed Psycho like OP for an entire week even if it is in a mansion. She is certifiable. People weren't turning down their invitations because of a child free wedding or backing the sister, they simply didn't want to be caught up in the drama that is OP's life.

[@jamiesatyr1309]

I'm amazed how people have totally different POV's concerning the same facts. For many, even presented with a free dream vacation, it wasn't enough. So many stories out there with the same greedy "bent." I wish I knew someone like that so I can go NC immediately following insensitive comments from them; no second chances. Spreading rumors will get more people cut out just like what happened in this story. ;-)

[@jasonrustmann7535]

For real, wish i knew OP lol I'd be all to happy to fill any empty slots she's got in the guest list lol

[@Eclipsiscv]

They might not have even wanted to go. I know if I had to choose between a free vacation that was paid by someone else but that I had zero input in or paying for something that I know I’m actually going to enjoy I’d pick the one I pay for. I’m not wasting vacation days off work for something that sounds boring even if it’s free.

[@Russman67]

Story 1: You know what? Asking for everyone with children to manage their own child care is more than reasonable. OP has also made arrangements that the parents can pay for, that would allow for child care. The sister has decided to force the issue and OP held firm. I love the line "all that you're doing is saving me money". That shows what a shiny spine she has. Not the asshole

[@jamiesatyr1309]

I wouldn't have hesitated when undermined, insulted, and threatened by family to go NC. ;-)

[@sgm8265]

People complaining and insulting OP are mad they aren't getting that free, child free, vacation. How selfish of OP. 🙄 They shouldn't mind OP going NC.

[@marthas.4456]

I disagree. If you have small children you don't want to leave them with a stranger for the all week. Yes, the sister wouldn't have any other option just to leave her kids with a stranger, because all family members are at the wedding.... Would you do that? Let a complete stranger to cater for your little babies for the all week, so you can go on a fun holiday???? I wouldn't.

[@Loaves_of_Cat]

@@marthas.4456then they can just not go to the wedding

[@boutux]

​@@marthas.4456 Why is it OP's problem that her sister might be uncomfortable with a stranger babysitting her kids? The sister has 3 options: (1) accept and pay for the childcare OP offered, (2) find and pay for her own child care or (3) not go to the wedding. The sister is unreasonable expecting demanding OP pay for her childcare on top of the vacation. And with her sister generally being an AH she can kick rocks. OP should go NC.

[@catandrobbyflores]

People seem to forget if the couple is paying for everything and even if they aren't, they can boot anyone from coming to the wedding. Jeez her family sounds like a total nightmare.

[@audreym3908]

Yep

[@marthas.4456]

it's not about who is paying... It's about leaving small children with a complete stranger for an entire week so the adults can have some 'fun'...

[@lastwords3784]

​@@marthas.4456 So dont come to the vacation and only go for the wedding it self, and do not make a big deal about it. She is paying, parents should stop being so entitled. And another thing is, the sister wanted op to pay for childcare, she doesnt care about leaving them with strangers as long she isnt the one paying.

[@ohno7153]

@@marthas.4456 then don’t go, no one will miss you/them anyway lmao.

[@angelicakaufman7183]

It seems some people don't understand that the no contact threat isn't because people want to bring their children on it's because people want to manipulate the op with a threat and they just aren't down with that

[@Angelgirl18647]

Story 1: If I was OP's sibling and I found out that my sister ruined a chance for me to get a bomb ass all expense paid vacation funded by my sibling in a mansion, I WOULD BE LIVID

[@anonymousbrooks8194]

Same here, I'm trying to live the Instagram model dream.

[@sakatababa]

being a minion for a bridezilla is not a vacation. it would only be a vacation if op didn't dictate anything, so no rules, no itinerary, no hint of this "screw you guys, i'm going home" attitude. vacation my ass...

[@davidlionheart2438]

@@sakatababa So.......OP's vile sister and her equally vile, manipulative, and grossly ungrateful family can dictate her own wedding to her and you're fine with that, but somehow she's a bridezilla for not putting up with their egregious shit??? Sweetie, is anyone aware that you're off your medication?

[@sakatababa]

@@davidlionheart2438 i had to read the story again just to verify i didn't miss a genocide or three. nope. still the same story. my comment still stands. she is a bridezilla (and appears proud of it), she threatened to go no contact first over the attendance, required the presence for a week without children with itinerary for all of that week (that is not a vacation, that is being a servant) and would not cover child care. she is forcing separation of children from her mother without any care for the children. and it is not her that is "vile" but her sister that is saying "i'm not going without my kids or knowing my kids will be taken care of". is that "insult" about medication, perchance, projecting? i don't live in the usa and am not overly medicated. we deal with our crap and don't cater to big pharma.

[@0potion]

@@sakatababa she also had over a year to find someone to take care of her fucking kids... it is not the posters job to find childcare for the sisters kids when the parents HAD NO PROBLEM playing for the siblings babysitters........

[@Syriihime]

I'm so baffled by the comments calling 1st OP spoiled, entitled, childish, etc. Its like the people on reddit read the story with their eyes closed. She offered her several compromises, she just didnt want to take them because she felt entitled to a free vacation AND free childcare AND her sister's wedding being all about her and her wants.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

Did you hear her ranting like a Psycho??? I'm sure the people were turning down the invitations because they didn't want to be stuck with her in a mansion for a week. It had nothing to do with the childfree wedding, they just didn't want to be around the OP. I bet she and her hubby are now divorced.

[@Amelia073]

Cuz she is spoiled and childish. She’s totally within her rights to make her wedding child free, but the way she conducts herself is ugly. The whole family seems to suck.

[@shellb5023]

I'm scratching my head why OP is still allowing her sister into her life AT ALL! At the end of the update she talks about babysitting sisters kids after all of this chaos! WHY??? Golden Child my BUTT! Entitled out the ass is more like it and until people in the family pull their head out of their ass she will continue to act this way. Protect yourself OP and you hubby and future kids by staying away from her. You don't want any kids seeing how she acts AND gets away with it!

[@carlrood4457]

I'd say some of it has to do with jealousy of wealth. Paying for a big family vacation at a mansion isn't something many people can do. I am questioning one thing. It didn't sound like sister's kids were welcome at the rental place at all and she was expected to leave them home. Child care for a few hours each day for the wedding and activities is a bit different from 24 hour childcare for the duration.

[@NerdilyDone]

She's not wrong about that, she's wrong for going about it confrontationally.

[@joshuarichards8065]

Story 1 Family: If you don't cater to your sister's demands we won't come to your wedding OP: Pfff, well ok then. Family: Wait you weren't supposed to do that.

[@BeastlyEevee]

I'm laughing at the people calling OP in the first story an asshole. Like how dare she be responsible and have boundaries? Just let everyone walk all over her! XD Good on OP, we need more healthy attitudes like that.

[@PaulaSB12]

I can understand a children free for a day but a week

[@Kairos_Akuma]

@@PaulaSB12 They had Babysitters tho. OP paied for all of it, so she can set her damn boundaries. And I'm sure OP wouldn't have said anything if the Sister asked if they can do something with the kiddos by themselves. But Sister is the golden Child. Nothing more nothing less.

[@επιθετικόακτινιδιο]

I can t believe it either. Maybe sometimes in other cases OP are AHS, but the same goes for commenters. Op is literally paying for everything and yet she is expected to pay for nannies too? Also, she was absolutely right in wanting to go NC, because people were canceling out of spite, not lack of convenience

[@Eclipsiscv]

@@Kairos_Akumano they didn’t. The babysitters were for the fiancé’s little brothers. OP’s younger sibling is a teenager and doesn’t even really need a babysitter but her parents are still paying for it (most likely to make things cheaper on the fiancé’s family). The sister would have to find a short term nanny of some sort willing to stay with the children for 7+ full days at home while they travelled out of the area. The cost of a babysitter for a few hours at a time while you go wine tasting and stuff is going to be tons cheaper than paying a nanny to stay with your kids for an entire week plus travel time. Paying $2500+ to go on someone else’s dream vacation seems extremely unappealing.

