I Want to Propose to My Girlfriend but She Has Debt

[@28goldenboy]

I bet this guy was squirming when Dave told him to use his $45k in savings to pay off her debt. I know I would be.

[@chrisfamos]

It’s emotionally demoralizing. Like a chunk of your life gone.

[@28goldenboy]

@@chrisfamos Completely agree. Even if one is not obsessed with money, there's still an emotional attachment to your savings because it represents your hard work, grit, sacrifice, and discipline. I also agree with John when he says that you shouldn't be tiptoeing on conversations with your significant other who you are about to marry. That's a ticking time bomb waiting to explode once the honeymoon phase is over.

[@chrisfamos]

@@28goldenboy Exactly. All those early mornings, lost time, discomfort brings in emotions. It’s important to not get lost in the cascade hype of marriage as reality quickly sets in. Be prepared and long term sustainability will follow.

[@Jay-om8gr]

@@chrisfamos so why even do it

[@chrisfamos]

@@Jay-om8gr Reality setting in isn’t a bad thing when everything is set up reasonably by both parties.

[@minervagalvez4748]

If your hesitant, DON'T DO IT, be honest with yourself in the relationship you are in...Be Honest Bro...

[@riverdaletales8457]

I wouldn’t marry her sorry I won’t go into debt for anyone.

[@lawv804]

If you ever have that feeling in your gut that you shouldn't commit to someone, trust that gut feeling.

[@F1R3EMBLEM]

Utterly terrible advice here from Dave and Dr Delony

[@aaronjensen7411]

Don't pay it off brother. When Dave said drain your life savings I about lost it. She is going to say thanks ✌.

[@untouchable360x]

Then she goes back to Chad and Tyrone.

[@dabd8175]

She will peace out

[@nicolcacola]

"After marriage" is the key. Rebuilding the savings will be a non issue.

[@johnnyboy5869]

@@nicolcacola what difference does "after marriage" makes?

[@regb6989]

@@nicolcacola unfortunately marriage doesn’t mean too much anymore. If she isn’t aggressively attacking her debt now she won’t do too much to rebuild the savings once married.

[@RJLuna10]

Should still have the conversation without telling her that he would be paying almost all of her debt after marriage to see her response before buying an engagement ring.

[@billnyeisafraud]

@Heinrich Himmler when you get married, it's is for rich or for poor. If you're not ready to get on the same page, don't get married.

[@billnyeisafraud]

@Heinrich Himmler clearly you are not ready to be a part of 50% that succeed!! I would advise you to stay away from getting married!!

[@billnyeisafraud]

@Heinrich Himmler if it's "cheaper to keep her" my friend you have found the wrong woman!!!! Hahahahaha

[@riverdaletales8457]

Nahh I would run away and not marry the chick 🤣. That or stay as girlfriend and boyfriend.

[@grizzlybear2702]

@@billnyeisafraud for rich or for poor. Correction. This only applies when it benefits a woman at the expense of a man.

[@BagsNBaguettes_327]

Why would he use his 45k that he sweat and saved for??! She hasn’t felt any pain so debt will be running rampant. Don’t listen to this advice. I follow Dave’s advice but I wouldn’t do this. You’ve been warned.

[@marcusj97]

AMEN

[@lauromartinez8948]

True. I don’t know why Dave said that, his savings are the only think preventing him from going into debt.

[@Posting7]

Thank you!!!

[@97I30T]

Yeah, Dave gives great advice most of the time but I don’t agree with his views on relationships. He always takes the woman’s side. He’s teaching guys how to be simps.

[@bigidiot123]

The idea behind marriage is that you become one unit, that includes money. Everything you own becomes theirs and vice versa. So by getting married he's basically handing over that $45k to her anyway. This is the reason so many marriages end in divorce. Human beings are inherently selfish. I don't want to pay off $55k of someone else's debt with my hard earned money either, so I won't get married to someone with $55k in debt. Marriage is not for everyone. Actually it's probably not for the vast majority of people. It's weird that a religious ceremony invented by desert people 2,000 years ago is even still a thing.

[@tuna02]

Hope this dude is reading these comments because there's better advice in here than what he received from Dave

[@perotal]

Preach !!

[@shutupandeatasmr4498]

I hope he gets a prenup also. Lol

[@Jesseg-rj6xf]

Amén!

[@Rampage086]

I totally agree!

[@davidcopperfield2278]

the strangest thing in this story is the fact they hadn't have a conversation about it in 3 years while planing to get married, these two guys just played it down, it's much weirder than they made it sound. I just can't smell a healthy relationship here

[@zolozek3327]

He's a millionaire they get tax breaks

[@betruetoyourself7162]

When a couple do not talk of their dreams, they don’t plan on being together long.... it may just be a convenience arrangement

[@davidcopperfield2278]

@@betruetoyourself7162 totally agree

[@zeal4god402]

Many people did not grow up having regular financial discussions so it is challenging for many when they are adults, but for a healthy and stronger marriage it must be done

[@SilhouetteASMR]

He’s spending 45k of his life savings on a woman he’s known for 3 years. Sheesh, I hope the marriage works out.

