i've been lying to myself.

[@Anonymous_Kori]

KZbin randomly recomended this to me, I dont know you, but I felt so proud of you watching this. As a teenager who isnt sure about what gender label I feel the most comfortable with, this is... well, comforting. To know that its okay to be confused and to ask myself these questions... Thank you.

[@marlowebarrows]

Same!

[@Bread4468]

Fr

[@Dahlem-Nar]

@@marlowebarrowsthat’s what I wanted to say

[@Cherry_slushy]

Same

[@Violet-j6d]

Same!

[@zillionalb462]

As a trans man I had a similar journey - womanhood was assumed and expected but I never felt comfortable. Being trans was just not a thing when I grew up, and it was a long and difficult road for myself and my family to come to terms with who I am and what that means. Being myself felt like finally being able to take a breath, seeing the sun for the first time, taking off shoes that are just too tight. It's the most wonderful thing and I hope everyone can find that joy, whether or not it means accepting yourself as trans or as a cis person fully embracing who you are.

[@bristleflight303]

I just found out im trans masc. I haven't come out to my dad yet. I don't know how he'll react.

[@Jupiter-james]

@bristleflight303from one transmasc to another - regardless of his response, your truth is what matters most. you will find a way to be okay no matter what. and you don’t have to tell him until you’re ready

[@nathanemery]

that’s a perfect description :)

[@julithewizards1358]

​@bristleflight303well.. i think it will be a shock for my whole family. It was also quite suprising for me, but than also not at all. 😂 I think the best way of delivering the message is that i truely feel happy for the first time and my family wants me to be happy.. right?

[@Sentient_moss_with_mange]

Fellow trans man! This is very relatable to me, thank you for putting it into words so well and sharing it with us!

[@artsyaech8633]

the way you described being relatively gender-conforming growing up, but still feeling off somehow was the realest shit i’ve ever heard. happy for you!

[@onewayave66]

YES! I felt this part too and it’s really validating to see other ppl talk about that part.

[@iiinkos]

ENBY CLUB ‼️‼️‼️ so happy to see this i’m very proud of you :D

[@Toddthefrog07]

Yay more members of the enby club!!! :D 🖤💜🤍💛

[@IAMCL0UD1]

YOOO LETS GOOOOOOO >:3

[@KayosHybrid]

Happy for you Nathan! I always felt ‘Not my gender’ but I had been gender neutral the whole time, and no one was forcing me to behave in a gendered way. I had no obstacles about how I must present, and no significant gendered experiences because I was clearly ‘outside’ of what was expected, so I was treated differently too. It all came to a head when I was 18-19 when I realised the world, my family (who is liberal and chill) still expected me to ‘dress as an adult’, as in, dress as my born sex. It was such an alien, and terrifying feeling of impending doom. I couldn’t understand how I could become Something I Wasn’t. 10 years later I am nonbinary! I have been the whole time, and I medically and socially transitioned masculine because that’s my presentation and body that would suit me best. I look like a ftm guy to most but the truth is, my soul is neutral. Always has been. It’s kind of a ‘unseen’ nonbinary identity because I don’t really flag it in any way that’s noticeable to most people. But I’m at peace because I’m transitioned, I’m comfortable existing.

[@nathanemery]

that’s awesome :)

[@kmarie7051]