[@reedee5561]

​@@Eclipsiscv Kids were welcome at the vacation! The parents only needed to pay for babysitting during adult activities that the parents participated in. OP even had the owner of the mansion provide a list of locally approved babysitters for her family!

[@1964Puddles]

1st story: that sister is a freaking train wreck. Dang, I'd go NC with her, peace is a beautiful thing and worth protecting. NTA.

[@Davtwan]

Her sister and a bunch of family defending her giving up an mostly all-expense paid vacation with adult family bonding all over not dropping a couple hundred for some snot goblins. Oh and likely giving up future relationships with OP’s children too. What a bunch of clowns.

[@viddergrapho8488]

OP is a boss and she is incredible, I wish she were my sibling, like damn. Absolutely needs to cut off her trashy toxic sister tho.

[@juliemcgugan1244]

And the leaching family who are only interested in placating sister so they can get a free, fun holiday. OP should print out all of their reactions, in written form, to remind herself in the future why she went NC with them.

[@Davtwan]

@@melodyharpole8272 - Some of kids were banned but not everyone. Dumping that many children on a babysitter, even in a high-class vacation home, would have been too much. There’s nothing wrong with having adult family bond together in an outing, especially when OP has made accommodations for several children already to prevent boredom. Not to mention there’s the whole wedding where everyone, including the children that were able to go, can bond. Yeah, I hardly see any fault with OP here. She’s already did so many planing and was paying everyone’s travel expenses to boot. This is definitely more other family members than OP being “psycho.”

[@queenlily2356]

@@melodyharpole8272 they only made exceptions for their direct siblings who are children. So, while it is not 100% child free, the rest of the guests are also held to the child free thing

[@vanzy01]

Story 1: I love this Op. Finally at original poster with self respect and not putting up with any BS. And f*** those people that gave her a hard time it's her and future husband party they can have it have the hell they wants.

[@scotte8629]

I don't, think it lacked maturity. The screwed and cancel because you didn't like how unperceived you were (and honestly seeing whole story makes me thinks she is leaving things out to paint the rosy picture for herself).

[@danedee6563]

@@scotte8629 she lacks maturity because she’s standing up for her self? do you know how many doormats we see on Reddit? how many people are willingly letting themselves get abused and mistreated and taken advantage of because they don’t know how to stand up for themselves? OP is paying for everything the family has a year to plan and prepare childcare for the wedding trip. There’s nothing to complain about. So if they want to act the way they’re acting then OP has every right to tell them off.

[@cheerio3847]

@@scotte8629 I think something is definitely left out! Something is odd in how the sister is a nightmare and everyone supposedly knows it because that's just how she is etc. But then all the family is supporting her and saying they won't be there without her and her kids? If she was such a nightmare, then that whole entire extended family would be happy she wouldn't be around and they could enjoy the trip without the crazy. Those situations don't mesh, something is off and she either is only a nightmare to her sister and parents, or the rest of the family wanted to bring kids as well or were maybe looking for an excuse to get out of the weeklong plans. For me, if she wanted so badly to bring her kids, she should have just arranged her own lodging and local babysitters and understood her kids wouldn't be welcome at the main house for liability issues. Her kids, her entire constant responsibility and she can bear her own costs. I support people not wanting children at their wedding, although my old self doesn't personally agree, it is THEIR wedding and things are different from when I was that age. Kids nowadays can be terrors and often haven't been taught any manners or public behavior and the parents will sometimes just sit there while the kid goes nuts. The town I grew up in, part of the church fee included the nursery ladies to watch kids during the ceremony and sometimes for up to 2 hrs after if the reception was in the church hall. People could choose to use the free service or not, but if they didn't and the kid acted up - there would be a lot of head shaking and laughter at the parents and comments of "Bet they go with the nursery next time!" Nobody wanted to have the church full of neighbors laughing at them as they dragged their tantrum child out of the room! So, I guess I don't really see kids at a wedding as an issue because it was always dealt with quickly and destination holiday style weddings just weren't a thing in that area. Expecting people to spend half of their yearly vacation time on YOUR vacation just wasn't going to happen. It surprises me when people plan these long events and expect enthusiastic compliance. Its not always about the money, often its just about the lost vacation time for family on the vacation planned.

[@middaydraws3379]

@@cheerio3847 I don't think much is left out. Golden children are just that and the 'lesser' children are always stuck fighting for their parent's attention. There are families out there who outright favor a kid so much that they don't care if they lose the others unless they need them for looks. Parents with golden children also tend to manipulate their extended family members in favor of the Golden child. There also tends to be a reason the child is a golden child. Either they're just like one of the parents, got sick when younger, or many others reasons. Also most child free weddings I've been to or read about there is always that one parent who wants their child to be involved in everything and expects people to bend to them. Also luckily OP wasn't the ones expecting people to do but gave them the option to have the vacation with them.

[@elalogar7340]

@@cheerio3847 Without her, they might have a lovely time on their vacation paid by OP, but when they returned, the sister would give them hell, and that not just for a week or a month, but for months or even years, if what OP said about how she still have to listen how she refused to give her cat to her nephew a while back, is any indication.

[@mgen278]

Story 1: I am absolutely confounded by the comments calling OP TA, even before the updates. No one should even have to hear that the sister is the Golden Child to figure that a holiday which is paid for with the one exception of a babysitter makes OP NTA & is actually pretty freakin' generous. Eye rolling so hard I'm seeing trails.

[@TiaNichole17]

Me too, Reddit is weird

[@rubymeaddle]

Because she's a woman being assertive

[@kisstune]

@@rubymeaddle Nah if the roles were reversed like "I bought my kid to my sister's child free wedding AITA" they'd jump done her throat about it being the brides day and brides rules and "what do you mean you can't find a babysitter or make plans for the kids in 18 months" type of thing. Redditors pull the same thing such as a guy leaves toxic/controlling gf and he's TA but girl leaves toxic/controling bf and she NTA.

[@rubymeaddle]

@@kisstune uh. You like. Missed the story details didn't you?

[@bautistalover]

@@rubymeaddle nah it’s the my kids are allowed every where brigade.

[@Bleg94]

1. Story: after the last update ... OP just had enough of her sisters entitlement, which is understandable even before knowing everything I would've said NTA, but to calm down, with the last update the NTA is even more clear

[@Davimez]

This, that sister is such a b. But, she'll be back when she needs something. I was laughing when she said she never wanted to see op again I was like. PROMISE. The rest of the family are just mad cause now they have to deal with the sister entitlement. Well sucks for them I guess

[@Bleg94]

@@Davimez yeah, I somehow hoped that OP answers "Is that a promise" or something along the lines, but that would've just started another probably even bigger drama

[@scotte8629]

think there is a jealousy aspect going. Going NC for what was described is pure NONSENSE.

[@e.w9641]

story 2, you could just feel the love the father has for his son in the first post and I'm super happy it had the perfect update. Stories like that are the true treasures of reddit.

[@robertx8020]

True but then I remember some coments from story one and I get pulled back in reality :(

[@kezzmoon8917]

🤗🤗❤❤👌

[@keul2704]

Story 1: absolutely NTA. Love that Reddit wants to jump down OP’s throat and pretend that she is just wanting to go NC because they won’t show up. She wants to go NC BECAUSE OF THE REASON THEY SAID THEY DON’T WANT TO GO. The family isn’t saying no because of the no kids rule, they are saying no because they want the sister to be there, regardless of the rule. OP wants to go no contact not because of the people rejecting the invitation, but because they are doing so by trying to manipulate her into breaking the rule for family. They are being manipulative and incredibly rude and disrespectful to OP by telling them that they need to break their rule and pick favorites. I seriously hope that Reddit quickly removes the parasitic slug from their brain and realizes that they are just being incredibly unfair and siding with the people who are being manipulative abusers. Absolutely brilliant work, Reddit.