[@perotal]

It won't

[@chrisfamos]

This is why i have secret accounts. No I only have 15k in savings lol

[@chrisfamos]

@Michael Ellingsworth check out Coach Red Pill on here if you haven’t already. He’s great.

[@Jay-om8gr]

He’s a fool

[@BW_Reformation]

It will for her.

[@corey407woc]

highly doubt SHE would drop HER $45k for “his/their” debt

[@littleripper312]

Then she shouldn't get married. What's the actual reason for getting married if you keep your life separate? You might as well stay bf and gf. There's literally no point to a marriage then.

[@ricolewis2949]

You are CORRRRRRRRECT a mundo

[@mkeptrangli]

@@littleripper312 What if you already had a mountain of student debt and you paid it all off on your own? Why should you then have to drain your savings that you struggled to accumulate because of your own debt to pay off someone else’s?

[@rachelmaddowswife8713]

@@mkeptrangli Because if you're trying to build a life with that person, their debt is costing you money one way or another. If you don't help them pay it ASAP, instead of your spouse's income going into your joint account and financing the life you want, it's going to endless interest payments for the next couple decades. If you don't want to pool resources and maximize your shared success, why are you getting married? Do the person a favor and dump them.

[@krassimirpetrov7131]

He’s gonna end up paying off the debt then she leaves him , hope he reads this

[@brianwillis8447]

Happens all the time.

[@Haleh1]

Think about how this belief impacts your life.

[@arminsohrab5155]

Yeah... "Give her that gift"... pay off her debt so she can "roll her eyes" at you and leave you ;)

[@Ricardo_C]

Bingo

[@twincherry4958]

Some girls are lucky ! The only thing is, even if he pays it she will not cherish it or be grateful because it's not a burden to her.

[@ustinovclarke321]

But when it's the opposite way around she shouldn't marry him

[@manuelusg]

Don’t Propose until she shows you guys are on the same page and starts paying off her debt.

[@crisc5890]

Lol write a check 45k that’s easy to say when it’s someone else’s money

[@omarlarhdid1997]

Dude needs to call Coach Greg Adams not Dave Ramsey

[@allanneedham1943]

Hahahaha - Zactly!!!!

[@achavez78]

"We just solved all of your problems" WOW..... Call him back in 2 years when he's at the family court house about to get washed after he paid those debts off for her.

[@private464]

Exactly! This was horrible advice...and I like Dave. Let her prove with her ACTIONS in the first year or two of marriage how committed she is to paying off her debt and saving.

[@descendantofgiants1678]

😂😂.Dave has old school southern mentality. He thinks women from his era are the same type of women today.. They are far from it. Most young women today have that competition mentality as opposed to a complimentary one.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@@descendantofgiants1678 Most older women also have the competition mentality. The few that don't are still happily married. Remember Dave's wife isn't going anywhere because she is already married to a millionaire and if you listen carefully to Dave, Sharon Ramsey really runs the Ramsey house and money. Dave is the real wuss. Women seldom complain if you do everything they tell you to.

[@descendantofgiants1678]

@@johnbreitmeier3268 .I agree. From what i can deduce and by the way he speaks about relationships, Dave is a life long simp as well..

[@judymckee5992]

@@descendantofgiants1678 , I am coming from divorcing twice with men that are working and fruitful, after being married to them, they stopped working. I am now married a 3 rd time and we do have separate bank accounts but we share 50- 50 on expenses. I happen to have a fully paid condo, so bills are not that much including food. He cleans, does laundry ( because he does not want a house keeper, as I used to have one) and makes breakfast, I do lunch dinner and tea time. We are very happy with that arrangement ( 4 years married ), 2 years from now, we will combine our monies to buy a house instead. There is not just one way ( combine income ), I learned that lesson quick and would not do it except progressively.

[@matthewbarry2079]

No way I’d pay off somebody else’s debt, especially if It wipes out your entire savings

[@InvalidFingerprint]

The DR perspective is that it's not "someone else's" debt once you're married. It's "your" debt, because you're married

[@InvalidFingerprint]

@Heinrich Himmler why is that?

[@InvalidFingerprint]

@Heinrich Himmler what if they started with ~75k and have since worked it down to 15k over the course of 12-18 months? I mean, that's some serious work to be getting rid of that debt, wouldn't you say?

[@l.a6273]

@Heinrich Himmler 15k not even bad she in 60k 15k can be paid within actually a year if you live poor.

[@matthewbarry2079]

@@InvalidFingerprint then don’t get married, it’s not his responsibility to pay off her debt. Especially if it clears his life savings. Forget that lol

[@Bblock150]

Did he really just say use all HIS SAVINGS ON HER DEBT? What in the world that's insane!!!

[@Nick-bo3yq]

Dcd 180 Maybe could only use half his savings, for example put $22,500 towards the dept, and u would still have $22,500 left over in the savings for like an emergency or a down payment on a house etc.