Like sex, gender is not a continuum or a rainbow or a diverse spectrum. It exists as two discrete categories, female and male, not as two polarities along a shared continuum along which human beings appear with equal likelihood. I think if anything it's regressive to say that being gender non-conforming must mean you are the opposite gender or both. Gender identity is how we feel in relation to our sex, regarding whether we feel masculine or feminine. Gender expression is the external manifestation of our gender identity, or how we express our gender. Similar to sex, gender-both with regard to identity and expression- is biological. It is not a social construct, nor is it divorced from anatomy or sexual orientation. All of these things are linked. For example, in the Western world, a shaved head is viewed as masculine, and the majority of people sporting a shaved head are men. For women who choose to shave their head as an expression of who they are, they are likely more masculine than the average woman, and will probably be more male-typical in other areas of their life, too. From a biological standpoint, compared with other women, there’s a good chance they were exposed to higher levels of testosterone in utero. If, in an alternate universe, a shaved head was seen as a feminine trait, we would expect to see the reverse-most people who shaved their head would be women, and any men who chose to do so would likely be more feminine than other men, and exposed to lower levels of testosterone in the womb. A more masculine female is still a female. She could shave her head, wear male-typical clothes, work as a carpenter and marry a woman and even play football on the weekends and drink beer with the boys, and she'd still be a woman (adult female) because her sexual anatomy is organized around the production of eggs. it’s possible for a person to be gender-nonconforming while identifying as simply a woman or a man. By nonbinary activists’ definition, everyone on planet earth is gender nonbinary. Everyone, to some extent, is a combination of male and female traits . No one is 100 percent male-typical or 100 percent female-typical or 100 percent gender-conforming. When we think of the average man, he’s probably interested in a variety of things that most guys are into, like playing sports and building things, but maybe he also enjoys watching talk shows and talking on the phone. By the same token, there are plenty of women who like playing video games and competing in sports. It’s not appropriate to consider everyone who exhibits some degree of gender nonconformity as belonging to a third category of gender. It’s more outdated to assume that someone who is gender-atypical is another category of gender entirely, than to consider them as part of the normal variation you’d expect within female or male, just like any other human trait. Even if we were to divorce gender from sex, the vast majority of people fall clearly into one of these two categories, as opposed to being equally spread somewhere between them. If a person says that they are both genders or neither, this still depends on the concept of gender being binary. Even for those who identify as gender-nonconforming, it means they are less like one gender and more like the other. What people now call gender could more aptly be considered personality or mood. Many seem to also be mistaking gender identity with gender expression, which is much more varied. From a scientific perspective, gender identity is basically synonymous with biological sex. There is no reason why someone who was born female can’t behave or present herself in a masculine way, and push back against these stereotypes while identifying as a woman. The same can be said for feminine men. Those of us who do not fit into typical ideas of “female” and “male” do not need to be classified as an entirely different sex or gender simply because we are atypical. Also, just because someone’s gender identity (female) doesn’t match their gender expression (male) doesn’t mean the two aren’t related. The relationship between the two can be explained by hormonal exposure in the womb that either masculinized of feminized the brain.

[@Tw1nkerbelle]

I feel the same! Only a few months on t though, but I think I’ll end up similar to you

[@suzannadannaTARDIS]

Nathan, I don't know you, KZbin suggested your video. I've had many LGBTQ friends over the years, including more than a few NBs. I just completed a cross country journey to get a trans friend to a sanctuary state. Your video (extremely well done, IMO) warms my heart, in that you are living your truth. May you and your family enjoy whatever the future holds with you now living as your authentic self. Congrats.

[@nathanemery]

this means a lot and thank you for your support!

[@the_spectacular_rowan]

i am 17, (will be 18 in march woohoo!) and at 12 i knew something was different. for months i was confused, until i found out about the community. after i found out about it and that it wasn't just gay or lesbian, i felt like i could finally breathe. it has been almost 6 years now since i figured out who i am. and I'm only 2 months away from being able to legally take testosterone. i have been through a lot, before and after i figured out who i am. but it has all been worth it. i am so glad you figured out who you are as well!! it's important to have supportive people in your life and I'm so happy you do! be proud of who you are and live your life the way you feel is best! and welcome to this amazing community we call family! :) so proud of you Nathan!

[@nathanemery]

thank you and that’s awesome :)

[@emilybelisle1902]

Fellow Enby here, and enjoy the ride! Glad you found yourself. Don’t bother with what all the transphobes and bigots say, being happy is all we need.

[@LizBizBean]

This is exactly how it was! It wasn't just "Oh I'm trans" one day, it was "hmm. Somethings different, and I can't quite figure out why." And then you slowly realize that there was one label you just never questioned, and that it's been throwing off your whole vibe

[@Milodoke]

ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US

[@ScratchdHelp]

ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US

[@ratxentherat]

ONE OF YOU ONE OF YOU ONE OF YOU

[@JT_Joyval]

ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US

[@mehta.snail.ouroboros]

I have no idea who you are or how come you ended up in my feed - very randomly clicked on your video out of curiosity but with the expectation of clicking out to watch something else... Instead I ended up crying happy tears, this is such a sweet heartfelt coming out! 🥹😭 Best wishes, stranger, may embracing your truth bring you plenty of joy! 🤗 Virtual hug from a (overly emotional) fellow enby. 💜

[@nathanemery]

aww thank you 🫶

[@jacobjohnson8686]

Seconded!! I had essentially the same experience in coming to this video. Super glad I watched it, they describe their life and experiences as a not-yet-aware enby so well. I hope more people will put out quality content like this about what led them to realize their true identity - the more TQIA+ people talk about these things so eloquently, the less other people will be led into bigotry by pure obliviousness.

[@Violet-j6d]

Same!

[@KatelynJoe]

As someone who is currently trying to figure out where I fall in the gender spectrum, this was really helpful to watch! I think I might be a Demi-girl/woman but not sure yet

[@nathanemery]

❤❤❤

[@themysteriousfox3767]

First of all, I just wanted to say I'm very proud of you for accepting yourself and telling the world! Second, I honestly suspect that a LOT LOT LOT of people we think of as 'cis' are some flavour of non-binary, they were just 'comfortable enough' with playing the role of a man or a woman when we were never supposed to be put in those strict boxes to begin with.