[@saracoelho2696]

Honestly, on the first read I thought they were refusing to go because of difficulties with money and paying the babysitting. But that’s clearly not the case. They are using their attendance as a bargaining chip and trying to manipulate op that way

[@WobblesandBean]

That's because AITA subreddit is a total Mommy Cult. "How _dare_ she not let her hard working, beautiful sister bring her pweshus baybees?? What a monster!"

[@ju4121]

Been to alot of weedings with kids and don't see difference, still people getting drunk and doing crazy things .. Don't see a problem but it's her wedding

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

Yeah, I think redit has a serious reading and comprehension deficit. They can't understand what they are reading and project their hurt feelings onto the story.

[@keplersdream901]

Yeah, but r/aita is very pro-Bitch (Mommie). They value the bitchy pregnant teenage girl over a successful 30s woman (or man). I've seen it numerous times, so I'm not surprised at the hate.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#1 - given the entire history of this massively entitled sister, who everyone seems to just cater to to get her to STUF, OP is NTA. To those upset with her about just cancelling the whole fucking thing (kudos to OP for this power move, btw) take a step back and consider this was all caused by OP's sister throwing another tantrum and demanding shit and this one time, OP had had enough and put a dead stop to her BS once and for all. I'd go as far as suggesting she not do anything ever again for that ungrateful bitch.

[@NCAnon]

My petty ass would put the sister on blast across every social media platform available. Let everyone know how much of a [redacted] she has been from the very beginning

[@eljay1980]

It makes me wonder if the people who are upset at the destination wedding being cancelled are more upset at no longer getting a fab holiday and activities paid for by someone else. I'd do the exact same as OP if I were put in that situation.

[@juliemcgugan1244]

That’s exactly it! They are p!$$ed that they are not getting a free, fun holiday. Funerals and wedding brings out the worst in people. OP should keep everybody’s reactions In written form, to remind herself why she went no-contact with them. They sound like a bunch of parasites.

[@sakatababa]

you do understand history has no influence to the current situation other than biasing op to fight with her sister? there is a reason why you can't refer to previous crimes if you are trying to convict someone to some unrelated crime. besides op has a ton of manipulative flags all over her posts. if anything, i am very reluctant to take her word for how her sister behaved in previous situations...

[@Cavolfipriecapperi]

Yeah, but the groom family got penalized too for something that wasn't their fault, and if my siblings didn't invite me to their wedding I'm not sure our relationship would ever recover

[@DemonAngel]

S1- Okay... Let me get this straight. So OP is paying, for everything, a grand trip that sounds awesome btw, wants a child free wedding but is making the exception for siblings (age difference and such, OP and Partners are younger and/or have children) because well OP loves them (obviously) and all they have to pay for is the baby sitter, that OP found, while the adults have fun? And then because Sister wants her children there (more like demanded and the wedding is more than a year out btw), she isnt going. So OP says "okay... dont come", now everyone is saying they arent going because of Golden Sibling isnt getting their way?? And OP doesn't want people that are holding this over her head as some kind of trump card so she doesn't want them there is that's the case. Do I have that right so far? Is that everything? Wow. Wowowowowowowow. And that's only 3 1/2 in. *eye roll* omfg... Wow. I just.... wow. After Updates: Called it .... Sister is the Golden Child, spoiled, and lazy. Pregnancy is not an excuse to be a major bitch to people who are going out of their way to help and being kind (medical aside obviously). It all started because of the Sister. The Sister. The damn sister. Wow. So used to getting her way even when people tell her "no". Wow. There is no other way to put it but "wow". OP is NTA at any point of this story. Not once. OP was willing to go above and beyond to help her parents, siblings, and soon to be In Laws. Wow. Reddit did it again. "Stand up for yourself and yours and partners day but not like that".

[@rogueshark23]

My only question for OP's sister is this who would breed with you?

[@DemonAngel]

@@rogueshark23 lol I spit my soda slightly. Thank you for that lol

[@golden_leader9227]

I cannot agree more. During the comments section of the video, while listening to the YTA comments, i was "wait...did we read the same post? wtf?" NTA at all.

[@DePhoegonIsle]

Honestly, the sister is a complete twat for sure, but OP is the kind of 'gal', that I geniunely don't think I could fucking stand. a spineless to your face, spiteful kind of person who doesn't see the shear amount of double standards she'll demand. Like honestly, I'm sure she's a nice person .. if you can some how avoid the dumb situations, but ... Come the f on. Do you really think you can tolerate that sort of 'well I'll shit talk you to others, but I can't be bothered to tell you to f off if you're being annoying'. Sorry, be even the most entitled insuffurable kinds of people (her sister comes off as), have a point when they can drag well over half the family with them onto their side, and a family that you can't say have bad judgement overall. I hope her marriage makes it, but really... NTA or TA (my opinion ESH), it doesn't matter as it just comes off as ... insufferable, and to even support your big day is seeming more like a chore than a celebration of a major life event (which i take as almost any excuse to have/be in/throw a party or family event for ... reasons X)

[@HackiePuffs]

@@DePhoegonIsle everyone has their limits and with how much OP was getting harassed by her family and the internet I would probably be pissed too

[@AndyyWithAY]

OP didn't do anything wrong. It's her wedding!! I'd be pissed if I'm giving someone a free vacation and they want you to pay for childcare too? Insane. NTA

[@Laurels-id6qo]

Totally all those ppl who called her an ass whole r probably the type to bring their kids to child free weddings, they all sounded kinda entitled themselves and its sad they guilted her out of her wedding

[@melodramatic7904]

Meh. To each their own. I made child friendly games at my wedding and it was a huge hit. My cousin in law hired someone to entertain the kids duringthe reception. I don't think I will ever be able to wrap my head around this child-free wedding idea. Plus it just seems to create drama for no reason (like if a sitter drops out at the last minute).

[@scorpiocarnage1055]

@@melodramatic7904 The only thing I agree in regards to child free is how it affects the number of people. Which then affects cost. So financially, it makes sense to limit people. Otherwise, child free is a confusing notion.

[@vanzy01]

@@melodramatic7904 that's great that you were able to make your wedding child friendly. A lot of people who have kids at a wedding don't even do that kids get bored easily and who's watching the kids when all the adults are preoccupied. If you can't wrap your head around child free wedding the think of it like a girls/guys night out. Just one night when all the adults get together and have fun doing the activity or going to the bar. Even the most well-adjusted parents have a date night to themselves.

[@vanzy01]

I don't get how people are confused by the idea of a child free wedding? It's a fairly New concept I just heard about it and I get it. Because it's a wedding it's supposed to be different or something and everyone must come?! Unless you one of those people who overly attach themselves to their kids this is not an issue.

[@jennywhite2462]

Story 2 I love it. What a great Dad. My Great Grandmother supported my Mom's cousin Steven when he came out in the 70's. She made it clear to all that anyone who gave Steven a hard time would be the one disowned. She kept her word too. Anyone who even gave Steven a dirty look was cut out. She was a great lady.

[@audreym3908]

😊🥰RIP Best Greatest Gr8 grandmother!

[@raeishimura]

As OP said, she's not going NC over the rule, she's going NC with anyone who is refusing to go out of spite over the situation. You're allowed to do that and be spiteful, but don't think there won't be consequences. Congratulations to her about cancelling the wedding. Talk about a freaking power move. Shut down the ENTIRE rude and spiteful family AND burned Reddit on top of that. "Oh, you all decided to call me the A-Hole for standing up for myself? Thanks for convincing me to cancel the wedding for my family lol!" Feels like a huge burn to Reddit, doing the exact opposite of what Reddit wanted to see happen, haha. I bet the comments on that one are seething

[@huntresswane9947]

Story 2 was very wholesome and we need more parents like op

[@NegativeAccelerate]

Yup turning his life around for his son is truly amazing

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 1: I don’t understand some of the YTA comments. Like they’re not invited to the wedding yet they feel entitled for OP to have kids at the wedding. If it’s a child free event don’t bring your kids or just don’t go. How hard is that to do? Clearly the sister just wants to go for the vacation not so she could be there for OP’s big day. I have read a lot of the stories where the bride/groom wonder if they are in the wrong for having a child free wedding when the people that are demanding to bring their kids also expect there to be an open bar and for catering to be adjusted to have stuff children can eat. Especially when it comes to the open bar, there’s a reason why open bar weddings are child free. There are a lot of adults that “just can’t enjoy a wedding without a drink“. Don’t need parents like that at an open wedding especially if the venue is not idealistic for children, like an outdoor wedding by a lake. The comment saying that child free weddings are “egotistical”…… do they not know the definition of that word? ATU: The sister is a spoiled entitled little Big itch. I mean literally telling her son in front of OP “maybe Aunty will let you have the cat when we leave“ as if putting OP on the spot will force her to give in and let her nephew leave with her cat. What a C U Next Tuesday.