[@Bblock150]

@@Nick-bo3yq Half his savings on HER DEBT? Your crazy homie

[@davem4193]

There is no worse simp on this planet than Dave. I love his advice on getting out of debt but he gives the worst relationship advice to men I've ever heard in my life.

[@montt3747]

@@Nick-bo3yq siiimppppp

[@sunset6010]

I would NEVER pay someone else's DEBT. Sorry not sorry 🚨

[@pawelwisniewski6849]

Never say never 😂

[@davinarobertson47]

@@pawelwisniewski6849 😳

[@johnhiggins3943]

I have, and there both not in my life. One is family and one was a lover never again

[@jillwilkerson2032]

Obviously you’re someone who has never been married and if you do get married, won’t be able to stay married. LEARN TO SHARE!!!

[@ryugurena3327]

Someone pay off my debt plsss

[@rebeccawcleung]

Dr John is soooo cringey.... “give her that gift”

[@Backtobassics]

I thought Dr John was saying “give her the gift” of taking the initiative to bring the conversation of finances to the table

[@Enigmalake]

Give her that...option to pay off the debt while you stay engaged

[@johnkeeler5]

People who don’t understand John’s mindset are the ones who become the divorce statistic 😂. There are too many keyboard warriors on here talking from a point of weakness

[@Enigmalake]

@@TheAck201 kinda not funny or clever sarcasm 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@wichaelmeston1492]

Boy.. get your Nike’s and run

[@ChavezDIY]

🤣🤣🤣

[@olgagoncharova7918]

😅😅

[@gerardlead9321]

Facts 😂😂😂

[@josephcoatofmanycolors]

😂 just do it

[@Vinhthitheu]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@benreilly595]

At least shes being honest before you put a ring on it.

[@akg_table]

Or, she told him enough for him to believe that's all she owes. You never know with people who are deep in debt and looking to marry someone without much debt,

[@elevate4eva]

@dachicagoan bro, she told you she had no debt but had you paying her car note (debt)? Is this a false story or were you completely oblivious.

[@universalask]

@dachicagoan $1,500 or $15,000

[@avataz]

@@akg_table maybe he should run a credit check on her lol

[@clarifyingquestions]

@dachicagoan She is being honest and he is not listening. This happens everyday between couples. Then they blame each other when it does not work out. No one uses a mirror anymore.

[@LG123ABC]

It sounds like he thinks she's out of his league and that's why he's tip-toeing around having "the conversation" about her debt and poor spending habits. Dude, you need to man-up and have a "Come to Jesus" talk with her about debt and spending or you're going to have nothing but problems with this relationship. You HAVE to be ready to walk away if she's not willing to take this subject seriously. Time to put your big-boy pants on.

[@andrew8168]

Her looks will be gone before the debt...

[@od2437]

Prenup

[@twincherry4958]

Well, maybe he's not ready to walk away

[@kurtjames9487]

if he needs to have a "Come to Jesus" talk with her, then she wouldn't be out of his league. He's got savings. She's got debt and poor spending habits. If anything, he's out of her league.

[@quietsignal]

He’s hooked for sure...

[@oliverwhite30]

Dude Debt free with Savings, Girlfriend Hugh Debt NO Savings. The guy must surrender ALL his savings when entering into the marriage contract. Clearly there's no upside for him. If she's rolling her eyes at the conversation of money it's a BIG red flag for him.

[@achavez78]

This caller is overdose'd on the blue pill

[@ceciliapreziose3783]

cecilia preziose 1 second ago Here's a novel idea......let her show you how wonderful she is with money. Give her two years to pay off the debt and then you will marry. This will show you how much she wants to marry you and not your wallet, and it will show YOU how she can handle money too. Paying her debt off, you become a daddy and you still don't know how she handles money. After car, mortgage, kids, cutie will not balance the budget.................COME ON DAVE, THE GUY IS A SAP, TELL HIM, MAKE HER SHOW YOU HOW SHE CAN HANDLE HER MONEY AND LET HER PAY IT OFF HERSELF BEFORE MARRIAGE

[@diannathornton2911]

The money in savings will be hers too.

[@Power_Verse_]

In she there's someone he can find with no debt. ...it's not many but he could tho lol.. s

[@Anonyme67]

Plus when they divorce she takes half 😆😆😆😆😆

[@TheLuxeTraveler702]

If I were him, I'd let him let her pay her debt off. She accomplished nursing school, she can accomplish paying off her debt.

[@davysmith8569]

you a good woman lady.

[@rhoadestraveled]

I would’ve been interested to hear what kind of debt she had. Because if it’s consumer debt if he bails her out she might just go crazy spending again.

[@iAbdosh]

They said student loan debt

[@jennyhammond9261]

Right! If it's student loans...not great, but if it's credit card debt gotta question her ability to do math and make good choices

[@rhoadestraveled]

@@iAbdosh I didn’t hear that... thank you that’s a lot more forgivable.