[@_vanessajane]

That's a valid take! I also think that a lot of "straight" people actually are bisexual/pansexual/omnisexual in some way but either don't know or aren't able to accept that. I mean, how do you explain all the dl guys?

[@themysteriousfox3767]

@@_vanessajane I also agree with that!

[@moonshinedown2]

i've never watched your videos before but got randomly recommended this one. I have to say your story really resonates with me, though i'm a genderqueer man (i'm ftm). all the signs i had over the years that looked different from some of the trans people i knew and my fear of embracing what i knew would make me happy caused me to delay accepting my trans identity for 21 years. but i am 3 years on hormones now and am scheduling my top surgery for next year and i have never been happier. i struggled with intense depression as a child and teenager from what i now recognize as gender dysphoria. its laughable to me that i spent so long agonizing over if transitioning was the correct decision. for me it absolutely was. i'm wishing you the best in your endeavors and your transition, whatever that looks like for you.

[@lizhaydon7092]

congratulations Nathan! im so excited that you get to start this year as your authentic self. I might make a longer comment later, but just know that this was really inspiring for me to hear. your words resonated with me, and I would like to incorporate parts of your outlook into my life:) cheers to the upcoming year!

[@nathanemery]

thank you so much!

[@ursomajor5607]

CONGRATULATIONS!!! Fellow NM enby let’s goooo (I’m agender but still fall under the umbrella lol). This is the first video I’ve seen if yours and expected way more subscribers buy the quality of the video. Definitely subscribing!

[@nathanemery]

tysm :)

[@iggysworld5146]

Ayyyy!!! Non-binary gang!!! And I would say the majority of us don’t just have one big realization. For me, I was he/him but then I experimented with he/they until I finally accepted myself as non-binary they/them. All of us have made our own journeys of discovery. And I’m glad you have too! ❤

[@chrismaghintay]

Very heartwarming video 😊. Always nice to hear a story like this.❤ I don't personally have a label for myself, but I fully relate to your experience!

[@joeb4480]

I’m 36 and still haven’t figured out exactly who I am. It’s all about little steps. Good for you and may the new year bring you new found joy. ❤❤❤

[@Geckot369]

I’ve never watched any of your videos before, but I love coming out videos because I love learning how other people feel about their identity and this one was so sweet, heartfelt, and genuine. Congratulations on your gender journey and finally finding a way you felt most like yourself. I hope you never stop figuring yourself out and keep finding ways to live your most authentic life. Welcome to the nonbinary family and thank you for sharing your story with the world.

[@purplejellytotPJT]

I have no idea who you are... and I'm so, so happy for you. I was in tears by the end of your video. Best of luck and thank you for sharing this with us 💛🤍💜🖤

[@squishy_moss27]

this came across my recommended and this is so real. i feel the same way. i wish you luck on your new chapter of life, and i hope that you continue to find happiness within yourself :)

[@never_eat_soggy_waffles]

This is a great video! Congrats on figuring yourself out.

[@Fishkapish]

Ugh this is so heartwarming, im so happy your family is supportive 🥰

[@kido3480]

I'm still working with figuring out my identity with gender. I do think that I am male but its been very hard because I'm not your traditionally masculine man. This video has sparked something in me. Sidenote you are so pretty

[@asongfromunderthefloorboards]

Obviously, the pandemic was a disaster, several million people died. But everything being shut down, many people working from home, and perhaps even recognition of how short and fragile life is, gave many people space to be quiet and explore themselves. I imagine what post-capitalist life would look like, there would still be social pressures but people wouldn't be spending so much of their life focused on just getting through the workday and paying bills. I am glad you have been able to figure things out about yourself and I support this journey.

[@nathanemery]

absolutely

[@mesbalkema9996]

I did the coming out process backwards. I came out as non-binary almost 16 years ago when I was 14. Around 8.5 years ago at the age of 21, I found out that I'm XXY intersex. At 29, almost a year ago, I found out that I'm mosiac XXY intersex and have both ovaries AND an underdeveloped undescended testicle on the left side. I named him Testie. I literally have my dead fraternal twin brothers testicle 😂 (sorry for anyone who found that morbid, I think its hilarious but there's more to it).

[@_vanessajane]

Awww that's so cute

[@mesbalkema9996]

@_vanessajane I didn't even know I had a fraternal twin brother until Teste's discovery. I knew I had a mo-mo twin in the womb who was female based on all scans and died around 25 weeks gestation. But the only way anyone can think of the parts and chromosomes being there is if there was a 3rd baby who would have been a boy that passed in the first trimester but didn't miscarry. Vanishing triplet syndrome. I got a piece of my unknown brother with me always.

[@_vanessajane]

@@mesbalkema9996 there's something really awesome about that!