[@jeanproctor3663]

Story 2- what a totally awesome Dad! He sounds like a wonderful guy to know and it's a shame that not all parents can be like this. Breed love and tolerance, not hate and mysogeny.

[@audreym3908]

And his son is also wholesome since he also didn't want to make his dad uncomfortable/awkward either.

[@alyzu4755]

Story one: Good for OP! I have 2 kids. If someone I know is having a child-free wedding, then I'll either get a sitter or stay home. Period.

[@vaporean_boylove.0w083]

Plus, it's an excuse to have some adult fun or overall adult time if that's possible. No worrying if the kids get into trouble at the wedding.

[@bluebeanie561]

"Wait until you have children" is such an eye roll response. We are talking about the NOW not the "wait".

[@someanon1984]

Some of those judgments are so weird because I've seen people come to AITA asking if enforcing their boundary on their childfree wedding when their family members get manipulative and pushy makes them TA. Reddit always says, resoundingly, NTA to those situations. Not just that, but they often seem deeply offended on the OP's behalf, implying that they would like to see the OP be more firm about their boundary. Now, someone's gone ahead and done that themselves but without Reddit's explicit permission first and now, people are divided. Are y'all for people having strong boundaries or not? Do they need to be approved by you first - is that the difference? This is an obvious NTA. Idk how people fumbled this one. EDIT: Also, I'd like to say that I came to this judgment before listening to the two updates. I know folks thought that the extra info would have make the situation more clear to people, but mmmm nah, I stand by my original comment that I'm still not sure how people fumbled this with the info they were originally given.

[@Miroslava_Ivanova]

I feel like people didn't pay that much attention to the original post, how else can you miss that it was all on the sister?

[@fr0stb1ght34]

@@Miroslava_Ivanova I swear reading/listening comprehension is a thing. I'm baffled by how they could have missed anything that made OP an azzhole.

[@dagnytheartist]

As someone who initially thought OP was the asshole, I admit I misunderstood some things and was getting a bad vibe about OP. I thought OP might be exaggerating the sister's reaction and I was convinced she was exaggerating the family's reaction and reading everyone in her family as being against her when they were really just saying "I can't come to the wedding because, like your sister, I can't afford a babysitter." But the update showed me I was wrong. I know that you're supposed to kind of trust these stories until shown otherwise, but this time I let my gut feelings get the better of me. To be clear, I never thought OP was the asshole for having a kids-free wedding and enforcing a boundary, I thought she was an asshole because I thought she was saying "if you don't come to my wedding (because you can't afford a babysitter), then I'm cutting contact with you because you don't support my wedding!" That was wrong.

[@thedarkestkinghtstar]

@@dagnytheartist I heard that too; the cutting contact if they don't come. Thought that was a bit asshole until I remembered she was reasonable about her sister not coming if she couldn't get childcare. Then I heard that the people saying they weren't coming decided they wouldn't come unless ES and her kids could come. That's completely different than going no contact with people that don't attend because they couldn't get childcare or had other obligations. What they are doing is called manipulation and they should be cut off. The updates only confused me more on how people were calling OP the asshole simply because they didn't cater to manipulation. OP sounded reasonable. They'd pay for a majority of the trip, weren't expecting anyone else to fund their wedding, and only requested the guests take care of childcare themselves for their own children. And if they couldn't? That's a shame but OP wasn't cutting contact with them. Just the ones using manipulation tactics.

[@saphiregood2550]

Fucking PREAACCHHHH GIRL!! Oml, i didnt think i could be so upset over this either😂😂

[@ThePinkBinks]

Not an exciting update? I must protest dear OP. I was like an excited dog wagging his tail with ears perked waiting for the happy update like it was a biscuit. 😁

[@LoveableNiki]

Story 1: NTA. Just because OP's partner has child siblings doesn't make everyone else's children able to attend. This makes sense to me. Sister is being entitled and TA. Everyone trying to manipulate OP into inviting sister's child are AHs as well.

[@scotte8629]

and the emotional blackmail response of NC is what makes a complete A$$$

[@Crazy-Cat-Lady-of-CA]

@@scotte8629 Hi spoiled golden brat of a sister. All you/they had to do was pay for childcare. If you/they didn't, act like a adult and STFU. Oh no had to drag family into it. Glad OP didn't negotiate with a emotional terrorist.

[@lexi6916]

@@scotte8629 they were emotionally blackmailing op.

[@rubymeaddle]

People say the same thing about the couple's children and children in the wedding party. "Oh your toddler is there? So why can't your mother's college roommate's granddaughter attend?"

[@HackiePuffs]

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!! 💙💖 Story 1: NTA. Alright we get it Reddit you love shaming bridezillas calm down a little. OP set a reasonable rule for the guests they can’t expect her to pay for everything on the vacation. And people are talking about OP’s attitude?? How about sister’s attitude when she didn’t get her way?? She should take this as a hard lesson that actions have consequences. Edit: wow Reddit you ruined a wedding I hope you’re happy with yourselves because you should really be ashamed of yourselves. Edit again: sister sounds entitled and spoiled. THERES your entitled person to attack Reddit. Bet you feel REALLL good about yourselves...

[@lillytheskeleton]

Sadly Reddit rarely is ashamed of bullying someone. It's why I almost never go onto the subreddit myself

[@DemonAngel]

I didnt even start the video and read your comment. Wow... I can only imagine how this will go now.

[@HackiePuffs]

@@lillytheskeleton now I’m glad I left it

[@scotte8629]

I was with OP and boundary until the NC with her and other supporters of the issue.

[@HackiePuffs]

@@scotte8629 I would have gone no contact too with how much they were willing to manipulate and gaslight OP

[@brandygiovinazzi3460]

I absolutely LOVE the second story!!!! OP is a great parent regardless of how life was at the beginning of him becoming a parent. He stepped up and did a wonderful job of getting on track for his kid when he realized his child truly needed him to do so. His love is unconditional, as it should be for parents but unfortunately it isn't the case far to often. Fabulous final update! 💗

[@audreym3908]

I loved hearing OP gushing about his love towards his son and his bf/adopted into the family thru relation and fatherly love too (I hope you understood what I meant to type out) and OP calling everyone online his adopted Reddit kids too. I also loved hearing this after that train wreck of the first story.

[@brandygiovinazzi3460]

@@audreym3908 I understand you perfectly and completely agree.

[@audreym3908]

@@brandygiovinazzi3460 😊

[@minaqzs]

That last story was so wholesome I can't even 🥺 He's like the best dad ever coming to reddit so ask for advice on how to make sure the boys are comfortable around him what an absolute sweetheart 💗 I don't comment a lot but really had to this time, was feeling anxious about having to take my exam tomorrow while I'm sick but this cheered me up a lot. Thanks, Mark you're great as always, hope you're having a lovely day/night!!

[@audreym3908]

Good luck on your exam, Mina!! Also, feel better! Get as much rest and vitamin C and fluids as possible (also after your exam too).

