Our Friend Is ANGRY We're Having A Child, We Met With Her And We're Shocked r/Relationships

[@grangerweasley]

I have two child-free friends and they’ve never acted like this with my kids. They’re basically bonus aunties to them! They ask about them, comment nice things on pics of them and even buy them gifts. She’s a terrible friend!

[@jimdob6528]

She’s a terrible human being and not just a terrible friend. I bet if she said the same thing about the elderly then society would bash her into submission.

[@Iflie]

Yeah I never wanted children but that doesn't mean I hate children. In fact I think being a parent is the most important job in the world and that their child should be their nr 1 priority. So if they want to post pictures of them every day I think that shows how delighted they are and think that's a good sign.

[@DanniSoRude]

Exactly! Imagine ALWAYS being the fun aunt! I can't wait to get my niblings chocolate wasted then drop them back home 🤣

[@plantemor]

For real. Almost all my friends have kids now and I love when they send baby pics with baby's first x, y and z. It's life fuel for me to follow their journey and seeing their kids grow. Since we live far away from one another now, I won't be an auntie to them, but I'm still very interested in how they are doing and how their parents are. In my own family, both on my side, but also on my boyfriend's side, our siblings have kids and I love spending time with them. This Christmas I got to bond with his nieces a little bit, one of them they suspect has ADHD, so there was a lot of energy there, but it was so wonderful and they were so sweet and excited about being there. We played some party games like that one where you get a card strapped to your head and the other participants try and describe what it is so you can guess it. Dunno what it's called, but we had a lot of fun with it, just the nieces, my boyfriend and I. Kids are awesome. They have a way of creeping into your heart and stay there. I don't understand how anyone can hate kids. I always see that as a red flag when I meet people and I hate that people who hate kids get to determine the narrative about people who choose to be childless. We don't all hate kids :( some of us decide to not have them because we know we wouldn't be able to give them a good life.

[@bernieheartdragon1888]

Same. I was one of the first of my friend group to have kids and they became everyone's kids. lol

[@Raaslen]

Story 1: for someone who claims to dislike children, A does go out of her way to involve kids on her life just to be able to complain about them

[@faizalf119]

I guess being angry is the only way to push her adrenaline up daily lol

[@Dimensionalalteration]

Plus for someone who claims to dislike children and then proceeds to act like a spoilt brat toddler.

[@Leoluvesadmira]

Misery loves company and some people have to attack people because they are miserable and have to inflict it onto other people.

[@lynnw7155]

Why do OP and husband keep A in their lives? Who needs that? Block her and find better friends. A person's social media is about their life, and family, including children, IS their life. Life DOES change once you have children.

[@helixxia9320]

such a shitty person and ‘friend’. i dont like kids at all but why would i go and concern myself into the facebook page of my friends who post about their baby?? and be horrible to them?? for what? like i literally do not understand her thought process or logic in any way. she is making herself look so bad

[@WolframKKM]

With the final update of multiple friends dropping them on social: Who are these people that the sight of a baby is so offensive? I'm very much not at the kids stage of my life, but I don't walk around trying to pretend they don't exist. Like if you're that off-put by children, I think you need to talk to someone.

[@carolroberts4614]

At the age they are at it's unrealistic that all the group would stay childfree, and they could keep their high school gang or whatever! A very toxic group, I think.

[@pandalamaa6118]

They may not necessarily think it's offensive (and I agree with you, how can someone find a baby offensive, that would be strange). But possibly they may simply not enjoy the sight of one. I for one don't find children particularly cute (especially photos with kids that are messy, drooling or otherwise doing kid-stuff, I don't enjoy them at all.) So they might just have unfollowed simply because they want to immerse themselves in things/situations that bring them more joy. That is a choice we all tend to make. Even though it can seem silly to some. (Personally I haven't unfollowed someone for that reason, probably because I don't use social medias like FB much in the first place.) 😂

[@zebnemma]

Probably too immature so they can't handle that their friends have grown up and have a child now. Some people just wanna party like a teen all their life and never grow up. So maybe when they had the child those friends felt there was no point in even staying friends anymore since they can't party party with them like they used to. Fair enough I suppose. Some friends are not meant to be life long friends, sometimes a friendship works for a couple of years and serves a perfect purpose right at that moment, but as people change and mature with time some friends will not follow you on that journey. Friends come and go as people change in life and sometimes people just grow apart or when people make big life changes, such as having kids. Sometimes a friendship has an expiry date and that's just how it is, it doesn't always have to be personal or big drama.

[@pandalamaa6118]

@@zebnemma I agree with everything you say except the grow up part. XD But it's definitely true that friends come and go, people you are close to at one point may not be later on, relationships change and further down the line may become completely different. And yeah, it is a possible explanation that they were once party people and surrounded themselves with people who at the time also had similar interests, just as now they might become closer to other parents and become better friends with them, as they have similar interests and lifestyles. Each to their own, people should create a life in which they feel happiest in after all, as long as everyone can stay respectful of each others choices. :)

[@magicalsheepie]

I think it has to do a lot with just how messy, loud and quite annoying children are. I personally strongly dislike being around children, because their loudness makes me anxious and uncomfortable. That's why I would definitely avoid people with children. So, it's understandable that people would remove themselves away from that.

[@eclipse849]

I remember this story and no matter how many times I hear it the friend needs the get therapy if she feels replaced by a baby

[@MarkNarrations]

It was the whole father figure thing that had me like 😳

[@Lillireify]

Same here, poor parents feeling like they have to hide having a baby not to upset other ppl :| Like seriously.

[@gustavomartinsdesouza5548]

@@MarkNarrations it looks like clinical mania

[@nerdygeekgamer5528]

How is OP'S relationship with their husband jealousy she never had OP as a romantic partner to begin with it's like they say you can't miss what you never had and of course their child and spousele partner are going to be number one that's how it works when you tie the knot and decide to have a family with your spouse

[@spdnb]

​@@gustavomartinsdesouza5548 if only it were that simple, friend. Though...i guess that she started spouting all of that at the meet up in the restaurant...mania could def be part of it.