[@Tw1nkerbelle]

Non-binary both in gender AND sex

[@21stcenturypeasant5]

It is truly delightful to run into coming out stories on the youtube at random... Good for you mate! Good for you.

[@Alicia-zf3nq]

I had a similar experience but then in the opposite direction. I have two older brothers and my mom wasn't very feminine either, so no one cared that I acted somewhat boyish for a girl growing up. Then at 20 during the pandemic, I discovered I was asexual and aromantic and started to realise I didn't know what being a woman was like except for the stereotypical roles of being a mother. Since that was a role I likely wouldn't have as an aroace, I also finally realised that perhaps the reason I never really fit in with all-girl groups was because I wasn't a girl. I identify as agender/non-binary now and while I'm not out to my family yet, just accepting for myself that I don't need to act according to labels that don't fit me has been so freeing

[@Cryptix__]

Hi, youtube recommended me this video despite me having not watched any of the rest of your work, but Im glad the algorithm did. Im an agender teen and I sometimes wonder if my gender identity is just a phase, but sometimes hearing people who are older then I am tell me about their experiences makes me feel better. Have a good day Nathan!

[@ASillyArtGuy]

This was awesome, congrats!!! I hope you’re able to continue being happy and finding yourself, stories and videos like this are so inspiring and it also shows people who don’t have to figure yourself out at all very early age. (Also, random side note, seeing a content creator who lives in NM is actually so cool as someone from NM)

[@nathanemery]

woah that’s awesome!

[@holidayoreoreal]

I had that same experience as a kid where I would ask my mom to pain my nails. My whole life I tried pushing that memory deeper and deeper and now I’m 4 months on hrt and happier than ever (mtf)

[@user-nw4td2et8r]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="161">2:41</a> oh no. Not a Brony. What's that? Just NB? What a relief! On a real note, congrats and welcome to the alphabet mafia.

[@_vanessajane]

Mlp is fire!

[@geekyraven]

I definitely relate to this. Finding community really helped, and I began to understand myself on a deeper level 💜

[@notsantea4126]

congratulations !!! finding your true self can be tricky, but so rewarding in the end ♡ happy for you :)

[@sockonarock]

Very relatable, very honest, very true. Great video. I think there are many experiencing similar to what you describe who aren’t ready to take that step. Congratulations on loving yourself enough to do it!

[@jaginaiaelectrizs6341]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="657">10:57</a> - Super congrats on finding/embracing an identity and pronouns and everything that feels right to you, though-and wishing you all the best! 💖💖 Always happy to hear when anyone does, whatever that identity and/or pronouns and all might or might not be!😊👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@_bouldering_3688]

In my opinion we should throw gender labels overboard when they don't refer to our biology (like when we're at the doctors). They rarely do any good. Instead they create the pressure to "fit in" which often leads to crisis. I myself have never quite agreed with what people thought a girl or a woman should be. I often felt like I was treated differently than boys. At some point I started feeling awful whenever someone referred to me as "she" or even just my female name. I hated it. I wanted to be seen as just a person, nothing else. Because that is what I am. That is what everybody is and always will be. We should finally close that gap between male and female because it's irrelevant. Luckily I now am mostly surrounded by people who see me for my personality and not my gender. I started to feel like myself again. I don't care about being a woman anymore.

[@hammiarts]

Congratulations on coming out, Nathan! This is my first time seeing a video from you, and im honored to have been one of the lucky few to see this. i’ve explored the concept of gender abolitionism a lot over the last year, and through that and coming to terms with being aromantic-asexual, i’ve also landed somewhere on the non-binary spectrum. I know everyone defines gender in a different, personal way, but for me, I just feel so separate from what society views a woman to be that it doesn’t feel right to say i am one anymore. socially i am still a woman. my gender expression is very feminine, my body is feminine, i experience misogyny, and i am always perceived as a woman. But personally, i am a human being before any gender.

[@CookiesDC]

Got recommended this by KZbin and am so glad I watched. I’m currently questioning whether I’m non-binary as well so this really helps me understand that I’m not the only one who has had these feelings. I also always used to love things like playing with “girl” toys and doing “girly” things but I also love a lot of “boy” things. I have never been able to really enjoy those things though because of what everyone expected from me. Thank you for this wonderful video and being a wonderful person

[@cristinaacosta8938]

Hey! I'm somewhat younger than you, but I just wanted to say: I get you. What you experienced and how you experienced it are honestly similar enough feelings for me as well and I'm so grateful that you are feeling comfortable enough to share those experiences. Congratulations on figuring out this part of your identity and I wish you all the best ❤💜

[@nathanemery]

thank you 🫶🏼 that means a lot

[@stbdotmp3]

This is so well articulated. As a transman, I relate to a lot of the things you've described. This video is going to be a very useful tool for a lot of people who are discovering their gender identities/want to learn about real gender experiences. I'm grateful KZbin recommended this random video to me. Thank you and have a good day!