[@JupitersTears]

Let me tell ya he didn't want advice he wanted to brag about his awesome kid and I'm f*cking here for it haha

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Story 1: OP is NTA and she WAS when she had the no child rule with the only exceptions being her and her fiance's siblings. The sister ruined everything but then again, she DID expose everyone else for their true colors. Good thing OP cancelled the extravagant wedding because it was truly over the top and she doesn't need to spend so much money on ungrateful people. She and her husband can take their siblings on a family vacay in the future to make it up to them.

[@jamestown8398]

That's a good way to look at it. While it hurt at first, in the end everything worked out well for OP and Husband. I wish them both many happy years together away from sister and her flying monkeys.

[@DerekScottBland]

Your wedding is either child free or it isn't. Bride was a bridezilla from hell. You can't show favoritism like that and not expect pushback. "I don't want children around... unless these children that have a babysitter." OP's post and update show how much of a childish asshole she is.

[@scotte8629]

@@DerekScottBland I think both sides are wrong despite it seems to be a bridezilla thing. Not everyone can afford a 1 week baby sitter and paying for a BNB isn't exactly high cost split if not covered, so she is NOT going all out.

[@DerekScottBland]

@@scotte8629 - I'd give the sister a lesser YTA, but the gall of OP to go "it's a child-free wedding except for these kids that I want here" and not only be surprised at the blowback but also to react so childishly gives her the edge. No parent likes being told that their kids aren't as important as someone else's kids for a family event.

[@malcolmholder3149]

@@DerekScottBland and @Scott E, did you actually read the whole thing? The only children invited to the ceremony and reception were direct siblings not offspring of siblings. All other children needed to be watched by babysitters and even those direct siblings were to be watched by babysitters for the adult events which were being paid for by OP and Husband. This was a weeks vacation in a "MANSION" with many things to do and extra activities arranged and paid for, if you fly to St Lucia for a family holiday you pay and pay for child-minding at the hotel whilst you do adult events, here you only paid for the child-minding during specific adult events. I think OP was extremely generous as witnessed by the comments of some family members on both sides when it was cancelled, thankfully they all know why it was cancelled and who is to blame. I myself have a sister who is 12 years younger than me and had I got married in my early twenties of course she would have been there even if the wedding was child-free because she is my sister, however some of my younger cousins would naturally have been excluded if it was child-free. That is a decision made by the Bride and Groom as it is their day and everyone either accepts and goes along or doesn't come their choice Rules are Rules No Exceptions!

[@terrieBTSOT7]

Story 1: I believe that, had the wedding gone as according to plan, with no drama. Op and her husband would have offered future family vacations, expenses paid that INCLUDE the children. Sister cost them so much more than a wedding/vacation

[@amandab8433]

Story 2 : I so wish ALL parents were like this amazing man. I wish him, his son, and his new "son" nothing but the very best life has to offer. Story 1: F*ck everyone else, especially the sister, and have an amazing wedding, honeymoon, and life.

[@Sarahc-mn1tr]

Wedding story: cut the entitled sister out of ops life. She is not worth it. Nor is anyone backing up the entitled bench of a person. The dad of closeted/not closeted son: he is an amazing dad. Keep on being amazing.

[@jessicamccollumm]

The last story about the dad and his son has me crying at work and that level of love and support is just absolutely beautiful.

[@shellchenonceau6987]

The pregnant complaining sister: she is not your "soul" sister. She is a dna karmic test so you LEARN how to stand up to her toxic abuse using healthy strong BOUNDARIES, and you should go no contact without guilt. She blew it, not you.

[@KarmatheCorgi]

You know... I have a brother who is very toxic. Perhaps it will help me in healing from my trauma with him to think of him as my DNA karmic test?

[@LEfaHB]

'DNA karmic test' is so powerful lmaoo

[@projectjupiter5523]

i adore the phrase dna karmic test, you should honestly get that trademarked 😂

[@projectjupiter5523]

​@@KarmatheCorgiit is absolutely okay for you to view him like that for your healing! no-one is entitled to truly have a place in your life or family, only you get to decide if you actively want them around you. even if you grew up together, you can't force that bond if you've been mistreated or there's no love there. best of luck on your journey, i hope you have brighter days ahead!

[@valencrow]

The Dad in story 2 is so great that pure manliness is leaking from my eyes. The son must be a great man if he was raised by such a paragon of pure positive masculinity! Beautiful story! Drama is ok but stories about the best side of humanity are my real favorite.

[@lorifiedler13]

The kid is amazing if he was raised by an abusive mother. I hope the son had therapy once dad got custody.

[@dopaminedrought395]

I literally cried at the last story 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 we love a supportive dad 😭😭😭

[@luciferandassociates9255]

Story 1: Now That's a Queen. Stand Tall, Stand Proud. Be a loving and caring person, but also Be the asshole you need to be when the situation calls.

[@vampireghosteyesvc]

Happy Valentine’s Day! In my country this is also a day for friendship, so hope you enjoy it with your friends as well!

[@indianspartan76]

Story 2: I remember this story and OP. Love that dude, so wholesome

[@LadyBern]

Number 1. I read this on reddit and what pissed me off was all of the people going. "You're the AH! You're asking a MOTHER to be away from her kids for a weeeeek. You're such a heartless bridezilla for not letting a mother bring her kids." And I'm constantly tempted to finally make a reddit to ask how they missed the part where sister was more than happy to spend that week away as long as someone else pays for the childcare. Sister dgaf about being away that long, she wanted to be there so she could enjoy the adult oriented vacation.

[@imperialspacemarine1539]

Story 1: OP said it best: "I dont care if I am TAH" Sometimes it is better to just dont give a fuck instead of walking on eggshells. My mother always says "you need to learn to not give a fuck to people" and now that im at my early stages of adulthood i understand what she means. This worrying about: did i annoy them? Was i an asshole? was that rude? is just so much unnecessary stress that is easily avoided by not giving a fuck. Learning to not give a fuck about what people think is actually realy hepfull. It helps your self confidence. mainly give fucks to people that matter for you and only give fucks to those that dont *if you want to*. dont think you are obligated to care because you are not. It sounds massively assholish i know, but think about this: if you care about everyone arround you what is left for you? + it is impossible to cater to everyone: there is always someone that has a problem. do you really want to sacrifice your peace of mind to apease someone that doesnt matter to you? I mean this is where this "dont set yourself on fire to keep others warm" comes from IMO. Learn to give no fucks! NTA OP

[@AndyyWithAY]

🤣🤣🤣 I'm about to fall out of my chair laughing at the edit to Story 1. The commenters in Story 1 are the AHs in addition to the people who are boycotting the wedding

[@JootjeJ]

The OP in the last story sounds like such a lovely dad! If I didn't also live on the wrong side of 40 (or even 50) I would love an adopted Reddit dad like him.

[@mimminly]

Story one is just downright abysmal. "My sister is entitled and wants me to pay for her childcare even though I'm paying for everything else, I told her no, she called me names like a child, and I told her not to come. Now my family thinks holding their attendance over my head is going to change my mind." Reddit, in their anti-childfree wedding phase even though they switch up every few months: MONSTER!!! YOU HAVING A CHILDFREE WEDDING IS A SLAP IN THE FACE TO MOTHERS EVERYWHERE!!! IN FACT YOUR FAMILY SHOULD DISOWN YOU!!!

[@lostshadows768]

Story 1: OP should take her sister at her word and block her everywhere, so they never have to speak again. Losing contact with her nephew will suck, but odds are sister is going to turn him into an entitled nightmare in a few years, if he isn't a!ready. In the long run, her life will be better without this woman in it.

[@scotte8629]

this wasn't a hill to die on moment and why bride is out of line. Family didn't like how she behaved and was called on it. I sense jealousy more than anything.

[@Cnichal]

@@scotte8629 👈🏾 Y’all… I think I found the sister, masquerading online and making comments 😹

[@despinasgarden.4100]

@@scotte8629 well, hello OP's sister.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

@@Cnichal yea, I was beginning to think they were a butt hurt person the way they keep bashing the OP in every comment! Wonder how he would feel if everyone tried to change his wedding plans?

