I Told My Husband He's A Bad Father When He Prioritised One Of His Children r/Relationships

[@frozenheart7133]

“I in no way take over the parenting role” oh honey, yes you did. Her dads role. This girl has 2 moms and 0 dad.

[@justine8387]

Yeah, it's strange that people think that parenting is just discipline and big decisions.

[@vanzy01]

💯👍

[@dimsufferer9951]

@@Llama_Whispererwrong comment

[@randalthor741]

When do you ever hear a story about a stepmother trying to keep the father from showing favoritism to her own child over her stepchild? All stepparents should be like OP.

[@audreym3908]

Yep, and also teaching her youngest about compromises and not to be spoiled (except for love) and not getting so much attention (still gets attention but also learning how to share and setting boundaries of something that she doesn't want to share and what can be shared).

[@asherikamichaela8425]

Exactly. OP is the gold standard. Not just as a step-parent, but as a parent in general. 100% A+

[@onepieceisking5493]

Not surprised that his pride was hurt when op called him a bad father. He couldn't handle the truth so his response was to sleep on the couch and not talk to his wife, real mature😒. I see why he was divorced. At least in the update he finally realized how horrible he's been and is actually trying to do better.

[@trond-ivaringebrigtsen2077]

@@onepieceisking5493 Truth, you got to see that this is such with heavy moderation. It's all bs. She proclaims him as good father, experienced and active. I'm sure he acts on reasons, but this airhead is over focused on her own point of view, she is upset he doen't folow her every whim. Calling him a bad father should make him upset. Pride? How about she appologize and mind her own buisness, no matter how buddy you are with bio mom, that's a whole dynamic you can only ever watch from the outside, things might be happening that she is blind to, and in any case she refuses to be generous enough to to admit that maybe he prioritizes as he sees the need to.

[@amalielk]

The dad has one thing going for him; he has excellent taste in women. Let's hope he'll look to them when/if he modifies his own behavior

[@sunflowerglo5492]

Ashley wouldn’t have a chance if her stepmother wasn’t so awesome. Imagine if she matched the husband’s favoritism. I’m glad she stood up for her.

[@holeymcsockpuppet]

Ask yourself something. If you were a guy who went through a bad divorce, how would you feel if your new wife and your daughter neglected you in favor of your ex...except for your money. He's favoring Hannah because Hannah demonstrates that she loves him. He feels unwanted by everyone else. She's not "standing up for Ashley"...she's showing favoritism to her best friend...his ex.

[@spdnb]

​​@@holeymcsockpuppet bro, she's 10. How's a man gonna feel cornered by his newly chosen wife and his 10 year old daughter!? That's a "maybe the problem is you" type of thing for the husband. Maybe he should've gave Ashley to the ex and sorted himself out emotionally and psychologically before remarrying? Just a thought 🙂 Edit :"but OP is friends with the ex!" She's not locked out of platonic relationships just cause husband doesn't like her. They have knowing the husband in common, and perhaps met via their individual connection with him anyway, so it would've been impossibly awkward to just pretend the ex doesn't exist. Besides, the more you isolate yourself the more socially vulnerable you leave yourself.

[@holeymcsockpuppet]

@@spdnb you are obviously a woman.

[@Sammy-op8np]

​@@holeymcsockpuppetyou literally can't be serious

[@hothotheat3000]

He only apologized after OP basically forced him to. I don’t think he’s sorry.

[@JuanRodriguez-tf7fh]

That's what therapy was for 🙄

[@rickraber1249]

I don't know how sorry he is, but he seemed to realize he stepped in it pretty good. What a nitwit.

[@nationalsocialism3504]

Obviously he was taking his resent about his ex out on his daughter which is totally wrong... there's no reason to believe that he wouldn't be sorry & try to make amends once he realized how stupid he was being. I dont think that "Therapy" is the answer to everything but clearly it is needed here... he was able to be present for his oldest until he had another daughter without the baggage that came with it so he fixated on her instead.

[@DBG-fh7io]

It’s not up for you to decide ❤

[@madambutterfly1997]

We need more stepmothers like OP

[@audreym3908]

I've heard the term "bonus mom" before and I really love it. Ashely has her bio mom and bonus mom and Hannah has the same.

[@momo382844]

Agree!

[@TheOtherSideoftheLookingGlass]

Amen to that!

[@mick3405]

Heck yes!! OP did everything right and more in her situation! This is literally an example of great communication in a blended family! She is not overstepping, makes sure her stepdaughter’s bio mom is included and treats her stepchild like her own and makes sure everything of fair between the sisters!!! I LOVED how she handled it!

[@kaybee29]

Right???

[@DarkCrystalSage]

Ditch the husband, take the wife

[@audreym3908]

My thoughts exactly 😂

[@FlashQuatsch]

Korrasami irl 😂

[@lunahix4815]

This would be a great outcome.

[@alyzu4755]

Perfect!

[@rivertam7827]

Honestly thought that the two mums would be perfect together, at least the kids would have two good parents under one roof

[@AndyyWithAY]

OP is an amazing step-parent. You love to see it 🙌🏾🙌🏾 But, Jack is garbage and I'd be contemplating a divorce. Ashley had every right to be furious and cold to him and she still gave him a chance to watch the video with her. He makes a jab at her mom. He's such an out of pocket POS.

[@annali7189]

Well you can tell why Jack and Ashley's mom got divorced. At least when he read the post he realized how wrong he was and decided to fix it.

[@MrJpaynebb]

Glad OP showed Jack the post and how he was getting ripped a new one for how he treated Ashley. He's got a chance to recover and fix things right now but it's a small window so he better not mess it up.

[@alyzu4755]

It's sad that some partners need a third party to show them that they're being an AH.

[@ynmonroe]

@andyawe13 Yep. While listening, I wondered if OP actually considered how he might treat her daughter if they ever divorce. This is pretty extreme. I mean, he went from an involved dad to punishing his oldest daughter? I mean this was nasty behavior and for what? I do hope he is an honest actor and will change for the better, but if I were OP, I would definitely keep my eyes on it.

[@ineedhoez]

Agreed. I don't think he is really sorry. He just doesn't want to lose OP.

[@a.m.1528]

One of the best comments on the 2nd post that you didn't go over asked OP something like, "Do you ask questions because you want clarification on the material, or to show off to the other students and the professor how smart you are?" That's really the best litmus test of whether or not the question needs to be asked in that moment.

[@Regrettable-Username]

Story 2: I was lowkey this student too, so when my professor would go to ask a question to the class she'd turn to me and let me know I'd hit my limit. That other students needed to have the chance to engage. But if no one answered she'd turn to my table and let me and my partner in crime answer. It was a fun arrangement and she's an amazing professor who I miss

[@abubarrie88]

Sadly everyone hates a know it all who raises their hand to answer questions because they know the material. That’s who everyone should be studying with cuz their probably passing the class. So too is the person asking questions during class if he he was getting annoyed he shouldn’t have called on her and embarrassed her in class. College students and professors are both adults respect goes both ways and he disrespected her unnecessarily, he should have apologized to her in front of the class Public disrespect needs a public apology

[@madambutterfly1997]

You’re never the asshole for pointing out bad parenting

[@technicaldifficulties368]

Only if you're right that it's bad parenting. Some people consider every way that isn't their way to be "bad parenting".