[@existenceispain_geekthesiren]

I've no clue who you are but hell yeah we stan

[@irishjournalgaming]

This is a beautiful story. I am so proud of you and happy for you, even this is the first video I've seen of yours. I went through something somewhat similar, where I always felt a bit out of place with all the other girls. I despised pink for no apparent reason, I would always rather play with the boys, etc. After my bsf came out to me, I started to research more about the lgbtqia+ community and all the labels. I thought about non-binary, gender-fluid, trans man, etc. but none of it felt right. Then one day, after giving up on all of those labels, I thought to myself "I wish I could just be a boy and a girl". Then it hit me to see if there WAS a label for that. Since then I've identified as Bigender, and it's been the best thing to ever happen to me. I finally gained a sense of identity that I never had before. I didn't really have my own personality or style, but I've now finally started to build those. I feel like when I was little again, and I didn't have to worry about anything. And it's explained so much. Especially why I was obsessed with the boy name my parents were gonna give me if I didn't come out a girl, why I always wished I had a flatter chest and hips, and why when I started puberty and started to grow a bigger chest, I cried and cried and cried because I hated how my body looked so much.

[@AnonymousCatPerson]

This was a really nice video to watch. Congratulations on being you! I think how you described never quite fitting into society's box is how a lot of us realized we're non-binary. I remember always receiving weird looks in school because all the boys except me would choose one thing and I'd be on the other side with the girls. I always assumed I was a bit more feminine because I'm gay, but in 2021 when I still had a lot of free time I realized at 20 that being non-binary is why I've always blurred the lines and done what I wanted to do and chose what felt right rather than what I was expected to do. New subscriber :)

[@RandomHuman91]

Very proud of you, no idea who are, youre amazing

good job :) happy you have found yourself, nathan. hopefully i can work all this out as well

[@Alxy647]

its <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="777">12:57</a> am right now and i finished working on my history final (its not done, im just tired) and youtube recommended this to me and even tho i dont know who you are i just wanna say im so proud of you for finding this all out and finally being who you are and i hope for nothing but the best for you and your family this year

[@YassQueer]

Reading the comment I see this video got recommended to to the right target. I don't know you either but I'm really happy for you. I'm a 27yo Non Binary being, who also happened to not struggle much with conforming growing up but something never felt right. I want to welcome you to this wonderful family we'll have lots of fun 🥳

[@starace4031]

Such an awesome video and happy for you feeling able to ask and answer lingering questions and explore and be more of yourself. As a fellow enby it is very relatable to hear your experiences as well as others. It's a process for sure and some questions take a while to be answered. But all I know is I'm happy that you're you and I wish you the very best for th years ahead. This was such a relatable and well described video to stumble across on KZbin and I really appreciate you sharing it with us. 😊

[@InsaneCapybara-123]

welcome to Enby, friend

[@Binges55]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="645">10:45</a> aaaaa this made me so happy as an agender person I'm so happy fore you!!

[@IsaacPrinTheNerd]

Glad to see another enby find themselves. It's going to be a journey for sure, but it's one that is so rewarding, and the community will be very warm and helpful. Experiment with what truly makes you happy and go for it. Also, the fact that we both discovered our gender during the pandemic. I feel like there's something with isolation and having the pressure of society temporarily lifted.

[@JT_Joyval]

That's awesome! I'm also Nonbinary here, and. Another thing I'd love to share my insight on is that specially for me as a Nonbinary person, not being a man or a woman was difficult to realize. Being outside the binary. I used to feel like "It'd be so much easier if I was a trans man instead of Nonbinary" because ppl just really don't understand. Even still being trans, feeling like if only I was the other defined gender would be so much easier. But I'm not. Without knowing the language, or hearing about trans people, the thought of, "I don't wanna be a boy do I'm probably not trans" took a bit longer for me to come across my gender. I'm happy and proud to be Nonbinary, and very proud of you as well! We all have variations of our own path and realizations and I'm happy you can be fully yourself!

[@sleepysammy333]

this is my first impression of you, in a very good way - i'm glad you found something that makes sense and fits for you!!! it's a huge relief, finding words to describe oneself in a genuine way am so happy for you!!! :3

[@CADESDEN]

I just came out as non binary. I’m so proud of you for being you and working on figuring yourself out this is so cool I’m so so so so so so so proud!!!!

[@dexfox3171]

Congratulations fellow enby!!! I wish you an amazing new year! Watching this video just made me smile and overall feel very happy, thank you for sharing this :)

[@Tufted..Cipher]

YOOOOOOOO WE GOT ANOTHER ONE !!!!! HAPPY FOR YOU AND PROUD OF YOU!!!!!