[@MakeupGaloreInc]

@@iAbdosh I rewatched the video. They NEVER said type of debt!

[@iAbdosh]

@@MakeupGaloreInc oops...well she’s a nurse so safe to say she had to get an education for that field of work

[@stuartclubb4302]

SIMP away James. SIMP away.

[@anthonylozano8035]

SIMPIN AINT EASY

[@achavez78]

This is getting outta hand, Dave Ramsey becoming the simp hotline!

[@LG123ABC]

Lots of INCELS posting here!

[@Je.rone_]

"If you like it than you should've put a ring on it, after the debt is paid off" - beyoncé after 24hrs of Dave Ramsey

[@claborn79]

"She loves you yeah yeah yeah, She's debt free yeah yeah yeah..."

[@StevieSparkZ]

Lol @ all these comments

[@SyracusAlmighty]

Give it 6 months, see how much “gazelle intensity” or how on board she’s willing to put in as a nurse & if the $55K hasn’t changed there’s your answer. I love Dave, but I would advise a trust but verify time period before marriage.

[@ImVeryBrad]

wut

[@GotFaculty]

I really don't like the idea of just handing out 45k even if it is the person I love the most

[@sami-9233]

Genius

[@Austin-xx2nu]

In the end he did say that she needed to pay don 10K of it before they got married. Honestly if you can't trust the person you are marrying to pay off their debt, then why are you getting married?

[@sunset6010]

JQ : BINGO 🎯

[@acorntree404]

Sort this out first. Does he want to spend his life savings to bail her out though....

[@noname-oe9jy]

Dave is a traditional man living in a very non traditional world.

[@jvm-tv]

That was his actual question

[@juniorgod321]

Run, Forrest! Run!!!

[@Coach__B]

$55,000 -$60,000??? You better get a prenup. She could skip out the minute the debt is paid. Nope. 10 year plan where the longer she stays the less she owes you back. After 10 years she is free and clear. Don't just pay it without some reassurances, otherwise you will be salty if she decides to bolt.

[@SantoineBethel]

I like Ramsey’s plan, but despise his antiquated views on relationships. This girl will take him for everything he has and leave.

[@mikeharper4529]

What does "antiquated views" matter? I agree she'll take him for everything he has, but relationships themselves are antiquated but that doesn't mean they're bad or anything (as the slur suggests). What's not antiquated is our legal system that screws men over, and it's a tragedy.

[@SantoineBethel]

@@mikeharper4529 There are videos when a woman would call in the exact same situation, and he’ll call the man lazy. There were two videos this past week. The antique: men are supposed to take of the woman. Modern society’s rules consider that to be a product of hyper masculinity and chauvinism. Everyone’s supposed to be, unless a man is viewed in negative light (in Dave’s eyes).

[@eoinhernon25]

@@SantoineBethel I just wrote a comment in another Dave Ramsey video, how he nearly always goes against the man. I don’t understand this because he seems like a very intelligent and reasonable person for the most part

[@lawv804]

Ramsey has the typical boomer view on relationships, like being against prenups. Prenups are a must these days.

[@davysmith8569]

Absolut, Dave would never let his daighter mary a broke dead beat. I guarantee it.

[@JakeStewart1343]

4:09 DAVE: Give her all your savings and you'll be debt free in 2 months! JON: This is the greatest call of your life! 😂

[@theinsider6462]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 unbelievable

[@crazeekids9744]

As a woman, I have a huge problem with asking anyone else to pay off MY debt: husband, family, anyone. People need to take responsibility for their own mess.

[@paulaaquino]

Agree... I also would never ask a husband to be to spend his life savings on my debt

[@velveder2]

I would transfer 40k into a separate account she doesn’t know about and tell her that you will both work together to pay off her debt. Keep 40k as an emergency fund. It is your money.

[@pep590]

So Dave, if I pay her debt off and then she leaves me in a couple of years, will she have to pay me back?

[@Jay-om8gr]

Exactly

[@davem4193]

Simpin' ain't easy

[@ThaRedPitbull]

She's going to say, "It was a gift." lol

[@jvm-tv]

Which is 50% chance statistically

[@Jay-om8gr]

@@jvm-tv over 50%. Over 60% nowadays

[@nantinee9]

Have her pay off all her debts before getting married.

[@dorkga1092]

Yep. You nailed it. Why should he deplete his savings over her debt?

[@leonardu6094]

@@dorkga1092 because they're a couple.

[@dorkga1092]

@@leonardu6094 Yeah, but they're not married. She made the decision to take on the debt in the first place so, legally, it's her responsibility, even after they get married. Or she could at least try to pay most of it. And then, if he wants to help her pay off the rest, that might work better. But for him to cash in his entire savings to fix her financial problems doesn't really make sense. Imagine if a friend of yours borrowed money from another person and told them that you would pay it back for them. Is that fair?

[@habeshasister11]

@@dorkga1092 they’re going to be married. He said after the honeymoon to pay for it.