[@holeymcsockpuppet]

​@@technicaldifficulties368 in this case, OP is painting a skewed picture. It sounds like Hannah is the only one who loves this guy.

[@yoyopron]

When I was in undergrad, we had a student who asked so many unnecessary questions that she would completely derail lectures. It got to the point that the class requested a three-question limit. We were all extremely relieved when the professor granted it. They weren't questions about important points. For example, one of them was basically, "You just talked about music in Buddhism. In my religion, we also have music. Are these things similar?" Like, yes, Sandra, music in religion is a thing, you haven't made some profound insight. Some people ask questions to learn. Some people ask questions because they want attention.

[@notacatnt]

Have a coursemate just like that. Obsessed with Japan but completely wrong about everything. Also finds a way to bring everything back to Hiroshima/Nagasaki, which feels grossly insensitive. I've appealed to lecturers, mind you, but I think if we hadn't finished lectures as early as we did I would have thrown something across the room.

[@happilyeverafter7703]

Oh, I had a classmate like that in college. It started with a few questions and then got to the point where it's like listening to a phone call between her and our teacher. It got so bad that our fellow classmates started ostracizing her that she was quiet for the rest of the semester. I would've felt sorry for her if she wasn't actually shooting down other people's questions to fire her own. I was the girl in front of her and my best friend was to her right.

[@Nortarachanges]

I was also this kid, I just waited until after class to ask during the professors’ open door period. Always blew me away other students didn’t take advantage of that. Like we had a study group that met to do homework together 25 feet away from the professor’s office. I know figuring it out ourselves is how we learn best, but we’d spent 46 minutes on this vaguely worded physics problem, Sheryl. Please let me just ask for clarification T,T

[@caridadchang7895]

With solely this one post I have to ask, how the heck did Jack marry above his league not once but twice? Both these women could do better and he is lucky only ONE has realized thus far. Hope he actually improves for the sake of the girls.

[@jlyo1991]

A LOT of women are attracted to men who treat them like shit. It’s like they would rather bitch about their husband than have one that treats them properly. I’ve met a good many and I’d bet most everyone knows at least one of these women.

[@ec4145]

I totally agree, and I've noticed there is a pattern among people I've known that kind, patient people end up with terrible, selfish people. I assume it's because only kind people will tolerate them, and kind people are so unfamiliar with the motivations of selfish people, they genuinely don't realize their partner isn't coming from the same open and considerate mindset. Kind people usually reflect on how they might contribute to problems, and that gets taken advantage of by self-serving people who are otherwise charismatic. First wife must have finally realized she wasn't the problem. Sounds like second wife finally started to see the problem, too, because I doubt he woke up after six years of being perfect and started being a turd to a child out of the blue.

[@Tony.Dreamer]

Failing upwards

[@blackroseinbloom]

I had a similar experience to story 2 except I was in first grade. The teacher pretty much told me it was bad to ask so many questions and raise my hand a lot to answer questions even when nobody else wanted to answer. I never spoke up in class afterwards and she had the audacity to drop my end of the year participation grade citing “she doesn’t speak up in class. She might be socially inept.” She ruined me. Edit: I remember asking questions mostly to translate to the kids in the class who only spoke Spanish. When I’d answer questions, it’s because half the kids in the class didn’t understand what was being asked of them. The No Child Left Behind policy was in place, but it was still not being strongly enforced by the school I went to. This was in the mid 2000’s so all but four members of the staff were white in a predominantly mexican and filipino community.

[@audreym3908]

What a hypocrite teacher. Don't ask any/too many questions/answer or why aren't you participating in class? Pick one.

[@skeleton_appreciator]

exact same, even in first grade as well. i’ve bounced back, but i still feel insecure about it because of her

[@paulinadeboer3604]

There IS a middle between to much and to little interactions If someone puts his hand up and i call the name to say he can ask me this an another time but i can't get a word in because he start asking his questions not 1 but 3 i would be anoyed too. I only don't know if the story is True. I mean the professor hugged him, yeah NO that makes it unbelievable

[@bonefetcherbrimley7740]

Hunt her down and gently egg her house.

[@devchekhov7512]

What kind of AH teacher writes "socially inept" on a child's report card?!

[@cassieosbourne7666]

He didn’t miss Hannah’s first, he still went to see her first two dance recitals. He didn’t have to go to all three!

[@tully6648]

Story 1: Ah, so Hannah's OP's husband's do-over baby. He couldn't hack it with Ashley's mom, so he's looking at raising Hannah in a way that makes him feel better. Ashley's close enough to getting near puberty and he figures she has her mom to take care of her, so he's decided to focus on the new, shiny baby. "Too bad" for him that OP isn't brooking that s-t, so Ashley is getting well taken care of whether he screws up or not.

[@youarehere594]

OP is the stepmom that all kids should have. She respects Ashleys boundaries, keeps a good relationship with her mother, and is willing to make sure that her husband treats his daughter the same as their daughter. Unless things drastically change in the future, she's going to find herself in the "fun grandma" role.

[@MsTemptation]

S1: Op is the most awesome person that I’ve read on these post in a long while. You know you’re a great person when the ex-wife and stepchild love you.

[@yesthatmousyiris4887]

I love hearing stories of ex wife/husbands is friends with the stepmom/dad we have so many stories of the ex being shitty to stepmom/dad

[@Indi_Waffle_Girl]

​@@yesthatmousyiris4887 amen, to your comment and the original one!

[@swedishmeatball4382]

@@yesthatmousyiris4887 Ooooh, do I have a story for you! All names are changed for privacy's sake. My uncle's SIL, Ann, was married to Eric and they had two kids. They grew apart and had an amicable divorce with no others people involved, and shared custody. Among other things they decided to alternate Christmas, so one year the kids would be with Ann and the next with Eric. A couple of years later Ann met Mike. He was recently divorced from Lisa and they had two kids quite close in age to Ann's children. They also had had an amicable divorce with no other people ivolved and a similar custody agreement. A year later Ann and Mike lived together, and Christmas came along. Both had the kids over Christmas, and began discussing this fact and that Eric and Lisa both would be alone. Wouldn't it be nice if they could all spend Christmas together? So, they invited both Eric and Lisa, who had never met. They clicked immediately and moved in together a couple of months later. And yes, all this would have been much more complicated or sensitive if any of the couples had broken up because of one of the other parties involved.

[@roserocks1979]

Props to the stepmother. She really went out of her way to treat both kids equally. And to get along with her stepdaughter's bio mom. Hopefully with therapy all of the family will be better.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

OP's definitely NTA here. OP is being a great stepmother. Her husband on the other hand is not a good dad. I don't know why he's being mean to his eldest and playing favorites with his youngest, though I suspect that he has some kind of grudge against his baby mama. I'm glad OP knocked some sense into him, although I wouldn't have blamed her if she decided to leave him.