[@Mimikinn]

I have a feeling A is actually in love with OP but won’t admit it. I mean, why else would she be jealous of OP’s husband? If she really saw OP as her father figure then she wouldn’t have felt “replaced” when OP got together with his husband. I think the baby was just the final nail in the coffin for her. Either way, she needs some therapy.

[@sierrastanley3109]

Plenty of kids with stepparents feel replaced when their parent gets remarried, I met a few, I think this is the same situational feeling that A is feeling. A wants OP full attention by the sounds of it and the more people that are close with OP the less attention she feels like she's getting. Happens.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

I think she's in love with OP aswell, and just turned to the next thing out of desperation cuz OP wasn't available, which was the father figure.

[@devlyn873]

I'm childfree and I cannot even imagine acting the way A has. I'm happy for my friends who have had children and hope any more that do so will always feel comfortable talking about them/showing off progress/bragging about all their accomplishments. I know that they'll raise awesome people and I'm proud of them

[@ComaLies225]

Also cause you’re not a miserable human being. I’m childfree too but I can’t imagine being hostile towards the people I love, children included and I’d feel bad if parents feel like they have to limit their conversations about their kids. I’m usually the first to ask about my friends kids before them, lol

[@CrazyWolf2468]

I can't have kids but I'm ok with that I'm just going to be the best auntie I can be!!!!

[@brigidtheirish]

Yeah, pretty sure it's people like A that the pope had in mind with his latest poorly-thought-out speech. There's nothing wrong with choosing to be child-free, but acting like *human children* are somehow *lesser,* even calling them *parasitic,* that's a problem. One I've had the misfortune to run into fairly often.

[@Fcutdlady]

Childfree by choice here too. A is giving the rest of us a bad name

[@shithead1029384756]

I'm very child free. But i look at A as that type that refuses to see any other viewpoint other than her own. I have plenty of friends with kids. No reason to take such a hard stance on something that don't directly involve you directly

[@squeakybb]

As a childless friend myself, I couldn't ever imagine feeling threatened by a literal baby. I have a 5yr old nephew and a 2yr old niece who I love to death. I help out with everything, food, diapers, nap time, and with my nephew being medically complex I help with his tube feeds and medications. But I do not want to have my own kids. No one is on this planet by choice. We were all born because of other peoples actions. OPs friend is a child herself that needs to figure herself out if she wants genuine relationships in her life.

[@benjamindouglas862]

@A.N. Cathey "No one is born by their choice." This is exactly why having children is immoral, you're forcing someone to experience something they never asked for. Hence why all parents by definition are tyrants. Extinction is the only moral option left for our species.

[@HackiePuffs]

Jeez I don’t like kids either but this woman takes it to a whole new level. Like honestly she needs therapy because kids exist if she’s gonna be that hateful towards them I’m kinda worried about what would happen if she was left alone with one. Knock on wood that doesn’t actually happen but still she needs to get that sorted out.

[@lucyhardy-styles-shield2728]

Personally I never want kids, but I AEORE my nieces and nephews

[@alexkerwi3831]

I'm always open about being childfree, don't know a lot about kids but when my coworker tells me his daughter is almost walking, and how she actually kept her hat on in the sun.. of course I laugh and cheer him on, esp as I'm his only co worker also in the office. Kids, esp young babies don't deserve such hate, they're just being babies. (Just don't ask me to hold one!)

[@SAJK0KAT]

Exactly! I feel the same 😂 I can look at pictures but pls no I don’t want to hold the baby. 🙈

[@nerdygeekgamer5528]

I don't have any kids but a BFF of mine does and I love her kids they call my AUNTIE and I'm okay with that I love them and anyone calls them a PARASITE they're going to have a problem with me and it won't be pretty

[@MarcelaElviraTimis]

I love babies... that I get to give back to their parents😅

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

Don't yall love child free people who's more childish or bratty than any child you've seen?

[@CH-ns4gv]

Gotta be grateful that they aren't reproducing though lol

[@ericgrace9995]

They don't like the competition.

[@xXxD0m0Aki0KunxXx]

My youngest is two and she is more mature than this 'adult'

[@magoshyyem7436]

Way you think we don't want child, I don' know who to, if you ask me to hold one, i gona panic

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

My sister is child free and she'd roll her eyes at A's antics. 🙄

[@AndyyWithAY]

Bashing yourself like that is a manipulation tactic. Never fall for that. People want you to console them and tell them they're great and it completely derails the conversation

[@LunaMane]

Either agree with them and say "Yep, that sounds about right" or shrug and say "I guess". Agreeing with their self-deprecating manipulation or acting neutral throws them off a lot of times.

[@BexsBoxofConfusion]

@@LunaMane definitely. It’s like you said it not me 😂

[@Avrysatos]

@@LunaMane I tend to stare at people doing this blankly until they stop to wait for input. "Sorry I tuned out when you were trying to get your way." But I don't want these people as friends so I enjoy burning those bridges.

[@draconicfeline6177]

I have to work against my tendency to do this. Not on others to give me the validation I cannot give myself! I slip a lot because emotional states are vulnerable and hard to manage in the moment, who knew, but sometimes I'm good enough at catching it to end a call/close the messenger app. It's fucking manipulative, and I want to be better. No idea how to articulate it to my therapist, or if she can help me in our sparse AF 30 minutes.

[@LunaMane]

@@dihydrogenmonoxide7056 No one is talking about genuine cases of emotional abuse. We're talking about manipulation tactics. And whether you admit or not - self-deprecating remarks are a way manipulators try to garner sympathy. Good job being hyperbolic and cherry picking points of a conversation that you weren't initially involved in to make a soap box to argue your own point.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: you shouldn't have to hide your children. Real friends, even ones who are child free, will be in hearing SOMETHING about the and understand that they are important to you. I feel OP went overboard in trying to spare all of their "friends " feelings. Their life was going to change, period. If people don't want to be around thay then fine, but OP shouldn't have tobkeep her baby a secret. A's behavior is atrocious and to seek out the post to make shitty comments is disgusting. If you don't like kids, don't seek out posts regarding them. OP needs to set up boundaries and live her life as it is with her kid in it. A is really disingenuous with her "I'm not mad BS". She wasn't just insensitive. She was a massive asshole. She maybhave some trauma around kids but that doesn't give her the right to be a dick to another person.