[@goawayleavemealone2880]

Nephew cried over not being allowed to keep somebody else's cat, she's already turned him into an entitled brat.

[@romonaelrod7870]

The Op in the 1st story has the right to invite or not invite whom ever she wants to her wedding. There are events that even the best behaved children don't need to be invited to. The bride and groom have the final say in who they want at the wedding. The sister in the story is a spoiled brat over not getting her way about her kids not being invited and being told to pay for her own child care. She messed things up for everyone with her tantrum. Edit: I have children in my family and I have friends with children. Well behaved children are welcome around me. Weddings are usually formal events. Most formal events are not geared towards children. Any poorly behaved children and adults need to stay home. It's good that the sister in the story didn't attend the wedding, she was trying to make it about herself and her kids.

[@Flakey101]

I am 53 years old and still find the concept of child free wedings weird. If i was ever invited to one I think I would decline, as would 95% of my family.

[@scotte8629]

agree, but bride then spoiled her wedding by having a tantrum with emotional blackmail of no contact. I get feeling bride painted rosy picture for herself. Most family won't side like that unless this lady has other issues on the table to the point they would do so.

[@Treveyon2010]

@@scotte8629 did you missed the part were people said they wouldn't come ifvthe sister and her kids weren't invited? Op wasn't emotional blackmailing anyone. The family were using their attendance to force op to give into the sister's demands.

[@zerobolt9506]

@@scotte8629 you didn't read the story did u?

[@dulcilass]

@@Flakey101 The idea of child free weddings are becoming more the thing according to a friend of mine who is a professional wedding planner. I wish I could tell you the story she told me about a bride she had recently who wanted a child free wedding but was brow beaten by parents and FILS into having to invite all the family and friend's kids. Bridal revenge at its best.

[@lacewinglml]

second story, made me tear up the way he described his son. You can tell that he loves him so much and really anything short of being Ted bundy would phase him. I mean, I've known so many kids who don't get that sort of love at home. Just, reminds me a few years back, I was pretty active on a social media page and came to know this beautiful young soul, who was a trans girl. She was having issues because her father was working alot, which left her in the care of his girlfriend, who was a homophobic, transphobic piece of shit. I was a few month watching this literal child go from cheerful and making slow explorations into her new identity so very literally on the verge of suicide because of this woman. I won't go into details, but I am pretty sure there had been physical as well as mental abuse. It got so bad I was staying up nightly talking at all hours to just let this child know she was cared for. One day though, I snapped. We had been talking on a voice call over messenger (I was helping with an English assignment) when this woman came in, started yelling at this child. The horrible prophanity that spewed from this bitch.. I waited, fuming, but having turned on a program to record everything she was saying, (including things like suggestions of how she could kill herself) soon as she left and my young friend was in tears, I calmed her down, then asked for her father's number. It took a bit of convincing but I did have enough information that I could call cps instead, but I wanted to try this first. So I called her dad, introduced myself as his daughter's tutor. He was confused saying he didn't have a daughter, I gave him his child's name (the male one) and told him I wanted him to listen to something. I played him the recording I made He was very quiet, and after it was done I heard a long, very wet intake of breath. He thanked me. I didn't hear anything for a couple days. Then my young friend sent me a picture of her in the most adorable dress with a bright rainbow ribbon in her hair hugging her dad who was taking the photo. He dumped the toxic girlfriend, and completely accepted his daughter for who she was. She graduated high-school not to long ago, has had a couple years break because of covid but plans on attending college soon. She wants to be a librarian. :) Her dad did eventually meet and marry a lovely woman who also had a trans child.

[@gh0ulbunni817]

omfg this is beautiful ;w;

[@marine6271]

This is so cute! You probably saved her life, I'm so glad things got better for her :) You're a beautiful soul :)

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: NTA she has a child free wedding and is paying for an all expense, but child care,paid vacation. She is doing way more than anyone has to and sister is incredibly entitled to expect an exception about child care on top of an all expenses paid vacation. Those pulling their attendance 8n support are also assholes. OP is allowed to make her wedding child free. She's also allowed to put limits on what she will pay for. But what really clinches it is the sister's nasty comments. Any sympathy I may have had for her went out the window. It wasn't necessarily an asshole move to ask, but that in combination with the entitlement and crappy comments make the sister an asshole. Edit after 1st comment: OP only threatened to go no contact against people who were trying to use their attendance as leverage. It wasn't about the rule and their dislike of it because no one cared until the sister made a stink because OP wouldn't make an exception for her and pay for child care. OP made it clear they were fine not to come for any reason. It was them trying to manipulate OP that she told them she'd go no contact. I wouldn't want someone like that in my life either. Edit after 2nd comment: did that person read the story? The sister wasn't being reasonable AT ALL and OP did exactly what that comment said she should. She didn't have an attitude at all UNTIL the sister started acting shitty. Edit after 1st update: honestly...good for OP. I'm a dad to 4 and she's absolutely right. Your kids are your responsibility and if someone wants to have an event where your kids aren't there, that is their choice. Fuck your kids. I like how OP was just like "well if people wanna call me selfish, I might as well be." She deleted a shitload of toxicity instantly. Edit after update: OP needs to go no contact with her sister. Sister says "Never talk to me again"...then don't. When she tries tell her " sorry, I was asked to not talk to you" and walk away. OP would be better off. Also, she's like this because no one would stand up to her because it was "easier". I'm glad OP has the shiniest of spines

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

Yeah, I agree! The first two commenters I kept thinking "did either of you read anything at all, or did you just assume what you wanted and imagined your own details to OP's situation?" That is one thing I hate about Reddit, is that it exposes how weak most people's reading comprehension truly is. Even listening to Reddit channels, channels that essentially make money from reading, often read things wrong (IE: Like they'll read "facetious" instead of "fastidious", not realizing it completely changes the meaning of the sentence. Lol, and yes I used specifically those words as an example for the irony of it all.) It frightens me to an extent, because part of me hopes this lack of reading comprehension being made public can help to facilitate people reevaluating their skillset. However, I also understand most people have too much of an ego and pride to step out of their own way, realize people pointing out their error isn't meant to be a dig against them (except from pedantic assholes... who like being "that guy"), and grow from it. The other side of the coin could also be that their reading comprehension is just fine, but they are actively choosing to ignore the reality of what was stated, in order to confirm their own bias, or to just embrace being an asshole.

[@Eclipsiscv]

I mean getting a short term nanny for 2 kids (including a child under 2) for a full week while you’re out of town is going to cost about as much a small vacation anyway.

[@reedee5561]

​@@Eclipsiscv ​Kids were welcome at the vacation! The parents only needed to pay for babysitting during adult activities that the parents participated in. OP even had the owner of the mansion provide a list of locally approved babysitters for her family!

[@Eclipsiscv]

@@reedee5561 just for her teenage brother and little brother-in-laws. Not the sister’s kids.

[@Eclipsiscv]

@@reedee5561 the Airbnb is the venue for the wedding and reception. She doesn’t want the nephews there, just little siblings.

[@Teezyweez216]

NTA, she shouldn't have to pay for childcare AND the trip when it's a child free wedding. Cut the crap. Then if they wanna manipulate and coerce her, she has every right to throw them away

[@julzs8919]

I love the Gruff Wholesome dad vibes of story 2.

[@DjinnTaylor]

Story 2. That update was every bit as exciting as any update ive read. Thank God theres good people who accept their kids sexuality and embrace their chipdren tather than disowning them. Great update.

[@Sarah-by6gp]

The second story made me so happy. I remembered reading it awhile ago so I’m glad to have an update. It’s great that the three of them are comfortable with each other and the boyfriend has a loving family now

[@Mglay556]

Honestly I see it as the most diplomatic way what OP did in the first story. It was OPs and husband's wedding, people cancel parties all the time if chucks of people can't make it all the time. What ever OP did the sister was never gonna be happy. Even if she paid for the child care, probably the sister would cry that they aren't doing activities she wants to do or that her food was cold.