[@tully6648]

He specifically got mad at OP for buying Ashely new shoes because he "gives his ex enough already" (paraphrased), so he definitely has issues with his ex. He was so focused on the money OP had used that he completely failed to see that she did it for his daughter, and only saw his ex as getting something for free. Unfortunately, he probably thinks of Hannah as being "the do-over baby." Things didn't work out with his ex, their child will be going through puberty soon enough, and he figures she has three parents instead of two so she's covered. Meanwhile, he has OP and gets to do over raising a child with his wife from the start.

[@lux0rd01]

I vote she divorces the husband and marries the ex-wife instead. The two mum's would make amazing parents together

[@restinwalken]

As others said Misplaced hated/annoynce at Ashley mother. Whether because he's mad at the divorce or just that they got toxic even if happy to not be married. There are alot of men/parents whom have to pay child support to the other parent and even when that support is no where what it would cost if the kid was living with them they get it in their head that the money is being paid and used exclusively by the adult and only the adult. An not being used for the kid (which is the case sometimes but not always) I'd bet he's showing favorites because he resents that fact he has to pay Ashley's mother support period. And it bleeds into how he see/treats Ashley.

[@restinwalken]

​@@tully6648 yep do over baby with new wife more important than old baby with divorced wife. Especially since Ashley doesn't live with them primarily. Ashley is no longer his Nuclear Family she a add on.

[@vanzy01]

💯👍

[@meechiebaby493]

Story 1: OP is the most awesome bonus mom. I love stories like this. Couples who can talk through their issues/problems = couple goals. Good on them for working it out.

[@luka_va]

The last story makes me very happy for online college. It’s always more chill, all of the material is there for you to look at, and you can get into contact with others to have study sessions

[@thesensationaladventuresof1150]

oh man, I feel this second story so much. I had undiagnosed ADHD and was/still am a mature student studying a highly competitive degree area too. I'm also incredibly sensitive, when a teacher I had a wonderful working=relationship with mentioned that my classmates had approached her to discuss my questions and contributions in class, I was so entirely mortified I refused to attend in person until I could get the official ADHD diagnosis because while I had been told as a child I was 'borderline' for adhd and autism, no treatment or support plan had ever been put in place. I'm now half way through my second year of study after some bumps in the road - including the one I just described but there were more lol - and I started medication to support me with my ADHD. WHY DID NO ONE EVER TELL ME IT DOESN'T TAKE HALF HOUR TO LOAD THE DISHWASHER. Time blindness, initiating and switching tasks, organising thoughts etc are all things I struggled with and am seeing improvements with the right treatment. This is just another reason we need to distigmatise mental health issues so we can foster a more open conversation about it, leading to more people getting the help and support they need WITHOUT compounding the situation with guilt and shame that sticks with us and without therapy to undo it, follows us into adulthood.

[@colleens1107]

Oh I truly feel for OP in story 2: they were over compensating because they had an AH of a science teacher trying to kill her dream to be a dr. I hope OP gets into med school etc etc and then go back to that jerk and say”hey guess what? ITS DR OP NOW.”

[@Kris-wo4pj]

Like the science teacher was right. They were not going to pass med school or even get in a good one since they had no work ethic. No work ethic is fine in high school cuz its literally just a pipe line to a dipolma ya have to really screw up to not pass high school. College esp med school is designed to weed out those people.

[@asherikamichaela8425]

True. I'm also wondering if OP perhaps has ADHD and/or is somewhere on the autistic spectrum. I am and I've run into very similar situations. Going to extremes in learning environments like this isn't uncommon for us, likewise for the reactions noted.

[@JW-vd4il]

By university, most people expect that one understands basic classroom etiquette. Both the professor and other students don't expect one student to continually be interrupting lecture. It's not about raising your hand, you just shouldn't be raising your hand during lecture. Generally. I feel for you guys but if you didn't know OP's behavior was bad, your high schools really did you wrong. Here's a good rule of thumb, in general. Is everybody asking questions or only you? This all goes for professional meetings, as well. Most lectures or meetings will have a QA time AT THE END. If it is a "discussion," that is another situation that everybody will be asking questions as they come up. Otherwise, make notes for yourself of what to ask at the end or if there's no QA at the end, that's when you go to office hours or in a job environment ask a colleague or your boss LATER. Pay attention to what other people are doing! If you do have some autism-spectrum situation, it is up to whether you want to tell a prof or boss that, "please give me a sign if I accidentally overstep." But some of it you really have to just "read the room," as the popular saying is, these days. Best wishes. I'm truly trying to give some helpful advice!

[@asherikamichaela8425]

@JW-vd4il I'm not saying it wasn't poorly done. 😅 It absolutely was. I'm just noting that OP displayed behaviors that I recognize in myself. I'm in therapy to help mitigate and correct them as best I can (along with a list of other reasons), and so is OP.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

Damn, OP in Story 2 broke my heart when they said their mind was racing and they felt compelled to ask any question.

[@ivy456]

s2. The professor was wong for embarrassing OP. There's no excuse for that. OP did deserve an apology from the professor. But I can understand why OP might be annoying. Some students can be really annoying asking questions. They often ask questions that are already told in the lecture or already asked before. However I think YTA is too hard for OP. OP meant well and the professor could've just said that questions can be asked at the end of the lecture.

[@meiwa2020]

Rare is the step mom who is this mature about things. So sweet. I dated a guy with a 7 yr daughter that I grew to love. Even years after our break up she'd still run up to me to hug me whenever she saw me and I loved it! I have no clue what's going on now but I do hope that she one day ends up with someone as sweet and wonderful as this OP for a step mom who puts her just as high as her own child because true love should have enough to go around ❤ so sweet of OP and love how mature OP and the other mom are for the kids ❤

[@Mia-dt3gl]

The professor in Story 2 should have apologized to OP in front of the class because his behavior was inappropriate.

[@mick3405]

Agreed. The Professor could have handled the situation differently. Sure, OP was asking a lot a questions, but the Professor SHOULD NOT have berated OP in the middle of class. I’m happy that OP was able to work it out with his Professor.

[@saratronus]

In my class something similar happened and the professor told her in the most calm voice and kind That he is willing to answer questions after class But right now he needs to finish the lecture because he only has a limited amount of time but he is not hiding from questions and he is willing to. Answer any questions for not only her but anyone else who was still confused on the subject but to see him after class. That's how it should be handled. That's the professional way of doing it not yelling at the member rating them in front of the whole class but calmly speaking to them like grown adults. I would have reported them to their higher up because this kind of behavior is unacceptable. I don't care if that makes me sound like a Karen.

[@saratronus]

​@@mick3405 OP clarified that they were on their 2nd question so technically they only Asked one before this. And in the previous class they only asked 2 to 3. Which given my experience in college is normal

[@neko3571]

@@saratronus Yeah 2-3 question is normal in class, I think reddit was idiot in this one. She can not be a medical student becuase of that......

[@MargaritaOnTheRox]

​@@saratronus imagine if everyone in the class asked 2-3 questions a lecture? That's not normal.

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 1- OP is way too good for her husband!