[@themousethatroared3371]

I'm thinking it might possibly be less about A's trauma and more about her narcissism. Trauma is no excuse for being a manipulative gaslighter to a friend or a raging asshole to a little baby.

[@MarcelaElviraTimis]

Oh, you sweet summer child! You think OP is female😅

[@darkrose1983]

The irony of the child free friend, is how she is behaving like a jealous, badly behaved toddler. The, you are being over sensitive, is gaslighting. You are not over sensitive. She is an AH. Distance yourself as much as possible.

[@johnjr7070]

Hardly gaslighting straightfoward aggressive and needs to be outed of their circle, most of us do that in our 20's with people who we know will never be good news for us, they sound a little bit stuck in their teeens but as social media created this problem with adults?

[@digitalharmony26]

There’s nothing wrong with outgrowing your friends. Sure, you don’t have to give up parties and concerts because you have a baby, but you also don’t have to continue to go party because your friends are party animals and that isn’t you anymore. People grow up in long relationships, you either grow together or grow apart and there’s nothing wrong with that, you’re just not the same anymore. You’ll find new friends who appreciate your little one and will love to hear you talk about her because she makes you so damn happy and good friends love seeing friends happy.

[@avalasialove]

Honestly, I’d say it’s pretty normal to settle down in your late twenties. It’s a natural part of transitioning from young adulthood to middle adulthood.

[@faizalf119]

Also as people enter their 30s their body slowly slowed down and doesn't really fit with party scenes anymore.

[@IKKclauKR]

I've heard this story before, and I still get ridiculously upset about this woman, like I can't believe she's so freaking inmature to feel replace by her FRIEND'S baby, not her dad, never her dad...the "I never asked to be a baby" has to be the most stupid argument in the whole freaking world, like you're delusional if you feel that's an argument! Also, no, OP didn't make you do this, you did it because you're inmature and need therapy

[@theprodigaltrue]

I dont get why they didnt drop the friend quick. I woulda just dropped her when she called the baby an it.

[@thedestroyasystem]

“I never asked to be a baby” neither did… any… baby? This lady seems unhinged. I don’t like kids, I don’t want kids, I don’t get the appeal, and I can still do what everybody else in that situation does and avoid them and be happy for people who want them. OP is compensating more than most would. She’s actively seeking out news about this child to get angry about. She needs some real help.

[@BlueSkyBS]

I am happily child free and have often said, to others, that I really don't like children very much. But I'll never criticize anyone for having kids and hate on their children in this manner, because they're, you know, human beings.... Something a lot of "childfree" types seem to overlook. One day, those kids will be adults and you'll still be around to see their manifold responses to your hostility.

[@janedoe885]

Thank you for saying this. It really creeped me out through the story that the ex-friend didn't seem to realize children are human beings. It would make me uncomfortable if someone treated an animal with that kind of derision tbh--doing it to a small and inexperienced human is even more disturbing.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 1: she claims that she doesn’t hate children, but should call them parasites that feed off of their parents. If you do not like children or just straight out hate them keep those opinions to your goddamn self. Especially when your friends that are expecting children or doing you a courtesy by policing what they say in regards to children around you. You are allowed to not like a$$hole children they run around like shitheads and are rude to you when you’re out in public, but don’t project on every single child. It’s how they are being raised. Didn’t Mark read a story where OP had a kid come up and bite them hard enough to draw blood and drink their blood so OP told Karen that he had HIV to teach her a lesson about not letting her kids run around biting people? This friend has serious issues, I love the clap it out of courtI didn’t asked to be a baby I had no control over that“… But you have control over how you present your opinions to other people, yet you choose to be a pr!ck. If you don’t like it or just straight up hate them, don’t unload all that baggage on your friends that are having children. She clearly is mad why else would she use unnecessary hostile terms like calling kids a$$holes & parasites? If the tables were turned and OP & their husband constantly told friend that she’s a terrible person for saying all these things about children, especially their child, and tell her that she’s going nowhere in life because she wants to be child free while having all these negative views about children, I guarantee a $100 bet she will play the victim. If she is jealous over the new baby and feels like she’s getting replaced, she needs serious therapy. OK when it came to the update how she was jealous of the baby, OP‘s husband, and saw a P like a dad and try the whole “it’s your fault you made me behave this way“… So manipulative. She’s really got some daddy issues even if she’s doing the whole acting out like a disrespectful teenager to get daddy‘s attention…. When a man she’s coveting fatherly attention from is not even her dad…it’s a peer…..

[@TsukiKageTora]

I think OP needs to file for a restraining order. If she sees him as a father figure (after thinking she was in love with him… those to things don’t feel the same at all, so her confusion leaves me wondering if she had the same experience with her actual father, and her trauma is him turning her down) she obviously didn’t control the urge to hurt him by posting nasty things about his daughter. If she can’t stop the urge to hurt someone she “loves” (even as a father figure… creepy) she probably wouldn’t control any urge to actually hurt OP’s husband and child

[@wmdkitty]

SHe's factually correct -- a fetus IS a parasite.

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@wmdkitty It isn’t a fact, that is a heartless BS statement used to hate on someone else’s child because that someone else didn’t “play daddy” with her. The baby is 7 months old. She isn’t a fetus. And fetuses aren’t parasites as you’ve said. Which is still a BS statement regardless

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

Technically children, teenagers, and adults that haven’t moved out of their parents houses are also parasites because they’re living off of their parents. She only said that shit to be hurtful to OP because “she’s getting replaced by a new baby“ a.k.a. OP isn’t going to be her daddy anymore because his real daughter is taking her place. She’s literally acting like an angry child when they learn they’re getting a new sibling and they’re not going to be the only kid anymore. Jealous of the new baby getting all the attention, that’s really what this grown ass woman is doing.