[@ooooggll]

I've never fully related with guys my age, and even thought a few times that I could be nonbinary, but the way you described your experiences really resonated with me. It was never something I knew internally, just the feeling that something was off and that I didn't fit inside the label of "boy". Similarly, I grew out my hair during quarantine and have even started painting my nails on occasion recently. Now, staying inside the "male" label does not make me uncomfortable, and I do not feel an urgency to be free of it. But this is something I will consider more seriously after watching your video. I'm glad you could get to this point in your life, and I hope someday I will figure it out myself too.

[@R-the-MR]

Thank you youtube for bringing this video to me. Really brightened my day to see that there are people like me, who, unlike me, are realising in adulthood. Whenever I see queer adults, in any sense, whether it's sexuality or gender, it makes me happy. We get to BE adults. It makes me so much less scared.

[@mofthemoth5755]

Genuinely happy for you ^^

[@thisisjeannie4723]

KZbin super wanted me to watch this and I finally caved, so glad I did! Thank you for your story, I don't know you but I felt a lot of connection with you. I'm 29 and I grew up homeschooled. I was unhappily in a comp het relationship for almost ten years. It's so good to see someone from a similar background that experienced things on a similar timeline :) A reminder that there's no such thing as too late to come out. Wishing you the best on your journey Nathan

[@gnoot50]

congrats on coming out!! as another nb person, i feel like this was sort of how i felt before i realized i was nb, except reversed. i thought of myself as a tomboy/girl who just disliked highly feminine things.

[@shellofcel]

One of the things that really was fun for me to deconstruct even before I knew what trans was, was letting myself ask why; "why is pink for girls", "why is wanting to wear dresses for girls", "why is wanting to be friends with the opposite gender feel so much more comfortable", "why do I not want to be like other people who are the same gender as me". I feel I had to really reclaim what I love without thinking about it from a gendered stereotype in order to be okay with the fact that I liked it even tho it was considered something for only girls.

[@julithewizards1358]

Well i am happy that you figured it out and that your surrounding is so supportive. ❤ i turned 40 last summer and just figured out that i'm not only not hetero, but also might be trans. And as you tell in this video, it wasn't like a big bang, its not that i felt in the wrong body.. i just never felt right. And the more my boobs grew, the more my confidence shrunk. Its all making sense now!

[@nathanemery]

that’s amazing :)

[@UrMissingSock]

you’re so underrated it’s crazy

[@JonerBell]

i didn't have the whole 'realization' until my early teens, but i grew up with a parent and other people in my life that fell under the trans umbrella had a whole tomboy phase or whatever you would call it, but i still liked dresses and had long hair for a while then funnily enough one day i watched ouran high host club (which had a character that got mistaken for a boy) and because the main character did things that could be considered both quote on quote female and male, and dressed both ways, it got me thinking more about gender ended up going through the gender non conformity -> thinking i might be nobinary -> to figuring out i was a guy pipeline a lot of people think it's just something people realize early on or catch signs for, and that knowing about it always means you realize quicker, but it really is different for everyone

[@Silly-The-Third]

hello fellow rivulet pfp haver based also im happy that you've realized who u truly are!!

[@JonerBell]

hell yeah!!! thank u fellow rivulet pfp haver

[@SamI_Am]

This is so beautiful to see. Its a beautiful thing to embrace who you are. Congratulations man!

[@blue_adagio]

Thank you for sharing your story. ❤

[@anonymous-q9g]

I’m a trans man and completely relate/understand. I realized really early (like 11 years old) I was trans. But not everyone is like this! I know plenty of other trans people who didn’t discover this part of them until they were 20, 30, even 80 years old. You are valid no matter what! I’m so happy you’ve found this out. Also I love your hair :) 🏳️‍⚧️❤️

[@Blake_Laisure]

I’m newly subscribed. I have a similar experience. I’ve been confused as too where exactly I fit and feel when it comes to exact labels but I also use they/them pronouns. Coming out is scary and I wouldn’t even consider myself fully out. I still have yet to tell my Dad. Videos like this inspire me to continue to live as myself and to be authentic no matter how hard it might be. I want people to see the beauty of my life and understand exactly who I am. Thank you for being brave. Thank you for making this video! ❤

[@cake_9510]

I'm happy you've begun to figure things out for yourself. I'm sorry it's in a time where we're being treated so poorly.

[@Saye_Goli]

i don’t know you but i am glad youtube recommended this video to me. im happy you found a label that fits you ❤

[@carolinekuttner8080]

AWESOME!! Love the way you told your story here. Very relatable

[@Eelio-u2c]

this video is so beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing :) congrats!