[@messinalyle4030]

I guess it was just a lapse of judgement on the Story 2 professor's part to not respond to OP's raised hand with "Let's hold questions until the end, please." That's been pretty universal protocol among the professors I've had. Calling on OP only to berate them in public was totally unnecessary and it would have cut me to the core, too--especially if I had a goal like going to med school, plus that degree of insecurity caused by the awful high school teacher having told me I might as well give up. But the professor sounds like he must have been a fundamentally good person and caring teacher at heart, from how he hugged OP in that final conversation and apologized unprompted. And that was great that they ended up becoming friends after all of this.

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

I can understand wanting to take any question because it may be beneficial to answer for the group as a whole, only to be disappointed/ frustrated to find out it's something that only applies to OP's understanding, especially repeatedly. Where the professor went wrong was not asking OP to email him the question or bring it to office hours and discussing their scope of asking questions privately. "That's a great question, but we don't have time for it now, come see me later." works wonders.

[@mrs.h2725]

OP sounds like he’s fully aware that he bogarts professors’ attention and has been called out many times but it took this professor having a snapped moment to shake some sense into him. Good that he’s seeking therapy, and starting to recognize that if everyone is saying you’re the ahole, you are the problem. I suffer from anxiety issues and ADHD in similar ways, such as having a really hard time keeping my thoughts to myself or asking too many questions instead of waiting for the more appropriate time. Therapy and self awareness is the only way to help that.

[@solmas2111]

Op might be the asshole but damn the professor(s) could handle this a lot better. It's almost always better to pull someone aside and give them solutions, etc. Or explain something then berate them in public. It's not professional.

[@SidereusOfTheFallen]

@@slytherinlibrarian3501 I don't know where so many people went to college because we were never even looked at the wrong way for asking questions, even those that were mostly pertaining to our personal situation and understanding, in class. But I don't live in the US.

[@feistsorcerer2251]

​@@SidereusOfTheFallenIn a lot the US a hatred of students that ask questions is instilled in a lot of people from the time they're small children, so if someone does actually go overboard people are often inappropriately mean to them. This is compounded by the fact it's usually neurodivergent students who ask a lot of questions so people already feel comfortable being mean to them. If someone is asking too many questions it can definitely be annoying but that's easily handled by a professor behaving appropriately and asking them to hold the questions until after the lecture.

[@hanoh2904]

It's a shame that an adult needs a stranger to tell him to love his own daughter

[@chazk4110]

Where does the sudden venom come from? It has been years. What an ahole unless he is jealous that ex is happy? Op is amazing.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Both women in S1 sound amazing! They communicate well, they take care of eachother's kids with love. They seem to co-parent really well and they take immediate action when there's problems like the favouritism. Even the man in the story decides to go to therapy without huffing and puffing and acknowledges his mistake with an apology to daughter almost immediately after the women pointed out he's in the wrong.👌

[@neritique]

The OP in the 1st story reminded me a lot about my step mother. Or as I and my siblings call her, Bonus Mom. It made me feel really nice. I love to hear of other good step parents. Emotionally well adjusted step parental figures are so rare.

[@sapphicgeek24]

OP needs to ditch her husband and run off with Ashley's bio mom.

[@khaleesireyna731]

A true bi solution!

[@schwagecko5589]

I ship it! 😂 ❤

[@princesssunshine874]

This relationship is really tough.... It sounds like family counseling with mom included is really important.

[@Faith12996]

As someone who hates asking questions. I appreciate people like OP 2. And if a question is ever too detailed to answer, the correct respond is always "send me and email or come to office hours". Professors are not a parent that should be shaming any college student. I'm thankful I never had any professors like that.

[@jackspring7709]

NTA: He's clearly showing favouritism - and I would term that 'bad parenting' - well done on calling him out.

[@amyyaku5022]

Story 2: This story is confusing to me. Depending on the lecture students ask more than 2-3 questions. And if the teacher doesn't have time to answer they tell students to ask during office hours and refuse to answer anymore. It's good OP was able to deal with their trauma but I feel like the students and teachers just singled out OP for not being "normal" and actually wanting to learn something during a lecture.

[@sadtitties222]

Agreed! I'm sorry, but it feels like the class and the professor have it out for OP and this may have been a case of systematic bullying. Seriously, the class is still mad at OP even after the update?! Holy hell, OP did not commit some crime against humanity by simply asking questions, lol.

[@huitzilopochtlisexy9975]

But he did say the professor complained that he asked a question every 5 min, that is too much. In lectures usually you only ask questions at the end so the flow doesnt get interrupted. Thats the difference with classes, courses, seminars, etc. there you can ask anytime and the students are asked to engage, but a lecture is there for the professor to lecture, to speak without interrupting. But it maybe its different in other universities and subjects.

[@dionysus_adores]

He also yelled at op this professor is very concerning just say hold all questions until after the lecture not call on student then make yell at them

[@superzooperhaze6597]

@@huitzilopochtlisexy9975 ...maybe lecture is just a regional difference here? a lecture is kind of just a speech given to the class, isn't it? because the only type of course i can recall taking where there wasn't lecturing literally every single time the class met were ensembles and labs (music/biochem double major, very weird combination lol). professors who don't want questions usually just say "no questions yet please to save time" and if a professors actively calls on a student and then berates them for doing what they were called on to do then that professor is an asshole

[@wmdkitty]

@@sadtitties222 LOL, sure, they're all organized and bullying OP. Riiiiight. Consider that maybe OP is just that much of a pretentious, time-wasting dick.

[@karenthurman4953]

This Woman is truly a "BONUS" MOM!!

[@owl7072]

Story 2: the others mentioning Op being "too much" is one thing, but literally _nothing whatsoever_ justifies that professor calling on Op, asking what question they had, and then berating them for asking a question! You don't get to invite someone to do something then berate them for doing it! Wtf is wrong with this professor???? If you don't want questions asked, then tell them "If you have questions please reach out to me outside of class" don't fucking let them ask anyway then embarrass/berate them in front of everyone, that's just common sense and decency.

[@Wolvesbane39]

Thank you! All the YTA made me so mad! Honestly prof could have asked OP after class to just not ask too many questions, or save them to the end of the lecture if there was time, maybe even email them! But nope, he just decided he was gonna shame OP in front of everyone.

[@dimsufferer9951]

@@KonekoPurrrfectionthat doesn’t justify anything

[@kams9836]

Op literally said they would ask any question due to anxiety, possibly including questions that did not correlate with corse material. This can really throw off a lecture, especially if it was the second non related question.

[@saratronus]

Normally I'm allowed to record lectures and if I was in that lecture and I recorded that I would have taken that to the Dean because that's unacceptable. I'm allowed to record due to a disability. Don't understand how that works but it's a benefit.

[@damien678]

I bet she has ADHD. She sounds a lot like me and my symptoms Are Not Mild.

[@ten5h1]

OP in story 1 would be referred to as a “bonus mom”

[@audreym3908]

Yep

[@audreym3908]

Also Ashely's mom as a bonus mom to Hannah too when both girls are there.

[@herta82]

Story 1: shout out to Op and the mother... This is how it should be!