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@MsUnamusedNerd jealous of a new baby from a person her age nonetheless

[@thedestroyasystem]

3:31 can I just say, as a trans person, it’s okay to raise your kid as the gender they’re assigned at birth. Most kids will end up identifying with that, making them choose early or raising them without a gender will likely confuse them and negatively impact their relationships with peers. It’s only a problem when you start enforcing gender norms that make your child unhappy (ie, “you can’t play with dolls because you’re a boy”) or don’t listen to your kid when they tell you that they’re trans or enby. Let your kids express themselves how they want, and listen to them when they tell you who they are.

[@damien678]

Idk what raising kids gender neutral will do, actual research will need to be done about it, but I don't think we should just assume it's worse than assigned genders. HOWEVER I do agree with the rest of your points, it's not bad to raise a kid as their assigned gender, as long as you stay open to the possibility of them not being that gender, and not forcing gender roles on your kids

[@Cooljoanna14]

thank you for sharing your opinion/thoughts!

[@thedestroyasystem]

@@damien678 my problem isn’t necessarily with raising kids gender neutrally, but rather that any kid with something “different” about them is going to face some difficulties as a result of that. Disabled, POC, neurodivergent, trans, queer… heck, even kids who just dress “different” or wear glasses are more prone to bullying. So unless everyone suddenly adopts a gender neutral method, raising your kid that way is going to unnecessarily increase their risk for peer-related stressors.

[@skellycat6653]

Agree with this completely. I've got 2 boys and raise them as boys. There was a couple of years that my eldest loved my little pony, dolls, etc and they were the only toys he wanted. The little guy's whole room was filed with pink for about 3 years, until he no longer cared about that stuff and moved towards superheros, anime and gaming. I'm happy for him to express himself and as long as he's happy that's all that matters

[@somedragonbastard]

Same here. I have no problem with raising kids gender neutrally, but I also don't resent my parents for raising me as a girl, even though that's not what I am.

[@FriedaMMartin]

By the end go story1 I began to relate to OP. I lost a friend due to getting married and having a baby. The reason? She was jealous and she wanted my life that I had worked for (she broke all her relationships by cheating on the boyfriends every time). Also she was jealous that I had built up to a better job rather than continuing to be fired at various places for not showing to work.

[@LunaP1]

So basically, your ex friend was an insecure, jealous, self sabotaging jackass. She also sounds like she fits into the upper levels of Nice Girl™️ personality.

[@FriedaMMartin]

@@LunaP1 she had a lot of woe is me attitude

[@joaolima7131]

Wow, unfortunately being an adult doesn't mean you are responsable or mature, sometimes I see kids being more mature than them. I would drop her just for the infidelity part, unfaithful people don't deserve my respect, I had a friend like that, he was 24, really indecisive about commitment and tought about relationships as prisons, he would gloat his sex life sometimes too. And didn't have any goal on life, only thought about partying.

[@faizalf119]

Misery love company.

[@Hinatachan360]

Sounds like she was a self sabotaging ah.

[@Swnsasy]

I've actually never heard of ANYONE ever talk or act like this about a child.. I know people that don't want kids but loves on other people's kids.. This woman is just flat out weird!

[@dm9078]

This guy is more worried about this crazy friend than he is with what is best for him and his family.

[@SassyGirl822006]

Sounds like most of their friends are rabidly child-free, because those are the people in the community around them where they are. This one friend was an old dear friend, until the toxicity overflowed. It can be hard when the support you thought you had, isn't actually there.

[@Someone-or8tp]

It's heavily implied in the story that they were friends for a very long time, so he just wanted her to be part of his life regardless. He still cared about his baby but peer pressure can do lots of shit, especially when it's been deeply ingrained in you for multiple years. Even if his friends weren't actively telling him not to share his baby stuff with them, the fact that he was part of a community that ridiculed that was a subtle peer pressure that effected him. Parents are humans too and they learn just as much as other people do. These two people are learning to be parents, so of course they're going to make mistakes at the start. There's nothing wrong with that, and he shows at the end of the story that he's greatly improved by putting his daughter first and no longer hiding her like a family secret.

[@dianakosianka5344]

6:01 - OP was right. His brother wasn't "abandoned" - he moved of his own volition. He didn't kick him out at all and seems to still be on good terms with him. I don't understand what's wrong with his "friend" here that she's dragging his family into this. I get that not everyone wants kids and shouldn't be forced into having them, but why not be happy for your friends when they have a baby, knowing full well they always wanted to start a family and have kids?

[@dianakosianka5344]

@@dihydrogenmonoxide7056 She had no right to take her problems out on them. I get that she felt anxious about the state of their relationship changing, but she was being incredibly selfish about it.

[@nixxyhasthoughts]

Story 1: good friends celebrate your life milestones with you. Having a child is a massive life change and our friends should be at least happy for us if not an active participant. We don’t owe it to our friends to never change in life. The friends you keep are the ones that grow with us. Not all friendships should be lifelong,

[@purpleiguana208]

Story 1: While I can feel sympathy about someone being bitter about an ex pushing them to have kids when they didn't want kids, I feel like this person has gone too far. If I were OP, I would say, "Am I your ex? No. Am I pushing you to have kids? No. Stop treating me like the person who hurt you." And if they couldn't stop, I would stop them by not being a part of their friend group anymore and blocking them from all my stuff.

[@danielles3841]

You know it's gonna be a fun one when the whole video is one story

[@MarkNarrations]

The one stories are great fun to read too

[@kp2223]

💯💯💯

[@ruthgriffiths7365]

The little one is very lucky to have such devoted dads, she will be loved and safe in her family. As new parents they have every right to be thrilled, stunned, exhausted and excited in equal measure. Their real friends will offer all the love and support they need. Watching a new family bond and grow is an amazing experience, one that should be shared.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Talking to A was pointless from the beginning. She doesnt want the friendship to evolve. she just wants to have her way. OP just needs to move on. They'll never be friends with A again

[@Weirdandwonderfull19]

I'm a childless friend (I can't have them but I also don't want them). However, I want the people to care about to be happy, and if talking about their children and their kids milestones makes them happy, then go for it. I don't particularly enjoy spending time around children, I love them from afar 😂, however, I would never be rude to a child, nor rude about them. I will always get them xmas and birthday presents, I will even invite my friends kids to join us on an activity that kids would enjoy.. Like Alpaca walking. I just don't have a bond with them or go out of my way to interact with them. Stop censoring yourselves, if people care about you then they will like seeing you happy!