[@JM-ev8wt]

The juice ain’t worth the squeeze.

[@MR3DDev]

"What's her attitude about this?" I am thinking "yay I dont have to pay my debt anymore"

[@woodside4life]

😂😂😂

[@ginaf5156]

The guy shouldn't propose yet, it seems that they are just getting to know each other ...

[@ryanj357]

Never marry someone until they pay off their debt. If the girl was truly committed to her boyfriend she's do everything she can to pay it off herself.

[@HisMajesty99]

Poor guy is clueless. She’s just gonna leave him anyways.

[@LifeofKairo]

Well at least we can assume that she doesn't listen to the show 😲

[@chelsea7229]

I personally wouldn’t marry anyone with debt like that. Tell her that if she wants to get married, you expect her to pay the debt down. If she doesn’t think you’re worth the effort that will take, leave her.

[@littleripper312]

Same I think I would rather wait a few years and see how much progress she makes. If she's paying 1k/month off the principle I would be okay.

[@jaym2835]

Imagine writing a check $45k to pay off her debt and god forbid you lose your job.

[@serioushamster]

$100k after taxes and insurance (those annoying little things that Dave forgets exist for most people) is more like $66000 take home.

[@WaterspoutsOfTheDeep]

Give her the gift of your lifes savings when she hasn't even bothered to pay off her debt yet even though she can do it completely while they are married and he pays the bills. Unreal a life coach would give such naive advice.

[@grantarmbruster6591]

Dave I can't believe you are advocating that he marry someone whom he is unequally yoked.

[@Paul.Archer]

Totally not what the scripture means about being unequally yoked, and yet 23 likes. Read your Bible, please 🤦🏻

[@grantarmbruster6591]

@@Paul.Archer yes I understand about being spiritually yoked but someone who takes on debt like this is obviously not operating the same as you spiritually speaking.

[@jacobb554]

I have no choice but to marry someone who is unequally yoked because most females don't have huge biceps

[@grantarmbruster6591]

@@jacobb554 lol no but if she has the same fitness levels as you..

[@clarenceoliveriii]

Once you get married, her debt is your debt...your wealth is her wealth

[@globaltechmastery2393]

Lol...

[@globaltechmastery2393]

A great mystery indeed

[@untouchable360x]

But her wealth is HER wealth.

[@tmerchead1]

An her wealth is still her wealth.

[@BW_Reformation]

Lol 💯

[@DrJaredNelson]

It's a tough call! When married, you both need to work together on the debt. But it's hard to accept taking on debt when you did everything right.

[@achavez78]

2021 Update: He married her, paid her debts, she divorced him, he pays alimony. Hypergamy at work!

[@tekonethemc]

Haha 😂 yes

[@sleepychris3095]

This same thing happened to a guy at work!

[@RangerRickTV]

Monkey branching.

[@achavez78]

@@RangerRickTV you 100% right

[@marcusj97]

Unless you meet a christian woman that works, is responsible with money and so forth, I really dont see why any man should get married. The legal system makes it a business decision that a man can never win. Its a shame really that a man has to consider all the BS when getting married. .

[@djpuplex]

Don't do it. Disaster in the making. She'll appreciate and her next dude will appreciate the debt being paid off. Tampa again 🤦.

[@edwinl423]

If you're not that confident in a woman to clear her debt, you are clearly not in a position to marry her.

[@landonlowe4029]

@@edwinl423 lol fax.. to be honest I feel the same about prenups but I get it given how people are in 2020🤣

[@anthonylozano8035]

ouch!!! hahaah

[@tmerchead1]

@@edwinl423 Or he doesn't wanna get played for a fool ,whats in it for him to pay off his spouse debt? Both should go into a marriage with no debt.

[@ryanj357]

@@edwinl423 You're obviously a simp. Why pay off someones debt when you have none. If she was truly dedicated to her boyfriend she would have no problem paying it off herself. I'd rather be single then pay off someone elses debt.

[@CaseyBurnsInvesting]

Debt isn’t the issue, disposition can be. Are we moving forward or are we content being stuck in the mud? That’s the question.

[@BW_Reformation]

This 💯💯💯

[@multistack1502]

Casey Spams every channel to try and get views to himself. He has a poorly run channel and not good content. He attempts to benefit himself off the work of others. It’s obvious of this because he comments on every single video, also does it within 10 seconds of posting most of the time, thus showing he doesn’t watch the video. He is a spammer and a bad person all around. PLEASE BAN

[@multistack1502]

Casey Spams every channel to try and get views to himself. He has a poorly run channel and not good content. He attempts to benefit himself off the work of others. It’s obvious of this because he comments on every single video, also does it within 10 seconds of posting most of the time, thus showing he doesn’t watch the video. He is a spammer and a bad person all around. PLEASE BAN

[@shutupandeatasmr4498]

💯💯💯💯💯💯

[@CaseyBurnsInvesting]

@@multistack1502 I appreciate you.