[@samssams666]

Story 2 THIS IS WHY STUDENTS WITH STRUGGLES LIKE ADHD OR AUTISM DO NOT ASK ANY QUESTIONS AT ALL! If the teacher NEVER mentioned this before to OP, then I don’t understand completely the majority of these comments saying that OP is the asshole. People with ADHD can't help having questions, but the teacher shouldn't have been a dickhead about it, he should've took OP aside after class and told them about writing down questions like another commenter suggested.

[@keul2704]

Except other professors noted this to OP before, which caused them to stop asking so much in those particular classes. It’s on OP to make those changes. It’s a situation where if you’re hearing it from multiple people, you probably need to take some more time to stop that behavior or at least curtail it. Not to mention that this was FAR from berating, though that is how OP might’ve felt (it does seem that OP is more focused on how they were wronged as opposed to addressing why they could be wrong themselves). OP clearly has an issue relating to setting their own boundaries with the number of questions to ask, and knowing which questions are more helpful to the flow of the lecture versus unhelpful. While I don’t agree with the professor saying this out loud to the room, another indication that this is an issue is that there were a number of students who took the time to thank the professor for doing so. And then after all of this, OP wanted to demand an apology? On the spectrum or not, there is a startling lack of self awareness that was the main factor of the ENTIRE issue.

[@saratronus]

​@@keul2704 But notice the way the different professors handle it the others talk to op appropriately as And professionally unlike this professor who addressed him in a completely inappropriate manner. Not to mention opie only asked one other question before the teacher lost his s***. I'm sorry but if you're a professor and you got upset after one question find another job because 2 to 3 questions in a lecture is normal. At least from my experience

[@keul2704]

@@saratronus saying to a student that they can’t answer questions every 5 minutes, while hyperbolic, is not them losing their shit. And I’ve already explained that I thought that their approach was bad form. Also judging by the way that OP had not only written the post, but had explained later that it was “only 2-3 questions”, either says that they are not being truthful in their portrayal of the events (due to their admitted arrogance and lack of self reflection), or say that their questions are long or include multiple parts. Even then, that’s still disrupting the lecture, which judging by their comments likely was in fact times, which throws off not only the lecture’s flow but also further impacts the class and their ability to even hear the lecture being given on time. This is also clear by the way the classmates thanked the professor as this is a consistent behavior that is not only annoying others, but is also not contributing positively to the lecture.

[@wmdkitty]

OP is just a pretentious a-hole who is wasting everybody else's time and money with pointless questions.

[@saratronus]

@Keul Listen to? The. Story? Again. Because berating and student after you select Them To ask A Question is unacceptable as a professor. OP wasn't flirting out questions they had their hand up If the professor did not want to ask questions and the professor should have ignored the raised hand. My professor had a similar issue and he handled it a 100 times better than this professor he didn't Braint anyone he talked calmly and ask anyone to see him after class with questions. And I don't know what college you go to. But asking 2 to 3 questions in one lecture that is 55 minutes long is normal. By your logic everyone in my math class is a******* because everyone in my math class at least ask 1 to 2 questions.

[@cnow82]

I was in pre med. the people that take over class are frustrating. It means we spend most of the time listening to them instead of hearing the lecture.

[@Faith12996]

I agree with that but the people that tend to take over the class are rarely the ones asking clarifying questions but answering the teachers' questions in my experience

[@Sunnyside55]

We definitely need more step moms like story 1!! What a awesome person she is!!

[@juandavid03]

Story 2: "im seriously thinking of demanding an apology" Why? Just do what you did and schedule some time with the teacher, that eay you're not interrupting everyone else's class, and you get to ask your question (which sometimes might judt be answered during the course of the lecture)

[@kristy1653]

Exactly. And also, demanding an apology is nothing more than a power play to get the other person to submit to you. You can’t demand someone actually feel remorse or feel sorry. Personally, I don’t want an apology from anyone unless it’s genuine.

[@kiwifreund]

First story: it's so nice to hear about step-parents who want healthy relationships. I am still working out relationships between all my parents, and it doesn't help that my most chaotic and unhealthy parent passed away when I was 22. My remaining bio parent asked me recently if the deceased parent spoke badly about them, and I had to walk them through why no matter what the deceased parent said, we would never get satisfaction or closure. Also, I am 49 now, and I never stop being someone's daughter. So if your kid has a performance, go to that performance. And hey, if your parent has a performance, go to that performance.

[@togatampubolon5948]

OP husband didn't count his blessing to have wonderful wives.

[@yesthatmousyiris4887]

I wonder why Jack favored Hannah over Ashley, is it because Ashley is from his previous relationship?

[@susankaempfer8427]

Yeah. I feel like he’s definitely taking out his resentment of the exwife on his daughter.

[@Red-jt6uu]

Ashley probably reminds him too much of his ex. I imagine that the only reason why he hadn’t completely signed away his parental rights is to avoid looking like a monster to any women he might be interested in, especially if his goal was to have another child.

[@yesthatmousyiris4887]

@@susankaempfer8427 He needs therapy that's not right

[@robertbobert9730]

Second story NTA because like, if a teacher gets mad at you for asking questions then they’re a bad teacher

[@aga3852]

Story 2 hurt so much because I am that kid. The worst part is when you do shut down and no longer participate, THEY STILL GET ANGRY. They complain no one acts or cares about class but they get angry when you make relevant comments/questions. I can't tell you how many times the class is absolutely silent, and then get stressed when no one reacts. Fuck that. That is why I try to just stay silent and let everything go quiet. That is why online learning is better for this reason, teachers can actually teach you and you don't have to compete with 30+ students. Such a bad system.

[@TwiggyHetfield27]

Story 2 seems more like an ESH. If OP has been doing this in all their classes then yea, they know they're the problem. BUT for the professor to berate them in front of the whole class... that's an AH move as well. I once had a professor berate me in front of the whole class for something that wasn't even my doing. I dropped the class immediately because I knew that wouldn't be the last time.

[@anonymouslee2083]

Story 1: from now on whenever I read bad step parent stories, I’ll remember that all the good in them went to OP.

[@joshuaortega1852]

Sounds to me like Jack is bitter about the break up with Ashley's mom and is taking it out on Ashley.

[@AlexxeMJFAN]

Both OPs are amazing ! OP 1 is an amazing, caring and wholesome step-mother for Ashley. She even considered her as her own daughter, and i hope her husband will understand more about how his behavior against his ex and Ashley are making them hating him.. I Hope we'll have more updates about all of this, OP and Ashley's mom are amazing ! OP 2 is a really mature, passionnate and take school very seriously, and i'm so happy that they seek help for their anxiety and everything. I'm so proud of them both, i hope the real best for them! We love you, dear OPs❤❤❤

[@vidhead85]

Omg, I wish more stepmoms were like OP. She really is a great person who wants the best for everyone. Those girls are so lucky to have her! I love that she also gets along w the bio Mom. This is a very wholesome end to a usually messy story

[@malinbergvall]

Regarding the student story I find it interesting how different the university culture can be in different countries. Here in Sweden we're encouraged to ask questions during class since many classmates probably wonder the same thing, and to take any longer or less relevant questions or things we don't grasp during the 15 minute breaks or after class. There's usually a line of students with extra questions each break. But questions later are strongly discouraged since the teachers think that indicates that you weren't paying attention in class. We're encouraged to ask our classmates for help, and only if we can't figure out the answer as a class should we email to ask the teacher.