[@SarahWilliams-es2yl]

Right. What kind of friend shits on something that makes you happy? These people shouldnt have to tiptoe around this kind of Nut.

[@Weirdandwonderfull19]

@@SarahWilliams-es2yl I completely agree. I'm not a lover of being around children but I have friends with children. I love seeing them so happy and proud of their childs accomplishments. I always had that view on friendships, but now I'm in my mid 30s, I realise that some people don't want "friendships" they want "benefits". When you're no longer useful to them, or interesting enough, they ditch you. People like that are better off out of your life anyway. Not every person you lose from your life is a "loss".

[@heatherduke5410]

I also don't want kids, but I'm always stunned by these types of childfree people. There's an entire subreddit about it and they're so needlessly hateful to children. And some of the things they get pissed at kids for are so random and make no sense. They're the type who'd get pissed at a baby for saying "hi!" to everyone in line at a grocery store.

[@rebekahcyphus2364]

For the childless friend, for someone who hates kids she sure knows how to act like one.

[@callmema14]

Story 1 can we acknowledge how some "child free" ppl have become radicalized and toxic in their mindset about kids and ppl who have kids? Sometimes when the pendulum swings it swings hard in the opposite direction. Some ppl try to get away from one status quo so much that they go to another toxic extreme. It's obvious OPs friend is afraid of being left out and losing a friend to other responsibilities but that behavior is gross. Op needs to cut her off.

[@somedragonbastard]

Makes me think about the film The Lobster, where all the single people live in the woods enforcing singleness in opposition to the relationship-enforcing society

[@faizalf119]

Probably going to forums like subreddits that pretty much feed their mind with extreme ideas

[@dimsufferer9951]

This story reminds me of that one episode of Modern Family

[@anthonnynavarro8486]

So true

[@panicattheanimationstudio5673]

She's literally crazy. Like here's the thing, I'll call children parasites but only as a) a joke or b) when I get someone on my case about how I should settle down and start popping out kids at the ripe old age of 19 (I'm not even joking when I say I've had multiple people disappointed that I wasn't going to get married and start having children as soon as I graduated from hs when I was 17) but you NEVER call someone's child a parasite. She isn't a normal child free person she straight up hates kids to the point that she's verbally abuse about/towards a baby that she may have never even fucking met

[@2anais]

I was one of those people who wanted to be child free but when I got pregnant I ended up having a similar situation as this. My friend started to behave a kind of way like A. One thing I don't tolerate is disrespect so I didn't say anymore I just blocked him on everything. Last thing I heard was that he said me having my son turned me into a bad friend and that person went off on him.

[@Tammohawk1]

1. NTA OP is not being overly sensitive except in regard to how he and his husband have bent over backward to please this so-called friend. This woman is not a friend to OP and I really hope she gets help.

[@RJLiams]

Unfortunately this mindset has grown amongst many childfree people. Being childfree myself I've seen friends actively push away from people they were once close with. Just because they dared be parents. These people are no different than the parents who try to push having children on childfree people. This mindset needs to be nipped in the bud yesterday.

[@citadelofwinds1564]

Story 1: That "friend" is so filled with hatred for babies and hostility towards OP, that one has to question her sanity. She may simply be envious of OP for having a happy relationship, with the baby being the frosting on the cake. OP should not tolerate that woman's bad behaviour a second longer. This is not the behaviour of a friend but of an enemy. Give her an ultimatum: stop the s**t comments and constant sniping, or the friendship is over and there will be no more contact with her. Life is too short to allow such a toxic person to hang around, poisoning the very air around her. The update was very helpful. It's clear the woman has major issues, but it's also clear she's blaming OP, the husband and the child. It's doubtful she will go for the therapy she clearly needs, but at least now she knows that OP has distanced himself because of her s**t behaviours. As for those other "friends" who dropped out, at least they've shown their real feelings and immaturity, and have removed their negativity from OP and his family. OP and husband have handled it well with how they plan to go forward. All the best to them and the little nugget.

[@Schaemia]

People who actively hate children are such a red flag. I can understand not wanting a child or not feeling comfortable around children; but to have this much disdain for an innocent baby? Weird AF.

[@Davtwan]

I remember this story. There’s one important lesson to learn here: don’t tolerate the intolerant. They will _not_ return the favor, let you do all the work, and throw you under the bus if the situation calls for it.

[@digitalharmony26]

The damn audacity and entitlement to be that toxic about your friends living through the happiest period of their lives. Jesus Christ, please cut her out. I haven’t heard about such a toxic person in a while. Enjoy your little bundle of joy and spend time in your happy little bubble with your daughter, partner and supportive loved ones. I wish you all a happy and healthy life.

[@Flufferz626]

"I didn't ask to be a baby." But...that is how life works. I'm thinking she is overcompensating/projecting because she is horrified that deep inside she might actually want a kid? Never seen any child free person act this aggressive without some sort of ulterior emotions.

[@badateverything5392]

My friend is child-free and she knows that my partner and I want children, and so does our other friend. She told me recently that she wants to have a mural in her office of our children's hand prints as they grow up, which is so fucking adorable.

[@loiracitr]

Most child-free people I know are happy to be the cool uncle/cool aunty!

[@corlenajames1381]

Story 1: You've outgrown A... You deserve to live your life the way you want. She's an adult who's acting like an immature child. Stop pandering to her. Cut your losses & move on.

[@justcallmebon2684]

The fact that they even go so overboard to do something for/with their childless friends EVERY weekend seems like a lot to me. People go through different stages in life and sometimes that means less time with other people when you have a newborn child. It’s great that they’ve achieved such balance but in no way is that necessary or a standard for the general public.

[@TheArnaa]

Story 1: A is one of those people who uses “I’m just stating a fact” to avoid taking responsibility for any rudeness and/or hurt her words cause.