[@kalauj]

She’s definitely keeping him around to pay off her debt. Don’t do it. 🤦🏻‍♀️ She needs to have her own plan to pay it off as a commitment to her boyfriend. She’s a nurse so she makes money and just needs to pick up extra shifts.

[@achavez78]

Year 1: married Year 2: debt paid off Year 3: child Year 4: family court Year 5 till 18: child support and alimony. This guy is gonna get washed!

[@shutupandeatasmr4498]

Period. My sister graduated this year and is a nurse. She literally pays 2k a month to her loan and will be debt free in less than 10 months.

[@alycewich4472]

@@shutupandeatasmr4498 GOOD FOR HER!

[@habeshasister11]

She was going to school for nursing. Highly doubt that was her plan.

[@dazcrypto]

I hope he reads this. Bud don’t pay off her debt at all! You worked hard to get that money. It’s HER debt! You aren’t married yet.

[@pmw3839]

Don’t get married! She is not a keeper.

[@dvndroneography]

I’m in the EXACT same situation.. BUT. I asked my gf if she would pay my loans and if I could have her inheritance. No and no. Flip the tables before you ruin yourself bro. I would never pay someone else’s debt that I didn’t sign off on.

[@chrisfamos]

This is why you put a mass portion of your savings in an investment account. Your name only.

[@eddieperez8111]

Did not know that. I’m glad a good amount of mine is invested

[@jvm-tv]

Wouldn't matter at the time of divorce but at least won't clear get debt for free

[@princesslamour1985]

As a nurse she can work for 3 months and be COMPLETELY debt free with extra in savings. 👍🏾👍🏾

[@emilyz3932]

For sure and if you listen he says oh she “probably” makes 50-55k. I don’t think he knows how much she actually makes

[@Martin_3030_]

You can tell that his goal was not to use his $45k in savings at all to help her pay her debt off. He did mention to her that they can pay off the debt together in 5 years..He doesn’t want to touch his money one bit.. you can hear him chuckle when Dave said pay it off

[@kaileymarie2251]

Too many people have lost faith in marriage. It’s so sad to see :(

[@gracetinuagboola737]

Honestly

[@DeltaLou]

So bro, remember when you had 40K in saving and you were debt free....yeah, well now you have to give all of that up to your wife in the divorce... - The ghost of XMAS future.

[@eldermillennial2000]

😂

[@ianrobinson476]

The hope is that if he cant see this happening, he shouldn't get married in the first place. The bad decision would be to get married in the first place, not to pay off your spouses debt once you are married.

[@davem4193]

Dave just gave him the worst advice ever.

[@MrCander000]

Nah, she would have to show some initiative in paying down her debt before I'd propose to her and make her problems mine.

[@crissieasmr7765]

True. I’m paying off all my debt for this reason. And I have no boyfriend.

[@LG123ABC]

@@crissieasmr7765 Well, eventually you'll be a great catch!

[@mrcander0005]

@@crissieasmr7765 Way to go!

[@marquestanderson1388]

The debt shouldn't be the concern. The person that you are marrying should. People in general get into debt. The only factor that should bring red flags is what is their attitude about their debt? Are they intense and intentional about "eradicating" it out of their life to the point that they are getting two jobs(full-time and part-time), renting a room, cutting out " fun", and writing a budget. If they aren't, the debt can be 1000 dollars, you should reconsider. And at that point it doesn't become a financial problem, but a problem with their character.

[@Finnerski]

Make like a tree and get outta there! You will resent her and hate yourself one day for paying off her debt. Did Dave just recommend you to empty YOUR savings account? That is horrible advice!

[@anthonylozano8035]

lol make like a tree. I thought trees stay planted in the ground xD

[@kml.]

@@anthonylozano8035 "make like a tree and leave" is the real saying lol

[@dtbristol]

Exactly! What's in if for him? Better to stay boyfriend and girlfriend. She'll drain his savings account and in a divorce, she'll be also draining his FUTURE savings and earnings.

[@Finnerski]

@@kml. got it from Biff. Remember Back to the Future?

[@domjohnson2579]

Make like a car and fly away!

[@foodloveryum8669]

Unfortunately a lot of people get married in this situation they really really need to have the conversations before they get married

[@hannesproductions4302]

WHEN THERE IS DOUBT, THERE IS NO DOUBT

[@texan903]

I've never heard Dave and Dr. John give worse advice, but it is 2020.

[@private464]

Too bad Dave Ramsey never reads these comments! This was horrible advice...and I like Dave. As almost everyone here has said: let her prove with her ACTIONS in the first year or two of marriage how committed she is to paying off her debt and saving. He should not wipe out his whole savings. So much divorce now...way too risky.

[@Backtobassics]

I agree with the idea of seeing where her mindset is with paying off debt, but I think the true true problem is like they said, it’s been 3+ years, he should know where her mindset is at this point. They’re planning the married step but don’t even know what they’re marrying into.