[@nathanemery]

thank you 😊

[@RookTheBirb]

I came out to myself and others as a trans woman at 33. I'm 38 now, and the last 5 years I've felt more alive than ever before. You'll never stop growing and changing, and finding out who you are is a journey that should be celebrated. ❤

[@DrakiniteOfficial]

Wahhhh 😭 I think KZbin's algorithm has successfully figured out my gender after the past weeks, just like how TikTok figures out people are bi/gay/trans/etc within a few hours. Your story resonates so much with me, and the realizations I've had over the past few weeks, which put all of the pieces together that have been jumbled up over the entirety of my life, but especially the last half a year. I'm also just coming out now as nonbinary and it's wonderful to hear someone else who's going through the same thing as me.

[@DianoSol]

Welcome to the Enby club! congrats on figuring yourself out!

[@beeghost-44]

I don't know who you are but this video made me so happy, and it made me recognize me. I am not enby [I think, I'm not completely sure yet] but your story reminded me of me, I've never felt like a "girl" or a "Boy" really, I'm just me. I'm still figuring out whether I might be Agender or a demiboy but so far I'm still figuring it out, anyway congratulations :D i may not know you but I'm happy for you dude!

[@gemsling]

Relatable content. For me, it was my daughter coming out as trans that got me thinking about why her story felt so familiar. Now I realise that I'm somewhere in the realm of "not man" and "definitely non-binary" and "possibly agender".

[@AirQuotes2962]

My experience for realizing I was a trans woman was similar. I remember feeling those little things that didn't fit. But for me, the main kicker was actually more about my sexuality and how it linked to my gender identity. Romance has always felt a bit off to me. I knew that I was attracted to only women and not men, which should mean that I was straight, but something just felt off about that. Then when I was first introduced to the concept of lesbian relationships (like, I knew about them before, but actually seeing them in pop culture and tv shows) it was like the lightbulb turned on in my head. I loved the idea of romance, and specifically the idea of romance between women. Suddenly romance didn't feel off anymore-I was attracted to women, but I wanted a relationship like that. Then it took me a couple years after that to accept the fact that yes, this means I am a trans woman. Now I'm starting my transition, and I feel like I finally understand what I want out of life, what I want out of romance, and what I want out of myself. Edit: Also, forgot to mention, congrats! To quote a wise captain, "Every time someone stands up and is honest about who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place."

[@biphonic]

this sounds pretty real honestly

[@WinterRank-oh5to]

I have never heard of this person before but since I consume a lot of trans content, I got this on my fyp. This video is a perfect example of why it is so important to educate people about this from a young age. My school never talked about it but luckily, my cishet parents still thought it was important to educate me so I had exposure to the queer community from a young age. I am very fortunate to have transitioned at such a young age (when I was 11) im now 16. There is also nothing wrong with people transitioning later in life, it’s never too late. This comment section also makes me so happy btw, I was scared to type this in case I saw really horrible transphobic things but yall are so wholesome. Anyway, I’m happy you found out who you are :3

[@Andre-033]

Hi Nathan I'm Andre I'm a trans male I've known that I am trans for four years now and I found out that I'm gay for two years seeing this video is inspiring I've been through some hard things because I'm trans but seeing you having such supportive family and friends makes me so happy and I'm really glad that people accept you for who you are it makes me so happy I'm really proud of you that you finally get to live your life as you ❤

[@chardors.....]

I had a very simple journey to you and this video genuinely made me so emotional and happy for you

[@Paula_Limberg]

Congrats! Hi from a fellow 28-year old who is 5 years deep into corporate work and looking forward to a year of "less boxes"! Love the way you described the "little things not adding up" about gender. Looking forward to catching up on your channel!

[@kittykatlover24]

no one interfere, this is canon.

[@The_Claym0re]

One of us! One of us! Jokes aside I don’t know you but I am very proud of you, I fully realized I was enby just last year and have never felt more comfortable with my self 🧡🧡

[@oliver_and_stuff]

Welcome to the community Nathan! I'm glad you found who you are and what you're comfortable with. I commemorate your courage to come out in a very public way regardless of what others think. I personally am trans masculine (the way I describe it is if you're going to put me in a box the most accurate way would be 'boy' but I'm not exactly a man, I just kinda exist). I had a similar experience growing up where I had interests of my assigned gender and of the other. You would often find me digging in the dirt looking for critters to call 'friends' while I was wearing dresses. I loved animals and weird critters, Hot Wheels and watched shows such as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Ninjago but I also loved dress up/fashion, make-up/body art, and dance (ballet, jazz, tap, acro etc.). We live in a society/culture that is so built on black and white that it makes it easier to conceptualize as humans but cannot see the full beauty of our world. Being a boy isn't about what you like or who you surround yourself with, it's about what you feel and how you experience the world. A lot of people found the time to actually sit with themselves and think about things they've never thought about during COVID lockdown and a lot of people found what makes them feel like themselves. That might've been realizing a relationship was toxic/codependent or, in contrast, that a relationship was important to you but never realized until you no longer could take it for granted. For a lot of people, it was who they truly were out of piercing sight of society. Humans are so dynamic that we're constantly changing and figuring out new stuff about ourselves so having the time to reflect is really important otherwise we're just a shell of what society labels us as and have no clue who we actually are inside. I encourage everyone reading this to continue to be curious about yourself and others and have patience and grace when it comes to figuring stuff out. It's ok to try stuff out and be wrong. I personally experimented with different pronouns and labels until I found one that I was happy with. Experimentation is how we learn new things. Being wrong doesn't mean an end, but a new perspective. All the best to everyone and I wish everyone a Happy New Year. Sincerely, A lonely psychology student who is curious about the world (they/he)