[@eldeano9964]

Every bit of verbal diarrhea that 'A' spouted just gave me a Clint Eastwood squint. Never regret cutting out a stubborn person from your life. They're draining, pathetic and would rather lose out on lifelong freindships, relationships and family members, than admit that they're wrong.

[@JMac7395]

S1: for someone who hates kids A goes out of her way to talk about them at length. There is something deeply wrong with A & it goes beyond her ex pressuring her to have kids. A's behavior seems almost sociopathic. One can only hope that her job occupation isn't a nurse, a teacher or a nanny

[@sgtjarhead99]

OP needs to stop being a doormat and just cuss this “friend” out. Should not take that disrespect from anyone.

[@onnas5610]

As someone who doesn't kids and plans to live a childfree life, I don't understand this whole policing ppl with children. Let them talk about their kids, post pics or even bring their kids to child friendly events. There's a difference between childfree and ppl who just straight up hate kids. How tf do you even come to just hate children, there's definitely some therapy needed for that and I wouldn't trust someone like that too.

[@coreymartin6486]

She was jealous of Op's husband and thought he took her place......to me, this makes me think she saw the baby as "glue" between OP and the husband.....and reduces her chances of getting together with OP later on down the road. A' s fiancee is the backup plan. She probably didnt want kids with her ex, because it could be harder to get a relationship with OP, if the opportunity arose. Two possible reasons she disdains kids.....

[@DivisibleByWaffle]

I can't see myself having kids for a few personal reasons, but if my friends have kids? I am SO going to be pinching their cute lil cheeks, and when they grow a little I would 100% down to babysit. Hell yeah, kids rule. If my friends or family members wanna have kids, I'm gonna be there 100% to support them. OP's friend is ridiculous

[@amelianekomimi1936]

it scares me that a woman is threatened by a baby "IM SUPPOSE TO BE YOUR DAUGHTER" is all i hear and im just... this could be a horror flick with this concept

[@Muzdat]

I get disliking kids but being this malicious to a baby that can't even think for itself. I'm scared to even imagine what she'd do to an infant when no one is around

[@nightmarefanatic1819]

"You were a baby once you know" And she's still acting like one!

[@LovelyCinccino]

Well, what was that woman expecting? For OP to drop his husband and daughter and focus solely on her? OP made the right choice to back off and keep his daughter away from her.

[@H.P._Lovecrafts_Beloved_Cat]

“Why would you ever want to have children?” Well, I take the continued existence of humanity very seriously.

[@rhythmictiger]

It's one thing to not like/want kids, it's another to make your friends w kids feel like they can't talk about them around you. Honestly their whole friend group sounds off. No idea why she's worrying about this "friend"

[@owl7072]

Story 1: I'm childfree as well and even I'm just horrified by A's behavior. Whether you like kids or not, you keep opinions to yourself, especially if said opinions are negative and/or directed at people expecting a child. Pregnancy talk makes me uncomfortable as hell but when I heard one of my friends was having a baby, I shoved that discomfort to the side to listen to them talk about it because they were happy and that made _me_ happy. Not saying everyone who doesn't like it has to do that, but if you can't push that discomfort away then _talk to them about it,_ OP seems to be pretty reasonable as well as the husband.

[@itscmznews180]

That “friend” would’ve been cursed out ! Wow ! What a deplorable human

[@6Qubed]

Throw The Entire Friend Away

[@Unidentified.Problem]

As someone who is childfree, doesn't like children, and am one of my only friends who doesn't, I can't imagine being that much of an AH to a friend. Everytime the topic of babies comes up with my friends, I always tell them "they're not my thing, I'm not super maternal, but you do you, and so long as you're happy, I'm happy for you." Just because you dislike children or are childfree doesn't mean you should be rude to friends who ACTUALLY want them. We do need people to have children to continue surviving as a species after all! Also, as an aside, I do kind of understand the "parasite" comment, especially as someone who has said it both as a joke and in anger. However, I only ever say it about fetuses (aka, babies still in utero). At that point, they kind of are, but there's not much of an argument with a baby who is out of the womb. (I mean, unless A means a money parasite but still? So is a pet at that point? Or a partner?) It's not a good thing to say, especially to a new parent. If someone (and they have) told me not to say that, I would (and have) and I apologized to them. Tl;dr, A is a massive AH and I still can't imagine saying anything like that, no matter how I felt about the baby or my friends moving on. Do better, and get therapy, lady. Best of luck to OP!

[@sunsignhealer]

As someone both unmarried and childless, I would just like to say that neither of those things is by choice. People who see someone middle aged and kid free automatically assume that it's because you hate kids. This could not be further from the truth! I love kids, always have. Unfortunately, I never met someone I wanted to spend my life with, and because of multiple medical issues I cannot cannot carry a child. But I loved being around my friends kids, as well as my niece's and nephews as they grew up! So don't assume that childless people are the same as kid-free people, you might be surprised!!!

[@mikeziegler7008]

"A" lost me when she went off about the baby's gender. What's wrong with assuming the baby's gender as it is biologically born unless/until she/he reaches an appropriate age, (at least teenage and preferably older!)? Are we really supposed to now raise ALL children as androgynous from birth onward? If she is so off base on this issue it is no surprise at all that she is gaslighting and deflecting on everything else. Who needs a "friend" like A?

[@ShakedownDreams]

Raising kids gender neutral wouldn't be an issue if it was the societal norm honestly

[@mikeziegler7008]

@@ShakedownDreams I'm glad it's not! I hope it never is.

[@ShakedownDreams]

@@mikeziegler7008 what's wrong with it? It could help a lot of kids figure themselves out easier. I'm a trans man, and it took many years of confusion and struggling to have figured it out If babies where raised gender neutral, and allowed to decide for themselves how they identify as they grew older, it could help with things like that.

[@mikeziegler7008]

@@ShakedownDreams I'm sorry you had so much confusion and struggling. But I don't see that as a reason to strip every born child of their given biology in order to shelter the few that become confused.