[@leaflet1686]

Story 2: Poor OP... The only one who actualy WANT to be there are the ones who get shut down... If OP was right and it was only 2 or 3 questions in 50 minutes, than I don't see a problem.

[@novabrilliant4510]

Listening while gardening. Planted beans, greens, and summer squash. Thanks for keeping me company, Mark 😊

[@Sarah-by6gp]

I was that student in summer class. At my community college I took a chemistry class where I would constantly ask questions at the beginning of class. One time the professor asked if anyone had questions about the homework and another student answered “no but I’m sure (my name) does” I could tell she was annoyed. Before that comment I thought I was being a good student by asking questions and I really did need help. I think I went to a tutoring class after that. I still feel bad after 15 years

[@universe98F]

Story 2: Asking questions is exactly what class is for, besides 2-3 questions is in no way excessive. It is beyond me how the judgement is even close to YTA 🤨

[@tinywaterdrinker5136]

Good on OP. Children should always be treated with love, but something that even evil stepparents don't realize is that even IF only their blood children deserve love, if their spouse is treating the child from a previous relationship badly, he'll treat their kid badly too if he finds someone new.

[@kendra31]

Story 2: I was the student that was kind of a know-it-all in school. I had been told my whole life I needed to be better than anyone else, so i did the absolute most when it came to speaking out in class. Not even questions most of the time, i would sometimes say facts about the material because I was already familiar with it. It really alienated me from others and made me stressed and unhappy. By the time I was halfway through high school, though, I figured out how to use it to help others. It wasn't hard to notice what my neighbor wasn't understanding in lecture but was too afraid to ask. So I would ask the "dumb" questions. It satisfied my impulse to speak out while actually helping other students instead of competing with them. People apparently liked me a lot by graduation lol. In case you can't tell, I'm autistic as all get-out and figuring that out in college has helped a lot with understanding these weird impulses.

[@owl7072]

Man I was always the one who was struggling to understand but too nervous to ask and I've always been so grateful for people like you lol, literally asking the real questions in those times

[@truthseeker9249]

Professors like this a*shole are the reason why we Autistic students never have the courage to ask a question.

[@fgentry1148]

Two great stories. In 1, the stepdaughter has 2 great moms and an improving dad. Story 2, great outcome! I totally relaw to OP. In college I was always the kid in the front row with questions. But a lot of times, especially when I was older, the other students were just showing up and I was there to learn. I was obviously not as aggressive as OP because profs always loved me, and I had friends. Good on OP for learning.

[@khaleesireyna731]

Same here. I usually was the one with questions during class. Thankfully, all of my professors like my questions and didn't mind me asking them/my participation. Still, that story would've thrown me in an anxiety spiral if it had happened to me in undergrad.

[@hello93617]

Story 2: dont ask any more questions. When the professor realizes that most students are there for the piece of paper, and don't give a hoot about his class, maybe hell reconsider his attitude towards students who are actively participating.

[@13thMaiden]

They won't, depending on the teacher they don't have the time to think about it (it sounds like this one was stressed out and OP broke the flow and he took it out on them), or they just really don't care as they're just trying to push numbers to keep steady till tenure and focus on what they really want to.

[@Red-jt6uu]

I doubt it: like most professors, his main job is probably just to publish papers and teaching is just an afterthought.

[@maralorca6518]

Then prof will wonder why many fail the class.

[@justinecorrington4106]

Story 2: op needs to utilize office hours and understand that other students are paying for their classes. Unless its debate time, you aren’t supposed to be ‘engaged’ in an lecture but paying attention and note taking. And a hand raised interferes with his flow lecture. And I have a feeling he was checking to see if the question was relevant

[@valeriejames4675]

Story 1. OP should divorce the dad and marry the mom.

[@simonO712]

I _love_ the way Story 2 ended (and given their own issues getting called out as TA was probably for the best), but I also don't really see the problem with asking 2-3 questions every other lecture. It may be a difference in culture, but when I took physics at university pretty much every professor actively encouraged people to ask questions. The logic was that "if you have a question about something then it's likely a lot of the people around you have too, but don't have the courage to speak up" and at least for me, that was often the case. As in, I had a lot of questions I wanted to ask but didn't and whenever someone else did ask it was often a relief.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I wasn't expecting that update, but I'm glad OP became more self aware and even became friends with the teacher. The ability to accept that you're wrong and grow is going to make OP a great doctor. Way too many doctors have a god complex and patients are worse off for it.

[@abbie_joan]

story 1: keep his daughter but dump the father

[@bgcorporation]

2 to 3 questions per Lecture? That's not a lot at all. If a professor cannot answer 2 to 3 questions, then, well, he needs a new profession. I doubt she's asking 2 to 3 questions per lecture if teachers are getting annoyed though. I don't know. I have mixed feelings on this. Like you should be able to ask questions. If not then you'll just have a class of no one talking. If that's what you want then great I guess, but then you'll just be getting bad grades to grade.

[@AL-bv7jt]

If OP has had multiple professors saying that they ask too many questions during lecture and they ask 2-3 every lecture then maybe they need to start writing down their questions to ask during the professor’s office hours. It might only be 2-3 questions but if the answers are complex, it will eat into the lecture time. If multiple students have 2-3 questions, lecture time would end up being 15 minutes instead of 50 minutes. Not every student learns the same but professors unfortunately can’t alter their lecture time to suit one students needs. It sounds like the OP truly did have some issues which were thankfully resolved. Did the professor handle the situation appropriately? No but we’ve all said things out of frustration that we probably shouldn’t have.

[@naoko7184]

I disagree. In most lectures there is a lot of material to get through, and a single person asking 2 - 3 questions per lecture can totally derail the schedule, in addition to taking up time so that no one else can ask a question. In addition, I wonder at the quality of the questions, given that OP said she often scrambled to come up with anything to ask.

[@Faith12996]

​@@naoko7184 I'm going to disagree with you there. It's rare that hour long lectures don't have enough time to take at least 10 questions. In almost every class I've been, teachers are practically begging for engagement. The only time there was limited time for questions is when doing a complete review before the exam.

[@tatkkyo9911]

​@Faith12996 true dat my profs would get pissed that no one asked questions. We started asking question to keep some of them from being pissy. In my classes a student asking 3-5 questions so long as they were relevant was seen as a good thing. But I do remember a few professors who hated anyone with a learning disability/ non neural typical. Saw a professors get strip ripped out their ass for trying to dictate a disabled students accommodations. the school had a department for disabled students that were in charge of reasonable accommodations. The prof tried pulling the its my class and I'll decided what's a resable accommodation despite having no knowledge as to what the disability intaled .........

[@sfsin3380]

@@Faith12996 I had a class with someone who kept derailing the lesson by asking about things off that lessons topic it got on everyone else's nerves. Given the set up OP described here like the part where the professor let OP ask and only got mad after he heard the question I think that's what OP was doing.