[@Estiexo]

@@Backtobassics facts he should be having these conversations BEFORE they get married if she’s rolling her eyes then drop her QUICK

[@EadsB7002]

AGREED! Not something to play around with or take lightly. Marriage is no joke...then add financial issues on top of it and you're really asking for disaster

[@ryanj357]

Don't get married until she pays it off. She needs to learn on her own how to manage money. Why pay someone elses debt off when you're perfectly capable of managing your own money.

[@Backtobassics]

But isn’t the idea that once they become married there isn’t any “his” and “her”, everything collectively becomes theirs?

[@ryanj357]

@@Backtobassics Debt puts a financial strain on a relationship. Yes everything becomes theirs only if she's paid it off before you get married. Don't just give women a free ride. You're better than that. Never marry in to debt. You'll regret it later. Find someone who is on your level and has the same values as you.

[@young5ive426]

I would not do this … that’s ridiculous ! She gets to run up debt and he sacrifices and have to pay for it. People have these conversations before marriage. Bro if you haven’t don’t marry her if she’s not on board for paying her own debt

[@deschainerideaux]

Glad I’m debt free now so my future husband doesn’t even have to have that concern... it’s nobody’s responsibility to take care of YOUR debt except YOU. It’s quite selfish to assume your spouse is “supposed” to take on the financial baggage you had prior marriage, in my humble opinion 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@rayinspires]

@Heinrich Himmler 😂😂 your dame right

[@lupita3689]

If he offers to pay her $45k debt and she agrees right away then she's probably NOT a keeper.

[@MatthewGraham027]

I think they missed his real problem. He has trust issues because he is giving up his money for the relationship and she is giving the debt.

[@benreilly595]

Yeah well....I got my own problems

[@lindsay833]

Get her an affordable ring and downsize the wedding. Downsize living/lifestyle/luxury expenses, etc. *Then* see how her attitude changes and if she gets on board. If not, call off the wedding. She clearly is not on-board if she can't compromise early in the marriage. Things just get harder the longer you stay married, it's not like Hollywood where it's all easy. If she can't change her lifestyle for her debt, what makes you think she can change her lifestyle for you?

[@TheBlackDorothyZbornak]

She's a nurse, she can easily pay it off--he doesnt have to. The problem is does she WANT to

[@EadsB7002]

there you go! And thats the big red flag! She has the ability to...that's the scary part !

[@qlili303]

Something tells me this woman will rack up the debt again . She will not be grateful he paid off her debt because it doesn’t seem to bother her .

[@kevinjohnston8341]

Don't just write a cheque for $45000. Build some responsibility. Tell her you'll match dollar-for-dollar from your savings any money she pays off on her debts each month until the debt clears. This way you each pay half and you've built in added trust and understanding.

[@pmw3839]

I wouldn’t pay a penny.

[@lyricixsubaru]

Guys, you are tired, before doing reviews, you first read about FBC and their algorithm

[@johnk6749]

This guy is a fool, and you know what they say about a fool and his money. Their incomes are approximately the same. After she is out of debt she is not going to stay with a man who makes the same money as her. When she gets pregnant and wants to stop working, she will not want to live on his income. He will either be divorced or he will be calling Dave to ask him what to do. Dave will tell him to deliver pizzas or drive Uber to make more money. Good luck, buddy. You will need it.

[@danielvasquez3758]

Good thing he KNOWS that and she’s honest with him. That’s refreshing to hear but she’s not committed to the plan it seems like. I’d rather not if I were him. Also, that’s significant debt too. It’s not like she owes 10k or 15k and he’s scared too but it’s not like he’ll listen to any of us anyways.

[@CharlotteG754]

It takes education!! If she never spent time learning and thinking about her finances it doesn’t mean she isn’t worthy to be a wife! That’s right! Have conversations! I have a lot less income than my husband - and I’m more money-conscious than he is - I have been talking about doing budget and paying off debt. He initially didn’t really want to talk to me and include me in his business. We have talked and learned together - we started tracking and adjusting - eliminating bad habits. He trusts me now and appreciates it!

[@andrew8168]

He said its "about $60k" so he doesnt know, just knows what she admitted....

[@andrewz4313]

I think it’s interesting that the dude didn’t want to bring up that he had $45k in savings, LOL...sounds like he cried a bit inside knowing that money is going to pay off debt. Dr. D and Dave are right, there is a pronoun problem, but you can’t blame the caller too much since they aren’t married yet. You could just hear the silence on the call once Dave recommended using the savings to pay off the debt LOL 😂

[@rickeyslake]

Ridiculous. He had no debt but he’s marrying someone with debt? No!

[@EXEON727]

disregard females, acquire currency

[@angelb6841]

😂😂

[@1jw298]

Nah, just use you big head more than your little one

[@aaronvenema]

Acquire BTC

[@EadsB7002]

nah, just don't get married if there are any hesitations!