[@ShakedownDreams]

@@mikeziegler7008 you're not though? They're still the sex they where born as. Gender and sex are not the same thing. Sex is the biological part, gender is purely based on society. Keeping gender, a social construct, neutral until the person can figure that out for themselves would only be healthier for everyone

[@deniseslay9056]

Wow. I am only speaking for myself. If someone called my newborn baby a parasite?!?!?! They would be out of my life, so fast. I don’t care if I had known that thing my whole life.

[@marywray6046]

Tell her ex friend, that she is the answer to a question no one asked

[@bobcloy5171]

The proper response to this is to tell her you have a nice life if she’s so stupid that she thinks you guys are going to pick friendship over your child she’s insane and you don’t need this toxic person around you or your child

[@ravenwolfkittyface1802]

When this friendship inevitably ends, you KNOW that A is going to go around telling the story that OP got so absorbed in his new kid that it destroyed the friendship. What a bad person.

[@a.l.finkbeiner8253]

I did have a friend who (briefly) referred to her *own* baby as P.J. for "parasitic jellybean" when the little one was a) still inside her, and b) about the size of a jellybean - but she was VERY clearly joking about it!

[@loiracitr]

It's a great nickname!

[@JayeEllis]

Story 1: People grow and change over time. You matured, and you and your partner started a family. It's normal and natural to lose some friends over that as your lives change. You'll meet new like-minded people. Work on being a people pleaser, and try to remember that love accepts us for who we are, with room for who we will become.

[@katalinapedroza3396]

My bestest friend I’ve ever had has chosen to be child-free for the foreseeable future, and works with kids, so she is sick of children when she comes home. She has been injured by children, dealt with the worst little goblins, seen horrible parents… I have no idea how she does it. I feel like she has every right to not want to be around or hear about any children, yet she’s A’s complete opposite! It goes to show that people who value you for you, as a person, rather than what you do for them, will always remind you of that, and support you.

[@alicewilloughby4318]

Story 1 - This is a switch from the usual scenario of parents being hostile to child free people. My best guess is that she's had friends edge her out of their lives when they had kids and she didn't and is now being defensive because she's sure it's going to happen again, but I don't really know. Also, of course, the whole mess with her ex seeing her as his incubator is a huge contributor.

[@bluebeanie561]

The moment she (ex-friend) said that children are "parasitic" and "drained your energy", the OP should've thrown back the words with the addition of "you yourself would've known that".

[@catherinemann1296]

K so I'm majorly phobic of babies and kids. I get physically sweaty and shaky if someone comes near me with a baby, and I have literally no maternal instinct whatsoever, I haven't a fucking clue what to do if someone tries to hand me a baby: That being said, I would NEVER expect any of my friends to change their lives to accommodate me! My cousin has a baby and she really understands my problem, so she never asks me to hold baby or feed baby etc, if I don't want to; but I will happily push her pram, read her a story or watch her play on her mat while cousin does washing up or some shit, as long as it doesn't involve touching her, because I want baby to know she's loved by me, because I love cousin, and this is her child, and I know when baby gets older and is no longer little/can communicate and understand things better, the fear will retreat and I'll be able to actually have a good relationship with her. I will always be grateful to people who are willing to understand and respect my boundaries concerning infants, but I will never, ever ask or expect them to change their lives, choices, or schedules to accommodate me, because that's not respectful and it's not my place to do! Please do not act like A, no matter how you feel about kids! It's not your family and not your child and there is no magnetic force/god/tacky glue sticking you to either.

[@LittleMissDeath]

I'm SO thankful that all our friends are supportive of our daughter. Even the childless/child free friends are excited to see her grow and be members of our chosen friendly. I can't imagine having people like that around.

[@puppychan2086]

I'm child free, I never get very excited about other people's children and tbh it makes me feel bad because I feel like it hurts my friends feelings when things like that don't excite me. When kids are over the infant stage I actually start to really like spending time with them(like playing), I adore my nieces and nephews but I personally wasn't that excited about them when they were newborns. I could never think of saying something like this to a friend...

[@s4rcelle]

4:32 has me crying bc it reminds me of that parody tiktok where the poster's like "Erm, how dare you create a minor??? It didn't consent to being alive 🙄" omg

[@86londongirl]

Does this story remind anyone else of Cam and Mitch’s friend Sal in Modern Family? Mitchell: Sal, we got to talk. Cameron: It's about Lily. Sal: Oh, shocker. Mitchell: Okay. Do you think it's at all possible that maybe- maybe you're jealous of her? Sal: Pfft! What? What? [laughing] It's just- I don't know. I don't- Where- Why would you say that? Cameron: Well, because you won't look at any pictures of her and you talked about killing her and throwing her in the ocean.

[@TheVeggiekat]

My brother is one of those aggressive childfree types. We mutually went no contact years ago after he took a swing at my 4 year-old when I tried driving away mid-argument. He punched out my car window and smashed glass exploded all over my son. Police were called but they said it was a civil/family issue since the punch didn’t connect and hit my son and only broke out the window.

[@andrewbest4571]

I have no experience of having children, don't have children in my friend group but the idea of being so nasty about a friends child? That's not a friend, their just probably jealous of your family

[@Ninsidhe]

I wish I’d had parents as loving and committed as these dads are. So lovely to see. ❤

[@spinshocker]

Even beyond just this one person, I think it’s weird that OP and his husband are going to such lengths to walk on eggshells and “police their behavior” around their child free friends. Yeah, not everyone wants to hear baby talk, but you shouldn’t have to constantly reassure your friend group that you’ll still have time for them and basically apologize for having a child every time you do bring it up. It seems like A had some ground to see her behavior as acceptable, even if the rest of their group is more reasonable.