[@soogymoogi]

How is story 2 a YTA? 2-3 questions per lecture is perfectly reasonable imo unless they're bad questions. I feel like the people saying YTA have never been to college

[@christiecakes014]

I think maybe because it's a more advanced class, it's more imperative that they get through the material and can't spend that much time on questions that can wait for office hours (which is the impression I got). For example, it wouldn't be as disruptive to ask questions during a Literature 101 class versus say Intermediate Accounting, which if you don't get through all the necessary material, you will not be prepared for Advanced Accounting. I don't think OP was an AH, but I do think they were doing a disservice to their classmates and ultimately themselves. The professor definitely handled the situation the wrong way though.

[@saratronus]

Yeah, by that logic, everyone in my math class is assholes.

[@wmdkitty]

How is OP not YTA? They interrupt constantly and derail the class.

[@rivertam7827]

​@christiecakes014 agree, it really depends on the class. 3 questions in a 50 minute lecture is a lot, and depending on how complex the subject is, it could derail the lecture for quite some time. Having said that, the lecturer should have said something like we're running tight for time, save your questions for the end OP and if we have time we can go over them with the class, or you can come see me in office hours. (Or prac/lab/tutorial) Traditionally you're not even supposed to ask questions during a lecture, but most lecturers allow it.

[@oliviaspring9690]

@@wmdkitty because the teacher could literally just ignore op and not call on her. If the behavior needed to be addressed, I am saying this as a teacher, then your first step should always be to have separate conversation with the student. Clearly that was not done. If you don’t want someone asking a question don’t call on them.

[@Gymtoshi]

My God, bless OP in story 1. She is a GREAT woman for not allowing favouritism for her youngest child over the top of Ashley. Seriously, that doesn’t happen often, good for OP

[@knitwit9447]

Just finished crocheting a lace kerchief and im thinking of what to do next with my limited supplies! My friends are throwing me a party this weekend for my birthday, which is such a good distraction from some really tough things that are happening in my life. On wednesday ive got a women's health visit that im incredibly nervous for, but ive just got to make it through to the weekend!

[@samurailevi49]

The second story: NTA imo. I’m sorry, but I was screamed at and called stupid as a child for asking questions. Guess what? I don’t ask questions anymore because I’m terrified to. Granted, I’m special needs and need things explained slowly to me, but I’m still too scared to ask because I’ve had people berate me for it. Set a limit of how many questions can be asked if this is a problem and don’t call on students if you don’t want to answer their question.

[@gyatttdaym]

There are differences between being a curious child not knowing anything nor social cues and a pre-med student asking questions every 5 minutes in a lecture hall.. Smarter way would be writing down the questions then coming to the prof's office afterwards. Should've known better when you're an adult.

[@samurailevi49]

@@gyatttdaym It’s also inappropriate to yell at someone and take their answers despite them not being wanted at that time. This is how people lose interest in what they’re learning. I couldn’t understand math and was screamed at for asking questions about it when I was only 8. Now I hate math because they screamed at me. Professor could have said “Please save your remaining questions for later.” Not scream. That’s extremely unprofessional.

[@owl7072]

​@Samurai Levi not only unprofessional but just plain rude. Imagine inviting someone to ask a question then berating them for asking a question. This so easily could have been solved with a "please save questions until the end and if there's no time at the end then reach out to me after or come by later"

[@gyatttdaym]

@Samurai Levi That is also true. Maybe the prof expected other students to also ask questions but when he saw OP raised their hand he just thought his platform wasn't being used equally between other students. Again, I don't know what kinda question OP asked, whether it contributes to the class' efficiency in learning or not and how often, but I've been on all those sides (the one asking too much questions, the one their class being disrupted by too much questions, and the roommates with inefficient learning experience being hindered by one student hogging all the questions slot) and most cases, when one prof already told the person to tone down their question's frequency, they took it well and tone it down for the rest of the class . Kinda ESH by the way OP behaved and how the prof handled it in the class, but the aftermath seems like they found their way to communicate and handle class interaction better, so kudos to them!

[@huitzilopochtlisexy9975]

@@owl7072 Its a common rule that the questions should be asked at the end of a lecture. Courses, seminars, tutoring and school are different structured. In a lecture, the lecturer lectures lol and you should listen like a Ted talk, thats how it usually is and I would be extremely anoyed about someone asking someting every 5 min.

[@fcold9402]

Lecture NTA. The instructor should have responded to your raised hand by saying "lets hold questions until the question period at the end of the lecture". In school no question is a bad question. What's funny is reddit calling you AH even though they always excuse college students as "children" in other situatuions (like parents expecting them to move away from home or pay rent). In this case you are a student the Professor should be setting clear standards in class for when questions can and cannot be asked. If he did this and you asked anyway then you would be ahole. If he has set no such rules and generally accepts questions during the lecture then that is on him. For every student that is annoyed OP askes questions there is a student who is happy that someone is brave enough to stop the teacher to ask about a confusing topic as they are too fearful to do it themselves, lest they be judged by those other classmates. I would not demand an apology but I would have a discussion with the teacher about his class expectations. If he drags you or otherwise acts unprofessional then you follow appropriate procedures to report unprofessionalism. He may have just been having a bad night though.

[@dimsufferer9951]

Not only is the teacher an asshole, but if this is America, OP is paying to be treated like shit by the guy. He absolutely deserves an apology at the very least

[@maralorca6518]

This. I'm so frustrated with the comments. They don't appreciate an enthusiastic student who tries to make sure they understand the topic. Being very shy/timid, I am grateful for my classmates who ask questions in class that I couldn't or haven't even thought of. It's okay to be annoyed now but understand the topics fully, than to just go through the motions in your lectures, and be clueless in your final exams 😂

[@truthseeker9249]

Say it louder for the idiots in the back 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

[@InevitableSecrets]

Hannah and Ashley are so lucky to have two strong committed women in their life. I hold their dad figures himself out but it’s clear to see that because of their mothers they will always have support. Both individually and as sisters.

[@podunk_woman]

Putting a damper on OP's arrogance in the classroom , making him more self reflective and therefore a better Dr

[@melindaflick631]

Story 2 - is OP hogging the time at the expense of other students? Maybe talk to the professor and ask HOW he would prefer OP gets to ask the questions...

[@j_hi]

Story 1, Ideal step-mom. Going to 3 of the same recitals sounds a little obsessive. Story 2, my knowledge of university is limited, but even I know office hours are meant for questions and comments, the lecture is simply a lecture. Glad she got the help she needed though. Teachers in high school can be our biggest bullies.

[@tatkkyo9911]

Actually, the lecture are also for questions, at least in every university I've heard of that isn't the one from story two. Also, from experience, professors can be flaky af about actually doing office hours.

[@j_hi]

@@tatkkyo9911 like I said, limited knowledge, I'm sure lots of discussions happen in lectures.

[@tatkkyo9911]

@@j_hi I hope that I didn't come across the wrong way just wanted too add my knowledge as I've been around and I have a decent amount of experience with non neural typicals in university as I was both one and knew alot. Unfortunately from both my experience and those of the people I met some ppl resentment nonneral typical ppl in their class/classes. Sorry if I came off as though I was being less then polite to you.