[@maryl1785]

Story 1: I was with OP all the way. I had a no kids under 16 wedding and got some push back. I replied that's the rule and ignored any back talk about it. Had a SIL that wanted to bring her kids. She obviously didn't want to get a sitter. I stuck to my guns and said, I'm sorry but that's the policy for this wedding. I have over 30 cousins, a lot had small kids at the time. It's the way I decided to handle it. I had friends asking if their friend can attend in additon to their plus 1. It was crazy. I would say each time that I hope you can come but if you cannot, I understand. Some people do not understand invitation only events.

[@cerice2000]

Story 2: my god OP is such a kind person and father, I wish I could say the same about my parents, his kid and boyfriend are so lucky with him !!! I'm so happy for them

[@jessicadias5014]

SOOOOO Glad I was one of the few redditors on that post that stood up for OP. Knew there was something really shady on the sister's end. And yeah, the comments were unbearable.

[@Ospyro3em]

Story 1 sounds to me that IP has had to put up with her sister's crap for ages and this was just the last straw.

[@gorudashiro]

I literally just heard that first story on Mr. Redder about thirty or forty minutes before I got the notification for yours, so I skipped that one. But that second one was so absolutely heartwarming and heartachy at the same time. Thank you for sharing that.

[@DemonAngel]

S2- Ahhhh... a lovely pallet cleanse from S1 to this one.... wholesomeness

[@fhuber7507]

1... NTA. Couple getting married get to select who they invite and pay for. Parents can provide for their own kids.

[@fhuber7507]

Actually, I oppose the very concept of "destination weddings" because all they are is a huge expense for everyone involved.

[@Alisha21210]

@@fhuber7507 the couple is paying for EVERYONE participating in the vacation. So destination or not, it's entirely free. And people are allowed to get married wherever they want. As long as they don't expect their guests to be @ 100% attendance AND not helping with the costs. Most people can't afford it. Forcing hundreds to thousands of dollars on guests or wedding party is 💩. But this wedding was entirely paid for by the couple.

[@fhuber7507]

@@Alisha21210 yes Karen.

[@Alisha21210]

@@fhuber7507 Just because your view point or dislike towards something has opposing views doesn't make me a Karen .. the stubborn and illogical who believe only their way is correct... Are Karen's.. wait .. by that definition. Hi Ken 😊

[@fhuber7507]

@@Alisha21210 Your insistence that I must care about yo9ur abysmal opinion makes you a Karen. Go to your own manager. Mine told you to stuff it.

[@fulgurblackhelm9383]

In the update for the first story op just went ham on everyone but her fiance.

[@paulahowlett1043]

I so love this op. Good for standing up for yourself.wishing you and fiance every happiness

[@treehouse2902]

1. I disagree. A child-free wedding is a child-free wedding. People have a choice to attend or not. OP understood that, but the ingrate sister had a temper tantrum and involved the rest of the family by gaslighting OP. In the end, canceling the wedding was the way to go. She only threatened to go no contact after they chose the sister's side and threatened to not attend. OP should have told them of her demands, but even so, that toxic family would have still sided with her.

[@tishaharrison7117]

❤ the eloping and doing your own thing. To many times people try to make others happy when it really is about the happy couple 💑

[@wickedamoeba8719]

Story One: NTA. I’m so glad OP dropped the toxic people and had a drama free “Love Day”. The sister sounds like a toxic manipulator who has the family wrapped around her finger.

[@fangchick93]

No kid wants to be at a wedding, I always brought a book.

[@brianbarber5401]

Sister doesn’t not want to go because she can’t bring her kids. She seems to not have a real problem with that. She just doesn’t want to have to pay for childcare for them.

[@rebekah.2187]

The cutoff is at "siblings." Any child related to the bride or groom beyond that of "sibling" isn't invited. Get over it. If the siblings weren't invited, she'd still have to arrange childcare. So why is this even a problem? Would she still try to manipulate the bride to get free childcare out of her on top of an all expense paid vacation? So entitled. Oh wow. The tantrums are strong with this family. Love the response from OP. "Oh, you're not coming? Fine. You just saved me some money. You sure showed me." 😂 What 'mini tantrum" is that commenter claiming OP had? She never had a tantrum, mini or otherwise. It's the sister who's having the tantrum, and the rest of the family is being childish by saying "if you don't do what we want, we're not coming." That's what children do. OP is just saying, "then don't come." The adults in the family don't have to think that hard. It's not that difficult to understand. They are adults, they should be able recognize that someone is doing something different than what they are used to and respect that person's right to do it differently. Sadly they'd rather have a tantrum and try to manipulate OP into doing what they want. I have to wonder if that person is one of OP's family who isn't going. 😂

[@hahap5411]

People learn to listen and respect wishes. It’s not about you, your kids or even your dog.

[@Juggtacula]

I love channels like yours @Mark Narrations and Lost Genre because you read in your own voice, you give your own opinion, and most importantly post updates. It's almost like you're an ACTUAL person, and not just a Microsoft Text-to-Voice program reading from a script.

[@dimsufferer9951]

That first ESH comment on story one clearly didn’t read the story. OP didn’t ban anyone for a tule she put in place, she told them not to come if they were going to hold their attendance over her head

[@danishaussie63]

S1: My biggest regret was inviting my little nieces and nephew to my wedding. I dont know what the hell happened to them at the reception, but the lil bastards ran amok and nearly ruined it. I was one of these brides who wanted ALL the family at my wedding...BIGGGG mistake!!!...meanwhile, bride is coping it over bullshit. Do what you need to do gurrrrllll, if the family are shitty for you not allowing the little ones at the wedding and other family members are taking a stance because of it, well then they are welcome to it!!!. You dont get to abuse and dictate who will be at someone elses wedding, then cause a shit storm within the family and then think you can bully your way with her wedding plans. The only thing the sister has to do was pay for child care, talk about entitlement lol.

[@scorpiocarnage1055]

It's called training. If those kids had been trained, there would have been no fuss. I don't think I have ever been to a wedding where the kids were brats. Probably because they knew what their parents would do to them if they embarrassed them like that 😆😆

[@scotte8629]

which is why you have areas for them not around the main area. "Abuse and dictate" get a life dear. Being this extreme is exactly why OP is wrong. the NC crap was wrong on all levels for this issue.

[@danishaussie63]

@@scorpiocarnage1055 Ohhh, they were 'trained', it just all flew out the window at a big event. I wouldnt have allowed them in the first place if they hadnt. Sometimes things just dont go as planned.

[@scorpiocarnage1055]

@@danishaussie63 That's fair. People do have a way of subverting expectations.

[@danishaussie63]

@@scorpiocarnage1055 Cheers for that.

[@amelieanson1808]

Damn that dad is so nice 😂🎉 I'm so glad to hear stories like that. Gives me hope that not all families su.ck

[@audreym3908]

Like the first one. I like ending on happy stories for once

[@Becks-and-books]

WOW story 1 I thought that going NC was a bit much if people wouldn't come, but then she clarified with that it was if it was "I won't come if sister's kids can't come" AND THEN THE UPDATE jfc she should go NC with the sister no matter what. It will suck for the children but that sister needs to be put in time-out by *everyone* at the same time

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

So the golden sister ruined the whole trip for everyone who was totally excited for this trip! I feel bad for the parents and in-laws. From her updates, both sets of parents were disappointed and upset cause they were looking forward to a vacation. OP and husband should have just taken the parents on vacation and gotten married with them as witnesses!!

[@dulcilass]

Story 1: Thank heavens, OP and her groom saw the light about the need for a family wedding, and eloped. Who needs all that hassle because one family member wants to get her way and throws a fit when told that OP isn't going to provide or pay for all the kids in the family to come to the wedding. As to those calling OP a child hater, the tendency for weddings to be planned as child-free is becoming more the thing. It's not that the bride and groom go child free because they don't like children, but rather they don't want the extra expense of feeding them along with the desire to celebrate their day without a small horde of kids that they aren't all that emotionally connected to.. Parents need to realize that though they love their kids, most adults that they know are probably indifferent to their youngins.