[@BRWADBREAD]

YOUR THE BEST NATHAN!!

[@kazh8639]

Congratulations! It can be so scary. I hope you are able to exist in a way that feels more authentic to you 💜 - nonbinary trans man

[@voidanova]

I grew up as a Goth. Goth subculture was less gender conforming than others- in the way both men and women had both feminine and masculine traits. I also never felt like I belonged to just one gender as being a loner or just myself and unique. I was born in 1991. But the idea of nonbinary, agender I wholly think is a bad idea. Because why should we shrink gender roles further? Being an utypical child, adult, or liking or expressing oneself in a way that doesn’t exactly fit into one box, doesn’t have anything -ANYTHING to do with your physical sex. I am a woman. I also have plenty of health issues that is almost always occurring in women. We need to attend to women’s health, I am also a mother and we need more focus on health on regards to childbirth. I would no way shape or form find my self image be confused with my biological self. I think this is a bad trend. When I grew up the mission was to expand the roles. What happened? Why do people feel liberated labeling themselves like this? I just don’t get it

[@ce7406]

good luck, you got this! 🌈

[@vanillabeanic]

im not even subscribed to you but great video heartfelt story and awesome editing might sub

[@duoladucca]

I don't usually comment and I literally have zero clue who you are but this was such a nice video to come across on my recommended page. I'm so happy for you!

[@NeeksTheAngel]

Congrats on figuring this out !!! I’m an agender ( agenderflux ) individual and I just randomly stumbled upon this video. I watched it and a bunch of things you said described my experience. I never really felt like a girl and would prefer more masculine stuff and stopped wearing dresses at the age of 7. I used to just call myself a tomboy because I thought that was the only option. My friend started identifying as non binary in 4th grade and a few years after that I stopped conforming when we had to split boys and girls up. I’d just stand on the sideline with my friend ( which I got a lot of hate for because my school was very catholic ). I didn’t quite know what labels to use but to most people who I only knew for a short period of time they just assumed I was a guy. Early last year I got bored and decided to search up what it means to have no gender and the label popped up. It almost perfectly described my experience and I was able to find a micro label that fits. I’m so proud of you for coming out especially in this time we’re members of the 2SLBTQIA+ are still discriminated against. Thank you so much for uploading this video and I which your channel growth.

[@waste_of_paint]

Yeah, I can definitely relate to the feeling of something being just slightly off. I've always been a sort of weirdo or outcast, so I never really had the expectation placed upon me to be like everyone else, since that was just never going to happen no matter what. I have always liked both stereo-typically masculine and feminine things, but as I got older, I got more and more uncomfortable with being associated with femininity. I thought I had just grown out of more "girly" things as I matured. Nope, not at all. It just turned out that I didn't have a problem with the girly things, I had a problem with being seen as a girl. Now I'm a really feminine guy, and happy as a clam with all my pastels and frills. I'm also incredibly impressed that you were able to pinpoint such small details that set you apart from the gender binary when I had years of trying to convince random kids that I met that I was actually a boy that didn't register as strange to me until way later. Anyways, sorry for the rant, but I'm proud that you were able to discover this about yourself, and I wish you luck on the rest of your journey. (Also, woohoo! New Mexico gang rise up!)

[@pIanetarium]

At 11, I started questioning and I came out as bi at 12. (This was during the pandemic, right after I went back to school in person). From 12-14, I questioned my gender a lot and at 15 I started embracing my femininity a bit more, being a little more girly, and I realized that I was probably just insecure lol. However, the gender questioning stuck with me for a while because I was not that girly as a little kid, even pretending to be a boy on one occasion on a dare lol. Even now, I’m perfectly fine with skirts, makeup, and doing my hair, but my interests have always been rock/rap (and indie/classical, but not the point!) music, and things like skateboarding, wanting to understand football. I still have a ton of guy friends. I’ll be 16 in March and in terms of being bi, I’m still very much back and forth haha. Sorry for the infodump, videos like these are cool.

[@prettypeachyx]

yippieee! congrats for figuring it out! :)

[@everlyw7892]

"I loved stereotypical boy toys" lmao