[@j_hi]

@@tatkkyo9911 absolutely no offense taken, and both of your comments are enlightening

[@tamsel814]

A lecture is the space for quick or general questions. Not longwinded, indepth or questions that are irrelevant to other people. In my own courses class sizes can differed between 20 and 350 people. A couple of long questions can really slow down the class resulting in the left over materials becoming self study or be to discussed in the next lecture on top of that lectures material. Unless it's a quick question its generally simpler to write down the question and ask after the lecture or during office hours.

[@poohbear4515]

S1: OP is the genuine step parent. She cares very much for her step daughter equally as her bio daughter, she is there to help when needed, and looks out for them. You barely hear good step parents on Reddit, their like “endangered species” on the site. I hope Jack actually does change his selfish attitude and cares about both of the kids equally like he should’ve done in the first place.

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Story 2: OP sounds like Paris from the Gilmore Girls. She was so intense and driven that she lacked any social grace and worked herself up into a frenzy and also caused anxiety in others. Glad OP finally realized that they needed professional help to fix their attitude.

[@LoveableNiki]

Story 2: YTA. The professor called on OP because it's annoying to continue lecturing with hands raised. I do not know why OP could not figure out for themselves to start writing down questions and attending office hours when multiple professors had the same discussion with them.

[@veezopolis]

Because she's self righteous, she even deleted her profile because people didn't immediately agree with her. I don't for a second think it was 2-3 every other lecture, and I doubt most professors were fine with it. She even said multiple professors had to tell her to stop. She has a habit of doing this but suddenly it's not okay for the professor to have an issue with it

[@justniquol8972]

So why didn’t the professor say “please hold all questions,” “I’m not taking questions right now,” “please put your hand down,” etc.. Some students just don’t know and the professor was an AH with HOW they went about things. If I were that student I’d file a complaint.

[@100MilesEast]

Story 2. From my practical experence teaching and training at work I can say that those anoying people who ask a lot of questions actually ask rather simple questions. Answers to these questions can be found in textbooks or by googling. In this way they save their time but spend whole class' time while a lecturer answers it.

[@FamouslyRejected]

Story 1: mom is an AMAZING mother and BONUS mom!!! Like she advocates for both her kids and I love that

[@AJtothemax1712]

OP from story 1 is a real gem and should be protected at all cost!

[@sammieg8641]

Loved the college story update… nice to see someone take the initiative

[@raindropgaming2683]

NTA for story 2, i mean honestly people asking questions are a life saver for me, who has a crippling anxiety for speaking much, and op doesn't at all sound like their asking too many questions

[@00videovideo]

Imagine getting in trouble for asking questions at school lol

[@schwagecko5589]

As a teacher I can tell you the students that annoy us the most are the selfish ones, whether they be students that try to monopolise all our time at the expense of the others, ones who don't listen and then ask questions we already covered, bullies and those who don't participate in group work. Respect your fellow students people. I say this as a child who had to learn not to always be the one answering the questions and not to ask questions I could work out the answers to. I once had another student get up and scream at a lady saying "we all pay for the teacher's time, it's not just for you." That will always stick with me because it made me realise I had to stop being so much of a doormat and not let these students hog the lesson.

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

Banana bread just came out of the oven and just taking a Mark break before I assemble the pumpkin cheesecake muffins and pop them in the oven. House smells fattening lol.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Oooo yum

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

Why is OPs husband acting more like a step parent than OP?

[@Yume10605]

Its seems to me in story 1 op's husband Jack is taking out his anger about his divorce on Ashley. And bet you if op leaveshim he will do the sameto Hannah

[@wislythium]

I was on a cram school. There was a classmate like that that would interrupt the lecture every two minutes to say he didn't understand. The lectures weren't very comprehensible due to the constant stops and set backs of re-explaining it. I think I endured one or two months of this. At some point the guy sounded like he was just wanting to be the center of attention in class. I was fed up by it. And when he's interrupted the class for I don't know how many times, I said: "SHUT. UP!" The teacher spoke to him so he would take notes and they would talk after class to end any questions the guy had. I know I was an AH there, but something needed to be done at some point. No one was understanding the classes due to the guy's ego.

[@averycheesypotato]

But did the guy raise his hand, or just interrupt?

[@wislythium]

@@averycheesypotato at first he raised his hand. Then he was bold and validated enough to the point he would just say "I don't get it, teacher"

[@averycheesypotato]

@@wislythium That would definitely get annoying! If he just kept raising his hand & took it as a no when the teacher ignored him, then I’d say he was probably ok. But actually interrupting is rude

[@James-sq4sc]

I love the part where she went and picked up the other mom to go have fun with their girls. That’s a dream co patent scenario and I love how companionable they are with one another.

[@TangomanX2008]

I had a professor who made asking questions an important part of the learning experience, but made it clear what our questions had to indicate that we made a good effort at understanding the required reading prior to class, he might cross examine us as part of addressesing our questions, and that our questions should not be stupid questions. It took the new students one or two stupid questions and getting torn apart during one of his cross examinations to get with the program.

[@abubarrie88]

He was aware of his favoritism he didn’t care. Fake waterworks over Reddit comments wasn’t an epiphany it was him thinking if I piss her off she’ll leave me and I’ll have to pay child support for two kids.

[@darkage1524]

Story 2 love how the commenters ignore the prof calling on OP to just embarrass them but OP is the A hole?

[@only1one1me]

Story 2: This sort of thing makes me glad I was homeschooled. I could go at my own pace rather than feel left behind.

[@adamstorfer415]

Story 2: I can only picture Arnold Horshack as the OP.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

In story 2, I think the professor called on OP because otherwise they'd be waving their hand around and getting agitated that they weren't beng called on, AND it was the perfect opportunity to point out how OP's questions could be disruptive. It's not the FACT that they asked a question that's a problem, it's that the answer could take a while, which means less time to complete the lecture. Glad it all worked out in the end.

[@CrystallynRose]

I don't know why, but I had that suspicion as well. OP likely put the professor in the situation where he felt like he had to call on them and it's likely that the question was way too complex to answer without derailing the class or off topic. I understand intellectual curiosity, but unless the professor is being especially confusing or expects class participation, then asking 2-3 questions a lecture is a bit much. If you are having that much difficulty understanding the lecture then you go to office hours. It has been a while since I have been in college, but most bigger lectures had no question-asking at all. You either asked them in office hours or the classes had associated labs or discussions once a week where questions were welcome. Many lectures had a PowerPoint presentation that the professor had to get through during class and if they didn't then that hurt the whole class.

[@Splatoon_Kirby]

Have you ever been to a collage coarse? All professors who are not answering questions during a lecture, when faced with a raised hand have a very polite and simple line they can say. "Please hold all questions until the end.' There is 0 reason the Professor needed to retaliate this way.

[@notacatnt]

@@Splatoon_Kirby I have a coursemate just like the OP in story 2. I promise you that, in spite of trying to tell her to leave questions until seminars, she will continue waving her hand and grunting. It's incredibly distracting, she shouts across the room and everything. It's faster to get the question done/ignored.