[@chopsuey061987]

This viewpoint is really idealistic. If this guy is watching, I would say to save that money for a downpayment and let her show you she's serious about paying off debt. If you see that after a year or so that she's dead set on paying off the debt than absolutely offer to pay off the remainder with that money that he has saved what is left. I wouldn't just throw 45k to a new spouse especially within the first year of their marriage that is going to be the make-or-break year of your marriage.

[@Guitarlvr01]

Amazing how people don’t like the inconvenient truth that when you get married you inherit the person’s debt. I was a single mom but had no debt and tens of thousands of dollars saved. When I married my husband, I paid off his debt. But together we have rebuilt from ground zero. He learned. It wasn’t the end of the world. I loved him and decided I didn’t want to wait for him to be debt free to get married. However, we did FPU as soon as we got married.

[@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303]

I am surprised you stepped up and paid for him. That is pretty noble. I would have probably paid half and then told her (assuming I was in a relationship in this same situation) to pay the other half AT MOST. But actually, marriage does not necessarily mean you inherit another's debt. I mean think about what marriage once was before any of these laws were made. Marriage was actually a way to keep a husband accountable for his wife. If males went about and procreated like crazy, there would be tons of babies unaccounted for and females struggling everywhere.

[@Angela-ne9cy]

In three years they haven't had a "dreamy" conversation about their future? Doesn't sound like a healthy, grounded, adult relationship to me. It sounds more like a "hey, we love each other and this is super fun and we want a wedding" relationship.

[@moni5567]

My husband was in 40k in debt and me in 15k in debt. Of course he told me before marriage but we both agreed that we were sticking to the debt free plan. So as long as she's honest about all her debt and y'all are on the same page and continue to then it will be fine. If she shows signs of not being on the same plan I'd push back the engagement

[@HamiltonRb]

I might be reading into this a bit, but I think she doesn’t want to sacrifice her lifestyle for a few years to pay this debt off, and he is more anxious to clear this up than she is

[@jaydee87403]

Helping her out once married? Sure! Depleting his savings? Please don't!

[@pgperezlife32]

Don't be a Simp. She should pay down her own debts.

[@DeadLkeMe]

Get her on Dave Ramsey and when she actually starts working the plan (ie changing her behavior and mindset to tackling debt), then consider marrying her.

[@DustinOranchuk]

there is a middle ground here. Use at most 20k of his 45k savings to immediately drop the debt from 55k to 35k (nearly halving the amount of interest paid each month). Then only match her contribution to the debt each month. You're a team, but he should NOT be paying off all of HER debt.

[@ryanj357]

He shouldn't pay any of her debt at all. There are plenty of women out there who don't have debt. This guy in the video is just young and doesn't have enough life experience. If she was committed to her boyfriend she would own up to it and pay it off herself.

[@Samuels691]

This is a conversation in the first year. For me probably the first 6months before I even progress anything

[@alphasia91]

This comment section always makes me, a woman trying to pay off debt with a low income, feel so discouraged. Not every woman with debt is looking for a husband just to pay off debt so she can leave. It’s such a cynical point of view.

[@clarenceoliveriii]

He better hope she doesn’t listen to the Dave Ramsey show too

[@globaltechmastery2393]

Hahahaha

[@TAPPChannel]

Buhahaha never thought about my wifes debt when I decided be be with her

[@anthonylozano8035]

How about just marry a woman without debt hmmmmm

[@nancyval325]

@@anthonylozano8035 because someone with zero debt is rare. Plus that's not something you find out until way later down the relationship. Everyone has to start somewhere. You want a house? debt. You need a car? Some sort of Debt for a little while.. Yes you can buy a cash car but thats a different conversation. Catastrophic accident? Debt. Education? Some debt. I personally wouldn't drain my savings for someone's debt but definitely would help tackle it.

[@enhancedutility266]

@@anthonylozano8035 next to impossible

[@robert8930]

@@nancyval325 No, a woman with zero debt is rare. honestly, most men tend to work another job or get an extra shift or live frugaly and pay that debt off, whereas most women don't care much about it.

[@nancyval325]

@@robert8930 maybe it's the women you have came across.

[@Howtocreatewinningfocalsbeads]

He doesn’t want to dip into his savings account. He would’ve offered up that info earlier in the call. Sounds like he’s scared to talk to her

[@2023Red]

Let me provide this young man the vision that he will start with that gift and it will be a gift that never stops giving. Dump that woman and find a different one. Women are everywhere and they all a man with a regular paycheck. No exception.

[@Sam89365]

Yeah if you're even asking the question than the answer is no bro.

[@robertclontz3728]

You have GOT to be on the same page, no excuses! If one person in the relationship is not on board, you need to go elsewhere.

[@JP-ll8iy]

Agreed!

[@EadsB7002]

for sure! and when money is involved, things can go from bad to worse in a hurry. this isn't something to take lightly!

[@Raza__12]

Why should the guy pay her debt? He worked his way through to be debt free and managed to save those 45K. Debt you accumulated before marriage should be only yours!

[@BlakeBoege]

I didn’t know after the honeymoon and you become French, we we. Lol 😂