[@NerdilyDone]

Story 1: ESH. I was on OP's side as far as the childfree aspect goes, and the paying of the childcare, but she was incredibly rude when explaining herself, and when you act like a jerk, you can't expect people to understand your perspective. And her comment about "f everyone else" was very narcissistic. It really looks like she doesn't know how to handle confrontation.

[@Zommymommy]

I was a bit surprised at the YTA on the first story- OP has every right to have a child free wedding. And why on earth would OP have to pay for a sitter for other peoples kids? Is sister going to pay for the wedding?! Lol! Siblings are entirely different story. I understand why they are ok with the sibs coming. Sister is wrong.

[@CarinaCoffee]

Story 2 is so wholesome! Not everyone would have even thought about the fact that there could be a forced outing by asking/talking about it. I'm a fierce mama bear to my queer friends that have issues with their family accepting them, so I'm always glad to hear about people that have decent family members.

[@TriciaT2407]

Story #1: NTA Clearly the commentors lack comprehension skills. Why does the sister think she is entitled to a free vacation, vacation activities AND childcare? Why do some of the invitees want to use the sister's delimma to manipulate OP? I'm glad OP chose to focus on their marriage.

[@zookie3737]

story 2 has me CRYING this is the most wholesome thing ever... i wish nothing but the best for this man and his family

[@MandyLina123]

Free vacation and just gotta pay for childcare? I'm sold personally. Sounds selfish not to, since the wedding rules are set by the couple and they can do whatever they want within reason. This didn't feel unreasonable to me. And I don't even have kids. But yes, I do think its bad how the bride is acting when people don't wanna come. Both sides suck. Does feel manipulative tho, holding their attendance over her head to get the Sister's way....Everything is just bad in this story, but I don't think paying for your own childcare is bad.

[@Courtnay7584]

If she didn't want kids at her wedding beside her siblings she doesn't have to. Her and her fiance are fully funding the wedding they don't have to give concessions to anyone. They were given concessions to please their family to begin with. I've seen kids act a plum fool during ceremonies for whatever reason. People have had their wedding videos ruined because you can't hear anything over kids screaming like banshees. I've seen kids who are old enough to know better almost knock the cake over trying to get to the treats table as soon as we walked into the venue. Things like that happen typically because people are not watching their kids properly at weddings. Weddings are extremely expensive depending on what you're trying to do and nobody should have to deal with the worry if an otherwise well-behaved child should have a meltdown. She's not mad that people may not be able to attend even though they have advanced notice, it's the fact that they're trying to use manipulation to fight her sister's battle. That is the problem. When you make threats, there are consequences. Also why is everyone by passing the sister calling her out of her name? I'm offering you a one-week all-expense-paid trip and you curse me out because that's just not quite enough for you? You can bet that I'm going to tell you to go back to the hole that crawled out from.

[@cmwillisful]

Story 1 100% NTA. Brides sister is getting an all expense paid snorkeling vacation at a mansion. Sister demands that bride pay for a week of child care TOO, since it's an adults only wedding. Sister gets belligerent and turns family against bride. If family is so upset about this, why don't THEY pay for sisters child care then?

[@scotte8629]

except it isn't an adults only wedding...

[@vanzy01]

She most likely twisted the story even so they risk a relationship and a free vacation for some petty brat who they know is a drama queen.

[@Crazy-Cat-Lady-of-CA]

@@scotte8629 Just the grooms younger siblings and they were going to be babysat. Try again

[@justine8387]

But why do people have to have a "child free wedding" to exclude some children. Just because you invite someone doesn't mean you are obligated to include all of them.

[@PuppyKatt]

Sister does not WANT childcare. She wants CHILD-INCLUSIVE to all activities.

[@carlrood4457]

Can someone explain to these people that most of their guests, including close family, can only make the wedding and reception. Having weeklong ordeals is needlessly intrusive on people's lives. I don't care where it is, most people aren't sacrificing what little vacation time they get for your wedding.

[@tobiasschumacher8602]

Seriously, I am so glad there's an update from the father with the gay son. I loved that story when I heard it the first time and I'm so happy for them. Both father and son seem like awesome people and deserve to be happy.

[@ShinTriAce]

I always love hearing supportive parents stories

[@katiecakesl4691]

As my family always says, in certain events in life there is a pecking order. Immediate family relationships come first. Siblings come before niblings.

[@dakotahsmith8320]

Sounds like octopusmushroom at 4:28 didn't pay attention to the story for saying Op is an a-hole for threatening to go no contact for the people who can't come to the wedding. But he's missing the whole reason those people are backing out not because they can't go to the wedding it's because they are trying to force Ops hand into giving in to her sisters demands .

[@atinyevil1383]

I appreciate that half the family’s reaction to the wedding being cancelled is “OP’s Sister is why we can’t have nice things!”

[@thechumpsbeendumped.7797]

The guy getting his life together and being a great supporting dad warmed my heart.

[@BlueAnimeCat21]

i wish i could do more to support besides occasionally commenting, liking, and sharing videos but i do recognize your constant support for lgbt+ people throughout your videos and marked your channel as trans friendly through an extension that i and other trans and nonbinary people i know use thank you for being such a positive and inclusive channel

[@justsomewriter175]

Story 2: the dad is mega chill and incredibly sweet and supportive. The story was so sweet i teared up a little.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: Did....did people even _read_ the story or did they do a typical reddit skim and latch onto to certain words without reading the context? OP isn't threatening to go no contact if they can't go. They threatened to go no contact because the people threatening not to attend are siding with a brat who, from the sounds of it, gets extremely toxic and borderline abusive the second she doesn't get her way 🤨

[@shylavender]

Story 1: speaking as a mom myself, NTA. I would NEVER expect anyone else to pay for my kids’ childcare or feel SO entitled that I’d expect everyone to bend over backwards to cater to them. They’re my kids, not anyone else’s. They’re my responsibility. And yes I understand that some people want child free weddings, so I’d suck it up and find childcare, and if I couldn’t find any or afford any, then I’d have to politely decline. OP’s sister sounds like an absolute monster, and the way she treated OP (going by updates) is disgusting! She sounds like a total bully, and an entitled, spoiled, evil AH. I feel so bad for OP that she has to deal with her and those other toxic “relatives”. She was literally paying for them all to have a free vacation and they joined in on ganging up on her, until she decided her and her fiancé decided to essentially elope, and they all reacted like that!? Definitely NTA!

[@Eclipsiscv]

In the original post it came out that OP expected her sister to either pay $4000 for a nanny in their hometown or drive like 3ish( I think) hours away to the venue, use the on-site sitter for a few hours then drive back only to do the whole thing over again every day for a week. It also sounded like she made this rule particularly to not have her sister and/or her kids there. She used to live in her sisters house for a while and some people guessed she might not have left on good terms. She didn’t really elaborate on that.

[@direwolf8703]

Story 1 - As soon as the sister was demanding OP pays for her child care the sister became TA. You don't get to demand others pay for something so you can go on vacation they are paying for.

[@NoToPseudoscience]

Story1: YTA. How dare you have boundaries when it comes to your wedding that you paid for. /s NTA by the way.

[@h30202]

Story 1. From the story, I kind of feel that OP grew up with this kind of dramatic family, so she reacted that way. Good for OP for being firm and her own person.

[@vizoredchris]

The correct solution in the first story was to clarify & shift focus exposing just what your sister was TRULY complaining over. Simple, on a forum where the wedding guests would easily see. You start a poll. Explain EVERYTHING you are paying for & have planned for the wedding. Come up with a round estimate of what it costs per person. Calculate what the cost of the childcare is, and then call your sister out by name & give the guests a choice in the poll. "People like my Sister X, think that it's absurd I am refusing to pay for childcare for everyone's children. So to give our guests a choice, to prevent any additional misgivings from being unaddressed like my dear sister X's, we wanted to give our guests the option to choose. Which cost would you rather pay?"