[@katiestrother6564]

I just had a baby a year ago - we were trying to get pregnant so it was very intentional. My 2 best friends are childless by choice which I absolutely respect. Just because you can reproduce doesn’t mean you should. They have very fulfilling lives with their spouses and fur babies. All of that being said, I definitely feel like they’ve taken a huge step back out of my life and it’s so hurtful. But they would never ever be malicious like this. I could not imagine having to deal with that at all ☹️

[@AndyyWithAY]

OP and husband need to get other friends. This is dysfunctional and crazy. OP is a doormat and needs to take a stand. They either need mainly parent friends or people without kids who are understanding. This is not working at all

[@Raytysbird4]

One of my best mates just had a baby. I hate babies, love kids. I am not child free ( just don't yet have one). Kids are where it's at, but I understand that babies come before toddlers. I get it. I love my friend, their for, I love my friend's babe. END OF STORY. I change him, feed him, play with him etc... That's what it means to be a good friend / person.

[@samvoss6697]

This story reminds of that "Modern Family" episode where Sal gets jealous of Lily because Mitch and Cam prioritize her over Sal. In all seriousness, I hope A gets the help she needs She clearly has deeper issues going on. I wish OP, their husband, and their daughter the best!

[@ljh5141]

OP and husband, please look after yourselves and baby daughter first. You deserve the happiness and all the love for your new little family. Your family comes first, before any judgemental friends. Anyone who tries to take your happiness, are just vampires of happiness, and will suck every bit of happiness, until you are as unhappy as they are. Share your happiness, but don't let it be sucked away. Take care, be happy, be healthy.

[@warrirornunluv801]

So...she's jealous of the SO and the baby... and yet see the OP see as a father figure... Electra Complex?

[@greenbeacon394]

My wife lost a friend over getting married and having our first daughter. She couldn’t except the fact that my wife was going to have the life she allegedly wanted

[@randommadman7348]

I like how her reason for hating children is because one of her partners broke up with her because he wanted kids and she didn't.

[@threeducks157]

I have childfree friends and they are the ones that ask for the most updates lol, i post a little more often than before our girls were born but not that much. For what ever reason it cracks them up how i can go out for walks with all 4 of them solo, 2 in the kangaroo carrier thingy and 2 on the stroller.

[@Musical_Pigeon]

My brother and his wife are having a baby. We are currently sharing a sewing machine because my parents gave my sewing machine away to them without asking me. I told my brother the tentative date for when I wanted my project done was the same month the baby is due. We know the gender and know that my brother and SIL don't plan on sticking to only girls or boys things. When my brother asked "You're making something for {baby's name}?" and I asked "We're using names now?" Not knowing when to start using her name. My brother said he doesn't care, but said not to worry about finishing the project by the due date because {baby's name} won't know she's really existing for a few months.

[@singingwordwright148]

Were I OP, I would have shut that down after the first facebook comment. "Clearly, you've mistaken me for someone who fucking asked." Ugh.

[@TNTMAN360]

Perfect timing just eating my mom's delicious stir fry best on the beach

[@MarkNarrations]

Lovely stuff, good Mom 😊❤

[@TNTMAN360]

@@MarkNarrations she says thank you

[@katiesmith2031]

@@TNTMAN360 🤤 stir fry yummy

[@legtemal7304]

My mom made stir fry too! Shrimp n stuff! Hope ya enjoy yours!!

[@TNTMAN360]

@@legtemal7304 mine was chicken stir fry not a big fan of shrimp stir fry but I live on the coast so I love steamed shrimp

[@lacewinglml]

I was never able to have a kid, but I love all my friends children. Have helped them potty train, taken them on trips, and in all been that awesome "friend auntie" I teach all my adoptees how (and when) to cuss to mixed amusement and mild annoyance to my friends lol. I ended up adopting an adult young woman who's family abandoned her. She has been accepted by all my friends and family who have taken her in as readily as I have. While yeah parents who get completely nuts about thier kids can be annoying. but I love baby pictures.

[@hospitalqueen4047]

Im pregnant with my first and only baby boy and if i didn't want kids i wouldn't treat my friends or family who wants a baby like that "friend" is.

[@LilChuunosuke]

I'm a child-free adult and do feel really uncomfortable around kids due to me being somewhat socially inept and not knowing how to interact with them. That being said, I NEVER let MY feelings on kids interfere with my friends' choices on having children and never talk crap about it. If any of my friends had kids, not only would I tell them about the less spoken about parts of pregnancy that I've learned over the years, but I would help them with household chores before and after childbirth if they needed me, support them as best as I can, and, hell, I'd even babysit if they needed me to! I'd recommend they try to find someone who is more adept at dealing with kids first, but if there are no other reasonable options, I WILL do it. MY choices about kids should not effect how my friends live their lives. I was living with a friend while getting back on my feet after escaping an abusive household and I allowed them to let the grandchild call me Auntie, would play with her, and would keep an eye on her when needed. I preferred not to be left alone with her, but they wanted me to bond with her and she liked me. I was super awkward and uncomfortable, but I'm not going to push them or this little girl away just because I don't want to be a parent.

[@Becks222]

I wonder if the friend is one of those types where two guys being married is okay but them having a child is not.

[@ruthlys]

Ive a cousin who stated on FB how much he hated kids and could not stand any kid pics at all. Period. So i promptly scanned, uploaded and tagged him i every baby/toddler/young kid pic i had of him in the family albums for all his friends to see. Touche!! 🤣

[@Endonia-ym3sl]

She felt threatened by a literal baby. That's all that needs to be said. She is not safe to be around the baby with that attitude.

[@MissDeniseR]

1st story, Congratulations, stop trying to accommodate the people around you if they love and care about you then they will be happy for you, cut this witch out of your life, she is bitter that you and your partner are happy, don't set yourself on fire to keep her warm.

[@DreadlockPatriot]

When we had our first we were just like OP, so cautious about posting too much and turning into “those parents”… but there’s this shift that happens when you have kids. All of a sudden everything that was important before suddenly seems… ridiculous. You start to see the world with completely new eyes. There’s literally a part of your brain that does not wake up until you have children, and you see and think about things in a completely new way. It’s wild. It doesn’t happen overnight, but there was some point within that first year that suddenly I wasn’t so concerned with what everyone else thought, I had new and more beautiful priorities. I hope OP and his family are still doing well!

[@swiftninja91]

Imagine being so insecure you're jealous of and angry at a BABY ... God damn. That woman is not a friend